Hey, do you know a caregiver in your life who is struggling with something and you don't really know what to say?
Well, guess what? I do. So get them this book. It's called A Minute for Caregivers. When every day feels like Monday.
They're one minute chapters. And I'd love for you to put that in the hands of somebody who is struggling as they care for a chronically impaired loved one. And it could be somebody dealing with an aging parent or special needs child. Somebody that has an alcoholic or an addict in their family. Somebody who has a loved one who has had a traumatic experience, mental illness.
There's so many different kinds of impairments. There's always a caregiver. How do you help a caregiver?
How do you help somebody who helps somebody? That's where I come in. That's where this book comes in. And that's what I think you're going to find will be incredibly meaningful to them. And if you're going through that right now, they get a copy for you.
Friends don't let friends care give alone. I speak fluent caregiver for decades of this. This will help. I promise you it'll pull you back away from the cliff a little bit, point you to safety, give you something solid to stand on so that you or that caregiver you know can be a little healthier as they take care of somebody who is not healthy. Caregivers make better caregivers.
It's called a minute for caregivers when every day feels like Monday wherever books are sold. And for more information go to PeterRosenberger.com. This is the program for you as a family caregiver for those of you who are putting yourself knowingly, willingly, voluntarily between someone with a chronic impairment and even worse disaster. And on this program, we're all about lifting you up, strengthening you, equipping you to endure, but not to just survive it.
I mean to live in the midst of this, to be productive and all that that entails. And I'm so glad to be with you. Today, PeterRosenberger.com.
Follow along for more information. This is, of course, Easter week. And I've been given some thought to something and I want to run it by you. See what you think. I came across a post the other day about David Cassidy. You probably haven't heard that name in a while and some of you may not. Who?
Who? David Cassidy, teen heartthrob from the Partridge family. Feathered hair, bell bottoms, and I think he had a fan club bigger than me.
Better than the entire population of Delaware. I mean, this guy was just everywhere back in the day. Well, he would have turned 75 last Saturday. But sadly, he died back in his 60s after years of battling alcohol and drug addiction. But what really struck me about the story wasn't just the tragedy of his life, which is really sad, but it was the report of his last words. The final words were, so much wasted time.
So much wasted time. That hits hard, doesn't it? And it got me thinking, and here we are, Easter, when the most famous last words in history were spoken. Jesus on the cross as he gave his life for us said, Father, into your hands, I commit my spirit. And that contrast stopped me in my tracks. The last words were filled with such regret and the other with resolve and reunion.
So here's my question for you. If you had the chance, because sometimes we don't, but if you had the chance to choose your last words, what would you want them to be? And I wanted to share a few that have been documented over the years by some famous people and just look at the contrast, look at what some people did.
Steve Jobs, for example, founder of Apple. His sister said that his last words, oh wow, oh wow, oh wow. Kind of mysterious, isn't it? I mean, you know, it kind of makes you wonder what he was thinking about. Leonardo da Vinci, he said, I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
That's rather, wow, I mean, that's Leonardo da Vinci. Winston Churchill, still being Churchill at the very end, said, I'm bored with it all. Karl Marx, the one who gave us communism, he said, I think it was to his housekeeper, go on, get out. Because she had asked, she knew he was close to death and asked, do you have any last words? He said, go on, get out. Last words are for fools who have been having said enough. And Frank Sinatra, the chairman of the board, tonight, he said, I'm losing it.
I'm losing it. But I want to read to you some last words from some Christians. William Tyndale, you know, he translated the Bible. He was burned at the stake and as he was dying, he cried out, Lord, open the king of England's eyes. What an amazing prayer. In the same heart that Jesus expressed when he said, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.
Here the king of England is burning this man at the stake and he's praying for him. Lord, open his eyes. D.L. Moody, do you know what he said?
How telling of D.L. Moody. He reads, heaven opens before me. If this is death, it is sweet.
Isn't that amazing? That just gives you chills. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, this is the end for me. The beginning of life as he was being executed by the Nazis. John Wesley, the best of all is, God has with us. He repeated it twice. The best of all, God is with us. Those were his last words. And one of my favorites, are you ready? You better sit down.
Are you sitting down? Charles Spurgeon. He said, Jesus died for me. Those were his last words. Stunning, isn't it? Look at the contrast.
Couple more. Groucho Marx, who I've loved his comedy. He said that last words, allegedly what he said was, Die my dear, why that's the last thing I'll do.
Oscar Wilde, who was a playwright and quite witty, said either that wallpaper goes or I do. And he supposedly died in a run down Paris hotel. James Dean.
Right before his fatal car crash in 1955, he was 24. He said, that guy's got to stop. He'll see us. Those were the last words he spoke. But then, let's switch gears back to men of faith. John Newton, who gave us amazing grace. That wonderful hymn. You know what his last words were? I am still in the land of the dying.
I shall be in the land of the living soon. Thomas A. Kempis, who's the author of The Imitation of Christ. His last words, Lord, I place myself entirely in your hands. Charles Wesley, John Wesley's brother. Charles Wesley, who was one of my all time favorite hymn writers. He wrote, Love divine, all loves excelling, and then, and can it be that I should gain.
I mean, just some of the best hymns ever written. And he said this, his last words were, I shall be satisfied with thy likeness. Satisfied.
Satisfied. And then, Stephen, the first martyr. You remember that story? And he said, they were stoning him. And he said, Lord Jesus received my spirit. And he kneeled down and cried out, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. Again, the same thing Tyndale was praying for the King of England for his eyes to be opened. Stephen's praying for the ones who were killing him to don't hold this against them, Lord.
Jesus said, Father, forgive them. Now, I'm not trying to do anything that's morbid here, but this is Easter week. Tomorrow's Easter. Good Friday, yesterday, and we think about the last words of Jesus.
We have entire services that are done on that. Into thy hands I commit my spirit. And as I look at the contrast of these giants of the faith versus these celebrities, these household names in our culture, and quite frankly, worldwide, Oscar Wilde and Da Vinci and Karl Marx and others, these are household names. And look at the contrast of how death is approached.
And I thought about that for my own life. And, you know, I think as caregivers we're so busy trying to endure this, survive it. But are we thriving and living with the sense of purpose that God is infusing us with the strength and grace to be productive and give glory to him no matter what? These guys, some of them suffered terrible deaths, and yet they were so focused on the things of God, even when they were being executed, to have the presence of mind to pray for those executing them. Does that not inspire you to say, wow, what a tremendous work the gospel does on a life? None of it's going to be easy.
R.C. Sproul said death doesn't trouble him at all. He's gone on to be with the Lord. But he did say, I'm not scared of death. Dying, however, terrifies me. I thought that was a pretty honest quote.
But can we be resolute in this, knowing that we have one who has gone before us, who redeemed us, and we can follow in his steps as well to trust our spirits with God? This is Peter Rosenberger, PeterRosenberger.com. We're going to unpack that a little bit more when we come back. Don't go away.
Be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver, here on American Family Radio. That is Rob Galbraith and the Fellowship of Funk.
I love those guys. This is Peter Rosenberger, and I am thrilled to be with you today. If you want to know more about what we do, why we do it, how we do it, what's the story, what's the thrust of what we do, everything is all out at PeterRosenberger.com.
You can learn the story behind it. Today, we are talking about famous last words. You know, what got me thinking about this was Jesus' last words on the cross. As we reflect on Easter this week, and he said into my hands, I commit my spirit. And that was after he had said a few other things, particularly of note is, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they're doing. He extended grace to the thief on the cross. He extended grace.
He said, today, you'll be with me in paradise. He said to John to take care of his mother. Mother, behold your son.
Son, behold your mother. By the way, on a side note, I remember doing an interview many years ago with a reporter, and it was not a Christian article. But for whatever reason, the reporter asked me, what would Jesus do as a caregiver?
And I responded, I don't know what he would do. I know what he did do, which was he saw to the needs of his mother, even from the cross. He stayed on mission for what he was called to do and sit here to do by his father.
But he saw to the needs of his mother. And that's always struck me as how poignant from the cross. And then his final words, Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit. And I can't help but contrast that with things that I've heard from documented accounts of well-known people before they passed away.
And as I said in the last block, I read this article about David Cassidy, the teen heartthrob. And his last words were reported by his daughter to say, so much wasted time. Now, we don't always get to pick what our last words are going to be. I mean, sometimes things happen so quickly and, you know, people don't know. I look at Todd Beamer, for example, but look at his last words on Flight 93 on 9-11.
Let's roll. And his last words were a call to action to save the lives of people he would never meet. At least not on this earth. And it's astonishing to see kind of where people's, what comes out in moments like this. I asked Gracie this the other day before she went into surgery. And this was her, I mean, she's had now 94. She said, we've been here in the hospital for three months. She's had at least six surgeries.
They start to run together. And a lifetime surgery now of 94. And I asked her, how do you feel? Now, when you go under anesthesia that many times and you've had what she's had, you don't take for granted that you're going to come out of this thing. And so the word or words that she would utter would have great significance. And you know what she said? I said, Gracie, how do you feel? She said, she looked at me, she went, resolute.
Which is an extraordinary thing. And the week before she'd had surgery and I had prayed, I said, Lord, 91 is too many. This was going in for 91st surgery. She had three more since then. I said, 91 is too many. And she said to me after we prayed, she said, no, it's not.
It's however many he decides what he thinks is necessary. Those are pretty powerful words, aren't they? And I thought, you know, we don't get to pick and choose this. But at the same time, if we are thinking of the things of God. As Paul said in Philippians, remember when he said, let this mind be in you, which is also in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2, 5, I believe. And if that is ever present in our mind, I don't think we have to worry about what our last words are going to be. Because if we're thinking Kingdom thoughts all the time, I think it's just going to be an extension of us. Scripture alludes to this. And then the testimony of so many others who have gone before us, prove that.
Spurgeon, for example. As I said in the last part, I mean, I get choked up thinking about it. That's his last words on this earth was, he died for me.
I mean, what a testimony. And I think the challenge for me is to learn from that, to say, you know, if this is something that is ever present on my mind, will that come out in the valley of the shadow of death? Will that come out in a sickbed or going to your 94th surgery when Gracie looks at me and she said, I'm resolute. And no, this is not too many surgeries.
It's whatever he decides. It's incredibly thought-provoking to see these things and to see, do we have that heavenly view of the Kingdom view of life? Or are we embroiled in worldly matters?
We're called to not be a part of this, to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And I would I would think that that would be the foundational truth that would anchor us when things hit us, when we are faced with stuff. Now, you never know.
Like I said, you never know. You may not have a moment to gather your thoughts. But scripture teaches, it seems so very clear throughout scripture that our minds need to be shifted upwards on the things of God. And if that is our constant thought process of coming back to that, when we get off track, when we realize, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, we're not thinking as God thinks, we're thinking as man thinks. Is this God's view or is this man's view? Is this Kingdom view or is this worldview? And once we see the delineation there, then no matter what comes our way, even when we get frightened or scared or dismayed or whatever, that we will be anchored back in scripture.
Is this your experience? And also, while I'm on the subject of Gracie, I would also encourage you to go out to the website, PeterRosenberger.com, read her latest blog about why I didn't call in sick. And I think you'll find it very meaningful. She's been doing a regular blog series on my page about pain, about just dealing with chronic pain. She ought to know.
She's been dealing with it for 42 years. And I think you'll find it to be a very insightful piece. And then I've got why you're there.
You can click onto my sub stack pages right there on the page there as well. And you'll see an article about what her physical therapist wrote on her whiteboard. You know, patients, when you're in hospital, they put a they often have a whiteboard right in front of you. And it tells the nurse's name that's on duty for that day and the CNA and so forth and sometimes even put the calendar day.
So because you can get very disoriented. Believe me, when you spend three months in the hospital, you can lose track of where your days are. And I have a calendar that I put on the wall. It's the caregiver calendar that I made. It's pictures of where we live in Montana. It's extraordinarily beautiful. And I put one for every season.
And the one that's on there for April, I took a year ago yesterday on Good Friday. I was driving home from church and I snapped this and way up there in the corner, if you're looking at the picture, about one o'clock, that's where we live. And it was just a beautiful scene. The sun was coming through.
The horses were out in the pasture. It was just a beautiful scene. But the text read just a quote from my book that will be out this summer. It's a book of quotes that I have of compiled things I've written and said over the years. And I put each one with a scripture or a hymn.
But in this particular case, I just put this quote on this calendar. And it said, his scarred hand holds our scared hand. His scarred hand holds my scared hand. And it's not how tight we grasp him.
It's how tight he grasp us. And that's what Gracie looks at every day this month. Now, each month has a new one on there.
The only month in the calendar that does not feature a quote is May. And it's a picture of a commemoration, Memorial Day event at the little cemetery in the town where we live. And I say town rather judiciously because it basically is a post office. There's not much else there. But there's a beautiful little cemetery and it sits in the just this it's a beautiful place. And you see the backdrop of the mountains behind it. And I thought it spoke for itself. But the point of this is all because this is what Gracie is looking at. And then on her whiteboard, what the physical therapist has said, I talked about that a little bit in my Substack article.
And I did that I think last week. It's all running together a little bit. So you all have to be family. But the physical therapist told her to sing, sing three times a day. And so she is. Her voice is a little hoarse, but she's doing it.
And that's not just for her body. I mean, it's good for you to sing. Everybody should sing. Even if you can't sing, you should still sing.
Make a joyful noise. But in her case, it's good for her lungs. But it's also good for her spirit because she was built to sing.
Gracie is a singer. That's what she does. And it's very healthy for her to do so.
And then she looks at that knowing that his scarred hand is the one that's holding her. But if these are things that are ever present on your mind when the moment hits. That's what we believe. And the things about us have an opportunity to bubble out.
And I put this book of quotes out that you'll be able to hear more about as it comes out in August. Because they're very simple things to remember. And this is how I do it. Because I don't have the wherewithal sometimes to... When you're going through stuff that is so painful, words are often very difficult to find. And that's why I love going to the hymns. And more importantly, going to scripture. And those things come out in our most difficult times. And certainly it retrains, renews, reforms our mindset. How we think, how we approach life, how we approach difficulties. And if we are kingdom-minded at any given point when things hit, that's usually what will come out.
I mean, it just stands to reason. Out of the mouth flows the abundance of the heart. And if our heart is set on the things of God, even in our worst times, particularly in our worst times, what do you think will come out? I asked Gracie, facing her 94th surgery, how do you feel? And she said, I feel resolute. Resolute.
Why do you suppose that is? Because she is standing with hope. Isn't that a great name for the ministry she founded with the prosthetics and everything we do? If you want to find out more about that, get the calendar. It's all out there at the website, PeterRosenberger.com.
And you can just click on the standing with hope icon and see more about that. And if you want a copy of the calendar, make sure you include your address, okay? So we can know where to send it.
I get people that don't do that and we don't know where to send it. So don't forget that. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver.
We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. Glad to be with you today.
PeterRosenberger.com. You know, I've been doing this program now for 14 years. 14 years. I started this out in 2011 and then I migrated over to WLAC in Nashville, right there on Music Row, part of iHeart in 2012. And then I came on American Family Radio in 2018. So seven years. I've been doing this with American Family Radio. And I have put out now, I think we're getting close to a thousand episodes. I remember when I first did the program, they said it'll never work. We don't see it being a viable show.
You'll never be able to fill up an hour. So that changed. The first people I talked to, that's what they said. But then here we are now, all these years later, and we're just scratching the surface, I think, of where we can go with family caregivers.
And that brings me to a point. I am a family caregiver. I've been doing this now for four decades for Gracie, and I've been in the hospital with her now for three months on this particular round. And now that she has had her 94th operation that I could count, maybe the 95th, but they start to blur together after a while.
Not sure exactly when we're going home, but it won't be too much longer, I don't think. That said, I want to make a couple of observations of some things that I've witnessed. I have had the opportunity now to be in the hospital over the last four years, a total of just about nine months, three different stays, and that's a lot for anybody.
And Gracie and I have had this journey now that has extended on for so long. It's woven into the fabric of our life. But I think what I've been struck by is the equalizer of hospitals, rich or poor, mentally incompetent or brilliant, black, white, Hispanic, Asian. None of that matters at a hospital.
It equalizes everybody. And you see a gripping display of the human condition. I have shared elevators, walked on hallways, greeted, and not just patients and their families. I see nursing staff, housekeepers, surgeons, medical students. I see every different dynamic that's in a hospital, security guards. I've talked to all of them.
There's a guy that works at the little coffee shop where I get coffee for Gracie, and he knows now what she likes, and he has it ready for me when I get there, which is very meaningful and very thoughtful. But I see all of this, cafeteria workers. I have gotten into elevators with people who I can tell from their accent. They're not from around here. Most of them I can tell if they're from West Africa, and I'll see a few of them. They'll say, oh, I'm from Ghana, and I'll start speaking in a language they understand because I picked up a few words over my years in Ghana.
I see people. There's a housekeeper who, for example, is from Haiti, and she speaks French. I will talk a few phrases in French to her. My Spanish has improved significantly. I used to speak it very well, and now not as much, but I know a few words in Swahili, and I've had the opportunity to use that here.
But the language I speak the most, the one I speak the most is the one I am fluent in, which is caregiver. I speak it fluently, and I can see it on their faces. I can see it in their eyes. I see it in the slumped shoulders.
I see it everywhere I go, people who are burdened down with this very difficult task of caring for somebody with a chronic impairment. I understand this intimately and maybe better than most. In fact, I'd be willing to say I do understand it better than most. But I also understand the things of God that sustain in this maybe better than most because I have no choice but to lean on it. Breton Boone once said, you never know Jesus is all you need until he's all you have. And Gracie and I understand that phrase profoundly.
I start conversations with people on a regular basis when I see them, and I was struck by this. The hotel staff here, they're very gracious to me, and I've been getting to know them now, and there's several folks that work in the kitchen here where they serve the buffet, which I really have tried to abstain from. Don't you all say a word. I'm doing the best I can, and if you judge me, well, you'd be right. But I'm still doing the best I can, okay?
So it's there, and it calls me. But anyway, they're very sweet. They're very gracious. And I asked when I showed up for breakfast, you know, how are you doing? One lady said, I'm okay. I looked at her and I said, I'm not buying it. She said, no, I'm good. And I said, I'm not convinced. And you could just tell by me just saying those words, it gave her permission to hurt and that somebody else saw her. I cannot count how many people are texting me and reaching out to us and praying for Gracie and I through this thing.
I can't. It's overwhelming how many people are praying for us. But I got to ask you, what about these people that are serving all around, this lady that works at the kitchen at this hotel, the security guards at the counter when I check in every day and have to get a new ID badge?
They all know me. How many are praying for them? The wonderful lady from Haiti who is cleaning our room and comes in with a smile every day at Gracie's hospital room and says, bonjour, sava, sava bien. And how many people are praying for her? The nurse that came in who was very troubled.
And you could tell it in her eyes. And she was afraid to let her guard down because, you know, you have to keep a disconnect from the family and the patients and so forth. And I understand that, but how many people are praying for her? The surgeon and the doctor who looked at me and more specifically at Gracie, they said, how has she done this? I'm inspired when I see her. We've never seen a patient like this who has endured what she's done and she's not bitter. How many people are praying for them? Gracie makes these surgeons before they operate on her every time, makes them stop and pray with the staff in the OR before they put her under.
She's pretty adamant about it too. These are things that we see here. These are things that we experience. This is our life. This is not a bad life, but it is a hard life. But it's not a bad life because we get to see, we get to have a front row view of the things of God that we would not have any other way because this is what He said to do, to go into these places, to go into this heartache.
And it's not easy, but this is what He did for us. Henry Nowan, I love his stuff, and he wrote once, Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.
And Gracie and I have been in full immersion of this in ways that we thought we knew, but obviously God felt like we needed some continuing education units, some CEUs, and so here we are. And can I walk confidently into the brokenness that I see around me every day? Can I do that? Scripture tells me not only can I, I'm commanded to. I must do this. And I don't do it out of a sense of obligation.
I do it out of a sense of gratitude because the more I walk boldly with the confidence of the gospel into people's lives, even if it's just the guy I stood with on the elevator for a few moments whose name was Ryan, and he was there taking care of his wife, and he was very tired. You could tell it in his face. Believe me, I know what tired looks like when you take care of your wife. I get the look.
See it every day in the mirror. And I only had a few moments with him. But I didn't waste those moments. I put my hand on his shoulder. A father on the elevator with me with his son there was 24 years old who was having just rampant seizures. It was very difficult. You could just see it on his face. He was a black man. I'm a white man.
And we got all this nonsense being spewed by political leaders about racism, but you know what? In that elevator, it didn't matter. And I didn't care. I just reached out and put my hand on his shoulder and gave him a hug. He didn't ask about Gracie. I didn't tell him about my journey. I didn't have to. It's just one hurting guy to another.
This is what I'm learning here at this time. If you don't know what to say to a caregiver, I get that. If you don't know what to say to somebody who is hurting, I truly do understand that, but I do, and I speak it fluently. And if you hear on this program things that have value to you, would you help me do it better and do it more? Would you share about what we do with other people, go out to the podcast and share an episode?
Would you share the book, the writings, whatever? I can only do so much. I am still a full-time caregiver, but I am putting it out there as best as I possibly can. Would you consider supporting what we do? We could use the help.
We're just a mom and pop, and right now, Mom's been in the hospital for three months, and so has Pop, for that matter. We could use the help today if you find value in what we're doing. And you can go out there today at PeterRosenberger.com. Just look at it. Click on the donate button.
Say, you know what? I'm going to be a part of this. I'm going to be a part of this monthly. We still got some caregiver calendars left. We'll send you a healthy caregivers make better caregivers tumbler. I think you'd like that. I made it up myself, and I'm quite pleased with it.
I use it myself for my own coffee and for Gracie's. I have invested everything I'm doing into this. I could use the help. If you think that this is important and this is valuable, we could use the help. There's an urgency to this. I see it so acutely.
I can't turn it off now. I can't unsee it, if you will, nor do I wish to. Because of all things, we as Christians should remember that he did not unsee our desperate estate.
He did not unsee us. How can we do less? That's hope for this caregiver. And with your help, I'm doing it for so many others.
If you don't know what to say to them, don't worry about it. I do. Send me. We've got to take a break. We'll be right back. This is Peter Rosenberger, PeterRosenberger.com
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