This is Nikki Glaser from the Nikki Glaser Podcast. On a more serious note, I'm still thinking about that commercial with Tom Brady and Snoop Dogg hating on each other, because when you listen to the reasons for hating someone or something, you realize just how stupid they really are. There is too much hate in this country, and it's got to stop. So join us at iHeart and standing up to it. If you see hate, speak up, call it out. And you can learn more by following at What's Up With Hate.
It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. The University of Florida conducted, they said it was a shift towards human modified environments and that it was quote, like something out of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The abundance of animals down there was surprising, in quote.
What did I tell you? Like, even in the puddles, man, they're there in the puddles, dude. It's like it in the storm drains, but gators. Ah, they're like, yeah, they're like all down. I just don't just if there's water, even if it's like a trickle, there's a gator in it. Just just just just know this. That terrifies me. I'm like, like super hyper aware whenever I'm in Florida.
I don't want to talk about the dogfighting thing because that makes me sad. And I just I'm going to want to say mean things about that guy. A resident in Collier County, Florida Man stepped in to help a gator that had a football stuck in its mouth. Now some of us would say that's what you get gator for going at everything.
That you think you can. But a resident, it was a pretty large gator. He, the gator was struggling. And someone had noticed it was struggling for like a while with this football in his mouth. So he went over and was able to get the football from the gator. At first he was going to try to pop it to deflate it because it was legit stuck in the gator's mouth.
But he apparently was able to get it and then get to safety and he saved the gator according to 7 News in Miami. That's brave. I, I don't know that I would have done it. I mean, I probably would have from the safety of a tree with a long stick. But that's, that's it.
I'm just saying. A Florida man was busted after his fingerprints were lifted from a box of goldfish, like the crackers, like the goldfish crackers. The habit in Gulfport, Florida, the cops allege that Michael Gonzalez aka gizmo hit a 65 year old when he was out walking, leaving the family dollar. He had $50 worth of cleaning supplies and a box of goldfish crackers. The 65 year old was the manager of the store. He said the guy that Gonzalez is stealing, he confronted them. They did bust Gonzalez because he had his fingerprints on on that. And a Florida man slaps a girl who was bullying his son.
You cannot do this. This is where you get the sisters involved, right? Or this is why dudes have girlfriends. Your boys can't hit a girl but a girl can hit a girl. Although I will think if you're a girl and you're beating up on a boy, then that's fair game. We're not doing that stuff. Like you're just asking to get slapped if you're doing that. So don't do it. Like if you want equality and all that stuff. Slap.
There's a quality girl. All right. I'm just saying, you know, I hate this where it's like, well, you can't hit me because that's sexism, but I can hit you all day long. Well, I'll talk more about this one in Florida man tomorrow because it's kind of long. But yeah, that's why especially when they're young.
Gotta have a big sister come in and handle it. Caltech the PR 57. It is their rotary barrel pistol chambered in five seven. Now, they change concealed carry once before in 1995. And they kept doing it with their their micro compact designs.
Now it's with the five seven. So the the PR 57 rotary barrel pistol is 40% lighter than the next five seven. So it's actually a realistic thing that you can you can carry. I mean, it's it's and that's like how they that's how they built and designed all of this. Like it's for when it matters most and low recoil for ease of use and accuracy. It's engineered, very simple. I mean, the simplicity is is is incredibly innovative. So they have a unique top loading design that replaces the traditional magazines with stripper clips for a slimmer carry profile and you got a 20 plus one capacity. So you know what the left can actually say clips with this one then the instead of magazines because they make that mistake all the time anyway. MSRP is only $399 it's super affordable. This is one that you can absolutely afford and you should get it's the first of its kind from Caltech the PR 57 rotary barrel pistol.
See it for yourself at Caltech weapons.com Innovation Performance, Keltech, Keltech weapons.com tell them Dana sent you I don't know if you saw over the weekend. Who was it? Joy Reid.
Her shows canceled. I feel like that's the show that's kind of the avatar for all Democrat commentary. And I don't feel like that's off base, right? Can't wouldn't you say that that is pretty representative of the tone and the depth of a lot of leftist commentary is Joy Reid show and Joy Reid is just a miserable, miserable person. And I'm not even quite sure what the purpose of her content was. It's she didn't explain anything. She doesn't have she never dives deep on a particular issue. She just sits there and in and spews invective.
And that's pretty kind of that's it. I don't know what she actually does, or what commentary or coverage she actually provided that was in any way, educational or enlightening. It just doesn't she didn't none of her content was smart. It wasn't engaging.
It was like an hour long Maoist struggle session. And she screamed at everyone else. And she was just a pretty abrasive personality.
And that network doesn't have a high bar anyway, but it was still embarrassing. Because that's all it was. And her commentary wasn't any different on television than it was when she was, you know, holding her camera looking at herself, you know, and she's sitting in her house.
I don't know. And there are her ratings were horrific. Her and this so this is kind of my point. Her ratings were so bad. The network is dealing with crisis after crisis. So the network president Rebecca Cutler, apparently they were addressing she was addressing the staffers of I didn't even know what's her fate. Joy Reid show was called the read out.
Really. According to status news, Cutler told staff we're waiting to get a response from Joy and her team about how she would like you know, to handle some of these things. And we want to defer to her on this. She apparently hasn't said any she's been a quiet on tik tok. I don't think she's said anything on social media.
How's she? Yeah, I don't think she's said anything on social media. But the her their ratings were in the toilet. They're not attracting viewers. I don't even know how you sell ads based on the ratings that she had. She was barely so MSNBC total during the hours of eight to 11pm Eastern Time, they barely managed an audience of 734,000. We have more listeners than that regularly.
Like we have from digitally and terrestrially. We have several million listeners ever actually more than several every day. CNN get this at the same time slot from eight to 11pm Eastern CNN barely managed to net 522,000 viewers. That's unbelievable to me. How do you sell ads on that? I was thinking I'm like, how in the world are you selling? I don't even know what their ad rates are.
But I can imagine that they're they're pretty expensive. Nobody that the advertisers are looking at that thinking, well, what is the return on the investment of our ads, our ad dollars for this? She she was earning 3 million a year.
Oh my gosh. So if her show was not generating at least that much, she's unfortunately a liability and a negative. We have at a minimum seven times her audience every day.
Every day. And we we work with our different affiliates, and we track things digitally, etc. So we have a pretty good idea. Based on hard data of our audience, we have actually over seven times that she made $3 million. Your girl doesn't make 3 million. I'm not complaining.
I'm happy. But I'm just saying for the purpose of showcasing how tone deaf MSNBC is, that's pretty crazy. And don't forget, back in December, they actually did a salary cut for some of their larger earners. Yeah, they had, oh, what's her face?
Metta, right? Yeah, she had a she had a big pay cut. And that was big news.
I think Joyless got a pay cut as well. So think about this, you're, people aren't wanting to watch and those are the, they don't want to watch it. And those are the places that everybody knows, even if you're not super into politics, you know, Fox is right leaning, MSNBC is left leaning, CNN is left leaning. CNN, I think for the optic of being able to say that they have conservatives or independents, they, I would say aren't as far left as MSNBC, but they're still pretty left.
And that's not a rescue. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying here. I'm not saying that they're not left or that they're soft on, they're super far left. But when you watch MSNBC, it's like Mao came back from the dead and programmed them. I can't even for purposes for the show, to talk about their content. I can't sit and watch it. I just I'm like, if there's clips, we'll do that. I just can not. I can't watch it. It's so heinous.
So I'm not surprised with us. But I don't know how that that network stays and does what it does. A friend of mine was telling me their ad buys, their ad rates aren't as expensive as Fox's are.
But they're still pricey, obviously, especially for that primetime slot. This is the kind of stuff she did. So audio somebody 21. No one, no one on the left thinks this, except for her.
Listen. I mean, this really was an historic, flawlessly run campaign. She had never endorses anyone. I mean, we she had every prominent celebrity voice. She had the she had the the Taylor Swift. She had the Swifties.
She had the beehive. You could not have run a better campaign in that short period of time. Actually, you could have.
In fact, you could have not only run a better campaign, you could have run a better candidate, your party could have done everything better. I mean, that's just who says stuff like that. When you when you come out, even if you're on the left, and you are are bailing out a candidate to such a degree that you're debasing yourself in the face of reality.
People don't want to believe you and you lose stature in their minds. You're why do they seek out your analysis on something if you're just going to blow smoke up their backside? You know, and as Kane noted, I don't know, their their whole approach to programming is call everyone who doesn't think exactly like them, Nazis and racists and sexist. Even if you're a person of color, you know, for a minority and you're conservative, oh my gosh, you're a Nazi racist sexist. It doesn't matter what your skin color is.
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And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So remember how I was talking about with Matt Mowers and Zelensky and then we brought up the debt and all of that stuff and the money that you know how much did it stand like a hundred basically $100 billion?
Well, apparently Zelensky says, with all due respect, we do not recognize Ukraine's $500 billion debt to the US. But I'm sorry, what? Yeah, okay, we'll come back to the we're gonna come back to that.
Come back to the back to it. How small can a tiny home get? Stupid size.
Yeah. So somebody is excited that they built the world's smallest house. It's a cabinet for a person. It's not a small house. It's like the size of an outhouse. It's a coffin with a roof. Yeah, it's a you know what?
That is it. It is a coffin. It's 19 square feet.
How do you sleep in it? 19 square feet when you walk into it. It's literally a bench and then one counter.
That's it. The guy can't even stand up straight in it. You're in a little that's like a dollhouse. That's not a tiny house. That's a shed. That's a he shed. Sir, that's a shed. This guy's brag.
You know what? I'm saving this for tomorrow because I hate tiny houses so bad. If my hate was an energy, it would destroy them like the sun.
I hate them that bad. I'm coming back to this and I have a reason why. A tourist leaning out of a train for a selfie hit a rock. People. This 53 year old woman was traveling on Sri Lanka's iconic Poti Maniki line and then after she was literally hanging out of the train to get a selfie and hit a rock. What? No, she's dead.
The rock hit her to death like as she was just slapped and it dead. Why? Stop it. Stop falling into canyons.
Stop fall and hitting stuff with your head on trains. Just stop. It's sad and that what is so frustrating is that this is preventable.
Stop it. In Australia, if the animals don't kill you, the dirt will. Apparently people are dying from a soil borne disease after flooding in one area. This is coming from Australian media. Channel 9 News in Australia.
It's in far north Queensland. Two people yesterday. One person kicked the bucket last week.
21 cases total. I don't even know if I'm saying this right. Meliodiosus. I don't know. It's a serious infectious disease caused by soil bacteria in northern Australia. It enters into broken skin or contaminated water and it can cause pneumonia and it's a tropical disease and it's from a bacteria called Burkholda and it's found in like Southeast Asia and northern Australia and it's gross. It's just gross stuff in the dirt. So stop.
Stop touching dirt. It's like Australia is like the Florida of the world on roids. Like I said, I didn't watch the SAG award stuff. I didn't watch any of that. Jane, we were talking about Hanoi Jane a little earlier who went up.
This is audio sound bite 25. She went up and she was ranting about Trump and then she talked about, I don't think she knows what empathy is. Go ahead and play this.
Make no mistake. Empathy is not weak or woke. And by the way, woke just means you give a damn about other people. No, it doesn't. That's not what it means, Jane. But that's okay. I'm not going to have like the woman who gave aid and comfort to the enemy during the Vietnam War sit here and lecture everybody else as to what is or is not empathy.
Please, Barbarella. We're not we're not doing that. Nobody nobody nobody's going to sit here and get lectured by you of all people about that. But she went up and I don't know why she she's she says that Hollywood needs to fight these fraught times with empathy. So what they believe what that they believe empathy is calling again, everyone who doesn't think exactly like you racist, sexist Nazi. That's their idea of empathy. Because they said, Oh, we have to, you know, tell she said in her full remarks, she's like, we're actors, we create empathy. You know, we have to understand other humans so profoundly so we can touch their souls. I don't know, maybe they tugged on her brain too hard when they were lifting her face up out of her breasts. I don't know. But at you know, come on.
Nobody believes this. And then she goes on this spiel about Trump and people who voted for Trump, etc. Go back and look at how the left ran off the normies.
That's when they lost this election. And they lost the fight in society because people don't want to be around somebody who bitches and moles all the time. You guys know like negative people drain you. They drain you.
I cannot stand super negative people. I don't have nothing to do with them. They absolute their energy vampires, they drain you. And that's how the Democrat Party is. It's an energy vampire.
They just drain you. Everything is somebody else's problem that they didn't have anything to do with even if they did. There's no accountability. There's no culpability unless it's something they think that they can use to their advantage.
There's no consistency. And the stuff that they focus on, I've been saying this since 2016 even before then, you know, I remember when I was covering the election, election night 2016 and I'm in New York and I was kind of I can't remember who it was. I was going back with a Democrat operative. And he was just he was saying that his his argument was that, well, Trump just might be a little better at messaging to blue collar. And I interrupted him at some point. I think Mike Huckabee was sitting in between us. And I remember saying to the effect he just looked shocked. I'm like, that's not it.
That is not it. The problem is is that you guys forgot what it's like for the average everyday person. You guys have no idea what regular people are dealing with. They have no idea how people are struggling when they go and buy groceries. They have no idea how people are trying to figure out, OK, well, what am I going to pick in life? Am I going to pick to pay my health care bills? Am I going to pay help with my sick parents? Because now we're seeing more and more people in the sandwich generation.
Are we going to pay for a kid's college or trade school or something like that? I mean, they're trying to figure out how they're going to be able to sustain themselves, raise their kids, care for their parents. They're in a bit of a pickle. And Democrats have done nothing but call everybody names and bitch about Trump. And they've done that since 2016.
And I remember sitting there that election telling this this operative, I'm like, this is what your whole campaign has been about, has been about how much you dislike Trump. People can't eat on that. They can't balance their checkbook on that. They can't pay their mortgage on that. They can't send their kids to college on that. They can't get a job on that. They can't retire on that.
So how about you get something substantial and maybe reconfigure your party platform and try running on actual issues instead of bitching and moaning. And they were just shocked. I remember that there was just like, like, when we went home, gosh, I'm trying to remember. I haven't seen him too much. But when we went back to the green room on break because they brought us out in panels and he didn't say anything to me. I don't think he liked my answer too much. Well, that's not my damn problem. That's your problem. And you still got it. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.
