Everybody around us this summer, I say everybody, but our eyes were open to it in the last year that there's a lot of folks in their 30s that are our age that we're seeing their marriages fall apart.
And it scared us. After 11 years, Brett's marriage had grown stale. He wanted something better for he and his wife. That's when they found our podcast online and began listening almost every day. Focus on the families helped our marriage from the standpoint of opening our hearts to see things from the other's perspective and to make sure that God is centered in our marriage.
I'm Jim Daly. Thanks to the generosity of friends like you, Brett's marriage is getting better. Working together we can give families hope. Will you join our marriage building team? Call 800 the letter A and the word family or donate at focusonthefamily.com slash hope and your gift will be doubled.
No! The joys of bedtime routines with little kids. That's Ken Kington and we've got some comic relief to share with you on the highs and the lows of doing life together as a family. Welcome to Focus on the Family. Your host is Focus President and author Jim Daly and I'm John Fuller. Well when times are hard it's important to enjoy some laughter and that's what we have in store with our guest Ken Kington. This was one of our most popular programs of the year so it definitely hit the mark. Ken is a very sought after comedian and motivational speaker and he has quite a knack for finding the humor in everyday moments with his wife, his three kids, so this message is worth hearing again. Here's Ken Kington from his DVD called Wow Moments and you can get a copy of that from us here at Focus on the Family.
Let's go ahead and dive in just after Ken's opening remarks. I know it's not easy but I got to tell you that in a marriage is wonderful. I love being married. It's not easy.
It's not easy but it's worth it. Any newlyweds here tonight? Any newlyweds?
They're married less than a year. Anybody? Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome.
You should be proud. I love being around newlyweds. They're just, I love you. I love you so much. I love you so much. No, I love you more. When you're gone I can't breathe. It's like my heart's gone. Like he's going to work. He's coming home, alright? It's okay. It's alright. And then you go to the stage.
We're in the stage now. We're in the stage now where it's like we're seeing the differences and that little 5% that's different can drive you crazy. I'm OCD. My wife's like, you are so OCD. OCD. And I am. My clothes are all in the right order and it's different colors and I can't go by the sink where there's a difference.
And there's some good side effects. Ladies, I wash the dishes at my house. Okay?
Yeah, I know. I vacuum without being asked. So try to contain yourself because I wash and soften and dry and fold and iron all the laundry at my house.
Now I'm fully aware that I am below average looking but for women over 30 I may have just become one of the sexiest men alive. I did that at a show a couple of weeks ago. Women were throwing clothes on the stage. I don't think they were turned on and I don't think they were going, iron this!
Wash this! Well if I have OCD, my wife has a condition I have termed G-I-L-D. Get it later disorder. We get it later. I didn't have time. I'll get it later. Later seems to never come. Get it later.
It's dangerous. I went to the bathroom one night. She left her drawer out.
Oh man! I woke up the next day. She goes, what was that noise last night?
What was that noise? I said, you left your drawer out. I cut my leg. She goes, oh I didn't have time. I didn't have time. What do you mean you didn't have time? I didn't have time. I was in a hurry. I didn't have time.
I said, get your iPhone. Put it on the stopwatch. Ready? Time this. How long was that? Let's do it again. Ready?
How long? And you know it was a little frustrating. I had a cough one night. Walked downstairs. Go to get a glass. Go to open the cupboard. It was dark. I went to open it.
I missed it because it was open. I just went boom. I wake up the next morning in a pool of blood on my pillow. She said, what happened to you? I said, you left the cupboard door. I didn't have time. I didn't even get to finish.
You didn't leave the cupboard. And it can be so easy to get frustrated with those little pieces but I don't because that's 95% of the time she's incredible. I love the little pieces. God has blessed me. My wife has a condition. 4.0 student. Language arts teacher. And yet she will mix up words all the time. And it's just entertaining. We're having a disagreement in the middle of this agreement. We don't fight really hard anymore. It's just disagreement.
She goes, okay, okay, listen. You say potato. I say tomato. It's the same thing. It's really not.
It's not even close. And then there's times I don't even know what she's talking about. She goes, I'm just telling you, that just broke the last straw. Is that good?
Bad? We're driving. She wanted to throw an idea at me. She goes, I don't want you to make a decision.
I'm not saying we have to do it. I just want to put a bug in your ear to chew on. She said, what does that look for? I said, I don't really eat bugs. And I can't chew with my ears.
And then there's the extremes. Another lady said her dad had a spot. Spot on his hand. Called her mom, hey, how's dad's spot? She goes, I don't think it's anything, but made him a doctor's appointment next week anyway. I'm going to go have him get an autopsy.
Not very optimistic there, are we? But I love that about my wife. And I need my wife. I only love her.
I need her. Because we have children. I tell you this, my least favorite phrase as a dad, I might have. I might have. Last February. It was cold last February.
I'm driving my sons to school when I hear out of the backseat, uh oh. What do you mean, uh oh? I might have forgot something. You might have forgot something.
Now I want to just take a little poll here. Someone on this side of the room here, February, driving to school, he might have forgotten what? Coat, very good, very good.
Backpack, very good. I thought of those as well. That wasn't it, but those are good guesses. Someone over here just, I might have forgotten. Who said shoes?
Do you know my son? He said, I might have forgot my shoes. I said, well look on your feet. Do you see shoes on your feet?
No, sir. At what point do you walk outside across a cold concrete floor and not have the thought, there's nothing on my feet. Amazing. And it didn't stop there.
It's just ongoing. A week later, my wife told my kids, grab your shoes, get in the car. We're going to eat dinner out tonight. My son's in the living room. I said, did you hear your mother?
Yes, sir. Go get your shoes. I don't know where they are. I asked him, where's the last place you put them? He did not say anything, but the look on his face was like, well, Yoda, if I knew that I would go get them. I have a college education and I am sucked into this conversation. I asked the dumbest question known to man. I said, where is the last place you remember having them?
On my feet. Amazing. Amazing. But I absolutely love him. He's a great student, great little athlete, good kid.
And out of nowhere, he'll just come up with something. About a month and a half ago, he's like, dad, are you going on tour in Florida at any time? I'm like, yeah, I go there a few times a year. You go to Orlando, can I go? I'm like, sure, man.
You can go. I said, why do you want to go to Orlando? I want to go to SeaWorld. I'm like, dude, do you really like SeaWorld with a kid? He goes, I know, I just want to walk around and see people's reaction.
So what do you mean a reaction? He goes, I'm taking a fishing pole. And there's something about life that don't get distracted by all the stuff out there. What is really important? And those thoughts go through my mind. What's really important? And I learned this through my kids a lot.
God shows me this through my children. About a year later, they were in bed one night. My boy shared a room and we lived downstairs and their room was upstairs. And in the middle of the night, three in the morning, I hear, Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
I thought he was sick. I run up the stairs. I walk in. He is standing on his bed, standing on his bed like a superhero. Daddy! Daddy! I said, dude, what are you doing? Daddy!
And like he'd been rehearsing this or something. Three in the morning, he goes, Daddy, might want chocolate milk. Now, please. I'm like, what? I said, dude, it's night-night time.
And he looked at me like maybe he didn't hear this right. I'm standing up. I should get on my knees.
He drops to his knees. Daddy, might want chocolate milk. Now, please. I'm like, dude, it's night-night time. I said, you've got to go to bed. And he looks at me and the look on his face is like, what part of this do you not get?
I'm saying all the right words. And I lay him down and he's like, Daddy, might want chocolate milk, please. And I was like, dude, I will get you all the chocolate milk you want in the morning. But right now, it's night-night time. And he put his head on the pillow and he turned up and he went, chocolate milk, please. I said, no, buddy, it's night-night time. And he rolled over and went, okay, Daddy. And he went to sleep. And as I walked down the steps, it was one of those moments. Now, God has never spoken to me audibly.
Never heard that. But it was between conscious, unconscious, that part of the soul where you're just like, I know this is something more than me. And God just whispered, Ken, that's the way I want you to be. I want you to ask for anything.
And just know that I'm only going to give you what's best when it's best. And I was just like, I literally stopped on the stairs that night and just went, whoa, wow. And see, not only do I want to recognize those moments, I want to recognize the moments as they're happening.
And I need help with that too. And I ask God all the time, God help me not miss these moments. I'm driving my son to practice last year. Last year I get to coach him.
I love coaching basketball, driving to pull up to a red light. And my son goes, Dad, pull up. I'm like, whoa.
Fourteen years old. I'm like, man, that's unbelievable. It's a brand new Maserati right next to us. And he goes, Dad, how fast do you think it'll go? I'm like, I don't know. And he says, how much do you think it'll go? I'm like, I'm not sure. And then it hit me, Ken, this is a moment. And I said, you know what?
I can have one of those. He said, really? And I'm like, yes. And I said, I can have one paid for.
And he's like, really? I said, yes. I said, you know why I don't? He said, why? I said, you. I said, you were the reason I don't have one. And he went, oh, man. And I said, no, not oh, man. I said, dude, I wouldn't trade you for 10 Maseratis. You're unbelievable. You're incredible. You can applaud that.
And I saw him well up, like, whoa. And I'm like, you're way better than a Maserati. You better than 10.
That car's getting old. You're getting better. We can hang out together. You can feed yourself.
You don't poop in your pants anymore. Dude, you're awesome. You are awesome. And I got to tell you, though, I'm stunned he made it.
I really am. Because he's got an older brother, 11 months older. And he made it through some tough times. Because my older son, I'll never forget this. My oldest son was probably just about two.
So he was just about 10, 11 months. And you remember those little bouncy seats? Those little bouncy, you put the baby in the bouncy seat? Cody was in one of those, and it got really quiet.
When you have babies, quiet is not good. I walked around the corner. There's my oldest son straddled over the bouncy seat with a bag of cheese puffs. Stuffing them into Cody's mouth. He's got like 10 cheese puffs. And he'd put one in and go... Poor kid's going... I ran over and I'm like, Graham, stop. He goes, he like it.
Wow. And I don't know if you have children that are close in age and it's normal. They don't get along all the time.
And we have a very simple discipline. Like if you can't get along, you sit on the steps. Sit on the steps.
A fate worse than death. Sit on the steps. And they would just say, man, five minutes seems like an eternity to like a five-year-old. I was walking down the hall one day and out of the room where they shared, I hear this major thud. I'm like, that can't be good. So I start walking down the hall to investigate. As right before I get to the doorway, I hear my second son sniffling and my oldest son going, I didn't mean to, man. I didn't mean to, man. He said, we don't want to sit on the steps, man. We don't want to sit on the steps. And I hear Cody's like, I know man, just give me a minute.
Just give me a minute. And the older one to cheer him on, he's like, take the pain, man. Take the pain. Where do you hear that when you're six years old? Wow.
I'm surprised they survive. I really am. And then I remember we were reading these books when they were born. Read the books, put them on a schedule.
We did that that worked great. We read it and said, I'd like to make choices. I'd like to make choices early and often and let them find out through failure and learn through failure. Let them make choices.
When the earlier they are, make the choices obvious. When I was four years old, my oldest son came in, he was exhausted one night. It's time for bed. I'm not tired. I'm not tired.
Like, you're tired. And I thought, great part for a choice. I said, now. I said, you have a choice. Would you like to put on your pajamas and brush your teeth and go to bed? Or would you like a spanking?
He said, there's like 100 pajamas and go to bed? That's a great choice. That is the choice I would have made.
Good choice. If you have children, you know they're different. Eleven months later, my second son, he turns four. He's had a night. He's exhausted.
He's staggering. He's so tired. It's time for bed. I'm not tired. I don't want to stay up. I'm not tired. You're tired. I don't want to go to bed.
Okay, you have a choice. You want to brush your teeth, put on your pajamas and go to bed? Or do you want a spanking? And he stood there.
It took me 20 minutes. I'm like, did you hear me? He goes, um, after the spanking, can I stay up? Later, we have a little girl. How many of you have little girls? Wow.
They are different. She hits four. She's on the verge of tears. She's so quiet. She's tired. You're tired. You need to go to bed. It's past your bedtime. I don't want to go to bed. I don't want to go to bed. Well, you're tired. You need to go to bed. I don't want to go to bed. Okay, you have a choice. Do you want to put on your pajamas and brush your teeth and go to bed? Or do you want a spanking? She put her finger in my face. No!
I don't think that's one of the choices. And then there's details, different details. I love this.
You get a time where you're feeling bad about yourself, feeling a little down, a little depressed, thinking I need some entertainment, but I got no money. I tell you what to do. You go to Walmart.
Yes! Skip reality TV. You got reality right there. That is a freak show every day right there. I love Walmart. There's always, after midnight, there's always one family with little kids walking around Walmart at two in the morning.
And the mom's got her halter top on just yelling at the kids. Why are you so grumpy? What's wrong with you? So grumpy. You better straighten up. Why are you so grumpy? I'm living for the day that one of those little kids just goes, my parents are idiots!
I got a mullet and an earring and a tattoo and I'm only four. There are moments. There are just those moments in life. And I tell you, I love those moments. We were actually, when the boys were small, we took them to Disney World. I don't know if you've ever seen this or not, but the breakfast with the characters.
Have you seen that? It's where you pay like 40 bucks for cold eggs. And you're sitting there eating and wondering why you paid $40 for cold eggs and these big furry people walk out. And it's awesome. It's like, we're awesome. Last day we were there, we decided we want a momento, a memory. And we took them to downtown Disney, took them to a souvenir shop. They had this wall, huge wall of stuffed animals. And they're just like, oh, so you can get one of anything. My oldest son went into shopper's trauma.
I want this one, I want this one, I want this one. They're like eight of them going. I watched him freak out. And then I watched Cody. Cody was right down here to my right.
I'm watching Graham do spinning drills and Cody standing right there. Now Disney makes most of their stuffed animals gender neutral. They make a few that are masculine in nature.
To my knowledge, they only make one that is feminine in nature. And that is Dutchess the cat. My rough and tumble Cody is standing here holding Dutchess. I said, what are you doing there, buddy? Mom wants a kitty. I said, you want a kitty? And he goes, Mom wants a kitty.
I'm like, what? Tigger. Tigger's a cat. You love Tigger. No, Mom wants a kitty. The Lion King. You love Lion King. And he's like, Mom wants a kitty. Every time I made a suggestion, it got closer and tighter. And he held on for dear life.
I'm like, oh, that's your choice. He loved this cat. He kept this cat for years. And he never wavered. He loved this cat. I'm like, okay, he got the kitty.
All right. And I'll never forget, we came home. Two weeks later, I went to tuck him in to bed. And I always love to pray over my kids when they're little. I always pray and I'd touch the different parts. I would just pray. I'm like, God, give them wisdom beyond their days.
And I'd touch their head. Give them a heart of compassion. Give them arms that reach out to others. Give them legs that walk in the truth.
But, Lord, please. Please, most of all, Lord, give them joy. And I would just tickle them until they cannot breathe. And when they couldn't handle it anymore, they would go, my joy takes full. My joy takes full.
And I would go, Lord, thank you for giving them joy. And I walked in. I said, Cody, it's time for bed. He was kneeling on his bed. And I walked in and he's got his back to the door. I said, buddy, hop into bed. Time for bed. He goes, Daddy, come here.
And I walked around. There's Dutchess laying on his bed with his little green blanket over her. And he goes, Daddy, watch. And he leaned over and he goes, I pray the head and the heart and the legs. Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy. And he said, look, Daddy, I'm the daddy.
I said, you can keep the cat. What a priceless moment from Ken Kington on today's episode of Best of 2020 edition of Focus on the Family. John, this has been fun today, but Ken made an important point with that last story. Children mimic us. His son Cody was repeating the prayer that he'd heard Ken say with him every night. And I think that's a great reminder for us. As parents, your children are watching. Let them see you being a faithful follower of Jesus Christ. That's one of the best things you can do for them. And that can be overwhelming as moms and dads, but Ken has given us a really good first step. Pray with your kids. Model for them how we can approach our Heavenly Father and have just a really good conversation with him. That's a great point, John. And we'll post some helpful articles about prayer on our website.
Come check it out. And let me say, if you need someone to pray for you, please give us a call. Our staff would be honored to hear your concerns and pray with you. And if your situation warrants it, they can have one of our Caring Christian Counselors give you a call back.
And it's free. We do not charge for that service. As many of you know, we do need your financial support to make these services available to everyone who needs them. And this has been a very tough year for all of us, and the holidays can really seem to magnify the challenges, especially for those who are being impacted by unemployment and isolation. So if the Lord has blessed you this year, can you share that blessing with others by donating to Focus on the Family? Help us give the gift of hope to families. And when you make a donation of any amount, we'd like to send you a DVD of Ken's message with over an hour of content.
So much more. Get the DVD and share some laughs with your family. Yeah, give us a call.
Our number is 800, the letter A in the word family. We've got the link in the episode notes for you to donate to the work of Focus on the Family and request your copy of Wow Moments, the DVD by Ken Kington. Be sure to join us next time as we continue presenting our best of 2020 broadcasts. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for listening to this Focus on the Family podcast. Take a moment and give us a rating, won't you?
And share this with a friend who could use a laugh. I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ. Listen to passages read by Adventures in Odyssey characters, Whit, Connie, and Jason. And we hope it's a helpful tool for your family to incorporate scripture into everyday life. Just a few minutes a day, that's all it takes. Go to bringyourbible.org slash read with AIO. That's bringyourbible.org slash read with AIO.
Whisper: medium.en / 2024-01-10 14:50:26 / 2024-01-10 15:01:00 / 11