Absurd Truth: Turn Off Your Bluetooth

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I love that intro. Okay, first a Florida Man stared down a bobcat while chilling outside by the pool. This went viral all over social media. I think a weather guy in Florida actually was one of the people that posted the video. It says welcome to Florida where I bobcat walks right in front of you and you just casually continue about your day in the pool. I don't know if this means that you didn't understand it was a bobcat or if you've seen enough of them to be like, eh, it'll be fine.

This will all be okay. But there's a certain level of credibility I think you probably get as a Florida Man who did this sort of thing. Bobcats are relatively common in Florida despite most Floridians saying they've never seen one. This guy apparently is hoarding all of them in his house. That's Florida Man number one.

Of course we do. Florida Man number two is a dude that was actually intent on doing a lot of horrible stuff. It's a golf course greenskeeper who had intended to hurt and try to take the life of a few people at a college campus but luckily his plan was horrible. First thing he did is he drove a tractor through the college campus and through some of the dorm rooms literally like into the hallway and whatnot. That'll gain you some attention I imagine if you're driving a tractor certain places. I don't know why you steal a tractor to do anything. I don't know why in any scenario where you think you're going to outrun law enforcement or do something that people don't see coming. You immediately go the world of very slow vehicle accidents. I don't know why in any scenario where you think you're going to outrun law enforcement or do something that people don't see coming.

You immediately go the world of very slow vehicle that is very distracting if it's in the wrong places including of course inside a college dorm. Luckily he was arrested, caught, not capable of hurting anyone and likely going to jail for quite some time after everything about him was discovered. Alright I got a third Florida man and then I have a bonus Florida story I think I'm going to do.

Third Florida guy is everywhere. This story is being covered a lot. This is a guy who fell into a shark filled marina and he says he's lucky to be alive. He didn't feel teeth as they were sunk in to parts of his body and he said that's crazy that you don't feel that but he also said don't be scared. I think that was probably the best piece of advice that he gave to WFLA and WFLA.com which has the story up. He was bitten by a shark, he was flown to a hospital for treatment and as he said he admitted he is lucky to be alive but he's like you don't need to be afraid of him. Sharks are only so dangerous so often and if you fall in a giant area where a whole bunch of sharks are that's probably going to be a more likely to be bad situation than anything else. For the most part though don't take any additional precaution or concern.

Easy for him to say is probably the best way to say it. And then I do have, this is a bonus Florida story that I just like so much I had to include it. There's a specific county now in Florida that said they want to get in front of all of the bad weather that happens there.

St. Petersburg, Florida specifically. So for the time being you can show up to a certain area of public works and pick up some free sandbags that you can put in your house to brace yourself for any sort of storm that might be coming regardless of if one's coming or not. And the way they said that this is good is you don't want to wait in those long lines with all the other residents when the storm is actually coming, when the hurricane is upon us. You want to have your sandbags in advance. Now granted they don't have enough for you to take as many as you need. You only get 10 free sandbags per person which as via their own online post means you can only really prop up one door. You're only really securing one part of your home. But these are free for you and they're free to collect now regardless of if we're expecting bad weather in the near future. I found that to be hilarious.

And especially the people who take them up on that. These are going to be Florida men that I definitely would enjoy to hang out with because they'll be like, hey, what's that bag of sand or those bags of sand in the corner of your house right now? Oh, those are my free sandbags. I get 10, you get 10, we all get 10. I'm glad I have those ones there. I'll probably still need more if I have to brace for a storm. But hey, I'm on top of it a little bit. That's the kind of thing you do to let the misses know, I got this, babe. Don't worry.

Something happens, I'm in control. So set immigration politics aside for a moment. New diseases are entering through US borders and infections. The University of Nebraska's Med Center has been tracking it.

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Order yours online in minutes and your kit will be rushed to your door. Get 15% off at TWC dot health slash Dana and use promo code Dana. That's promo code Dana at TWC dot health slash Dana. There's something else I'm utterly tempted to play and discuss. And I don't know. I know that our producer and some other people are joking that this might this has to be some sort of prank that was played.

It can't be real. And I have no idea. I don't know what to say or think.

But Luca Doncic was doing a postgame press conference and, you know, regular questions are being asked. All this stuff is happening. I'm really going to play this audio. And all of a sudden you hear noises. You don't see anything. You don't really know what's going on. Your brain will probably decide what you think is going on. And so I'm not breaking any rules by playing this on the radio.

You're breaking rules in your own brain if you think it's untoward. But here is what the noises were. And then my favorite part is how everybody in the room reacts to it, because we are all kids at heart and we all laugh like teenage boys and girls in certain moments for certain reasons. Here you go. Luca even says, I really hope that's not live.

Wondering if there's a live feed, which there was of this press conference, which is hilarious to me. But I don't know what's going on. You don't know what's going on. You might think you do.

We might all think we do, but we don't actually know. I love the fact that everybody laughed, though, and everybody had a moment of pause and a moment to really think about a lot of different things and pull themselves out of whatever world you're in, whatever stuff you think is, you know, more important. I actually, you know what I really love about sports in general? And it's something that's been taken away very slowly by either the people in professional levels who need to talk about other things and not just the athletes themselves. I don't care if an athlete wants to have a message or stand, you know, on certain issues, on whatever platform they have.

But when the league is doing it, when the teams are doing these things that they seem to be throwing their support behind, it makes it unescapable. It makes anyone that disagrees or doesn't even want to think about it incapable of ignoring that part of whatever the discussion is. And the things I like is the moments in sports when you just get to escape, when you just get to be in the moment of a game where your team is trying to win and another team is trying to win and, you know, some things are happening that you're not capable of doing yourself on whatever the court or, you know, a field is. And you think to yourself, man, like this is this is a good moment or a cool moment or a moment I'll remember for a long time because of whatever is happening. And then also, I guess, in a press conference where something silly occurs, your mind just gets to escape from any of the seriousness. And we're missing that.

And that is the reason that I think more people say that sports is even a less relaxing thing. And actually, I think it was one of the most commonly given answers for the best way to escape from the news and things of the day that's slowly but surely been obliterated for whatever reason and a whole lot of ways. All right. One last thing. I do want to play this to get back to something serious. Just because I don't want to save it for later in the show.

So I'm definitely going to play it now. This is Greta Thunberg, the Greta Thunberg. She's attending a pro-Palestinian rally in Sweden. And she says that, you know, U.S. college protests should be everywhere. Everybody needs to be doing this stuff. They need to have their voices heard.

And she's being Greta in the Greta-iest of ways. Here we go. I think they should be everywhere. And once again, young people are leading the way, showing the world how we should react to this. Yeah, I don't think that's true, by the way. I think a whole lot of people feel that it is a absolutely oversimplified and offensive message that's being shared on some college campuses throughout our country because of how anti-Semitic a lot of it's become and how you're chanting things that terrorists, that Hamas chants, you know, and every other version of a reaction to it. Oversimplifying issues doesn't make them, you know, easier for us to find agreement on. It just makes it easier for us to see how truly, truly unaware those are who are willing to go this far with this. No, I don't think they should be everywhere.

I absolutely think these protests are things that even the people themselves that are involved in them will one day wind up regretting when they understand better what exactly they were doing. Our partners at Help Bring You Free Radio over at Keltech, the sub 2K, reads a sub 2000 on the website, but they have a new iteration. It's the Gen 3, Generation 3. It's shipping.

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All right, let's do some. Most Americans agree you stop being cool at 39 years old. That is when things tip. And apparently you have no idea what is trendy anymore. And that's fine. I think that people don't care. I think what actually is cool is the older you get, the less you care about being cool. And that's the thing that matters more. And I know that people that are of a certain age, I'm almost 39, actually, don't give a crap if you think that they're awesome or not or any of the things they say are things that you think are, you know, trendy or not. And none of that matters. And that, to me, is the coolest of all things. All right, that's one.

Another one I really liked. A wedding was upstaged by a woman that was described as dressed as a creepy cat or a creepy cat woman. This is the weirdest thing I've seen in a while. This woman is wearing half of a cat costume. Nothing below the pants is abnormal. She's got a regular set of pants on, but everything above is cat. And then she was slowly crawling and trying to approach the wedding from the background of it. And that is, in fact, very creepy and something that you don't understand why somebody is doing.

But I just love the fact that she did it lazy. You know, if you're going to be a cat, if you're going to claim that you're a cat person, go full. Don't go half. That's not dedication.

I'd be more impressed with you if you slowly tried to creep everybody out while also fully dressed up as a cat. I still wouldn't say that it's the right thing to do. I'm not all of a sudden a fan.

I just think it's ridiculous. Another thing out there that I saw and I thought was pretty interesting was something called the Comedy Pet Photo Awards. I guess they've been going on for a little while now. I know this is radio, so I can't show you all of these photos. But they are pretty funny. They're pets stuck in all kinds of different positions, whether it's a cat that gets stuck on the sidewalk with the butt sticking up, horses, all kinds of animals making errors in judgment that wind up putting them in somewhat embarrassing moments. And for some reason, someone took a photo of this. My favorite one, although it's probably not going to win funniest photo award, is a dog that you can only see the ears of that's buried in snow. Because my dog loves snow and does this constantly. And it's always the same level of joy. Like it's something I can't get as a person with a brain that's a little bit better off than a dog. And I wish I could get this joy because every time my dog buries her head in the snow and then pops her head up and runs around, she's as happy as the first time she did it. And that's just the ignorance is bliss. People are right, man.

It seems amazing. But anyway, apparently there's 30 entrants for the funniest or best comedy pet photo. And someone will win some amount of money and some sort of bragging rights. And I'll just be happy that you got to see a bunch of these photos so you can find them all over social media.

Actually, the New York Post, I think, actually has a post with all them, too. Another thing I found that I thought was interesting are the benefits of the cold plunge. A whole lot of people might be jumping into some kind of cold water or at least did during the winter months to raise money for something. And so people are wondering, is this good for us? Is this bad for us? Well, the Internet has tried to tell you and a lot of experts are saying it, in fact, is good for you. It helps with inflammation.

It helps with all kinds of things. And I really love this story because a friend of mine, a veteran, once a month on the 22nd of every month, jumps into a cold body of water and does it to raise awareness to something that is very important, veteran suicide. He calls it the Patriot plunge and he encourages other people to do it online.

The 22nd of any month, jump in a cold body of water and hashtag Patriot plunge. And you're helping raise awareness to something important. That's probably why I like this story as much as I did. All right. That's the quick five. A lot more coming up in a bit.

Craig Collins filling in on the Dana show. I thought this was interesting. Biden was giving a message to supporting women's sports. And yet so many Democrats, so many on the left, including the current president, misunderstand how that happens.

Misunderstand what that is. But here's a bit of that audience. Watch women's college game ever. It matters to girls and women finally seeing themselves represented and it matters to all of America. That's why as a nation, we need to support women's sports. As a nation, we need to support women's sports because, you know, this college athlete did get a lot of eyeballs. She's likely to get a lot of eyeballs as she moves on to the WNBA, too, which will be interesting. Kaitlyn Clark, of course, her name. But more important than that, you know, it'd be so interesting right now is if someone had come along in the last season that Kaitlyn Clark was in college basketball and claimed to be a woman. But in fact, be a biological man and just dominate, even dominate, say, Kaitlyn Clark on a basketball court. You would wonder if that would change the perspective, if that would change the conversation. And it probably wouldn't of many Democrats, because as I say that, you also have the CNNs of the world opening segments that they call the whole story by saying things in a pretty ridiculous way.

I'll play that audio for you quickly, too. In schools across the country, transgender athletes are fighting for the right to play sports on a team that aligns with their gender identity. Opponents are arguing it's completely unfair.

All right, I got to stop it already. So that's the lead in to their whole topic and their, you know, emotional story about how difficult it would be if your kid wasn't being allowed to play in sports for whatever the reason might be. Although, of course, this reason is that they'd have a biological advantage against people they were competing against. This is insane.

It's insane to do this. And the easiest thing to say about this that actually does protect women's sports is acknowledge why they were separated in the first place. Why don't boys play against girls in more sports, in more of our society? Because it wouldn't be fair, because there are differences between men and women that make it unfair.

You know it and I know it. I'm not trying to be sexist. I'm not trying to say that I would do well if I checked into a WNBA basketball game later tonight.

It's stupid to go those roads. But would any member of an NBA team absolutely obliterate people if they got to check in to a WNBA game? The answer is yes.

We know this. We've known this for a long time and yet we pretend this isn't true for the sake of, I don't know, a very, very small amount of people who may in fact be sad if they're not allowed to play sports the way that they want to play sports. But you have to acknowledge the challenge.

And I think the best way to even, you know, demonstrate this to anyone is something I've been saying for a bit now. Where let's say you were the parent of a young girl and she has dedicated her life to a specific sport from a young age, which a lot of kids have to do now to be really truly good at it, even at like a college level. It's amazing how much more money and how much more time is spent by parents and families on one sport for their kid if they really show an interest in it and really show a talent for it to get them to the top. So many people are dedicating, you know, and spending extra dollars and sending people on travel, baseball teams or soccer, whatever it might be. And so you do all that and your kid is one of the best of the best in most of the schools she's in. And then she gets to the collegiate level and she loses to someone who has had an advantage over her the entire time, an advantage that she can't close. What do you say to your kid who spent all that time, all those years training for a moment that they feel like was stolen from them?

And I know very few parents have kids who wind up going on and playing collegiate sports or any of that stuff. But again, that's where the real question is and the conversation is. And it's just utterly ignored as a quick sidebar to jump out of the world of these kind of political talking points. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.