Absurd Truth: Another Bud Light Redemption?

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I got a couple of questions. First off, what is a gator nugget? What is it? Is that like a gator tendie? I think so.

I think it's like little cuts, bites the tail, like they just cut it in cubes and now it's a nugget. Huh. I hope it's not what I think it is. I originally thought it was.

Oh, I didn't go there but you did. Where the hell's the nugget? So this is why I ask. Here's the headline. Quote. This is a big one.

Alright, ready? Drunk Florida Man sexually molests manatee statue throws gator nuggets in the restaurant. Anthony Michael Less that was charged with a misdemeanor kind of disorderly intoxication disturbance, booked in jail. The 23 year old was witnessed by customers and staff at Rick's Reef in St. Petersburg. He was throwing gator nugget, gator nuggets around the restaurant and then he began, after he was became belligerent, he began performing sexual acts on the life-size manatee statue and it wears a little t-shirt.

The manatee statue does. And the criminal complaint does not provide further details of the alleged molestation. But yeah, so they arrested him. He was yelling obscenities in the parking lot when officers arrived at the scene. He was heavily intoxicated, had no clue as to why he was, you know, being arrested. No idea.

He was booked, misdemeanor count, released from jail the next morning, probably with a major headache. So there you have it. And I also now know what gator nuggets are. That manatee statue, why though? Our friends over at Hillsdale College want to wish you a Merry Christmas and thank you for all of your support for their amazing institution this past year. As you know, Hillsdale was founded in 1844 to offer the education needed to preserve civil and religious liberties and they hold true to that mission today. So their students are able to pursue their academic studies and engage in really robust and good will academic debate on all the issues that we're told to, you know, we have to we have to be brainwashed to discuss anymore today.

They teach critical thinking, not critical race theory at Hillsdale College. So they have a special video featuring their sacred music choir singing in a little town of Bethlehem. You can access that only at Dana4FORHillsdale.com.

It will definitely get you in the mood this Christmas season. And again, they just want to thank you for supporting their mission and you don't have to attend Hillsdale to take advantage of everything that they have to offer. When you go to Dana4Hillsdale.com where you can see their choir singing, you can also access a ton of free resources there. So you don't have to be on their college campuses to take advantage.

You can be anywhere in the world. Just access it at Dana4Hillsdale.com and check out all of those free resources to help you celebrate the season. That's Dana4FORHillsdale.com.

I saw this earlier today. So apparently Kid Rock is cool with Bud Light again. I don't dislike Kid Rock.

I dislike Bud Light. He is, according to the Washington Examiner, back on the Bud Light train wishing the brand nothing but the best following over eight months of criticism. He says, quote, I think they've got some work still to get, you know, some of the base that they lost. He said, I've said a few times I'd love to see them get Triple Freddy, hit it head-on, self-deprecation kind of, you know. So in the very beginning he shot up a whole bunch of Anheuser-Busch stuff and everybody was boycotting it and all of this stuff. Now Rock, he had said that he doesn't think that the punishment that they've received fits the crime anymore.

He says, I want to see people get back on board and become bigger because it's the America I want to live in. And he said, what would that say about us as like-minded people who are like, hey, cut it out. What's the matter with you?

There's nothing wrong with, you know, giving a spanking. Someone gets taught a lesson. They say we've made a mistake. Let's move on, etc.

We've done it for worse. Oh my gosh. Okay, so here's my problem with this.

Did Bud Light ever, ever, at the very least, I don't give a rat's ass who's been fired or not, did they at the very least ever say sorry to women for their cosplay promotion? What have I always said? This is real easy, y'all. What have I always said from the get-go? All they got to do is be like, ladies, we are sorry. We value you. You could even do a frat type of ad about it.

I didn't care. Be like, we value you. We love it when you do keg stands.

We love it when, you know, at our frat parties. We love, I mean, I don't even care. But I want acknowledgement. I don't want to just a bland, well, we made a mistake.

And this is not about, you know, scoring a point or anything. I want to know that they truly understand. And I want other brands to see that this brand truly understands why it was so offensive. I don't even like using that word. I don't like it when a brand makes me sound like a damn feminist. It's infuriating because we're not. But you, you participated in cosplay marketing.

You got spanked. And we're supposed to interpret time as a substitute for acknowledgement of offense and apology because I don't. Like I said, this is really easy. I don't even think that, and someone made the point, I don't even think they've acted contrite at all. They haven't even acted contrite. I don't owe you my forgiveness. I don't owe you any kind of moving on.

You know what? In order to move on, the person who made the transgression, the transgressor, they have to acknowledge what they did. You can't have reconciliation without someone going, oh yeah, I totally messed up in this way. I'm sorry that I did this. Time isn't a substitute for that. Don't sit, don't sit here and act like a big champion of the culture war if you're only in it until you, you know, for a certain, there's no shelf life on this. That's what makes me mad.

I mean, it'd be really easy for the brand to do this. Reconciliation requires acknowledgement. Otherwise, go do something unflattering to yourself because, no, duck my halls. It's not gonna happen.

I'm not gonna drink what I would wash my beer glasses in. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, we're not gonna sit here and move on. There's no moving on, and the moving on starts with acknowledging and saying, you know what, ladies, we offended you with our lack of chivalry.

We offended you by reducing who you are to cosplay and a cheap marketing stunt, and we're sorry that we did that. That's not difficult to do. Why is that so difficult?

Why is it so hard? What, because, because somebody might get paid, it's all okay now? Or because somebody gets paid, it's okay? Or someone gets a donation from this, it's okay?

I mean, don't sit here and act like you're a big fighter in the culture war if this is how it's going down. So I'm curious, like, how, at what point, you know, and I asked this on Twitter, and everyone's like, nope, they did not. They did not.

They did not say sorry, they didn't do this. Someone goes, were you ever a Bud Light drinker? B, I grew up with Bud Light. I lived two blocks from the brewery.

I saw the Clydesdales every damn day. I, my, I grew up with Ann Heiser Bush, okay? My family worked with Ann Heiser Bush.

Ann Heiser Bush products were in our cooler, on the porch, in the Ozarks, every Thanksgiving, every Christmas, every Easter, hallelujah. That's how it went. So if you're gonna have a phallus measuring contest, I will choke you to death on it. Don't. End scene.

Are you serious? I'm gonna have fun with that fellow on Twitter, so you can look for that later. Sorry, dude, but, you know, you're gonna be my dammit doll on this one.

You know how that is, Kane. Mm-hmm. Oh boy. So seriously, what's the answer here?

Yeah, what's the answer? Who cares whatever Kid Rock does? Well, no, I'm just like, at what point, not just him, it's some other people. Yeah, I think people, I think people will take it upon themselves to decide whether or not they are going to accept the current terms of so-and-so coming back. I know, yeah, I never even, what are even the terms? Well, he's like, he said their punishment already exceeded the crime.

Like what punishment? Oh, they lost the money? Yeah, the billions lost, the market cap lost, the months and months of boycotting, and he's, that's his decision, whatever.

So he's given up, he's raving the white flag of surrender. I'm not sure. That's how I'm looking at it.

He's been in the knee. That's how I'm looking at it. Yeah. Look, I like the guy. That's his thing, whatever. I couldn't care less what he does and never have.

Kane, we all know that you wake up every day and go, gosh, I wonder what Kid Rock did today. Might be jealous of that mullet. Does he have a mullet? I think he's got, he's got a party in the back.

He's got a couple motorcycles. He doesn't have a party in the back, I guess. Well, yeah, but isn't it also a party all over?

I don't know. He's always wearing a hat, I think. See, mullet, wait, hold up, sidebar. Look, we gotta clarify this. A mullet is strictly business up front. Right. In the back is the party. Right.

That's like AKA Missouri Compromise, AKA Camaro Crash Helmet, AKA Kentucky Waterfall. That's what that is. Business up front. So when you're looking at them straight on, you're like, well, hello, professional sir. Right.

And then they turn to the side and you're like, yeah, bro. That's the difference. Does that make sense?

It does to me. Yeah, I feel like we just gave a lesson there. That's a lesson.

You are graduated now. I'm not sure if I've ever seen, outside of, wasn't he in that one David Spade movie? I think he had a hat off in that movie, but I don't think I've seen him with his hat off in quite a while. Yeah, I haven't either.

Now that I have to think of it. He may have bangs, I don't even know. But yeah, it doesn't matter to me. I don't, I haven't, I haven't drank Bud Light or Budweiser in a while. Um, but it's not because I'm boycotting it or whatever.

So people can do whatever the hell they want. Kid Rock can do whatever the heck he wants. I think they're saying that when he shot up a bunch of cases of Bud Light, that people followed and there was a big boycott and that he was responding, you know, or the big part of being, you know, responsible for that. And now that he's back on board, that a bunch of people will just come right back on board with Bud Light.

And I don't think that's how it's going to go. Yeah. I mean, I'm telling this fellow, not only did I feed a Clydesdale once, but I shot all my bottle rockets out of empty bud bottles.

Degeneration X motion. So there you go. Did you hold the bottle a lot happened? Well, not if I wanted to do a bunch of them at a time. So, okay, hold up. There's like rules for, for bottle rocket war, right? Like you can light them and throw them at people.

True. I mean, I, can you tell I was very, my mother hovered over me as a child. But we would like to get, my uncle would always like, we could count on him to help us with our artillery. And we would line all the bottles up cause we had, I had so many cousins, we'd break up into two, we'd break up into two groups and we, it was just war. It was war.

People would get hurt and you just be like, you're not dead, shut up. Cause nobody wanted to get in trouble. So we would, and this is like in the eighties and nineties, so we would line up all the, my uncle would come over and at first he'd walk over very confidently and then his walk got lazier and stumble-ier as the evening went on and he'd give us another and he was a cantankerous dude. He'd give us an empty bottle and we'd line them all up and we'd, it, it was, because you know how sometimes you can't have a punk, like when they can't, when they, when we got the lighters that you could, they were long and you could press the trigger, the little trigger thing on and light it. That changed the game. That was a game changer.

That was like having, you know, that's the difference between having smooth bore and not. And so we would have all these things lined up in these bottles cause it's really hard to light all of them with these punks and you'd have to get all of us, like everybody on our side, we'd all have to be right there. Anyway, long story short, we'd light them up out of those bottles and it was just like an old timey war. Instead of arrows, it was bottle rockets. It was a beautiful thing. It's how we celebrated America by trying to kill each other. And now all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's quick five. All right, so first up, record US holiday air travel. Seven and a half million people are going to fly according to AAA. Does that mean we're going to see more fun videos of people having shenanigans on airplanes?

Just really curious about this. Is that, is that what that means? Because I mean to have that many people flying, whoo, uh, yeah, seven and a half million according to AAA. And they say that, uh, this goodness, it's like one of the busiest year in travel season since they began tracking the data all the way back in 2000. So they said from December 23rd to January 1st, that's like the crazy busy season. That even beats the pre-COVID record of 7.3 million seen during the same period in 2019.

Now they said that because they have more efficient airplanes, it doesn't mean like more jet fuel consumption, which I thought was interesting. A little, little thing in there. So yeah, going to be crazy, a record crazy busy, the craziest busiest in 23 years.

Just so you know, just so you know, so get to your, how you're doing early and all that stuff. Uh, and I don't know how this happens. An LAX passenger arrives on an international flight without a passport, a visa or ticket. There's a Russian dude too, who yeah, flew from Europe to LAX without a ticket, visa, passport. They have no idea how he does it.

I don't even know. Where did he go through if he went to, he, so apparently he evaded security in Copenhagen and then that's where his flight departed. He wasn't on the manifest. He wasn't on the passenger list of either flights.

That's wild. Uh, he did have some identification. He had like a partial photograph of a passport. He was a Russian dude and that's it. So they said he's, he's not in the CBP system either. They've never encountered him and they're still trying to, that's all the information is out there. They're still trying to figure that out.

Looks like you need to do a little bit better work out there, Copenhagen. How does that happen? Florida school district is adding four day weekends to combat chronic absences. So if there's no school, you can't count them as being absent. Isn't that a, well, how does that work?

I love the, the entrenched educational administration, administrative system. So they're just going to add a, add two days to the week. Maybe they're priming the kids for like the three or four day work weeks they've been talking about for the last couple of years. I just don't know.

Can I be honest? I don't know what people do with that much free time. What the hell do people do? I cannot sit still for the life of me. What the hell do people do? Nothing bores the hell out of me more than an entire stretch of a weekend day with nothing to do.

I will invent things to keep busy. I can't stand it. That's torture. My family hates me for it. They're like, Oh my gosh, sit down.

Can you just try? Two mystery ghost ships washed up on a beach and tourists started immediately climbing on them doing tourist things. Of course they did. Okay. For real though, would you do, would you do it too? You'd totally climb on them ships. I don't know. When I was younger, I probably would have.

I don't know. Like when I've been jet skiing out, there's an island in the Caribbean you can jet ski around and there's like an old rusted out ship. They tell you not to, I just, it looks like tetanus central. So that's why I stay away from it. But if it didn't look like tetanus central, I'd probably explore.

Be neat. Anyway, they said this other boat washed up in the same beach. Uh, it was sent out to rescue the first ship, suffered a technical problem. So now people are, it's a rest.

The vessel's resting away. And so there, it looks nasty. The first one looks totally tetanus-y and people keep running up and keep climbing all over it and y'all going to get hurt and it's going to be y'all's fault.

Nobody else's problem but yours. A squatter won a battle over a dead woman's home and sold it for a huge profit. This is a crazy story.

It's so bad in the UK. He took over this lady's home, a retiree. She passed away and he ended up selling it for like half a million dollars and cut the profits. How? No, no, no, no. We got a lot more on the way.

Stick with us. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of the United States. But we know this year's Hanukkah is different. It's been 65 years since the deadliest day of the Jewish people since the Holocaust.

65 years. Can he get a sentence right? An sentence. That's it. That's all we need. Just one.

65 years since the deadliest day of the Jewish people since the Holocaust. Okay. Yeah. Man, he confuses us. When I hear him talk, I'm like, are we also like having issues? So he meant days is what he meant, right? Did he? So we're, I think that's what he meant, right? We're 65 days since October 7.

I don't speak turd, dude. I don't know. I legit have no clue. I'm doing the math real quick and I think that's what it is. I think it's days.

He meant days, but he said years. There was also this audio soundbite too, for the love. This doesn't exist. I had cranial aneurysm. It was in the middle of a snowstorm. Not a joke. I couldn't figure out how for President Reagan was nice enough to send Air Force helicopter one, take me down, but it couldn't fly. There's no such thing as Air Force helicopter one. There is Marine one, but there's no such thing as Air Force helicopter one.

That's that. I mean, he flies on it, so he ought to know, right? I mean, if you're president of the United States and you get your own helicopter, you're going to remember the name of the helicopter.

You were going to, it's going to be, I've never even written on it. I've seen it only on TV. Oh no, I've seen it circle something when they took the president out from speaking somewhere in DC. I mean, it's your, it's your own chopper. Marine one.

You remember the name and Marine one sounds way cooler than Air Force helicopter one. The only time that they ever had anything jokingly named like that was Reagan's writing lawnmower that he had at Rancho Del Cielo. They called it a lawnmower one and they put a giant presidential seal sticker secret service did on him because they thought it was hysterical. And when he was at, that was one of the funniest things because he legitimately was like a ranch guy. Like he did the work. He didn't have a hobby ranch where he just wanted to, you know, have other people do his work. He legit went, he built his own patio furniture. He laid the stone. He built, put up all the fencing.

He did all of that, dug his own pond. And the only time that they intervened, that secret service was like, wait, wait, wait, hold up, stop it. Was the wood chipper. So he was taking all of his stuff, you know, when he was cutting down trees and doing all this and he's putting the wood chipper and it freaked those dudes out. And they said under no circumstances, and the people there said that was the only time that they actually got, you know, they, they, cause they let him, you know, he was very capable, but they're like, no, no, no, we got to draw the line here, dude. We cannot have the president of the United States like accidentally fallen in the wood chipper. Stay away from it. So not Fargo state.

Well, this before Fargo, stay away from it. So that was the only time that was the only thing he couldn't do. So other people had to do, he had to have like other people do it for him cause they wouldn't allow him to do it, but he would take his horse and he'd ride it like all over that mountain, Santa Ines mountains. He'd ride it all over. And there was only a couple of guys.

One guy actually, he was a good English writer who could keep up with him cause he was not, he just like wrote everywhere. And you gotta be honestly, you gotta be careful out there when you're on some of these trails. Cause you, I mean, you look to your right and there's like a 60 foot cliff. I mean, it's, it, I'm not joking. It's really like that. They offered to let me drive the Hummer one time up there on these little tiny roads where you're basically, it's carved into a cliff.

And I, I remember I looked at one of these guys, I'm like, I can tell that you're not active anymore because you just offered to let me, a woman who drives like a bat out of hell, drive the presidential Humvee here on a tiny road where this damn thing barely fits. We will go tumbling off this cliff side. Is that what you want?

Is that what you want? They're like, on second thought, I'm like, this is what I thought. So I'm like, as much as I would love to, I will totally yeet us off a cliff, inadvertently. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.