Absurd Truth: Dumb Evident Idiocy

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Man, I got a whole, I mean, what in the world? Let's do this, can we do the stretcher thing?

Let's do the funeral home first. This is Fox 5 Atlanta that has the story. A Florida Man stole like this, this weird medical stretcher from a Dallas, Georgia funeral home.

Just to make it more confusing, Dallas, Georgia, Florida Man, right? So these officers responded to a vehicle break in the location of a funeral home and they discovered that a medical stretcher was stolen from one of the vehicles. The detectives got evidence, and they linked it with other incidents in the metro area. They identified 56 year old Michael Johnson of Florida as the offender, Michael Christopher Johnson. He, an arrest warrant was issued for him. He's got an extensive history of theft, according to police. So apparently he's like still out there.

Yeah. So this was Dallas, Georgia. That, so the the Dallas, Georgia, not Dallas, Texas police are looking for this guy.

But how do you not find it? They got his license plate. I mean, he's, you know, pretty easy guy to ID.

And why do you steal a medical stretcher from a funeral home? This is like Fallout or something like he's, you know, that's like Fallout 76. And he's like out there scavenging. Like what in the world is this? Right? It's weird. Out of all the things to steal.

What are you going to use it for? Unless you're a serial killer. And it's your victim. See the mind writes all kinds of stories.

I'm just saying. Alright, so let's see here this. This story. This one's not on this list, but it has to do with a drunk Florida man who horrified guests at the Marco Island Marriott. This is sent by Florida woman, Amber who finds some good ends, right?

Let's just say so this guy. He looks Alberta Hernandez 51 years old. He showed up to the pool at Marco Island Marriott hammered and ready to turn things up. But in a bad way. So police got a call because someone called the someone called the po po. They said there's a loud mouth here causing a scene at the pool. So the police come and they find drunk Mr. Hernandez wasted out of his mind. They said that he stole guests that he stole their phones. They had wrapped their phones and hid them inside a towel and left them on a table where they swam Hernandez stole them. And then they got he got confronted things got messy while they were trying to sort it out. Women approached them with a crazier story. They said that they were looking for the guy to report him to police because they were in the hot tub with other women. And Hernandez showed up and dropped his swim trunks and gave them a solo fiddle performance. I have no idea how else to put that.

And apparently there were kids around. And and then when the police got there, he dropped his bathing suit again and dropped the ones over at Caltech all day. I love the folks at Caltech and this is a great I got to tell you it's a great, great all American success story. George Kellgren immigrated from Sweden. And in the very early 90s like 1990 1991 he founded Caltech and began making super innovative pistols and rifles and shotguns accessories gear all kinds of stuff and just their mission is game changing innovation.

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Follow them on social media. That's ke lt EC weapons.com tell them Dana sent you the equity and inclusion that she's had everything handed to her because she's a woman because she's black because she's Southeast Asian because she's whatever. If we're going to talk about dei hires, why don't we talk about JD Vance? You know why JD Vance became Hollywood liberal and Hollywood darling and CNN contributor and all of those things?

Because he supposedly was the translator for hillbillies hillbilly elegy, right? So that was his entree his diversity, equity and inclusion. So let's include hillbillies and diversity, equity and inclusion.

Or is it just for black people and Latinos? I really don't think that I care to hear the analysis of an Olympic shooting gold digger who's putting down a swath of the nation. And you can cut that one. Because that's exactly what it is.

That was Anna Navarro, who somehow lucked onto the VO. Look, you want to be mean, I'll be mean, and I'm gonna be better at it. And I don't want to have to do this. But that really pissed me off to sit here and be like, Oh, he's a he's a dei hire for he actually went and got a law degree. And he was also he also served his nation in uniform, which, you know, Kamala Harris, you know, Huck taught 2024. Everybody's saying that now. It was Cain's original that, you know, she, she didn't do any of that. But Anna Navarro, by the way, and yes, an Olympic shooting gold digger.

I'm you can quote me six ways to Sunday on that happy to say it over and over again, because that's exactly what it is. If you're going to go after, you know, a giant section of the country and try to mock, you know, people as hillbillies and act like JD Vance as some sort of hillbilly whisperer, then I'm absolutely going to talk about your skinny in a shot. And the fact that you went chase money in South Florida, but you know, whatever.

Hey, I'm, I'm, I'm tired of this. Anna Navarro was a nobody when she was on Fox. I remember coming up in the industry, and she's, you know, she's older than I am. And I remember coming up in the industry, and she just was really milk toast. She nobody really paid attention to anything that she wrote, nobody paid attention to anything that she said she really didn't have any style. She really didn't, you know, she just sort of said the same thing that everyone else said, but always like a couple of days after everybody else already said it. And we know when you're, you know, milk toast like that, and not very original and not fast on your feet, you don't go very far in commentary.

And you definitely don't go very far in broadcasting. So her trade is cosplaying as a Republican on a very far left Marxist television show. And that's the only value that she brings to the table. She acts like she is a Republican. If she actually were a Republican, because they go at you when you're I've guest hosted that show before. I mean, they make it I've had a friend who is legitimately way more Republican than any of the the women who say that they are now on that program. And they made her life a living hell. So you have to completely you have to assimilate like the Borg and be in order for them to accept you and to make your life easy on that program. And she wanted to take an easy check.

So she decided that's the route that she's going to go. But I'm going to tell you something, at least people who live in Appalachia, or people who live like in my third book, flyover nation, people who live in, you know, the Midwest or in the Ozarks, etc, they're honest about what they believe in about what they do. And they're not going to sit here and sell out for a paycheck and cosplay as something that they aren't, you know, and live this very, you know, shallow, materialistic, unfulfilling life so they can get clicks.

That's not what they do. They actually live really rich lives. And so in some ways, I feel really sorry for her because she never met no hillbilly.

Number one. People are way more competent, way more self sufficient than she is. And again, I just really have a problem with accepting any kind of serious legitimate analysis analysis from somebody who says something that everyone else was thinking and already saying two days later, you know, you're an Olympic swilling gold digger. That's exactly what you are. And you're cosplaying as a Republican. And if you have a problem with me saying any of these things, you can fly your fat ass to Dallas and come and ask me about it. All right. Happy Wednesday, everybody. So I give a damn juice today.

I am Thank you. That's that's my inner monologue coming out right there. I get I get really aggravated when people go after flyover nation denizens. You know, because those people have been kicked around six ways to Sunday. You know, in my third book, I went and I was looking at where do all the people who wear the uniform come from? Where do all the people who enlist come from? They come from all the places that the coastal elites like to mock.

They come from those places. You know, and if it wasn't for those folks that y'all on the coastal elites that all those people mock and, and laugh at and talk smack about and say he's a dei hire me because I mean, that's not even in any ways original. Actually, I read it somewhere else first. I think she just repeated something that I've seen already. I actually read something like that a couple of days ago on social media, like at least be original.

Oh my gosh, if you're going to insult someone like at least acknowledge the tweet that you stole. But I'm so tired of these people getting kicked around and smacked around, simply because they don't live shallow materialistic lives like people on the coasts, like these these progressive elites on the coast to do I get so tired of this stuff. You know, I mean, the nicest people that I've ever met are those folks. And my my family comes from those folks. My family's from those arcs, you know, Keens.

Keens families, you know, he comes from, they got a lot of family in rural Illinois, we got a lot of listeners all over the country, we got a lot of listeners that are stuck with the coastal elites, and they're holding it up and doing the best that they can in some of these cities on the west and east coast. But I'm just I'm so tired of it. We're not going to revive that now. Kamala Harris, when the press tells you not to talk about something, that means you should talk about something Kamala Harris, you don't even really need to bring up the fact that she's a dei hire. You know what poo booty juices to he got hired because he's gay. That's why he got hired. He got hired because he likes to have sex with dudes. Kamala Harris got her career started under Willie Brown, like literally, it's not an exaggeration. Again, I'm just the messenger, go and talk to the Associated Press if you have a problem with it. But that's how she got her start.

She got her she started her career that way. I mean, and all of that information came from other Democrats in California. So get mad at those people for letting all of that information come out in the first place. She, she has not done anything.

Anything except jail minorities, prosecute people who busted Planned Parenthood for selling baby parts, and being a horrific border czar, which the media is now trying to say that she's not. This, I saw this piece Axios, who was one of the original, it was Axios, and I think the guardian of Politico, or somebody telling Politico, oh, Kamala Harris is never border czar. That's a whole thing that the right created. Axios actually had to in the past hour, they had to revise their story. They put at the bottom of their story, and this is so rich. They put this up because they had they had a little correction. They had there that this, this article has been updated and clarified to note that Axios was among the news outlets that incorrectly labeled Harris a border czar back in 2021.

Hmm. That's a pretty big correction. Don't you think so? I mean, that's a significant correction.

I mean, these people are not serious. And then they and then they tweeted, they finally had to tweet. Yes, you know, they because they had they had initially put border Harris border confusion haunts her new campaign. And they had written the Trump campaign of Republicans have tagged Harris repeatedly with a borders are title which she never actually had.

Oh, my gosh, we're not can you play that? What's audio is that again? Audio somebody 25 just just when they start just when Biden says she's borders are because this is where that phrasing came from. Listen, I've asked her, the VP today because she's the most qualified person to do it to lead our efforts with Mexico and the Northern Triangle. And the countries that help are going to need help in stemming the movement of so many folks, stemming the migration to our southern border.

Hmm. borders are. She's the borders are. That's where it came from.

He did it. And so everyone began calling our borders our borders our borders are so she has borders are she's a borders are. I agree with Annie Oakley, who said, quote, I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies. Now I myself regularly concealed carry nine millimeter. Now that said, not every woman is like me has had the hours of training that I've had or feels comfortable around firearms during the pandemic. I like to change that what I can while encouraging self defense at the same time.

So this is where Burna comes in. It's kind of like a starter weapon. It's they make a non firearm firearm. I like the idea of incredible force sending chemical irritants towards a threat as an additional option for women and the Burna s d model shoots chemical irritant projectiles 68 caliber rounds that can deter threats in their tracks up to 50 feet away from the ground.

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It's time for Dana's quick five. And I'm seeing all kinds of headlines about Harris is going to pick this as her VP. This is her VP. We'll see the latest is Shapiro, Josh Shapiro. That's what is being suggested.

So we'll have all the latest on that. All right, so first up, this is this is so stupid Gen Z. Not everything is cool. They're trying to talk under consumption core. It's called frugality. Under consumption core.

Stop it. Fortune says that Gen Z is embracing under consumption core to fight climate change and inflation. And they they actually you know, you don't have to be materialistic. You don't have to get into consumer culture. Just be frugal.

And it's not called under consumption core. Stop it. There are words already that exist for that. So remember how we had this story of this of this chick who got bit by a tick, and then she was allergic to like all red meat and Kane and I were horrified. And everyone who likes red meat was horrified.

Well, now they think that they've made a breakthrough because they said pig transplant research has yielded a surprise. Bacon is safe for people who are allergic to red meat. Wait, so you didn't do anything else about the rest of the meat, though? I mean, the bacon's fine. But what about the rest of the meat? I still say that's all big ol' wop. I will fight you. If there's one thing that I had to cling to besides I think Bigfoot may be real, and aliens exist is that I do believe that, you know, maybe that they're trying to engineer ticks to get people allergic.

I'm just saying it seems like you know, Occam's razor here. People want more protein, even more protein. Even at dessert. Got to get them gains, yo.

People are flocking to ice cream cakes and cookies with extra protein mixed in. I got to tell you, because my side of the family is crazy high metabolism. Like my grandfather, who was a rancher, was like shredded wheat up into his 80s.

Like he was just crazy thin, didn't go gray. He was just, you know, but my kids, you know, when you're dudes, it's a little harder to gain weight. So when you have fast metabolism to add muscle. So I would add protein into every bread. I did all the bread, the cookies, everything, and I added protein, whey protein into everything. And it has, it does help.

It does help. Doctors have revealed, oh, speaking of Anna Navarro, they've developed the hidden side effects of the Ozymptotic boom, because apparently it's caused severe shortages. And people are having like serious gastric issues, and they're getting, they're having to get plastic surgery because their skin's falling off their face. Just wild. Boeing Starliner missions exceeded the 45 day battery window at ISS.

So the battery's dead. And they got people stranded up there still stay with us. Rashida Tlaib made a bunch of signs and she's sitting in Congress. She's sitting there being about, she's just being disruptive. You know, her, you know, she's an anti-Semite.

She's a raging terror supporting anti-Semite. And of course, you have the protesters, etc. They got into Watergate hotel where Netanyahu was staying. And they were pulling the fire alarms.

And dumping maggots everywhere. Netanyahu and the Israeli delegation were staying at the Watergate hotel. And they had, let's see. Yeah, they had protesters who got apparently very messy. Protesters, you know, targeted them at the Watergate hotel. They threw feces at Israeli delegates that arrived. They were apparently, I don't know, some people said that they got, I mean, they were able to like get inside, they released maggots. I don't know where they put them. They said they put maggots everywhere. They, I mean, that's insane. You think you're going to see any kind of, you know, arrests, well, prosecutions that come from any kind of detainment. And then there's a bunch of them that are protesting out in the streets.

And I made the remark to Cain on break. Why are they always like chonky and ugly? All these protesters are always chonky and ugly. And I just, there's never any hot protesters ever. They're all... And then you have some who are actually in Congress, like Tlaib that are holding up signs saying war criminal.

And then apparently, I was pulling this up real quick. I guess Annapolina Luna sat next to Tlaib just now. And she's got her war criminal sign. What do you think's gonna happen there? Yeah, they released maggots and crickets at the Watergate hotel. It was the fake name Palestinian because it's not a real thing. Youth movements. They took credit for it.

Like grown adults, though. And they got in anti-Israel, pro-Hamas supporters. They released maggots and crickets, a table full of mealworms. And I don't know where they actually put them at, but okay. And they said there's going to be no peace, there will be no rest until the war criminals arrest.

That's what they'd said. What do you mean Hamas? The Hamas that killed babies and children, kidnapped them and raped women to death? Hamas? Because nobody cares.

And then you have like Code Pink, you know, those little bitches. I mean, it's crazy that they're still around. They're out there protesting. They have fences up outside of the hotel now, apparently. They have 1000 protesters, only 1000. They have 1000 protesters.

They're gathering on Pennsylvania Avenue near the Capitol building. They're upset because Netanyahu's in town. So I don't know. These people forget who started it. This is why people say war is hell. Again, I'll remind people, war is hell. That's why you don't want it. But if someone demands that there's no other way, then you bring it to them.

And you don't let up until they're destroyed. Hamas has to be destroyed. There's no, we're not doing any of that.

Yeah, my friend Steven said this is the hockey equivalent of a player switching wing positions for a fight. That because representative Anna Paulina Luna got sent next to Talib. She's got a sign that says war criminal. I'm watching this one. Keep an eye on this one. I mean, I don't know. Just saying keep an eye on that one. Yeah, so I don't know.

She's so she's there just to be disruptive. And, you know, I guess they're mad because they're it's not Zelensky and they can't launder money. They're there.

I don't know. So and it's amazing who stands up and applauds and he talks about the war crimes of Hamas and who doesn't. So whenever he mentions apparently whenever not Netanyahu in his speech when he's mentioning the fact that, yes, Hamas did.

They raped dudes and chicks, raped women to death, sliced off parts of their body, threw them on the roadside. And when he say that, you know, when he's condemning that and people are applauding the condemnation of it, a ton of Democrats stay seated. They stayed in their seats for that. What? They will not condemn? I mean, it's in some of the eye rolls and everything else and the people some of the people who just stay seated. They can't you know, good heavens.

That's so sick. But yeah, calling somebody war. Hamas is the war criminal. Hamas should be wiped off the face of the earth in the most painful way possible.

They should be smushed out like the bugs they are. Because that's what Hamas says. And the people who support them are supporting terror and rape as a tool of genocide and all of that.

I don't have anything nice to say. I don't have anything that is FCC compliant to say with you have to out brutalize bad brutal people. I'm totally fine with that. I have no I think these people I think Hamas should be publicly flayed. Oh, I absolutely do. I think that they should be drawn and quartered and they should be publicly flayed as a lesson to every other terrorists that wants to attack innocent people, rape women to death and butcher babies. So and that's just the start of what I would like to see happen. And that's all I'll say about that.

We're going to move on. It's just disgusting to see people make excuses for for murderous terrorist rampages. It disgusts me. And for lawmakers to hold up signs like war criminal. I mean, you know, Talib can't even read. What the hell does she even know what's on her sign?

I mean, these Hamas apologists. Good grief. Is it a ping pong paddle that she's holding up? It's like one of those ones you hold up when you're at an auction. This is already becoming a meme. Someone goes when I go to Arby's and they tell me they're out of curly fries and it's a picture of her holding up the sign that says war criminal. I'm going to use this for something.

I'm going to actually save this because I'm just going to if you do something dumb like this you should be made fun of. There you go. All right. Yeah, he he had said talk.

He had talked about the 39 Americans that were also included in the attacks and the hostages that they were still that Hamas American hostages that Hamas was still holding. Democrats all stay seated for it. Wow.

Just saying. That's who the Democrat Party is. This is who they are now. This is not just a segment of that party. There's a reason why Harris refused to be there to preside over the Senate, as is her job as vice president, because she agrees with us. She agrees with Rashida Talib.

They cosign all of this stuff. They hate Israel. They don't just hate Israel. They don't like Jewish people.

Oh, there's no there there. There is no difference with these people on the left. Now the people who are smart and say, Well, I don't like these policies that Netanyahu has. They're very smart when they talk about it. They don't just like rant about Jewish people. They talk about, Well, I don't like these particular policies that you know, Netanyahu has taken or this or this minister has undertaken, etc. And they're because they're intelligent, smart people, and they can actually articulate what they dislike about what their government is doing, which is separate from the Jews. That's what you will hear from the left. You will hear from the left all the time. And when you can't even bring yourself to condemn Hamas, as a number of Democrats are doing right now by their refusal to even just applaud the condemnation of terror. Good. Yeah, they said some of them Netanyahu said some of the protesters hold up signs saying gays for Gaza. They might as well hold up signs saying chickens for KFC.

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