Absurd Truth: Mice, Guns & Squirrels?

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Man, what do people try to do?

What do you think is going to happen here? All right, so a Florida Man tried to dump fentanyl down the drain during a drug bust, say deputies. Daytona Beach. A man was arrested after he attempted to dispose of fentanyl down his kitchen sink during the execution of a search warrant when Volusia County deputies arrived at the home. They found 42-year-old Eddie Shine. There's a drug dealer's name if ever I heard one. Eddie Shine trying to throw fentanyl down a sink. They've been investigating him for several months now and they said he's involved for drug sales throughout the southeast Volusia County area. During the warrant execution, they found 38 grams of fentanyl, powdered fentanyl in a kitchen cabinet and along with fentanyl and a separate fentanyl and water. That was in the kitchen sink plumbing. He was charged with trafficking fentanyl, renting a structure for trafficking fentanyl, destruction of said fentanyl because it's evidence, resisting arrest without violence and possession of drug paraphernalia.

His bond is over two and a half million dollars. Dang. What did you think you were going to do?

That they weren't going to find you trying to stuff that down the sink? Good grief. I have one of the grossest headlines that I'm not going to read here because it had to do with a guy in a public causeway being engaging in voyeuristic activities. Oh boy. Yeah, so we're going to go past that one. Thank you. Oh, and I, okay, let me do this one. There's a, just let me let you know there's a lot in old naked Florida man headlines.

Just can say there's like an inordinate amount of them right now. A 68 year old Florida man got naked in Naples. That's a horrible, horrible hallmark movie. Threw his clothes into the bay and then led police in a pursuit and then ran into an empty, ran into a restaurant, sat down naked at an empty table, then let ran out of the restaurant, ran down the street and then he finally got caught. He was busy.

Stephen Grant Campbell. This sounds like a toddler avoiding a bag. This is what this sounds like, doesn't it? Except he's an old man and it's gross. He threw all his shoes and his clothes into Naples Bay. Officers saw it happen and they're like, stop Florida man, stop. And he's like, no. So he ran to Bistro 821, took his seat all naked at an empty table.

Ew. They washed that chair. They sent a witness as he literally, and then he didn't stop at the restaurant. He ran down the street where he paused briefly to expose himself to everybody at Fifth Avenue and 11th Street South. And then he kept running and then they, the law finally caught up with him and he was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and cited for littering. I guess that's the clothes in the bay, the littering. Oh my gosh.

I just, dude, I don't know. There's a Florida man with all gas, no brakes tattoo who was arrested after, guess what? Losing control of the car. I know, that's real shocking. Yeah, Polk County, Florida, a man and a woman were arrested early yesterday morning. They were running from police, they crashed their car. Timothy Allen Hogue and Rebecca Kozub are suspects in a string of car burglaries. They were spotted in a small residential, they plowed right into this other vehicle. I mean, full speed.

That's insane. They were spotted by deputies, they went off at a high rate of speed, then they crashed right into a parked car. They had to be pulled from the wreck. But yeah, they, the guy had the, on his neck, it was a neck tap right in the front.

All gas, no brakes. They're totally in jail. As one might imagine, they're in jail. Let's see, this is a different fentanyl story. A Florida man was found with enough fentanyl to kill 60,000 people.

This is insane. The 60,000. That's because it's like how many grams? There's like, I mean, I don't even this is a thousand grams. This guy had this guy had 1000 fentanyl pills.

Esteban Perez Jr. He got pulled over over the weekend, he failed to stop when he turned into a robe. And as they were conducting the traffic stop, they're like, why do you smell like a, you know, a bunch of pot plants all at once. And Collier County said that they conducted a search, they found 987 fentanyl pills plus meth, synthetic cannabinoid, and all kinds of narcotic paraphernalia. Oh my gosh, he's totally in jail. Totally in jail.

And his bonds real high too. As we move our partners over at Kel-Tec, the P-15. I have this, this is one of the best nine millimeters out there.

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Tell them Dana sent you. I got to share with you because I didn't even know they were doing this. I didn't know this was an area of stuff. This is a little stuff that they spend our money on. So they have the EPA. And I learned how to hate the EPA from Ghostbusters. A lot of people have stolen that from me. I stole it from the Ghostbusters.

No, I learned how to hate the EPA from the Ghostbusters. So they have been using tax payers. They've been using the P-15. They use $100 to fire 9 millimeters and M4s and have mice breathe the gun smoke to study the pulmonary toxicity of particulate matter emitted from firearms. Kane, you're look. What is it, Kane? it came again they'll find any angle they can any angle they can whether if it's on environment or taking away your Second Amendment rights they're just combining this they're trying to make guns still a public health issue that's what they're trying to do this is check this out they have the description quote we collected smoke particulate matter from the firing of two different type guns nine-millimeter handgun and m4 rifle the particulate matter samples were chemically analyzed and assessed for lung toxicity and lung function in cd1 mice via aura finagle aspiration so they breed then this stuff and what y'all determine you morons that's what they're doing they're using text I want to know how much tags white coast waste project that that found it I'm terrified to look at their website cuz I'm gonna get so mad I just don't even want to look at it but they look it's animal testing they look at how much you know how much is tested on animal testing and I'm not big on yeah well this I gotta tell you a story oh my gosh I can't even believe I got this far into the show and I didn't even tell you this I I'm not big on animal testing I have a I don't I don't really want to go down this road but um I don't I feel like that we should do if we're gonna test anything on anybody it should be on like rapists and child molesters and violent serial killers and we should use them as human lab rats I'm not kidding that's what I firmly believe anyway so I'm not all I'm not so much on testing on animals but yeah that's what we're spending money to make this to make firearms a they're desperately trying to make it a health issue desperately trying to make this a health issue okay can I tell you this story what happened yesterday it's not on the rundown and I wasn't would you talk about it so we're because you guys know I I feel like all animals love me and whenever I'm in nature I feel like Snow White except like if I'm out for summer sausage then look out because I'm hungry and I want I mean I don't have any I don't have no summer sausage right now this year I was like somebody better get up out in the woods and fix it and I told my husband at one point because I just haven't had I've been like hunting twice literally in my life my husband and son I'm gone and they haven't they haven't been able to go out this year I know and I'm like I'm just and I was just musing out loud I wasn't seeing this as a serious thing and I told my husband I'm like oh my gosh I just wish I could go get some fun to son he's like yeah it's the woods like I know that smart aleck anyway long story short my son was outside and we unlike getting ready because I host a Christmas party right for we have our radio people that come out and you know I host a Christmas party and getting ready for the party and getting things set up and I just don't have time for a lot right now and my son is standing on the porch and my other son who's home from college is looking outside he's like he's got an animal and my first thought was oh yeah a fun new friend I'm so excited you know I'm like a free pet and I opened the door and he's got this squirrel in his hand and he's got he's holding the squirrels like neck and it's like leg it's back I have no idea why I tracked animals with gimpy legs but I do and it's back leg was like all gimpy and I'm gesticulating for those of you listening and a parent and it was weird and it it was like jerky I feel like it had a neurological thing happening it was I think it was clearly dying and my son was like what are we gonna do and I'm like what are we gonna do what are you gonna like gosh I don't know what to do it was very cute but I also know that it's a tree rat and they have really sharp teeth and so I'm like well good grief and my husband was just not into it he was already like at the end he was short-tempered that day yesterday and displeased and short-tempered and so we're dealing with this issue and he's like you know we hunt these damn things and I'm like I don't know what to do like you know he feels like he rescued the squirrel I don't know and so I call animal control and animal controls like oh yeah I'm like look I realized that you know I come from the Ozarks we we eat these things they literally had an uncle that experimented with his brand-new dehydrator that he was super excited to get and made squirrel jerky which was basically that cracklins from I'm not joking you it was basically like cracklins from Long John Silver's but I digress I'm like I I just don't know what the hell to do here and I'm like do I shoot it I you know I can't really you know I I got a 22 I can plink it right between that I'm like what do I do and they're like oh well hey they gave me the number of this nature habitat thing like we need more squirrels out there and they gave me the number of this very sweet lady who had the most amazing Texas drawl that I've ever heard and she lived like an hour away from me and I'm and that's when that's when the you know the truth saw the light I'm like look I ain't driving an hour one way in rush hour traffic when I'm trying to do all before the squirrel that's totally gonna die because I was looking at it it was just all herky-jerky and weird and it was totally dead I'm like I'm not gonna do it so I'm like you know son you got it I mean I I can put this thing out of its misery old-school style you know we ended up I didn't get to do that it went on it went on a lake trip I would nobody put it in the lake it just you know was put back into nature because there was nothing we could do and we were the lady was like oh my gosh whatever you do just get it out of his hands because if it comes out of shock I don't think I think it was like dying I don't think there was anything that you could do because I've seen I've had I have animal loving family members that have rehabilitated squirrels this one looked so far gone I mean it just didn't look right something was seriously wrong was like a neurological thing it couldn't jump it couldn't walk straight it was just so messed up and I mean I don't know it was it was sad then I was all depressed and I'm like oh my gosh like did I not do enough for the squirrel you know then the little good angel comes on my shoulder the one I usually beat down ended like deep into my soul and the good angel appeared was like you know Dana you should feel you know you should have this girl and I started feeling bad about it and then my son was like you know you because we do we donate a lot to animal to shelters and all this stuff again it's not stuff that I talked about because this mad book of Matthew we do we support a lot of shelters pay a lot of vet bills for shelters and all this stuff and they're like so it's what my son was like so it's one squirrel you know and and this squirrel a pretty bad mom and he's like and look at you know we've taken care of Rocco and look at all the other stuff we do and we've taken care of a scorpion and I guess we did so I don't know I feel okay but there's still part of me that was like I the snow white part of me that was like I'll take care of you little squirrel I'll be your friend squirrel see those like that so thoughts came when I was younger I'd you know find baby squirrels and you want to do the little feed him you know with the bottle no I never did that oh yeah no I did that as a kid because we lived in a neighborhood where that's all we had we're just nothing but tree rats in the back and there was baby one tree carp but the baby ones that would you fall out of the tree or whatever yeah well those if they're like yeah I remember taking care of a couple of them as a kid but I caught a field mouse once and brought it in my house it started it when I was you've seen the videos though of some squirrels going just nuts like yeah that's that one the lady I was on the phone with called lover she was like now you need to get that out of his hands because that it will chew through the bowl no and she is like so loud and her voice is I cannot do a Texas draw to save my life it's so much different from like a regular southern accent and I I mean she was like very adamant about it I'm like ah and I can only imagine like us driving to take this damn squirrel in and it's it's I put it in a box with a blanket and I just shut it I didn't know what else to do I'm like um and I'm like I can just imagine us one hour in rush hour and this thing gets out and a box is shaking and it's everything's going to hell I can only imagine didn't go down that way no and my husband the entire time is looking at me like a man watches his wife not back into a parking space with the same level of frustration and just disappointment that not back into a parking space yeah okay not yeah well we're trying to you know like if you I just regularly pull in and I cannot do that to save my life I can anyway so and he was just like we eat these I'm like we don't you do we don't so oh my gosh and it's true like my grandpa would go squirrel and all the time because we have you had squirrel yes I've had squirrel I've eaten everything fox tail squirrel I mean I've eaten Gator I've eaten squirrel I've eaten everything I mean I don't know if there's anything that I haven't the only thing I won't do though is the snail stuff oh that's cargo that's like boogers that's like boogers that's a vehicle for butter that's all it is it's yeah it's like I've been sick I don't want it as a feature entree or appetizer you know I don't know I'm sorry if I just ruined your meal tonight but it's true anyway so that's my story and I don't know why I thought of that with this because the animal testing thing that's why but I just now I'm but I still feel bad I'm like I'll take care of you squirrel I still there's a part of me that's like did you do did you I just that's in my head and I want to punch it that voice so bad I want to take my good angel and just pummel her right now I don't know I feel like I did everything I could have right I want to isolate that audio I just want to punch my good angel but I mean I don't know and it was and and my son my oldest son is also like he's like goes out nature loves him nature's like yay like he goes out and all the hard shots I could be something becomes super easy to him it's like he has aim assist on I don't know it's weird it's so like how are you like this shots that nobody else makes he's like pop I don't get it all right we gotta get moving and now all of the news you would probably miss it's time for Dana's quick five terrifying so this apparently took place in Rome where a lion got loose people were even told to shelter in place because I mean it's a lion caused terror prowled the streets freely it escaped from the circus and it yeah it was it was a town near Rome caused terror amongst all the residents they had footage all over social media showing this lion wandering around the streets of the small town it has just a population of just over 40,000 and everyone said that they were told to shelter inside as authorities a lion yeah I'd be like free like a free lion you may get a lion fighters keepers mammy we think you have that no no this is my lion hmm it's not the line you're looking for it's just mine I don't know what I do with it just to have one I feel like I'm Snow White like I want all the animals they're all mine mmm this is a terrifying article this came out this story here it showed that more than 100 veterans died more than 100 veterans died at a New York home after one of the worst COVID outbreaks in the state and they said that apparently weren't was uh anybody know where Anthony Cuomo is anybody know where Cuomo is everybody's looking for him there's a housing facility in New York City they had an outbreak apparently and it was the New York State veterans home in st. Albans and they said that all of these are already super critically ill veterans so they were already way super immunocompromised they were all incredibly LD elderly but apparently they weren't even given any treatment no one even took him to the hospital nothing they just let him oh boy Wow there's I just gonna say a word that rhymes with small suit let's see here humans apparently have a third set of teeth popular mechanic says that there might be medicine to help them grow why why why would you want them to grow what that's terrifying it was a 2021 study out of Japan they said you can target genes to regrow teeth and animals now they're trying to do it they're doing clinical trials and how to do this and humans they said that you know it's what makes sharks so intriguing because they could just grow teeth regrow teeth so they're doing a clinical trial of medicine which they hope will be available for general use in 2030 to regrow teeth that would only work for people like Hunter Biden maybe I don't know the stores are snubbing Black Friday's and mega sales apples Apple Tiffany's others are deciding to not participate they're they're they're snubbing the Black Friday stuff and FedEx accidentally delivered $20,000 in lottery tickets to a woman's house you tell you what if you consider yourself a patriot right you're a patriot you should be drinking gallons of Bud Light believe me when I tell you wait wait wait I should be going hot I should be boycotting Bud Light gallons of Bud Light you should have Bud Light drums stacked up in your garage and drinking it right out of the keg they are way more aligned with you than most of these other beer companies are that I guarantee you really somebody who's in the know who does business with beer companies you are way more aligned with Bud Light than you are with so I'm any other beer company I mean they didn't come into partnership with you by accident no we had multiple bidders take you out we had multiple bidders on the table they were one of them and as I you know history has shown me with relationships that I've had with so he says no I know I don't like I don't just like Dana White and I watch UFC I get into it more for the drama and you know the people's story because I'm a chick so that's you know that's what I follow my husband's all about I love the art of the fight I'm like whatever I don't even know what he did here he's rolled around and got him in his leg I don't look great I just love the story and the family that's cheering them on you know and anyway but we talked about this a little earlier because I think you know I've seen a lot of white flags of surrender in my time that never have I seen one with so many zeros on it before be waving in the air I mean that was something else that's not winning the culture war by the way can I also ask how is it patriotic to drink a foreign company's crappy beer that's a new measure that I haven't heard before welcome back to the program Dana lash here with you at the bottom of this third hour so there's a beer company out there maybe you've heard of them they are an American beer company I dare say that it is patriotic to drink this beer in fact I would wager you that if back during the day at King Street the King Street Patriots Paul Revere and the members of the committees of correspondence if they had gathered around the table to pound their fists on the wood talking about overthrowing King George and they were drinking ale it would have been this ale and if you could transport it back in time they would have said throw all that commie swill aside give us some ultra right and because really beer helped make America joining us right now is that's very that's a commercial right there is Seth weathers he's I mean this is his baby he created ultra right beer you also know him as conservative dad but Seth weathers and you can find ultra right beer calm and it's a great tasting beer I drink it are we're doing operation pawpaw this Christmas because we're getting my stepdad to switch to exclusively ultra right that kicks off on the 23rd of this month Seth joins us on the show via Skype now so I wanted to get set and we're gonna talk about the calendar and all of that but here's my question to you how is it patriotic how do you measure patriotism by how much crappy foreign beer you drink you know I like Dana White but I was not a big fan of that segment but I will say this for 105 million dollars god knows what you could get me to say so I think that maybe what happened there I think everybody can be bought I've maintained this like I've told everybody what my price tag is selective immortality and a Hogwarts castle I've been very open about this those things hell I'll talk about your beer too I mean it's a hundred and five million dollars but they've never apologized and and and that's what I use that beer to wash the steins that I use for ultra right so I'm just curious like would you I mean what do you make about and that's kind of what it is I mean it there was never any kind of you know rectifying that and I do think it's important because beer is very American this is very American thing and I'm not joking when I say our country was founded on it I agree it was and the thing is conserved I was I was so proud of conservatives for sticking to a boycott for once because we never do we've always always skipped a few football games when they took a dump on us we've done this we've done that but we've never followed through and this was the one time we were following through it look I think the vast majority Americans are following through because the vast majority of Americans did not read receive a hundred and five million dollars to say something nice about them and so I think that I think the boycott holds I think they're doing they're throwing a lot of money to try to end it but I think the boycott will hold for most Americans yeah I think so too now I a lot of people are just they're just they're not sold and I like the fact I made this comment earlier I love the fact that there were a lot of alpha dudes out there that stood up and said we don't like the way that you're treating our ladies by having this dude cosplay as a chick I appreciated that because I feel like feminism third-wave feminism has been so insane for the past like 15 years that it's really been a lot of the pushback has been women led and we're kind of tired about this I've always joked I'm like my husband can't hit a chick but I can you know and I feel like it has really been female led and we're tired of it like we're tired of that that whole thing so it was nice to see a lot of dudes stand up and say we do not appreciate that because let's be real if this is a dude driven market that dudes yeah this is the beer that they a lot of them would drink although I have a family member who says that really it's really women who drink that beer but that being said you know with this what do you think about it where are they gonna go like what are what are men what are people looking for in beer like what's the you know what are they obviously taste but I think there's more to it than that you gotta have great beer but for the longest time beer was about fun fast cars beautiful women and great page patriotism and we've lost that look at the commercials they're making now these companies are unrecognizable for what they were in the 80s and 90s it would have been considered controversial you know and that's kind of you know people were trying to make ours out like there's some of our commercials and stuff are controversial but like it's really not that controversial if you just believe kind of some basic things like you know chicks without you know I don't know what I can say on here oh you can guess yeah go right up to the one yeah chicks without dicks that's kind of our you know that's where ours are here at all right beer I encourage that so that's on me I you know I wanted to say it for forever so he did so I'm glad he did talking to Seth Weathers who's the head of ultra right beer and you've kind of went into that because I I was you know in the beginning I've always said I you know all that company has to do is apologize but I want to see more I want to see more nostalgic old-school type marketing with this because I think that women have their things that are marketed to them in a certain way and dudes have things that are marketed to them in a certain way so to that effect let's talk about the calendar because you did a calendar and there are swimsuit shots in it and I'm glad that there are now I'm not saying I'm in one because I got two boys and you know they're on the internet and they see everything but I like the fact that I'm in a calendar like this and I like the fact that there are women who do swimsuit calendars for beers because I think we need I want more of the tawny contain on the hood of the car in a white snake video selling stuff talk to me about this I think that's a great idea and that's why we did it so yes we do have conservative dads real women that's Riley Gaines that's on the cover that's Riley on the cover I hear September's pretty solid though you should check out September I've heard September which is as we all know the best best month of the year I heard that September right pretty fantastic yeah I agree it's got some gunplay action there yes I heard so where did you get the idea tell me about how this came to fruition you know I think it kind of just goes back well I don't know why I'm gonna go here but I'm going to so Sports Illustrated started putting out calendars and magazines with fat chicks and bikinis and I was like this is the destruction America's happening right before our eyes and I was like someone's got to do something about it and who better to do something about it than conservative as ultra right beer so you're not gonna have that chicks and bikinis in our calendar sorry not sorry no yeah I know it's a not sorry but yes they were getting back to just the basics of what these beer companies were and now it's controversial I don't understand how in the world is controversial it's like that's like when Victoria's Secret started having oh my gosh so like in our town square there was a giant ad in the window and this I'm not saying like this was somebody who was like a little tubby I'm talking about like morally obese like yeah I think that you probably would not have been able to see the panties because everything that hung over and it was a giant ad in the window and I almost like I had to stop in the middle of the street I'm like is what am I seeing here this is the lady I don't know I don't mean to do it but you're healthy at any size no you're not right yeah no you're not some people are more prone to drop dead because they're a little they're not healthy I mean that's the whole thing correct it's like embracing or trying to celebrate unhealthiness no one is saying that you got to be a size zero but you don't have to be a size like triple aught difference right we've just reached a stupid place in our world and so I think that you're certainly as ultra right we're trying to battle back against some of the stupid things we see in the world and that's what we're doing with our marketing with our product with everything out and by the way a lot of that so a portion of the proceeds of this actually goes to the Riley Gaines Center which combats men and women's sports yes and incredible job on that and yeah I think we've raised close to $20,000 for already on this calendar and we're hoping to raise a whole bunch more and that's fantastic I love the do gooder aspect of it because that's great but oh but really selfishly I like the fact that I'm in this calendar and I like that you're celebrating women who are like no like you know they're healthy women yeah exactly we're not celebrating you know unhealthy that's I mean because I feel like it is it's like reverse body shaming the way that they do it correct so how do people first off how do people get this calendar because I've already had people saying can you just send me one I'm like yeah it's not really how it works conservative dad.com okay pull it right up and I will send you plenty of them oh yeah you can give them out Christmas gifts whatever it's a Christmas gift yes it does make a good Christmas gift I just remember every dude I knew all my male cousins I have like 23 cousins and most of them are dudes they all had like growing up they all had like it's always like the the the female posters or the Sports Illustrated calendar they take it out of the Sports Illustrated Edition they put everybody had that and there's nothing wrong with everybody had that it's normal there's something wrong with them now they're a little rough I hate to say you're not gonna want to look at you're gonna go back and you're gonna lose those childhood memories real quick so tell me about these girls ate those girls sorry no actually that's a great tell me where can people get the beer because I know that you're expanding distribution so talk to me about if people are like I want to get a six or of ultra right where do I go so we're in multiple states right now like in stores in your package stores that kind of thing we're talking with some of the good size brochures chains as well but if you're not in one of the states rent you can go to ultra right beer calm and we can ship to most states Merry Christmas to you all ho ho ho get you some old and ship to most states get some ultra right beer well conservative dad calm that's where you can get the calendar I highly suggest you all cuz I've heard just one more time I've heard Kane you're unaware of this September's like that is really I have one with me believe it or not yes guns blazing look at it I had no idea that that was going to be September I was just speaking about the month of September innocently you could celebrate your entire birthday month well I do have a birthday month he mentioned wanting September while holding two guns oh yeah I was like my birthday's in September and I'm holding two of my ar-15s I'm like my birthday's in September Seth and he's like oh so I guess you want September huh like I don't know just a thought so anyway this is thank you for including me in it that's it's a I'm very flattered and the photos are beautiful I mean they're very very tastefully done obviously Riley Gaines is in the swimsuit she's like the one that I would be like yes she needs to be on the cover in the swimsuit she's like made of a thousand percent muscle but this is fantastic ultra right beer calm and conservative dad calm is where you can get the ring at the calendar get ultra right beer I like it and I I mean I like I mean I do drink it you send us beer and I've been drinking it it's a great beer we need to get distribution we need to get distribution into the state of Texas physically in stores we're working on that so hopefully it'll be who can I go aggravate about that is there like a beer on a stir of beer that I can go I'm telling you really level of corruption and nonsense that goes on with the alcohol industry it's a 4.8% alcohol and they treat us like we're making nuclear weapon okay it's really unbelievable you have to get balls hog is balls hogs approval to get in stores in each state that's literally a thing we have to deal with it's wild with the distributor that's like a whole other story we're gonna have to talk about that another yes it would blow your mind you lose your mind I won't lose my mind over that cut that and say correct save that forever the weather's ultra right fear calm conservative dad calm always so great to talk with you thank you so much for doing those for including me and online too so people can get those calendars make sure you get them get your beer all that good stuff thanks Seth Merry Christmas to you thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast if you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts