Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast today. Our desire is for the Word of God to be spread throughout the world.
So that all may know Christ. Join us now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church, located in Kernersville, North Carolina. Our series is the Prison of Resentment. Our theme verse, I want to go over that each week as we do. Proverbs chapter 18, verse 19.
Let's look at it again. Might be some of you here that weren't here last Sunday night as we began this series. A brother offended. is harder to be won. than a strong city.
and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. A person that has been offended, a person that holds resentment. Is literally one of the hardest individuals to reach. And literally, that resentment, their contentions in a person's life becomes a prison. The bars of a castle here, what do they do?
Well, they keep people out and they keep you in. They isolate you and they keep you away from others. And it's literally, resentment can be a prison. And what you'll find is at first, when you have resentment, you'll find people that will be on your side. And we do that, by the way.
You get resentment, kind of mad at whatever the situation is. You'll find people talk to them, kind of share, and they'll agree with you, and they'll think, hey, well, you know, and you kind of feel like, okay, I'm justified. Everybody's on my side. But what you're going to find, the longer resentment goes, people are going to get very tired of hearing about it. It's a burden you're going to have to bear, and even eventually they're like, you know, you probably ought to let this one go.
But the deeper it goes and the longer it goes, the more isolation happens. Resentment is a prison. And so, our series obviously is the prison of resentment. Last week, we talked about the grief. of resentment, how it brings grief.
Into your life, to others' lives, to your relationship with the Lord. Tonight, we want to talk about the darkness of resentment. I felt this was a fantastic passage to deal with based on what we preached about this morning. And I want to pick it up in verse 9 that we read together. But if you'll notice, if you can think about it in terms of what we talked about this morning, verse 9 says, again, I mean, he that saith, he is in the light.
and hateth his brother, is in darkness. That literally resentment is a darkness in your life. Notice this: he that loveth his brother abideth in the light, verse 10. And there is none occasion of stumbling in him, but he that hateth his brother. Resentment.
is in darkness. and walketh in darkness. and knoweth not whither he goeth because that. Darkness hath blinded. his eyes.
We want to talk about this tonight. Again, so much good feedback from last week, and I think it's something that we all need. And as we deal with this, we're going to look at two things in this passage. First, the assessment of our condition. And then second, the answer.
for our condition. All right, let's pray. Lord, I love you. Thank you for all that you've done. Lord, we talked this morning how that Lord, our spirit is the candle of the Lord.
And in salvation, you bring light into our life. And God, we are talking literally about The light versus darkness in the subject of resentment. And Lord, I pray that you would shine your light in our life. Lord, resentment many times is something that we can stuff back up in the recesses of our life and kind of pretend it's not there. And Lord, we need your help tonight.
We need you to show us. We need you to make it clear. And we need answers. And I pray, Lord, as you begin to do the work on the inside. And Lord, I believe that eventually we're going to see.
the results of your work on the outside. We love you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. The assessment of our condition.
This passage Just came alive to me.
Now, I had to read verses one all the way down through verse eight before we began with verse nine, because it's literally a study of the fact that you know, we're a new creature in Christ. And we can't say we love God if we don't obey him, if we don't keep his commandments. Do you agree with that? Say amen. We can't sit here and say, oh, I love the Lord with all my heart, but we don't obey his word.
And so it literally is based on that principle. And it comes all the way down to where we're finally talking about hating a brother or hating a person or having resentment towards a person. We have to understand that we're basing that on feelings. But what we should be basing it on is this. If I love God, I've got to obey his word.
And that's what makes the difference.
So I want you to notice, number one, just some observations from this passage. And I don't want to read the whole thing again. But notice, number one, notice the reason for the resentment is not given.
Now, look at verse 9. It says, He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother. Look at verse 11. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness.
Now, let me make this very clear. We're never told in this passage why. This person hated his brother. We're not told what happened.
So what is the principle here?
Well, you and I have to understand, we can't just sit here and say, listen, you shouldn't have resentment towards somebody unless they do such and such. Right.
Well then I'm justified. You see, there was never any reason given for the resentment. The scriptural principle is this: if you hate your brother, have resentment towards an individual, you're walking in darkness. If you love your brother, you're walking in the light. It doesn't matter the reason for the resentment, it doesn't even come down to what they did because it's not about them and it's not about you.
It's about Christ.
So, the reason for the resentment here is never given. We're not told that, well, he hated him because he did this. And may I say, God doesn't tell us that because we don't need to know that. It doesn't really matter what somebody may have or haven't done to you. What matters now It's how you react towards it.
Notice number two, we see the principle of forgiveness is not new. Notice what he says here in verse 7: Brethren.
So we're talking brethren here. I write no new commandment unto you. But an old commandment which ye had from the beginning. This isn't new. It's not like all of a sudden, oh, I didn't know I was supposed to forgive.
I didn't know that I'm not supposed to hate my brother. No, it's not new. Notice what he says: the old commandment is the word which you had from the beginning. This isn't new. And just because something has happened in your life now that has thrown you for a loop.
It doesn't mean now that we don't have to acknowledge God's word.
Now, let me tell you something about us Baptist. We are really good. at using the Word of God in other people's lives.
Well let me tell you why you're wrong. The Bible says But we are horrible. at using it for ourselves. That's good. Notice number three, the principle of forgiveness is not natural.
Look at verse 8. Again. A new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true in him and in you. Because the darkness is past. In the true light.
Now shines. This isn't going to come natural for you. Because darkness is our flesh. That's what comes naturally. What naturally comes is somebody did this, this is why I'm mad at them.
Somebody did this, somebody injured me, somebody did me wrong, somebody treated me wrong, somebody said whatever the case might be. And so our natural reaction might end up being resentment, but this. Principle of forgiveness doesn't come natural. That's the natural is to not forgive, but a True light now shineth.
Now we have the truth.
Now we have what is supposed to happen. It doesn't come natural. And may I say this, resentment is not I don't ever want to preach up here in a way that you would feel as a listener that I'm sitting here saying, what is your problem? Why do you have resentment? Of all things, you must be an absolute idiot.
No, no, no, no, no. Can I tell you it's the absolute opposite of that? I fully understand. why some people feel resentment. Why, how it can happen.
I've been there, done that, bought a t-shirt, horrible t-shirt, and none of my t-shirts fit now. But anyway, that's another whole story. But the principle of forgiveness is not a natural one. Number four. Just because we say it doesn't mean it's true.
Oh yeah, I think it's Bigger verse 4. He that saith, I know him speaking of the Lord. and keepeth not his commandments is a liar. Yeah Just because you say it doesn't mean you are. Notice, if you would, here in verse 9: he that saith he is in the light.
and hateth his brother. is in darkness. Just because you say it doesn't mean it's true. Just because you say, well, hey, I'm right with God doesn't mean you are right with God. Just because you say, well, hey, listen, it doesn't even matter what we say about ourselves or even what we think about ourselves.
What matters is what God sees. in our life. You might say you're in the light, but you might be in darkness. You might say you love God, but you're not even obeying His Word. And we've got to be gut honest with ourselves.
about this subject. Notice number five. And these principles are very clear in this passage. I think it's great. Number five is this: this is not about loving your enemy.
It is about loving God. No, you've got to get this principle tonight. with this matter of resentment. It's resentment and fixing resentment is not about you loving your enemy. That's really not the the priority of this.
The priority of this is you loving God. Look at this passage. Look at verse 4. He that saith, I know him and keepeth not his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his word, in him, verily, is the love of God.
Perfected. Hereby know we that we know him. Let me tell you how we know God is when we love God. And we know we love God because we obey His Word.
So, this isn't about you trying to somehow learn to love your enemy, this is about you and me learning to love God. We don't get rid of resentment. and choose to forgive because we love our enemy. That's right. It's good.
That's just not going to happen. We do this so that the love of God can be perfected in us. May I say this? You're going to struggle with the resentment your entire life if you think that the pitiful point here is that you've got to learn to love your enemy. No, no, no, no.
This goes way deeper. It's about us loving God. It's about us wanting to do what we do because we love God. It doesn't matter about the person. It doesn't matter whether they deserve it, whether they don't deserve it, whether they've ever gotten right with us, whether they've apologized or whether they haven't apologized.
It has nothing to do with that. It's not about my love for them, it's about my love for God. And that's the root of this. Number six. Please write this down.
Resentment is based on a lie. Resentment. In its nature, it is based on a lie. Let me explain. Look at verse 8.
Again, a new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true. True. In him and in you. Because the darkness has passed and the true, notice, the true light now shineth. You see, God wants you to get rid of resentment in your life.
And he wants you to get rid of it because of the truth. You know, you and I, why does resentment happen in our life?
Well, because somebody did me wrong. That's right. But why does resentment end up settling? Because somehow we believe this thing that as long as I keep resenting them, They're not going to get a free pass. As long as I still have resentment, they're going to pay.
As long as I don't let this go, I mean, if I forgive them and I let this go, they're going to get away scot-free. And they're never going to answer for it. That, dear friend, is a lie. It's a lie, but oftentimes resentment is based on a lie. If I stay mad at him, This will hurt them.
No, dear friend. If you stay mad at them, it's going to hurt you. We have a true light now shining. The truth is in him and you now. Notice this verse.
You see, Satan's going to tell you a lie. Satan knows that if resentment builds and it harbors in your life, he's convinced you that that's going to work somehow. He's convinced you that you're still holding them accountable. And that's just a lie of Satan. Resentment.
is based On a lie. And it's a lie that Satan has told you. Number seven. This is Our last one before we talk about the answer to these issues, but notice number seven. And and let me just say Resentment is a thought that turns into a lifestyle.
Resentment is a thought. That turns into a lifestyle. Preacher, please explain this one, okay? Notice verse 9. He that saith he is in the light and hateth his brother is in darkness.
Now what does the next phrase say? Even until now.
So, what happened in an instance has turned into a lifestyle. This person did it. But you have been in darkness even until now. Notice, if you would, look at verse 10. He that loveth his brother.
loveth his brother, abideth In the light. That means it's a that's what's where you that's where you that's your lifestyle, abiding in the light. Notice this, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother, notice this. is in darkness And Walketh in darkness.
What does that mean? A person that has resentment not only is in darkness now, but they're going to be in darkness later. It's now and the future. Notice what he said: you were injured. This person did you wrong, but you have now been in darkness, even until now.
It's turned into a lifestyle, it's turned into something that is just part of you now. It has become such a habit. To have this resentment, to feel this resentment, to put up those prison bars, as Proverbs 18 says. It's become such a lifestyle now to keep people out, to keep yourself in, to guard yourself, to have these feelings, to have this resentment, to literally create this space. I'm the victim.
They're the ones that it literally, it was a one-time thing, or it happened here, but it's turned into a lifestyle in your life. You see, we're all going to have bad days, and we're all going to have things that happen that knock us for a loop. The problem is when it becomes a lifestyle. The problem is when we stay there. And this hatred brought darkness into the life, but now they're walking in it.
Now they can't go through life. without it. Let me give you this last principle. It's actually number eight. But I think in the outlines I gave John, I've got two number sevens.
I was trying to get lucky. And I thought that was funny. I just thought of that. Nobody, okay. Please get this.
Resentment clouds your ability. to have discernment. clouds your ability to have discernment. I have not made one statement up here tonight that I cannot back up with a verse. Look at verse 9.
He that saith he is in the light and hateth his brother is in darkness.
Look at verse 10. He that loveth his brother abideth in light, and there is none occasion of stumbling. Look at verse 11. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness.
And walketh in darkness. Look at it. and knoweth not Whither he goeth, because darkness Hath blinded his eyes. Can I say something when you allow, you and I allow resentment to harbor in our life. It blocks our ability to have discernment.
We're now blind. That resentment will blind us. It'll get to the point that we're not going to make good decisions. It'll get to the point that we won't do the right kind of things. I mean, it's to the point that we can't discern what I should do here and what I shouldn't do there.
Because resentment has become such a part of my life. That now It's blinded me. I don't even know. It says, this person doesn't know whither he goeth. Doesn't know what's going on.
May I say something? The greatest tool that a Christian has is discernment. Discernment is your ability. to determine right from wrong. What you should do and shouldn't do, what you should say and shouldn't say.
Everything in your life is built around discernment. And we've got to get discernment wisdom from God. But resentment hides that, it blocks it. The darkness comes in and just literally gets us to the point that we just don't know what to do. We don't know where we should go.
And now, all of a sudden, we're making very bad decisions. decisions. I've seen this happen. A person gets resentment towards somebody. What are they going to do?
Well, preacher, I think I need to do this now. I've seen people get out of church because of resentment.
Well, I just need to, you know, I'm tired of going to church with hypocrites.
Well, you still go to Walmart. That's right. There's hypocrites everywhere you go. Resentment. ruins your discernment.
All of a sudden, now you'll make decisions that alter your life. That are horrible decisions. But it's because you have no discernment, and you have no discernment. Because we're harmoring Resentment. Listen, I'm not saying it's fun, but if you understand from the Bible what I've said tonight, would you say amen?
It's true, isn't it? Aren't you glad that God's word doesn't just give an assessment, but it gives us answers? Let's look at what he says. The answer for our condition. Number one, I want you to notice.
In verse 9, number 1 is realize. You need to come to a realization about something, and first is this: realize. that resentment is a sin. Resentment. is a sin.
He that saith he is in the light and hateth his brother. In darkness. Listen it. It's not fun to hear. Wait a minute, this person said Sinned.
did wrong to me, this is why I feel like this. Yes. But you allowing yourself to stay there has turned into sin in your life. You and I need to realize this: this isn't a grudge we need to get over, it's a sin that is hurting our life. Resentment can hurt your relationship with God.
Resentment can hurt your relationship with your family, with your husband, with your wife. It can hurt relationships with people at church. It can hurt your relationship with people at work. Resentment can literally flood almost every area of your life. It's a sin that has to be dealt with.
And you and I need to realize that. This is about light and darkness.
Okay, number two. We need to repent. First, we need to realize. Second, we need to repent, which means this: ask God to forgive you. For your resentment.
He's like, well, I don't even know if I'm ready to let go of it yet. That's okay. The first step is to acknowledge that it is a sin. God? I don't know that I can help how I feel right now, but I know it's wrong.
And I'm asking you to forgive me.
Now, notice the first part of the passage that we read, he gives these principles before even talking about hating your brother. God knows how this can get to you. Look at verse 1: My little children, these things write unto you, that ye sin not. He's like, I'm writing you these things so that you can keep sin from coming into your life, so you can stop this before it starts. But, Thank God for this verse.
Look what he says. And if any man sin We have an advocate. With the Father. Jesus Christ the righteous. Jesus Christ the righteous is our advocate with God the Father.
And it means this: listen, I've given you my word, he says, so that you don't sin. But if you do sin, we have an advocate. It's not, okay, you do sin. We're done with you. No, we have an advocate.
Jesus Christ became our advocate. Notice what it says here. And he is the propitiation for our sins and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world. It means this. We've got to recognize first and foremost, we got to realize that resentment is sin.
And second, we need to repent. We need to admit it. And we need to go to our advocate, Jesus Christ, and say, I shouldn't feel this way. It's wrong.
Now, what they did is wrong, but the way I'm feeling, the way I'm harboring this is wrong also. And I can't ask you to forgive them. That's their business. But God, I'm asking you to forgive me.
Okay, number three, we have to refuel. Say, what do you mean by that? Look at verse 1. My little children, these things I write unto you that ye sin not. What are these things?
What things did Jesus write unto us? A little hint here. It's called the what? It's called the Bible. Look, if you would, at verse 5.
But whoso keepeth his word In him verily is the love of God perfected. Hereby know we that we are in Him. What do you mean, refuel? Refuel, get back in God's Word. Can I tell you the best thing you need to do for resentment in your life is to get into the Bible.
And here's what I'm going to tell you: resentment and reading the Bible don't go real well together. Odds are, if you're harboring resentment, you don't really just enjoy reading your Bible. And it just might be that you've really gotten out of the habit of reading it at all. Right.
No. It's just the way it works. Because it's impossible to read the Bible and not be convicted about resentment.
So, what you've got to do is, I've got to realize it's a sin, I've got to repent, but I've got to refuel, I've got to get back in God's Word. Listen. There will be no further help with you getting rid of resentment if you're not in the Bible. We got to start there. First step: get back in the Bible.
Get back in the Bible. You need the word. He says, I've written you these things that ye sin not. It's here. We need this.
You've got to get in the word of God. Number four. And well, let me say this before we go on to number four. I came up with this phrase. And I'm very proud of myself about it.
And I say that in all humility. I'm very proud of myself for. That was a joke, by the way. Please get this. I have a statement and I wanted to give it to you here.
Be more impacted by what God said than what people have done. You and I have got to get to the point in our life that we're more impacted by what God has said. than what people do.
So we've got to get back in the Word of God. You know what's interesting? You and I are more impacted by what somebody says or does to us than we are by what God has said to us. We're more impacted by what somebody else has done than what God's done for us. Hey, I don't know about you, whatever.
The greatest news that anyone can receive is the news of the free gift of salvation found in Jesus Christ. It is our desire for you to know him personally. Would you take a moment to hear this today? Every man is born with a sin nature. Romans three twenty three says For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.
No matter how hard we try, we're not good enough to obtain God's glory. or to get to heaven. Because of that, sin carries the penalty of death. Romans 6.23 says, For the wages of sin is death. But the gift of God is eternal life.
through Jesus Christ our Lord. The wages of our sin, or the payment of our sin, only equals death and separation from God. But it's only through God's gift salvation through Jesus Christ that we can accept him as our Saviour. Jesus Christ paid for your sin debt. The Bible says in Romans 5:8, But God commendeth his love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
All you have to do is receive Christ. by faith as your Saviour. Romans ten nine says That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Verse 13 continues, For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. It's as simple as admitting that you're a sinner believing that Jesus is the only way.
and calling upon his name. Bible says whosoever that's anyone can call upon the name of the Lord to be saved. Have you accepted Christ as your personal Savior? There is no greater day than today to take care of this. Would you accept Christ as your Savior?
If you have any questions, please give us a call at 336-993-5192 or visit our website at Kerwin Baptist Church. Dot com. or visits that person at one of our three service times. We hope you have a great rest of your day. God bless you.
Mm-hmm.
