Absurd Truth: Big Farmers

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so where to start? Let's start with this one. This headline is just all wrong.

Everything about this is horrible. A Florida Man hides meth in his butt after hitting a paraplegic bicyclist. Oh, my gosh. I have tears in my eyes. Okay, it was a Ford hatchback that hit the bicyclist identified as Stephen Watkins. Oh, my gosh, Flager County. The paraplegic bicyclist had been paralyzed from the waist down to a staph infection that he contracted at work.

He had minor injuries from the incident was transported to a local hospital. And the guy who was driving the dude named Oh, the driver for she looks like a dude 48 year old Clara Smith. She looks legit. Like she's 80. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. And she apparently she and her passenger they hit the bicyclist. They didn't stop. And then they police noted that they had damage to the Ford hatchback corresponding with the incident. And she said that she hit a curb. And the crystal like substance they found in her purse. It was meth. And then they they caught it on body camera footage. The guy tried to hide it in his butt.

The literally was on body cam footage. And they told him to stop that. So they they took him and they took them into custody. The guy's being held an $8,000 bond.

She's being held on $3,500 bond because you know, he did the tried to hide the try to hide the stuff right now. Let's see, I got a floor of Kane always says old people aren't innocent. A elderly man with a cane tried to rob a bank with a knife. And Pensacola, an elderly elderly man tried to rob a snovus bank. The 74 year old Randall Digsby walked in with his cane branded brandished a knife and took a small amount of cash. And he was arrested outside the bank at the moment that he hobbled out. So he there were no injuries.

The stolen money was recovered. And not all old people are innocent. It's not my fault. You hate old people. So yeah, and then I got this one a Florida man tried to burn a deputy's face with a meth torch. Is there like a specific torch for just the meth?

Like what about like a candle torch? Is it like the same thing? No. As we move our partners, who will bring you free radio our friends over at Caltech the sub 2k if you're unfamiliar with the sub 2k this is one of the coolest things that they make this for all the people out there backpacking and climbing and hiking and camping. And it's folds in half the sub 2k carbine fills that pistol caliber carbine gaps you got all kinds of options for popular magazines like Glock Smith and Wesson six hour, which makes it a lot easier to take along because you got a lot less to take along. So from right now until March of this year, Caltech is offering a $100 rebate program on any newly purchased sub 2k from a licensed dealer. So you buy a sub 2k and you get 100 bucks, which is awesome.

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It's like gun origami learn more about the sub 2k and that $100 rebate program by visiting Caltech weapons calm ke lt EC weapons calm tell them Dana sent you. He was in there for 17 minutes. 17 minutes. He didn't look well, did he? Was he high? He didn't look well. He looked ashy and like, ashen and his skin looked horrible. He looked just bad. He had a bad complexion. He had dark circles. He didn't look well.

And you could be like it's the stress or it's the crack. Do you think that he realized I liked what Kane said on break because I said I think I feel like he got nervous when he got out because he had this like big stunt. And then he storms out. And it because they weren't expecting him to show up to the hearing. He shows up. So that was part one of his stunt.

And then he storms out 17 minutes later part two. And then all of a sudden, he's out in the hallway with the reporters in the media scrum. I don't know if you saw his face, but dude, he was over his head. And he realized that he was over his head. Like his face was crazy.

He had that. We got this audio. Listen to this audio somebody 15. Just listen to some of the questions they were hitting him with. It was so serious. You knew that you know that this dude's writing a story on hunters preferred brand of crack in his luck. I don't just listen.

I just got to hear it again. Please. I'll answer your question.

Be quiet and let me make a statement. I mean, that was just a very what kind of crack do you normally smoke Mr. Biden? Is there like a brand new sidebar? I have no nothing about is there like a particular brand? You know how like the weed people like there's all these strains of weed? Is there?

Can I have a sidebar to my sidebar? I don't believe the government should tell you what to consume or whatever. I just want to have my guns and have my money on tax and be left alone. Anyway, is it really all that different?

Or did they lie to you? Are they just all high and they just are too high to know and they think they've got to convince in their heads that there's all these different strains because I'm sorry, it has turned into like a Portlandia skit, the marijuana stuff. Like this is our Lady Lavender Lace. This strain is for relaxation and all that. And I just I, I have no idea how that's even possible.

But it's it's hysterical to me. So is crack. Are they doing the same thing with crack? What's real are the strains for marijuana. What isn't real strains of crack. Okay, there's only crack. There's only just the one crack and you're taking a male crack plant and crossbreeding it with a female crack plant.

That's not how that works. I mean, the way that people talk about like the marijuana strains, it's like wine. Like they're like sommeliers. I don't know what you would call that for the marijuana. I don't know what kind of crack do you prefer? Yeah, what kind of crack do you prefer?

I mean, is there like a grain? You know, like different, you know, if you're like I guess there's stronger and I watch Breaking Bad. I've seen Breaking Bad.

I guess there's more potent and less potent. I've never watched Breaking Bad. What? Yeah, I've never watched it. Really? Isn't that the show about the meth?

It is. So what did you learn about from crack from that? Well, I mean, essentially, I mean, look, there's just like with any drug, especially hard drug like that. There's literally it's not like you're breeding it. It's either potent or not as potent.

That's different. That's not like a strain. Drugs 101 with cane. I, I just I literally have no idea. Like I don't even know.

Okay, so here's don't laugh at me. This is how much I don't know about drugs. Is okay, so there's cocaine and then there's crack. Right. Right. So I know we got to get going. Steve's dying.

Oh my gosh, we got to play that other soundbite too. You guys are killing me. Is crack like the great value version of cocaine? No.

Okay. Because I remember Whitney Houston, she said crack is whack. And she was like, offended when someone asked her if she smoked crack instead of cocaine.

And it was like, she felt like it was offensive. Because that's, you know, the downgraded You have to cook crack in poor version. Yeah, you have to make crack into existence. Okay, so last question. So it comes in a rock form.

You just said cook it. Is that what like the poor drug users have to do? Because do you have to chip it?

Is it like a prospecting? You got to chip your drugs off the rock? I don't know.

Everybody who wants crack has to cook it. Okay. I just I literally don't know about this. I would love that's why that reporter's question.

I was actually interested in that. I'm like, guess what kind of cocaine do you do? Or imbibe?

However one does it? I mean, I don't know. I mean, is that the one with the spoons and the foil that you see in the cop shows crack? Yeah. Oh, but you don't do cocaine. The cocaine like that?

Yeah, you kind of can. I've seen it. I clearly need to. I don't know enough about drugs. Ask Hunter. It's time to break.

Okay, I know. I just I was long story short, I was interested in that reporter's very serious question. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. Oh, my gosh, we have more of the we have more from the hunter Biden stuff.

Someone asked him if he was on what kind of crack he smokes and I'm dead. Also, scientists discovered that there's five types of Alzheimer's and they are hopeful that these discoveries, maybe the breakthroughs could lead to a cure. They say they are subtypes that are different in with abnormal proteins, progression and life expectancy.

So they say that there's five different types, subtype 12345, and they say that there's five different types. And they get into brain cell growth, the overactive immune system contributing to it, RNA dysregulation, there's a lot of very interesting stuff. So they think that this is a huge breakthrough. It's going to really, really help in finding remedies or, you know, maybe curing it all together.

Pressure is building on substack to stop pain. They're saying it's Nazi writers, to stop paying to start doing revenue sharing with Nazi writers. Now, my question is, have we not seen any of these supposed Nazi writers that they're claiming exists on substack? I'm just wondering, because everyone the left considers everybody a Nazi. I mean, remember, if you didn't support Obamacare, I literally had an elected official refer to me on CNN as a Nazi sympathizer, because I did not support Obamacare.

That honest to heavens happened. So I'm like, what is it not? Do they know what a Nazi is? I mean, they it's a revenue sharing thing. substack does not promote you, you it's just a facilitator. It's like it's like a platform. It's like anything else. That's all it is. They say that writers keep their sales, they take every something, they take something off the top, etc.

I think you need to leave companies alone. And especially I don't believe the left is the arbiter or really good with word definitions. So no. So the menthol ban, this is a big thing that's still, I mean, the fight that's still happening. The menthol ban is dividing health criminal and criminal justice advocates, which is fascinating. Criminal justice advocates say that it is going to lead to over policing in black neighborhoods. And before you say that menthol cigarette bans would do that, just remember, wasn't it Eric Garner that was killed because of he was selling Lucy cigarettes in New York. And that's what ended up happening. He was killed because of the Lucy law that was passed by New York City Council. That's actually true. They literally six months prior said that they wanted a more rigorous enforcement of Lucy laws because single cigarette sales were cutting into tax revenues for New York.

Go look it up. So they said that menthol cigarettes I actually do think that there's something to that it could actually lead to over policing of certain demographics. But also why is the government getting involved in telling you what you can and can't smoke or can and can't drink? I mean, and let's leave people alone. This is the government.

They can't even they could even make a health portal work for crying out loud. Stop. You guys lost the jet.

Come on. They did. So the SEC says it hasn't yet approved Bitcoin ETF and that the x account was compromised. So they said that it was the SEC gov account on Twitter or x. They said it was compromised that the unauthorized tweet regarding Bitcoin ETFs had not yet been made by the SEC or its staff despite the fact that they tweeted out such. They said that the price of Bitcoin spiked briefly after the initial post and then quickly slid below 46,000. So they said it was compromised.

Was it though? I feel like that was a draft that went out. That's what it so the messenger says that Elon Musk is suspending prominent journalists and influencers. And the effect they said it's a bunch of leftist people, people like like the intercept and others. The accounts were reinstated hours later, but they said that they were suspended because they had criticized Musk. Wait a minute. Now you guys are concerned about that stuff.

Like what about when somebody like me was suspended because of the New York Post story I shared? Stay with us. In addition to record breaking enrollment for health care coverage through the ACA, thanks to the Inflation Reduction Act, which every single Republican member of Congress voted against, we took on Big Farmer and we won. Took on Big Farmer? What? Took on Big Farmer? This is the only time I can play the Kenny Chesney song. Welcome back to the program.

Dana Lash here with you. Carine Jean-Pierre went to war with Big Farmer. I uh, Jolly Green Giant still repping Big Farmer? Paul Bunyan was the rep. May he rest in peace.

And I think it was Jolly Green Giant. Ho ho ho. Right.

But they told him he couldn't say ho ho ho anymore because it was like insensitive to like promiscuous ladies. So I, you know, Big Farmer. Hmm. Maybe she's actually talking about a large farmer.

Maybe they just, you know, had a little dust up. I don't know. She, I mean, who the hell knows? Can we play her hits here? Because she said some things in the past, KJP, where I'm, I mean, she might be talking about a large farming person. I don't know. What's some of the other stuff she said? Remember? Just so you know, this montage was created nearly a year ago. So just gives you an idea of how long she's been mispronouncing things. This is we're going to try to see if we can get through this without interruption.

Listen to all of this. Emeritus Benedict 16. Emeritus. She meant Emeritus, but Emeritus sounds like a nasty foot disease. Oh, what's wrong with you? It's my Emeritus.

It's just antibiotic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead.

Sorry. Bicarmel, Bipartisan Support. So bicarmel?

Does that mean two separate types of caramels? Not bicarmel? Bicarmel? Bicarmel.

That's a fancy way to say bicarmel. Okay, go on. On Clouser, who won the Nobel Prize in Physics. Nobel Prize.

You know, it is, Cain, we were talking about this. I mean, the Nobel Prize is respectable. It's a respectable Nobel Prize.

Goes to To say otherwise is just denying science. Yeah, I mean, it goes, Nobel people win the prize, right? I mean, it is, you know, it's, it's real, r-i-l-l. It is real respectable. The Nobel Prize is, you know, it's noble. It is noble. It is esteemed. It is respected. You know, it's a real noble. Go ahead.

Sciences. Hey, the Vice President will visit the DMZ. Nearly 70 years since the Korean- That sounds like a James store. The, it's the demilitarized zone.

Okay, go ahead. They're using energy, they're weaponizing energy, and it's choosing to, one of the things that has been out there to shut down the pipeline of Nordstrom won, instead of risking their lives at the hands of humans. Now, this is when I'm really going to object, because Nordstrom has some great sales. And now when you shut down the pipeline of those sales, like they have real good sales going on right now. When you shut, when you shut down that Nordstrom sale, leave the Nordstrom sale pipeline alone. I want the pipeline of sales. You screwed up their supply chain. I'm telling you, like they got some great deals right now on like some out-of-season stuff. Like you can get some stuff up to like 70% off. They're not advertising on the show, but hell they ought to after this point. I mean, the Nordstrom pipeline, but a Nordstrom pipeline.

Like if that- can you imagine like right to your house? Go ahead. Sorry. Human Strugglers. Human Strugglers. Not smugglers.

They're not human smugglers. They're human strugglers. Like aliens struggling to be human? No, I think they said they're human strugglers. Like struggling humans?

Yeah. Well, some days I struggle. Am I a human struggler?

Federally illegal to struggle humans. Yeah, what is a struggler? Like, is there any other type of human- like a lizard struggler? Like that lizard is struggling. Or look at that rhinoceros. That's a struggling rhinoc- it's a rhinoceros struggler. It's just struggling really badly. It's a drought or something.

I don't know, right? Big farmer. We went out into the fields and we beat their- I mean, I'm just- big farmer.

She's- well. Juan, do you have tyranny? Because we haven't- you know, tyranny is a serious thing. I'm sorry, what? KJP though, tyranny is- this is how she pronounces it.

We will continue to take actions to support Ukraine in their fight for freedom against tyranny. Tyranny. She's like my mom. My mom- don't tell her this. She just like- basic, everyday words. Sometimes I think it's on purpose. Just like a random, basic, everyday word.

She will take it and turn it inside out. And you're just- you're like, what? What? You put the wrong emphasis on the improper syllable. You have to put the emphasis on this syllable. That's like- I mean, she's not as bad as Jill Biden. She's not as bad as that. Or I have to actually stop and make myself say it wrong.

Bogada. But they have like a real problem with language in this administration. Tyranny. You know, like when you tie your shoes. Tyranny. It's a special knot.

So it doesn't come untied when you're running. So when they said they took on Big Farmer, what does that mean? I mean, kind of- well, let's look at it though. They kind of did look at food prices. They're trying to get you to not eat meat. We took on Big Farmer. The John Deere people. But Big Farmer, though, you literally mandated pharmaceuticals- a pharmaceutical. How is that taking them on? We demand that you give these people money. Like you bought them. You bought all kinds of pharmaceutical stuff for the Rona with taxpayer dollars.

You gave them billions of taxpayer dollars. How in the hell is that taking them on? I have never taken- is that the new definition of taking? Somebody take me on, damn.

Yes, come take me on. Give me some- this is when aha comes in. Give me some billions of dollars, please. This take on a Big Farmer brought to you by Pfizer. Yeah.

Pfizer taking on Big Farmer every day. Oh my gosh. I can't. I can't.

So that's- I mean, it's unintentionally honest, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. I just- this is one of my favorite sound bites so far. We're not even a full week into this year and I'm already like Big Farmer. Alright. Spinning Gs. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.