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I just don't know why, but this headline is kind of funny. A handcuffed Florida woman was caught eating cocaine that was hidden inside of her pants.
Okay, this is where I don't know about drugs. Maybe I should ask Tucker Carlson. Do you eat cocaine or snort? I thought you snorted it. Uh no, you snort it, and then the, you know, like Hunter.
Remember, Hunter even just described this to us, how he does it. Where you just, if there's some you see on the table, you just do like that, and then you do a little and you put it with it? Yeah, kind of. What does that do? Those things aren't there.
What does that do? Well, cocaine was used back in the day in dental work to numb your gums.
So that's what that is.
Well, you say back in the day, like, how far back in the day? 100 years. Oh, okay. I'm like, not like the 90s. They were putting it in Coca-Cola.
I read that, but I didn't know that you put it in your mouth like that and it would numb. Yeah. But do that but they don't do that for the numbing aspect. Not anymore. It's Novocaine now.
Well, no, I mean like the drug people. No, they still do that. Yeah. Because that makes them high. Little scraps.
Oh, that's crazy. I missed that part with Infant Baby. Hunter, who is the Democrats' version of the Carlsons. Anyway, so we're on the same thing, that's redundant. The Woman got cut.
She went to Chow Town with her cocaine. She was in trouble, obviously, handcuffed. And uh this was in Brevard. County, she had thrown a cinder block through someone's car. By the way, News Channel 6, fix your dumbass website.
Your pop-ups are killing my soul so bad that I want to go find your web developer and drag them behind a truck. You know, rhetorically speaking.
So she threw a cinder block through somebody's car and they arrested her. The woman, uh, Okay. Cain. Her name is Diamond Osborne. Spell Diamond.
Da D I A M O D I A M O That's not how you spell Diamond. Not how you spell Diamond. I mean, Diamond Osborne's name. It's G Y M O N D. Da Monde.
Well, that makes sense. She was a Yeah, she threw a cinder block through somebody's windshield. And nobody actually knows why, according to the story.
So they took her to jail. She was cuffed. And I guess she had her Well, no. Oh my gosh. I can't.
Can I say what the sheriff said?
Okay. Yeah. Okay. No, no, I'm saying it. I'm saying it now.
I'm saying it. I'm just saying. You can say it. She had a bag of cocaine hidden in her jail purse. The sheriff said.
Jail purse. Yeah. That's that it was on the Catwalk in Milan, Milan Fashion Week, the jail purse. She admitted that even though she was handcuffed behind her back while being transported, she was still able to maneuver her hands enough to not to nosh on some cocaine that she had concealed in her bridges. Oh man.
Oh man. And uh Yeah, she she when they asked her where it was, She had said that it was in her personal place. Water house? No. No?
Her personal lady please, Kane. Yeah, that's when we go back to the jail purse.
So she's on bond. She is held still. Sh her bond was 8,000.
So, yeah, she. Looks like a Rugrats character. Uh so that's yeah. Uh let's see, another woman. whose lash extensions are way too long.
Her name is Sandra Friedel. 46. She was booked for felony, grand theft, and boca raton because she stole. A Chanel Purse at the meat market? I don't even know what that is.
Is that an what is the meat market? Florida people are going to tell me instantly. Uh but she went through and then walked out of the restaurant with it.
So I guess it's somebody else's. Bag. And uh Can you imagine? I mean, because the thing is, I guess what she had stolen was almost $8,000. and it had debit cards and a license and all that stuff.
And uh so they got it. She went and sh now it's grand theft because of the price of the bag because the monetary value elevated it.
So, dang, that's pretty Wow. Let's see. We also have. Oh, Velicia County Man was busted. He was trying to flush all his dope down the toilet.
Before the cops got him in Volusho County.
So he's behind bars. He had the police showed up with a search warrant. Antoine Tillman, he was in the driveway, saw the cops, ran back inside, ran in the house, locked the door like that. Was going to do it. They told him to come out.
He bolted out the back door. A brief chase ensued. He was taken into custody. And then, when they went inside, because they were executing a warrant and going through his house, they found tons of cocaine. He was trying to shove everything.
Uh oh you can't flush a gun, but apparently he also tried doing that. I'm not making this up. I'm not even. This is local 10. I'm not making this up.
Uh so he b uh yeah, he oh, and he was also apparently selling Meth and turned to flesh meth, cocaine, fentanyl, and a large gun. They retrieved from the tarlet.
So there you go. That's. What is that? What is that? Who does that?
He was probably really desperate. And he's in jail. He's being held. He didn't make bond. He was probably really desperate if you're going to do that.
Just saying. An angry bird. ambushed a Florida man. right at his front door. And it was all in the ring camera.
It was in Middleburg, Florida. Home security camera recorded 59-year-old Bernard Grisby. He got attacked by an aggressive bird.
So he's getting out of the car. You know, he's going back. You know, he's going to his house. It's a long day after a long day at work. He's going up to his going up to his porch.
He's walking really damn slow, golly. And then he gets, he stumbles because he had the bird came up to him and he had to dive, and then it just kept attacking him. He dropped his phone, he fell on the porch, he's got some scrapes and bumps, and it just kept dive-bombing him.
So I've been paying attention to what's happening with gold and silver lately. And honestly, it's pretty shocking. Gold and silver have risen to record highs in relation to the dollar. And after talking with Colin over at Noble Gold Investments, I really get it. This isn't about trying to time the market.
It's not about chasing some get rich quick opportunity. It's about protecting what you've already worked so hard to build. And when the economy feels uncertain, and when currencies start weakening, when people get nervous about their retirement accounts, historically, they look for stability. And physical gold and silver have always been a part of that conversation. You know, I appreciate, I think, maybe the most that Colin and his team don't pressure people, right?
They don't use hype. They didn't use that with me. They just simply walk me through my options. They answer questions and they treat you with respect. And that matters.
Noble Gold has helped. Helped people protect their savings with physical gold and silver. They've been doing it for nearly a decade with transparency and real customer service. If you want to learn more, download their free wealth protection kit at noblegoldinvestments.com/slash Dana. That's noblegoldinvestments.com/slash Dana.
Get informed and then decide what's right for you and your family. Rewards programs are a lot like pop culture. They can be hard to keep up with, but with Venmo's new rewards program, Venmo Stash, rewards are so easy because the more you do, the more you get. And you choose the bundle of brands you get cash back at. It's giving fiscal queen, it's giving star, it's giving up to 5% cash back at your favorite brands.
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Per month. See terms at venmo.me forward slash stash terms. I'm Rhett Rasmussen of best hotgrill.com/slash hot. Step up your grilling game with Soler Portable Infrared Grills, which are perfect for R Vers, tailgaters, backyards, and a memorable gift.
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I mean, if you ever get a chance to see them live, it's so ridiculously amazing. Welcome back to the program, top of the, or yeah, bottom of the first hour. I don't know what I was going to say. We had, okay, I'm kind of distracted because I was sharing with Kane this earthquake. Revelation on break as we were getting ready.
I'm going to set up this audio for you coming up. I'm going to set this audio up for you, and then we're going to. expand on that. But This dovetails in with it. I grew up my whole life thinking that Morgan Fairchild was gay.
My whole life I thought she was. I thought she was like the lipstick lesbian, right? which now sounds like an X name. Uh like a Twitter name. Or like a podcast or something.
There probably is one. And she's not. And Kane doesn't believe me. Did you Google it? No, no, I haven't.
She played Marla, the girlfriend of Sandra Bernhardt's character on Roseanne in the 90s. Look at that. And. Yeah, that's what it is. But she apparently was not and she's been in other alphabet stuff.
But She's not. I did not know that. I thought my entire life that she was. Who knew? Who knew?
So just, you know, well, working Fairchild knew, but it feels like a Mandela effect thing for me. Yeah, I think. Because I feel like she was the original lipstick. I did too, but apparently we are all wrong. You're right.
It is like the Mandela effect because we all believe this. We're like, oh, yeah, Morgan Farrow.
So, the reason I'm talking about this is because of this audio. I got to set this up. I'm going to read it how it is on the rundown. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Okay. This is hm. CNN brings on a non-binary lesbian to explain the vibes. That children were feeling after President Trump's State of the Union, status maxing, gesture maxing, and aura mocking. Let's go ahead and play.
Are those the names of children? I don't know. I mean, it could be in today's society. Cut 26, please. Generally, the kids describe this as status maxing.
Gesture maxing and aura mogging.
Okay, yeah, so let me break that down for you.
So, gesture maxing is like playing to the crowd and being trying to get people, you know, which he's very good at. Status maxing is aligning himself with people like the men's hockey team and like his success and trying to status max. These things are seen as very uncool by the kids, by the way. And then, aura mogging is when you take the shine of someone who's actually quite successful or good, maybe some of his guests, maybe the World War II veterans he honored, maybe again the men's hockey team, and you are aura mogging. You are stealing their shine for yourself because you do not inhibit yourself the aura.
Alone.
So that was the times.
Okay, so here's my question. Aside from all of the new language that we're hearing. Um What is a non-binary lesbian? Yeah. I couldn't get past that.
Because I'm like, wait. Are you just not satisfied with being a regular Ole? Like, why are you? Why do you have to? It's like being, no, no, that's not bread.
That's that's artisanal bread. Which you know what I mean? I is it because it's not a thing? anymore and so people feel like they've got to make it. Extra asteric-y?
I don't know. Yeah. Astra Ricky, by the way, would be a great DJ name for DJ Fun Uncle, like on the side to do another side project. Just totally head. Esther Ricky.
I but I don't understand why like 'cause non-binary How can you be a lesbian and also non-binary? Isn't that the same? Tough cancels it out. Either you're non-binary or you're binary. It seems like a binary.
I mean, really, it's binary. There's no such thing.
So you're pretending that there's a third option, which is not binary. Is that what they mean? Like, no, I'm non-binary. I'm the third one. Which is?
Yeah. What is that? I just, this is where I get, I can't stand the language. By the way, I'm gonna warn you guys: I'm going to use the words maxine, monging, and all of that to the point where the gen alpha doesn't want to use them anymore. I am going to just constantly be like, you're non-binary lesbian maxine right now with, you know, you're a bitch maxine, stop it.
Or stop. Jester mogging. You know, my aura farm. I don't know. Like what?
Sounds right. Aura Farm also sounds like a subsidiary of Summer's Eve, but that's a whole other thing, too.
So. It's so apparently mogging came from alpha male of the group A mog, and that's you you make somebody else look inferior by comparison, that's what that means.
Okay. As I just did using words. Also that. But um the vibes. First off, I don't believe anybody That talks like that watch the State of the Union unless they were forced to because of their parents.
I don't believe that they did. But also, again, going back to the nod, can we just stop with the nod? Just be a regular old lesbian. Why are you why you got to be special about no, I'm an I gotta be an extra special lesbian. Can't just be a regular broke basic lesbian.
Gotta be non-bionaire. What? I can't stand all. I can't keep track of it anymore. Apparently, there's like 110 frillion different.
Subsidiaries of that. I just can't keep up. And it's not our fault because people keep adding stuff to this ridiculous alphabet. smorgasbord every damn day. I can't.
But yeah, mug, we're just going to use those like looks maxing. Looks, yeah. I know Manosphere, that's been used for a long time. But Looks maxine as somebody who's like more attractive than the other person that they're in the frame with. This is such a hyper-online thing.
This is also hyper-online. Oh my gosh And then apparently you can steal someone's aura if you frame mog them. Meaning you Which I would think is the same thing as looks maxing, isn't it? If you're frame mogging, that means you're already, so a lot of this is just like stupid redundance. Yeah, actually.
There is some overlap. It's like those the Venn diagram stuff. It's not even that, it's the same circle. There's like not even... You know, it's the same circle.
Good night.
So, I don't know. I this this whole thing is just it it's wild and I don't but I I was trying to understand the purpose of this person having this huge thing. About, well, these are the vibes that they were failing, you know, status. I just, that doesn't even make any sense. The guy who was on set.
He looked like he just could not believe what he was hearing. He just kept laughing. He thought it was hysterical. He thought it was absolutely hysterical. Hey, folks, Dana here.
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Soler hot fast grills at besthotgrill.com/slash hot. Yeah. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five.
So the inventor of squatty potty Robert Edwards, who was on Shark Tank, was arrested in Utah for child pornography. Uh is apparently partnered to a guy and has is co-parenting four kids. And he apparently Was arrested with a lot of it. That's disgusting, and he needs to be put to death instantly. I mean, but it is a squatty potty.
I mean, I get, you know, I'm not surprised. You know what I'm saying? I'm not surprised. It's not separate though. I'm like, oh, now it makes sense.
He's a freak. And that's his product, you know. I'm just saying. Let's see. Oh my gosh, Mr.
Beast, who's a weirdo, and I think came out of nowhere as like a studio trick. has some really questionable Sus perverts working for him. He's now his editor has been accused of insider trading on Cal Shi. And this is Dave. Yeah.
Yeah, and apparently there's no remorse either. But an editor for him has been referred to federal regulators for making insider bets on Calci, the prediction market. I'm not surprised by that either. He's got some really weirdo people that Pelosi's walking around all free. Yeah, exactly.
Jasmine Crockett is leading James Tallarico by double digits. Right now, okay, this is a Texas Tribune poll.
Now, at full admission, I haven't broken this down, but. I mean, think about it though. I mean, it's James Tallerico. He comes from the same factory that made John Ossuf and Beta O'Rourke. It's like the Bill Pullman, Bill Paxton of the political world.
They're the same guy. They're all the same, the P. Booty juice. They're all the same people. They're the same people.
Just, you know, FYI. Also, let's see here. Mike Johnson says that the Gonzalez allegations are going to play out in the primary next week.
So I get what he's saying. He's trying not to... Make too big of a mess. And it's not that he's protecting Gonzalez, but the primary is six days away.
So, what better way? If this guy's not going to resign than all the people who are out there supporting Herrera, they need to come out hard and. You know, make sure you're winning. Make sure that you are winning in this primary because this is going to be the way to do it. Teens are overt superheroes and they want to see more.
Whatever this is, connected masculinity on screen. What is that? Uh big I think it's more of an empathetic style of masculinity, is what they're when you're connected to someone. They said. Young people They want to see fathers enjoying parenting, fathers showing love to kids, and young people are not just asking for better dads, they're asking for a reimagining of how men show up in the lives of others.
It's not a reimagining, that's just being a good parent. Stop acting like that's a new thing. New label. I know when you act like it's a new thing, you're not helping it become like rediscovered or restored by acting like it's never existed before.
So that's, you know, that's kind of important, I think. Um Yeah, I mean, the connected parenting. I mean, you could also say that with any parent, with, you know, mothering, fathering, et cetera. Let's see here. Oh, and.
Apparently, a Texas, this is in Texas, a Whataburger manager beat a customer with a trash bag. After they were attacked. This is actually kind of amazing. Oh, sorry, with a trash can. Like, held it up over his head and beat this dude with it.
This is like Waffle House level FAFO, right? And I mean, it was in Dallas, DFW.
So it happened. A 41-year-old was ordered out of the restaurant. He vowed to return later and then assault the manager. And then he came back in and attacked, and the manager retaliated. With a trash can, like a boss.
Stick with us, we got a lot more in store. And it's the only position. It's the only position, Speaker of the House. of Congress that is mentioned. in the Constitution of the United States.
At the time, I was, too, the highest paid person on Capitol Hill as a woman. That was a big deal. Not that I was there for the money. Hmm. Really?
Hmm. Yeah. That's uh Nobody believes that. Nobody believes it. Nobody believes that at all.
Nobody believes it at all. At all. You really she just she she just didn't go into it for the money, guys She was never in Congress for the money. I mean, let me look at something I'm here. First off, welcome back.
Dana Lash with you. We're at the top of the third hour. And Let's see, Anthony's been in Congress. I wanna I'm just mm curious. Curious.
I'm gonna.
So she's added. Ooh. Mm. Let's see how ooh, she's added a lot of money. She's added a lot of money.
to her bank account. Since she's been in Congress. Wow. And I'm sure it's just because she's really good at finance. And, like, guys, guys, guys, guys, she literally made over $130 million.
It's more than that, actually.
Well, I mean, her total net worth is around $280 million. And the stock investments, that's part of through her husband's firm, which is also was driven by insider trading. Wow. Now when she entered Congress in 1987, She and her husband They had about In stocks, about $610,000, right? 1.4 million combined.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, hers alone is $130 million. Combined, it's $281. Yeah. So She didn't get into it. For the money, says nobody ever.
The only reason that I would ever run for office is to totally insider trade. I don't care about anything else. Make hell for the ATF and insider trade. What? That doesn't sound like you.
I'm being honest. All these people are lying to you. I don't give a rat's backside. I would not honestly, I would not. I don't know that I would want to represent anybody that voted for me anyway.
But Because I'm immediately questioning the the decision that you made voting for me. But I would totally insider trade. Oh my gosh, I would absolutely abuse government to go after everybody I hated. Oh my gosh, I totally would. Yeah.
I'm not lying. I'm being dead serious. I'm in my head right now formulating all your campaign commercials. Mm. I can just hear him now.
Yeah, I mean it would be like vote for me because we hate the same people and I'll make their lives hell. You know, and it's like Dana for whatever. It's the only way. Asterisk also inside trade. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you know what? What I'll do, if you donate a lot to my campaign, I'll give you insider trading tips too. I'm sure this is all highly illegal. But is it though? Because Nancy Pelosi can do it.
If you're sharing it with everybody, it seems pretty communal.
Well, yeah, I mean, for a donation. Right. You know, so it's not, you're not paying me. It's a voluntary donation. You know how you can't really...
So, like, for instance, one of my favorite shows is Anything with Jeremy Clarkson, right? Love Jeremy Clarkson. I loved, you know, Top Guy. I loved all of it. Grand Tour, all of it.
And I'd watched his Daily Squat Farm when they first opened their little. diddly squat farm thing they're they're Uh I don't want to say produce stand because they sold the stuff that they made there and then they also did made honey. And then they had t-shirts and hats for sale. But because it was not something that was made, the t-shirts and hats were made, I think, like. I don't know where they imported them in.
They were not technically in England proper. And that's some of their bylaws and everything with Chippy Norton and all of that. They couldn't outright sell them.
So they had, you could get it for a donation.
So, if you donated $15, you'd get a hat. If you donated like $20, $25, you'd get the t-shirt. See what I mean?
So, for the donation, You know, I would give you insider front of my campaign, I'd give you insider trading tips. That seems fair to me. That seems totally fair. And also, I would leak everything about aliens. Yeah.
Everything. Oh my gosh, what do you want to know? Oh man, I will, I'll be like, what's his face who shoved it all in my socks from the skiff? Remember that guy? Yeah.
Oh, man. I see I can just picture now somebody out there is just going to load all this info into AI and you're going to have a boom a 30 second campaign commercial right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, who was that guy? I can't now I can't move past. This Uh Remember, it was the the guy, who was it that shoved all the stuff in his socks and then tried to like shuffle out of the skiff, the secured area. And he ended up going to jail. Started with an S.
Anyway, it's not important. But my whole point is that Nancy Pelosi says, oh yeah, I just, I didn't go in it for the money. It just fell all on my head, the money. It just fell into my lap, all the money that I made from it. No, she made so much money like Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Marjorie Taylor Greene went in with $700,000 total and walked out with over twenty five million. And then, of course, she waited until after her retirement vested for her benefits vested for Congress. And then she, two days after, she left, she resigned her seat. Hmm. Hmm.
And she did that out of protest because she got mad that Trump wouldn't back her absolute loser of a bid for the Senate, which was never going to happen.
So I don't know. But Pelosi says, I wasn't in it for the money.
So the She must be I 130 million compared to 610,000 cane or sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 281 million. compared to 610,000. That's more than 281 times value. And she says she never intended to run for public office, which is a lie.
That's not true either. I know, I'm just saying. Oh, by the way, and this is what she's always said: that her substantial increase in wealth. Was simply attributed to high-performing, well-timed investments. How did that happen?
So wild. I mean, why is she even in Congress? She could have made so much money. Going into wall, like Marjorie Taylor Greene, who knew that Marjorie Taylor Greene was a Wall Street whiz? I'm sure it had nothing to do with insider trading or anything like that.
I mean, come on guys, just saying. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Rhett Rasmussen of besthotgrill.com/slash hot. We make the amazing Soler infrared gas grills that are built to last and will give you better than restaurant-grilled food.
The Soler infrared burner heats up to 1,000 degrees in just three minutes, even in the dead of winter. The high heat locks in the juices and flavor and grills food faster. Learn more about these fantastic USA-made grills at besthotgrill.com/slash hot.
Soler hot fast grills at besthotgrill.com/slash hot. Rewards programs are a lot like pop culture. They can be hard to keep up with, but with Venmo's new rewards program, Venmo Stash, rewards are so easy because the more you do, the more you get. And you choose the bundle of brands you get cash back at. It's giving fiscal queen, it's giving star, it's giving up to 5% cash back at your favorite brands.
Just pick a bundle of your go-to spots. Spots to shop with your Venmo debit card and earn cash back at them. Do more, get more with Venmo Stash. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA. Venmo Stash bundle terms and exclusions apply.
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