Caregivers and an Instant Vacation

Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver, this is Peter Rosenberg and this is the program for you as a family caregiver. More than 65 million Americans right now serve as a family caregiver here in this country alone.

Are you one of them? If so, you're in the right place and we're glad to have you with us. But you know, caregiving is not certainly limited to just this country and I am so grateful for all the listeners we have around the world. And I want to give a special shout out to Haney in Finland who contacted me, one of our prosthetists that we took over to Africa many times before he passed away. He was a wonderful friend, wonderful prosthetist with our prosthetic limb outreach, standing with Hope.

His family was from Finland. I just, I miss him terribly. And when I got the note from Haney who didn't know, I don't think knew the man, but it was one of those things that just brought back a lot of great memories. So Haney, I appreciate you listening all the way over in Europe. Thank you for being a part of this. We have listeners all over the world and we're grateful to be able just to connect.

Caregivers didn't have this for, you know, I certainly struggled for decades as a caregiver without any type of connection like this. And so I'm very honored to be a part of this with you all and part of this journey. You know, we talk a lot about heavy things on this show and rightly so. I mean, we got a lot of things that are painful that we deal with and we, we all deal with them and, and I get it, but sometimes we need to have a little bit of a lighter heart. Ecclesiastes says in three, four, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. Do we laugh? Do you laugh? If so, what makes you laugh? What's funny to you? And I'd like to hear from you. Hopeforthecaregiver.com. There's a little form there.

You can fill out and send it to me. What, what's funny to you? What's happened along your journey that's funny? And Gracie and I have had many mishaps along the years that have been funny, but also intentionally funny. I mean, I'll say things to her that just get her to belly laugh.

And I've often said that when Gracie laughs, she laughs like a drunk Viking, you know, and she's got this big laugh that is incredibly contagious and really quite astonishing for somebody who's been through what she's been through. And so I, I'm always looking for ways to make her laugh, but I look for ways to make myself laugh. I love standup comedy. I love comedy. And I love learning about comedy and how these guys did it.

And I go back. I mean, I'm a huge Don Rickles fan, Rodney Dangerfield. And some people don't like those guys, but I just think they're just hilarious. And I'm amazed at what they can do.

I mean, you think about the one liners that they would do for an hour, hour and a half. And it is, it's astonishing, you know, when Rodney's got just these things he would just do, and you'd see him on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and he would do these things that would just get Johnny all busted up. He talked about, you know, he said, I was an ugly child. My mother got morning sickness after I was born. So these are things that make me laugh.

And, and I look for ways to make Gracie laugh and to just see the humor in things. And we've had, you know, crazy moments. I mean, just in this last hospital stay, we were there in Denver and they were there for a long time. And it was, it was a very serious surgery.

We were there 10 weeks and it was a big, big surgery. And yet I, you know, I, I tend to see things through just a different prism. I've learned over the years, I mean, Gracie and I have had plenty of tears, but you know, we can't wait for all this stuff to go away before we start just living life. And this is our life. And so we laugh and, and I, the doctors all came in the room and they were all very serious. Everybody's got their mask on. These are big neurosurgeons.

I mean, these are, these are very important people. And I asked the doctor, he said, are there any questions? I said, doc, I got to ask you. And I had my serious face on and I said, is Tourette syndrome a product of this surgery? And Gracie just looked at me, shot daggers heavy with her eyes and all of the docs got a look from it and they all started laughing. And she looked at, she was very hoarse at the time.

She said, don't listen to him. I don't have Tourette syndrome. You know, it was just, it was kind of a moment for me. Cause I mean, you know, our, our life is hard and I look for ways to lighten it up and look for ways to make it a little less dire. And it's not that I want to be the comic relief and just always make everything good a joke. I genuinely see things that are funny and Gracie does too. I mean, she's keenly aware of the seriousness of her challenges and she doesn't need me to remind of those things.

But however, she does require a lifeline to brighter days ahead and companionship along the journey. And I tease and flirt outrageously with her while in the hospital, especially the hospital because that's just, why not? You know, we've been married 35 years and um, she was, she looked over at the hospital when I, and she smiled when she, and she rolled her eyes at me, which I did this and I imitated Jeff Foxworthy and I looked at her and I said, if you hang a sock on your wife's hospital room door, you're probably a redneck. But I noticed that when she's rolling her eyes at me, she's not crying. And we, we, we cry a lot as caregivers and the people we take care of cry.

But I think scripture is very clear. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. And we seem to make time to cry, but do we make time to laugh? I'd be curious to know what is funny to you all? What are things that have happened in your journey that are funny and, and that make you laugh or what makes you laugh? How, what does that release for you? Jeff Foxworthy and I've talked about this a lot about laughter and comedy that it, you know, it's that pressure valve relief for all of us that we desperately need. And I think there are big guffaws and big belly laughs at all of us that are waiting to come out. And I'm just crazy enough to try to help you do it and help me do it, but it's not accidental.

It's intentional. And, and I want to give myself and fellow caregivers permission to laugh and live life and live it with, with gusto. Because if we don't, we're going to serious ourselves into some very significant dysfunctions. You know, we, we can't maintain this level of angst and seriousness for, for on and on and on in, in perpetuity.

We can't do it. And there's a time for it. I mean, I went through this surgery with Gracie and there are times when I just hung my head. And still today, there are times when I do that, when I just, I'm so tired and I'm so weary and I'm frustrated and I feel helpless with it. And I, I, I allow those moments, but then there are other times when I see things and say things and do things that just represent life. We're still a couple. We, you know, we're still very much in love and we've been married a long time and we want to live our life. And this is our life.

I'm not waiting for this part of our life to get finished so that we can go live our life. This is our life. What about you? What are you doing in this?

How are you living in this? Do you have any fun at all? Do you laugh at all? What makes you laugh?

I mean, there's some great stuff out there that can do this. I mean, I dare you, I dare you to go out and watch, you know, the old Carol Burnett show with Tim Conway when, when she did that Gone with the Wind and came out with the curtain rods on her shoulders. I mean, I dare you to watch it without laughing. And it's okay to laugh by the way. You know, I'm a huge Three Stooges fan. I mean, they're just about as nutty as they come, you know, and I, I love that. And you put on Don Rickles, Mr. warmth and, and I mean, I'm on the floor.

I don't know what works for you. Some people are tickled by different things, but we got to laugh. And it's okay to, even while the tears are still drying on our cheeks, it's really okay.

Scripture says it's okay. There's a time to laugh and a time to cry, time to mourn and a time to dance. What does that look like for you as a caregiver? And if you want to, please let me know.

Hope for the caregiver.com. If you got a good joke, I'm always up for it, you know, and, and I, I love it. And, and let's, let's do more. And I'm going to talk about this some more after the break. This is Peter Rosenberg. This is hope for the caregiver, hope for the caregiver.com Healthy caregivers make better caregivers. We'll be right back. Welcome back to hope for the caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberg.

This is the program for you as a family caregiver. How are you doing? What's going on with you? We're talking about laughter today. Do you laugh? I know you got tough stuff in your life.

I know I get it. We do too, but we still laugh. And there's an opportunity for us to learn to do this with intention so that we're balanced out.

Yes. Where there is a time to cry. We heard that in Ecclesiastes. There's a time to laugh and there's a time to cry. Do we take time to laugh? It's okay to hear Job 8 21. He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. Check out in the book of Proverbs, it says in 1515, all the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.

How do we have a cheerful heart when we have to look at such heartache? Well, part of it is we have to first accept permission to do so, that it's okay. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission. And I learned years ago, I used to be extremely serious all these things. I was uptight. I was anxious.

I was very unpleasant person to be around. And I inherited a wicked sense of humor from my mother who comes from Irish stock. And she's always coming up with something sarcastic to say. I grew up with four brothers and a sister and we spoke fluent sarcasm in our family.

That's our native tongue. But when we started going through all this heavy stuff with Gracie, the two of us, and it just was taking me down in some dark places. And then one day something just snapped and I just said, I'm going to live life. I'm going to give myself permission on this.

It's okay. I'm tired of this. I've been down in the mountain angry for, you know, it's exhausting to be angry all the time.

It's just exhausting. Do you have any idea how healthy it is for us to laugh? And so I, I just determined, okay, I'm going to laugh. And I think for me, there was a, there was a couple of moments that stand out. Y'all know who James Robinson is, James and Betty Robinson.

We were on their television show way back in the nineties and Gracie was, I'm pretty sure she was, yeah, she was a double amputee by then. And she wanted to make a point. There's a scripture that's very important to her.

Second Corinthians 12 nine, I will boast all the more gladly my weakness for my weakness, Christ power rest upon me. And she wanted to make a point. And so she's going to take her leg off that was, you know, and, and hold it up and boast all the more glad new weaknesses. She just wanted to make a point, take her, it's a below knee prosthesis. Well, it didn't go off as smoothly on camera as one would hope.

I don't know what you would hope to taking a leg off on camera would be like, but it was, it was just, it was a little bit, you know, clumsy to do so. And we were kind of buying time here and, and then she took it off and then she set it down on the table and there was a Bible there. And for whatever reason, she, she had it there, right there by the Bible or something. Maybe I did it. I had to go back and look at the tape. It's, I don't even know if I got it somewhere, but put it on there. I put her prosthetic foot on her leg on the Bible.

And I said, look, James, she's standing on the promises. They didn't, they didn't quite know how to respond because you know, here's this woman taking her leg off on camera. And it was, it was just kind of a funny moment. We were just being ourselves. We're just goofy. And it, we found that it gives other people an opportunity to relax.

Just breathe. It's okay. Uh, we were on the set of the Today Show and Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda, um, it was on their show and they, they, it's the night before they had sent us to see The Little Mermaid on Broadway. So we go see The Little Mermaid, you know, and it was okay, but yeah, I'm not really into that, but y'all know the story of The Little Mermaid. The next morning we're at the Today Show and they said, well, how was the show?

And I got real serious and I said, uh, not too good. And you could just tell everybody just, just got real quiet on the set. They went to the producer, the floor director, everybody, all of a sudden it just froze. You know how those moments when all of a sudden there's drama and everybody just stops. And they looked at me kind of funny and I said, that little fish girl kept saying, I want some legs.

I want some legs. And Gracie took hers off and lobbed him up on the stage and said, here you go little fish girl, quit your whining. And I said, it was just a, it was a terrible mess.

It was, we were thrown out and the Port Authority was called, we're banned for life from Disney, which I don't know that that's a bad thing these days, but you know, and it was just one of those moments where they all just started laughing. And Kathie Lee's that way too. And she's been on the program too.

Y'all have heard her. If you've listened to the show for a long time and she's a big laugher and, and it's, it was just funny to, to, to, to be a part of that. It was just so much enjoyment and to make Gracie laugh. And I do love making Gracie laugh. Now, you know, sometimes she gets mad at me. A lot of times she gets mad at me, but then sometimes I'll say things to her that her little face will crinkle up and she'll start at her nose crinkles and she starts just laughing. And then I've said things to her and I won't let up.

I mean, one time we were driving and I just, I just kept going with something and she was, she was, she was having a hard time breathing. And I think, I think I took a call from a telemarketer because I like to take calls from telemarkers. Do y'all do that? I do.

I love to mess with them. And, and I kept going with this guy. I mean, he said, um, he said, do you still have the car? And I said, well, yeah, sort of. It's, it's, it's been impounded is that the police impound. And I said, but those aren't my drugs. And by that time, Gracie's over there just pinching yourself to keep from laughing.

Cause I have it on Bluetooth on the speaker of the car. And so she could hear all of this and she's, she's over there just about ready to choke. She's laughing so hard. And then the guy said, well, do you have another car? I said, well, it's an older car. He said, is it after 2004? I said, well, yes, it's a, it's 2004. It's, it's a, it's a, it's a hearse and it's got 125,000 miles, but the really easy miles, real easy.

This is the guy trying to sell me an extended car warranty. And then Gracie just, she, she rolled down the window and just was leaning her head out and she was just trying to breathe. She was laughing so hard and it was just a fun moment.

It had nothing to do with disability, had nothing to do with prosthetics, had nothing to do with amputation. It had everything to do with me just ragging on a telemarketer, which for me is, is quite enjoyable. And she's like, why do you always take these calls? Well, I'm always on Bluetooth, so I'm hands-free and it's not like I'm having to stop what I'm doing.

I mean, I'm doing the dishes or whatever. And then sometimes I'll act like I'm sick and, and throwing up to them. And they're, they're wanting to tell, like one guy told me, he said that, um, the IRS is issuing a warrant for my arrest in three months, you know, and I told him, I said, I found out from my doctor, I only had three months to live and he's the only person who's called me and he must be a wonderful person. And I started choking and gagging like I was throwing up.

And finally after several minutes, he just hung up on me. So, I mean, I, I figured if they're going to interrupt me, I'd, I can have as much fun with them. And to me, it's fun. Okay.

Some other people may not want to do it, but I love doing it. And, and Gracie's over there just rolling. I mean, she's crying. She's laughing so hard.

Well, that's a pretty good day's work. If you make a woman who's had 83 surgeries, laugh to the point where she just came to catch your breath and it's, it's just healthy for both of us. And so what if we do it at a telemarketer's expense? Can you think of anybody else you'd rather put out than a telemarketer?

Of course not. That's, that's what they're there for is my amusement. And, and so I want to do things that, that help her laugh. And, and, um, you know, we, and then things happen to her that are hysterical. We had, uh, she was, she was getting a, a manicure one time.

This was when we lived in Nashville. There's a really busy salon. And the girl there was, was just not paying attention. And, and she's sitting there doing Gracie's nails. And she said, well, you're a pretty lady.

You need to get a pedicure. And Gracie said, well, I don't have any feet. She said, okay, maybe next time. Gracie just looked at her and I thought, I mean, that's just funny.

I don't care who you are. That's funny right there. And, and those are things that you, you come to treasure and you just laugh and you have a good time with because you realize it's just life. And, and listen to what Psalm 126 2 says, our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, the Lord has done great things for them. You know, this is why Gracie and I can laugh because we know the Lord has done great things for us. He has saved us from something far worse than 83 surgeries and multiple amputations and chronic pain and all the things that we deal with.

He saved us from something far worse than this. And so our mouths can be filled with laughter and we can rise above some of these things. It's hard to do it all the time because some of the things we deal with are very, very painful, but we have to be intentional about it. You know, we, we, when I make a meal for her, I don't just throw it together.

I'm intentional about it. And so we set out to watch movies that have a lot of humor to them and, and, and a lot of fun in them. And you know, she doesn't like, I, now I do like dramas.

I like movies that are really serious and intense. She doesn't like them. She said, I got enough drama in my life.

I don't need that. So she likes to watch things a little bit lighter, but you know, we would, there's, there's so many different things out there we'd like to watch that, you know, that's just hilarious. And sadly, we've lost comedy. I think COVID in the woke movement and everything else has killed comedy. And that's really unfortunate because, you know, comedy is, is, is essential for us to be healthy individuals. We have to laugh. We've got to cut up. We've got to tease each other, you know, we've, we've got to do these things.

Otherwise we're going to just go just barking mad. And so I wanted to take some time on this program today, just to be able to have those moments where we can just cut up and laugh and, and give you permission. I want to hear from you. What makes you laugh? What makes you relax a little bit?

What are those things that are in your life that do that for you? And I'd love to hear what you have to say at hopeforthecaregiver.com. Just fill out the little form and send it to me. And if you want, I'll call you from the show and you can tell the story if you want, if it's a funny story, then make sure it's funny.

Okay. Don't make it one of those kind of like, yeah, it's kind of sad, funny. No, no, it's funny, funny.

I mean, make it funny. You know, I've got a, I've got a niece who's 34 years old with cerebral palsy and she's like an 18 month old. This is my brother, sister-in-law's daughter. And she is absolutely enthralled with bodily noises. It's terrible.

But I got four brothers. It gets loud in our house and she just laughs and laughs and laughs and she's severely disabled. And we laugh with her because the Lord has done great things for us. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver.

We'll be right back. Peter Rosenberger. He's Irish on his mother's side. If you have a professional carpet cleaner on retainer, you might be a caregiver. If you've ever hooked up your dog to your wife's wheelchair, just to see if it would work. You know, here's the problem with this, Peter.

It's like redneck jokes. As I go, you're not making this up. You've actually done that. I have footage. Then that makes you a caregiver with issues. Do the one, my favorite, the one that you bust me up with every time.

Okay. If anyone has ever seriously asked you, baby, have you seen my left leg? Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. That is of course, Jeff Foxworthy riffing with me. Some time ago we did this of you might be a caregiver if, and also I had a John Butler there, the Count of Mighty Disco, long time producer of the show. And it was fun to do that. We had a lot of fun with it.

If anyone's ever seriously asked you, baby, have you seen my left leg? That is my life by the way. And it is funny. I remember one time, this is Peter Rosenberg. This is Hope for the caregiver, hopeforthecaregiver.com.

We're glad you're with us. You know, Gracie and I have heard about every kind of joke you can have when it comes to prosthetics. And you know, she lost her right leg in 91 or the left leg in 95. So, and she does it. She tells more than I do. She doesn't look at that as a source of her identity.

Her legs were damaged and broken and she let go of them. And she, she is funny with it. I remember though, I was telling Jeff some years ago, oh, this had to have been 20 years ago. And I said, you know, when I twirl her, when she's dancing, she gets taller. Well, he just thought that was really funny. He said, you can use that.

And, uh, but he wouldn't use it. He, I heard it six months later. I heard Larry, the cable guy joke.

And I thought, man, he gave my joke to Larry, the cable guy. So, uh, anyway, we, we have a good time. And Gracie, we're talking about laughter today. And so many of us as caregivers don't laugh. We are so serious. And I know we have painful things.

Okay. We do Gracie and I are no stranger to this. There are days when I am so discouraged, she is so discouraged and we intentionally have to do things to, you know, balance this out. And when you think about the magnificence of who we are in Christ and what awaits us, Paul said that this pales, the suffering, this world pales in comparison to the glory that waits ahead of us. And are we able to laugh and to have a good time and enjoy life?

Yes. In these difficult issues that we face. And I think this is what confounds the world is when they see joy in the midst of suffering. And, and Gracie and I have just learned that this is just a part of our life. Remember one time she was riding the horses out here and this is many, many years ago.

And we're out here, dad's property and riding some horses one day. Well, Gracie had a new type of prosthesis that she got, and they had buttons on the side where the calf is basically, cause she's a below the knee amputee. And that would release the leg. Don't get ahead of me.

You know where this is going. So we're on a horse and Gracie, whatever reason, the legs were, she wasn't really riding in the stirrups very well. I mean, we weren't running around. I mean, I'm very careful with her and they were, the legs popped against the saddle. Well, both of them popped off and they slid down, but they were stuck in her straight leg jeans. And so they started these loose prosthesis hanging from the bottom of her jeans, were slapping the horse. And you know what the horse did. He just went faster and she is just screaming as the horse is riding, wondering what in the world is going on here.

And she's just screaming. So Parker, our oldest son and I, we chased her down and we got it. We got the horse and everything was okay.

They'd hurt. We went ahead and took the legs off and waited until she got back to the barn to put them back on us. So we led the horse while she held onto the pommel and Parker's carrying one leg over his saddle. He was just grumbling the whole time.

He was a teenager at the time. And then I had the other one and I slid it into the rifle scabbard. So he had this leg coming out of the rifle scabbard and it, you know, it was a moment. I mean, we've had lots of things like that in our life where we've learned to just, you know, roll with it. And, and I remember times we'd pull up in traffic and, and people look over next doors and Gracie's this beautiful woman, but she had her leg off at one time.

It was kind of cramping up. So she had it off and she could have held it and scratched her ear with it and looked at the other people next to her in the car at the light. And they just kind of freaked out and, and you, you learn to just have a good time. And, and we've we've recognized that this doesn't define who we are.

It doesn't define who she is. We were at a disability conference once in McLean, Virginia, big church up there. And, and it was a big conference and everybody was twisting themselves.

It seems like into pretzels. Everyone was just, just all nervous about how do we categorize ourselves as differently abled or, you know, visually impaired or hearing impaired or physically challenged. And they were all trying to come up with all the right terms and Gracie was speaking and singing at this. And she got up and she said, I'm trying to figure out how to describe myself and my mobility impaired and my physically challenged. And she said, oh, heck y'all, I ain't got no legs. Everybody just got to drop their jaws. It was just because she's just such a stunningly beautiful woman.

And then she just, just says, you know, this is who I am, deal with it. And I love that. And we we, we had a time where we were performing with several celebrities for a big children's fundraiser for a children's charity in Kentucky. And John Michael Montgomery, the country singer was the big guy that was a big headliner for it. There are a lot of different folks play as a big golf tournament. There was a big show with music performance and Gracie and I were part of that.

And at the beginning of it, they had everybody come out and talk about, you know, who they are and, and, you know, that kind of stuff. And John Michael Montgomery had, he's a big country singer and he had a broken leg. He broke his leg while hunting ducks and he comes out and crutches and, and, you know, mentioned his, you know, his leg was broken and yada, yada, yada. Well then here comes Johnny Bench, you know, the hall of Famer from Cincinnati Reds, the catcher. And he comes out and he said, well, you think that's bad.

I got seven broken cups at home. And everybody just kind of winced, you know, and it was, you know, kind of laughed a little bit. And then Gracie comes out and she's wearing a skirt and her legs are robotic. And she comes out to the microphone. She said, I have never heard such whining from grown men.

And everybody just fell out laughing. And it was, it was such a great moment to see her be this way and just to embrace life in the midst of this. And so I'm asking you as a caregiver, you know, what do you do to do this? What, what, what helps you get above this? Because if you don't, I promise you it's going to have serious negative effects on you and those around you, your relationships, your outlook on life and everything. And it doesn't mean that you have to take what you deal with less seriously. It doesn't mean that you have to be less respectful. It just means that you're getting above it.

You're transcending this because you have something you're grasping that is greater. And in the next block, I'm going to play you a song that Gracie sang with Russ Taft. I'm going to play the whole song. We're going to end with the whole song on the joy of the Lord is my strength. And I remember when I, when we were putting this song together and I asked Gracie, you know, would you want to do this one? And I called up Russ Taft and asked if he'd be willing to do it with her. And I worked out this arrangement.

And so we'll play that in the next block because it's such a great song that Twyla Parris wrote. The joy of the Lord is my strength. What is your strength? What are you leaning on for this as a caregiver? I know how painful the journey is. I'm 36 years into this and Gracie and I haven't gone a day without serious challenges.

So what's your strength? How do you do this? What do we do?

How do we do it? And I'm just sharing a little bit today of some things that help us navigate through these things because it is, it's painful and it's heartbreaking and it's demoralizing and all of the things that you can describe it. But that's not all our life is. And as believers, we have more to hang on to. You know, as I said in the last block, Psalm 126 2, our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, the Lord has done great things for them. And I'm going to step over to the caregiver keyboard.

Do you know that song? Therefore, the redeemed of the Lord shall return and come with singing unto Zion and everlasting joy shall be upon their head. And everlasting joy shall be upon their head. Don't you think that it sends a huge message to the world when we are able to have joy in the midst of our journey? When people look at us and say, okay, what's different?

What's different? And you can't fake this. It's got to come from within. And part of that, there's a decision that you make that says, you know what? It is okay for me to live life in the midst of this. It is okay for me to laugh. I remember the first time I would go out and speak as a caregiver and I was doing this and I was going out there and people look around, is it okay to laugh? And I'm like, yes, it's okay to laugh. It's not only okay, it's imperative.

And somebody had to give them permission. Somebody had to give me permission, but you know what? We have to give ourselves permission first and realize there's joy inside of us that wants to come out and it wants to be expressed. And you and I both know we're going to cry. We cry a lot and that's okay. But can we laugh?

Job 8 21, he will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. Today's show is just about experiencing that as a caregiver. And I got a couple more stories and then we'll do this song in the next block here. So don't go away.

We got more to go. This is Peter Rosenberg and this is Hope for the Caregiver. We'll be right back.

Peter Rosenberger, he's not a preacher, but he's got great pair. Oh, happy day. Oh, happy day. Happy day. Oh, happy day. Oh, when Jesus walked.

Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberg. That is Oh, happy day. It was first recorded as a gospel arrangement. The Edwin Hawkins Singers, that is the Tennessee Gospel Choir.

Philip Dodgeridge wrote that back in like 1755, way back before this country was even a country. And this is just a staple of a great gospel hymn. Oh, happy day. And my question to you is, are you happy? We're talking about laughter today. We're talking about joy today. We're talking about we as caregivers, are we able to push through some of the things that we have to deal with and see the bigger picture?

And I admit it's hard to do that. In fact, I would suggest to you that on our own, it's impossible, but we're not left to our own devices. We're not left to be alone. In fact, when Jesus left this earth, he said, I have to go so that the comforter could come. And that's the whole point is that he is comforting us through his spirit in our distress and giving us clarity to see the bigger picture. As Paul said, the joy set before him eclipsed everything that he was going through. And that same joy, that same vision, that same clarity is available to us, even in our distress, even as a caregiver. I'm saying this because this is my life. This is how I've learned to be able to experience this journey without losing my mind. And before you say so, I know that there are people that say, maybe I already have lost my mind.

They could make a good argument for it, but you know what I mean? The reason I do this program is because I have and continue to have an awareness of what God has done in my life and continues to do in my life and in Gracie's life. And that gives me hope and it gives me purpose. It gives me meaning. That gives me a sense of perspective. We live in the moment, but we have the perspective of eternity, which gives meaning to the moment. And our perspective of eternity is laid out in scripture.

What does it say? Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love him. It doesn't take away the sting of what we live with by any stretch of the imagination. And I get that.

And Gracie would be the first to tell you that. But it does provide awareness of a bigger picture and that courage to trust him in these things. And as we do this, we find that it's okay to laugh.

It's okay to rejoice. It's okay to enjoy life, even with broken bodies and broken minds and all the things involved. I tell you, I've been in nursing homes when I've played for folks who have dementia and Alzheimer's. And when I would play certain hymns, they would just light up and they would just be excited to hear that hymn, even in their state of dementia, that music that sustained them for a lifetime, still spoke to them. I watched this, as I referenced earlier, my niece, Kelsey, when I start playing certain songs. And she's literally like an 18 month old, but she's a 34 year old woman, but she's completely immobile and nonverbal. And yet when I start playing the piano for her, she just lights up.

Her smile just lights up the room and the whole family rejoices with her. And so I wanted to spend a show today, just talking with you about it from one caregiver to another of some things that I do to get through the day and to help Gracie get through the day. And I have other people that I depend on. I have a buddy of mine, everybody, when we were in the hospital and this last stretch in Denver was, you know, it was very serious and there are a lot of things going on and people were sending all kinds of notes and beautiful scriptures and praying for you and all these things, beautiful notes. And I got this one friend and we all need this one friend. And he's been my best friend since we were kids. And so there's not many people, you know, how many folks have a friend for 45 plus years? And this guy, but he refused to send me anything other than just hilarious memes and so forth.

And I would just be cracking up, you know, and I see you and I'd see it, it'd make me laugh. And it was okay, because you got to have people like that in your life that can help provide that lifeline to better days. And ultimately that's what Christ has done through the Holy Spirit is that lifeline to better days. It's going to be okay. And we look at the world around us and it is literally going nuts. You know, our political leaders, our media, academia, everything, it's just crazy. And you see it.

How are we to respond to this broken world? And I would suggest to you that when they see us filled with the joy of the Lord, it's an enigma and it causes people to marvel that some may think we're crazy. That's okay. Those of us who live this understand it, and we have that peace and that joy that is available to us.

And that's why I want to close up this time. Thank you all for indulging me on this. I really appreciate it.

I love doing the program and I love being able just to connect with you and talk with you about these things that kind of pop in my head. And I do appreciate your indulgence with that. I'm going to end with a song from Gracie Seedy. I'm going to play the full song. And this is a tune that she did with Russ Taft.

I've referenced this in the last block. And I remember talking to Gracie about this and I wanted to arrange this for it. I helped arrange all this out for she and Russ to do this.

And they got the studio and just wailed on it. It's a great Twyla Paris tune. I've been around for a long time and it's called The Joy of the Lord. But I knew that I wanted to make this pop for Gracie and for Russ and just to have something that just kind of kicked it for them. And I had so much joy just watching them in the studio and watching Gracie just come alive. It was a big personal thing for her because she's always been such a huge Russ Taft fan. And for her to be able to do this duet with him was just so great and he was so gracious. And I thought this is a perfect song.

The Joy of the Lord is my strength. And I think for us as caregivers we can hang on to that. You'll be surprised if you start retraining your mind like this and start giving yourself permission to do this. It'll stun you what can happen in your life.

This is 36 years of experience telling you this. So I want to end with this. This is off of Gracie's CD Resilient. If you don't have a copy of that, you can go out to hopeforthecaregiver.com slash giving. Help us do more of this program and the prosthetic work that Gracie launched over in West Africa for any donation, tax deductible gift, we'll send you a copy of this. Hopeforthecaregiver.com slash giving.

This is Gracie and Russ Taft singing The Joy of the Lord. This is Hope for the Caregiver. Hopeforthecaregiver.com. We'll see you next time. The joy of the Lord will be my strength. I will not falter. I will not faint.

He is my shepherd. I'm not afraid. For the joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength.

Oh yeah. The joy of the Lord will be my strength. He will uphold me all of my days. I am surrounded by mercy and grace. For the joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord will be my strength.

I will not waver walking by faith. He will be strong to deliver me safe. And the joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord. The joy of the Lord. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength.