Welcome to the In Touch podcast with Charles Stanley for Thursday, July 24th. Many people think loneliness simply means being alone. But that's not always the case. Today, you'll learn about this powerful emotion and how you can be free from its grip. Loneliness is one of the most painful.
experiences of life. It is a pressure of life. With which many of you have to deal. And all of us have had to deal with it at some point, probably, in our life. Is someone you've lived with for years and years and years?
You've loved them and they love you and all of a sudden Death is final and it's all over. And you know that until you get to heaven, you'll never see them again. That can create awesome loneliness. Then there is divorce. You're two people who love each other.
have a great sense of intimacy with each other, and their object of their attention, their focus, is on the one person they love. All of their world was wrapped up in that person, and suddenly their world came apart. I want to remind you of something. If your world Is any person in anything but the person of Jesus Christ? You're going to get disappointed.
People that God sends into your life, in my life, are husbands and wives and children, as absolutely essential as they are. They still cannot be our world. Jesus and Jesus alone can satisfy the hunger and the thirst of a human heart. Do you know one of the primary reasons that so many people are lonely, and this is why it's so subtle. They say, Well, you know, I'm married to my wife or my husband, and we get along and.
Got wonderful children and Yet, deep down inside, oftentimes there is hostility and anger and bitterness, resentment toward things that happened in their past or on the job or somewhere in a relationship outside the home. Think about this. When your mind and your emotions, when you're experiencing hostility and anger, and alienation and rejection. What you do is you build walls. And whenever you build a wall to shut someone out, Remember this, that you've shut yourself in.
And when you build walls to shut everybody out, You've shut yourself up. all by yourself. And one of the primary reasons that some people are lonely and can't quite put their finger on it is anger, hostility, bitterness, resentment, and unforgiving spirit. Things that you hold toward others that shut them out. And no matter if everybody else in the world loves you.
If your heart's full of anger and bitterness, resentment, hostility, and all the rest. you're still going to suffer because you see you're alienated. And something about that is very, very traumatic. One of the reasons that we suffer loneliness is sin. Because you see, sin immediately does something to my relationship and to my intimacy with the Father.
It doesn't foul up my relationship with Him, that's always the same. saved once and for ever for good. But my intimacy is like it is torn apart when you and I sin against God. And so we feel it. And we try to fill it up with something else and nothing else will fill that place.
When sin enters the life, something happens to a person's intimacy with the Father. And that also Begins to affect a person's own sense of self-respect and self-esteem and self-image. You see, one of the devil's lies is this. You can sin. Look, the judgment isn't coming after you.
God's not going to wipe you out. I want to remind you of something. More than likely, most of the consequences of sin are internal More so than external. Everybody else in the world may think you're getting along fine. But if you're living in sin and disobeying God, internally, the destructive consequences are going on and on and on.
And one of those is an alienation in your feelings toward God. Or you feel that he's alienated toward you, that he's separated himself from you, when he really hasn't. But that's what happens to a person's feelings. That's the destructive power of sin in a person's life.
Now, there are probably a thousand more reasons why people suffer loneliness and But the big important question is this, how do we overcome it? I want you to turn, if you will, to Romans chapter 5, and I want to give you five steps. And these five steps may appear to be simple, but I want to say to you first of all. Do I know they work? They work for me.
I know they work for many other people. They will work. If you're willing to apply these five simple truths to your life, no matter what your circumstance or situation, God will enable you to overcome your loneliness.
Now it begins with reconciliation to God through Christ. All Overcoming of loneliness begins with reconciliation with God through Christ.
Now, you say, what does that mean?
Well, let's look at this verse and then we'll define it. In the fifth chapter of Romans, verse 10. Paul says, For while we were enemies, alienated, separated, under condemnation. He says, For if while we were enemies, We were reconciled. To God.
Through the death of his son. Much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.
Now what does the word reconciliation mean? To be reconciled means that which was alienated and separated. That which was either hostile or whatever it might have been is now brought back into harmony and communion. That is, the fellowship has been restored. When you trusted the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, here's what happened.
You confessed your sins. You expressed your faith in the shed blood of Jesus Christ and His death at Calvary. And the moment you did that, God the Father forgave you of all your sin. Not only did he forgive you of all of your sin, but the Bible says that he did what? He reconciled you.
He brought you back into this intimate relationship. You are no longer alienated and detached, no longer an enemy, no longer separated, but now.
Now you have been brought back into oneness with Him. Even when a child of God sins against God and is being disciplined by God, He does not intend that you and I feel condemned by Him. You and I have been reconciled to him. Reconciliation is the first step because that's where it all broke down.
So if you intend to overcome your loneliness, And you intend to feel fulfilled and contentment and real, genuine, lasting happiness, and joy and peace, it begins with getting right with God through the person of Jesus Christ with a confession of your sins, trusting His death at Calvary as payment for your sin, and surrendering your life to Him. That's reconciliation God brings you back. But step number two. Step number two is to remember the promises of God.
Now what are those promises? I want you to turn to a verse of scripture in John John chapter 16. Listen to this. Here's a wonderful verse. And my friend, no matter what you may be suffering in the area of loneliness, listen to this.
Verse 32 of John 16. Behold, an hour is coming. and has already come. For you to be scattered.
Now, this is the night before he's going to be crucified. each to his own home, and to leave me alone. And yet, I am not alone. Because the Father is with me. No matter What's going on in your life?
You have the privilege of saying the same thing. Listen to this. I am not alone. Because the Father is with me. In fact, you can go one step further.
You can not only say, I am not alone because the Father is with me, you can say, And I have Christ. Living on the inside of me. What is Paul's favorite term? in Christ. And Christ in us.
You see, When we choose not to abide by our feelings, but to live by the truth, what is the truth? The truth is that once you trust Jesus Christ as your Savior, You can never be alone. At all under any circumstance for the rest of eternity. Listen, I didn't say for years or for your life on earth, for the rest of eternity. Once you receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, all the aloneness is over with.
What does he say? He says in Hebrews chapter. Twelve. Or thirteen. He says verse 5.
I'll never forsake you. I'll never leave you nor forsake you. Never. No one else in the world can promise you that I'll never leave you nor forsake you. Look back in John 14.
You recall when. Again, in the upper room, when he's talking to his disciples, and he knows what's going to happen. That he's going to be betrayed that night. They're going to be fearful. They're going to be scattered, as he said a few moments ago.
But listen to what he says to them. In verse 16 of chapter 14 of John. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another helper, that he may be with you forever. How long? Forever.
That is the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold him and know him. But you know him because he abides with you and will be where? in you. And look at this next verse. I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.
Do you realize the commitment that God has made to every single one of us? Here's His commitment. And we talk about our commitment to Him, listen to this commitment. God the Father Who is omnipotent, which means he has all power to do anything he wants to do. Omniscient, all-knowing, omnipresent, everything is in his presence.
Here's what he says: he says, I promise you. I promise you. That I will never No, never. No, never. No, never Forsake you, or or leave you from the moment of your salvation.
Throughout eternity future, which is an endless Eternity. Endless in time. There is no point in your future, at any point, under any condition, in any circumstance, where you will ever be alone again. Never. You say, but I feel so lonely.
Which brings me to the next point. And that is Number three. Begin responding to your circumstances on the basis of truth, not feeling.
Now listen. Loneliness is an emotion, it is a feeling that you and I can control. We are not subject to, we're not helpless, we're not slaves to loneliness. These are feelings which we can bring under control. And how do we overcome loneliness?
By responding to those feelings of loneliness by the truth. The truth is, I am not alone. Christ is living within me. Like Jesus, I can say, The Father is with me.
So, I'm to respond to my circumstances on the basis of who He is in me, and the Bible says He has made us complete. Complete in him, you say, but I want physical contact, I want to touch somebody, I want somebody to touch me. My friend, God will send into your life. Listen, when you get things right between you and God, And you begin to claim the promises of God and you begin to respond to the circumstances of life, God will send you what you need. It may not be exactly who you think it ought to be, it may not be exactly what you think you need, but Almighty God, who promised never to leave you, has promised to supply every single one of your needs.
He's promised to do it on time, he's never late. And he's promised a supplied in a way. It will bring you contentment and a sense of fulfillment. How could the Bible ever say when you have Christ, you have it all, we are complete in Him. Either Jesus' promises are real, practical, applicable, make the difference.
Oh, we ought to close the book. And my friend, we can never close the book because too many of us have learned. He'll do exactly what he says he'll do.
So, number three is to respond to my circumstances on the basis of the truth. Listen, identify the feelings, and remember. You don't have to yield to the feeling. Loneliness is a feeling that you can bring under control by choosing to respond by faith to the truth, not the feeling. Step number four.
If you're undergoing loneliness, here's what to overcome it. All of these are important. You can't just pick out one. And that is Reach out. and begin to build a bridge of friendship with one person.
At least one person. Just reach out to one person and begin to build a bridge of friendship. And you say, how do you do that?
Well, Remember this. Christ who is within you. Christ who is within you, the Spirit of God living within you. He will enable you. Does He not say, I will guide you with my eye?
I will teach you in the way which you shall go. When God knows that you want to build a relationship, God will send someone into your life.
Now he may say to you, Speak to that person. Go see that person. Show your heart. In other words, God will show you how to do it. You just purpose to build a relationship with one person.
And what you're doing is you're building a bridge. You may feel like it's one of those swinging bridges for you because you feel so incapable of building relationships, and you feel your self-image is sort of waning, and you think, oh, how can I build a bridge? It may be like a tightrope to you. Build it. It won't take but one.
And God will begin to open the door of your heart, and something will happen to that loneliness. But step number five is very important: refocus your attention off yourself, onto someone else, and begin to serve other people. You see, part of the problem with loneliness is our focus gets inward. Refocus your attention. Begin to look out for someone who is in need, someone whom you can serve.
Now, I know what you're saying, you're saying. Oh, but I'm the one who's in need. I'm the one who's hurting. I hurt so badly. How in the world can I help someone else when I'm the one who's hurting so badly and I'm the one who feels alienated and I'm the one who's shut out and I'm the one who needs some friendship?
When you refocus your attention from self to other people and you begin to reach out to serve them, you know what God's going to do? He's going to drive that loneliness out of you. with a fullness That comes as a result of building bridges, relationships, and intimacy with other people.
So think about it. First of all, to be reconciled to Him by faith in Jesus Christ, which restores you. him. Secondly, to remember those wonderful promises. The Father is with you.
I'll never leave you nor forsake you. I'll not leave you comfortless. I'm coming to you. I'm abiding in you. I'm living within you.
Responding to those circumstances, not on the basis of your feelings, but on the basis of the truth. of who's living within you and who's made you sufficient. and who's promised to meet your needs. Reaching out to just one to build that first relationship. and refocusing your attention on somebody to serve, rather than someone else to serve you.
and your loneliness will begin to dissipate. I think I still remember the most lonely person I've ever met. It was in my first church, and this lady lived up on the top of a mountain. And She lived there for years and years and years with her husband and her two children who were now teenagers. And the husband passed away.
And the children went to school. And I remember before she was saved, what she would tell me when I would try to witness to her, she would say.
Something like this. I feel so alone. She says, it's almost like the loneliness is thick. And she went on to describe this awful feeling that she had every day. of being up there She was separated.
She was alienated. She was shut off and cut off. But then One Sunday morning, she gave her heart to Jesus Christ, her daughter had first, and then her son. And then I can remember one Sunday morning when she walked out sometime after that. That wasn't a lot of time, it had passed.
And she pulled me over the side because she wanted to tell me this. She said, I want to tell you something. Big beam smile from ear to ear. She says, I'm not lonely anymore. And she went on to tell me how she said, you know, Get up in the morning.
She says, I just talk to Jesus. She says, I talk to Jesus and feed the cows. I talk to Jesus and feed the hogs. I talk to Jesus and feed the chickens. She says, I'm talking to Jesus and cleaning up.
She says, I'm not lonely anymore. Nothing about her geography had changed. Nothing about her relationships. Had changed because she lived up there and had to stay up there most of the time. You know what happened to her?
Is what happened? A loving heavenly father reached down on the top of that old mountain. and reconcile her to himself. She'd heard a few promises. She didn't know many.
She didn't know much about the Bible, but she began to read the scriptures. And she began to realize that God loved her whether anybody else did or not. And she said something happened in her relationship to her children. Start coming to church, of course.
Something began to happen in her relationship with other people. She started feeling us loving her. even before she was saved. And after she gave her life to Christ, Everything changed. You are hurting and hurting desperately.
Your four walls are closing in on you. There's no way to overcome this. Yes, there is. I want to challenge you. With all of my heart.
to take those five steps. and put them to work. Just start right now. with confessing your sin. and asking Christ to forgive you and to save you and tell him you're turning your life over to Him.
And step by step, God will remove your loneliness. and replace it with a wonderful sense of the awareness of his presence. And you know what will happen? Not only will you be aware of his presence, but before long you'll be aware of some other people's presence. And you'll begin to feel loved.
and you'll be able to love someone else. You don't have to give up to loneliness. You can overcome it. If you make the choice, to do it. Thank you for listening to part two of How to Handle Our Loneliness.
If you'd like to know more about Charles Stanley or InTouch Ministries, stop by intouch.org. This podcast is a presentation of In Touch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia.
