This episode is supported in part by the Christian Standard Bible, a translation designed to be faithful to the original text and clear for everyday readers. We're grateful for their partnership and helping bring gospel-centered content to families like yours. To learn more about the CSB, visit csbible.com. Maybe when JL, my daughter, was a little bit younger, but when we had more time to take walks together. But if you're in a place where you can take a walk, I love doing this with little kids.
You see that tree over there? You see that bird? And depending on the age, it might just be, who do you think made that? Who made that? When you see an item, like whether it's maybe you see a bird or you see whatever, you know, the story in the Bible that's like that.
And it kind of always goes back to storytelling. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Dave Wilson. And I'm Ann Wilson. And you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.
This is Family Life Today. We're going to talk about ways Christian parents can help their children find Jesus and grow. This is a big thing because as a parent, we're like, how do I do this? I want to do this. I feel like I'm failing.
I feel like culture is pressing in on our family. How can we bring Jesus into our home in a way that our kids are like, what are we doing? Yeah, practical, maybe even surprising, maybe a creative. We've got a creative. Yeah.
Kina Aragon is back with us. Spoken word artist, author, speaker, mom, wife. Welcome back. Wow. Thank you again for having me back.
Kina, you have a daughter and I'm sure you have a lot of friends that you've been talking to and you're discussing. This is how we're bringing Jesus into our home and our family to our kids.
So you can kick us off. The first one I got from my older sister because she had kids before me. And that is normalize apologizing to your kids. Normalize saying, listen, even if they don't understand, they're one, two years old. You get on their level, you get on your knee, you get eye to eye and you say, hey, when mommy raised her voice just now and mommy got impatient, that's on me.
That was mommy's heart issue. And I should have been more patient. And I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me? Because if it's always them seeing us as the superhero, then they're going to miss the fact that Jesus is a superhero in the story of our family.
And so normalize, hey, mommy doesn't have it all together either. And I need your forgiveness too. Don't go to yours yet. I was just going to say that was part of mine. That was one of the things that I had written down.
You're saying Kina stole yours? I read her face. I said that. Yeah. But I think I put down letting them see me repent.
Yeah. To them, but also to Jesus. Like let them hear my prayer. I think that creates an openness in the house of saying, we're not perfect and we're going to mess up and we can talk about it. And isn't it good news that Jesus forgives us?
Yeah. And he gives us do-overs. Yep. You know, I love that because, you know, when you think of practical ways to bring Jesus into your kids in your home, you think Bible, church, Christian school. And you guys both went totally different ways.
I guess I'm sitting with two creators. That's because, no, this is because I had to apologize constantly. I'd get mad and angry. I'm so sorry. Mommy shouldn't have blown up like that.
You know? Yeah. But there's a good thing in that, of that repentant heart. But sometimes the enemy would take that to the point of saying, what kind of mom are you? You know, because Jesus is saying, I already forgave that.
But the enemy likes to keep bringing it back up. Have you found that? Oh, yeah. He calls you names. You're going to mess your kids up so bad.
They'll never walk with Jesus. You're just going to repeat that cycle. Yes. Yeah. Generational sin.
You're not changed. That's like one of my biggest fears, you know? And then I feel like Satan does capitalize on that moment and say, see, see, that was just like when you were a kid. Yeah. You saw the fear in her eyes.
You just did that to her. She's going to be scarred for life. And so how have you dealt with that? When you get to that point, what do you do? I'll pray, but I'll also talk to my husband.
And he's a great place to kind of softly land and to be like, I feel like I'm the worst mom in the world. And, oh, no, I'm just turning into this monster. I'll say the dark things. Right. And he'll he'll be like, I'm not afraid of you.
Like because I'll be so self-loathing, you know, in that mode of like, if you hear what's really going on in this dark mind, you're going to be like out of here, you know, and he'll go, I'm not afraid of you. And he doesn't mean that in a mean way. He means that in a, I welcome that because I'm here to remind you who you actually are in Christ, that you are not these things and that your repentance is showing the gospel. It is ministering. Not that we want to be hurting our kids, but when it inevitably happens.
Well, what is the best thing we husbands can do when our wives are expressing the two things you two are talking about? I think your husband just models. Is that it? Yeah, he models it a lot. But we've also learned because and I'm not trying to stereotype all men or anything like that, but he wants to fix it a lot of times.
And so we've had to learn for him to say, do you want me to just listen right now or do you want me to speak into that?
So ask the question. What do you need? And it's a little uncomfortable at first to kind of exercise that muscle. But then I see that as like, oh, well, he's being very gracious because he naturally, his heart is, I want to help my wife. But what would help her right now?
Is it just listening, holding her? Is it speaking life into that And sometimes it just I just want you to listen right now And I think God is a great listener That good You know and we see that in scripture but God can also speak into things And so I feel like him offering that question helps out a lot That's great. I found myself too where in scripture, when it says to take every thought captive, I think I was in captivity because I would let those thoughts linger and I would play with the thoughts of I am terrible and this will happen. And it doesn't do any good. That's not from the father.
And so I've learned to give those thoughts to the father. One of the questions that we get most often this time of year, and I get it personally, is when women come up to me and say, what study should we do with our small group this year? Have you gotten that? Yeah, I get it from guys. I get it from couples.
And here's the thing. You can pick. We've got the art of marriage. We've got the art of parenting. We've got vertical marriage.
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I really hope you'll take advantage of this sale. Again, it's 25% off. Just go to familylife.com slash shop. We've got one. Normalize, apologize.
That's one. Normalize, apologize. I like that. You got another one? No, I'm going to you.
Well, mine feels so lame compared to that. That was like deep. I mean, one of the first things I thought, it's like, if you want to share your faith, lead your family, bring Jesus into your home. One of the things I've done over the years that I feel like is helpful is when I'm listening to a sermon, when I'm listening to a podcast, and I'm really thinking like when I'm in church and there's a message being given, I take notes on my phone. And when I preach, I get on people like, why is nobody taking notes?
80% of the congregation will sit there.
So you shame them. Yeah, I shame them. I know I'm shaming them. I'm like, do you realize you're going to remember more just if you write something down? That's true.
Today, obviously, I do it on my phone and I go to my notes and I'll take notes on it. And why am I telling you this? Because then I share it.
So, you know, I sat like Sunday. I was at church and I'm taking notes and I'm like, this is powerful. And like, okay, I'm sending this to my boys. I'm sending this to men that I know. But again, it's just the way it's like, this isn't just about me learning and growing.
If I'm a dad, I'm a husband, a wife, a mom, I've got people that I can share this with. And I've done that with, you know, when I was Detroit Lions Chaplin, I would even say to the guys at chapel, anything I'm saying that you want, I've got my notes. I'll text it to you.
So everybody in the room would say, text me that entire message. And so it was a way to just take what I'm learning and what God's saying to me and teaching me and sharing it. We live in a digital world where that makes it so easy. That's why I don't write notes because it's so much harder unless you take a picture and then send it. But I'm always doing it digitally.
Mine was super similar to that. Is this the third one? Because we've got two out of five.
Well, no, it's kind of the same because mine was talking to the kids about everything Jesus is teaching me.
So it's basically the same thing. And when I'm not overflowing and talking about something God has done or Jesus said or he's doing in my life, I realize, oh, I'm not tapping into him, which is so easy for all of us to do. But for me, it was a little bit of a, it was like a temperature gauge, like, oh, I'm not connected to the Father. And I think one of the things that I've really liked doing is sharing with them stories of what God did that day. And you know this, whether I paid for someone's lunch or I paid for someone's groceries.
I want them to see that our love for Jesus is something that's active. It's not passive. It's something that compels us as we love people and we see people, we notice them. We say things to them that God would say. I wanted that to be a normal part of the Christian life.
See, I get teary talking about it. I was going to say, you're getting teary about what part of that? This is all we're doing here today. We were just crying. Was it the passing on to your children or the reaching out and touching people?
I think it's one of the greatest joys that God can give us is when we love and see people the way he would do that. And I don't feel like I was good at that growing up because I was so self-centered that I couldn't be other-centered and see the beauty in the people around me. Whether they're Christian or not, it doesn't matter. Right. Even if it's a homeless person sitting on the street and saying, I see you.
And letting our kids see that that's normal in a Christian life. Yes. We've got two. Oh, that's good.
Well, that's kind of two and a half. Two and a half. Two point five. Yeah, there you go. It's kind of like that.
Two point five. I like it. We're halfway done. I have one that I was thinking about when, maybe when JL, my daughter, was a little bit younger, but when we had more time to take walks together. But if you're in a place where you can take a walk, I love doing this with little kids.
You see that tree over there? You see that bird? And depending on the age, it might just be, who do you think made that? Yeah. Who made that?
Oh, God made that. Did you know he made, wait, mommy, did he actually make the sky? And, you know, just continuing. I think about, was it in Deuteronomy where he talks about as you rise, as you sit, as you walk, as you, it's the word of God.
So I've taken that a bit to heart.
So literally we'll go walk and I love nature.
So, you know, walking and being able to talk about, can you believe God made all these different kinds of leaves or these kinds of, you know, depending on where you live, you can point to anything.
So I like that. And then also with that, maybe this will round out the point other point five. But when you see an item like whether it maybe you see a bird or you see whatever you know the story in the Bible that like that And it kind of always goes back to storytelling Oh that good You know yeah that reminds me of this story and making it not about I teacher you student you must now listen and receive my wisdom that it's not like this. That was my authority voice.
So I'm saying, don't do that. I'm saying come side by side and say, man, that reminds me of this one story in the Bible. Have you heard of? You're such a good storyteller. Your voice is so good.
When she was reading parts of her book, weren't you like, I wish she would read like that to me every night. If someone wants me, like, I would love that. Like, I love, we're reading through Chronicles of Narnia right now at night. Maybe that's the other, is read through some good literature that will kind of spark that conversation.
So, you know, I've got one. Get Kina's book. Oh, there you go. And read them with your kids. Is this number four?
I'm not mad at that one.
Okay, let's say that. That could be one. Reading. Yeah, though, yeah. I did it whenever we were home.
Every night. Every single night. We would do this with our boys. We'd lay in our beds.
Sometimes all three were in my bed, or I'd take turns with them. But especially reading some literature, like the Chronicles of Narnia. Those are so good. I know, and then I cry, and then I'm like... We just finished Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe, and when it talks about when Aslan dies, and how Susan and Lucy felt the darkness and the pain and like, you'll never be happy again.
The way C.S. Lewis describes it, of course I started crying while I read it. I was like, baby, I'm sorry. I just started crying. And amazingly, as a seven-year-old, she was like, it's okay, you can cry.
And I was like, wow, something that we've been trying to teach her is actually settling in and that's encouraging. But being able to have those resources is such a privilege to have the literature that we have, just a wealth of whether it's picture books or storybooks, whatever it may be, those things. Again, it keeps going back to story, I feel like. Oh, definitely. And I could throw in movies as well.
Yeah, exactly. It's saying utilize video. And you got a phone. You can pull it right up on your phone. Anything and say, let's talk about that.
That's really good.
Okay, got another one? Do you? Your turn. Live it. That's good.
We wrote about it in our No Perfect Parents book, but faith is caught rather than taught. You can teach all you want, and that's good, and we should. And we should open the Word, but they're going to follow what you live. And so I'm not having to do this because I'm supposed to lead my family. It's like, no, this is just who I am, and it's coming out, and I'm in the Word.
And because I'm in the Word, God's speaking to me, and I have something to give. You cannot give away what you don't first possess.
So I would just say, man, that is the greatest thing you could ever do. Live it. And, you know, instead of looking at your kids like they got to get this, look in the mirror and say, am I getting this? Because if I'm getting it, it'll get passed on. That's good.
All right. I guess we only have one more left. Joy. Bring joy into your home. I know that I could say Jesus, but Jesus is joy.
So bring joy and Jesus into your home. I mean, in James, when it says, consider it all joy. my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that I'm thinking of you, Kina, because you've gone through a lot, knowing that the testing your faith will produce endurance, you'll be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But there's something about when our kids see us, even through trial, there's a contentment and a joy in our, that we're looking to Jesus.
So that's part of it. But the other part is just having fun as a family. We had fun. We would do things that our kids, our neighbor kids would hang out at our house all the time because we were doing crazy stuff. You know, we'd have these water gun fights where we're running down the streets.
You were playing sports with the kids. We were playing street hockey, capture the flag. We would toilet paper our friends' houses as they got older because they want to do something risky. In a modest way. We didn't destroy their houses.
No, it was just, but they're little. Shaving cream, slip and slide. Yeah. Last day of school was shaving cream, slip and slide. I wouldn't go to your house.
I mean, when I used to drive around our cul-de-sac in our car, just going around and around. One time, I parked the car sideways in the driveway.
So it's turned sideways. And the kids are like, what are you doing? I'm like, let's go in the house and see which neighbor calls first to say, what are you doing?
So we were in the car for maybe three minutes. It was immediate. Oh, my goodness. And we knew. We all guessed.
Like, who's in the car? What's wrong with your minivan? Why is it parked sideways? He's like, okay. Oh, my goodness.
This is when they got into middle school, high school, where we're going through a drive-thru. This is super late at night, so the lines aren't very long. But I took this sticky note. This is terrible. I'd probably get in trouble for this.
Sticky note and wrote on the sticky note, I had a Sharpie with me. It said, speak loud, right where the sticker is. It said, like, speaker broken, speak loud. I don't know if I said speaker broken, because that'd be lying. She put it on the microphone for the drive-thru and then they went inside to listen to people.
And so we go inside, this is like 10 o'clock at night and they're screaming, I want a hamburger. And the people are, the workers are like, what is, why are they screaming? You know, when we're shaking, we're laughing so hard. Oh my goodness. And so there's parts of that that I wanted our kids to know.
We love Jesus and this isn't this boring place. We have joy. we want this to be a place that attracts everybody because that love and the joy that Jesus brings is something that's contagious. Yes. That same hospitality that the family that where I heard first heard the gospel that they showed me, that's something that I've been trying to emulate as well in the neighborhoods we've lived in.
And one of the biggest privileges to me is when one of the middle school girls in my old neighborhood called me, multiple ones of them saying, you're like my neighborhood mom. You're like, I can talk to you about my stuff. And you know, I just our doors are open. My husband and I have had a big, you know, kind of hospitality policy Like if they neighbors like you welcome in Just we might have a messy day We might have a rough day We might have a great day but you welcome into our space you know And I think what happens as our kids get older, we've shared this a few times, but their friends are hurting. And they have stories when you're open and as you're watching your kids' friends just to sit down and say, you know, just kind of where you were at, Tina.
Like, hey, you know, it seems like life feels heavy to you. Am I correct? Can I pray for you? Is anything going on? Man, these teenagers will cry.
And they may not pour it out to their parents, but sometimes they'll pour it out to you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's so true. I know I was like that. Really?
Yeah. My mom could have been telling me the same exact thing that you told me. But when you said it, I'm like, do you realize this is a good point? And just open up to others. Oh, I'd like to live on your street.
Isn't she cool? I want to do the water gun fight. That would actually do it. I might take some of these ideas. We had one little girl that lived on the corner.
I think maybe they're in the fourth grade. She comes to our house and we're going, we're going toilet papering tonight. Everybody get in the car. And she raises her hand. She goes, could I come with you?
And so I'm like, well, we have to call your mom. And so she gets on the phone and she goes, my mom doesn't believe me because Dave's the pastor, you know?
So I get on the phone. I'm like, hey, yeah, we're going to go toilet paper. She goes, I thought you guys were nice, like Christian people. Like, yeah, we're just going to toilet paper our friend's house. We do this to each other all the time.
It's really fun. Your daughter will be safe. She goes, okay, I guess. That's hilarious. I love that.
Joy is contagious. Yeah. And you want people to come to Christ. If you have real joy, not fake, but it's an overflow joy, They're going to be drawn to that. That's true.
Okay, this is a big ask, but we would love it if you could read to us Love Can, the whole book. I would love that. That would be my honor.
Okay, you ready, kids? We're ready. Before God made the heavens and the earth, he lived in perfect joy. He delighted in himself, one forever existing perfect being. Father, Son, and Spirit, all one.
But God wasn't done. The Father made us with love, but we turned away.
So he gave us his Son so we could be saved. Then before Jesus died and rose and went back to heaven, he promised his friends he'd send a superhero helper to live inside of them. His Spirit. The Holy Spirit is God, just like the Father and the Son. You can't see him, but he's not hiding from us.
Have you ever felt the wind blow on your face? Have you seen trees bend in a hurricane? You can't see the wind, but you can see what it does. And you can't see the spirit, but you can know he's around. How?
The superpower of love.
Now, if you're anything like me, you sometimes dream about having a superpower or two or three. like super strength or super speed or invisibility or jumping over buildings, flying, mind reading, time traveling. But what if you had the superpower to love? And I mean to love so much that your love made you look a lot like Jesus. You see, the Spirit's got a super huge superhero job.
He's been doing it from the start. The Holy Spirit connects us to God's loving heart. Can you imagine the love God has for his son? It's deeper than the ocean, wider than the sky. It's higher than mountains.
But here's the surprise. That same love God has for his son, Jesus, he has for every one of us who believes in him. Don't you see? God is love. the Father, the Spirit, the Son, and love loved so much.
Love came to live in us. The Spirit helps us believe in Jesus and tell others about him too. He gives us the superpower to show all the things love can do. Love can be patient when waiting in line. Love can be kind when no one is nice.
Love can share even when it's hard. Love can be honest and not tell a lie. But perhaps the toughest thing love can do, love can forgive when others hurt you.
So what do you think? Can you love like that all by yourself? Or do you think you might need some superpower help. I know I can't and neither can you, but God is love and love can. It's true.
That's why God gave us his spirit.
So with love in us, we can love too. All right. Another great day with Kina. And again, her books are Love Made, Love Gave, and Love Can. There are three kids books and you got to get them.
Here's how you get them. Go to familylifetoday.com. Just click on the link in the show notes and you can buy them there. We know life is full of challenges and families today need biblical truth more than ever. And as a Family Life partner, your monthly gift helps bring the truth into homes every single day through podcasts, events, and resources.
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