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March 27, 2022 3:00 am
In the FOG of caregivers, (fear, obligation, and guilt), many find themselves frozen in fear - and let's face it, there remain plenty of fear-worthy things in the caregiving journey.
How do we face those things?
For me, I look to those who faced fear and borrow their courage. Who's courage do you borrow?
This is glad that you are with you to hurt you hold plastic because the caregiver is a distress. How is the caregiver being look. If the caregiver is not helping. How well does the caregiving go. If the caregiver is broke. How will you serve as a caregiver.
Healthy caregivers make better caregivers but where does it all start. This is start by just having an influx of cash that we go off paler bills we could pay somebody help take care of her loved one and everything is settled and everything is good and they were to be happy is that the way it works, not from the foot adjusting. I know people who have very little who do this extraordinarily well and maintain an actually live a very calm and joyful life. And I know people who have a great deal of money and were so tort with anxiety and stress and worry and fear and guilt that they can function. There's got to be more and that's what this program explores how do we go to that place of more and what is more, what is it look like where is what is it, how do we apply and I am convinced after a lifetime of this and now I'm in my 36th year as a caregiver or a medical nightmare that is relentless. 83 surgeries hundreds of doctors 13, 14 hospitals lose count millions of dollars in medical bills and all this is been going on since Reagan was president. I can't tell you how many times I stood in the hospital corridors late at night, watching them take gracious surgery standing there by myself feeling alone feeling afraid and that's what I want to spend some time with today talking about fear talking about that that deep anxiety and an gripping fear that seems to just rip our hearts apart. You've often heard me those you listen to the show regularly heard me talk about the fog of caregiver sphere obligation, guilt. This is where we find ourselves at any given day. We don't know how to think. We don't know what to do.
We don't know where to go, we don't know what safety even looks like fear obligation guilt that fog of caregivers couple weeks ago we talked but obligation today will talk about fear you free.
If you're in good company because that's the human condition will improve the future Scripture what commandment is given more than any other commandment Scripture don't be afraid you're not don't be afraid. That is mission more times than any other community.
Scripture we are told to not be afraid once was at is because we are all dealing with fear.
On some level, and we have to master that fear and make better choices better decisions sometimes harder decisions but do it in the face of fear doubt I want. Here's a quote listen with this said here that will tell you it is. I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up. This diminishes fear knowing what must be done. Does away with fear resolve were going to face it were to master it were to deal with use of the Rosa Parks I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up.
This diminishes fear knowing what must be done. Does away with fear as a caregiver you will find yourself rushing to action to do what must be done even though you might be afraid, but you're going to conquer that fear. Because you are resolved to know what needs to be done. It's gotta be done.
And yet we still have to return back to those dark moments of fear, late at night when were low walking to talk to more caregivers who resonate with the the breakdown in the hospital parking lot.
You've dealt with the unimaginable in the hospital. Then you go to your car. That's when you collapse, but what I am finding is is that the fear component of what we deal with is actually prohibiting us from stepping into the place were comfort can come to Jesus never said blessed are those who fear don't be afraid those disciples at me.don't be afraid, Gus is the world Scripture.
Don't be afraid.
What he said blessed are those who mourn and fear blocks us from morning fear blocks grief.
I'm convinced of this, it is hard to grieve when you're tort with fear in your pushing back with rage is excellent on how we react with fear is with either dismay of despair or rage because that range makes us feel powerful. Fear makes us feel vulnerable. But when were willing to face it and see it for what it is and recognize that we have the perspective of God's provision in this Scripture by faith in the love that he provides. We can face that fear and then were free to more but some of us don't want to mourn. It is anguish more. It is, it is heartrending. Tomorrow we don't want to but we somehow what to if we don't mourn it.
Then we don't have to say goodbye to it. If we don't mourn it or grieve over that we don't have to. And we live in that perpetual state of agitation. This, what are we grieving over what we morning over what we say goodbye to what we very sometimes we are at a funeral. Sometimes we are to gravesite but sometimes were bearing our own preconceived ideas of how this should be sometimes were saying goodbye to what we wanted to be there so painful that will do anything to not have to go there.
That's were fear comes, I can't. I want to go there is go to destroy me. The grievance can't be too much to break my break my heart is to break me, and yet the antithesis is what's promised us. Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.
I have noticed just as an observation that fearful people by large don't mourn, they may dismay, they may despair and they may wail, but they don't mourn morning is something very different. Morning is an acceptance of what it is and facing reconciling myself to it doing what needs to be done. Rosa Parks at I have learned over the years that one's mind that when one's mind is made up.
This diminishes fear knowing what must be done. Does away with fear. This is an extraordinary change of thought processes that we as caregivers have the opportunity go through the talk, but that will impact this in the next block, but I wanted to just introduce that concept to you right now about fear we have legitimate frightening things in our lives. Caregivers. If you do it long enough you go to know exactly. Some of us have faced horrific things in our journey and it is paralyzing. How do we face this fear confronted the resolve yourself doing what we know must be done by the small dispute arose whether this is hope for the caregiver over the caregiver.com will be right as a caregiver.
Think about all the legal documents you need power of attorney will, living wills, and so many more then think about such things as disputes about medical bills.
What if instead of shelling out hefty fees for a few days of legal help paid a monthly membership and got a law firm for life while we are taking legal representation and making some revisions in the form of accessible, affordable, full service coverage. Finally, you can live life know you have a lawyer in your back pocket who at the same time is an empty it's called legal shield and its practical, affordable, and must for the family caregiver visit caregiver legal.com that's caregiver legal.com. Isn't it about time someone started advocating for you www.caregiverlegal.com on independent associate Peter Rosenberg at about 3 1/2 decades as a caregiver. I've spent my share of nights in the hospital sleeping and waiting rooms, some foldout cot shares.
Even the floor sometimes on sofas and a few times in the doghouse. But let's still talk about that as caregivers we have to sleep with uncomfortable places, but we don't have to be miserable. We use pillows for my pillow.com. These things are great to have a patented interlocking field adjuster your individual sleep needs and for caregivers. Try to sleep in all the different places we have to sleep leave me our needs get ripped up significantly. Think about how clean your pillows are in the covert world were all fanatical about clean. Can you wash your pillows with my pillows for my pillow.com if we throw in the washer and dryer.
We do all the time 10 year warranty guarantee not to go flat 60 day moneyback guarantee made in the USA is a caregiver you need rest. I going to my pillow.com type in the promo code caregiver you get 50% off the four pack which includes two premium pillows and to go anywhere, pillows also receive a discount on anything else on the website. When using your promo code caregiver is my pillow.com promo code caregiver is the program you as a family. Writer Peter Rosenberg bringing you more than 35 years of experience to stay strong and help take care of someone who is not you would be a part of the program go out to the caregiver.com open caregiver.com you'll see a form that you could fill out the question comment whatever's on your hard months.
It is ghostly and I'll be glad to to respond to all the program if you want I'll try to do it.
Otherwise, through email, call you from the program. If you want us to do that as well.
Whatever's on your heart about how can we help you deal with the challenges your dealer so that you are in a much better place to get healthy caregivers make better caregivers. And the thing that starts the path of healthiness is recognize that you don't have to do this all by yourself.
Friends don't let friends caregiver will hope for the caregiver.com or talk about fear. Fear has to Corbett Scripture says in fear blocks us from accepting what really is is what it is and we can grieve over we can mourn over but we can't do that if for tortured by fear is the time of this program to talk about that in and to give you some things to hang onto in the moment of that fear. It's not enough to say okay I'm not to be afraid. No, no, that's not how it works were were going to have to recall to, but we can retrain our mind to do this and please never ever ever think for one moment that I own all of this. I am on the same journey with you.
I have to do the same things I have to remind myself of this every single day. As caregivers we live with daunting task and challenges and heartbreaking realities and we don't want to have to deal with those things.
They frighten us, and I get that but in order for us to navigate through this healthier would have to face certain hard realities and Clara Barton said this newfound or the Red Cross. She said I may be compelled to face danger, but never fear it. And while our soldiers can stand and fight. I can stand and feed and nurse recognizing that we have we have something to do and were going to have to dig deep to stand face this and accept it for what it is. Some go to the caregiver keyboards but a while, but I will go to the caregiver keyboard and I want to know that helps me remember this was to him that it stood for 500 years and although the two, but listen to this him mighty Fortress is our God will never were still our ancient foe seemed to work just is not this is saying that you know what there's things out there to fear its there's something out there that is troubling, but then he goes on in verse two says. Did we in our own strength confide, our striving would be losing were not the right man on our side. The man of God's own choosing this task that maybe Christ Jesus.
It is he Lord say about both his name from age to age. Same that he must win the battle. Look at verse three.
And though this world with devils filled, should threaten to undo us. We will not, here it is. We will not fear for God hath willed his truth to triumph through us.
The Prince of darkness grim, we tremble not for him. His rage we can endure for low. His doom is sure one little work shall fill in the last verse. He says that word one little word shall fell him that word above all earthly powers, no thanks to them, abide the spirit and the gift are ours through him who with the cited goods and kindreds go this mortal life. Also, the body they may kill God's truth abide. Still, his kingdom is forever there are hymns of great comfort and joy and all kind of stuff that you confide the this him mighty Fortress is our God. That's one of those spine stiffening helps that you say with resolute conviction, not in your own strength. Okay, not in your own confidence. But in the confidence of he who guides you through this were not the right man on our side. The man of God's own choosing. Did we in our own strength confide, our striving would be losing. We try to do this on her own were never going to do this were not the right man on our side. The man of God's own choosing. Do you ask that maybe Christ Jesus. It is what is it mean to us as a caregiver.
How does that equip us how to set status. How does it help us to understand that there is something greater going on that we do not walk into those hospital rooms by ourselves.
We do not walk into those rehab centers by herself.
We do not walk into that bedroom or someone laced in their dying doing that by herself were not taking that phone call in the middle the night by ourselves were not having to perform these task we do as caregivers from changing wounds, dressing wounds, changing adult diapers. Whatever we want to do that by herself.
It seems that way at times that loneliness is what feeds that it loneliness is the fuel for fear that it feeds those dark thoughts and into those dark thoughts. We have to march with confidence. It maybe it's not you, coming up with the company. Maybe you're just willing to say you know what I'm gonna borrow someone else's conference recently was just last week it was anniversary of the death of Thomas Cranmer and Thomas Kramer was forced to recant his beliefs and that he recanted from his recanting and then they put him to death by fire and he stuck his head into the fire first because he wanted to burn the hand that sign that document that recanted his faith under great pressure he had recanted, but then he repented of his recanting and they killed before they did. He stuck his own hand in the fire and when you sing a hymn like this in the midst of whatever in the middle the night. You may sound like it may sound like your voice is really timid and really small when I played here on the keyboard. You know it's just one keyboard.
It's not the full orchestra that I've heard it with with 100 voice choir, but let me tell you that when you sing this you have the full throated course behind you, of all of heaven that stands with you in this mighty Fortress is our God, did we get our own strength confide, striving would be losing an end. Luther admits in this thing that we have a dark foe that seeks to assail us and where's that battle. Where's that is sailing going on school and undermines fear asked me how I know this because I fought this battle I would never dream to tell you I look at some of these other people go out and they they accomplish things and they say okay we done it. Now wouldn't tell you how to do what we've done and in there so successful. I think I'll never be able to do that you look at the money guys all that they're all very wealthy of I'm not that got I'm just a caregiver still Hamlet. This is how I get through the day is to remind myself these things. My journey as a caregiver continues I don't have seven steps to being a healthy, wealthy caregiver. I'm just saying this is how I have to live and I have to remind myself of these hymns. I have to remind myself of the Scriptures and borrow the courage of countless others who've gone before me and have been willing to stick their hand in the fire standstill and see the salvation of the Lord trust him in the most horrific things I borrow their courage in Scripture says in Hebrews that there's a great cloud of witnesses that are cheering me on. So when we sing this, however, to medically sound. However, weaker voice sales and those night watches when we sing a mighty Fortress is our God, there is take right cloud of witnesses that is singing with you. Please understand they are cheering you want as you do this, something extraordinary is happening in the heavenly's. It doesn't take away the sting of what this does to us.
It doesn't necessarily remove us from from all the circumstances, but remember what I said about this him. This is one of those spine stiffening hymns. This one straightens this up, this one increases our resolve just saying it with your mouth, confessing it out and though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us. We will not fear for God hath willed his truth to triumph through extraordinary hymn written by an extraordinary man during extraordinary time that applies to human and right right.
None of this is easily resolved resolution. There is conviction that is the message that is the caregiver Mrs. Peter Rosenberger will be right. Some of you know the remarkable story of Peter's wife Gracie and recently Peter talk to Gracie about all the wonderful things that have emerged from her difficult journey.
Take a listen Gracie.
When you envision doing a prosthetic limb outreach. Did you ever think the inmates would help you do that, not in a million years. When you go to the facility run by core civic and you see the faces of these inmates that are working on prosthetic limbs that you helped collect from all of the country that you put out the plea for and their disassembly sell these legs like what you have your own prosody and arms and orange everything when you see all this makes me cry because I see this on their faces and I know what it is like you can't get out without somebody else allowing you to get out the hospital. These men are so glad that they get to be doing is one thing said something good with my did you know before you became in a PT that parts of prosthetic limbs can be recycled now had no idea I thought Peg leg. I thought a wooden legs. I never thought of titanium and carbon legs and flexibly the legs and all that. I never thought about. As you watch these inmates participate in something like this, knowing that there helping other people all providing the means for the supplies to get over there. What is it do to you. Just on the heart level. I wish I could explain to the world. What I see in here and I wish that I can be able to come and say the this guy right here in Africa with that.
I never not feel that way out every time you know you always make me have to leave. I don't want to leave.
I feel like I'm at home with them and I feel like we have a common bond that would never expected that only God could put together. Now that you've had experience with what you think of the faith-based programs. The core civic offers. I think there is absolutely awesome and I think every prisoner out there have faith-based programs because the return rate of the men that are involved in this particular faith-based program and other ones like it, but I know that this one car is amazingly low rate compared and I think that that is me just has something to do with God to help people you want to donate use prosthetic limbs, whether from a loved one who passed away or you somebody well-groomed you donated some of your own for the please go to standing with God/recycle we