It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I just got to say something real quick about our bingo card. You can't call bingo now. You got to wait. It all has to be within the confines of the debate. You can't go, I can't tell you how many people are saying this and I'm getting emails.
They're like, well, he just did all this like in the past couple. I'm calling bingo. That's not how it works. It's got to happen in the debate. All right.
So first up, I don't even know where to start with all this. OK, so the guy remember the guy in Florida who his house got rammed by space trash, space junk. So he wants NASA to cover the damages.
They should because, you know, they did it. They said it was I don't think some one and a half pound chunk of some some I can't pronounce that super alloy. That's all I know. And it crashed through his home in April. It reentered the Earth's atmosphere.
It didn't burn up like it was supposed to. So it landed in his house in Naples and it caused some damages. So they there he's asking for NASA to repair his house.
And I don't know like what you know what it would set a precedent. But is that common for just, you know, like space junk to fall on people's houses? I don't think so.
So I don't think they need to worry so much about that. Yo, the man fix his house, right? I mean, it happened there. No fault of his own. Oh, my gosh. This headline right here.
Jimmy Christmas. Florida man on a tricycle got into a fight with a man that had a machete. You don't bring a tricycle to a machete fight.
All right. A Florida man was riding a tricycle and using a flashlight as his headlights when he was stopped and assaulted by a man wielding a machete, police said. Volusia County Sheriff's Office said the deputies were called around one in the morning to a beach in the area after the victim on the tricycle got into the altercation according to WFTV. The unknown man who didn't like the victim's tricycle flashing shining on him, his flashlight shining on him started the argument and then things escalated. The suspect was not he knocked the victim off of his tricycle and armed himself with a machete that a victim had in a book. Oh, so it was the victim's machete that he just, of course, normally carried in a little basket on the front of his tricycle, not even making this up. And then the suspect hit the victim in the thigh with the machete before they began to wrestle with it. The victim took back the machete but accidentally caught himself with it. It's probably why he's on a tricycle. The sheriff's office said the victim was able to get back on his tricycle, pedal away and call 911. When first responders arrived, he was taken to a hospital with non life threatening injuries. So they're still apparently looking for the guy who attacked him. So I just can I just say that I think I'm actually going to blame the victim for once you're on a tricycle with a flashlight tied to it and a machete in a basket in the front where ET would go.
This is insane. Okay, and this is also the third shark attack story I've seen in Florida. In the past week, a man was attacked by a monster shark in front of like his house apparently.
So Thaddeus Kubinski, 69, was out for a swim in the shallow water of Florida's Boca Chico Bay. He decided to jump off the dock and the canal where the sharks are. Apparently, his plunge attracted a nine foot long bull shark that was feeding in the water.
And well, they're very aggressive. They live near high population shorelines that shorelines thus experts think that because of that they're the most dangerous sharks in the world. And the 400 pound shark bit down at least twice on Kubinski and his wife had to watch and the guy was she wasn't a strong swimmer so she couldn't help. And she can't fight a shark. This is horrific.
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It's Kel-TecWeapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. Do you think some of the rhetoric, Speaker Johnson, I mean, just knowing you and how you conduct yourself, do you think some of the rhetoric is out of line when when people from Trump's team are suggesting that Trump himself that Biden is going to be on cocaine when he's on that debate stage Thursday night? Look, there's a lot of things that are said in jest. Of course, no one expects that Joe Biden might be on cocaine, but they they do ask questions. And I think they're they're objectively I mean, I think it makes sense why people are asking, will he be on some sort of energy drinks or something? Okay, look, his energy. Why does Mike Johnson? He's got this ability to look completely over it.
And also answer the question at the same time. Like he is a breath away. And I know he would not do this because he's a religious man. But he's like a breath away from telling you to go do something unflattering to yourself.
Like I really I'm over it just blank off. You know, he does look at every single time. He gives an interview. He has that exact same expression, right?
He's like, oh, I'm over it. I don't think anyone Caitlin thinks that he's going to be on. I don't think anyone expects that he's going to be on cocaine.
I actually do. I think that there's not a drug enough that is that a drug that's strong enough besides I don't know, PCP. They're gonna put on some kind of hopper. I don't know what I don't ever did determine the of the White House, the White House cocaine they found.
They never did determine who actually owned it. It probably has. So welcome back, everyone. Dana Lash here with you. The top of the second hour to get the FCC's Brendan Carr going to be joining us. I know I got a lot to talk about, but the debate, they're going to have him on something. Look, I I'm telling you, when I was at the State of the Union, and I went as a guest of my congresswoman. When I was at the State of the Union, not last, but the year before that, I was sitting up in the chamber. So wherever you see the day is that I was on the left side of it.
So if you're looking at the screen, I would be on the right side. And I saw Biden walk in. He did not look like a guy who was healthy. He was like leaning on the podium for support.
And I wasn't that far away so I could really see everything. He when you see it, you know, I mean, the guy's not healthy. I will. I'll die on that hill. He's had strokes. Strokes, plural. There's no way he just had one. This guy has had some serious issues and they aren't being transparent about it because they have to use him as a vessel for Obama's third term. It's kind of what it is. But they get him on something. It's not an energy drink. And we all know it.
And it's not just a B shot. We know it. Okay.
They're not doing that. What? Okay. This is me not knowing anything about drugs. First off, did I welcome everybody back top of the second? I did. Make sure you watch us on Rumble and X and all that.
There's a centipede substack. I just am so excited to talk about this topic because it's like I don't know any I don't know a lot about drugs except what I've learned on cops. Kane, what can they give him?
Like what would realistically they give him? Not like you're an expert on dope, but you know. Eh. No, you're right. I'm not. I mean, caffeine is clearly the go to choice. Okay, caffeine is not going to do it. Come on.
I get it. He's got to go for 90 minutes in this debate. But at the gas station, they sell these little white pills that are apparently concentrated caffeine that's supposed to keep like truckers that have been driving for 20 hours. Sounds like they're giving him Fin Fin.
Ginkgo biloba. I don't know what they're going to give him. Like what can they give him that is not going to kill him but will keep him cognitive? Because you know he's got other medication that you can't have it or conflict with. Right.
But what? They've got to put him on something. I'm telling you that.
Booger sugar. Every pharmaceutical comes with a couple few side effects. So whatever they're giving them may have a couple side effects, which then they'll have to give him more things for those side effects.
This could get bad. Is it mean that if I were Mike Johnson sitting there, I would be like, Yeah, well, what if he is Caitlin? What if he is on cocaine?
Do you know for a fact that he's not? I mean, they did find that little baggie of booger sugar there and a cubby. It was in right down the hall by where he is.
So what's up? That's I that would have been my response just to do it. And wasn't there a second cocaine discovery? I can I just also add to how idiotic is it? They're like, I can't believe that you would dare suggest that Joe Biden would be on cocaine for the debate. Wait, you mean you can't believe that the guy who has his actual crackhead son living in the White House, the guy who actually literally snorted blow off of hookers butts, you don't pull and there's video of it because he is an oversharer.
You honestly don't believe that there could be cocaine associated with that family. The guy who banged his his his sister in law, that guy, you know, Joe Biden, who if there's some questions as to when his relationship with Jill start and his relationship with his dead wife ended. I mean, you're you're shocked. Oh, my heavens.
Pass me the smelling salts. We're bringing class up in the White House. Right.
They act like I can't believe you suggested that your guy got. Your other guy that you lionized, he's been raising money for Joe Biden, got a haukta in the Oval Office. OK, let's not. Are you all right over there, Cain?
OK. It's like being on Thunder River at Six Flags, isn't it? It kind of is. I always hated that ride. You know why? Not because it was like a ride that was scary or because, you know, I thought we were going to flip. It's because I was buckled in to a floating device with a bunch of damn people. I didn't know those people scared me more than the actual ride itself. You know, you could have Godzilla waiting at the end with an open mouth and we had to get past it. That wouldn't scare me. Being trapped on a floating device with those people. That's where my fear of Cruz's came from. Really?
That's terrifying. But anyway, everybody knows he's going to be on something. I don't know. They're going to dope him up like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.
I bring love. And that's that's who you're going to see on stage at the debate. I was on Jesse Waters last night and I was saying that because they're not going to have an audience. So you can't stick London Roberts out there with Navy Jones. They can't have her as part of his entourage because, you know, these dudes are going to be traveling with entourages.
Well, in Joe Biden's case, it's going to be visiting angels, but they're going to be traveling with entourages and Trump should have her as a part of his entourage. Now, I had said last night that I think Trump's biggest disadvantage is not having an audience. Because think about it. There are people that when they perform or when they speak, they feed off of the energy of the audience. And I'll tell you that if I tape stuff as opposed to doing it live, I don't know. It's weird.
You just know the difference, right? If I if I'm speaking in front of groups and there's a smaller group as opposed to a big giant group, you feel it. You play off the energy of those people. And and that's one of the things that Trump really does. And so I think the biggest disadvantage that he has is not having an audience there to feed off that energy. That's, you know, to Biden's that plays more into Biden's sphere. But I don't really think the only reason he's not having an audience is so they can't see how bad off he is, which that's all you're going to hear about from Trump after this debate, by the way.
You know it. Somebody needs to sneak some like surreptitious video of Biden like shuffling around. That needs to come out.
That video needs to come out from this debate. You need to get in there in his green room, something. But that's I think Biden's going to try to push Trump's buttons, but he's going to have to be really doped up to be able to string together the thought process to do something like that. And it's really easy to pick to push Joe Biden's buttons. Joe Biden.
And I, I remember before he was vice before he was vice president. And even if you look at videos of him, like in the 70s, he's always been a jack wagon. He always has been a jerk. He's always been, hasn't he? Like an arrogant, but arrogant in a way that's offensive to people with merit because he's he's he's like a dumber John Kerry. Wow. He is.
Think about it. John Kerry. He is a sugar mama. He married money.
And that's why I say Joe Biden's a dumber John Kerry, because Joe Biden couldn't even do that. So he's got that's why he's got all those mortgages on his house, like 15 on one house. I don't even know how that's possible.
How do you do that? I don't know. And Cain worked in finance and we're both like, what? How do you that's just one house, one house. And he's got all this debt. So John Kerry at least married money.
Joe Biden didn't. I agree with Annie Oakley, who said, quote, I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies. Now, I myself regularly concealed carry a nine millimeter. Now, that said, not every woman is like me has had the hours of training that I've had or feels comfortable around firearms due to years of use. Or maybe they're by a gun free zone. I'd like to change that what I can while encouraging self-defense at the same time.
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It's time for Dana's quick five. I was reading this story about how California apparently has the nastiest beaches anywhere. And now they're shutting a whole bunch of them down because sewage is spilling into the ocean. Now, they're they keep trying to blame Mexico for everything. But, you know, some of this is also kind of like center state and up north.
Right up the north part. So it's not all Mexico, you environmentalist hypocrites. They said that people in Ventura County, for example, they they they said that the water was just horrible.
They said seven thousand six hundred gallons of raw sewage were released in Morro Bay Sunday. And there's just all I mean, it looks nasty. It's just nasty. The residents are complaining.
You know, how crazy is it that it's like a beautiful state has just idyllic weather and the greenest policies and it's the nastiest. Go figure. Right. Go figure. Loneliness apparently can dramatically increase the risk of a stroke.
Do you know what also can studies that I'm just I think that it's unhealthy to be lonely. I thought you could say the vaccine. Yeah. Clot shots do it, too.
The clot shot will also do it. They said scientists tracked about 12000 people aged 50 or over. People who had long term feelings of loneliness had far higher risk of suffering from a stroke. I also feel like maybe those people are just stressed out.
You know, maybe there's something to that. Every everything's going to kill you. Just just recognize that everything will kill you. Please, for the love. A planet killer asteroid.
Yes. Thank you so much. It is set to skim. Sadly, skim past Earth in days. It's a giant planet killer asteroid.
The space rock 2011 UL21 is the size of Mount Everest. It's one of the biggest potentially hazardous asteroids to pass by to pass by our planet in 125 years. Pass by. Stop and visit. Please come see us.
I'm so not joking. Either when Jesus or a deadly asteroid or Jesus riding the asteroid. I'll take any combination of that. But they said it's scheduled to come within four million miles of Earth on tomorrow. The closest approach in 110 years.
I'm going to say a little prayer that comes a little closer. You know, just saying pictures. Apparently, Fauci gets a huge perk, even though he's not at this 500000 a year job, really anymore. His government job. He there. He's being accused of trying to get sympathy with all the death threat claims.
I didn't get sympathy when I had death threats, but they said that he still gets super swanky taxpayer provided security. And then I stick with this. We've got a lot more to come. All Trump has to do if there's a way that he can artfully.
Well, he just needs to mention Hunter outright. And if Joe brings up both, then Trump needs to go now. Now, which story is this again? Trump needs to go.
Which story is this again? They have Sharon here. That'll really push his buttons. But then they're going to be mute in the mic. But, you know, he's still going to be able to hear him.
Right. Trump just has to push Biden's buttons and that'll up in the whole apple cart for Democrats. All they have to do is make sure that Biden keeps breathing on stage and that will be considered a moderately successful night for them. That's all they got to do. Make sure he doesn't fall. Make sure he doesn't deuce his pants. Make sure that, you know, he stays, you know, he's upright and that he's breathing. That's all they got to do. That's a tall order. It's a tall order, you know, but that's why he's going to have visiting angels out there helping him. Right.
They're going to actually plonk him right down on the stage right before the debate starts. True. True story.
But I don't know. You know, I don't think I'm ever going to be watching a debate as closely as I'm going to be watching this one, except the one where it was. I did watch the Hillary Trump one and she got mad because where she was standing, he would walk over to her and it made her mad. Oh, my gosh. It's going to be a smiling friends episode, isn't it? This whole debate. It's going to be like that, isn't it? Yeah, it is.
It's going to be like that. All right. And we're watching it and we've got Steve has completed. The bingo card. Now, you're going to be able to play along and I want you to share your progress.
We're going to be doing this onto Facebook's and I'm also going to have either I'm trying to figure out. I got some debate coverage with Fox predebate stuff, so I'm trying to figure out if it's a chat or thread how we're doing it. And Lorraine will be helping helm that.
But we do have it's the Dana show debate bingo. Now, let's you know, you've got your bonus space in the middle, but let's look at this. My favorite.
I don't know what my favorite one is yet, but I love because, you know, all of these are stuff that they've said over and over again. Price of McDonald's. Talk class at Penn. We're going to get into this. Hold on. OK.
Yes, Steve. All right. Now you can go. OK. All right. It is the Dana show debate bingo featuring the Joe Biden free space. There we go.
Look at all of these options that you have. Not a joke. Amtrak. Come on, man. Border invasion. You got CNN brings up J6. You know, that's going to happen.
Trump brings up Hunter tells Bo's story. Crooked Joe. How many times is he going to say Crooked Joe? I'm waiting now. It's Crooked Joe on there more than just on there twice.
Is it the type of top right corner? Yeah, we're going to have to. OK, that's all right. That's all right. We'll fix it. Yeah. Crooked Joe's on twice. One of them. Sleepy, sleepy.
I'll do that right now. Fourth, he goes back and forth. Sleepy Joe to Crooked Joe. That is true. Got it. Here's the deal.
Convicted felon. You know, that phrase is going to come up so many times. Biden. They're going to tell Biden to say that repeatedly to Trump to make him mad. Now, everybody's got a currency, right?
I've said this a million times. Everybody has a currency. And there's Joe Biden's currency is legacy. He wants to be like the new Kennedys.
And if you insult that, make him look like the trash that he is. He gets very upset by that. Trump's currency is public all population.
He loves the love of the public. And so I don't know how Democrats are going to deal with that. This is going to be a tall order for them. They're all freaking out. You know this, right? They're shining up Gavin Newsom as we speak right now.
They're shining him up. Kamala Harris is just sitting in the corner somewhere, just cackling. I don't I don't think.
Can I be real? I don't think anybody's going to be as excited about this as she is because she wants to stay VP. But I think she also hates him because she's a DEI hire.
And I think she also hates him. We all know. Come on.
I don't know, man. I am I am super I'm excited about this one. I'm excited about this one. Price of McDonald's threat to democracy overturned row. There I will say there's one thing about maybe the injections. How would you put that on the vaccines? The vaccines in quotes, vaccines, please. Tell me, were you actually given immunity about it? No, you weren't. Maybe something about that. Maybe we'll replace one of the Joes with that. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
