You Are Worth Protecting: A Caregiver's Reminder of Value

Hey, do you know a caregiver in your life who is struggling with something and you don't really know what to say?

Well, guess what? I do. So get them this book. It's called A Minute for Caregivers. When every day feels like Monday.

They're one minute chapters. And I'd love for you to put that in the hands of somebody who is struggling as they care for a chronically impaired loved one. And it could be somebody dealing with an aging parent or special needs child. Somebody that has an alcoholic or an addict in their family. Somebody who has a loved one who has had a traumatic experience, mental illness.

There's so many different kinds of impairments. There's always a caregiver. How do you help a caregiver?

How do you help somebody who helps somebody? That's where I come in. That's where this book comes in. And that's what I think you're going to find will be incredibly meaningful to them. And if you're going through that right now, they get a copy for you. Friends don't let friends care give alone. I speak fluent caregiver for decades of this.

This will help. I promise you it'll pull you back away from the cliff a little bit, point you to safety, give you something solid to stand on so that you or that caregiver you know can be a little healthier as they take care of somebody who is not healthy. Caregivers make better caregivers.

It's called a minute for caregivers when every day feels like Monday wherever books are sold. And for more information, go to PeterRosenberger.com. I am so glad to be with you today. Thank you for being a part of the program.

PeterRosenberger.com. I am still in Denver. I don't know exactly how long I will be here, but as I told Gracie the other day, we're in it to win it. And it's going to take what it takes because this is for all the marbles. For those of you who are first time listeners, she just had her 89th surgery. And that's being generous because I think there's more to it, but it's hard to keep count. And this was an unexpected one. We came down to Denver to fix certain things on her hips.

And those were fixed, but the wind came open unexpectedly since our last time together and they had to take her back into surgery and fix the left side and they preemptively fixed the right side. So technically it was two, but we're only counting it as one. It was a bit unexpected. And so here we are now, well over six weeks into this. I think we were nearing the end, but she did stand up and walk.

And that was quite moving to see. And I'll get into more of that a little bit later, but you would think after four decades of this, that I would have a pretty good handle on acute caregiving in a situation like this, but I'm still learning things. And I think I will always be learning things. It's not caregiving task things. That's never ending and that's insurmountable. I mean, I can't go back to medical school.

I can't go to nursing school. So there's always those kinds of things that you learn. But I think for us as caregivers, the biggest thing to learn is ourself and the principles that sustain us in this. What is peace in the midst of this?

What does that even look like? You know, and I think that's the thing I spent a lot of time pondering and contemplating. Over the years, people have told me basically the same things they've told you, you know, oh, trust the Lord with this, trust Jesus. And I got to ask you one caregiver to another, what does that look like to you?

Draw a picture of that. When somebody says to you, trust Jesus with this. And in the context of where I am right now, I, you know, am watching my wife in ICU for the better part of six weeks here, struggle with a lot of pain and down three different surgeries, very painful surgeries. And she's having to be flat on her back most of the time. She can be on her side a little bit. They have to raise her so she doesn't get bed sores a little bit, but she can't sit up for only just moments at a time just to be able to grab something to eat. And she's got to be back on her back because they don't want her bending.

Okay, that's challenging for anybody, but that's on the back end of now a 40 plus year journey for her. So what does it look like to trust Jesus in that circumstance? What does it look like to rest on the promises of God? You follow where I'm going with this because a lot of people are glib to say those kinds of things. They're quick to say it. And it sounds very nice and it buttons up the conversation for the person giving that counsel. But what about for us as caregivers? After they leave, we're sitting in a hospital room watching someone we love suffer. And they just left and they're feeling pretty good because they came and checked off a box for Christian ministry, but we're still there. What does it look like to trust Jesus?

These are the questions I ask myself. And I've been going through the book of John. I listen on a teaching with it as I walk back and forth to the hospital. You know, I've read this before, but now I'm going through it very slowly. And I feel like I'm just now getting introduced to Jesus in the Gospel of John. And I hear things now that I've never heard before. And I'm more convinced of scriptures that now come to mind.

This is my peace I give to you, not as the world gives you. And I look around at so many people in this hospital situation. This is a very large teaching hospital. And I look around at the nurses, the staff, the doctors, the patients, their families.

And I see so many people who are troubled. You go down to the cafeteria, they're everywhere. I was walking to the hospital just from across the street. It's just literally across the street. But I'm standing at a very busy intersection and it's not the nicest area of town. And there was a young lady that came up behind me and maybe it's my martial arts training, I don't know. But I don't like anybody to be behind me.

So I kind of moved over and we're standing there at the intersection waiting to cross. And she is heavily tattooed and heavily pierced. Lots of metal all over her face. Big chains hanging down from her ears.

You know, we're from different worlds. And there was a bald eagle flying right in front of me, swooping around. There's a little holding pun there in front of the hospital. By the way, they pulled a body out of there the other day. Some homeless guy or something fell in there and drowned. And he'd been there for a day or so. I saw all these cop cars. I was wondering what's going on. So it's not the best area. And when I told that to Gracie, she was like, oh, please don't walk back and forth. But it's OK.

I don't walk in the nighttime, but I do walk in the daytime. So we're standing there waiting across the street. I see this eagle swooping around. And I took a picture of the eagle and she noticed that I took the photo with my phone and mentioned how beautiful the bird was. And I said, well, John Denver saying he'd be a poor man if he never saw an eagle fly.

So I said, we're not poor this morning. And she smiled kind of sadly. She said, I needed to hear that with what I'm carrying. And I said, what are you carrying?

Now, this is all right at this very busy intersection, which I never take for granted that I'm going to get across safely. We'll just leave that there. And as we're walking across the street, she said, I've got an X. And this girl couldn't have been 30. I mean, she was less than 35.

I mean, not lived a whole lot of life yet, but evidently enough to have a lot of pain. And she said, I got an X that's stalking me and I'm afraid he's going to end up on my doorstep and hurt me. Well, do I just tell her to just trust Jesus with that? Is that what I say? So I went through an inventory of some things. I said, what about protection, order of protection, this and this and this?

Practical things. And she said, I said, do you have a lawyer involved to help you with these things? She said, I'm going to have to get one. I said, what about a firearm? She said, well, I can't get one because I have an assault record. I have a lower class assault record from some kind of squabble she got into some years ago.

But it's prohibited for her to get a firearm now. And as we got across the street safely, yay, we made it across the street. Never take that for granted.

I'm getting ready to turn to go into the hospital. She's going to go down the sidewalk wherever she's going. Don't know her name. She doesn't know mine. She doesn't know what I'm carrying. And I turned and I looked at her and I said, ma'am, you are worth protecting. You know this, right? And she kind of looked at me and was very sad.

I don't know that anybody had ever told her that. And I said, again, you are worth protecting. It's important that you do what is necessary to protect yourself. You are worth this.

And big tears kind of filled her eyes. And I said, do these things that I talked about. These are practical things. You can do that today. But would you spend some time alone with God and ask for wisdom on what to do next? He'll give you that. I said, if any man asks for wisdom, he'll give it to him.

Let him ask. And she nodded that she would. I said, may I pray with you? So right there on the street corner there before I turned to go in to see Gracie in the ICU, I prayed with this young woman. And I didn't give a generic prayer.

I didn't just tell her to trust Jesus. I laid out a plan of attack for her. I only had minutes to do this.

Just minutes. I'll never see this woman again for the rest of her life. I'm certain of it. And she'll never know who I am.

And that's okay. Because I pointed her to the Savior in a way that she could understand. And I told her she was worth protecting.

Because that's what I want to hear when I'm in the ICU. That I am worth protecting. I'm worth going to God in prayer about. And I have a Savior gave his life for me, imputed his righteousness to me, rose from the dead, ascended to heaven, and sent his Spirit, as Keith Green sang, till the work on earth is done. That's what gives me the freedom as I'm dealing with my own burdens to be able to point others to the Savior, even if I'm just crossing the street.

If she doesn't think she's worth protecting, how successful do you think she'll be at protecting herself? How many of you this morning as caregivers are feeling that same way? As we cross the street together to go to our caregiving task, I'm going to point you to the Savior just like I did for her. Because that's where hope for the caregiver is. We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger.

Glad to be with you. PeterRosenberger.com PeterRosenberger.com I want to draw attention to a couple of things I'd like for you to check out on my website. Would you take a moment to do that? One of them is Gracie's new blog post. She's been doing this series on pain. It's worth you taking the time to look. I'll talk about this more in a little bit.

This newest episode just hit for March. I think you'll find it very meaningful. Please read it and share it. It's pretty strong. I tell her she's stronger than elevator rope. She can't write, but she can dictate. You all know that. You all know she can dictate to me.

Oh my goodness. These are conversations she and I have been having for, quite frankly, many, many, many years. Her right hand is a bit messed up, so writing is very difficult for her. I don't know if you know this or not, but Gracie was a double major vocal and piano. She was quite good.

After the wreck, her hand was a little bit messed up. It's difficult for her to play the piano. That's sad to her because she loved doing it, but I try to pinch hit for her and play for her. I think I do reasonably well.

I hope I can carry my freight. She doesn't complain too much about my playing. When we first got married and she noticed how poor my rhythm was, she fussed at me a lot then.

She would start clapping with me. Oh, I hated that too, to keep me in the groove in the pocket. It was embarrassing. It was frustrating.

I would get so annoyed. She was a task master. I slowly but surely developed some rhythmic improvement. Let's just say that. I told you.

They called me Indiana Peter and the Tempo of Doom. Over the years, I had to really work at that. I have to practice with the metronome still sometimes.

I just don't feel it in the pocket. I'm getting there, but I don't feel it like some do. I get discouraged about it, but that's why you practice. I'm a little bit disheartened because I haven't been able to play a piano since I've been here in Denver in over six weeks.

That's a bit disheartening because normally I like to practice every day. I'll be a little rusty when I get back. I'm going to fire up the caregiver keyboard when I return to Montana.

We may have to give a few disclaimers, and y'all are just going to have to be family. But anyway, once her hand was a bit messed up, it was very difficult for her to play. So she focused on vocals. Her voice, well, you've heard her voice, so she does all right. I write things for her, but these are her thoughts. This is something she has put together, and she tells me what she'd like to talk about, what she'd like to say, and I help her do that.

I think it's worth your time to go out and look at this at PeterRosenberger.com. Under the blog post, you go up to the top, it says Resources. You can see everything that we have there. Then you also see a link to my Substack page.

Now, on my Substack page, I put out something every Monday morning that is an excerpt from my book, A Minute for Caregivers, when every day feels like Monday. I put it out on Monday. And one of the newer pieces, right on the heels of the Oscars, by the way, was that not deplorable? I didn't watch it. I can't watch it.

I only watched the last five or ten minutes just to see who won the best picture, and it was just sad. It was truly sad, and I like Conan O'Brien, but even he had to go down that same tired path of the cheap shots at Trump. Look, even if you don't like the guy, be clever, okay? Be a comedian. If you're a comedian, work hard to be clever and funny, and not just take the low road. I mean, that's why I don't like comedians who swear a lot, comedians who just say the same tired jokes against conservatives and Christians.

Because you're being lazy. And you know who I learned that from? Jay Leno. Jay Leno said, why would you alienate half of your audience right off the bat?

Why would you do this? You know, be clever. If you're going to tell a political joke, make it clever and so forth. And the Oscars, they don't know how to do that.

These people live in such a bubble, and I don't think they really understand just how messed up they are in their thinking. But, irrespective of which, right after the heels of the awards show, quote unquote, I did one on a different kind of award for us as caregivers. And the title of this is called, And the Award for Discretionary Valor goes to, it's giving awards for discretionary valor.

And how important to us as caregivers that is. By the way, I want to say that like they say it now, the kids are saying it, important, important, important. And before I get into this, I got to tell you all, it has just been mind numbing to me how many people just ignore you when you hold the door for them. Are you seeing this? Is this a trend, by the way? I know I'm on a tangent. Just bear with me.

I've been in the hospital for seven weeks here with Gracie, so just bear with me. Have you noticed that I hold the elevator for people, and they'll just walk right past. Never look up from their phone, never stop, never. Sometimes I'll say, I'm sorry? They say, well, I didn't say anything. I say, oh, I thought you said thank you. I don't do that often, but I sometimes do.

And then if I am thanked, you know, it's really quite rare. You know, and I'll hold the door, and I'll let women go in first to the elevator. And it's just like, I mean, that's the way I was taught.

This is who I am. But it's still kind of like, wow, what happened to our society? I was in, they have a breakfast buffet here at the hotel, and there was an old guy there, and he was reaching into the bin to get his muffins, and he was loading up a plate. He was using, he was just, you could tell this was a bitter old man. And I showed him, I said, hey, there are the tongs right there.

And he got so mad at me, I didn't care. But it just like, what happened to manners in this world? What happened to civility? I know I was raised in the South, but those of you who are in the South that are listening to this program know that the South is not immune from poor manners.

Now, that could be because so many people from the North moved down there. Oh, I'm just kidding. No, you know I'm not.

But we have, we've lost civility and manners and decorum. I mean, you just saw on the State of the Union, they had to throw that guy out. Al Green, not the Al Green that could sing.

Let's stay together. Not that Al Green. It was the other Al Green who was just, you know, bless his heart. That's a Southern word. That's a loaded Southern phrase right there.

Bless his heart. And we all know what that means. But I look at these people and they're, people have just lost their minds. I mean, people are not civil.

They're not decorum. And, you know, and we don't know how to speak properly anymore. But, and I've had more nurses and aides tell Gracie, if you need us, just press the button.

And I'm like, where is the button? But okay, that's enough of that. Anyway, that ties right into my article. Just in case you think I can't wrap this up, I will. I will tie all of this into a nice, pretty caregiver bow for you.

And here's how the article starts. In trauma, the clock is the adversary, but in caregiving, it's the calendar. While emergencies demand an immediate response, quick actions for caregivers often result in battles on multiple fronts. Nothing stretches a caregiver too thin like rushing to a crisis while already embroiled in one. Do I get an amen from that one?

Do you want me to read that again? Nothing stretches a caregiver too thin like rushing to a crisis while already embroiled in one. And there's a great quote from the Mask of Zorro that Anthony Hopkins said to the young Alejandro, Don Diego, played by Anthony Hopkins. He said, oh yes, my friend, you would have fought very bravely and died very quickly. In the long caregiving journey, caregivers benefit from incorporating discretionary valor. For many caregivers, including me, the default is to hurl ourselves or our opinions recklessly at situations that require neither. Being still often takes enormous discipline and its own form of bravery. Although some may not recognize it, knowing when to or when not to act often reflects extraordinary wisdom and courage.

It's hard to stay at one's post when everything is falling apart. Yet one's mettle, and that's M-E-T-T-L-E, not M-E-D-A-L, one's mettle is usually tested by not interfering when things get dicey. Sometimes others need to experience failure to grow.

Hampering that experience inhibits their growth. Although not often valued, discretionary valor remains one of the most critical attributes a caregiver can utilize. While soldiers receive medals, that's M-E-D-A-L-S, reflecting bravery under duress, our medals for discretionary valor appear differently. Our awards signify peace of mind, less drama, and a good night's sleep.

How'd you like that? For your mettle, for discretionary valor. And the quote I put on there is, don't just do something, stand there. How many of us as caregivers rush into a crisis when we already have one going on?

I do this all the time, I take on more, and my sister is really good, she's got a quote, and I stole it from her. Is this a concern or a responsibility? Is this yours to carry or yours to observe? We don't have to go to every fight that we get a ticket to. I don't have to correct everybody who says button, I don't have to do it. I want to sometimes. I don't have to chastise everybody who doesn't say thank you to me when I hold the door. I don't have to tell everybody who reaches their grubby hands into the bin where the roles are instead of using the tongues. Well, maybe I do have to do that one. I'm just like, you know, in a world full of wrongs, I don't have to make everything right.

That is not my job, that is way above my pay grade, and I'm learning that I've got all I can say Gracie over. What about you? What can you do today to pin the metal of peace of mind and calmness and joy on your uniform because you did not rush into something that wasn't yours to rush to? What can you do today to navigate more smoothly in a world full of bumpy, bumpy, bumpy roads?

See, that's the journey for us as caregivers. We're not going to fix these things. We have a Savior that will, but we're not going to. But we can, as the Apostle Paul said, as much as it is up to us, live peaceably with one another, and that comes from discretionary valor, and that is Hope for the Caregiver, and this is Peter Rosenberger. PeterRosenberger.com.

Check out Gracie's article. We've got a great interview. When we come back, don't go away. There's more to come. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. Glad to have you with us. One of the issues that we as caregivers deal with is the family dynamic of estrangement, and it's brought on by a variety of reasons. The family just starts to dissolve under the pressure, the confusion, the obligation, the resentment. All of these things tear apart these sometimes very tenuous ties in our family, and I've got a wonderful guest here today to talk about that. Her name is Sandra Lovelace.

She's got a book out. She talks about her understanding and her work in dealing with people in trauma and estrangement. So Sandra, I'm glad that you're here with us today. Thank you for being a part of the program.

Oh, you're very welcome. I'm glad to be invited. Tell me about this work that you're doing. Tell me about your book. Tell me about why you got into this. Well, I got into family estrangement for the same reason I got into talking and writing about homeschooling, and talking and writing about families worshiping together in church, and because it's been a part of my life and become that in the last few years, it's disruptive, and I can see the connection to trauma. When we find ourselves in situations where we're not able to cope and we're actually needing to be able to survive, stepping back is one of the ways that we choose to alleviate the stress and be able to carry on with our lives. When you look out at the landscape of this culture of ours, what are your thoughts?

What are you seeing? Well, actually I'm glad you asked me that, because more and more I'm recognizing this dynamic called family estrangement is not something brand new. I've looked back into my own family's genealogy in the last couple of years just to see my dad's military record, but I learned through old documents, et cetera, that my dad and all his siblings, there were six kids, completely separated from their parents, and there's almost no history to be found on them going back. So family estrangement has been around at least two generations back from me. It also, I know, well that would be on my mother's side, there was also estrangement between sisters and others that lasted until the end of their lives also, and that it was there before. It was a coping skill that people and families use, but we're only becoming aware of it now, which I think is the most exciting thing, because it opens the door to healing and recovery, rebuilding what God really intended. You know, that family is the basis that God set human beings up on. He built us into families. So restoring that is essential.

Other than the broad topic of sin, when you drill down on that, what are you seeing are the common threads that lead to this on a regular basis with families? Well, trauma is the reason for it. And when we know that trauma is actually an automatic response from the autonomic to biological response, from the autonomic nervous system in our body, to turn to fight or flight, most people have heard that, where the body actually makes biological changes, the prefrontal cortex, the thinking brain is short-circuited of energy, etc., and the body pumps out cortisol, adrenaline, and does everything it can to get blood rushing to the arms and legs to either fight or run the other way.

And so the thinking brain is really not connected the way it needs to be for rational connection. And so that disruption starts, and then things cascade from there, and the situation just gets worse. We're seeing that really now across the globe. I mean, I know in some international countries it's clearly happening in America, in and outside the Church.

I haven't been back to the other countries I've been to yet to have this particular topic talked about, but I know that trauma is global. Well, yeah, it's the human condition. I look at my audience who are filled with caregivers, and there's so much stress in being a caregiver. And I look at my life over the four decades I've been doing this, and one day I'm going to write my new book called Cringe.

My life is a caregiver of all the things that I've done that are just cringe-worthy. But I look back and I see the way I dealt with that stress, and I see that pattern of me just staying so amped up. And what changed for me was better theology, quite frankly, just better theology. I started having a different understanding of God than the God that I had manufactured, and realized that when I hear phrases from Scripture, thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind has stayed on thee. And I took that to heart.

I believed it, and he gave me the grace to believe it. And I see that working out in my life. Are you seeing that when people will bend the knee and say, you know, I'm going to take God at his word, that this is available to me, that I can be calm in this no matter what kind of traumas going on around me? I mean, I'm doing this interview with you right now after spending five weeks in the ICU with my wife.

No matter what's going on around me, I can be calm. Are you seeing that people are willing to grasp that concept? I appreciate what you're talking about, and yes, the issue that I see is that often people are trying to spiritually put themselves in a straitjacket, or bend their arm up behind their back to get to that place, when in fact we are built mind, body, spirit. And trauma fits in the body.

I lived that way for decades myself. And so when we can pause and look to the Lord, you know, 2 Corinthians 10.5, take every thought captive and bring it to Christ, show him to align it with truth, yes, and everything you're talking about, Peter makes total sense to me. But get in to go get the body to be able to be calm enough so that those things that are causing the disruption can be healed by Christ. And when that happens, yes, peace returns, that's what we can take everything to him. Unfortunately, I just think that many of us Christians, and I think a lot of us have picked it up in the Church, is the idea that we have to ignore our needs and just carry on and carry on, when in fact Christ himself took breaks.

He went off on the mountaintop to pray to his Father alone. He went away from the crowds that were pressuring him all the time, and was with his disciples, etc. And we need to do the same thing when we're finding, I'm probably going to be stretching a little bit, but I'm going to suggest that that's part of what you've done in the past, is to be able to nurture that peace of your life. So the idea that we need to pay attention to what's going on in our body is not self-centered, selfish, etc. Rather, it is Christ-centered. It is also God-care. Not self-care, not being selfish, but caring for ourselves the way God wants us to. And then also, God-esteem.

Yes, just what you're talking about, about getting back to the facts of Scripture. God-esteem. I don't have my value because of what I think about myself today, what I've done, what I've said, what I've accomplished, but rather, my value comes from the fact that I am created in the image of God. That Jesus built me with a particular design and a particular purpose that flows out of that design. Ephesians 2.10. You know, it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

These biblical truths, yes, the theological foundation. But I think that the entry point needs to be recognizing where the trauma fits and tending that in order for Christ to do the healing, which he does biologically, intellectually, and – sorry – mind, body, and spirit. That's the approach of my trauma work. You know, one of the things I tell my fellow caregivers is, respect the trauma. And my wife, in her case, she had a terrible accident 40-something years ago, and it was horrific. When you have that level of trauma, you cannot just assume certain things. Well, we have people that are having trauma all the time. I don't think people respect the trauma of a divorce, the trauma of such and such, or losing your job and things. These are traumatic experiences to our beings. And if we don't respect it, not to indulge in it, not to wallow in it, but to respect, this is a significant event, and I need to heal from this.

And what does that healing look like? Have you found that people are willing to hear that from you in those things, or are they just wanting – like Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka was, I want it now, I want it now, I want it now. Well, you're not going to get it now. It takes time. It's a process.

Yes, absolutely, absolutely. Look, I've walked through trauma for 70, 70 years. It's had that kind of an influence on my life – faulty perceptions, poor coping skills. It just has followed me all that time. And yet, here I am today, I can tell you my life is rich and full and free. I'm finally experiencing the abundant life that Scripture talks about.

And all because, back when I started to learn about trauma, God made it really clear that awareness is God's invitation to new life. When He makes us aware, you know, I've just acted out of character. I've just behaved in a way that I'm shocked. I've used language that I never thought would come out of my mouth. There you go.

That's a signal. There's a trauma going on that needs attention, it needs healing, the kind that only Jesus can provide, because He is the way and the truth and the life. So I appreciate very much, Peter, your foundation on Scripture.

Yes, I have found that too. For me, I lived in my head, I came to faith, and I added on all that information into my spiritual life, but the body was being ignored. And yes, trauma needs to be respected and understood. And also, so much in my perception, I've been in this caregiver role, but not as extensively as you, is I want to do everything that I possibly can to help the other person, the one that's really, really hurting, and we forget about our own self-care. Well, God care is the term I prefer to use. God does intend for us to take care of ourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

We need to remember that first part of that, just like the oxygen on a plane, it's going to go down, the pressure is getting worse, we put the mask on ourselves first, then we can be the best caregiver that we can be to the people around us. So thank you for the balance you're presenting, Peter. You're very welcome, and you're very gracious, and I'm very glad to have you here to talk about this issue. We're talking with Sandra Lovelace. Her website is SandraAllenLovelace.com if you want to learn more about her ministry with trauma and recovery, estrangement and all of the above.

Powerful testimony. We're going to be back with more when we come back from the break. This is Peter Rosenberger, Hope for the Caregiver.

We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberger, and I am so very glad to be with you. PeterRosenberger.com.

PeterRosenberger.com. That's R-O-S-E-N-B-E-R-G-E-R. We'd love to hear from you. There's a lot of stuff out there, including... Gracie's got a new blog post on her series on pain for March. I think you're going to love this. Take a look. It's quite moving, and there's certainly more at the website, PeterRosenberger.com. We're continuing our conversation with Sandra Allen Lovelace. SandraAllanLovelace.com. She was referencing the journey of taking care of ourselves.

What does that look like? I think Sandra, for me, the word that always comes back to me is stewardship. Are we being good stewards of what's going on with us? Are we being good stewards of the journey that we've had, of the pain that we've endured, the insights we're gaining?

I've found that nobody trusts Jesus accidentally. It's an intent. We have to deliberately go against the grain of what this world offers, of medicating. I saw, when you're at the hospital, as long as I am right now, you see a lot of things, and I see families gathered around. They've got somebody who's dealing with something pretty serious, or they wouldn't be at this particular facility, and they're all buried in their phones.

Every one of them. They're not talking to each other. They're estranged while sitting at the same table. Put down the phone and talk and be and sit and experience and be in the moment with it, because it's not going to happen. You're not going to get through this haphazardly. You're going to have to be intent on this. Tell me very quickly, in the bit of time we've got left, how can people find you about this book, and how can people find it? I'm really happy for people to reach out to me at Sandra Allen Lovelace. That's the professional name that I use, and you'll find me at SandraAllenLovelace.com, my website. You'll see some of the resources that I have there, and also how to reach out to me. Subscribe to my newsletter. You can find a lot of the trauma theories that I've provided on YouTube.

Also, Sandra Allen Lovelace. You can find me on Facebook. I share my own personal trauma healing clips there, Sandra Allen Lovelace. I am a speaker or I'm a coach. I'm happy to reach out and support people where they are. I work primarily with women. I do appreciate this.

I really do appreciate the work that you do and what you're doing. I know that this audience is filled with people who are traumatized. They're dealing with a horrific set of circumstances. I would leave this audience with this word, and Sandra, I'm going to put you on the spot to back me up on this. Trauma doesn't heal itself. Is that a fair statement? Yes, sir.

That's exactly right. I struggled with it for more than 70 years. Trauma and I have been around the block, I'm just going to tell you, and I can't give God enough glory. I cannot praise His name or exalt Him enough to express where I am at this point. I mean, there's fresh neural pathways in my mind. Oh, sure, I still stumble because I'm still here, but His blessings on my life are rich and free. Well, Sandra, thank you so much for joining the program.

Sandra Allen Lovelace, and I hope you'll check out her material. I know that so many people are dealing with this issue. Don't let it just keep going.

It doesn't get better on its own. Let's take steps today. And today is a great day to start doing healthy things.

Healthy caregivers make better caregivers. Thank you, Sandra, for being a part of the program today. And I wanted to end up with some things about Standing With Hope. This month represents the 20-year anniversary of Standing With Hope.

Twenty years. It was our first patient, and his name was Jonathan Inukwa. Jonathan Inukwa. And he came into the clinic in West Africa, in Accra, Ghana. Gracie and Jim McElhaney, her prosthetist of many years, she met him back in 91, and he started building her legs. He's an amputee himself.

And we begged Cajold to take him over there. This is Gracie's vision after giving up both of her legs. In 1995, she was now a double amputee.

She's still in the hospital. And I walk in and she said, I know what we're going to do. And I'm like, I don't know.

I feel like I sound like Donald Trump. And I said, oh, Gracie, what are we going to do? What are we going to do, Gracie? We're going to do a lot of legs. She said, we're going to do a lot of beautiful, beautiful legs. Very beautiful legs. They're beautiful.

They're beautiful. And she said, we're going to put legs on people. We're going to tell them about Jesus. And I said, can we get out of the hospital first? She said, okay.

It took a while to work it all out. But we went over there and we show up. We got all these supplies.

We're working with the local workers there. Jim's going to treat our first patient. And Jonathan comes in on a leg. And I had told him ahead of time, I said, we want to treat a patient that's missing a leg. He's got a leg. Well, it turns out he had found a leg somewhere. It didn't fit him.

And you never want to use somebody else's leg because all prostheses are custom fit for that patient. And he had found this leg that was too big for him. So he wrapped his residual limb, basically his stump, in all kinds of cloth, rags, everything else, so that it wouldn't move around in the socket. He couldn't bend his leg. So he had this terrible walking gait. So he couldn't ride public transportation because he couldn't bend his leg.

It was horrific to see this. Never, ever, ever use somebody else's leg. Now, we will recycle the components.

Okay? We do do that. I mean, you can take a leg, you can strip it down so that you can use the foot, the pylons, the screw, the knee, the adapters, all that kind of stuff can be, but not the socket. The socket is custom made for each patient. And so when Jim saw Jonathan, he looked like a mummy. He was taking off all this wrapping around his limb. And he said, we're going to change this man's life. And we did. And Jonathan got up and he walked. And he went out in the parking lot there, the dusty clinic there in Accra. And he ran.

It was an exceptional thing. And he, for many years, we would replace his leg, fix things with it. He succumbed to malaria many, many years later. And it was heartbreaking. I kept up with his wife and his son. His son just graduated from college.

He was just a little boy. When he was able to see his father go running in the parking lot, walking and leaping and praising God. It was an exceptional moment.

It changed his life. And that was the vision that Gracie had. Thirty years ago, when she gave up her remaining leg, it took a while to convince me.

That was not on my list of things to do, was to do this. And Gracie said, this is what we're going to do. So here's this woman with a broken body. And we have, we collect all kinds of prosthetists from all over the country, from literally from Alaska. We've had them from Anchorage to Miami. And they go to a prison in Arizona run by an outfit out of Nashville called CoreCivic. And they have a lot of faith-based programs, because faith-based programs help prevent recidivism.

When these inmates leave the prison, you know, nobody wants them coming back. And they want to help rehabilitate that individual, prepare them for life outside the prison. Faith-based programs are part of that.

And we are so grateful and honored to be one of those faith-based programs. And inmates volunteer to do this. And they disassemble those legs that come in from all over the country. They break them down to the screw level at times.

Now we don't reuse the socket, that's discarded, but the adapters, the pylons, all that kind of stuff is reused. So parts, prosthetic limbs, come from broken people. They go to a prison where broken people help recycle those parts.

They're shipped over to Africa where they are used to build a brand new leg for more broken people. And all of this was the vision of a woman with a broken body who trusted God with horrific injuries and difficulties. Because she knows she's trusting the One who was broken for her. You minister out of your wounds, for that is where you meet the healer. In fact, that's the quote on the caregiver calendar that I made for this month in March. And it got a beautiful picture of the mountain range in front of our home.

And where Big Sky Ski Resort is, it looks across the valley and you see Big Sky. And that quote is, we minister out of our wounds, for that's where we meet the healer. And these are all quotes I put on pictures that I've taken there. It's just something to give to fellow caregivers. And if you want one of those calendars, it's not too late, you still have March, the rest of the year, just go out to standingwithhope.com.

Standingwithhope.com. And we're launching a campaign, 25 for 25. For the year 2025, we're looking for folks who are willing to donate $25 a month.

You say, you know what, this has value. I want to be a part of this. We have two programs at Standing with Hope. We have the prosthetic limb industry and then this caregiver outreach that you're listening to right now. What we do for family caregivers is for the wounded and those who care for them. We minister out of our wounds, for that is where we meet the healer. Jonathan was our first patient, but he is certainly not our last. We have treated hundreds of patients who have gone walking and leaping and praising God. We have recycled now over a thousand prosthetic limbs.

It's an exceptional work that I never dreamed I would do. I promise you I didn't dream that, but Gracie did. She did. And she trusts God with her brokenness.

And because of that, others literally stand and walk. If you want to be a part of this, we'd welcome the help. We're just a mom and pop and mostly pop right now, but that's okay. Mom is going to, she's going to get better. And she's raring to go back to Africa.

I'm a little nervous about that. Let me get her out of the hospital first and going, but she wants to go, even with her broken body. Because she trusts the ever-living one. His wounds for me doth plead, as the hymn writer said. And it's not about her wounds, it's about his. Hers are temporary, his or not. And that is why we have hope.

Standing with hope, she's standing with hope, and I have hope for the caregiver. How about that? You can see all of this and more at PeterRosenberger.com. PeterRosenberger.com. Thank you for letting me spend some time with you, and I'll see you next time.