The Truth That Can Change Lives

For many years, Jennifer Lyle has been faithfully teaching the Bible to little kids. She says she's amazed at their capacity to learn. I'll teach almost every week something to these three-year-olds, and I ask them questions at the end.

Not every three-year-old is ready for as much of this as four, or whatever, it's a scale. But they will know stuff at the end of every week that I did not learn, sometimes until I was in seminary. This is Family Life Today. Our hosts are Dave and Anne Wilson.

I'm Bob Lapine. You can find us online at familylifetoday.com. Are you taking full advantage of your children's ability to comprehend spiritual truth at whatever age they are?

Are you pouring into them? We're going to talk today about how, as parents and grandparents, we can all do a better job of that. Stay with us. And welcome to Family Life Today.

Thanks for joining us. I just have to point out that while we're talking this week about teaching big ideas to kids in a way that they can grasp it, we're also seeing modeled for us, I think, what the Bible talks about in terms of how singles are supposed to be investing their lives for kingdom purposes. Because our guest who's joining us this week, Jennifer Lyle, who is back with us. Welcome back, Jennifer.

Thank you. Jennifer is a single woman who has been involved in publishing for years. She's seminary trained. You thought you were going to the mission field, right? And the mission field God called you to was a three-year-old classroom at your church. You take 1 Corinthians 7 seriously where it says if you're single, you have an assignment.

Absolutely. I think I should be spending 80 hours of my life each week focused on some kind of kingdom purpose. That may not always look exactly like ministry. Certainly in the context of my Sunday school class, it does. But I have time in the evenings that I have not been called to invest in a covenant relationship with a person.

So I don't always succeed at this, but ideally, and the goal to which I strive and feel called is that it should be invested in my covenant relationship with God. So you said 80 hours, not 40, 50. Pretty intense. So you're saying, I'm going to do this all day. I'm going to take a break.

I'm going to do it in the evening as well. Right. Yeah. I mean, and that's what I've done. I mean, it's not always healthy, right? And I'm in a season right now where I've dialed back and I'm taking more of a break and focusing on different aspects of my relationship with God in that way and kind of being less externally active in demonstrating it. But I do believe that if you are not called to be living your life in the context of a nuclear family and doing that every day in and out, the reality is that leaves a lot of extra time. It just does. But you're not doing it because you have to or you should. You're doing this out of call and passion. Yeah.

I don't know any other way to do it. I did adulthood starting pretty early before the Lord saved me from 18 to 21. I was in management. I managed movie theaters. I had a staff of 120 when I was 19, 20 years old. And I was working 90 hours a week then to make money and to feel like I was successful and had gotten out of my hometown and the whole thing.

And it was completely pointless. Completely. I mean, yes, I enjoy comfort and I like to do fun things and I like to have a nice home and all of that and certainly struggle with just ambition and things like that. But for me, the only fulfillment is having a broader context of purpose. And as a Christian, I don't know what else that could be but the kingdom of God, the people of God. Part of how you spent those 80 hours a week over the last few years was in taking what you've been teaching to three-year-olds in a Sunday school classroom and giving us a gift by writing a book where you explain, this is how I teach it to three-year-olds. Here's how you can read it to your kids. It's called The Promises of God Storybook Bible. It's the story of the Bible from beginning to end, the gospel story, beautifully illustrated and designed for parents to read to kids or for older kids to read on their own.

And this was a labor of love for you. It was also a response to an extraordinary circumstance I had with one little boy I taught who I started teaching. He was three and a half and his name was Job. He was a kind of quiet kid when he first came in the class but I noticed within the first month and a half that he was really getting the content.

And at the beginning of the year, they're learning how to learn really is what I teach for the first few months. But he was getting it and he was asking questions and he had this look he would kind of always give. And over the course of that year, he asked me questions that led to me figuring out how to teach kids about the Trinity. He was consistently internalizing while at the same time being silly and quoting movie quotes that he'd laughed so hard I couldn't understand and I definitely didn't know what movies they were from because I don't watch three old movies. And about a year and a half, a year after I taught him, he was at church on Sunday and then on Tuesday or Wednesday of that week, I got a text to pray for his family because he was in the hospital getting an MRI done.

And they thought that it might be serious. And the next morning, they found out that he had one of the worst forms of childhood brain cancer. And I watched over the course of the next four and a half months, his parents were very young, late 20s.

And I watched Job be so brave. He went through radiation. We knew by that time, I knew by the time he left my class, although I don't do like an invitation, I leave that to parents and his parents were being very thoughtful about gospel conversations, but we knew that he knew God and he was a follower of God and that he had trusted in Christ. And when I had him in my class, I remember thinking one Sunday, this kid's going to be the preacher of his generation.

He just was totally different than any child I'd ever taught. And four and a half months after he was diagnosed, I stood in line at my church for his memorial service, trying to figure out what in the world do I say to his parents, who honestly, you don't really get to know the parents when you're teaching the children. So I had had conversations with them. And I communicated with them while he was sick. It was a big deal for our church.

We're really close as a church. And I got up to his mom and dad and I will never forget it. They looked at me, they grabbed me and hugged me. And with tears streaming down their face, they just kept saying, thank you. And I was really confused. I didn't understand. And then his mom just pulled me back and she said, thank you for teaching him.

Thank you. He knew. And, you know, one of the scriptures that they had recited with him was a psalm that we memorized in my class over the course of the year. And just knowing that, you know, he went to meet God with things that God allowed me the opportunity to help show him. And then I sat in the back of our church during the service and his dad, as part of the service, went up to the microphone. And he started out and he said, there's a lot I'd like to say, but instead I'm going to have the psalmist speak for me.

He's a big guy. And he started reciting Psalm 103, which is, bless the Lord on my soul. And, you know, there's all these refrains of it. And I know that psalm in verse 13 is, as a father has compassion for his children. And I thought, is he going to be able to do that? And he got around that verse and he started breaking up and he would start pounding his chest to get through every verse. And it struck me, it's hard in a moment like that to think anything about yourself, right, because you're so just caught up in the grief and the confusion and everything. But I thought, I was one of a handful of teachers that this person ever had to teach him about God.

And God allowed it to be enough. And then I was sitting next to a friend who I teach in the 11 o'clock hour, the three-year-old, and she teaches at 930. I looked at her and I said, how are we going to stand in front of that rug next week? Well, I had his little sister then. And so, as a church, we decided that I would tell the kids because we wanted his little sister to be able to talk openly about what she was going through that year. And once you sit on a rug with three-year-olds and talk to them about their friend's big brother, who they know because he's a year and a half older, that he's died, that he's with God, and how he's with God, and why he's with God, and what that means for us, you do not trivialize teaching three-year-olds again.

And to this day, I never stand there without thinking of Job. I actually, that week, my grief was weird. And it felt weird because I'm like, I've got this relationship with this kid, but I don't really know his parents, and this isn't about me.

But it was so intense. And because I teach on the thread of the promises of God, and that really starts in a lot of ways with God's promise to Abraham to establish a people, and calling Abraham onto the mountain with the stars. So I had this image that just was going crazy in my head of, I wanted to hang stars from the ceiling in my classroom. And I wanted every star to be representative of a child that I had taught, or of a family. And part of it was really, I just wanted to give Job a star. And there were fire codes and stuff, and my church was so great.

They're so patient with my kind of fervency, but I spent a day that week hanging them. And then when they brought, Job's little sister, her dad, brought her the next week to drop her off in Sunday school. And it was a very traumatic time for her. The first thing I did was I had hung a star for her next to Job's, and I walked her to the star. And it's what I teach under. And I said, that's Job's star. And I explained to her, and then I said, that's your star. And when you sit here and we're learning about God's promises and you get sad, you can look up and you can know that Job's with God. It really came out of the love for the kids and seeing them, at first it was about seeing them being able to learn. But then after Job, and after that moment at the funeral, I thought, I can't assume. I had taught for years thinking I was teaching them so that they wouldn't go crazy in the youth group.

And I just thought, this might be all they get. So I've got to squeeze it out, you know? And so that's what I try to do.

And I have, I mean, let me be clear, I have off weeks and off months and it can be really challenging. And I doubt myself, and especially with this coming out, I'm not an expert. But I do believe that God has created all people in His image. And it doesn't matter what their family is, it doesn't matter. You know, I've had kids, I always, pretty much every year, I have kids who are on the autism spectrum.

I've had nonverbal Down syndrome children. And that teaching expression and the learning expression might be different. But I just don't think that a person created in the image of God who's had the opportunity to be discipled and know God's Word can stand in front of other people who are created in the image of God regardless of their age and their size and their background and honestly and earnestly talk to them about God and love them well and fruit not come from that.

Because I know what a mess I've been while I've done it. I will add this as a pastor of a church in thinking, and I'll be honest, I'm sort of that pastor, and I'm guessing and I'm sort of hoping most don't think like I do. It sort of looks at the children's ministry like I did with being an athlete and working with pro athletes and then coaching high school. With our own kids, I would always say, sports doesn't matter with your kids until they're in high school. I mean, all these parents are into soccer at five years old and T-ball.

And we did all that, but I'm just rolling my eyes like this means nothing. Once they hit high school, now it's real, right? I've thought the same thing spiritually.

And I did too, honestly, before. I mean, I can't imagine, because I'll walk into the pulpit on Sunday morning and think what I'm doing is the most important thing because adults are being taught the Word of God. The kids over there, that's good, but they're not really going to remember it because they're too young. And you just reminded me, man, I'm hoping that there are single people in our church and every church that have your heart. Thank you. Oh, thank you.

I hope so. And the way I view it is I don't have one family that I'm serving and I'm a part of, but I've had the opportunity to have hundreds. And you know, they're at different levels. And one of the funny things about this age and even with Job, who I was talking about, it's like two months after they leave my class, they do not recognize me. Really?

It's so crazy. And so when Job passed away, I was really struggled with like, okay, wait, did he really remember the things? And I said something one time about that and his mom immediately, she said, Jennifer, he maybe wouldn't have remembered you, but he remembered what you talked. We talked about it.

He remembered it. And that is a gift to me. That's a gift. So it's clear you love these kids.

I do. Have you wrestled with the fact that you're an unmarried single woman who's not had kids of your own? Yeah, I would say it's interesting because when I was younger and at the stage of life where that probably would have been more likely, I never expected it because of just the circumstances in which I grew up. It wasn't something that I thought could be for me in ways that were disordered and just I needed to work through. Now, there is some element where, yeah, I think, wow, as much as I love kids, as much as I see their hearts, I'm just curious about them.

I like getting to know them. I'd rather talk to a child than just about any adult, to be completely honest. So yeah, I do think that that's something where if I could have a direct conversation with God, I may be like, okay, help me understand this. Help me understand where there's not the redemptive narrative of I get to work through marriage and coming from not having had that in a great way when I was growing up. But honestly, I don't get hung up on it really at all because I still get to have kids as a part of my life. I still get to have families as a part of my life. One of the things that's the most crazy to me about this book is I never, ever had a family devotional time, of course, at all growing up. So the fact that now I've written something that can be part of family devotional times, I'm just like, that's crazy. That's a huge blessing.

So I really do try to just discipline myself, and again, I struggle, but that's not a huge, it's just not a huge struggle for me. I think that's a gift from God, too, that it's not a huge thing. And I understand that there are a lot, I have friends and women that it is much harder. That's a deep desire of their heart. I'm thinking there are some of the single women you're talking to or single men you're talking to who you're saying, you know, you can serve in the church. And they're going, if I'm back there every Sunday with these kids, every Sunday it's like, why can't I have kids of my own?

Why can't I be married? So that the level of grief every week would be really hard for them. You've found joy instead of grief in that. Yeah, it's, I mean, honestly, I do think that the gift of being able to see objectively children in a way that I couldn't see them if I was their parent, right? But to see their personhood developing, which is really what's starting to happen at that age in a distinct way. I get to see that with so many more kids than I would if I had just children of my own. And the diversity of the children together is one of the most interesting things because you've got different families coming together.

It's just an incredibly rich experience with children. And children are not lesser to God. The theological bar for children has not been lowered. You know, when Christ says in Scripture that we are to come to him as little children, that's, yes, that has an aspect in which it calls us to humility, in which it calls us to get out of our kind of, you know, maybe theological bubbles or obsessions. But that is not God lowering his truth.

That is a reflection of the fact that his truth is accessible and his truth can find its way. You've probably worked with hundreds and hundreds of kids over the years. I want you to picture all those parents of all those kids sitting in front of you. How would you encourage those parents to teach their kids biblical truths when they're so intimidated of not even knowing where to start?

What would you say to them? I would say, first of all, is be completely comfortable with the words, I don't know. Or, you know, God hasn't helped me to understand that all the way yet. I'm trying to understand it.

Here's what I know so far. Honesty and communicating in light of the fact that you're raising an image bearer who God desires to worship in spirit and truth. And I recognize that's hard when you're also trying to teach them how to not throw tantrums or toys and how to get along with siblings and, you know, have table manners and all of that, right?

So I get to have this like little petri dish thing. But just having that perspective of that you're raising an adult who you desire, out of your love for God, to also love and worship God. Some of the most incredible families I've been around, that's what I've observed from them. Really, a lot of what I teach, the approach, I really learned and absorbed from watching some of my friends who are incredible parents and the way that they engage their children. I would say also, your kids' behavior, they're going to act out, right? Like kids are going to act out and I'm not saying don't address it, but just like let yourself have a deep breath because I see so many parents who when they pick their kids up from my class, they are so worried about how he or she behaved that day because they had a hard time that morning. That's just never my concern.

You know, I mean, yeah, some weeks I'm like, oh my word, did you all have donuts? But it's not the point. It's just not. And so I just think giving parents the permission to not feel as much pressure on that and to get to know their kids, to see the value in that, to know that other adults aren't going to judge them for that. I really don't know people who judge parents the way that parents think they are being judged. The way they judge themselves.

Exactly, exactly. And so that is, truly it would be take a deep breath and be willing to own what you don't know. Also talking about your sin, you know, obviously in age-appropriate ways, but helping them to understand that you're not the standard to which you're hoping they grow, but that the reflection of Christ is who we're all trying to be conformed into His image.

And again, I'm not a parent and so I know that's super easy for me to say because I'm not dealing with all of the dynamics and frankly, I get them like right when they're kind of sort of potty trained and I get that alone as a thing because I cleaned up those messes. So, you know, don't use any of this. I would encourage people to not feel like, okay, wait, I'm not doing that.

I'm not doing it enough. But look for the resources you have and just love them well. Well-ordered love, rightly ordered love demonstrated and expressed to a child, to me, is not only one of the most healthy, redemptive, protective things you can do for your children, but it is also one of the most biblical things you can do for your children. And if you're looking for a resource, your book, The Promises of God Storybook Bible is one of those resources you should pick it up because it's beautifully done. The illustrations are beautiful and God's Word is not boring.

That's the thing. Your kids are going to love this and you're going to love it, too. And I think, too, to not have the attitude of everybody be quiet, we're going to read God's Word now. That's a bad approach that they'll think God's Word is very boring and terrible. But to say, you guys, tonight we're going to listen and we're going to talk about God's Word because He has something to say to all of us. To make it, to have them anticipate tonight we're going to talk about God's Word again. And this is amazing truth that will change our lives forever.

Our attitude can really shape the way our kids view God's Word. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Thanks for the time here. Thanks for the book. Thanks for helping us as parents and grandparents with this tool. We're grateful. Thank you, guys, so much.

I love family life and I love you guys, so thanks a lot. Well, I have no doubt that we've got lots of people who've been listening to this conversation who are thinking, I've got to get that book. And we would be happy to send you a copy. Go to familylifetoday.com to get a copy of The Promises of God Storybook Bible, The Story of God's Unstoppable Love by Jennifer Lyle. It's beautifully illustrated. It's a beautiful book. Your kids will love it. You will love reading it to them. Order online at familylifetoday.com or call to order 1-800-FL-TODAY. Let me just say, if you know somebody who's got young kids, give them a copy of this book as a gift. Somebody in your church or somebody you know who would benefit from this, just order a copy and give it to them as a gift and say, I thought you might find this a helpful tool, something you can read to your kids at night before you put them to bed. Again, the book is called The Promises of God Storybook Bible. You can order it on our website at familylifetoday.com or you can call to order 800-FL-TODAY is the number, 800-358-6329.

That's 800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. Now, this is the last opportunity we have to remind you of something that's pretty important happening here at Family Life this month. We had some friends of the ministry who came to us wanting to help us during what is maybe the most challenging time in the history of our ministry. They have agreed to match every donation we received during the month of May on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of $345,000.

That means that we have just a couple more days to take advantage of this matching gift. And David Robbins, who's the president of Family Life, is here with us. We're hoping our listeners will rally and make sure we can take advantage of the generosity that's been afforded to us here. Well, there is a critical moment of generosity that we want to invite you into, but I just want to take a minute to remind us why. Why we're asking you to give, because we believe that God is at work among families in our nation in an extraordinary way. The gospel is being spread and the home is being restored to its rightful place in society. And here's how we know the need is real. We have seen a 500 percent increase in engagement from Family Life listeners and to our website through this pandemic.

People are searching for answers and they're looking for the timeless truth of scriptures when so many things have been thrown up into the air. I heard from a listener recently who said, This season has made us recognize some dysfunction that we have in our family and we realize how much we need the help Family Life offers. There's a lot of talk about rebuilding the economy, and certainly those need to be serious conversations.

But we need to also be talking seriously about what it looks like to rebuild marriages and families among our nation in our day. This is why we ask you to join and give whatever you can to this May match. We are in a critical spot and we want to ask that if you can give whatever you can give, help us meet this match so that it sets the course for the rest of this year for us to continue to provide the help and hope you have trusted us for. Your gifts really do make an eternal difference. And when you donate today, not only will your donation be matched dollar for dollar, up to the total of $345,000, that is the matching gift. And again, we've got till the end of the weekend to take advantage of this. We're going to send you a gift, a thank you gift, and that's Barbara Rainey's new book, which is called My Heart Ever His.

It's a book that will help you pray more effectively during challenging times. And if you're able to join us as a monthly legacy partner, somebody who gives a gift each month, your donation is going to be matched dollar for dollar for the next 12 months. And in addition, we're going to send you a gift certificate so you can attend an upcoming Weekend to Remember marriage getaway as our guests. The getaways are coming back in the fall and in the spring, so you can plan to get away as a couple and spend time refocusing on your marriage for a weekend. Or you can pass that on to somebody you know who would benefit from that weekend away. Again, it's our way of saying thank you for joining us and for helping us take advantage of this matching gift.

Donate online at familylifetoday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. We're so grateful for your partnership, and we do look forward to hearing from you. And with that, we've got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for joining us. Hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together with your local church this weekend. And I hope you can join us back on Monday. We're going to talk about how we can tailor our parenting to our specific children, how we play to their strengths as we raise them. Brandon and Annalyn Miller will be here. Hope you can be here as well. I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Bob Lapine. We will see you Monday for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a production of Family Life of Little Rock, Arkansas. A crew ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.