Absurd Truth: Spot The Difference In Pictures

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Tampa police are seeking a woman who sold a stolen parrot to a pet store. They're looking for some this this woman they want people's help. They said that two blue fronted Amazon parrots Tito 15 and Mama 20. They're that old. Wait, hold on. They live that long?

It's like if you were going to commit to a parrot, you got to like really commit. Jiminy Christmas. They were stolen from the porch of a house. Who keeps their parents on a porch?

In Seminole Heights, Florida. And they said that they're so they're seeking this woman. She took these two parrots.

I'm still trying to get over the ages. And she sold them to she sold Tito to a pet store. The owner recognized Tito had been stolen contacted the true owner. The other one who has a steel band on her left foot is still missing. They're trying to find her. I do hope they find that other parrot. That's kind of sad.

Anyway, they're saying that they're they're asking for information who may know the female in their video, your Tampa PD etc etc contract crime stoppers. That's like a pretty specific theft. Isn't it like you steal someone's pet parrot?

I wonder if it's like the parrot and Shorzi. You can't. I can't play with that. I've been telling Kane and Steve to watch it.

They won't do it because they're haters. All right, so a I'm not read. Kane sent me one Florida Man headline that I'm not reading.

I thought you do what you normally do and dance. There is no way to talk about this one. You've talked about stories similar to this in the Florida Man segment. This is I mean, there's a whole new level of creepiness here. All right, you know, do you believe that this guy's 46 in his mugshot? His name's Brendan?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They say this guy is 46 years old. I do not believe it. If you're watching the simulcast.

All y'all talking on YouTube. Y'all know that dude ain't 46 years old. That dude do not. He does not look like he's 46 years old. No, no, no.

Brendan Patrick McGonagall. He was taken into custody by Fort Myers police. Let's see. So witnesses say that he entered the restaurant asked for some water and then began his indecent exposure activity while staring down everyone in the restaurant. And then when police arrived, and they questioned him, he said that he really wasn't feeling well and just decided to do that there.

Oh, my gosh. So he's charged with two counts of indecent exposure. I'm I don't know the law on this. But could you punch him in the throat?

I feel like you could, right? Just feel like that's something that yeah, to be justified in this instance. The KS-7 from Kel-Tec might be short and slim on the outside, but it's long under the hood with its 18 and a half inch barrel packed into its bullpup design. It's ready for home defense, backcountry hiking or anywhere you need a compact 12 gauge shotgun. The KS-7 is lightweight with a magazine capacity of six plus one or seven plus one depending on shell size, easy to handle with rear loading and downward ejection and standard carry handle that doubles as a sighting site. Every KS-7 produced at Kel-Tec is made in the USA by a team who takes pride in their work and believes in respect, family and the right to bear arms.

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Secure your world with Kel-Tec, keltecweapons.com. Now, we're not just taking this as it comes. We're also trying to prevent it from getting worse than it has to and that's why we're focused on more sustainable infrastructure for the future. It's why we're getting those EV chargers out there. It's why we're making sure there are more excellent and clean public transit options out there. We're buying zero-emission buses for cities. That means cleaner air every day and doing our part with the climate challenge and even for parts of the transportation sector that are very hard to move to a zero-emissions platform. Think maritime and the way our ships work. Think aviation.

We're also working on more sustainable- What? Yeah. I can't play that enough. He is on a roll, man. New mom, mayor, secretary, former rear admiral of the Camp Wimpy Tonka canoe fleet. That's a secretary, mayor, secretary. Poot booty juice. That's how Joe Biden says it. I think you combine the Lawrence O'Donnell and the Biden way of saying it. So you say Poot, which is Lawrence O'Donnell, and then booty juice, which is Biden.

Yeah. Well, I mean, Lawrence O'Donnell is the Shakespeare of MSNBC. I've never seen a man more dramatic. I mean, I have, but like on MSNBC.

Let me refine that. Anyway, welcome back to the show. Top of this third hour. I have the- so we're going to talk about climate and aliens.

Welcome to the show. All right, so he was talking about the burning of the Canadian forest burning. We were talking about how they've been warning like all of their conservationists were warning the government, guys, we seriously need to do some controlled burns. Or all hell's gonna break loose. Like we promise, eh?

Please? They were very polite about it. And Trudeau was like, Oh, no, we don't need to do that. That's you know, whatever. And they I honestly makes it makes you wonder if they wanted it all to burn so they could blame climate change. I'm saying that because they apparently don't understand forest management. That's an actual real thing. Anyone who's ever worked with land knows this. It's part of land management.

It is a real thing. You get overgrowth and you get a little bit of, you know, a couple of dry days and anything can happen. So they're trying to say it's climate because they've had a drought. They haven't had a drought.

Oh, it's kind of super hot. It's like it's summer. And it's because they had no they can't manage. They cannot manage anything. It's the government. They can't even manage trees. So that's the unfortunate, you know, I mean, it's Canada. Golly, this is what happens when environmentalists take over stuff, things burn.

And then you have Randy Weingarten. Okay, so I saw this all day yesterday, I saw people had two photos, and they shared them on Twitter, one on one on top of the other. And the one on the top was the orange sky of New York through the haze of everything, right. And then the one below was like a from the recent Blade Runner, right, where he's walking out in New York City, he's got a space car, and it's all orange. And the skies looks, you know, kind of similar. And that's it, you know, Randy Weingarten saw the Blade Runner picture and retweeted it saying that climate change is real. She actually did that she retweeted and said yesterday in New York City apocalyptic hashtag climate change is real.

Yay, she's involved with teaching kids. You didn't even look at the photo. You didn't even look at the photo. It has a space car in it. There's a space car in the photo. F-A-U-X-T-O-E. There's a space car in the photo.

There's a space car in the photo. Golly. Hey, teaching our kids.

Yay. You know those games you play on the airplane and it's like two pictures and you gotta pick which one spot the differences in the two? Yeah. It's like she couldn't figure out what was real life and what wasn't. Like the one tire in the back or the license plate or like, like none of that popped out to her. Yeah, none of that.

You know, she didn't see any of it. You know what? I was trained on highlights for children. You know that magazine? Did you have highlights, Kane?

Steve, did you have highlights? I think so. So on the back cover, they had a thing where you had to spot every one of them. You had to spot like weird things like the differences between these pictures and all this.

So I was like, my whole life I was prepared for this. You know what I mean? I'm like looking at all, I'm like there's a million things in here that you could pick out and she's like, nope, that must be real. I don't even know how you, man, that's like, who was it? Who was the old lady that writes? So what is she like at Washington Post?

Not Ruben. The other lady, dark haired lady, and she took a picture from several years ago. This is someone, she found a meme of Steven Spielberg with one of the animatronic dinosaurs at Jurassic Park. And she thought it was a hunter that killed something in the safari. And she retweeted it saying this is horrible. Like I don't, she apparently didn't know that it was a triceratops. Joyce Carol Oates is who did it. It was Joyce Carol Oates. That's a real thing.

She actually thought that it was like a safari photo. These people, I can't. They're your intellectual and moral betters, don't you know?

You're better than you. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So officials have identified a suspicious substance found on a Georgia Tech campus. What they discovered was that this was after a half dozen people.

By the way, at Green Mountain Energy, I hope that you just die in hellfire with your stupid pop-up ads. They had a half dozen people that were exposed to a suspicious substance on the campus of Georgia Institute of Technology. This was Wednesday.

You know what I know why? Fentanyl. It was fentanyl. They said that six people were exposed to it.

They had hazardous material crews that went in, cleaned the building, etc. I mean this is crazy because you know just a little bit can kill people. Just a little bit. I don't know what the math is on it, but it's like just a little bit kills 11 million or something like that.

It's pretty serious stuff. Also, the Iron Sheik, that's pretty wild. He's an Iranian wrestler. I remember seeing him in the 80s when it was WWF before WWE.

Didn't they have to change it because it was the World Wildlife Federation or something like that? Yeah. Anyway, he was described as a devoted family man, and he has passed away.

He was the villain against Hulk Hogan back in the day, and he's passed away at the age of 81. So that's going to kick start the three. I think so. Lionel Messi breaks the silence to confirm his move because he says he wanted to get out of the spotlight, so now he's going to Miami.

You know what? I thought Miami was bad. I thought Florida was bad. Apparently Florida is so great that even Lionel Messi is moving to it. He confirmed his move to MLS side of Inter Miami FC, and this is after he turned his back on his former club of Barcelona, and he rejected a move to Saudi Arabia. So I guess the Saudis couldn't buy him. He chose not to renew his contract at Paris Saint-Germain earlier this season.

Man, that's a huge get. He's like the best soccer player in the world. Sorry, football. Football, soccer. You know, it just depends on where you are. But he's like the best in the world. That's huge. Absolutely huge. Golly.

Everybody's going to Florida, I guess. So a Victorville man was accused of attempted murder and assault with the firearms on a peace officer. He's been found not guilty on both charges, despite cell phone video that showed an attack. I was reading this case.

There's a lot of nuance here. I mean, first off, I can't believe the guy doesn't get any charges for grabbing somebody's gun and shooting it off in the air. But I also think the lawyers who brought the charges were morons, because if you're going to bring a charge, you've got to bring a charge you can prove in court. So you can't go for, like, attempted murder or something like that if there's any chance it could actually be, like, homicide, maybe a lesser charge, or attempted, something like that. You can't. You've got to be very, very careful with the charges that you file.

You've got to make sure that you can actually win them. Otherwise, you let violent offenders go free. That's the problem.

Be smart with those charges. And a mom and a daughter allegedly butchered their grandma with a chainsaw and grilled her body parts. Yeah, uh-huh. This was in Maryland.

Maryland, yes. Margaret Craig, the victim. New York Post, no joke.

Stay with us. World's sixth sad place. Sixth sad place, indeed. I don't know if you've seen this. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but maybe a little bit. There's a story. Our friend Larry found us the story, and there's video.

Steve has the video of this. So, police body cam records some unidentified object in the sky in Las Vegas, and it fell out of the sky. The police saw it. They're on body cam footage talking about it. Residents call police saying a couple of not human eight to ten foot beings with big eyes are in their backyard.

Do you have this video? The call's funny, because they're like, yeah, there's some big people back here. I was dying laughing inside.

I don't really laugh a lot, but I do. But they were like, yeah, there's some big people out here. They're like eight feet tall, eight foot tall people. And black SUVs were reported in the area, and they're like, oh, no, everything, all the video and everything was blacked out. Because on this report, it's like channel eight. It's a CBS affiliate out there.

See if you can cue it up to that call. They, when the body cam, the police were going in the backyard, the body cam footage, they said, oh, Metro blacked out this footage because it's private property. Now, you have watched Cops.

I have watched Cops. We all know that that's shenanigans. So I don't buy that. I don't buy it at all. And I don't think these people would have mind.

They would not have minded at all. But they, but someone actually called 911 and they were like, yeah, something fell out of the sky and there's eight. And I don't, I don't want it to be, I don't want it to be a prank. I want it to be real.

And I want the, and who was it? Juan suggested because we were talking about, I don't know how we went from climate change or whatever. And he was like, well, you know, maybe the forest up there, maybe that was a, that would be much more entertaining than just some environmentalists that's, you know, did all this. Listen to this call. This is wild. It's almost midnight on May 1st when a Las Vegas Metro police officer's body cam catches this, something flashing low in the sky. Minutes later, there's like an eight school person beside it and another one's inside and it has big eyes. They're looking at us. Someone calls 911 reporting two large figures in their backyard. I'm still nervous right now. The eight news now investigators obtaining another officer's video as he sent to the Northwest valley home.

I have butterflies, bro. I've only thought of shooting star. Then these people say there's aliens in their backyard.

By now it's more than an hour after that bright light officers meeting up with the caller and his family. What'd you see? It was like a, it was like a big creature. A big creature? Yeah.

I'm not going to BS you guys. One of my partners said they saw something fall out of the sky too. So that's why I'm kind of curious. Did you see anything land in your backyard? They see like a big, they see like a big, like a big something with light. Police walk into the backyard to investigate, but Metro blacked out that part of the video because it's considered private property.

It's clear they're taking this call seriously. Hey, this might sound like a really dumb question, but did you guys see anything fall out of the sky? Asking others what they saw.

Uh, I'm normally discounted as nothing. However, um, one of my partners said they saw it too. Just saying, and I'm waiting for the, Oh, well the official explanation is that, uh, it was just some, uh, swamp gas from a weather balloon that was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus. That's what happened. That's, yeah, that's what it was. You didn't see anything.

What about the eight foot tall people that were looking at us? That, that was a reflection from you. Yeah, it was a, your vision was blurred due to the, the, yeah, the swamp gas that was trapped in that thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus. That's what it was. It was, you just saw science. You just saw, that's all it was.

Swamp gas from a weather balloon. That's it. That's it.

Man, man, man. I don't know. I'm just saying it's a little, some shenanigans. I mean, how bad is it when if they're doing it?

Cause someone's like, Dana, the only reason that they're talking about all this stuff now is to distract from what they're doing. Okay. That also doesn't make me feel better. You're telling me that everything is so bad that the only thing they got left is aliens. Is that what you're telling me?

That don't make me, that don't make me feel any better either. Well, it's, uh, we can't tell them that the world's going to hell and that we've ruined everything. So, uh, let's tell them, uh, well, how about this, Bob? What if we say it's aliens? Jim, that's a great idea. I think they'll buy it. Yeah.

X-Files prepared them. And now they start, I'm just saying that's, I feel like that, that doesn't make me feel better. I mean, I would like for it to be. I don't know if I like them being eight foot tall though. It's kind of weird, but I'll take it. It's this weird, you know, like it with big giant eyes. This just doesn't make any sense. Like proportionate to the head.

Like what is it? Like all the drawings I've seen, they're, they're, they're not, they look like giant precious moments things, bald precious moment figurines. They could, Steve goes, they could dominate the NBA. I'm immediately wanting to figure out how I can just start like a sports agency and represent them. Right?

Cause that's where the money is. If they are that tall, you know, they could ball. Let's do it.

Right? I mean, hell you got men playing women's sports. Let's go ahead and bring a aliens in. Why not? Well, do we know if they're male or female? Well, we don't know. They're gray. They'll look the same. They're all bald. Don't know. No, no idea. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana lashes, absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.