Inviting Your Child Into the Easter Story

When you think about Easter, I wonder what comes to mind. Is it rabbits? Chocolate?

Colored eggs? As Christians, we know there is so much more to Easter. It started with a triumphal parade and anger Jesus had about the misuse of God's temple, the Last Supper, a brutal death, and a miraculous resurrection. As adults, that is so much for us to process. It's really hard for us to help our kids get into those truths and understand them. Today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, we're going to explore the Easter story, its relevance to our lives, and how you as a parent can help your kids grab onto it. Thanks for joining us.

I'm John Fuller. Well, John, the period of time around that first Easter had to be filled with amazing moments. We call it Holy Week. But if you just read it in the scripture, there was a lot going on, a lot of chaos, really. And imagine how the disciples must have felt wondering if Jesus would become the king. Would he take over politically? Would he be the next leader in that way? And then he had Judas betraying him.

He had Peter denying him. There was just a lot of things happening. And it's good for us to understand it and better understand what were the motivations of people and what was happening. We have the benefit of 2,000 years of history now. We get to look back and we get to see that what Jesus said is true.

I mean, we should be envied as a generation. We're not in the midst of it thinking, is he the Messiah? Is he not the Messiah?

I think you can say very definitively Jesus was who he said he was. And we have still people that have lots of questions about Jesus and his significance. And we're going to help answer those questions today, especially for your children, which is so hard for them to kind of connect with, yeah, what's a bunny rabbit and a colored egg have to do with Easter? So we're looking forward to talking to two great friends about how to speak to your children about Easter.

Yeah, Josh and Kristi Straub are back in the studio with us. We're so glad to have them. And we always get a great response when we talk with them. They are speakers and podcast hosts and co-founders of Famous at Home. They train leaders in emotional intelligence and really promote healthy families. They're living a healthy family.

They have three kids and Landon, Kennedy and Micah. They know something about the journey that so many of us are on or reflecting back so positively about. One of the books they've written that we'll mention here is Ten Days of the Easter Story of Family Experience Through the Feelings of Holy Week. And we've got copies of that book here. Stop by the show notes for yours or give us a call.

800, the letter A and the word family. Josh and Kristi, welcome. Thank you. Good to have you back. We love being here. I love your smiles. You just look joyful.

I love it. Let me ask you this. John touched on it, but the whole idea of bunny rabbits and eggs. So, you know, for Jean and I, when our boys were younger, we were having this discussion. Do we talk about a rabbit? I mean, really, do the kids grow up thinking we're lying to them? There is no big Easter bunny that's taking care of all this, spiritually speaking.

And, you know, Jean was really great. We did the same thing with the other guy in December, you know, S.C. I don't want to blow anybody's cover. But we just felt it may not go down well with our boys if we're deceiving them. I mean, even playfully about Santa Claus and maybe the Easter bunny. So we were not big on pretending that these people exist and deliver presents.

But let me, this one, let's just get out of the way. At Easter, how do you begin to clarify this is Jesus and the true story and this is something we do for fun? Well, it is confusing, isn't it? Like, wait, where did bunnies and eggs come into the picture? And then we're talking about empty tombs and this horrific death.

And, like, how do these go together? And I think it's hard for, I mean, we're parents raising kids in this generation alongside all of you. How old are your kids just for the listeners?

So Landon's 10, Kennedy's 8, and Micah's just about to be 3. So right there you have a wide variety of understanding. Yeah, and it's very limited understanding for some. Like, it's what even is Easter? I think, and the reason I think it's so important to us to even have this conversation today is because it really gets the crux of our faith. So if we're, Jim, you're saying if we're like telling them about Easter bunnies and going along with that, and I'm truthfully like we play along with some of the traditions so that the kids like there's just a joy in hiding eggs around the house. But with this like balance of and this is what is true. Right, yeah. And I think, you know, for us, you know, one of the principles we hold to is one of the things that Christy's mom would say to them growing up.

You know, the Easter bunny and with SC as well. And this is the phrase is they are pretend, but in our home we pretend. And so just that idea of going, OK, yes, if they ask the question, we pretend or they're pretend, but we pretend in our home. And I think there's a reality to we want our children to know the truth and we want them to understand that the truth sets them free.

Right. And so that's why, you know, yes, you know, and I get the Easter egg in the spring and the springing forth of new life and that, you know, being a representation to to the resurrection. But I think so often what we do is we bypass the pain of of the truth. We bypass the suffering of the truth and we want to get to the resurrection. Sunday is coming. We use that phrase Sunday is coming. And what we end up doing is is we we pacify things with eggs and and the pretend stuff that culture brings into play. And then we focus on the good part of the Easter story of going, OK, Sunday's coming.

Jesus has rose from the dead. But what we end up doing is we do I think we do our kids a disservice by passing over. Jesus came to fulfill Passover by passing over the stuff that wasn't so fun.

Yeah, well, and what you're saying, I mean, it's dawning on me that it's such a metaphor for the culture. Yeah, I mean, really, rather than talk about what's true and the things that are most important in life. Let's eat some chocolate.

Let's entertain bunnies and, you know, fake things. But that is too. That's our culture.

Is it? Let's let's, you know, consume to the hilt and not talk about what's most important in life. We just continue that whole fable forward.

Yes. It's so it's just like, you know, this whole I don't know, there's this culture of like we medicate pain with, you know, we chop it away or we eat it away or we over sugar it away. And it's it's like we're ingraining in our kids this that coping mechanism. And I just think there is such a better way for us to actually walk through with our kids hard.

And what I what I love what you're accomplishing with the book, 10 days of the Easter story. And you guys, you're so intentional with this is how to get your kids starting right. Right from the get go. Emotionally healthy. I so appreciate that because I don't think as parents we you know, we want them to be in sports. We want them to do these things that demonstrate their physical well-being and their physical acuity. And I don't know that I don't think I was as in tune with their emotional health as you guys are coaching parents to be.

And I think, man, it should probably start right there. Emotionally healthy children. So when you look at connecting the Easter story for them to be emotionally healthy, how does that work?

Well, one of the things we wanted to do was I mean, we wanted to take the Easter story and we wanted to look at what was actually happening. Right. You know, researchers show that, you know, thinking, feeling and relating at the same time is where true growth happens. So in other words, if I'm just sitting in a classroom and I'm hearing somebody lecture, there's a cognitive thing going on. But if there's not great stories or I'm not emotionally engaged, I'm not as likely to remember what's being taught.

That's like a speaker. An effective speaker. An effective speaker is going to share stories. They're going to engage your emotion and there's thinking, feeling. And then there's also relating.

I'm entering into a relationship. That's why therapy is so effective is because, you know, or at least good, healthy relationships, small groups where you're doing life with people in your church because there's relational things happening. And so what we really wanted to do was give parents another tool to be able to take their children through the devotion of Easter, to teach them the truths of scripture, but then to also help their children enter into that story. And think about what is it that the characters or the people during that week, during that time of life, what were they experiencing? What were they actually feeling?

What was actually going on? And what are ways that you experienced that feeling today? What are ways that you've experienced a lot of hope, like the hope of Palm Sunday? Right. And the happiness of Palm Sunday or anger.

Right. When the Pharisees are angry. And then because Jesus is flipping over the tables. But then Jesus getting angry and flipping over the tables or the surprise. I mean, you think about the Last Supper. Think about the disciples at the Last Supper.

What a like mind blowing, like if they had emojis back then, the mind blown like emoji. Because Jesus shows up and he says, by the way, one of you is going to betray me. Yeah. And they all look at each other like, who?

Who? And what are you talking about? Then he washes their feet, which is up for a servant to do. He tells them he's going to die in temple being raised in three days. He tells them to drink of his blood and eat of his body.

Like you're going, what? I mean, just imagine being all the surprise that's happening at the Last Supper. So we we connect that with surprise and the surprise that they were going through. And so there's so much happening and there's so many of these feelings that our kids can relate with on a daily basis. We just put prompts in there and ways that we can start helping our kids experience the feelings that they're having and connect it to that story. You know, one of the things I'm thinking of, because I didn't grow up in a Christian home. So for me, I was you know, I didn't have traditions taught to me.

And, you know, I kind of struggled, I'd say more as a teenager trying to grab these concepts. And what you're doing with your children at a younger age, what I love what's happening there. You don't have to get it all done in one fell swoop, you know, asking your three year old, are you ready to receive Jesus? You're laying the groundwork and portraying the truth of scripture, et cetera. And I just love that idea of it's like the layers of an onion. You're just creating that first layer for that three year old to understand what's true.

And I think being mindful of that and intentional of that is so good. Christy, you were really honest about the fact that you struggled with the death and resurrection. I could so relate to I mean, I was 15 going, why would he have to do that? I didn't get it.

What were your struggles as a child? Well, it's like Josh was just saying, like, I mean, it's just this most gruesome, like, you know, we were scared of it. I was absolutely and almost disgusted, like we'll throw in another feeling where disgust is it's like, I can't watch that. And you think about as parents, like we try so hard to protect our kids from what they see on television, on, you know, apps and all the things. And I think there is a whole generation of parents that are really recognizing how important that is.

And they're really stepping up. But I almost wonder if we've swung the pendulum a bit to the other side where it's like we're so protecting them what they see. And yet there's this story about the man that we are to like give our lives where we're trying to introduce our children to that died this gruesome death. And we are protecting our children from death and like, don't look at that, don't see that. And then how awkward it is to try to explain this to kids, you know, and I just remember as a kid myself watching the Jesus movie.

Do you remember this? Oh, yeah. And like it gets to that, like, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. You're fine.

Like triumphal entry and Palm Sunday. And this is all great. It gets to this horrible part where they're like literally nailing his hands. And I just remember as a kid like actually feeling sick to my stomach. And yet you have to watch this every year as a family, you know, as and I'm never allowed to watch this stuff and like normally. So why are we watching this now? And it just is this very strange introduction to I mean, it's violent. It's gruesome. We don't really see that that often in our protected little bubble worlds that we're trying to, you know.

And I think in really pure intention, we're trying to protect children from things that they shield them, shield them really in ways that things that they shouldn't see. And yet this is important. So how do we do this? And I just realized how much of a struggle that was for me. And what Josh said, the whole church phrase of like, it's Friday, but Sunday's coming. And I though I get this sentiment like, yes, we have hope. What about Saturday?

Yeah. Like Saturday was horrible. And if I look at the world right now, we don't know how to sit in a Saturday. And yet I think that's really what it feels like right now. Like if you look at the state of the world, it's like, God, where are you? And like, I don't really feel a lot of hope right now. Like, it feels like darkness is winning.

And I think that's what Saturday felt like. And I think the realization that there is this tolerance that we all need to develop, it's almost like a muscle where we can sit in hard things and allow them to overwhelm. You know, it's like this tidal wave. I think we're so afraid. I've heard so many people say to me, like, as we're sitting with them in hard things, you know, in a session where they'll say, like, I don't want to cry because I'm afraid if I start, I'll never stop.

And I think that's the belief and where we get this avoidant thing. And we go to sugar and bunnies because it's like, if I actually touch upon this feeling, I'm afraid I'll cry and I'll never stop. And the grief will overwhelm me.

And the truth is actually the opposite. That's why we're so afraid to feel is because we haven't let ourselves. And grief really comes, it comes in waves. Sadness comes in waves. Anger comes in waves. And we actually have to allow it.

It has to have a safe outlet. And as parents, that's what we are for our kids if we allow it. Well, and I appreciate that because again, that's your great strength. That's what the Lord's called you to. It feels to me is helping children particularly to be emotionally healthy and to talk with them in such a way that they can be. I think the Easter story, again, it can be overwhelming to a child.

I mean, you wanted to get to Sunday quickly because that's the Shazam. That's the big part of the story. It's the Lord being raised from the dead and appearing to people. And it cements our faith.

And it is as Paul himself, the apostle said, you know, if Jesus didn't rise from the dead, then our faith is pretty much mute. And but that's what it all hinges upon. So as we're teaching our kids this, it's it can be difficult. Let me go back to something you mentioned. You said a lot in that statement. But the one thing that I want to punch here is our modern parenting style to kind of keep our kids pain free, you know, bubble wrapping them not just physically, but emotionally to, you know, to where they don't have a dip. That's it's proving through research.

That's not a good thing. Kids need appropriate challenges to create resiliency in them. So speak to that issue of not being too cautious with the kids experiencing some grief and some pain.

Yeah. And I think what ends up happening is, is it comes back to our own parental fears. It comes back to our own story. We don't like anger. Or if we see anger in our kids, we want to just shut it out because I don't want an angry child. I don't want, you know, or anger within us. It triggered something within us from our own childhood where maybe we were told that anger was a bad emotion.

We're not supposed to feel. So we just pass that on to our kids. And and so a lot of times this desire to not want our kids to experience those feelings is coming from our own story. And I think it's important that we look at that story because Romans five is to says to rejoice in suffering.

With suffering comes perseverance and perseverance, character and character, hope. And I think, you know, for us to be able to enter into our children's story, get them to identify what is it that you're feeling? Is it sad? Is it? Is it anger? Is it embarrassed?

Is it rejected? Is it fear? What are you experiencing? And to be able to allow our kids to sit in that and to listen to them in that without getting overwhelmed ourselves as parents gives our children the ability to say that it's OK. You have permit. And it's actually a good thing because our ability to experience a wide range of emotion is what leads to emotional and spiritual health. If you shut out the negative or the uncomfortable emotions, you also teach your body to shut out the positive. And that's when we turn to the chocolate and the Netflix and all the other stuff to calm and soothe us. Well, big topic today is we're talking about Easter and the emotions of Easter and how do we talk about those and help our kids process all of those emotions.

We have to start with ourselves, is what you're saying. Our guests are Josh and Christy Straub, and this is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Get a copy of this terrific little book, Ten Days of the Easter Story, a family experience through the feelings of Holy Week. We have it here.

You'll find it at Focus on the Family dot com slash broadcast. One of the things that you talk about and you develop and practice is this idea of emotional safety as a family. Some people won't even understand what you're aiming at there.

So describe what emotional safety is within the family. Yeah, I think it more has to do with the posture from which we parent more than the techniques. You know, I think we in the day to day, we get so caught up in the techniques. We have, as you were talking, John, earlier, the trying threes.

We have one who's walking into the threes. It's all about mine. It's all about me.

He's letting his voice be heard. And I think so often as parents, we get overwhelmed in those moments and it's all about techniques. Should I spank or not spank? Do I do time ins or time outs? Do we, you know, do we, you know, breastfeed or bottle feed?

Do we co-sleep or not? We get so overwhelmed by all these techniques. But the reality is, is that techniques will always change. And one technique that works on one child today won't work on that same child tomorrow. And one technique that works on a child, one child doesn't work on another child. So techniques will always ebb and flow. And those are one way relationships.

It's a one way. It's me as a parent. Yeah, it's me as a parent, you know, prescribing something or putting something on my child. The posture from which we parent should never change. And the way we describe that is that, you know, 1 John 4 says that perfect love cast out fear.

And I think any time that we are leading in fear as a parent, whether it's our parental fears, our parental agenda, whatever that looks like where we're coming in with our own agenda or we're, you know, shutting our child down because of our own fear rather than entering into their story. And the way to describe this is leading in grace and following in truth. It's Jesus with the woman at the well. It's Jesus with the woman caught in adultery. He's always showing up with grace and he's entering their story before he ever reveals who he is. And I think that's a framework for us as parents to be able to lead in grace with our kids and enter their world and asking questions of what's going on.

What's what's going on in your heart right now? What's the disobedience about? What's the disrespect about? Did something happen?

How can I help? And of course, we want to follow up in truth. There's got to be consequences to disrespect and misbehavior. But I think so often we're leading in truth and we're missing the grace component. And to me, emotional safety really is that posture of how do we lead in grace? Well, that is so critical when you talk to 20, 30 somethings and their experience, especially growing up in a Christian home, never feeling like they could get to the bar that's been set, always being somewhat shamed that I wasn't performing well enough. Those are the beginnings of a difficult adulthood.

You know, things that you bring in. And as parents, our job, I believe, before the Lord is to deliver healthy 18, 19 year olds emotionally. Right. Let me let me ask you to Josh, you grew up, I think, experiencing Easter at your grandmother's church. I think you referred to her as me ma. I didn't have the me ma, but we didn't have extended family.

So I never had that experience. But what was it like being with me ma? And then me ma's attitude toward teaching you about Easter. Oh, my goodness.

So I get tears thinking about it. Every Easter Sunday, we would show up at my me ma's church. And we wouldn't go to we went to a separate church, but we would show up at my me ma's church. And I remember singing the hymns, you know, Christ the Lord is risen today.

Hallelujah. And then we would go to her house and we, you know, find Easter eggs and we do all these things. But there was such a deep like, you talk about thinking, feeling and relating at the same time, like I'm welling up in tears thinking about that experiential moment of singing those songs and going to Easter Sunday service and engaging in those activities with my family. That just connected my faith and my parents growing up were nominal believers.

I mean, we went to church every Sunday, but it wasn't like we were doing devotions every day and we weren't, you know. But I always believed in my me ma was such an anchor for that. And I just really want to encourage families to find those experiences, find those traditions in your family that will help your kids think, feel and relate. And they'll have a connection point back to a faith connection point back to in their childhood to look back and have a similar experience when they're in their 40s to tear up to go and my parents showed up for me in this way. They taught me faith in this way. Yeah. You know, sometimes in that parenting role, our judgment gets so clouded that we don't even know that the simple things we're doing.

Now I'm getting teary eyed for you. But those simple things that we do are building incredible foundations for these kids. You know, just stability, being married, loving each other in front of your children, having dinner together at night, having discussion. These aren't difficult things to do, just consistency for your kids to see. And then your kid will be 40 and serving the Lord going, wow, what did I have?

That was so special. And I'm so grateful you said that because we so often beat ourselves up, especially over the emotional stuff, because we we get caught up in the day to day. And I just want to say to parents out there, like, it is hard. It is difficult. And yet simply showing up, simply doing the exact things you just walked through.

It's Deuteronomy six. You know, you're showing up for dinner. You're, you know, you're resolving conflict.

You're engaged. And then when we do mess up, because we will, being able to apologize to our kids, just seeking their forgiveness is everything in our relationship. Well, I so appreciate and to hit this again, don't be kind of about tactics, be about heart. Tactics will change. And the way you do it at eight years old, parenting that eight year old will be different from 15.

So your tactics will change. But the heart is what it's about. That grace and truth delivered. Man, this time has flown by.

I cannot believe it. But for the parents, 10 days of the Easter story, start the discussion. This is a great time to do it if you have that three year old, the eight year old, the 10 year old, the 15 year old to help them better understand what was going on that week that we rest everything on, that our faith is built upon and to help your kids manage and understand those emotions.

Boy, you've delivered. Thanks so much for being with us. Thank you for having us. Contact us today to get Josh and Christy's book, Ten Days of the Easter Story, a family experience through the feelings of Holy Week. We'll send you a copy when you make a monthly pledge of any amount to this ministry. Or if you're not in a spot to do that, make a one time donation. The number is 800. The letter A and the word family 800-232-6459.

Or check the show notes for more. And John, let me say this to our listeners. If you've benefited from any of the programing or have received help from our resources, can I encourage you to pay it forward by making a monthly pledge to the ministry? That's how Jean and I support Focus. John, you and Dina do the same.

We do as well, yes. Our research shows that only about one percent of those who listen or watch the program on YouTube actually donate to Focus. And thanks to the generosity of those folks, we're able to help more than 600,000 moms and dads improve their parenting skills, build stronger relationships in their families and pass on their faith to their children.

That's amazing. It's big what can be accomplished. But imagine how much more families would be impacted if we could increase that support team to two percent or three percent. That would work together to strengthen even more marriages, equip even more parents and spread the good news to even more people about Jesus. Consider a monthly pledge to Focus on the family today and let me say thank you in advance for your generosity. And once again, our number is 800, the letter A and the word family.

Or you can donate when you click the link in the show notes. And at our website, we're going to have a link to our family reading of scripture. Now, there's an Easter video from Bible teacher Ray Vanderlaan and additional resources to make this a really sacred, meaningful time for your entire family. This family reading of scripture is free and we urge you to check it out today. And if you happen to be traveling with your family this summer, let me suggest a visit to Focus on the family.

We'd love to have you visit us here in Colorado Springs. Thanks for listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ. Culture is changing so fast.

How should Christians respond? At our next Lighthouse Voices event, you'll hear from John Stone Street with the Colson Center. We live in what is called a civilizational moment. Civilizations ebb and flow and we are at a pivotal moment. I think a lot of us have felt that existentially for a long time. Learn how to face this moment with clarity, confidence and courage. Lighthouse Voices is on April 15th and you can register for the free live stream at lighthousevoices.org