Busted Appliance? This is your sign to upgrade. Shop at Lowe's to get up to 35% off and next day delivery on hundreds of major appliances. Lowe's, we help you save. Valid through 318 while supplies last.
Selection varies by location. Order by 4 p.m. Available Monday through Saturday. Subject to availability. Fees, exclusions, and restrictions apply.
See Lowe's.com/slash appliance delivery for more details. Visit your nearby Lowe's on East 17th Avenue in Hutchinson. Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man.
All right, so a Florida man tossed $4,000 worth of stolen meat. when he found his girlfriend cooking with another man. Wooger, what you doin'? Independent says the Florida man tossed $4,000 worth of stolen meat. He made off with an assortment, like topped sirloin, brisket, beef, and lamb, said authorities.
So, what ended up happening is a Cuban national.
So, is that meaning illegal alien? He's accused of stealing $4,000 from a number of different grocery stores of meat. Hineas Ranea. Of Jacksonville, who's come on surveillance footage stealing an assortment of meats and Phoeixons from two separate public stores, according to Flager County Sheriff. Oh man, that's a lot.
He okay, over $1,500 of meat from one play from one Publix. And then 20 minutes later, he stole over $2,000 worth of meat. From another Publix. He was identified as the suspect. But then, after, so he drove to his girlfriend's house.
And he found she was cooking with another dude. Mm.
So after he found that out, he was very upset. He tossed most of the stolen meat. And That was, yeah.
So he was arrested for felony, retail theft. And he's in the b I don't know about the girlfriend. She moved on and was cooking with another man, so you know. Just saying, that's a lot of meat to get though for two people. It is.
Was he going to have a big old cookout? I've got questions. A man was arrested after groping a driver and causing a crash in Miami. Oh, for the love. Says NBC, the victim lost control of the car and crashed.
This was in Little Havana. That's, yeah. The Oscar Aguire, 26, he's accused of covering the victim's mouth and groping her. She's a driving service. She was driving him somewhere.
and it made her lose control of the car and crash. And video shows, it was caught on video, like the crash and then the aftermath. Don't know if anybody was injured. He tried to flee later on foot, but was caught in a parking lot.
So now he's got battery, culpable negligence, exposure to personal injury. Uh, he's got his bond. He also is a TRO against the victim. Oh, and he's an illegal alien, so he's on a hold. Isn't that interesting?
Two stories. Two stories, back to back now. Falling. Mm-hmm. Involving a legal alien.
Uh a man was fired from his new job After he showed up in a bathrobe to collect his first paycheck, after he was day drinking. Oh, I thought this was America.
So it apparently was an office prank. He was still hung over, but And he drank heavily the night before, his first payday, his first day off. Colleagues were like, sleep it off but he showed up to work the next morning anyway, still hung over and wearing a bathrobe. And he ended up being promptly fired like days into his new job. Apparently they didn't like the spectacle of it and um Yeah, so.
That's Yeah.
So at least you got one paycheck.
Well, yeah, he did. He got like the one paycheck.
So there's... There's that. A Florida woman was arrested after alleged fair ride line dispute with a child. Yeah. A boca raton.
It was in Palm Beach County. They apparently got into a fight. over a line at a ride at a fair.
So a woman lost her temper. She thought an 11-year-old was cutting into the line. She grabbed and yelled at the kid. It's a South Florida Fair. Reyesa D'Souza was arrested, charged with battery, and then resisting arrest without violence.
So the girl stepped out of line to use the arresting with her parents and was trying to get back with her family. And that's when apparently the woman grabbed her by the r arm, pulled her backward. And the child ran back to the parents crying. And then the deputies arrived, found that woman still waiting in line for the ride, and they took her into custody. I would have whooped her.
Oh my gosh. Give me an excuse. I know, like what is wrong with people? It's an 11-year-old kid. Their family's there.
They're trying to get back with their family. There are some people out there that are like really they're very particular about the line about the queuing the folks who help make the program possible. It's our friends over at Super Beats. You guys know the Super Beats heart shoes for all day energy and stamina. It's a great product from a great Texas-based company.
But they also have their turmeric chews, which I take every day and I cannot recommend them enough. They taste great. There's no additives. There's no, so there's no added sugar. There's no artificial anything.
It's just literally, you know, they have an orange citrus flavor. Everything is like from what it comes from, to put it in layman's terms. But here's the big thing. A lot of turmeric, I mean, really not a lot, but turmeric is difficult for the body to absorb. And you have to take a ton of it to get, you know, the serving that you would need to have that, to have an effect on your inflammatory response.
So what they did is they developed this turmeric curcumin complex. It's clinically studied. And their particular complex helps to solve the issue of having the body, the body's difficulty in utilizing it effectively because they made it. More highly absorbable form, and that's important, very important.
So, one of their turmeric chews, you're going to get it's the equivalent antioxidant support of what you would find in large amounts of standard turmeric extract.
So, this is not just any turmeric, and it's not just any kind of turmeric complex. It's a clinically studied turmeric curcumin complex. And so, you're getting significantly higher absorption. You know, the benefits that turmeric has on your body's inflammatory response, supporting a healthy response, you know, reducing those markers. It's great tasting, easy to take.
Like I said, I take it. My doctor loves it. I take it, and you can try it for yourself at Sam's Club. You can get the turmeric juice, clinically studied high absorption formula at Sam's Club today. Grab your bag of humans' turmeric chews.
With the Venmo debit card, a taco in one hand, And ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking your rewards. Nice. Get up to five percent cash back with Venmo Stash on your favorite brands when you pay with your Venmo debit card. From takeout to ride shares, entertainment, and more. Pick a bundle with your go-to's and start earning cash back at those brands.
Do more Stash, get more cash. Venmo stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. See terms at venmo.me/slash stash terms. Max $100 cash back per month. Shake It Up with Vital Proteins, Collagen, and Protein Shake.
It's a high-quality, ready-to-drink shake with 30 grams of protein and 10 grams of collagen to support healthy hair, skin, nails, bones, and joints. With zero grams of added sugar, no artificial sweeteners, and absolutely no carrageening, it's a clean, delicious way to fuel your day.
So you don't just age gracefully. You age powerfully. Vital proteins. Stay vital. Learn more at vitalproteins.com.
Uh But I had to touch on this. I saw this last night. And I'm looking at this and I I was actually reading about um A movie, it's an Oscar contender because you know, what is it, that Timothy Chalamet has movie, Marty Supreme, that it's about ping pong, and I'm not going to see. We're just not going to do it. They're, you know, how they do the whole campaigning to get a film, an Oscar.
Normal people like us don't care. But what I do think is interesting is that one of the women, one of the actresses in this film, They're calling her like a legitimate rising star. And I think it was The Telegraph, which is a garbage publication, but still, and others were saying that it's an overused phrase, but with her, For her specifically, it might not be because she really is a talented actress. Her name is Odessa Azion. And people are like, oh, her last name sounds like Zion.
And now all of these anti-Semitic turds have been following her everywhere. She's 25 years old. She's Jewish. And people have been attacking her because of it. And it doesn't matter, as you guys know, what you do.
Like, she's come out and called for a ceasefire, and she's criticized Israel and she's checked all the boxes that you're supposed to check. But that doesn't matter to Islamists because you are still existing as a Jewish person and they will hate you as long as you continue to exist, no matter how many times you bend the knee. It doesn't matter. And I just, I was thinking, like, how insane is that? That This is so beyond.
This is why it goes so beyond just like disagreement. It is identity politics. And then, as I was looking at this, I came across this story that's over at, I think it's the New York Post. And it has to do now. Bear with me because some of you guys out there are gonna be like, wait, is she talking about women's wear?
Hold up, it's not about women'swear, though.
So, Dolce and Gabbana, they are two Italian dudes who run a fashion house, and it's, you know, they're considered quintessentially Italian, like Valentino, who's passed away just over the weekend, and like Ferragamo and Gucci and things like that, quintessentially Italian, based in Portofino. They had a fashion show in Milan just recently, and they've had these like fashion shows, you know, in different places around the world. In Milan, they were hiring because that's where they were. Italian models from again, it's an Italian fashion house. and they were hiring Italian models to walk the runway.
in an Italian show, in one Italian show. And so this one chick, her name is Bella Hadid. She's a Nepo baby. Her mom was one of the real housewives, whatever. Her dad is that Mohammed Hadid guy.
He's like some kind of Beverly Hills property developer who's retconned his own history in Nazareth so many times. There's an entire subreddit devoted to his ever-changing story. It shifts like the wind-swept sands. You know, however, he can try to like present his family as victims or something. And he lied and said he was born here and he apparently was born somewhere else.
Long story short.
So, this chick who didn't become a model until after she had a nose job, which is true. She has been like a big Hamas Gaza advocate. And she Promotes and amplifies all the Pallywood nonsense, all the Hamas truth ministry lies. Like she promotes all of that stuff. And she apparently decided to go after Dolce and Gabbana, accusing them of racism, sexism and bigotry, and said it was embarrassing and that their show was, quote, fifty shades of white because they had mostly Italian and this was a menswear show, so it was mostly Italian male models.
Again, it was Milan Fashion Week. An Italian house. They don't take a cotier of models and fly them all around the world. They hire and source locally. That's unless you're a big-time model, that's like how it works.
I have no idea how I know this, but that's how it works.
So they had a menswear show. It was a fall, winter menswear show in Milan. They hired Milanese models, they hired Italian male models from that area for one. Italian show. And she lost her mind over it because she that's all she does.
All she does is bitch and moan and then promote Hamas talking points. That's all she does. It is so annoying. It must be just exhausting to be incessantly aggrieved the way that she is. And all she does is complain and whine and do these things.
And I'm just like, what? is the difficulty in understanding An Italian house. hires Italian models for an Italian show from an Italian area where the models are predominantly Italian. I mean, has she said this to I mean, do you want to look at some of these other designers? Or do you want to look at Super Bowl halftime shows?
Or do you I mean, for crying out loud, why do we still have these Nepo babies practicing race codes? Because that's what she's doing. She wouldn't even be on the runway if her parents weren't who they are and she didn't have a nose job. And those are god-honest facts. End of So I just like, where do these people come from?
And she was, she's like, apparently like an influencer and all this stuff. And I don't know. The whole thing though, it's like a popular to go after Dolce and Gabbana because they're not woke. Which is weird because it's like two gay guys who are not dating each other that do this. Fashion line, and they love the female form.
They make like stuff. I mean, imagine like Sophia Loren, that's the type of stuff that they do, right? Like that classic Italian silhouette, female silhouette, that tailoring, all of that. You know, it's like classic femininity and they're very non-woke. Like Carl Lagerfeld was very non-woke, and a lot of people got mad at Carl Lagerfeld before he passed away.
Dolce Cabana are very not woke. And the woke scolds, like the Hamas Nepo babies and all of this, have been trying to get them canceled now for 10 years. And it hasn't worked because people like the stuff that Dolce and Gabbana makes, even though it's super expensive. And, like, you know, maybe you can get a pair of sunglasses. But it's, you know, they make very, I mean, they make really pretty stuff and they appreciate the female form.
And they didn't get into all the trans stuff. They didn't get into any of that like a lot of these other places did. And I think that's made them targets. But I just think that she needed to get a boost in name recognition. And so she decided to go on another screeching.
You know, tangent about it. I'm just so tired of this stuff. It must be so exhausting to be so completely untalented and bitchy all the time. You know, good heavens. Maybe they can find that and fix that in a plastic surgeon's office in Beverly Hills for you too.
I don't know, maybe.
So you're expected to just trust the government or some random insurance agent to steer you right on Medicare. And that's exactly how people get stuck in plans that don't really fit their lives. Insurance companies push you into plans that pad their profits, not protect your health. That's why I want you to know about Chapter. Chapter is the only advisor that compares and recommends every Medicare plan nationwide.
So you actually get the coverage that fits your doctors, your prescriptions, and your budget. Doing things the right way, that helps them save people an average of $1,100 a year. And best of all, talking to Chapter is free and fast.
So in under 20 minutes, they can review your coverage, explain your options in plain English, and help you feel confident. Whether you're already on Medicare or you will be soon, you don't have to go it alone. I'm proud to recommend Chapter to you because they make Medicare simple and straightforward and focused on what's truly best for you, not the insurance companies. To take control of your Medicare, dial pound250 on your phone. And say the words Medicare plan.
That's pound 250, and say Medicare plan. With the Venmo debit card, a taco in one hand, And ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking your rewards. Nice. Get up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash on your favorite brands when you pay with your Venmo debit card. From takeout to ride shares, entertainment, and more.
Pick a bundle with your go-to's and start earning cash back at those brands. Do more stash, get more cash. Venmo stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. See terms at venmo.me slash stash terms. Max $100 cash back per month.
Shake it up with Vital Proteins, Collagen, and Protein Shake. It's a high-quality, ready-to-drink shake with 30 grams of protein and 10 grams of collagen to support healthy hair, skin, nails, bones, and joints. With zero grams of added sugar, no artificial sweeteners, and absolutely no carrageening, it's a clean, delicious way to fuel your day.
So you don't just age gracefully. You age powerfully. Vital proteins. Stay vital. Learn more at vitalproteins.com.
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. This makes me sad. Britney Spears was arrested for driving under the influence yet again. New York Post.
She was handcuffed by California Highway Patrol in Ventura County, California at about 9:28 p.m. local time. And she was booked then at 3 a.m. released at 6 a.m. and she goes to court on May 4th.
I really want her to get healthy. It is really sad to watch this. I mean, clearly. You know, she's struggling with something. If you've seen the dance videos.
Just saying. I think maybe there was a reason why she was under a conservatorship. Just saying, not trying to be mean, but goodness. This is sad. Legendary college football coach Lou Holtz passed away, age 89.
He led Notre Dame's fighting Irish to their last national championship in 1988. The school announced this yesterday. He'd been having some health issues in recent months. He had moved to hospice care in Orlando 33 seasons on the college sidelines. He went to, I mean, he had a great record.
A lot of it was in Indiana, but prayers are with his family. But that's a long, full life. That's a good life lived. United Airlines is introducing something new to try to deal with passenger annoyances, but I don't know if that's going to help a lot. The new rule that was added to their contract of carriage terms under the refusal to transport.
And so they're saying that people who fail to use their people who are using who don't use headphones to listen to audio or video can get thrown off a flight now. Also, like if you're barefoot and putting your nasty, gross feet everywhere, that can get you thrown off a flight. I will rip you, rip your toes off and throw them out of the plane midair if I see that happen.
So I'm actually, people do that. I have a story. I think I may have shared it with you before, but also the nation's top problem, government, according to a new survey. I agree with this. Kane, this is scientific and absolutely accurate.
And still true. Yes, the majority of people say, yeah, the biggest problem, government. Absolutely true. Gen Z is flocking to Chinese medicine, which is great.
So just don't go to wet markets and get bat flu, right? Because their trust in the U.S. health system plummets. Xi Jinping's plans are coming together splendidly. Stay with us.
I watched uh I told you They that Netflix has Decided to ruin the Burbs. Are you guys familiar with The Burbs? It is one of the greatest movies that came out of the late 80s. I was a kid when my mom took me to see this in the theater. And it has Tom Hanks, Carrie Fisher, Bruce Stern, who plays one of the best.
Characters ever. Corey Feldman's in it. It is such a brilliant movie. It is about all these people that live on the street. They live on a cul-de-sac.
And these weird people, the Klopex, move in next door to Tom Hanks and Carrie Fisher, who are married in the movie. I've seen this so many times, I can quote it. I at least quote it once a week. And the neighborhood's suspicious, right? And the and Ray, who plays uh Tom Hanks.
Or Tom Hanks, who plays Ray. He is like, you know, kind of his wife is telling him, stop. Don't be, you know. All into the conspiracy theories with this stuff, but he's like, Something's weird. I got a gut feeling.
And so Mark Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, is Bruce Stern's character. And then you have Art, his neighbor Art, who's kind of the troublemaker, right? He's the one who's like, Ray, Ray, let's go and look at the neighbor. Come on, Ray. And you have Tom Hanks' character, Bruce Stern's character, and then Art, they all get together.
And it's adult men that do boy stuff. And it's hysterical. That's what makes it funny. The original, they were so stereotyped. It was just like Corey Feldman was the disrespectful, smart teenager on the street, right?
Tom Hanks was the everyman who was just, you know, he needs a break from work. He's stressed out. You know, his wife is trying to, you know, trying to tell him to, you know, be healthy and take some time off work and don't stress yourself out, et cetera, et cetera. And Then you have Bruce Dern, whose Rumsfield character is this very patriotic veteran. And, you know, the first time you're introduced to this character, he goes out to the yard and patriotic, you know, flute and the pipe and drums are playing.
And he puts up the flag in the morning. And he's got his trophy wife who's in her maribou mules, the little furry heeled mules. And they, I mean, it's hysterical. And then you've got the old man that lives across the street with a tidy lawn, and he wears a toupee, and he's very fastidious and fussy. And I mean, it's just hysterical.
All these neighbors that come together and they sit on the porch at night, and the men smoke the cigars, and they're talking about the neighbors, and Art's talking about how, when they were kids, the ice cream man that lived in the neighborhood cut up his family. And it's just hysterical.
So you have the you it didn't need to be remade. And now you have the burbs, this one. They follow the Noah's Ark rule of casting. Which is you get two of each. Like some bizarre United Colors of Bennett.
Not that it's a bad thing. But we know people tend to silo in real life. For the most part, and it seemed tryhard, and nobody had chemistry. They tried so hard to be inoffensive that it's actually offensive. I I it and the characters were so boring.
Oh my gosh, they were so boring. And I think You know, that's they they None of the actors had chemistry. None of them. They did everything that they could to make these characters as boring as possible.
So they couldn't be accused of purveying stereotypes. But that's the thing that made it funny in the original, because the stereotypical behavior flavored each of these characters, right? And the way that they clashed and complemented each other? was a hysterical symphony. It was it was brilliant.
And now you have the roles reversed.
So the original was partly about boys doing crazy boys stuff, but they were adult men, and that's what made it hysterical. Like you had Bruce Dearn's character, you know, the patriotic vet, and he's, you know, he's got all of his gear and his, you know, he's got his guns and his gear and his tactical stuff, and they're going to go over the fence and inspect the Klopek house. And it's hysterical. And he's sitting up on his rooftop drinking juice and eating animal crackers. You know, and then instructing the guys like, Red Rover, Red Rover, send Ardon over.
It's just so funny. And now it's women and it's boring.
So now Tom Hanks is a woman and her British husband is so boring and he has the personality of cardboard that I want him to die gruesomely just so I can be entertained. I couldn't even make it through the first 20 minutes of the first episode. It was so incredibly boring. And here's the other thing. I don't know who the writers on this show are, but they are so lazy.
I think when they die, their soul will be too lazy to leave their body. That's how bad the writing was. They open up. This chick's got a smartphone and she's like FaceTiming her overtly stereotypical gay artist brother, which that was the one where they went so hard into the stereotype that normally I'm not offended in that way, but I'm like, that is so overwrought. And she's got a smartphone.
But she needs to google the spooky house across the street.
So what does she do? Doesn't use her smartphone. She goes to the public library and sits on one of their PCs and Googles it. And then it like brings up this totally like sus 404 page. That doesn't exist in the internet.
I feel like whoever wrote that scene is somebody who had never Googled anything and has no experience with computers. It is so bad.
So, and then I was telling Steve, every character was boring. They have two old lesbians, and I don't even know if they're a couple or not. I think maybe they are, but they're so boring. And my experience is that one of them at least has a smart mouth, and they really didn't. They were so boring.
Everybody was so boring that you want all of them to die. You are rooting. You don't even know who the bad guys are. You're halfway in the first episode, and the writing is so bad. It is worse than the wokery.
The fifth word. I paused it and rewound it. The fifth word in the first episode was microaggression. You know, you're going to be going off a cliff when that is literally in the first sentence spoken. No joke.
So do not waste your time. They don't even respect nostalgia. They're terrified to even hat-tip to nostalgia in this remake. It is one of the worst. things that I have ever suffered to watch.
So I would highly encourage you to not. If you're going to watch the Burbs, watch the original masterpiece. Writing excellently. Within the first five minutes, you know who everybody is. It is so brilliantly written, they should teach a masterclass off that script.
I mean, you know who everybody is. The pace is set. You've got the beat of the rhythm of the story. You know who the bad guys are. Immediately, your hackles are up because you're like, what is happening?
You're 20 minutes in, 15 minutes in, and you don't even know who half these damn characters are. They're so afraid to even interact with each other.
So just watch the original because it's genius. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Rewards programs are a lot like pop culture. They can be hard to keep up with, but with Venmo's new rewards program, Venmo Stash, rewards are so easy because the more you do, the more you get.
And you choose the bundle of brands you get cash back at. It's giving fiscal queen. It's giving star. It's giving up to 5% cash back at your favorite brands. Just pick a bundle of your go-to spots to shop with your Venmo debit card and earn cash back at them.
Do more, get more with Venmo Stash. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA. Venmo Stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 cash back per month. See terms at venmo.me forward slash stash terms.
Are you a fraud-paying American? One in four tax-paying Americans has been a victim of identity fraud. With LifeLock, if your identity is stolen, they fix it. Guaranteed or your money back. Last year, billions in refunds were stolen.
Could be from your salary, overtime, or second job. Gone. But this year, you don't need to stay a victim. Because this tax season, fraud-paying American is something no American should have to claim. Save up to 40% your first year.
Visit lifelock.com slash iHeart. Terms apply. I like things my way. My coffee, my schedule, and my treatment.
So I talked to my doctor about self-injecting with the Vivgard Hytrulo Prefilled Syringe, which contains F-gardigamide alpha and highloronidase QVFC. It's injected under your skin subcutaneously. It means I can inject in my space, on my time. It's my treatment, my way. Visit VivGuardMyWay.com.
That's VYVGARTMYWAY.com and talk to your doctor about Vivgard Hytrulo, brought to you by Argenix.
