If we will faithfully teach our sons They will to lead the women. Where you have a plurality in the nation of godly fathers, they will impact the mothers. And where you have godly sons, they will impact the daughters of the next generation. And so the high priority of scripture then is that fathers teach their sons. Welcome to Grace to You with the Bible teaching of John MacArthur.
I'm your host, Phil Johnson. A poll once gave these sobering statistics. Nearly 40% of American children will grow up in homes without a father. and by the time those kids turn eighteen they will have spent most of their years without a dad. But even for dads who stay with their children, the question is, what are you teaching your kids?
By your words, by your example? Is there an overarching principle that should guide your instruction? Bottom line, how can you make sure you're not just living with your kids, but leading your kids and shaping their lives as God wants you to? As the United States and the United Kingdom and other nations celebrate Father's Day this Sunday, it's a good time here on Grace to you to look to the book of Proverbs for a message that John MacArthur called Crucial Lessons for a Wise Father. One little boy's definition of Father's Day went like this.
Well It's just like Mother's Day, only you don't spend so much.
Well, we fathers can concede that.
Someone said A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be. And the phone company tells us that calls on Father's Day are not as high in number as calls on Mother's Day. and most of them are collect. I have a Well, Father's Day is for those of us who are fathers and who have the privilege of having loving children a very special time. Being a father has always been a high priority for me.
Not only because it was for my father and his father, but because of what the word of God has to say. Unfortunately, that high-priority role of the Father is being systematically attacked and destroyed in our culture. This particular society in which we live has attacked the male role with such devastating force that I really do believe we have sentenced the next three and four generations to tragic experiences of disastrous proportions. Because if one thing is clear in Scripture, it is this: the sins of the fathers are visited upon the third and the fourth generations. What that means is, where you have wicked men in leadership, where you have a decline in the father's role, it takes three or four generations to root out the evil that they produce.
We are not. Looking at a situation where, because of a sinning father, three or four generations of sons will pay the penalty. Not at all. Ezekiel 18 forbids that in advocating individual responsibility. But what we are seeing is that because Fathers lead a nation.
A wicked generation of fathers will so impact that nation for three or four generations. That it takes that long. to root out their wicked effect. I believe that The legacy of this generation of fathers is tragedy upon tragedy upon tragedy in the following generations. In the plan of God, however, that's not the way it's supposed to be.
And certainly in the church, we should be following that plan, whatever may be happening in the society around us. We should be ensuring a righteous generation. in the church. We have a responsibility as fathers. to our sons particularly.
Sons, who tend to be, for the most part, more rebellious. Than daughters, because they are the ones given by God leadership roles and capacities. If we will faithfully teach our sons They will by example and precept lead the women. as well. Where you have a plurality in the nation of godly fathers, they will impact the mothers.
And where you have godly sons, they will impact the daughters of the next generation. And so, the high priority of Scripture then is that fathers teach their sons. and thus raise up a generation of godly leaders. Because God has ordained this, and because God wanted us to be sure that it was followed carefully. God, by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, gave a manual for fathers to use on their sons.
A basic resource book. That book. Is the book of Proverbs, and I want to invite you to turn to it, if you will, right now. And we're going to be looking at the first ten chapters of Proverbs in a very general sense. This book is the lesson book on living From which fathers teach their sons.
In fact, that is very apparent. If you look at chapter 1, verse 8, hear, my son, your father's instruction. And while at the same time not forsaking your mother's teaching. You find again, chapter 2, verse 1, my son, if you will receive my sayings. Chapter 3, verse 1, my son, do not forget my teaching.
Chapter 4, verse 1, hear, O sons, the instruction of a father. Verse 10, hear, my son, and accept my sayings. Verse 20, my son, give attention to my words. Chapter five, verse one, my son, give attention to my wisdom. Chapter 6, verse 1, My son.
Chapter 6, verse 20, My son, observe the commandment of your father. Chapter 7, verse 1, my son, keep my words. And so it goes that this entire Passage is designed for a father to teach his son. As fathers go, so go nations, so go generations, so go history. And so God took The principles, the basic principles of spiritual living.
And packaged them in the 31 chapters that we call Proverbs.
Now a proverb is very simple. It is a principle stated in concise terms. We could say a proverb is wise in content. and concise in form. It is a brief To the point Pithy.
Statement for the purpose of instruction. Brief. To the point. that they might be remembered. What you have in Proverbs, then, is a compilation of these Concise Wise statements This then becomes the basic book of truth that fathers use to teach their children.
A book of wisdom. And frankly, if fathers are to raise a generation of godly men who will lead the women to godliness, they must teach the truths that are mandated. in this father's manual. Frankly, just to Depart from that a moment. There is a lot of instruction available today for fathers to teach their sons, much of it even in a Christian context, that is.
Pretty much trivial. Much of today's instruction is to be a friend. Listen to your son. Go places with your son. Take him to a ball game, have fun, follow his interests.
Etcetera etcetera. What Proverbs has to say is much deeper than that. Teach your son. Trivial things, you'll raise a trivial father who will teach his son trivial things. Teach your son deep things, you'll raise a son who becomes a father who teaches his son deep things.
So, the primary duty of a father is not what one little boy said: the primary duty of my dad is to take out the trash. The primary duty of a father is not even to bring home the bacon. The primary duty of a father is not to fix what's broken. The primary duty of a father is to teach holy living to his sons. And of course, to his children as well.
including the daughters, but primarily the sons.
Now, in this process of teaching, there is one compelling, overarching, consummate summary lesson. And that is that we are to teach them wisdom. The word which dominates the Proverbs is the word wisdom.
Sometimes the word instruction appears, sometimes the word understanding appears, sometimes the word discretion appears. But all of those words are simply elements of wisdom. To know, to understand, to be instructed, to have discretion means to act in wisdom. Wisdom means not simply thought, but conduct. It means to live righteously.
We are to teach our sons spiritual wisdom is the noblest and greatest and purest pursuit of their life. And I would like us to look at these first 10 chapters and just pick and choose the elements that are here that I think make up 10 crucial lessons. A faithful father must teach his sons. And I want to tell you from my own life that these are the things that I have endeavored as a father to teach my two sons. If a son learns these ten things.
He will be a blessing to you, and he will be blessed by God. If you want your son to be a blessing to you, to be blessed by God, to bless the culture in which he lives. These are the 10 lessons that you must teach your son. The sum of them is spiritual wisdom. This is a listing of the component parts of spiritual wisdom.
Lesson number one. Teach your son to fear your God. Fear your God. In chapter 1 and verse 7, The fear of the Lord. Is the beginning of knowledge.
And chapter 9, verse 10 says, The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. But everything starts with fearing God. Teach your son, son, fear your God. What do you mean fear?
Well, it has on the one hand a positive aspect, a reverential respect, a reverential awe. That means that I have to teach my son about God. I have to teach my son what God is like. I have to teach my son the attributes of God. I have to teach my son that God is powerful, that God is holy, that God is omniscient, omnipresent.
I have to teach my son that God is immutable, His nature does not change, that He is just, that He is merciful, that He is kind, that He is loving, that He is gracious, that He is merciful, that He orders providentially all the circumstances of human history and the universe for His own goods, that He is sovereign, in a word. I must teach my son. to reverence the greatness of God. And then the other side of it is, I must teach my son. to fear God's displeasure.
To fear God's right to punish. God's right to chasten. God's right to judge. And in that awe of reverencing God's holy character, there is a healthy sense of apprehension because I know as a holy God, he has a right to punish sin, including mine. If you want to do your son the greatest favor any father could ever do, teach him the character of God.
Teach him what God is like. Notice chapter 3 of Proverbs. Verse five. This is really a A description of a worshiping heart. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. The point being that if I am completely focused on God He's going to guard my life. He's going to straighten my path. I want to teach my son how to trust the Lord with all his heart. The word trust in the Hebrew originally meant to lie helplessly face down.
And there's a sense of humility there, but there's also a sense of submission there to the total sovereign control of God, in which the worshipper says, I not only am humble in your presence, but I bow in your presence submissively to anything that you would choose to do. That's how much I trust you. Teach your son to trust that way. Teach him not to lean on his own understanding. The Hebrew word does not mean to incline, it means to support yourself.
Teach him not to support himself by his own wisdom, but to support himself by God's wisdom. In all your ways, acknowledge him. The word there means to be aware of, to know, to have fellowship with. In everything in life, teach him to do it in union, communion with the living God. Teach him how to trust God for everything, how to lean on God for support totally.
And how to be aware of God's consistent presence in his life. And if he so lives with that kind of trust and that kind of leaning and that kind of acknowledging, God's going to direct his path. Teach him to fear his God. And I believe that when God is feared, so is sin.
So is sin. Proverbs says, Fearing the Lord prolongs life. You want to give your son that kind of rich, full life? Proverbs says, Fearing the Lord is more profitable than wealth. It brings about life.
It keeps one from evil. It results in riches and honor. And it breeds humility. Proverbs says that those who fear God sleep satisfied and are untouched by evil. They have confidence, they will be praised, and they have their prayers answered.
Would you like that for your son? Would you like to know that your son? will have his life prolonged to its fullness. Would you like to know that he will be kept from evil? That he will be brought honor and riches, that he would be humble, untouched by evil, satisfied, confident, praised, and have his prayers answered.
then teach him to fear God. This is the most crucial lesson a father could ever teach a son. Lesson number two.
Son? Not only fear your God, but guard your mind. Guard your mind. Chapter three, verse three, among many, introduces the heart here, and the writer mentions kindness. Chesed, that beautiful word that means love, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity, kindness.
And then the word met. which means truth or accuracy, reliability or dependability. Take that, those two marvelous things, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity, and all of that, along with reliable, dependable, accurate truth. and bind them around your neck. and write them on the tablet of your heart.
Chisel them as it would be in the stone of your mind. Heart has reference to mind, the seed of thought and emotion and will. In other words, teach your son to guard his mind. You are responsible as a father. For the mind of your child.
Boy, what a tremendous responsibility today. When the assault on the human mind is at such a level as it is today through the media, the job of guarding the mind of your young person and teaching him how to guard it is indeed a formidable task. Chapter 4, would you notice verse 23? Watch over your heart. With all diligence, the father says to his son, for from it flow the springs of life.
Guard your mind diligently. Because everything in life comes out of it. Out of it comes your conduct. And so the heart must be right. The father then has the task of assuring the son's mind is programmed with.
Truth with virtue. With faithfulness, with honesty. With integrity, with loyalty, with love, with all that those two words in chapter three can sum up. Father, you have a responsibility to teach your son to guard his mind. All the way through this passage, and I wish we had time to just kind of wander through the 10 chapters, you see this.
Back in verse 9 of chapter 1. He talks about the fact that good instruction is a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments around your neck. When a son wears the truth in his heart, it graces him. In chapter 2 and verse 10, he wants wisdom to enter your heart and knowledge be pleasant to your soul, so that discretion will guard you and understanding will watch over you to deliver you from the way of evil. In chapter 3, verse 1: Let your heart keep my commandments.
Chapter four, verse four: Let your heart hold fast my words. Keep My commandments And live. And that is the issue: that the mind, or the heart, as it's called, be guarded carefully. Father, you are the guardian of your child's mind. You must keep the right stuff going in and the wrong stuff out.
That is your duty before God. To guard your son's mind, your children as well. What a tremendous responsibility we have. That means we have to protect our children from what they are exposed to. That's the negative.
The positive, we must make sure that they are exposed to what we want to fill their mind. Therein lies the benefit of a godly education, of Christian training. Of exposure to the teaching of the Word of God. That is the duty of the Father. Teach your son.
Fear your God, son, and guard your mind, for out of it. comes your conduct. Third. Great lesson. A father must teach his son, obey your parents.
Obey your parents. All through this entire section, these statements about here, my son, your father's instruction, are repeated. Chapter 1, verse 8. Chapter 2, verse 1, 3, verse 1, 4, verse 1, and then again in chapter 4. It's repeated again and again.
Look at verse 10. Hear, my son, accept my sayings. Verse 11: I have directed you in the way of wisdom. I have led you in upright paths. Do what I say, is what he's saying.
Verse 20, My son, give attention to my words, incline your ear to my sayings, do not let them depart from your sight, keep them in the midst of your heart or your mind. We're reinforcing here the first command with promise, which is: children obey your parents and the Lord. That's the first command with promise. Teach your sons to obey. What you say.
Now that means discipline. Chapter 10, verse 13: A rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding. When your son doesn't do what you want him to do, you use a rod. Later on in Proverbs, it says he has rebellion in his heart, drive it far from him with a rod. This is discipline, not done in anger.
but done in love. Whom the Father loves, he disciplines. And this discipline is done for the purpose of conforming your son to wisdom. For the purpose of breaking self-will, for the purpose of removing foolishness, for the purpose of delivering the child from spiritual death, and for the purpose of making him a delight to his parents. All of those things are taught in Proverbs.
Teach your children to obey and use a rod to reinforce because God says physical punishment. Done in love is a strong corrective. That way you're Children learn to obey. their parents. And if they learn to obey their parents, and their parents are advocating the law of God, they will learn to obey the law of God.
And if they learn to obey their parents, they will learn to submit to the parents' authority, and later on, when they're living in society, they will learn to submit to societal authority in any form. A disobedient child, you see, makes not only a spiritual disaster, but an antisocial personality and very often a criminal adult. You have a task, Father. To say to your son, you must learn to fear your God, guard your mind, and obey your parents. You must learn how to submit to authority.
And since we represent the authority of God and are teaching you the wisdom of God, you must obey. You must obey. I do not believe there is any excuse. for a rebellious child. I believe that children can be under control if they're properly taught by their fathers.
to obey. There's a fourth principle. And this must be taught as well, and very, very important. A father must teach his son, Select your companions. Select your companions.
You get on the offensive. A father has the responsibility to teach his children how to choose their friends. What did the Apostle Paul say? Bad company corrupts what? Good morals.
Bad company corrupts good morals. Your children, believe me, cannot rise above their acquaintances. Rarely does a child have the capability to elevate himself beyond the constituent group in which he functions. You have to select and help him learn to select companions and not let them select him. Go back to chapter 1 for a moment.
Give me an illustration of it. Verse 10. Father would say to his son, My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. In other words, don't get sucked into the gang. If they say, and they appeal on the basis of excitement and adventure and a thrill, if they say, come with us, let us lie in wait for blood.
Let us ambush the innocent without cause. Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, even whole. As those who go down to the pit, let's kill somebody. And we'll find all kinds of precious wealth and fill our houses with gold. Throw in your lot with us, and we'll all have one purse.
Here's the gang appealing to the kid. The gang comes along and sucks up One other person for their own wicked purposes. It's amazing, isn't it? This kind of action? For one fleeting moment of pleasure, wicked men are willing to take a life or inflict lifelong trauma on someone pointless.
senseless gang violence, and they want to suck The innocent and the naive and the unwitting. Into that. The enticements can be pretty strong. Fathers, we have a tremendous task. You may not live in an inner-city ghetto like New York or East Los Angeles, but I'll tell you what, there is tremendous prayer pressure coming upon your sons to conform to a standard of conduct that is the standard of conduct of the people around them.
You must teach them to select their companions and not be selected. and then intimidated into that kind of alliance. The whole appeal here Is to the Father to fulfill his responsibility. In chapter 2, verse 11. The father has to teach his son.
How to be delivered from the way of evil. From the man who speaks perverse things. You don't want to be around those kinds of people. From those who leave the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness, you want to make sure your children aren't around those kinds of people who delight in doing evil and rejoice in the perversity of evil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways. Don't let your sons around those kinds of people.
You instruct them how to choose their companions. Fathers? You have the responsibility to God for the process of your children learning how to choose their companions. You need to teach your kids how to be holy. That's one of the crucial lessons for dads that John covered today on Grace to U.
Timely truth as Father's Day approaches in the United States. John's lesson today is called Crucial Lessons for a Wise Father.
Well, friend, Scripture is clear that fathers are to bring up their children in the fear of the Lord, and fathers need to model that fear in their own lives. To help you with that, let me recommend John's book called Brave Dad, Raising Your Kids to Love and Follow God. It explains what a man must do and must not do to be a godly father. It's timely reading for dads of any age and even for grandfathers. It's also great for men who hope to be fathers one day.
To pick up a copy of Brave Dad for yourself or for a father in your life, get in touch today. Our phone number is 80055 GRACE. And our web address, gty.org. Brave Dad costs $11, shipping is free. Again, to Order Brave Dad, raising your kids to love and follow God, call us at 80055GRACE or go to gty.org.
and thanks for remembering that Grace to You is listener supported. Through your partnership, you help us reach people like you around the world with biblical truth, including a listener in the Philippines named Onassis. He recently told us how John's teaching helped him pull out of a dark depression by driving him to the sufficiency of Christ and the truth of God's Word. Friend, by partnering with us, you can minister to people like Onassis, and as a result, you take part in strengthening the local churches that they belong to. To send your gift, visit gty.org.
or call 855 GRACE. And now for the entire Grace to U staff, I'm Phil Johnson. Be back tomorrow as John MacArthur shows you the best way to use the influence you have in your kids' lives. It's another 30 minutes of unleashing God's truth one verse at a time. On Grace to You.
