The Acid of Anger

Welcome to this weekend's In Touch Podcast with Charles Stanley. Is there something bothering you that you just can't quite put your finger on? It may be the presence of unresolved resentment. Today's lesson in our study of 1 Samuel reveals how to neutralize the acid of anger. Would you please turn to 1 Samuel chapter 18?

1 Samuel chapter 18. And it came to pass when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that's David and Saul talking now, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father's house. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword.

and to his bow and to his girdle. And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely. And Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul's servants. And it came to pass, as they came, when David was returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel, singing and dancing to meet King Saul with tabrays, with joy, and with instruments of music. And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.

And Saul was very wroth or angry. And the saying displeased him, and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands. And what can he have more but the kingdom? That is, is that next? And Saul eyed David from that day and forward.

And it came to pass on the morrow that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the midst of the house, and David played with his hand, as at other times, and there was a javelin in Saul's hand. And Saul cast the javelin, for he said, I will smite David even to the wall with it. And David avoided out of his presence twice. And Saul was afraid of David, because the Lord was with him, and was departed from Saul.

Now, anger is a universal problem and one that God deals with. I want us to look at this passage of Scripture and answer some very, very pointed questions that I believe every believer needs to examine when it comes to handling the emotion of anger. David has just killed Goliath. And he's returned to Saul with the head of Goliath in his hand. And the scripture says that when David came back, And he was honored because of this tremendous victory that all the women in Israel came out singing and playing on their musical instruments.

And probably without any real intention of doing this, they said, Saul. has slain his thousands. In their thinking, I'm sure because of the tremendous display of the miraculous power of God, but David has killed his 10,000s. And all of a sudden, there rose up in Saul a tremendous sense of jealousy. A jealousy that immediately spawned anger and resentment and bitterness.

and aggression and hostility. And that hostility and aggression and anger and resentment all zeroed in on one young man called David. And the scripture says, If you'll notice in verse 8, Saul was angry, and the saying displeased him. Verse 9: And Saul eyed David from that day forward. And verse 10 says, It came to pass in the morning that the evil spirit came upon him.

And verse 11 says, And Saul cast the javelin. And he said, I will smite David to the wall. What an amazing. Expression of anger. That the king of Israel, anointed by God himself, that king could be willing to throw a javelin and pin that young man to the wall, that is, murder him in his own household.

But I want to tell you something. There are Christians today, as well as lost people today, who are tossing, throwing. aiming javelins, verbal javelins at people to pin them to the wall. To destroy their reputation, to annihilate and assassinate their character. Why?

Because anger, like acid, boils and fumes within them, and oftentimes they do not even know that they're angry.

Now, first of all, let's talk about Let's talk about this matter. Let's just examine anger for a few moments. What is anger? Anger Is a sudden feeling of displeasure and antagonism. Toward what we assume to be an irritating factor.

It can be an environment, a situation, or a person in our life. a sudden inner displeasure that begins to engulf the person who's feeling it.

Now, the capacity or the all-inclusiveness of that engulfment depends upon our ability to react properly toward the thing that is making us angry. But now, let me tell you something. The most dangerous. The most dangerous kind of anger is unconscious anger. That is anger, that is.

Brooding and burning and acid-like on the inside, and we don't even know it's there. We are angry at our situation in life. We don't like our circumstances. We don't like this job. We don't know what to do with our children.

We don't like the world situation. We don't like the economy. We get angry. And let me tell you something. You cannot be sensitive to the needs of a person toward whom you are angry.

You can't do it. Because anger encases you in your own compartmental wall. Anger makes it impossible for you to be sensitive to other people's needs. And this is why husbands and wives and teenagers and the gap between the young and the old, we say, Well, well, we don't understand. And sometimes a father, or a mother becomes very angry toward their children.

Therefore, they become insensitive to their needs. Therefore, they can't talk their language. They can't feel the frustrations that kid feels. And so, what happens? Their anger builds up a distance between them, and somehow they're insensitive to them, and then they begin to lash out, and their anger, and their bitterness, and their resentment begins to build.

They begin to criticize their children, and what do you have? You have a tremendous, horrible split in a family, and most people don't even realize it all began with anger. I'm not getting my way with my kids. I want them to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I don't get my way, so I'm angry.

There are many parents today who've been angry with their parents. Many teenagers who were angry told their parents. Anger. When it is subconscious, you see, sometimes you can find the sweetest, little gentlest person, and if you pull the top off them, it'd just be like a volcano, it'd just blow sky high. Why?

because they're suppressing their anger.

Now Let's look at this matter of righteous indignation. You say, well, now, is all anger bad? All anger is not bad, because if all anger were bad, Jesus would have been bad, and so would God. Because the Bible is filled with verses of Scripture that speaks of God's anger and wrath toward the wickedness of man. You say, well, you mean I can get angry and it'd be legitimate.

Well, that depends on what kind of anger you have.

Now, Let's look at Jesus because when he walked into the temple after he'd braided him a nice long cord and he began to sling that thing around, when he walked into that temple, I mean he moved that just like the strong man that he was. He started to heal somebody one day on the Sabbath day, and the scripture says he turned to those and he said to them, Why are you angry? And he expressed anger toward their resentment toward him for healing a man on the Sabbath day. When you turn to the 23rd chapter of Matthew, there is no more scathing. Passage of scripture in all the Bible, the 23rd chapter of Matthew.

I mean, for the whole chapter, he just pours it on the Pharisees and the Sadducees.

Well, he doesn't speak in kind, gentle little words.

Well, you fellas are all just a bunch of hypocrites and so forth. I mean, he poured it on them.

Now. You say, well, that makes me feel pretty good because that's the way I do when I get angry. But no, wait a minute. The scripture says, Ephesians, look at that. You ought to mark that one down because next time you get angry and you get to justifying it, the other part of that passage is.

Verse 26, Ephesians 4: Be ye angry and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Jesus didn't go to bed that night like you go to bed when you're angry. boiling, churning, taking a pill so he can sleep. He says, Don't let the sun go down on your anger.

Now, what was Jesus expressing when he was expressing that anger? He was expressing righteous indignation. There may be many names for it, but the simple name is: he was upset. He was angry.

Now If you're going to express righteous anger, there must be several things that you'll have to check up on to see if you have them. And I get this down. Number one, his anger was controlled. Uh Now listen. There are times when we ought to get upset.

When we ought to be angry. when we ought to be able to express toward that which is evil. And that which is unrighteous, we ought to be able to express righteous indignation. But it is not an uncontrollable lose-your-head kind of anger. It is controlled, deliberate, directed, spirit-controlled anger.

The second thing, not only controlled, But it must be anger without resentment. Here's what you did to me. Here's what I'm going to do in your return. You see, anger that is retaliation. Anger that is a, here's my cause.

Anger that is toward someone else, a resentment toward people. A caustic bitterness that grows and boils, and like acid, it just fumes and fumes and fumes. Listen. That kind of anger, my friend, will eat you up on the inside and literally destroy you as a person. Righteous indignation is controlled anger.

Righteous indignation knows no resentment. Righteous indignation is unselfish. It is not anger because somebody has wronged you. And most Christians express that kind of anger. And I'll tell you, my friend, that is illegitimate.

That is pure sin. He says, put away that kind of anger. And then the fourth thing. That is essential here is that it must not be against people. You see, now we can see people do or say things, and we can become very angry at the act.

We can become very angry at the situation. We can become angry at the circumstance they create. While we are loving that dear brother, we can become very, very angry.

So when you become angry towards someone else, Unless it is controlled. Unless it is unselfish, unless it is without resentment. Unless your anger has those characteristics. And you know that it is not against people. My friend, that anger is absolute sin, spelled S-I-N.

You say, but you don't know what they've done to me that has absolutely nothing to do with it. Listen, watch this. You may say that's what I'm angry at I've been mistreated. I've been done in. But I want to show you the problem.

If you don't deal with anger and hostility properly, It'll float on you. Let me give you an example. Right in this passage. in chapter um Saul and Jonathan are having a conversation. Verse thirty.

Then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan. And he said to him, Now listen, his anger was kindled against David because These women were praising.

Now his anger is kindled against Jonathan, and he said to him, Thou son of the perverse, rebellious woman. Do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse? to thine own confusion and to the confusion of thy mother's nakedness. And they said, watch this. A perfect example of what uncontrolled anger does.

It not only will zero in on the thing out there that really irritates you at the beginning, but when you can't get your way and you keep on expressing resentment, hostility, and bitterness out there because it does not relieve you, what happens? Then you find something a little closer that you can be critical and sarcastic and gossip about. I want to tear down somebody else. As you asked Saul, do you love Jonathan? Sure, I love Jonathan.

But his anger and his hostility. And his jealousy, and his pride, and his arrogance, and his resentment. and his bitterness toward David destroyed his own home. Here they are talking. And so verse 32, And Jonathan answered Saul his father and said to him, Wherefore shall he be slain?

Why do you want to kill David? What hath he done? And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him. Whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father to stay. In other words, here's what he's saying.

You see. Jonathan knew that his father's anger had reached such a pinnacle of explosion when he picked up that javelin and threw it at his own son. The scripture says that Jonathan knew who he was really throwing it at was at David.

Now, my friend, listen, that ought to say something to us very loudly and very clearly. That if you do not deal with your anger properly and quickly, sometimes you will destroy and drive out and separate the ones you love the very, very most because you can't deal with your anger. Here he was trying to pin his own son to the wall, not because he was that angry at his son. But you see his anger and bitterness toward David. He transferred to his own.

Sun.

Now, what I'm going to show you in just a moment here. Is how to deal with anger. How does a Christian deal with anger? First of all, You confess it. That is, you're willing to acknowledge and express it in three directions.

First of all, to God, Lord. I am angry, and I know I'm angry. I've got hostility, I've got bitterness, I've got resentment, I've got jealousy, I've got pride, I've got all the rest of it. It's in my heart, and I'm just angry. Secondly, I must be willing to confess it to myself.

Now, listen. There is a fine line here between being honest with God and being honest with yourself. You can tell God something and never be honest with yourself about it at all. To confess it myself, I must be willing to say, Lord, I am angry. Within me, I am expressing anger.

I'm feeling anger. I know that I'm angry inside. You see, got to be willing to acknowledge it to myself. I am angry, and Lord, here is the reason I'm angry. Or Lord, I don't know why I am, but I know I am, and I need you to help me to get over this matter of being angry.

I must confess it to him. I must confess it to myself. And the third thing is this. And that is, you've got to be willing to forgive those who are responsible.

Now, let me tell you how to do that. You get by yourself. Or if you've got some counselor, somebody you can trust, and if you've got somebody else with you, you have an extra chair and make it an empty chair. And if it's your father, You don't go to him, you seat him in the chair.

Now he's not really there, but in your mind he's there. And you tell him that you really forgive him. for programming into your life. Low self-esteem. that I won't ever measure up.

that I won't ever amount anything. That I'm a nobody. that really don't count. that physically I'm too thin or too fat. I'm ignorant and I'm not a good student.

And all you forgive him. As you trace back the things that have contributed to what you're feeling, you put everybody in that chair. that God brings to your mind and you forgive them For their part. in contributing to whatever you're having to deal with in your life. And let me say one other little thing.

There are times when anger can become so deeply rooted and so entrenched in the human life. That sometimes you may need help. beyond just confession. to help you to be able to trace it all back. and get it at its very root.

And let me say one last thing. I know people who are angry toward their mother. or their father. to the people they work with. to the people they associate with, their friends, their social acquaintances.

But I know just like you know that there are some people who are angry at God. Come to church. to read the Bible. They sing hymns, they pray. And everything is just sweet.

But deep down inside it's all acid. Is there anything in your life you'd like to blame God for? Let me ask you something. Do you think it's possible? That one of the reasons for the frustration of your heart is that you're angry.

You say, well, how do I get rid of my anger toward God? Tell him about it. Don't hold back anything. Just confess it to him and tell him that you want him to take it out of your heart. And if you need some help to discuss it with somebody, he'll send somebody your way to help you to be able to trace back the root cause of why.

You are angry at God. But listen. Anger with your brother. will keep you out of fellowship with God. Anger toward God will keep you out of fellowship with Him.

And I want to encourage you this morning. If you've never trusted Jesus Christ as your Savior, take the first step. And you willn't accept His Son, Jesus Christ, as your Savior. You want Him to deal with your anger, you don't know how to deal with it. But you're willing for him to deal with your heart.

God will take the first step towards you. if you'll allow him to deal with your anger. Father, we thank you for loving us. Thank you that you don't get angry with your children. You watch us almost destroy our lives and wreck and ruin the great, wonderful things that you've sent our way.

Because we can't control that emotion called anger. Let it become bitterness and resentfulness and an aggressive attack upon others. Help us to understand. That to live with that on the inside of us is like walking around with a timed bomb. One of these days, it's going off.

Help us to be willing to face you. Mm. And to settle that. Yeah. And we'll thank you for that in Jesus' name.

Thank you for listening to today's podcast titled The Acid of Anger. If you'd like to know more about Charles Stanley or In Touch Ministries, stop by intouch.org. This podcast is a presentation of InTouch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia.