Let’s Pray!

After you've done your morning routine, you've gotten the kids ready for school, you've had breakfast, whatever goes on at your house, Holly Melton says there's an additional activity you need to incorporate. You need to be praying together with your kids to start the day. What I try to encourage people is this is five minutes of your day. But it could be the most crucial five minutes of the day because when we start our day with God, our perspective on everything that we're going to experience that day could change. And so I encourage parents, wake up five or 10 minutes earlier, even if you're not a morning person, and pray that you're filled with the Spirit as you try to do this with your children.

And He will give you the strength to have the patience to be able to do this. This is Family Life Today. Our hosts are Dave and Anne Wilson. I'm Bob Lapine. You can find us online at familylifetoday.com. Back to school probably looks a lot different for all of us this year, but there are some things that ought not be different.

We're going to talk about those today. Stay with us. And welcome to Family Life Today.

Thanks for joining us. I think just about every mom I've ever known who's got kids at home has in her a desire to want to plant deep in the heart of her kids spiritual truth. It's just, how do I do that? That is the obstacle. You had that passion.

Oh, boy, she had that passion. But I didn't grow up in a Christian home. I had never seen it done. But in my heart, I'm like, I want to do this. I want to do this.

How do I do this? I had no idea. I think you're right, Bob.

I think women, when you love Jesus, you want to impart that into your kids. But you're not always sure how it's crazy. You don't have a plan. And so I think we're looking for that plan. And this is one of those times of the year when I think beginning of the new year and the beginning of the school year are the two times in the year where we all look and go, okay, we can start some new patterns, some new habits, some new disciplines. And of course, this is kind of the weirdest back to school time ever.

But you can establish some new rhythms, some new patterns. And that's part of what we want to talk about today. We need somebody to help us. And do you have somebody in mind?

I think somebody. She's sitting across the table. Holly Melton is here, written a book called Praying With Your Kids Before School. Holly, welcome. Thank you.

Thanks for having me. And she's been on crew staff, I don't even know how many years. Twenty-one years.

Twenty-one? And what have you done on crew staff? Oh, I have gotten to travel the world to help missionaries that are in team conflict around the world. I've been to actually 30 countries. Got to serve in East Asia, saw a revival happen there.

Served up at UC Berkeley. I've been a national director with crew. But now I'm happily on a staff team quietly in Phoenix, Arizona, while I'm raising my kids and continuing to write and speak on the side. And your kids are what ages?

Five and six. So, you're right at the beginning edge of this journey, but God's put a burden in your heart to want to really plant truth in their hearts and to point them to Jesus every day. Yes. It's always been my passion. My background has marriage and family therapy, but then I went into college ministry after I saw a vampire came to Christ, which is a whole other story. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't just drop that one in.

That's for them to go see Michelle. They're real vampires and you led someone to Christ? Let's hear the story.

Okay. Well, I was just a college student and I was on my first summer mission. We were out just singing songs on the boardwalk and this girl approached me very awkwardly and uncomfortably. And she said, I'm a vampire.

Are you afraid of me? And I thought, who thinks that they're a vampire? Like, really? And this is way before Twilight and Vampire Diaries.

So I'm like, this is really weird. So I said, sure, I'll talk with a vampire. Why did she pick you?

I don't know. Was she goth looking? She was very goth.

You're exactly right. Black lipstick. Did she have any teeth in to look like she had teeth?

She did not have teeth, but definitely dyed black hair, black lipstick, black outfit. And sit down with her. She says nothing.

I mean, it's completely awkward. So this is when I start to pray and I'm like, God, you got to show me because, you know, my training is you share your testimony or the knowing God personally track booklet that crew has, you know, does that work with a vampire? So I felt like the Holy Spirit was saying, why don't you ask her why she's a vampire?

And I think all of us can get to know somebody and ask questions to learn who they are, no matter what their background is. And she says, well, I have tried to kill myself three times and I haven't been able to die. She goes, I actually drink blood of animals I sacrifice and I believe that's what makes me clean. And I just thought, oh, Lord, this is getting crazier and crazier.

I have no clue how I'm going to be able to reach her. That's not like quite in the training manual. It was not.

No one treated me for this. So then I was like, God, what's another question? And the question that came to my mind is what brings you purpose or significance in life? And she said, I've actually brought 12 women into being vampires with me that had no home, no community, no friends. And so we have a family. And I thought, OK, that is one little thing I can connect with is caring for women in community. Because even in college, I was doing a women's Bible study, discipling some women.

So you're looking for a common bond. I'm trying. Like, what is something we can relate to? And again, I'm like, God, I do not know how I would share the gospel with this vampire. So I felt like the Holy Spirit gave me a contrary idea than how I was raised, because I was raised in the apologetics generation where you defend the truth. And I felt like the Holy Spirit's idea was affirm partial truths to create common ground, which felt a little sacrilegious, but I was going to try it.

So I said to her, I said, Christi, you know, in a sense, I think you're right. We are immortal. There is life after death and blood is necessary. Sacrifice is essential.

And we were made for community. You are right. But I don't think you know the whole story. Do I have permission to share with you the whole story? And she said yes. And then I'm like, OK, God, what do I say next? Just that part was pretty genius. I mean, that was totally the Holy Spirit.

I didn't think that up. And so I'm like, now what do I say? I felt like I was watching myself as God was just speaking through me. And so all of a sudden I'm sharing about how Jesus is the Lamb of God. And he is the final sacrifice that will take away the sins of the world, that no more animals need to be sacrificed.

And I got to share how he wants communion with us and community with us. And so I go through the whole gospel and I am so convinced she's going to say yes. And she goes, no, I don't need Jesus in my life right now. So she then says, it is now two in the morning.

And she goes, but the buses have stopped working. Can you give me a ride home? And I'm thinking, who wants to give a vampire a ride home at two in the morning?

Not me. It's dark out. So I figured I should bring a friend. So he was driving. I'm in the front seat. She's in the back.

We are driving on a deserted highway. And all of a sudden in the back, she just starts knocking on the window like this constant eerie knock. And I'm just like, what is going on? And this is what I've learned from this. You always push through awkwardness. God will use us when we push through awkward situations. And again, I asked a question and I said, Christy, why are you knocking on the window? And she said, I feel like something is knocking at my heart, but I don't know what it is.

No way. That's Revelation 3 20. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. Jesus is saying, if anyone opens the door, I will come in. I will dine with him.

I will be his friend. I will have fellowship. And I said, Christy, I believe that's Jesus.

He wants in your life. And then she says, I'm hungry and thirsty for something, but I don't know what. Now, in college, didn't remember those verses, but I knew a worship song because I was an alto on the worship team. And so I told her the verse. I go, I want to thirst no more. I want to hunger no more.

I want to know that Jesus is my Lord. She goes, will you sing it for me? I'm like at two thirty in the morning. You want me to sing you? Okay.

So I'm awkwardly now singing a song to her in the car. Oh, wait, let's hear it. No, that's okay. Come on. No. We got a guitar.

Yeah, thank you. So I sing the song and she goes, pull over on the side of the road right now in case I die before I get home. I want Jesus in my life. And I thought, the road's deserted. You didn't think you could die two hours ago.

You thought you were immortal. And so I get in the backseat. I pull out a track because I'm like, I don't know what I really said to you a few hours ago. And she goes, no, no, get to the end.

I want Jesus in my life right now. Get to the end. So she like prays. And I'm like, honestly, in my heart, I was doubtful because I just thought, okay, she just seemed like, is she a little off? You know, is she on drugs?

I don't know. So I said, Christy, if this is real, meet me at noon tomorrow and we're going to talk about what this means. And I thought, okay, because vampires are not going to show up in the middle of the day.

Right? So we will know. So next day at noon, she showed up and she's like walking toward me and she's like, far enough away, you probably shouldn't say hi yet. And she starts screaming, Holly, Holly, I want to learn how to share my faith like you shared with me. And I'm like, wow, Christians don't even want to learn how to share their faith.

Maybe she's a real one, you know? So I said, well, let's go on the boardwalk and let's go see what God does. Let's go do this with God.

And we approach a 15-year-old blonde surfer dude named Mark. And he asked a great question. He said, how do you know you're different when you become a Christian? And I'm like, oh, man, my testimony, I was saved as a little kid, how do I answer that? She interrupts and she goes, well, Mark, yesterday I was a vampire, but today I'm a born-again Christian and boy, do I see the difference. And she goes, Mark, did you know that we're immortal? Did you know that blood is necessary, sacrifice is essential, and we were made for community?

Can I tell you how? And she proceeded to share with him the same presentation I shared the night before that I thought was only contextualized for a vampire. And he prays and receives Christ right there on the boardwalk, same area she did. And she was not even a 12-hour believer.

And that convicts me. No one should say they're not mature enough in Christ to be able to share Christ with someone else. And it shows me that none of us may be prepared to share the gospel. I was not prepared to share the gospel.

And yet, that is what transformed my life to be passionate about sharing Jesus. And didn't you find out something about her dad later? Yes, her dad ended up, he was a Christian.

I was at the airport flying back home and I met a kind woman. She was asking about my summer. I told her the story of what I call Christie the vampire. She brings her husband over and he says, what's her name?

And I said, Christie Denny. And he says, her father goes to our church. We have been praying for her for five years.

And we have not been able to get her into a church. And now that we know she's a believer, we're going to disciple her and follow her up. And what's amazing is this pastor and his wife took her in because she ended up sharing the gospel with those 12 women to the point where the head leader said, if you do this anymore, I will take your life.

And he was threatening her life. So she literally moved in with the pastor and his wife that I met at the airport for her protection and for her discipleship. And I just said, God, I have never seen someone go from darkness to light to full transformation. I want to do nothing else with my life but share Jesus with others. I can see why you'd say law school would be pretty boring after that. And I can also see, as you talk about her dad and the pastor praying, and they're seeing their prayers answered.

I mean, it's five years. At some point, you even give up, you know, but there's a dad, there's a pastor, there's probably a community, which sounds weird. They're praying for a vampire daughter. And you, I mean, I asked earlier, why did she walk up to you?

Now we know. It was providential. She walked up to you. You listened to Jesus. The Holy Spirit spoke into her. And so there's obviously, now as a mom, an angst in your soul about praying, right? Especially praying for your kids. So tell us why you wrote a book about it.

Yes. Well, I think there's two verses in the Bible that really have hit my heart on this. And one is Proverbs 22 six, and it says, train up a child in the way he should go.

Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. I think about what you just said about Christie's father and how she did have some kind of spiritual training. And yet this verse is not meant to necessarily be a full on promise that as much as we are faithful to invest in our children spiritually, some might become prodigals. And we need to trust God with those prodigals. But we need to think about our responsibility as parents.

Our responsibility is to train. We cannot control the outcome of our children's faith, but we can control our intentionality with them. And if there's one thing I'm very passionate about, it's about God wants us to be intentional people in all areas of our life. The second verse in the Bible that really impacted me is Deuteronomy six, five and seven. And it says this, it says, you shall love the Lord God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your might. And these words I command to you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk to them when you sit in your house and when you walk, by the way, when you lie down and when you rise.

And so I started praying, how do I live this out practically? I wanted to really meditate on this verse and be proactive. And the first thing that really stuck out to me in this verse is we are responsible to love God with all our heart. If we're not walking with the Lord, if we're not being in his word and being obedient to him, we cannot impact, train and disciple and influence our children. Second, it says to teach them diligently. And I believe that means we need to help them understand the word even when they're very young. My personal opinion, and yes, I only have two young kids, is when they can start to walk, which is about one, one and a half, when they can start to walk, we can start to talk to them about God. We can already have conversations before they can speak back about God, sin, Jesus, our need for a Savior. They're not going to fully grasp it, but we begin the conversation. And then we need to talk when we're at home.

I think home needs to be a safe place, right, for our children. We live in a fast-paced culture, and we're rushing from one thing to the next. And honestly, we become more task-oriented than people-oriented. What did that look like for you in terms of here you are, a young mom, you have little kids, and they're only a year apart?

Yes. And it's crazy. Moms listening are like, I have hardly time to eat, let alone disciple my kids. And so even for your own personal time, that can be hard. How do you get that in? That's in the bathroom. That's when you have your personal time. You lock the door and say, I need a moment.

What did that look like? Because before you had kids, you had time to read your Bible, and then you have kids, and it gets a lot tougher. Yeah. Well, you know, when they're first born, yes, you don't get your normal quiet time if you're used to that. So I would take a proverb a day, literally one verse, and say, I'm going to meditate on this while I'm in my tired state for the first three months of a child's life.

But I do think there has to be at some point where we continue a spiritual discipline, even with young children. And so once they got on a sleep schedule, I really started to make it the norm that they weren't going to be coming downstairs until 7 a.m. We got one of those lights that light up at 7 o'clock. They know they can come downstairs. I kind of conditioned them to do that.

And so even at five and six, they pretty much will stay in their room. And at a young age, I decided to start giving them resources to have a quiet time like Mommy. So they can't read yet. And I got them a Bible. It's called My Own Keepsake Bible. It's a kids' Bible storybook to color. And it's not a coloring book. It's an actual Bible, but so many of the pages they can color. And so their quiet time is coloring, and then I read them the story after they color the picture. So they started to have their own quiet time. Or once my son started to learn how to read, they could read the word God.

So he started to highlight the word God all throughout the Bible because Mommy highlights in her Bible. So I'm just starting to give them principles as little kids to help them even think about what would it look like to have a quiet time like Mommy and Daddy. I'm just amazed they don't come down until 7 a.m. Are you still stuck on that? I'm like, wow, that's a disciplined job. People are going, if I could just train my kids on that, that's all I need. Yes, I am more of a structured parent, so that does help. One of the things that you're passionate about is praying with your kids, getting them in this practice.

And what you've developed in the book is an outline, a map that moms and dads can follow so that this can become a regular practice in their home. Yes, it was literally the week before school started this past year that God gave me this idea. Let's be intentional to pray with them because now both my kids were going to go preschool and kindergarten. So I invited 18 of my friends to join me. I said, do you want to join me this year and pray through a verse every day with your child before they go to school?

So I kind of had my tribe to figure this out with me. And then I started to ask God, what are topics that children need to think about as they go to school? Topics like authority, respect, friends, anxiety, fear, being courageous on that first week. And I looked up all the verses on that word, and I chose five that I thought most would relate to the child as they go to school. And then I have two verses. One is the actual verse in the Bible for an older child, and then they get to pray through that verse. And then I paraphrase the verse in the Bible for a younger child like mine that might not know some bigger words so that they too could start to understand principles in the Bible, but maybe not the exact verse. And so my friends and I did this for a whole year, and it became very, very impactful, not my children's life, but their children's lives as well.

And we decided maybe this would be helpful for other families to start implementing. So what did this look like? Take us through, is this at the breakfast table in the morning, on the way to school? When are you doing it? How are you doing it?

Just give us a picture. What I try to encourage people is this is five minutes of your day. But it could be the most crucial five minutes of the day because when we start our day with God, our perspective on everything that we're going to experience that day could change. And so I encourage parents, wake up five or 10 minutes earlier, even if you're not a morning person, and pray that you're filled with the Spirit as you try to do this with your children.

And He will give you the strength to have the patience to be able to do this. And then some of my friends would do this at the breakfast table before they started homeschooling. Some of my friends would literally do it standing up at the front door, and they would then lay their hands on their kids and commission them off to school as if they are being sent ones to school every single day. And then I myself would drive my children to school, about 10 minutes to school, and so we would read it and pray as we were heading to school in the car. So I think any idea would work.

It's just the idea of being intentional and being consistent. With your kids, you'd get them buckled in, and before you start the car, I presume you're not reading the Bible verses as you're driving. You'd read these Bible verses, and then would you pray and they'd pray? Is that how, what would it feel like? Yes, we would all three pray, and you know, honestly, with little kids of any age, they might start to feel like, oh, I don't want to pray today, right?

It's not like, oh, they're robots and they're going to just do it. And so there were some days that became the discipleship moment of saying, well, let's talk about that. Why do you think we want to pray to God before we go to school?

How do you think that would help us? And that's your choice. I'm not, as the parent, going to force you to pray, but I know my life changes when I get to pray to God before I start my day. Or I would ask the other child to pray first, and then the second child would be like, okay, I want to pray. And so sometimes it's even just getting into the rhythm. Our rhythm became so much so that a few weeks in, I forgot the paper at home. And my son said, Mommy, how could you forget the Bible verse for the day? And so the next day, Mommy, don't forget the Bible verse. Next day, Mommy, don't forget the Bible verse. And then what started to happen is in our evening prayers with our family, my son would start to pray, God, help me to obey the Bible verse tomorrow. He knew a Bible verse was coming, and his heart was starting to change. Help me to obey the Bible verse tomorrow. What I liked about it, too, is since it was a theme for the week, it gave us context to talk about a bigger topic in the Bible over the week, not just a verse for the day, and then tomorrow's verse is a different topic.

So we got to focus on something which really helped them grow in that area. So the theme would be, let's say it's courage. The theme of the week is courage. So each morning you have a different verse on courage.

Yes. That's interesting. And how they could pray through it. Especially, you think, it is the first week because they're meeting new teachers, new friends, new school maybe.

This year it's going to be new situations. So, yeah, it's helping them be courageous. Now, how did the mothers or families that had teenagers, how did that go for them? Do you hear stories?

I did. I will leave them nameless, but I had a sixth grader come swim in our pool just two weeks ago, and his mom said, this is the one that wrote all those prayers for that devotional. And he goes, wow. He goes, those were really good. He goes, they were better than my dad's. And his dad is our children's pastor.

I was like, well, don't tell your dad that, but thank you. And that gave me courage because it's a different age group than my little children. And it seemed that he as a boy, sixth grader, really enjoyed it. And then I know of another woman that her daughter, who's 11, looked forward to every day. She had bullying happening in her school.

She had to deal with a lot of really hard situations. And her mom said that going through these prayers helped give her a foundation before she went into some very difficult situations for the year. I can imagine, you asked about teenagers, you know, I can imagine with younger kids, there is some excitement and anticipation. And in those years, they are kind of hanging on every word we say. You start doing this with a 14-year-old, you know, you haven't done this and say, we're going to start praying on the way to school in a Bible verse. And they're kind of like, whatever, and roll in their eyes. Should a parent just power through that and keep going?

Yes, I think so. I think it's never too late to encourage spiritual disciplines with our children and to model them ourselves. And so what I would do, if you have like a middle schooler or a high schooler saying, make it an exciting thing. Like, hey, I want to grow in God together. I want us to be united in doing something that will help us both understand the Bible and live it out. Can we please try this? Let's try it for a month and let's see if this impacts our life. So you don't have to commit them or force them to do it for a year. But say, can we try this together and see if this not only bonds us, but helps us to become greater influences around us. So you're kind of in it together. I'm imagining Ann Wilson hearing this conversation back a few years ago when you still had kids at home. And you'd be going, I'm getting five copies of that book.

I totally would. Because I was doing it on the fly. But what I've seen too with high school and middle school kids, they're still soaking it in. They may roll their eyes sometimes or generally quiet. But what I found was kids in high school are going through hard things.

Middle school is rough. And it's interesting because they're so desperate that they'll take God's word and they're kind of clinging to it. So one of our sons was going through some stuff and I would take these little flat rocks that I found and I would write a Bible verse on it.

And he would have it in his pocket all day. And I'd say, hey, when it gets rough, pull that verse out. Lord, help me. This is what's going on. Pray this verse.

This maybe will help you. So then it would come the next week or something else was going on. And he's like, hey, do you have another rock? I'm like, what? So then he said, my friend in track needs one.

He's really stressing about the meat tonight. And so I'd write this little verse on this rock. I saw that guy probably a couple years ago when he was 27 and he said, Mrs. Wilson, I want to tell you, that scripture you put on that rock was like my lifeline for the year.

And so we think kids aren't interested at that age. Those kids are going through rough stuff and God's word is a comfort and a stabilizer to their souls. And to have a plan prepared for you.

That's the part that's so good it's done for us already. All you have to do is just kind of follow the instructions. It's like a spiritual cookbook with your kids.

Here's the recipe. And again, to your point, there's no guarantee that the cake's going to turn out the way you want it to turn out. There is not a promise from Proverbs, but there is a principle here in Proverbs that when we train up a child in the way he should go, that's our job.

And God is going to meet us there. And thanks for the intentionality because it's a tool that helps parents that maybe aren't necessarily intentional to be intentional. Here you go. Follow the plan.

How hard is that and see what God does. And the moms and dads who are just like Ann Wilson and want five copies of the book, go to our website, familylifetoday.com to order copies. In fact, what we're doing this week, we're going to send you a copy. Any Family Life Today listener who can make a donation to help support the ongoing work of this ministry, Holly's book, Praying with Your Kids Before School, is our gift to you, our way of saying thank you for your support of this ministry.

So here's the deal. You're helping reach hundreds of thousands of people every day with practical biblical help and hope for their marriage and family by supporting Family Life Today. And as a thank you gift, you get Holly's book, Praying with Your Kids Before School. Go to familylifetoday.com to make an online donation or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Donate over the phone. Again, the website is familylifetoday.com. If you'd like to donate online or to donate by phone, call 1-800-358-6329.

That's 1-800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. Now, tomorrow we're going to continue talking about ways we can engage with our kids and get them focused, looking in the right direction, thinking about the right thing before we send them off to school, wherever we're sending them this year, whatever that looks like for you. Holly Melton joins us again tomorrow. Hope you can join us as well. I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Bob Lapine. We'll see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a production of Family Life of Little Rock, Arkansas, a crew ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.