Absurd Truth: Super Bowl Recap

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so first up here, A, let's see which is we're talking about police getting injured. Florida Man was drunk and refused to leave a restaurant and injured an officer.

Because of course he did. This is a passcode news. If I can get this story to come up. This guy named Joshua Vallejo faces charge. He hit a warrant out, but he refused to leave a restaurant. Got into a fight.

Did not leave peacefully when officers arrived to detain him. I'm like bored with this story already. I immediately want to get to the one from the Villages. I got a Villages one. It's a Villagers. I'm trying to figure out, so this guy's 45 years old. You're not old enough to be, he's not old enough to be in the Villages, right? The guy that we're talking about is 45 years old. His mugshot says 60?

I don't know. But this Florida Man has been sentenced because of a golf cart crash. This 45 year old guy, I thought you had to be 50 or older to live there. This 45 year old guy pled no contest in Sumner County. He had drugs and he was driving under the influence. He lost his driver's license for six months. He has to do 50 hours of community service.

His charge possession of a controlled substance was dropped in exchange for his plea. He was driving a black 2016 Yamaha two seater. He lost control of the, it says vehicle, it's a golf cart.

It jumped a curb and hit a pickup. And apparently he had been drinking. He had a vape pen, which tested positive for THC. Oh, but my favorite is what he was drinking. What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the best. The affidavit notes that the Florida Man was also in possession of a jar of Old Smokey's moonshine. Old Smokey's moonshine. I, what flavor was it? It doesn't say.

It doesn't say. I mean, there's like all kinds. I mean, you can get like, what is it? It's from Tennessee. It's a Tennessee moonshine.

They have, can I just say they should, they literally have a cookie dough one. That seems to me gross. I gotta say that seems nasty. A cookie dough moonshine? I don't know. I had a banana pudding one moonshine. Now I get the chocolate and fresh strawberries one. But cookie dough, like when I'm having cookie dough, the last thing I want is liquor with it, right?

I don't know. But they got banana moonshine. They got, I mean, apple pie really is like as far as I'll go with a baked good moonshine. I mean, I'm from Missouri. It's literally enshrined in our constitution that we can make moonshine. I'm not even exaggerating to you.

It actually is. Anyway, so he had himself some Old Smokey's. The article does not say what flavor of the Old Smokey's it is.

He failed all his sobriety exercises and he was had a 1.67 blood alcohol content. When our partners for this portion of our program, it's our friends over at Kel-Tec, the Sub 2K Gen 3, awesome firearm. You got to check it out if you haven't. Kel-Tec makes a lot of really cool stuff.

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Tell them Dana sent you. I don't, I'm not even going to pretend for clicks that I like football or even know what's happening. I just don't. It was the Chiefs versus the San Francisco 49ers.

You had Needles and Feces versus Taylor Swift squad, right? Right. Okay.

Steve, you were wanting the Chiefs, right? Okay. Oh, that's why. It wasn't because you were super.

I thought he was a super fan. Okay, there was money involved. I don't care. I just didn't care.

I was like, I like their gold pants. That's about it. And I did watch that one point though. Oh, and I watched the ads.

The ads were the big thing. I did watch that one point where, what's his face, Kelsey ran up to that old man coach and like checked him. What was that about? What was that whole issue about? And is that unusual for that kind of sort of, or because everyone's like, is that a red flag?

Is that a red flag? Can we even talk about, we have to say the big game. Can I even say the name of the damn football game or are we going to get sued by the NFL? We're past it now. So yeah, no, you're okay. Oh, okay. Past it now. Okay. Yeah. You guys don't know that. Like leading up to it, Kane, you can't say it, can you? No, you have to say superb owl. That's right.

You cannot actually say Superbowl leading up to the game. We get sued. That's an actual thing. I'm not joking. How stupid is that? Anyway. Uh, yeah. So Kelsey ran up to this guy, scared him.

He was mad about something and it turned into a million memes. This is how I feel. I feel like the coach and I feel like those are all the Bud Light apologists trying to get into my fan about their pee baby beer. That's what it feels like. Right?

So let's, so that was the Kelsey thing that happened once. Good enough for the simulcast that happened. Is that normal for that? I think we're looking at faxed and triple boosted rage.

That's what it looks like. You got the Moderna. I told you to get the Pfizer. You probably got the Pfizer too.

Got the Moderna booster. What is his official position? Clock shot.

That's his position on the football team. Okay. Yeah, that's right. So I was more interested in the ads. Can we talk about the ads first and foremost? So there was one ad that ran and at first you see it because they were talking about Jesus, right? What was it? It was like a servant ad. It was supposed to be like, oh, he's washing everybody's feet, etc, etc. And I saw it and I was like, whoa, wait a minute.

This looks like it might be kind of interesting. Is this going to be an actual Christian ad? Oh, interesting.

Okay, all right. And I was completely disappointed, like five seconds into it because it was called He Gets Us. That's the people who did the ad. And it shows, you know, it starts out innocuously enough. And the ad starts out with, you know, these everybody washing people's feet, right? Except it was done not as a way of servitude.

It was done to signify an affirmation of sin. And that's the biggest difference that I think a lot of people are missing with this. Because they have like, for instance, literally outside of a Planned Parenthood. Oh, but they say family planning clinic. And it's a young girl and it's another woman washing her feet, right? And we all know that that's Planned Parenthood.

Come on. Let's not get into the semantics of it here. But it has like a Jewish person washing like a Hamas person's feet and all this other stuff. And it's ridiculous. And they're like, Oh, love your neighbor. Okay, well, you're promoting a leftist political message by blasphemously confusing servitude with affirmation.

There's a huge difference here. And I would I expect that from a miles wide inches deep fake blasphemous Christian organization. That is He Gets Us because it's exactly what it is. I know a lot of people complain about Joel Osteen. But this is like everything that is wrong with the some of the narrative that he preaches on steroids.

This is crazy. So it has affirmation of sin like, Oh, we're sitting outside a family clinic. We're sitting outside all of is that important? Or should we?

Okay. We're here. We're sitting outside of a family planning clinic.

We're sitting outside all this stuff. That's it's an affirmation of sin is what it is. So it's, I mean, that I mean, they and they had it. How much money do these Super Bowl ads go for?

Like, what is it like seven to $10 million? Something like that. So it's, there's a difference. There's a huge difference between, oh, I'm serving someone to, oh, I'm affirming your sin because they act like passing judgment, or having an opinion on something is sinful. Like, oh, look, you shouldn't be judging this person who's getting ready to walk into Planned Parenthood, when we know statistically that it's older women who already have a child and thus know where babies come from. And they're doing it as a form of birth control.

And this is according to Planned Parenthood's own statistics, that and this is the organization pushing for taxpayer funded abortion on demand. Yes, we you're not supposed to pass judgment on this person going in here. That's the message of this whole the whole ad thing. So at first when I was when I saw it, I thought, oh, gosh, a Jesus ad.

And then I started seeing some of the images that they were throwing up there. It was definitely a leftist political message. I thought they were saying that they weren't going to do anything controversial for their their Super Bowl ads.

I thought they said that they weren't going to do anything controversial for the ads. So that seemed kind of controversial. And it was I, I mentioned this on social media, and some people were like, Oh, I thought it was a good point that some made like, it's not buddy Jesus.

Okay. Like Jesus came with, you know, certain rules and stuff. They the only way through him that it's not buddy Jesus. I mean, they leave out the your go forth and sin no more they they they omit that. I mean, the idea that you're supposed to affirm the sin, and that's the same thing as loving the sinner is absolutely blasphemous. So I was I mean, I get really disappointed in these fake groups like this, because that's the thing. I mean, that is so devilish to to present a counterfeit message, so as to pervert the meaning of Scripture.

And that's exactly what this is that whole he gets this organization is a is a with all the talk. Look, I saw a lot of people that get a little fringe say no, there were those people in Taylor Swift's box were throwing up satanic hand symbols for all the talk of those people obsessing over what they thought was satanic or not in that box. That was the most satanic thing that I saw on television last night was that he gets us ad. So we also had there was speaking of ads, how many ads from Chinese companies were there?

Something like seven or nine. I can't remember there were a lot of them. There was there was the tick tock where there were a whole bunch of different ads from Chinese companies. Then there was a Pfizer ad. They had a Pfizer ad. Then they had a dove commercial where they were talking about empowering women, which I thought was funny, because they were the ones who backed that Laurel Hubbard dude who was the weightlifter who wanted to cosplay as a woman and edge out women on competitive teams and dove had backed him.

So I thought that was kind of interesting that devs like trying to retcon their history. The ads were I did not think they they fulfill their promise of not being controversial because they were still pressing the issue. Then the halftime show happened. I think the halftime show is it was very 90s right late 90s early aughts a very late 90s early aughts thing. And they had her sure he performed. Did you watch a halftime show came were you into it? Yeah, I saw that I was it was nostalgic.

It's good. I'll give him props for performing while singing live. Because a lot of people rely too much on on backing tracks. And he had he had really minimal backing tracks. He only had like, you know, like the hype vocals, right?

That was pretty much it. But it was him like singing and performing live. So that was I mean, I thought that was impressive. But then there were some people are mad because he's doing Michael Jackson moves. And there was some I mean, some of the there was a I could have probably done without singing.

I could have probably done without the stripper poles. But I was greatly entertained when that one chick fell off. I don't know if y'all saw that. But it was when Ludacris came out. And it was right over it was right behind Ludacris. So if you're looking at the television, it happened behind his right shoulder, you're you're looking at it, it's your left side. This chick fell right up on her head.

Right on live television. Imagine being that girl, right? Not only are you on a stripper pole in front of your family at Super Bowl, but then you fall off the thing right on your head. I mean, imagine that's you and then you got to go into work the next day, wherever you go into work at.

And everybody's gonna be talking about you. So it you know, it was for the most part, I don't know, I could have done with a little bit more rock and roll besides what is it the her chick going out there on the guitar. She was pretty good, but I could have done with a little bit more. I could have done with some more rock and roll. That's all right.

But it was, you know, for the most part, I mean, it was, you know, it was nostalgic, as Kane said, I mean, there wasn't really anything I was gonna rip my hair out over. Again, the thing that I thought was the most offensive was that he got he gets us sad. And then there's the RFK thing RFK ran an ad. Well, it wasn't him.

Let me let me let me clarify. It was a political action committee. And he had already made a statement that he didn't even know or he at first was tipped off about it, but they're not legally allowed to talk. So PACs and campaigns are not legally allowed to speak to each other. And PACs will do whatever they want to do.

But I still I would have imagined that he would have thrown a fit and raise some cane beforehand, had he not wanted it to air. But it was weird, because I just got to point out that I know that there's some people on the right that like RFK. And we're going to talk a little bit more about this. But you guys know, he's like a big anti gun guy, right? Like majorly anti gun.

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And now all of the news you would probably miss it's time for Dana's quick five. So apparently, assaults, attacks on New York police are escalating to record breaking totals. In the latest anti cop sentiment, they say it's a full blown epidemic. City cops are getting beaten at a record setting pace.

They say it's a trend fueled not just by radical protests, but all of these people who enter the country illegally, bail reform, soft on crime prosecutors, etc. They said the number of cops injured by suspects surged 20% in 2022. When you had 4724 uniformed officers that suffered injuries in attacks, compare that to 3933 in 2021. But it grew worse last year because they said in the first nine months of 23.

That's when you get over 4000 cops injured by suspects. That's on pace for a record breaking 5400 something so far. That's crazy. That's crazy. And they haven't released the latest quarter of 2023. So that's happening at a record breaking pace.

It's a major problem. A Waymo robo taxi went up in flames in Chinatown after a crowd attacked the vehicle in San Francisco. I think they're done with these things. So it was one of those robo auto, the auto almost sentient, but like a what is it robo taxi, right?

No driver. Apparently, a crowd surrounded it broke the windows through fireworks inside, setting it on fire. And they said that the autonomous vehicle was not transporting passengers at the time of the incidents and new injuries were reported. I almost feel bad for it. I mean, they're just attacking it mercilessly. It's like watching like a bunch of wildebeests at a watering hole attack like a calf or something. It's crazy. But nobody knows what incited the crowd to do it.

But they said authorities are investigating the incident, maybe because they clog up the streets and they're trying to get out of the car. There's a lot of problems. I think Alaska pox seriously. I feel like people are reaching everything. So this is from a couple places.

Can I Peninsula? So Alaska pox virus, according to the state health department there. There was a fatality due to it. It was a guy who was immunocompromised, but it's apparently the first fatality from the Alaska pox virus, or AKPV.

It was discovered in 2015. It's related to other ortho pox viruses like smallpox, calf pox, monkey pox, and they say that they're zoonotic viruses. So they go within certain animal populations and they can spill over into humans occasionally. She says that the AKPV infections will probably remain rare. This is a one epidemiologist and that people who are not immunocompromised don't have anything to worry about. And there's no evidence of person to person transmission.

I just want to know how you get it from the animal then. I got some questions. Remember? Was it just the one? $7 million, right? They paid. It could have just been their CEO saying, Hey, we're sorry, then they're not going to do that.

They would rather have like people like Peyton Manning, who also they have Post Malone. And they were in there for like a second in the $7 million commercial for a second. And then they had what the beer fairy. But Bud Light, does it did it make you rethink your opposition to P baby beer? I can't. I mean, for real.

It's the Lee Croy of the Bears. I'm saying you know, it's like they threw. They threw a Guinness through some water and then took that water and bottled it and then threw that through some water. And then that's the Bud Light.

One has some other commercial. Let's see. That's it. Because when it came on, I was like, Oh, here we go. Here we go.

Again, they could have just said sorry. All I can see is Dylan Mulvaney. Are you the Bud Light Genie? Yeah.

So we get wishes. It's my thing. You mean 80s metal hair?

Yes. Filthy Ray. So filthy. Invisible, predictable. Giant bicep. Big one.

Sweet ride. Maybe they could have wished for Dylan Mulvaney to have a vagina. Why didn't they do that with a sad?

You see what I'm saying? Like, it doesn't make you want to drink by like, no, it just goes along with their whole thing. They think that they can just wish. I don't think they can wish away their problems. They think they can.

It's just so dumb. Like, all you got to do is just say sorry. All you got to do is go out there dudes and say sorry. We're sorry that we decided to send out this twink to cosplay as a check.

We're sorry that we did that. It was really offensive. It wasn't chivalrous. It wasn't manly and it wasn't hot.

No, instead they're doing this and it just is like even goofier. You mean the T-Rex didn't want you didn't didn't make you want to drink the trans beer? The eunuch beer? The T-Rex didn't want you to drink that eunuch water? Is that what it is? That's what I'm calling it now. It's actual gender fluid.

So gross. It's true though. You guys know it.

It didn't make you want. Now I get it that POTUS has a relationship. The previous president has a relationship with Bud Light. They're having a $10,000 a plate fundraiser with the top Bud Light lobbyists.

I get it. I'm still not drinking the gender fluid. I'm still not supporting it. And it's not.

Quit saying it's an American company. You had Bruce Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner. Why are Republicans like why is Caitlyn Jenner on Fox? Why are Republicans throwing themselves at Caitlyn Jenner?

I spent on this issue. It's a dude. Like, and he's pushing Bud Light.

A dude pushing Bud Light. What the hell of Republicans? What's the matter with you people? You're getting baited by the left in literally committing political seppuku on an issue you were just winning on. It just blows them off. So anyway, I guess I don't know.

So anyway, they $10,000 a plate dinner. I don't know. Maybe that's why there's like this this urge from some parts of the right to sit here and push this like reconciliation with Bud Light. But for reconciliation, you have to have an apology. You have to have an acknowledgement beyond Oh, we fired our ad person. You know, we fired this.

I mean, you got to have a little bit more than that. You know, it's like with this and going into this, what Bud Light did, and there's a serious more serious issue. The issue, for instance, just what we saw in Houston with this, this trans pro Hamas killer that was going to go out and murder a bunch of Christians in a church. This stuff, you might think that it's silly to like fight over beer. But you know, one of the reasons what if this dude had gone on a run?

They'd be looking for someone of the opposite sex who's white instead of the actual gender of the killer. Excuse me, who is Hispanic from El Salvador. This stuff is killing people. Bud Light helped to mainstream this with their stupid commercial with their stupid ad thing with Dylan Mulvaney. And all the people that are out there making apologies for that gender fluid. All the people out there making apologies for that use of this stuff.

Munich water are helping to do it too. I don't care how much money you're getting per plate for a fundraiser. I don't care how much you how many shares of the company you own.

It's in bed. It's not even an American company Caitlyn Jenner. So stop saying that it is. You know, you can sit you're not any more of a chick than in bed is any more of an American company.

Stop it. But all of that goes into making this not just a cultural issue, but a one that you got to live with. And that your kids got to live with how many trans terrorists that we had now. Let's think the Colorado Springs killer was non binary. The Aberdeen killer was trans the Denver school shooter was trans the Iowa school shooter was trans the Lakewood dude was trans the Nashville killer was trans.

Do you get it now? It's more than just talking about piss baby beer that's Bud Light. It's actually talking about people who are getting killed because this that this this fight over trans semantics has taken a violent turn.

That is what they did. It's more than just insulting women by having Dylan Mulvaney cosplay as a chick. It is about bringing this and trying to push it in society and justifying violence when society resists. It is about so much more than just culture and a beer and a beer commercial. It's so much more than that. And all the people making apologies for it. This is what you're apologizing for. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.