Absurd Truth: Mumbling & Word Salads & Video Games

Hillsdale College is a truly actual educational institution.

If you're unfamiliar with Hillsdale, all the smart people go there. It's a small Christian classical liberal arts college in southern Michigan, founded in 1844. They're all about the pursuit of truth and defense of liberty. These are hallmarks of the education. They they protect the debate of ideas openly and honestly. And it's not about critical race theory. It's about critical thinking.

That's what's important. Now they have a short video that shows you how their work is effective in defending American liberty, not just on their mission. And while you're there, you can check out all of the things that they offer and learn more about their mission to educate everybody, regardless of any other identity politics people like to apply. To learn more about the mission of Hillsdale College, visit dana4hillsdale.com.

dana4hillsdale.com, Hillsdale College, developing minds and improving hearts sponsored by Caltech. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. Oh my gosh, I have like so many. I love Florida man. I love Florida man so much because just when you think you've heard it all, I guarantee you you haven't. Alright, so first up, I'm gonna get to the snake stuff but hold up. So I got this is the five alligator guy. An anonymous tip led officers to the man's house. A Florida man has been ordered to appear in court after officers found five young alligators living in his bathtub.

An anonymous tip led officers led officers to 38 year old Robert Robinson's house. Officers then contacted Robinson over the phone when they arrived and he confirmed that yes, he did have the gators inside and he allowed them to check inside of his house. They found five alligators in the bathtub.

I swear is this like a song? Isn't this like a song like alligators in the bathtub? Before making sure he didn't have any other wildlife in any other parts of his house. He told the officers that he caught the gators from a pond near his home, but it remains unclear how long they were in his possession. They were released into this very confusingly spelled lake. They're gonna they're gonna their Florida people are just gonna just get me.

Stop. Wait, it's Lake toho pakalaga. That sounds right. We did it.

Yay. Officers found the alligators on October 23. And they cited the incident with Florida fish and wildlife, blah, blah, blah, you have to have a permit to possess a wildlife as a personal pet.

I thought this was America. So that means I couldn't have a no, but thank you, Miss Susie with her alligator purse. No, I can't.

Would could I not have a possum? I'm just wondering. Yeah. All right, this is about soccer or football. Naples, Florida soccer coach was arrested because he got mad at a call by a ref on Wednesday night. And he decided to go up and headbutt the referee. Yeah, 43 year old Jose Garcia, he did not have the best reaction.

It was Eagles Lake Community Park. And they got a call from a witness in response to a battery Garcia told them that referee Juan Mendoza, referee reprimanded him for a foul. And he thought the referee made a bad call. So he went to argue with the referee, they gave the yellow card at him. And then then he then he got mad just headbutted him. And then so that because he was screaming profanities.

And then he headbutted him and he got a red card and they threw him out of the game. That's not really how you deal with that. But you know, I mean, he I like how he goes whenever we play just gets a little physical. Just a little bit. And then one of the witnesses Nancy Morales says, I think he should take a chill pill. It's a game.

He's not going to win anything out of it. Partners over at Kel-Tec. This is a great Florida company. And if you are unfamiliar with all the stuff that Kel-Tec does, well, you better familiarize yourself. You probably saw some of the stuff that they have in John Wick, for instance, because they have they they've had some other stuff featured in the John Wick film. Alright, so the R50. It's awesome, awesome addition to the 5.7 market. Now I have the P50.

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That's keltechweapons.com. Tell them that Dana sent you. That's the folks at Toyota, which last week announced it would significantly finally increase wages for their workers. Thanks for you had no choice. They had no choice because of what you did. You helped everybody. And look, and I want to thank you for your commitment to the solidarity for exercising your right to bargain collectively. You made this happen. Thanks. By the way, it's a bigger thing I think even y'all realize. You've changed, you're changing the face of the country. Who's the guy who goes, thanks. Oh my gosh. God bless America.

That's POTUS. Welcome back. I'm in a weird mood, dude. Top of the top of the second hour on this Friday, yet another day that Cain hasn't gotten Warhammer to squat up.

Top of the second hour. It's all right. It's all right. Yeah, we're gonna fight about it today. We're gonna fight about it. So get ready. Go ahead and get ready. Get your little team ready.

You can sit here and talk to me about your little Rocket League and then we're gonna talk about Warhammer Dark. We're gonna just have it. We're gonna have the fight. It's all right. It's all right. Yay, Friday. Welcome. Top of the second hour.

Dana Lash with you. You can listen coast to coast. You can stream the radio program.

There's channel 347, direct TV also. And all kinds of good stuff. So I really want to get. I need this one. So this is the one that you just put in slack. And this is somebody that it's our vice president.

You put this in slack. Vice president was talking to the pipe that is local 537. Right. And she was explaining collective bargaining to them.

She was explaining them to them. Right. That's the best way to put it. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. Go and listen. This is think of the dressing for the word salad.

Go ahead. So collective bargaining is about saying, let the workers have a voice as a collective altogether representing each one of them as a group and then go into that negotiation because then you start to equal out the balance in terms of power in a way that the outcome will be fair. That's what collective bargaining is about. That's what worker organizing is about.

This is one of my favorite comments I've ever read my life. She should have never quit her job at the thesaurus factory. So profound. So happy that she explained such a complex word, Cain, meaning it's not simple. So, you know, collective bargaining is about, you know, people doing things together collectively as a collective collecting their same positions to negotiate, you know, for a deal, a bargain collectively altogether.

As a group. She loves the Venn diagrams, that one. How does Saturday Night Live not do like you would think she would be right?

Like what is going on? The fact that they don't do they don't make fun of her. They're not about comedy. I think your humor sucks when you just can't take the obvious. Like even if I agree with you, if you do something goofy and stupid, I'm going to make fun of you because I'm an equal opportunity, ridicule. And I don't respect people who are not. So if I if I do something dumb and you don't make fun of me, we can't be friends. If if if you do something dumb and you don't like it, if I make fun of you for doing it, then we can't be friends.

Because there's life is too short not to laugh at other people. That's just all there is to it. Like Kane not wanting to play Warhammer, for instance. So we're having this.

This is an ongoing fight that we're having. Describing it as I don't want to. And that's not even that's not accurate.

You haven't. No, that's accurate. So it is. So you you is it indicative of you not wanting to know or you just we wanting to but just not having the time because you're so busy with Rocket League? Yeah. No, I wish I was more busy with Rocket League. I only get a chance to play, you know, Rockley with my son over in Illinois once maybe every 10 days or so. It's not very much. So see, like you play with him.

But then when you're not playing with him, you could squat up. Right. I'm just saying I could probably have to carve out some time, throw it in the calendar. I can do it. See, I could make it happen.

We could have like a whole team squad did like a whole day already. And then we'll get one into it. You said Darktide, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Steve is like, I don't even know. Steve, you don't play really, right? He's like the only millennial who's not really into games.

Right? Oh, that I know. I said this before. I grew up in a house full of women. So there's no video games in my house growing up. Be a nerd for once.

Damn it. Come on. Nerd out with us. I nerd out on all the things. It's not video games. He's like so straight-laced. He's just like, yes, well.

But no, I think that's one of the it's a great. So I'm going to keep bringing that up constantly until I break you. Because it's great fun. It's great fun, Kane. You get to go at zombies. You can crush them into meat pulps.

Maybe that's what I'll do for you. Collectively, you know, together as a collective. You mean as a group? As a group. All together. You know, a collective. That's the way it is. And then we can bargain about what level of malice we would like to play.

I'm glad you're clear with that because I thought collective bargaining was you like collecting bargains. That's, you know, actually, I'm so glad that you brought that up because, you know, for instance, so my stepdad, right, is the coupon king. So I don't know how it works in some people's homes, but in in the home in which I grew up.

First, it was me and my mom for a long time. And then when my mom and my stepdad got together, he is like very good at couponing and finding the coupons and saving the coupons. And he would keep them all organized in a letter organizer that he hung on the back of the pantry door, a little pantry door in the kitchen and all the different coupons. And when he makes a grocery list, parts of the paper, there's an there's invisible borders and you're not allowed to put any non dairy item in the dairy section that is not at all marked on the grocery list.

It's just not at all marked. And it's it's just, you know, he he writes it out how he goes into the aisles and he will not he would not allow my mother to go to the grocery store because he's like she gets distracted and picks up other things. And so he's like, you don't get to go. And so normally it's just like the thermostat is like the territory, right?

The dads like they take over. No. And this house is also the grocery store shopping. So you had to have a coupon to get it. If you wanted it, there better be a coupon or you ain't getting it.

You know, a quick question. Coupon or coupon? He says coupon.

Who am I to argue with the king? I've heard it though, both ways. I have to. My mom says coupon and he's like, that's wrong.

Is there a singular way? That's correct. I don't know. I'm not going to fight with him about it. You're everybody else is welcome to take up the issue with Papa.

But yeah, it's not going to be me. Just call them paper bargains. Paper bargains that we're collecting collectively. But no, he would that's what he do. He would collect the bargains. He would collect the coupons and he would you can't you know, like I remember one time I wanted Cap'n Crunch and I heaven forbid I put it in the meat section. And he's like, I just got to get a whole new piece of paper now. No, he got the white out and he would white it out. It was a notebook paper, dude.

It was like college ruled notebook paper. Yeah. Yeah. He's got no got a white.

It's got to be perfect. No scratching out because it's confusing and sloppy. He doesn't like the sloppiness and confusion. Right. My kids think he can do no wrong because he's forklift certified. I don't know. He drives.

He operates a forklift and then he got bored in retirement and then wanted to go back to drive more forklift. So I don't know. But he's like, no, no, this is not how this works. You cannot put the cereal where the meat goes.

Like, OK, well, just can we get it? Is there a coupon for it? Is there a coupon for the Cap'n Crunch? I did not have a coupon for the Cap'n Crunch at that particular time. So Dana did not get the Cap'n Crunch. Now, when he did find the Cap'n Crunch later with the crunch berries, he had a coupon for it. And that was a nice surprise.

But that's the house I grew up in. It didn't exist on the store shelves. He would say the store's out of it if there wasn't a coupon for it. And I know these were lies. And he is like that, no, no, the store didn't have any.

I'm like, you're serious? The store didn't have any Cap'n Crunch? That's a lie.

We know this is lies. You just didn't have a coupon. Not the same thing. But he was a collector of bargains and he was in the union. But he was a collector of bargains, you could say, like Kamala Harris was explaining.

I just go out and collect bargains. I love it. It's a great film from the studio that brought you The Sound of Freedom and The Chosen. It's after death. It's an unprecedented deep dive into the phenomena of near-death experiences. Now it explores the ultimate mystery of what happens after, well, what happens after people die? Like from the perspective of people who have gone through this and they came back and they have had what they said is an experience with the realm beyond. Now, what makes this different, the film After Death, which is rated PG-13, is that it incorporates first-person accounts.

They also include a lot of very careful research, scientific knowledge and philosophy. So it paints a very, very fascinating perspective of what life could be like in the next realm. Now, After Death is in theaters now. To find a theater near you and purchase tickets online, you can visit angel.com slash Dana. So leave your preconceptions at the door. Prepare for a never-before-seen glimpse into what the next life could entail in After Death in theaters now.

Get your tickets today or pay it forward. Visit angel.com slash Dana. That's angel.com slash Dana.

After Death, the end is only the beginning, rated PG-13. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. I gotta immediately start with Pumpkin the Bear.

Hanson, I don't even know where this is. Hanson police, WBZ News, say that Pumpkin the Bear is going to have to be euthanized after killing a goat. Is that not what bears do? I mean, it's a bear. Bears kill goats, right? They said the black bear has gotten a taste for livestock, killed a goat inside a barn Wednesday night.

Second time Pumpkin has attacked livestock, said police, although the owners had an electric fence and reinforced barn doors. See, if you have to put down the bear, then why the hell do I gotta carry bear spray if I'm going into, like, Yosemite and I'm going into a park. Thank you. Thank you.

Just saying. The bear got his nickname in September after he was seen snacking on a pumpkin in a resident's yard. He's a big, giant black bear. They said, unfortunately, he's becoming too comfortable in the area. It's not his fault, and he's found too many food sources. He's gonna have to be euthanized. You people are morons.

You are the dumbest people. You don't have to euthanize the damn bear. Put him in, you know what? Like, put him in a zoo. Put him in a zoo or, like, a nature reserve or relocate him or something like that. You don't gotta kill him. He's a big, fat black bear. Yes, he killed a goat. Cause that's what bears eat.

Quit having bear's food around him. I'm joking about that last part, but... Flexible work hours can make your heart ten years younger. That doesn't make any sense to me.

What? I think, I don't know. I think this is weird.

They said that flexible hours may reduce the risk of heart disease. I think that this has to do with, like, habits and patterns and behaviors less so with us. Don't you think so? Cause nobody's stopping you from getting up and taking a little walk around the yard.

Nobody's stopping you from doing that. I don't know. Some of these studies are weird. Um... Exploding marijuana-infused cider drinks were recalled in Michigan? It's called... I'm looking, I'm really confused by this whole drink.

Cause it sounds horrible. The can is called Armada, it's Armada Cannabis Company, cannabis apple cider. You don't have to put cannabis in everything. Just like you don't have to put pumpkin spice in everything, right? You don't need pumpkin spice tires.

Your fridge doesn't need wifi. You don't need cannabis in everything. 15,000 cans of marijuana-infused cider drinks.

That honestly, that sounds horrible. Cider should be not with that flavor in it. They said it's a single batch of Armada cannabis apple cider. They said they've been swelling and bursting. They said they've received, the reports have been from retailers, not from actual consumers.

The cans in question list January 2nd as an expiration date. Like, you do not have to put cannabis in every single thing. I think people are going overboard with that, like the pumpkin spice stuff. I really do. I think this is like way, there's way too much. Stop it.

You don't need to do all that. Let's see, this, the nation is at risk of winter blackouts as the power grid remains uncertain. Or remains under strain.

Yeah, it does remain under strain. This is why you need to get a generator. More EVs?

Yeah, let's have more EVs. A cruise robo-taxi dragged a pedestrian in San Francisco. Yeah, see in San Francisco the cars drag you.

It's that the one of the driverless cars, the vehicle software mischaracterized where the robo-taxi initially struck the woman, leading it to make the wrong decision. I won't even have a damn Roomba. I would never get it. I would never do this. Never. Stick with this. We got a lot more in store.

Just because you don't like it doesn't make it a conspiracy theory. You know what? Hold on. This is what gets me in trouble. I got to put my thing in my case.

Because we got to talk about big tech for a moment. I can't, I can't, can they, can they, hold up. I'm going to put my sock head on my computer.

I can't put it on my head because it'll mess up my hair. We literally just did this. We, we, we beg these people to send us stuff. So this, I'm not, don't worry. I'm going to put my phone in my thing. Do me a favor real quick. King, call my phone real quick right now. I'm going to say something. Hold up. I want to show you guys because I want to do my, because we got to talk about how big tech is censoring the hell out of us right now.

So just want to make sure. Just call my phone real quick. It'll ring at some point because I got to talk about big tech going at us. Why is it not ringing?

I mean, it's supposed to be ringing. All my stuff's up. Oh, there it is. Okay.

So all right. You're calling me. I'm not taking your call obviously. So I'm going to put it in the thing and then you can try.

You can try calling it because then we've got to talk about big tech is slamming us so bad right now. I'm putting it in my, my fairytale thing. You should tell people where this pouch is from. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So we, we are, it's actually King who is crazy and was wrapping his whole head in tinfoil and we're like, you're going to die.

Can you find something that's not going to hurt you? Right. I found that it's like they're called, they're, it's called Faraday Labs. This thing will not ring. Call my phone again. I haven't turned it all off.

I haven't turned it off. I'm doing this because I want to talk smack and I don't want them to get me. Let's see. Let's see what it does.

Are you going to do it? Yeah, I'm calling. It's not, well, it's not ringing. No, it's not ringing at all. This is crazy. It's literally not ringing.

The call has been forwarded to it. Oh yeah. And then I have, I purposely leave my voicemail full because I hate messages.

I hate all of it. Anyway, I'm just going to keep this in here because, yeah. So anyway, so here's what's up. So we got, I got another little thing on Instagram. I got a whole bunch of more notices on like a whole handful of notices on Facebook. This comes after YouTube took down two of my videos because they, two of the videos for the Dana show, because we had on Dr. Robert Malone, we had on Dr. Tess Laurie. Laurie was only talking about ivermectin as a method to treat symptoms.

And she was talking very specifically about how it works to alleviate some of the symptoms that go along with having the rona. And some, you know, barista dropout button pusher at ThugTube, YouTube, MooTube. They decided that they, they didn't like our video. The video was like, this was posted over a year ago. So they started taking these videos down and they told me yesterday because I disputed it and they're like, no, sorry. You know, you just didn't, they didn't actually tell me what in the video they thought was misinformation. They claimed that I was spreading misinformation, which I think is a, is an impignation of my character. And they said that I was spreading misinformation and I said, I asked them, can you actually articulate what, and they couldn't, they wouldn't like, no, it's just, we just don't, we hate you. They didn't say it like that, but that's basically what it is. They, they couldn't actually say a single thing as to why they can point to a single thing in any, anywhere.

They couldn't actually articulate why any of it would be considered in any way misinformation. And so, so we got that. Then we get the notice. And I had this and this was from, they didn't even show me what, what this was. They didn't even show me what, what this one video was.

They were just, they told me that, let me pull this up, that, and I sent this to Kanan Wan. They showed that they had removed these posts on Facebook. They said it went against our rules, but then they didn't tell me what, what post it was, what video was or what rules it violated. They just said, no, it violates our community standards violation.

That means I'm going to post more of it, whatever it was. Was it, I don't know what it was. Was it somebody who was mad that I was seeing that Palestine is a fictional country? I don't know. Because it is. Fight me.

I don't know. These people are, these, these fascists. This is so stupid.

This is absolutes. You know, but these are the same people that are like, no, no, no. If you sit here and glorify Hamas and you say from the river to the sea, that's OK. If you sit here and scream, kill the Jews on college campuses, that's OK.

But heaven forbid you point out that, you know, ivermectin actually can help alleviate symptoms that go along with Rona. Or that you point out that, you know, Palestine actually isn't a real country. It was completely made up. It's a fictional place.

There's no Palestinian people. That's not supported by 2000 years of antiquity. And it was completely fabricated under the ether after, by Hadrian, after the second Judean uprising because he quelled that.

And then he was like, yeah, I'm going to be a spiteful d-bag. So I'm going to name this Syria Philistine, Philistina after the Philistines who are Greek. And they're all here like whatever, like a half a century before Arabs even got into the area.

So just going to say, I don't know, just history in fact. So I just feel like, you know, I'm going to have to wrap all our stuff because these people, they're now they're like Coleman. They're like listening to everything now. OK. Can I talk in a smack about it? Because it'll.

I also don't like it if I talk about stuff and it shows ads. You know, I was talking about possum stuff. Show me possum stuff yesterday. Dude, for real. Dude. I bet I could put my phone on my sock hat, too. I bet it would do the same thing. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.