From Orphan to Miracle

Well, I'd say this. One of the things I never foresaw happening in the Wilson legacy was adoption and foster care. Yeah. And I think it's been one of the greatest things that we've experienced as a family. Yeah.

So what am I talking about? We're talking about our middle son, Austin, and his wife, Kendall, have adopted two boys. And it's interesting. Well, the second one's in process. Yes.

Through fostering. And they're biological brothers. Uh-huh. Yeah.

And that's fun. But the cool thing was for them is even in high school when they were dating, they talked about this. They always had this felt call that they would adopt someday. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.

And I'm Dave Wilson. And you can find us at familylifetoday.com or on our Family Life app. This is Family Life Today. They've been married over a decade, and it's such a beautiful picture of this little blonde-haired, blue-eyed sort of family adopting these two little boys really from Mexican descent. And it's just such a beautiful picture of the kingdom of God.

It really is when you see them walking or jumping in their SUV. Yeah. And again, never really thought of that for the Wilsons. And we've got a guest with us today who's already told us a story a little bit about adoption. We've got Judge Joseph Wood with us.

And I love saying Judge because I don't think we've ever had a judge on here before. Thank you for being back with us on Family Life Today. Excellent.

Excellent. I'm so glad to be with you and your Family Life Today audience. And I tell you what, just looking over at you, you just exude joy, doesn't he?

Oh, God. This man and his wife, June, you've been married how many years, Joseph? Twenty-nine years. She's kept me.

She's pretty amazing. Twenty-nine years is all she is. You have three daughters. Three daughters. Three grandchildren. Three daughters like her. So they keep me on point all the time.

And then three grandchildren is exactly right. And I wish you all could meet Joseph, because when he looks at you, he has your total attention, Joseph. Like when we were having lunch, you really see people, you want to hear their story, and you're passionate about that. And that's been fun. But you have a pretty weighty title, too. Yeah.

What is the title? Exactly. I know it's- County Judge. And so I am Washington County Judge here in Arkansas. And explain exactly a county judge, because we think of judges in different ways.

That's correct. I'm not sure we understand exactly what county judge is. So in the state of Arkansas, in probably a dozen states, they're the chief executive of the county.

They're the one who presides over the county. And we've already heard a little bit of your story, which, you know, you wrote a book, a children's book called Joey's Journey, Saving Joey, a true life story, and, you know, a sequel called Adopting Joey. And the neat thing about your book is when you start reading the book, and I know a lot of children have read it and teachers have read it to children, they don't know it's your story. That's right. That's exactly right.

Which is amazing. Again, we don't need you to tell the whole story again, but the fact that your mother, who you've never met- Never. Left you in a box in the snow on a front porch in Chicago and waited and watched to see if anybody would pick you up- In the middle of winter.

You were saved- That's correct. By a man who found that box. We've already heard that story.

Sure, sure. You got to meet him- Yes. Just 10 years ago by finding who he was. I mean, what an incredible story. But you really grew up in an orphanage for 10 years.

Ten years before I was adopted. So take us back from there. Sure. So Caesar finds you.

Sure. They decide to put you in an orphanage. How long were you there and how did you end up getting out of it? So again, not knowing how old I was when they got me, but they thought somewhere within a couple of weeks. No umbilical cord or anything like that. No record. So that's all we know. So you really don't know your birth date? Don't know the birth date. What do you celebrate? The 20th, which is the date that the people who came and got me.

Yeah. Star Falls came to me. Loretta and Sylvester, they were married. She had wrote in her high school yearbook, Loretta, I want to be a teacher and I want a house full of kids.

And my dad was a construction worker and built a large part of the city of Chicago. What the story is, is grandma and my dad's tells was, oh my gosh, your father hated coming home from work because your mother put them back to work. She wanted to get pregnant and have a kid. She wanted that house full.

She had graduated from high school, went home, became a teacher and five years of marriage, no kids. And so one day she's like, well, let's go to the orphanage. We can get a little girl. You'll be a great dad.

We can foster care. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. This woman is, oh man. All the women in my family, you will realize they're very focused and driven. When they get their eyes and focus on something, you can hang it up.

They're going to get it. And so they decided to go to the orphanage downtown and she sees all these kids. And you got to know my mother, she loved children. And she saw all these children. And she wanted a girl. She wanted a girl. But when she got there and saw all these kids, she wanted all of them.

That's what the story is. She wanted all of them. And she said, nope, I want to foster this little boy right here. And so they started fostering me. And within a couple of months of bringing me home, she's relaxed because she's got a kid. Dad is like, yes, she's got a kid. And she gets pregnant. A year later, she has my brother. She gets pregnant again. She has my sister. She gets pregnant again.

She has my brother. She had three kids back to back to start fostering care in me. So I was a little concerned with the orphanage people because they were like, okay, now that they got their own kids, will they turn this kid back in? And so they continued to foster. And at 10 years old, they said, nope, let's go ahead. Because they had been moving.

They had to keep moving to different places. And even more real was at 10 years old, they were going through a divorce. And at that age, in the 70s, you didn't have a single mom with a bunch of kids adopting a kid. But again, my mother's a force of nature. And no, this is my kid.

I've watched and had him and I did everything to birth him. And so she ended up getting that. I never knew any of that until 10 years ago. I do remember, though, being in the courtroom and listening to the judge and who said, hey, you love your mom? I'm like, yeah, your name's going to go from Thompson to Wood. Is that okay?

Yeah. And I'm like, how do I remember all that if I was adopted when I was a baby? Well, I wasn't adopted as a baby or as an infant. I was adopted at 10 years old. That's why I can remember all that. I always knew I was adopted, but I didn't understand what any of that meant. Even at 10 years old when in the courtroom and they're saying, your name's going to change. I didn't really understand what that really meant.

It was really around 11, 12 when I started. Man, I got brothers and sisters. They really don't look like me.

They don't act like me. And mom was trying to help me understand, well, you know, you were giving up for adoption. We came and we loved you.

And so we got you. And I was always loved by these guys, but I always wanted, man, let's go and find what happened. Let's find my parents. And my mother's like, well, why don't you turn 18? We'll help. We'll get a private investigator. We'll help you do all that. Well, I could not wait to turn 18.

Slowest years of my life was high school because it could not go fast enough because I wanted to hurry up. So 17 years old, 11 months, 29 days. We got the money.

We got the private eye. And my mother's like, what are you talking about? You said when I turn 18, we can go and find my birth parents and try to. And she just broke. It just broke her because she didn't think I was a good mom.

They had nothing. It was, again, this identity thing. And I saw and I never I was very gracious to my mother, very grateful. I used to thank her all the time. And she would stop thanking me. But again, I knew I could be still in this place. And so I had to start going around her because it was still in me.

I want to know who and what. All right. They got files in Springfield, Illinois.

They're still filed. But I'm going to go down there. I'm old enough.

I can go. I had to do the draft and I mean, sign up to be eligible. I get student loans. I can drive a car, get a gun.

I want to know who my information is. I'm going to Springfield and I'm not letting my mom know because she was just so I started going around. I would call and talk to my grandmother. And next thing you know, she was called because they wanted to protect me.

I didn't understand that. Well, finally, I got in my head. I'm coming home for spring break. Call one of my buddies. We're going to Springfield.

We're going to stay down there until they give us our records. Seven o'clock tomorrow morning. He said, I'll be there seven o'clock in the morning. Little before then, I get a phone call. The house is the neighbor across the street. Hey, Joy, can you take me downtown to to work out?

My car is not working. And I said, I'm not going that way. I'm going down to Springfield. She said, oh, was Loretta up? I said, well, yeah, yeah, ma. And she gave her the phone.

And why don't you ask Joy? And I hear all I know is she's telling her, well, he said he's going to Springfield or something. Springfield, I hear my mother say. And by this point, the door is knocking.

It's my buddy. We're getting ready to go to Springfield. And she gets off the phone. She said, well, I'll take it.

She gets off the phone. She started Kevin. She calls me Kevin. And when she's getting to a point, it's Joseph, Kevin, Kevin. Ms. Helen said you're going down to Springfield.

What's in Springfield? And I'm like, oh, she told me. Well, now my partner's in the house. He's like, are you ready? I'm like, well, my mom's going down to Springfield to get my original birth certificate. Whatever it is, I got to get.

They sealed the file and all. And she just broke and cried. I'm like, oh, Bob. So I'm not going. And so he's upset because we're not going.

He's like, I could have stayed in bed at seven in the morning. Anyway, it was just a long journey on that. What is it in kids? It's probably in all of us that wants to know the beginning and wants to know who their biological parents are. I've met some folks who don't want to know. They know that they've been given up for adoption and they don't care because they in their mind, they're thinking, well, if they love me, they would have kept me. And I do think it's a facade.

I think it's a they don't want to because it is it is hard when you start really grappling and wrestling with that. And growing up, especially my teenage years, when you're going through all changes anyway, puberty and identity, hair on your face. You're just trying to figure out this. And you're trying to figure out who you are.

Absolutely. Did you go through some struggle because you feel like it was connected? You go through regular stuff anyway as a teenager. You just add that piece on because at least if you know who your mom and dad, you grew up with that and you start to see your hair coming on your face or whatever. You can look in the mirror and say, yeah, I'm getting that from granddaddy or that part is getting from mom. But when you're adopted, you don't have you have no sense of that. And so on top of that, you get your voice is changing and your friends are changing, going to schools. So you had growing up in Chicago, a lot of drugs, a lot of violence. And so trying to do things is keep family.

They're going through divorce stuff that you normally go through in life, period. You add on the fact that you all know who you are, whereas other people know who my mom and dad is. You get around Thanksgiving and you say, how you chew that turkey leg like Uncle Bill.

Everybody know Uncle Bill and they laugh. But when you say that to someone adopted, are you just saying that or no? And you know, again, the people, my mom and dad who adopted me, they love me.

I can you couldn't have a bigger cheerleader than them. And sometimes I think they overdid it because they want me to feel like I was less than or not a part of. But internally, you're still wondering, man, I wonder what happened and wonder why. Again, this whole I tell you the struggle, the biggest was trying to come to a place where I said, OK, was I a product of rape or incest or interracial relation that wasn't acceptable? And I only got to a place where I could say, I guess it didn't matter. She had me. And after two months of meditating on marinating on one thought, I come up with another thought and I get to a place I guess it didn't matter. She had me.

Well, when I meet Mr. Cesar, the guy who found me, and I started sharing that whole my whole life, I kind of had that in my head. He said, no, she did more than had you because she put you in a place where you could be found. She must have loved you because she could have left you in a black plastic bag and left you in the alley. And I would have never found you.

You would have froze out there. And it just took it as a whole nother level about this woman. Again, it wasn't the way I wanted to be loved or thought, but again, she could have boarded me. And I'm such a pro-life person, partly because I am here, because of that. And regardless of the circumstance, I'm here. And I thank God for it. But now even more so that there's a guy, Cesar, and the people who who came and got me are orphaned.

It's committed to who take care of kids who are abandoned or parents who couldn't take care of the kids. And so that's again, all orchestrated by by the hand of God. And so it sounds like your adopted parents were pretty remarkable. They were.

They are. And here's what I would ask. What would you say to the adoptive parents listening that have a child and maybe their child's doing the same thing you did? They want to know.

Yes. And your mom was sort of hurt by that. What would you say to the adoptive parent? How should they respond?

Like you respond to anything that your kid is going to work through and work on. You got to love them along. You got to give them a little bandwidth so they can spread their wings because, again, you restrict them so much. They may not be able to fly. You want to open up the butterfly cocoon and let the butterfly get out.

But if there is no struggle in some of that, then they won't be strong enough to fly. But you also that protection piece. I didn't understand protection of the kid until I start having kids. Oh, now I get why mama was the way she was.

I think if you're if you got a kid who's in that search, you set the parameters as best you can and allow them that space that you're going to help. And again, it's not about you, per se. It's about you both. It's about what does that relation looks like for both of you guys?

My mom and I got together and became even tighter as I start having kids because I got it. What she was trying to do is protect me. But then she got that. It wasn't about me leaving her or me wanting.

I'm 18. I'm not trying to find another parent to tell me what to do, how to do. But she didn't get that at the time. So talking to those who may think about foster care and in particular adopting to get to that space, how do you love your kid enough to let them go? Which is ultimately what we end up doing anyway. No, at one point they will find a spouse and move on and all. But hopefully you've given them enough where they want to stay tethered and come back and call back from time to time. Yeah, I was thinking when your answer to that question is really the same advice you give any parent with their own biological child. They're at a stage where they have to become an adult. They become an adult. It's a little scary as the mom or dad because you're like, wow, they're pulling away, making decisions, and you got to let them fly.

At the same time, you have enough boundaries so they don't crash. They know they can come back or call or something. I love the fact that, I mean, you are in a government office. You're very successful and you're using all the gifts that God's given you. And yet you take the time to write these two books, Saving Joey and Adopting Joey. And you take these books into schools and even around the world and you read to kids. Talk about that of the response of the kids.

Wow. So I do that because that's who I am. Since I was growing up and mom said, you need to watch your brothers and sisters. I got to get a second job. So I was told to be involved in the community in which I lived and watch your brothers and sisters. It was not anything I put my hand up and say, I want to do this stuff. I was told to do it because I was the oldest. Well, I started a youth organization and I thought that would be a good place to keep my brothers and sisters.

Well, it grew fast because so many other parents were looking for a safe place for the kids. Wait, wait, wait. So you started this?

That's right. This teen group in Chicago. How old were you?

I don't know, probably 14, 15. In fact, it got so big and so fast that the adults would have their town hall meetings. And I was their liaison for the young people. So I would come and speak to them about what we see or what the young people are seeing with the gangs and the drugs.

So now going to the schools, I thoroughly enjoy just being out and talking. But it's also my way of giving back, which was given to me. There was a community and law enforcement and the orphanage and people who came and said, I'm going to get a kid as opposed to, again, we have our own biological kids.

There's no choice in that. But for somebody to go and say, I'm going to give my time, my love to someone. And so if I can share that and a kid who may be in foster care, I go and I'll read. And at that time, maybe a group of third graders or second grade kindergartners, what have you. And I'm reading and at the end of the story and I say, and the little kid that's in that basket, that was me. And there's a and it's the teacher like, that's you? Yes, ma'am. And then you see the kids, though, the kids.

And all of a sudden the hand goes up. I'm in foster care or I've been adopted and I know long after I'm gone, they're still having that organic conversation about what does that even mean? That every kid doesn't have a mom and dad that's just with them that you take almost for granted? No, some some have struggles or some.

And so I just to know that that's happening and they can go home and they can talk and maybe it's happening. I go and visit churches or men's group and we talk about that. And how do we take some of that as part of a community to say, I may not be able to adopt, but I can foster.

Or if I can't foster care, I can at least volunteer, take somebody to a ball game. It changes lives. It changed my life, obviously. And it's obvious that your faith and your wife June's faith, like that's who you are. That's who I am. Why is that important?

Well, it won it from the very beginning. I was told I had a minister who used to work for me and I was struggling with a lot of this long. Shortly after I found out that I was abandoned and I said, I got to make some calls. I got to find out who this guy is. And he said, you're struggling with because you're going on a reverse plan.

I said, what are you talking about? He said, as a minister, you see people struggle with trying to figure out identity. And he said, most of us are born to our mom and dad. And we see dad as like God, he's big, he's strong and everybody looks up to him. And as we get older, we realize that dad has a lot of flaws and mama calls him out on those flaws. And then they start their journey to find Christ and God.

And he said, you went in reverse. God had his hand on the very beginning in your life. And you're just on this journey trying to figure out who your earthly father is. And again, I know God has had his hand in all of this. And so I think the faith walk has been on the very beginning. It's kind of helped what got me through my teenage years and writing to God about why me?

Why did I get to this spot? And again, I guess it doesn't matter, I'm here. And you've been watching over and you've kept me. And I got my master's in Christian leadership.

And again, we spent a lot of time with a number of men's group. I do Bible studies in the morning with folks in different states. It's just what keeps me moving. And if I can continue to share the heart to someone that if they can see Christ in me, then that's our call, right? He said, keep your light on, be the salt.

And that's what our call is. Well, it's truly interesting. There's so many facets of your story that you can step back. I know you've done this your whole life and go, wow, look at God's hand. And one of them that's very interesting is the people that saw you. And one of the passages I love in Scripture, and I've preached on it many times over 30 years as a pastor, is the end of the first chapter of James where he says, this is what real religion is. And he talks about keeping a tight rein on our tongue, which is interesting.

He goes right there. But then he says, caring for orphans and widows in distress. And you were an orphan, somebody cared for you.

We know God was above the whole thing, but there was a person and a name and a mom and then your adopted parents. And I just think we, as followers of Christ, you just said, turn on the light and be the salt. We are called, the church is called, to see orphans and care for them.

And you're sitting here today, a judge in Arkansas, because somebody did that. And that's our call. If you're a follower of Christ, you can't walk by. That's why we believe in life from conception to the grave. And that's why we come alongside and say, God put me beside this person and I have eyes to see, am I going to act? And when we act, life change happens like yours. In Washington County, Arkansas, which is where I am the judge there, the court got together and they put a resolution together that we're going to be known as a pro-life county. And so we're the first pro-life county in the state of Arkansas. And again, I'm a long time advocate for life and pro-life marches in D.C. and it's always sub-below zero to see the women, the young people out there that just says, yeah, his life will go and he will have his way. And you talk about scripture, this year I said, we're going to stand on Esther 4.14 for such a time as this.

Time as this, that's good. Well, well, Esther was an orphan. And just look to see again, she didn't think a whole lot.

I never dreamed that this would be the work that I am being as a deputy secretary or judge. But she didn't think she would ever be queen either. But God orchestrates some of this. And at that time it was for her and some of those people in that area.

But she did not know that work would end up impacting generations thereafter. He's going to have his way and he's going to use his people. And if you stay on your journey and open up and be used by him, he will. And I just, again, I'm grateful I've been blessed and if he takes me again right now, I know I've been blessed.

Well, and God's really using you. You know, I'm thinking, wouldn't this be a great thing to do with your kids to buy Saving Joey and Adopting Joey? Read it to your kids and talk about it. I think this begins in our homes of talking about our responsibility as believers to see the orphan, to see the abandoned, to see the widow and to say, kids, how can we impact? How can we love? And even, this is a hard one, to be open-handed of asking God, God, what do you have for me in this area? Because Joseph, your story is so inspiring.

Thank you for sharing it, all that God has done in your life. In the book of James, chapter one, we read that pure and undefiled religion is taking care of the orphan and the widow in their need. And I think Ann Wilson's charged all of us to be asking, what's our role in that as a family? That's a great conversation for us to be having with our kids and to be thinking creatively about how we can help the orphans and the widows in our world. And reading books together as a family, the books that Ann was talking about, Saving Joey and Adopting Joey, these books tell Joseph Wood's story.

That's a great starting place. These are books we have available in our Family Life Today Resource Center. You can go online to order your copy of these books. The website is familylifetoday.com or you can call to order. Our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website is familylifetoday.com.

The number to call to order the books, Saving Joey and Adopting Joey, 1-800-358-6329. That's 1-800-F as in Family, L as in Life, and then the word Today. Now, this is a big weekend for us here at Family Life. We have seven Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaways happening all across the country.

Williamsburg, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, San Antonio, Texas, Sacramento, California, Portland, Oregon. Thousands of couples joining us for what has been for more than 40 years now a transformational weekend getaway for couples. David Robbins, who's the president of Family Life, is here with me. And David, our hope, our prayer is that this is going to be a life-changing, marriage-changing weekend for these couples. Now, man, it's so encouraging to have this many Weekends to Remember going on in one weekend. We invite you to pray, but we also invite you to think about as the year to come to check it out because there's a totally refreshed experience. The same timeless truth is represented at Weekend to Remember, but we have worked hard. Really, we started before the pandemic, but the pandemic break of Weekends to Remember allowed us to complete a refresh of the Weekend to Remember that I think you would be very encouraged about. Certainly, our teams have been out there loving hearing how people are enjoying it. And I got to speak to a couple who've been married for 10 years, and the wife told me, you know, I learned this weekend that I don't need to panic in our pain.

Our issues are common and expected in marriage, and there's always hope because of Jesus and Jesus meeting us in our time of need. And that's how Meg and I have been ministered to at Weekends to Remember as we've gone before as participants, and time and time again, God meets people where they're at. We invite you to pray, and we're excited about this weekend, and we invite you to check out the 55 locations we'll have in the spring and see if there's one near you coming that you'd want to join. Well, in fact, you may want to think about giving a Weekend to Remember as a gift to children or friends during the holidays. You can get a Weekend to Remember gift card.

Maybe give it to your spouse as a way of saying, let's get away together for a weekend in the spring. Get more information about the upcoming Weekend to Remember schedule and about the Weekend to Remember gift certificates when you go to familylifetoday.com. And with that, we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. And we hope you can join us Monday when we're going to talk about what we can do as parents to help all of us, our kids, ourselves, stay focused on Jesus during the Advent season. Clayton Green's going to join us with a great new idea. Hope you can be here as well. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Anne Wilson, I'm Bob Lapine. We'll see you Monday for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a production of Family Life, a crew ministry, helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.