Absurd Truth: Cancel Copernicus

All right, so there's a movie out if you are looking for something to view this weekend or looking you want to go to the theater or you want to you want to go see a great film. There's a new film out from the studio that brought you The Sound of Freedom and The Chosen. And these are films that were really, really well done. One of my biggest criticisms of so many films that kind of originate on the writer in the faith based community is that it seems like production value was always secondary. The Angel Studios really, really focuses on just top notch production, and they really do great, great films.

I mean, they just look, you know, really beautiful, and they're really well done. And their next one After Death, which is in theaters now, and you can purchase your tickets online at angel.com slash Dana, it explores the mystery of what happens, you know, what could happen after we die. And it looks at the perspective looks at it from the perspective of individuals who have gone through this who had a situation where they, you know, they were flatlined, their hearts stopped beating, and they went, you know, to the realm beyond and it talks about their experiences, first person accounts, but they also incorporate unlike anybody else, very careful research.

So it's the perfect marriage of scientific knowledge and philosophy and faith, to paint a fascinating picture of what life could be like in the next realm. To find a theater near you and to purchase tickets online, you can go to angel.com slash Dana, and you can also pay it forward, you know, you can purchase a ticket from someone else. So if you're someone that would love to go see it, but you know, times are tough, and you can't really swing tickets, you can actually go and generous fans have paid it forward for you. And you can get a free ticket at angel.com slash Dana.

So leave your preconceptions at the door. Prepare for a never before seen glimpse into what the next life could entail and After Death in theaters. Now get your tickets today pay it forward angel.com slash Dana, that's angel.com slash Dana. After Death the end is only the beginning pg-13. Dana lashes absurd truth podcast sponsored by Caltech. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida Man. According to the land police department, Veronica Elliott was charged with child neglect. Seven year old girl walked up to the bar looking for her mom. She had been left in the car dark parking lot, no lights. And it was literally 2.58am. They the girl Yeah, it was like before it was in the middle of the night.

Yeah. I'm like, first off, I didn't know the bar stay open that way. I didn't know that that's kind of wild. So a Florida man tried to circumcise his two year old cousin while babysitting.

Dude, I don't even know. This is one of the goof, this is one of the craziest stories. Holly Hill, Florida, a Florida man found himself behind bars. He allegedly tried to circumcise his two year old cousin while babysitting him. Timothy's Powell was arrested and charged with aggravated child abuse.

Maybe some prison justice will befall him. There's a absence and an absolute absence of genuine education in this country. And for all of that, there are still some institutions that actually practice education and one of those. is Hillsdale College. Hillsdale College, if you're unfamiliar, is a small Christian classical liberal arts college in southern Michigan, and they're all about pursuit of truth and defense of liberty. And they've been doing this since they're founded in 1844.

They don't rely on CRT or DEI. It's all about character and merit. You can watch a short video that explains to you Hillsdale's work and how it's effective in defending American liberty, not just on their campuses in DC and Michigan, but also across the nation. You can find it at danaforhillsdale.com. To learn more about the mission of Hillsdale, visit danaforhillsdale.com. F-O-R. That's danaforhillsdale.com.

Hillsdale College, Developing Minds, Improving Hearts. Now I'm going to tell you about the racist clouds. I'm not making this up. So Cain, where do you think that I found this story?

Give me a website. Where do you think? Oh, like what kind of website would this be on? Racist cloud? Racist cloud would probably be on something like salon or space.com media. What? Yeah.

The space site. What? I don't know nothing about no clouds.

I'm going to be honest with you right now. I don't know anything about. I mean, I know Ferdinand Magellan, but that's it.

I don't know Magellanic cloud stuff. I don't know. So here's the story.

I hate everything. Here's the headline. Am I saying this correctly? Magellanic clouds must be renamed, say astronomers. Well, because they're racist, Cain. In September, astronomer Mia de la Reyes published an op-ed in the Journal of APS physics representing a coalition of astronomers calling for the renaming of two iconic, deeply studied and shining, shining irregular galaxies near the Milky Way. One of these star studded realms is named the large Magellanic cloud and the other for reasons you'd probably expect is called the small one. But most importantly, they're named after Ferdinand Magellan. And Magellan, the Portuguese explorer, he's a big he enslaved indigenous people, indigenous people who also enslaved other indigenous people. It's true.

Oh, what? And he was the first person to set out to circumnavigate the globe. Now, de la Reyes's article states that Magellan's journey describes how he enslaved some indigenous people who are in Argentina, etc. And he said villages ablaze and Guam and all. So you know, he, you know, he did basically he was no different than all of the other indigenous populations that also enslaved other indigenous populations and beheaded indigenous populations and made human sacrifices of other members of indigenous populations.

Because I love the idea that war and evil is imported from the Portuguese or anyone else in Europe. Everyone was, do you know that Kane, everyone here in the Americas was peaceful. And they lived in perfect harmony. There was no human, it was all perfect. There was and everything was wonderful and peaceful. And everyone lived in harmony and yellow brick roads. And we all had lollipops.

Everybody had lollipops, all my ancestors, except that didn't happen. Who was it? One of the explorers, they were a missionary, weren't they with the Catholic Church that came in and they were, it was in South America, and they were describing the stench of one of the structures they were in because of the human sacrifices. And that's when they tried chocolate for the first time, but they also it was the stench of the bodies and yeah, blood stained everything. So one guy is bad because he did that.

Okay, that's bad. But all the other people who did it are bad too, except no, they're not. That's like when people get all upset over Mount Rushmore and they say, Oh, stolen land stolen from who?

The other 5000 nations that lived there before that nation stole it. So they want to cancel the name, they want to they want to cancel Magellan. Oh, my gosh, everything is stupid.

Everything is stupid. So they want to cancel him because of what about the, someone asked what about the Magellanic penguins too? I didn't even know literally that they were called that.

I knew who Magellan was. I didn't know that these galaxies were called that. I only have so much time in my life and room in my brain for things, but I didn't know that they were called that. Right?

So the thing I just learned about is canceled is going to get canceled. I mean, you could I just not and go on and try to solve other problems. I mean, you could do that. But you know, you still have I mean, who cares about that?

You got the Robert Byrd Green Bank telescope in Green Bank, Virginia, in West Virginia, but hey, that's okay. Because he's the Democrat. I mean, yeah, he was the Democrat. Like, was it? What was he a magical senator with a clan or something? Minotaur? Mini Minotaur? I don't know. What was he? I don't know.

What did they have? Like, aren't they all named after mythical and the Democrat activist arm? Yeah, you're right. I'm not sure. Gorlach? I don't know what I don't know what it is.

But yeah, they have the Robert C. Byrd telescope, the Robert Byrd telescope. They cover it with a sheet. I don't know. Anyway, but it's different. Next stars are racist.

I joke, but that's gonna happen. So you know, I just think that, um, yeah, this is why to go back. This is kind of like why I, you know, like to be in my hobbit hole and stay home. And there's, there's, there's no, it's like you have no, this is why we all gather together every day with the show. Because there's nowhere else you can go even on your own side. If you look around on your own side, this is what you see people arguing over boots. And, and reportedly straight men on the right being obsessed with other dudes feet. I don't get it.

I mean, you know, you got potential biblical stuff happening over in the Middle East. But hey, the R50, if you haven't seen this, this thing is so awesome. It is their 5.7. It's, it started with their, their, the P50, which is an award winner. And so this is the rifle version of the same award winning platform. You can get it in multiple barrel links, and they got all kinds of deets on it over at keltechweapons.com. It's lightweight, it's accurate.

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That's keltechweapons.com. Tell them that Dana sent you. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. All right, so first up, Nicolas Cage says that the he's calling sounding the alarm or what he says is inhumane digital editing this trend where everybody's like de aged. He says that it's a nightmare to him. He says that the use of digital editing in Hollywood. He spoke out in an interview that was published this week. He said that that he goes, it's he goes, it's terrifying. He was telling one news outlet that one of the scenes that he filmed as a cameo in Superman as Superman in the Flash didn't actually happen. And he said that it was what because it is I mean, it was like, total, you know, CGI, AI, all of that. And he says that it's crazy because I didn't do that. I wasn't there.

That didn't happen. And he says that he goes, I he goes, he said it was crazy. And he says that the da gene is terrifying. And he just his answers on this are hysterical.

I love Nick Cage. It is weird, though. Have you seen it? Like when they when they de age actors with it's, it is wild. It's wild. Harvard says that I don't believe this. And I hate all these people.

Your T bone is giving you diabetes. You know what you can shut up us. Nobody cares. I wise. I'm so tired of people who are complaining about red meat.

If God did not want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat. Shut up. Sit down.

Next. People are suing Steven Tyler. They're saying that he assaulted her when she was a teenager. Whose mom let a teenager go backstage at an Aerosmith concert in the 70s?

That's my second question. An arrogant passenger runs onto the tarmac demanding being let on the plane after showing up late for seeing the pilot to kill the engine. I would have gotten off the plane and beaten their a double snake so bad they would have been unrecognizable to their family. Oh my gosh, runs out on the tarmac. So this is in Afghanistan.

Okay. Wait for the next plane. You didn't get there in time.

Wait for the next plane. Youth smoking nears zero. But Biden still wants to ban menthols to protect kids. By the way, can I just say, as Gen X, who has helped raise Gen Z, not everyone in Gen Z is like this, but man, you guys, they've turned into little Puritans.

We need some hell raisers. I'm not saying go out and smoke cigarettes, but they don't drink. They don't smoke. I mean, it's like they're all, it's like a song, right?

It's like a song. Don't drink, don't smoke. I mean, I'm not saying to go get bad habits, but touch grass, right?

Just go out and touch some grass for a little bit. They're saying that youth smoking is nearing zero, blah, blah, blah. Let's see here. The Hollywood sign turns 100 this year. LA is in no mood to party.

Nobody cares, LA. What is taurine, Kane? What? Taurine. Taurine? Taurine?

Like what? Taurine on a roof? Like what they put in energy drinks? They said that- Oh, taurine?

Yeah. They said the amino acid extended the lives of mice and worms. Great news for mice and worms. Researchers, you know, if you want to live longer as a mouse or a worm, researchers are planning more tests than people. They said it could be a key to longer life.

I don't believe that. The United States is also working with the Inter-American Development Bank to establish a fund for nature, to seed more investment in nature-based climate solutions, like debt for nature swaps and blue and green bonds. I supported a debt for nature swaps dating back to my time in the United States Senate, and this is a ripe area for considerable growth, in my view. Investors are eager to support projects that are with demonstrated potential.

And by providing early stage funding, the technical assistance, we will help more promising climate solutions get off the ground than ever before. What the hell's a nature swab? Is that what I heard?

I think swap. Mr. Swab. I heard- I heard swab, like they swabbed the earth. It sounds- I don't know what that sounds like. I'm not- I'm not- I don't know what I feel- feel about that. Welcome back to the show.

Dana Lash here. It's Friday. Steve was making fun of me on break because we were talking about how we- I wouldn't want to live forever because you just got to deal with this stupid- you'd live forever with all the stupid people that could also live forever, too.

Who would want that? He said that. That was like the darkest thing he's ever heard. La la la la la. Happy Friday. It's Friday. It's like a Monday on a Friday. So we do things a little weirder and that I don't really just we just we we just sit down, we just talk about all the things and people we don't like.

So pull up a chair, get you coffee, get you a sody, whatever it is that you got. You can listen to the radio show across the country. If you'd like to read with pictures, you can watch us.

I'm joking. You can watch the simulcast as well. Dana, if you're gonna get hate mail. 347, DirecTV, YouTube, where they- there's always a rowdy riot in the comments every day there.

And Facebook as well. So what the hell did he say? Nature- that was nature swab, dude. I clearly heard that. Is that like some kind of new environment? Environmental thing?

It's like you heard Yanni and I heard Laurel or something. But yeah, he's talking. I don't know what the deal is with with him.

Outside of just what dementia and old age. I don't know what else to say. Yeah, nature swab. Nature swab. I don't know what that is. Is that like a new green initiative?

Swab the earth. He can't move his- he can't- it's like he doesn't have the muscle control to pull his top lip up and enunciate better. It's just all the meat on his face slides down and just falls into his teeth and he can't talk. There's a soundbite. Golly, man alive.

I'm telling you what, somebody give us a hunter's coke. What? It is a thing.

What's a thing? Debt for nature swaps. What? Yeah, or debt for climate swaps. So you're claiming that he's saying swap? Yeah, swap. I feel like you're trying to make up something that he said so you can make it stupid and you can destroy him further.

Not that he needs help. That does track with what I normally do, but that is not what I'm doing here. It's not what I'm doing here.

It is a real thing. Debt for climate swaps and debt for nature swaps. Well what is the debt for climate swap?

What's that, Cain? I guess it's restructuring debt with the incentives behind the green agenda. So it sounds like a racket. Yeah, it's like a government racket. Okay, so my next question is how do we get in on this?

That's a great question. Like the whole climate, what is it? The carbon credits, which are basically indulgences, modern day green indulgences. Sure, you can go ahead and take that plane ride. Give me a thousand dollars and I'll plant you a tree. Yeah, I'll plant you a tree.

Debt for carbon swaps. Do people actually believe this? I mean it's one thing if people actually believe it. It's something else entirely if they don't believe it and they just do it to give the optic of going along because look, we're part of the crowd. We're not causing any problems. We're part of the inquisition.

Look at us, right? I don't know. I just, there's something to that. I don't know. I guess they really believe it. I don't know. It's just weird. I still don't know if that's what he said, swap, but I'm willing to go with what your expert audio engineering ear heard, Cain. Because all I heard was mashed potatoes is all I heard.

It's like when, can I just give you an aside and then I'm going to move on because I got other things to talk about. So, and I love my grandfather. And I'm not, that's not, I'm not paying that as a penance to get ready to rip him for something.

God help me, I'm not. But he was such a, he was such a rebel. So he was, you know, World War Two vet, naval vet. And he ended up having to get dentures later in life. Man hated wearing dentures. The only time that he was wearing dentures was when he was wearing dentures. The only time that he would put them in, there for a while, was if my grandma was around and was aggravating him about it. Because she would, she'd get at him all the time.

You know, how are you going to put your teeth in? Because she told him that he had to get used to wearing them. He didn't want to wear them.

Right? And his doctor kept telling him you need to wear so he quit seeing his doctor because he was like, I don't need those people to tell me what to do. This was the man who hated banks and kept his money in a Bible that was unlocked. Like one of the big giant family Bibles. Like it comes with a case.

And everything. I don't even know where it came from. I think the Lord gave it to them when he was a boy. I don't know. And kept it on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. And I'm just like, why would you do that?

Because people are going to rob you. And he's like, no, Heaton's gonna open this. It's fascinating.

And he's right. Like it never ever, nobody ever took anything out of there. It was probably supernaturally protected. Anyway, long story short, he, you know, he just thought what he thought and believed what he believed. And he did not want to wear his teeth. And so he did not want to wear his teeth. And so when we were little, and we would sit at the dinner table, and I was at my grandparents a lot growing up because my mom had to work like three and four jobs. And when we would sit at the table, my favorite thing ever in the world was watching him eat mashed potatoes.

Because he wouldn't wear his teeth because he said they hurt and he couldn't and he said that they his teeth were just made the food weird. And so what and then he would sometimes spit it out at you. And it was hysterical. Like he loved entertaining the grandkids at dinner.

And so it was my favorite thing in the world. It was like watching Nat Geo right there at the table. And sometimes she would, you know, yell at Howard, you need to wear your teeth, etc, etc. And he would talk back to her and sound just like Joe Biden did just then.

Without dentures and a mouthful of mashed taties. Nobody knew what he said, but you could kind of get the gist of it. And I just when I heard Biden sit there and go like a grandpa. I don't know just, you know, brought back, except my grandpa was sentient. Biden isn't.

We don't know what's happening there. How dare you make fun of baby hunter Biden's dad, Kane. You're so mean. You're so mean. I have another one from this morning. Oh, wait.

Yeah, that's right. There's more. Can we hear some more mashed potato?

I found it this morning that it did happen last night. Same. Yeah, yeah. Listen to this. Together, we're working to address historic levels of migration hemisphere. Okay, can I pause it right there?

Can I just pause it right there for a minute? Because we are going to talk about the border. What the hell is this record levels of migration? These aren't geese. These aren't geese.

Why do we talk about why do we allow elected officials? Well, there's the migration that's coming from the southern. They're not geese.

They're people including a Jordanian terrorist, by the way. Okay, go ahead. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt it.

No, that's all right. Here we go. Together, we're working to address historic levels of migration. A lot of people moving around so much energy admire particularly so much energy Venezuelan refugees, which you've set an example for the region.

So we embark on this next century partnership. Who the hell is hitting the table? That's the crackling fire. That's the fire? It sounds like someone's hitting a ruler on the table. There's a fire in the fireplace going in.

Is there a metronome to keep him on beat? Is that what it is? It looks like split oak logs crackling.

Man, I want an actual wood burning fireplace. Can I just blow a hole in my ceiling and put one in? I'm not sure that's how it works. I think I'm going to do that.

I'm pretty sure it's how it works if I want to because this is America. I have no idea where I'm going with that. What did he say there? I couldn't hear. No one knows what he said. That was just.

What does this voicemail sound like? No joke. That's what it is. How dare you make fun of Baby Hunter's dad. Baby Hunter Biden. This cocaine or crack.

One more sidebar and I got more things to do. I don't know the difference between Coke and crack. Is crack just like like the generic brand of Coke? I literally don't know.

I know this is a big debate during the Whitney and Bobby era. I don't know. I think there's with crack. It is cocaine, but it is whack. I'm told it's cooked in some way. The cocaine is not. I do not need an email explainer on the audience in some way to make crack.

And we're not giving those instructions out clearly. I just I the reason I ask is because I was just thinking like. Are they are they different and wouldn't he go I mean it's the Biden's wouldn't they want to go for the bougie ish drug you could be addicted to. Is that cocaine is that what all the bougie people.

I don't know. In the 80s. That's what that's all the 80s movies I watched as a kid. That's all the bougie people. All the John Hughes stuff. Right. Yeah, I think it morphed into like heroin and other like even pharmaceutical type drugs. I'm just wondering anyway. And also because I didn't know whether to attribute to him as a coke or crack head. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.