Absurd Truth: Dana's Renaissance Artwork

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I think we all accidentally got high from the Sharpie because I'm drawing cane right now since Hunter Biden can sell art for millions of dollars. I'm like, well, yeah, let's just prove that it's not total nepotism and money laundering. So I'm going to draw cane.

It's brilliant so far. All right, first up, a Florida man who exposed himself inside, this is a strong Sharpie, a Florida man, so it's on brand, who exposed himself inside multiple Claremont stores as he was drugged. Was he drugged the last time he exposed himself in multiple stores? A Florida man is facing several charges. He exposed his junk in a Target, a Pizzeria, all these different stores.

Joshua Brown, 32, was arrested for indecent exposure. I don't understand his mugshot. He looks like I don't get it. Why? He is scared, confused.

Why? Who looks like that in a mugshot? They arrived, officers arrived at seven o'clock in the evening to find a man in Target, identified as Brown, showing off his bits and pieces in the business. Yeah, he can't be doing that anywhere like that. Obviously, they reviewed surveillance footage and they showed him doing that and being gross.

He's being gross. When they detained him, they found oxycodone and I can't say this one. Clonazepam? Clonazepam? Yeah, pills.

And then he was on probation for a prior conviction of exposing his junk back in December of 2017. And he kept saying that someone drugged him and made him do it. Yeah, no one no one did. You freak.

You did it yourself. What's the matter with you? What's going on with Panera? Now in St. Louis, Missouri, it's called St. Louis True. There's a now a second lawsuit.

I didn't even know there's a first one against Panera Bread. A Florida man says that he kicked the bucket from the caffeinated charged lemonade. They said that it was a charged lemonade.

The guy went to cardiac arrest. The guy said he was drinking lemonade for six days and was a member of their sip club. Where you order unlimited drinks. The charged lemonade has 390 milligrams of caffeine that's near the 400 milligram daily maximum intake. Did they make this guy drink this lemonade this many times a day?

For six days? Why is it their fault then? You absolute fruitcake. Don't drink the charged lemonade then. Good heavens. This is so dumb.

They said that they find it to be without merit, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you can't be doing that kind of this is like Oh, I drink hot coffee and burn my mouth. I'm going to sue because the coffee's hot.

This is so goofy. Let's see a Florida woman set Tinder set her Tinder date on fire over $60 say police this is in Miami. The woman that this guy met set him on fire. 25 years old.

Got to be careful with these chicks man that she he wanted the $60 she wanted the $60 he had on him and he said no so she set him on fire. Stay with us. Our partners over at Hillsdale College this this is the type of academics that are needed. What Hillsdale College provides it is one of it's an actual learning institution. And if you're unfamiliar, it is it's a beautiful small Christian classical liberal arts college in southern Michigan. And they're all about the pursuit of truth and defense of liberty. They foster open, honest academic debate.

They teach critical thinking and they encourage it not critical race theory. And they also want to thank everybody for their kindness towards the college for this past year. This Christmas season, they have a special video that features their sacred music choir. Their performances from their music choir and it's sung in their beautiful Christ Chapel at the heart of campus and you can access it and watch it only at Dana4forHillsdale.com. And it's just a thank you from them to you for supporting them because they understand that education is paramount to freedom.

And that's what they were founded to offer the kind of education that is needed to preserve the rights that we enjoy today and they're still holding true to that mission after their founding in 1844. So please visit Dana4forHillsdale.com and you can see a ton of other free resources they have to help celebrate the season too. And I assure you, you'll be left with in left inspired as Dana4forHillsdale.com. Thank you so much for joining us today. We'll see you next time.

Dana4forHillsdale.com. Well, don't get your hopes up. Okay. I'm just saying, you know, although I'm super artistic.

What do you believe that I don't believe anything. I there's certain things I can do drawing. Well, I can let's just say I can master anything. This is a Renaissance masterpiece. It's really it's a masterpiece.

So I did this. I in my defense, just to say just to add that perspective. No perspective. Okay, you're in the dark over there.

True. So it was hard to get your visage. Got my what? Your visage. So I drew a picture of you. I think the likeness is amazing.

That was actually not accurate at all. No, it looks just like it looks just like you. We got for the people watching the simulcast. He's always in like a hoodie of some sort.

I can't really do shoulders or arms that well. It's still a Renaissance masterpiece, right? He's got headphones on, right? Right. His eyes. I can't draw eyes. Totally great.

But you know, it's still a Renaissance masterpiece. The facial hair was a little tricky. Yeah. So I just put it all there where the facial hair supposed to go the lower face portion. Right?

Could have been worse. He's got the he's got the the headphones, the his cans that he wears for radio. It's over his hair. He's got the core look at the cord I did. Yeah, I did a cord for those not able to lie into detail.

I know the attention to deed. I got the buttons on your shirt. I got the cord that goes I mean, it looks literally just like on what is that? What are those words at the bottom?

What are those? Read it for the audience that's listening home brought to you by probiotic. It G I think that this is probably worth a million dollars. I'd say it's more than that. I mean, I might be a little biased. Yeah. And I think it's I think it's worth a million dollars completely okay with the fact that doesn't look anything like me.

But yeah, no, it does. It looks totally like you. That is your shirt.

I'm okay with one will agree. That's a shirt. That's a shirt. What? That's your shirt. Can you do your that's your outfit.

I don't want to break the news. Those are scribbles on paper. That's not scribbles. That's line artistry of stinky Sharpie on paper.

That's what that is. It's an it's your face. I got your nose. Your nose. Is there your eyebrows? Yeah, those aren't exaggerated either. They're not I can see them over eyes and eyebrows or anything that includes eyes.

I guess you have a problem with? No, I mean, did you want me to draw something with your eyes? I mean, you mean accurate? Huh?

Do you mean do I want you to be more accurate with it? You know, what should I use the the Christmas card that Greg? Greg Abbott sent us a Christmas card.

I appreciate the governor for that. Yeah, he says very nice. They sent us a Christmas.

I don't know. I'm awkward. Can you tell like I was? I was raised with y'all wasn't raised with them all.

I'm like, and they sent us a Christmas card. I don't have any more paper. Otherwise, I maybe it's something I can do.

I mean, if you're comparing it to hunters finished better than anything going back, I would say yours definitely better than Glenn Beck's work right here. Yeah, get that masterpiece. So how do we get the bidding started is what I'm wondering because I think we should start at a million dollars. I think the starting should be Yeah, at a million. I mean, I'm sure we're gonna get tons right out of the gakers like right.

Right at the start. I didn't even spit on it. million dollars. A million dollars. Who wouldn't want this Renaissance masterpiece?

Probably if you spit and probably worth a million, maybe. Yeah. I mean, maybe you know what we should do? We should. We should maybe gift it to one of the people that's in the YouTube chat. As like, you know, because it's like a million dollars. We're gifting to you.

Right here. hand drawn on break by me. brain cells were damaged by the Sharpie scent of this image. The scent is still lingering. It Yeah, it's pretty. It's like, what do they put in this?

I don't know. This is wild. Like it's one marker. And it felt we're all like dizzy.

It filled up the whole studio. It's one marker. But I like it a lot.

I think the bidding at a million might be a little much to start a bid. But I'm I'm on board. This is a man. Did you see my attention to detail in the background? Right?

The cross hatch detail in the background. I didn't spit through a straw. That's true. See, the Biden's could easily you know what Democrats could easily prove to me right now, that him getting a million dollars for a painting is due to his I mean, they it's not due to his name or anything else.

They could do that right now. Because this is better than his stuff. This has form and it looks like something. Absolutely. It has meaning because it says cane. It means cane up at the top clearly a sponsored message as well brought to you by big pro biotic probiotic, who doesn't sponsor us, but I think secretly they do. But I mean, this they could Democrat Democrat could give me a million dollars for this right now. And that would take care of any suspicions I have that Democrats defending Hunter Biden's work that it wasn't just because it was they weren't a money laundering thing.

So a million dollars at a starting bid. Now, you know, we could also, again, you know, you could gift it to somebody in in the in the chat. I'm just saying, you know, we could gift it to somebody like a million dollar donation million dollar Christmas gift right here is the Christmas season. I mean, I'm just it's just it is. There's no way I can display this, but I'm gonna set it right here on the other thing.

So there you go right there. That's pure talent. I am actually impressed.

I worked real it took me it took me an hour to shade your upper lip. I didn't steal it. I didn't Biden it from Napoleon Dynamite at all.

I didn't Biden it from that at all. Not at all. But for real, though, like that mean, it's normal to draw pictures for your friends and have them give you millions of dollars for it. Right? Is it though? And yeah. How it's that's normal. That happens all that you guys deal with that in your friendships, right?

With the Biden's? No, I've even played Monopoly with friends. And they haven't they don't even play Monopoly with friends. They don't hand over because I won't have any stuff like that.

That's bandit. We can't play Monopoly in our house. It always ends with tears and threats of litigation. Never.

It's never gonna huh. And we play risk and it ends with usually I because I will dominate in risk. I will dominate I will own souls teens. I haven't played risk since I was in my teens. You know what else you haven't played? What?

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And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. All right, so Australia's first ever moon rover to be named Ruver after a public competition received more than 8000 submissions. That's like when they were trying to name that boat in Britain, Boaty McBoatface. 8000 and they named it Ruver. Ruver. They named the damn thing Ruver. The other names that didn't make it were Skippy, Wombat, Walkabout. Oh, Rover McRoverface.

Of course. They said why Ruver? They don't actually they just Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, but that seems very Australian. It doesn't hop. I don't know. I just don't. Okay, well, then I'd accept it for that.

Does it have a pouch? Okay. 1000 Santas ditched the sleigh in favor of bikes in downtown Milwaukee. That sounds annoying. That's horrible. In favor of bikes. They made their their bikes look like sleighs. I don't know. I like that they do it.

It's fun, but it's the Santa cycle. Okay, I have a video where audio will play coming up that it's why people have the opinion that they do. Let's see.

A disciplinary council seek suspension of an eerie lawyer who said that cocaine enhances his work. Is this Hunter Biden? I'm curious. Like it has to.

They have to be. Also, let's see. NASA's James Webb captures a real monster face in deep space. It's a newly discovered galaxy spewing out of the stars. I think it's a warning.

It is legit a warning. It is creepy as all get out looking. It look actually it's this cool as all get out looking. It looks like a ghostly skull.

Super cool. Also, let's see tire slashing spree solved as an Italian as Italian police arrest. This is a weird story. This is from the Guardian. They arrested this guy. It's like a mafia style intimidation. And they it's a the way that they have the Guardian wrote this story.

I want to find the person who wrote it and I want to beat them to death in the street because they were so like obsessed with being trying to write like alliterations that they couldn't write the story. Basically, this guy went around slashing tires. And they took them like weeks apparently to figure out who was slashing tires. That's what a sting is for. You sit outside, slash and then you arrest them.

It's very easy. So just sit on the bike lane. Great parking spot. Great job. Man, that's a nice bike. You got there. Sidewalk is on your lap.

Yep, exactly. That's cross without looking and blame the cyclist. Man, that's a nice bike you got there. It's a great place to walk. Man, that's a nice bike you got there.

Take your time. That was him. If you're gonna act like you're a car and you're gonna ride your bike in the street, then you have to obey the rules of the road like a car does. And that means you have to stop for people in crosswalks. He got mad at this chick. A couple of people because they were in a crosswalk. Welcome back to the program. Dana last year with you.

We're concluding this third hour of our broadcast. I saw this video yesterday. I don't dislike it. I have friends who ride cyclists. They ride bicycles.

I don't know how to say it. I have friends who enjoy doing that as like a hobby. But the way they do it and the way that I see like a lot of these people in videos and some of my experiences with other people, like my friends understand they're in a bicycle. And if they're going to ride with the cars, they obey rules of traffic.

I cannot tell you. So like in Texas, you got to stop when you make a right on red, right? I this was maybe three weeks ago, I was at a stoplight. I was two cars back from the person actually was there's a car in between us the car that was getting ready to go and they had stopped there was a I saw the bicyclist coming up on the right.

And the car stopped. They were going to make there was nobody coming he was he stopped as he was supposed to and he was going to make a right a turn on the red right. This bicyclist because there were people it was the light that for the people who could turn they could go so the people who are in the left turn lane they could turn left and the people opposite you could turn right there was nobody opposite us to turn right so it was clear.

This bicyclist I watched this dude literally all in his bike is like pro bicycle gear. He blew through that red light and was by sit and just cycling across the crosswalk as this guy is turning. And then he honked his little bike horn and flip the guy off. And I'm like that guy had right away if you're going to end the bicyclist was not on the sidewalk. He was with the cars because it was like pretty traffic I was I had something to do and it was in rush rush hour. And he if you're going to be in the road like that you have to observe the rules of the road.

And thankfully, you know, this guy turning he was you know, so he was in a truck he was slow. And he you know, tapped his brakes but the bicyclist acted like he just I cannot tell you how many times I've seen this. I saw bicyclists almost murder themselves in a roundabout because they did not know how to buy they did not know how to do a roundabout. I every interaction I've had with them on the road has been they've almost gotten themselves killed. They've almost killed somebody. Now my friends aren't like that.

Of course, they've been doing this like forever though. Like I they've they've been cyclists for ever and they love doing it. Like they just it's scenic and they enjoy it.

But man, I'm telling you, that's why people don't like bicyclists is that right there. They're all leftists. The smart ones I think are honestly conservatives and I think the ones that are bad or leftists. I really do think that all right today stupidity came. All right. This is going to have to be it's going to have to be Biden. No, actually, you know what we're going to my masterpiece. We're going to do AOC if you don't mind AOC.

This is cut 17 one if you don't mind playing this. This is imagine saying this and not recognizing the irony and all of it. Listen, listen. We're here today because there's a proposal here and there are several proposals here to further marginalized trans women in sports. And I think about this all the time because trans people in the United States doesn't even exceed 1% of our population.

Yet there's so many resources and energy and time dedicated to figuring out how we can more finally exclude them from our sports. And I thought, why? Why?

Why so much effort and dedication on such a tiny portion? A violation of privacy. That's really not what that is.

But what about the privacy of the girls who want to change in the locker rooms that boys being in there? Yeah. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.