Harsh Judgment

Harsh Judgment

Interviewing a couple who raised two children with Huntington’s disease (HD) on my program, they relayed a heartbreaking story where they stood before a judge who clearly didn’t understand the nature of HD. After repeated arrests for shoplifting, violent behavior, and other issues, the judge commented from the bench that she felt this resulted from “bad parenting.” Unable to address the court or defend themselves, the couple shared, “We had to take it on the chin.”

A five-minute search or phone call by the judge would have provided a bigger picture of the nature of this horrific disease that brutalizes both patients and their caregivers. Sadly, the judge chose to go with an uninformed decision—and a regrettable lack of compassion.

While the judge’s comments remain grievous, how many caregivers “don the black robe” and make harsh and ill-informed pronouncements upon themselves while looking in the mirror? 

Countless caregivers spend way too much time condemning themselves for the out-of-control behavior of someone else. 

Whatever we wish that judge to have said to this broken and despairing couple, we would benefit from posting that same message on our bathroom mirrors.

I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice. —Abraham Lincoln