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September 16, 2020 6:00 am
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Hi this is Jim Daly with Focus on the Family uplifting music is such an encouragement to my faith and I can't wait to experience the powerful songs that will be part of sea life 2020 join us online as we welcome Phil Stacy Danny Koepke and a surprise musical guest or two for this transformational pro-life event sea life 2020 is on September 26 at 8 PM Eastern time. For more information, text, heartbeat, to 72,005 fast reaction was coming.
I got the scan somebody else's police therefrom because I could see the screen you are describing what it's like to want to and I'm sitting that seeing the baby leaving icon region ultrasound that Sarah Williamson and she's back with us today on Focus on the Family John Fuller and your hostess focus presidents and other Jim Daly we heard a portion of Sarah's powerful story last time and we want to continue today. It's good to be good guarantee that the reason we're bringing her story to Focus on the Family is because of our commitment to life. We stand on that pillar. We believe every human being is created in the image of God from conception to the grave and we as Christians in this culture need to proclaim that truth and stepped forward to defend innocent human life and that's why we created our life from New York event back in May 2019. We had wonderful speakers and great music and we culminated the entire celebration in Times Square with that 4D ultrasound of the baby and it was incredible to everyone in Times Square lit up when we put that ultrasound up on the big screens and were translating that to an online celebration on September 26 with RC life 2020 event you can go to our website and get more details but it's going to be a free online program that will highlight powerful pro-life stories, great worship music and a course again we will be highlighting a 4D ultrasound of a precious baby and it's going to be a wonderful presentation.
I know the run of show I it's coming together really well but meanwhile today's program as Sir Williams reflects our passion and fire for standing for human life no matter what.
If you missed last time you got to get the download, you're instantly going to love this woman and her story is here really is a gifted speaker and a teacher and a writer and she's a research professor at Regent College in a research associate at the University of Oxford. Sarah and her husband Paul have two adult daughters and she's chronicled her story so beautifully in the book titled perfectly human. Nine months with carrion. We have details about that and RC life 2020 event in the episode notes Sarah welcome back to Focus on the Family thinking we shared her story last time, but just to give a quick recap that you and your husband Paul were expecting your third daughter when your world was turned upside down at 20 weeks, she was diagnosed with lethal skeletal display shows meaning the birthing process would have literally crushed her bones. Doctors wanted you to terminate you and Paul wanted to follow what you felt was God's will to see the pregnancy through in you face great opposition from colleagues and friends then you had. I'm sure the medical professionals and others who had opinions about your decision for you and Paul, your decision to take the baby to term. What were some of those things that those outside of your family, faith, said to you at that time.
Yeah, I quickly realized with some shock that Enoch called said the decision not to abort normal fetus requires an explanation interesting because it was all yeah why why why is he Jesus I could hear them and ate it was but I was curiosity but also in complete disbelief. So the next day when we went back to the hospital and we told him we would decided to carry the baby to time the Delta could didn't even try to hide his prize. He's kept saying over and asked Ken that this baby want to live right and and 85%. We discovered if those who find themselves in the situation we found themselves engaging site determining weekly and counted disbelief on a degree of hostility. Remember my my doctor saying to me as she shuffled papers on the desk and set up a pencil down noisily so you decided not to terminate because of them. Strong religious beliefs is not right like that's a terrible fence like it's sort of and I thought I could say to you, yes I did. I said yes I do have strong religious beliefs but I'm not sure that's why I've decided not to discuss science when she stopped shuffling of papers and catching up to me right now. She's puzzled now she's puzzled and I said this is a beautiful person is teaching me how to love teaching me how to hunt and I want to spend every day with that I possibly can and him went out of the hospital little dream from the Delta leaving with a tissue, wiping a tear at her because she didn't understand.
Yeah, put me in a box. You may carrion a rule nor an ethical principle is somehow that was a form of dehumanizing as well. She needed an explanation for my decision so she could put me in a religious box and then it sort of take something for it but the idea that this was a pulsing that I could love and have a relationship with that was when he cares then I would have my college rice teaching and investing some of my college colleagues with just really troubled by my decision particularly remember one of my more militant feminists colleagues and sang to me, but that will tetanus if this baby's and I'm thinking that would be great and I see you discovered it. The babies got profound disabilities in Ukraine to me like eyes would bow to pumpout because in how well she went on to say, it's your responsibility to exercise your right to chase have been women in the past who full to make sure you had a right to cheese and flat career was really significant to her identity and she couldn't understand why I might put my career as it was, she saw it in in some jeopardy by having a child with disabilities. Sarah's expressive word that comes to my mind as you describe it is, she was threatened she will stress the names threat this woman was threatened and it's just interesting that they can't be satisfied with what you want to do.
I think will soon just a tad frightened because carrion represented a whole value system the way of thinking and being in the wild.
We somehow didn't fit with the hierarchy of achievement Impala.
All the categories we have of what constitutes a healthy life, healthy body.
Success somehow got shaken and you are in the Western culture today as you describe that what strikes me is a silent question that I'm assuming so I want to make that known. But it's almost like she's saying if you're so profoundly convinced that this is right in my wrong right that's really the point and then you fight more viscerally to deny it, and in the book. I'll tell you what happened to that particular lady who full me so vehemently when she saw how sad I was actually how clean my grief was off to carrion, died. She became my friend silenced, the story is changed how she saw something and I was able to cite how do you grieve the termination. It's so much more difficult in the short time it might have looked like the best option. The line of least resistance in the lungs hand. How do you grieve the termination and that woman had a different story well and what's amazing about that is through your and Paul's life, you're demonstrating this reminds me of the early church is not finger wagging it's not arguing the finer legal points of abortion or choice issues living it, and then instructing almost by accident. What you're doing and then that conviction the Lord can use right that's what happened was so strange is like realized when I was carrying carrying is how a society treats its most fungible men this yell, the sick, elderly tells you everything you really need to know about how that society thinks about people that's exactly right. Because ultimately Jesus identified himself completely with the week and how society treats them on your boys really how we treat Sarah. I really want to lean in there and you've got all this chatter coming both you and Paul people friends saying thanks to you. How did your relationship with the Lord change in this period of time. What was happening at the most core relationship that you have with your heavenly father dies 16 weeks where Jenny of a lifetime that truly that they were a transformational journey for me in my relationship with God changed everything turned everything upside down. How what was going on. That sounds profound, and I know some women particularly say Sarah Kelby because everything about the situation was not what I wanted. I hadn't planned it. I want a malformed child.
This wasn't what I wanted and I also knew that somehow it didn't feel like it was the situation that was optimal anyway. And yet even a not date stress and that difficulty God was so present and no way I was that more apparent than actually at the time of the labor and tell you a little bit about that, you know, I think we need to hear that. Let me use the image of adopt dull fast. You know if you see nice touch dolls where they insight is a tiny little baby doll arrived.
Then you get all menu: nesting dolls in the last nesting doll pregnancy was like in nesting doll carrion in the middle and I was holding her in my body and pull my lovely husband was holding a space and all community hotshots family while holding our family, but my civil will all being held by this extraordinary love of God and so it was an incredibly painful but very safe place to be because we were being held, and he felt all we need the grace of God and then the night became this is really critical.
I want to emotionally grab this to me at such a powerful and you go into labor. Most women and their husbands are going to be excited.
This is that moment water breaks. This is especially her first time. This is your third child, but just that expectancy. I remember for Jean one of our boys was born at two in the morning so I got to run the red lights Lloyd and Shirley, a police officer to pull me over nobody bid got to the hospital quickly because Jean was she was ready and I think she gave birth Detroit 10 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. Everybody's got a smile even hearing that. But you go into this labor, knowing the outcome is going to be different.
I try to pack my labor back probate dozens of times because I could not get round. I am packing the labor back to go into labor to face the death of this faith is even that was what am I going to do and it anticipating a bath and a death is not right right you should be moving towards life and I need as I let go of carrion out of my body. I was letting hug. I went to Harrington and what was most frightening of all was the thought that she would suffer because we been told that when she went down the birth canal has little bone structure with cross cassette bones went strong enough for the best price S and that was the thing that haunted me more than any other thing to think only doing the right thing here because she's probably going to die in real pain. She went back to pre-is impacting my life a bag of China visualizes you.
Do you need to visualize when you're preparing for a bus that's how they teach you to do it when you D prenatal care how you visualize that right and in the end, an extraordinary thing happened which I write about in the book.
I tell the story. My own blood pressure collapsed.
Labor happened when it came it was a medical crisis for me and it nearly yeah, I was rushed into hospital.
I mean, by the grace of God I was already in the hospital having a check and then I saw go unconscious because my blood pressure collapsed because like develop audiology on the house when that's a much amniotic fluid because of the deformity of the baby can't swallow the fluid so I just swelled up and it was putting too much pressure on the blood vessels, and it caused my blood pressure times so it was terrifying for pool to get a message in the middle of a business meeting in London going going into label actually pool your last collapsed. You need to get to the hospital right now and he had to take attacks across London. 90 was even to get there in time and my mom who is that with me at the hospital. She stood outside and they brought me in the polythene wrapping and I was moving into unconsciousness with holy all the emergency equipment coming round think you just cannot lease me and that which we never had for that.
There was a part of the equation LOL oh no it wasn't and it wasn't part of the doctors equation Ida and I remember as I went unconscious pranks on 23 and I don't remember anything until I came around the pool sitting next to me and we said to each other. We didn't expect there so many beautiful stories, underlying sources, I was thinking as you are speaking about your baby being safe inside of you that she was perfectly safe able to live in this house at least say her situation.
She would be crushed as she went through the birth canal and what an expression like the Lord right our relationship with God that he must feel when were in him when were with him that we are safe no matter what you know around us and said it happened and then they had to ingenious saliva. The label, as long as 22 as it should be like that with this pregnancy and at one point I reached the end and I just could not keep going. The contractions was so painful and I need it with every contraction she was going. I was losing and I'll never forget what Paul said to me, he lay down on the floor next to me. I was on the floor doing what you have to do when you try to give Beth and I said I can't do this and he said something I'll never forget. He said you need doing what every parent has to do To letter and it really hurts when we left children when they going off to college, whether they getting my mother that fine even with taking them to preschool for the first time. It's really hard to let children go and them so in a sense I was only doing what every parent has to do which is to let the child if the child back to God. That happens in the process. Typically, right where we learned that over 18, 19, 22, but it will do it right then he has you giving birth have that sense of having to let go and give this child of God is so hard, but it this is where the miracle pot is a story happened.
I was on my own in the room had an epidural off that pole went to sleep. I was on my own in the laboring. 1 o'clock in the morning and I can only describe the presence of God came into the room like I've never known the presence of God before I was a heavy presence and I knew that she gone later on a it was confirmed we didn't have any fetal monitoring. We didn't want it. It was confirmed that she had indeed died at that time just before the last stage of labor and you know what she died of placental abruption that can happen in any bus painless, cutting off of the blood supply to her little body and she just died enveloped in my body and my love and then seamlessly enveloped in the left, and in the end abnormalities. She didn't dive them what a beautiful story and God became came just to take a home, sparing how one moment of pain and his love was present and not for me was probably one of the most profound experiences of my whole life. Realizing he is this little baby that all culture thinks doesn't is to live in a way, doesn't even have the same legal rights as a quote normal baby not treated under the law, the same in Britain. So in a sense a disposable item dehumanize ID humanize not even quite human. And God came and it was a demonstration of his life that stand all of my ways of thinking about everything upside down. That's what I so appreciate about your story right from the beginning when you talked in that way God spoke to you in Paul's heart to say love this child and he was faithful yeah I just I think that is so profound. You did hold her. She was born she was not alive. Describe even that finality for you the closure that the provided you emotionally, and what did you do you sit you did some beautiful things in terms of taking your handprint and taking her footprint describe all that is so wonderful. It didn't feel right.
At the time because we were really in an agony of pain, but was so glad that we did take a little footprint and we took a look of had and we trust about them beautiful claims that people like. Given and just being able to dignify this body that was really very deformed.
I can only imagine but I I appreciated that had to be extremely difficult. It was just now have that feeling again of being done with it. It was very hot. It was difficult and I can't skim over that it's not easy to see you lying baby profoundly deformed, which is not a citizen to me. It's a picture of leaning in to the agony of this life rather than running from it exactly because I think the reflection I had when I looked at her little body and I I found it difficult because there was a disjunction between this beautiful pass not experienced in my way and this really deformed physical body but what I realized was she had exactly the body she needed to do everything God had created had to do and how little body was perfect for being in the way that he would never have run it would never have held right Sarah. They were right at the end.
I mindful of women who are listening that of had difficulty giving birth of the head.
Maybe a similar situation like you and Paul have maybe something more severe. Who knows my own brother and his wife lost their son to cancer far too early age.
It runs a whole spectrum. Yes, exactly. And I think you've expressed it so beautifully how to live this life full of inadequacies and full of upsets and full of discouragement but yet the Lord calls us to something bigger and again I love so much what you pulpit to demonstrate your love to this little girl because God told you to. Now I want to ask you for that couple for that woman who is hurting, she didn't really go through the process quite the way you did what which Seder what words of encouragement. Would you have for her. And maybe she's been riddled with guilt. Maybe she made the decision. You know, I just wanted to get rid of it.
I didn't want to deal with. Maybe the baby wasn't even you know, handicapped in any way that abortion woman.
What would you say to her that her TP pulling what you just this. There are two women two families two parents, one of the parents who face unbelievable anguish and pain in the family's and then there's the woman he's chosen to have an a termination. I would say different things to size 2 cents people, people who are not pain and anguish and you want to run from a situation of pain is just saying why we find God is in the crease and pain. He meets us that when we least expect him so we don't have to be afraid of the pain and somehow allowing ourselves to open our hearts instead of close them down and we place a hot stone, even to our children when they test this somehow opening its to the pain that we fear that can be a place where we encounter God is what I want to say for those you have miscarriages. Those who in fact want to have babies in the car somehow in the pain we can meet for the women he made a different choice from mine.
Can Amy be inclined. I just want to sit next to speak for every time she knows. Anyway, in the same way in that place God is present Sir William's powerful. I hope people know this, we say that almost every time John were here for you Focus on the Family with current Christian counselors who would want to talk to you and you know it might be that we have to take your name and number and call you back but do it you not going to surprise us with anything these people have heard I would dare say almost everything and it's okay this is life and helping one another is what God wants us to do and were so grateful for you Sarah for your husband, Paul Ford illustrating how to love the way God calls us to love, to the end, even if it's just the beginning and it's so beautiful your book 9 months with carrion perfectly human powerful. Thank you, thank you and we do have this beautiful story is serious, captured it in the book for you will be happy to send it to just get in touch with us. You can call the 800 number for that or for a consultation with one of our counselors are numbers 800-232-6459 were online and we got the details in the episode notes and as were looking forward toward RC like 2020 event in just a few weeks.
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So join us today and take a stand for life and right now will send you a copy of Sir perfectly human as our way of saying thank you for a monthly play dollars to Focus on the Family, you'll be saving a baby and getting a fantastic course if you're not a position to commit to a monthly pledge and we certainly get that a lot of folks can't only will send to you for one time gift as well donate your copy of perfectly human contact information in the episode notes on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for listening today to Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back. As we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ