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Granger for the ones who get it done. Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I got a good guy Florida Man story.
There's video of it too. It's crazy.
So. This is channel 8. It's the ABC affiliate there.
So Brevard County, a Florida man, a good Samaritan. He saw two toddlers, one On Sunday, walk out. How many lanes is this? I'm looking at the video. It was a four lane.
Busy highway. And these two toddlers just ran out in the middle of the road. And he was driving and he saw it. It was all caught on Dash Cam video. He ran out there.
He said, I was terrified. He ran out there, grabbed them. Um took got them to safety. There were two little girls that were in the middle of the road. He said he grabbed the first one, picked up the second one.
He said it maybe took six seconds, but he said it was the most terrifying six seconds of his life because the cars were flying by. He was like, they couldn't see them, they were so little tiny. They went looking for their parents. They found an Airbnb nearby, knocked on the door, no one answered. No one hurt him.
He went to the back gate of this house, and apparently that's how the kids got out. Their parents were clueless. By the way, toddlers aren't dogs. You can't just throw them in the backyard and be like, okay, that. He said there was an elderly couple and a young girl and they went, Oh my gosh, we're so sorry.
He didn't call police. Um, and he and his wife have five kids and grandchildren. Uh, Brevor County Sheriff's Office confirmed there were no police, but can you keep an eye on your damn kids? Like, I've got kids too, my kids never. got out and wandered in the middle of the street.
You've got to be careful. You can't just like let them go into the backyard. I mean, good grief. But I'm so glad this guy, I'm so glad he found them. He was the one who found them and got them to safety and ran out there.
Thankfully, one of the oncoming cars saw what was happening and stopped. But he was able to get them right out of the road. You know what I was thinking too when I was watching and Juan's showing you the videos? Do you? I mean, oh my gosh.
I mean, just two kids out there with no, I'm, oh my gosh, it just freaks me out. Thank God this man was the one who found them. But the drivers, do you think that they were like, man, how are your kids in the middle of the road? You know, I wonder. But they were apparently at this Airbnb, so I don't know.
Uh A floating man allegedly threw bricks at a random vehicle before he hid in a canal. Yeah. Who li what lives in canals, Kane? Alligators. Mm-hmm.
He was throwing bricks at like random vehicles. Also, please, the inquirer. The first sentence: A Florida man is facing charges after he threw bricks. Why is brick a singular possessive? Mm-hmm.
Did is it bricks at a random vehicle? Do they possess that? No. Oh my gosh, learn grammar. You don't need an apostrophe, just the S will do.
Then he fled into the nearby woods, hidden a canal. I can't believe he didn't get eaten by a Gator. But of course, guess what? The police got him. He was booked in Lee County Jail on charges of criminal mischief and use of a deadly weapon.
That's how they're classifying their brick, the use of a deadly weapon. I have a woman who got arrested. She threw collar greens and threatened victims with a skillet. She has more hair than any woman of her age I've ever seen. 58 years old, and it looks like she's loaded with extensions.
But according to the dryness of her hair, that's hers. And it was a food altercation, battery-aggravated assault. She got booked for several things. Are you being lied to about your retirement? I mean, the advice sounds familiar.
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That's 40% off at lifelock.com/slash iHeart. Heart. Terms apply. Yeah. So, um, you guys remember Flat Stanley?
Steve, did you do a flat Stanley? Um I it sounds familiar. It might have been elementary school for me. Yeah, yeah, it would have totally been an elementary school thing. Can you remember Flat Stand?
I'm not even asking Juan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The kid that was in the middle of the day. Flat Steam, he just jumped over Juan's generation. Bulletin board, flat, like one-dimensional.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a book series. And it's a this dude, his name's Stanley Lambchop. And he became flat because he got hit. Like a bulletin board fell on him and it flattened him.
And he used that to his advantage.
So he'd slide under doors and you could put him in envelopes and send him around. By the way, you could, apparently, you could mail kids at one point. Anyway, so yeah, that's a Flat Stanley. Flat Stanley traveled everywhere, right?
So Take that. and mix it with some meth. And craziness. Why? And uh now we got time traveling Charlie Kirk.
Sounds like a book. If I was Erika Kirk, I legit would come up with a children's series called Time Traveler Charlie Kirk.
Sometimes I feel like some people take Doctor Who seriously. And this may be one of those instances.
So I can't even believe I'm addressing this because I feel like I'm slumming it by addressing this kind of stuff. It's like pointing out the floater in the pool, right? Like, there it is. You know, the content is so bad. I can't believe we're talking about stuff like this with everything else going on.
Anyway.
So there was this accusation that apparently Candace Owens is pushing that Charlie Kirk is she's doing everything she can to stay relevant and to make money. Because what happens, TPUSA made her. What happens after all of this dissipates and goes away? She is left with her gay husband and nothing else. Like what else?
What is she gonna do? What's she gonna talk about? Aliens? She offers you Kool-Aid, don't take it. Don't drink the Kool-Aid.
Don't go with her to a tropical location and enjoy some Kool-Aid. Don't do it.
So apparently Charlie Kirk is a time traveler. and agents were monitoring him from childhood. and he was killed because of the space-time continuum. I'm not making this up. I'm sorry.
See this, and you do too. Go ahead. Why did Charlie think he was a time traveler? He said, as I showed you in earlier messages, that he was a time traveler and he had to find me. Is that just something people are saying to their homies in text messages?
And again, not anything that. I would have placed so much emphasis on back when he was saying it, but. It came to fruition. The other parts, he did die young. Why did he think that him dying young was necessary in order to change things?
He did die young. Oh my god. In some way or another, at the very least, we could all agree it's related to him speaking at a campus event for Turning Point USA. I'm totally occupied by this. I tell you.
We are all dumber for having heard that.
So, somebody makes a joke about being a time traveler, and for clicks. Wow, he's a time traveler, and he was killed by agents for upsetting the space Tom continuum. And also, something about Jews, but whatever. I'm sure she blamed them later on. I just couldn't literally.
I couldn't abort enough brain cells required to listen to all of that in its entirety. Um yeah, so he was a time traveler and also she thought he w he she was apparently an alien because the text was a joke. People apparently had Um And it was a text message apparently from like 10 like maybe 10 years ago. It was a really long time ago because she doesn't have anything new. Remember, he didn't want anything to do with her later on.
And he she wasn't even invited to his wedding. She wasn't even at his wedding.
So he apparently made a joke Where he was like, she said, I'm an alien. And he goes, I think I'm a time traveler. And he was just joking. Clearly, anybody with a brain cell can see that.
So she needs to continue the grift. Right, so now it's going to be he's a time traveler and he was killed because of the space-time continuum. Who watches this? I mean, maybe other than Qataris. Who watches this?
It's like cult-ish. I don't get this. This is just. Nuts. This is really, I don't know, I don't have any words for this.
But at least like she stopped talking about to jews for five seconds, right? I don't I don't know. I wish I was a time traveler and I could go back in time and pretend that I've never heard of her. I always think about it in the context of if I heard someone at the grocery store talking like this. Like what would I do?
I'd probably put my groceries back on the shelf and go to another store. I mean, if he was a time traveler, why didn't she go? Why didn't she ask him? Why didn't she ask him why he never went back in time and killed baby Hitler? Right.
Or and by the way, is he from the future or the past? Yeah, is it future Charlie or past Charlie? I mean, this is just. It's like It's Grievance, clickbait, prostitution. I have no other way to describe it.
I just, I mean, not talking about Iran, not talking about some of the domestic issues or Minnesota. It's just all this. It's just a hyper-obsession. With this, But when that dissipates and when You know, the the time claims the time establishes the legacy and claims the immediacy. What is she left with?
Nothing. Nothing. She her relevancy comes entirely from TPUSA. TPUSA made her. And then she fell out of, she like apparently got crazy or was always crazy.
And she was always on the left, though. Let's not pretend that she wasn't. She got started by suing some, she got started with racial hustling. She claimed that someone was like racist to her at her school and sued them with the NAACP. That's like, and then she created a website like in 2015 where she was doxing conservatives.
And she apparently was on the side of the third and fourth wave feminists with Gamergate. And then now, because it makes her money, she thinks, you know, let's go ahead and, and now you can see, you can only pretend so long before the wheels fall off. And that's kind of what this is. I just think, you know, Dustbin of History will have something else to add to its collection here for sure. I just, I don't know.
I just find that insane. Just the stuff that she's put his widow through with her insanity, I don't know. I just, I don't even find it compelling. Like, I'm bored to death talking about it. I can't even imagine anybody listening to it.
I would imagine it's like bot viewership, too, because I am bored to tears. That's boring ass content. That's boring. I'm bored talking about it, so I'm moving on. And unless she like I don't know.
Shows me an alien. Or actually provides any proof of anything she's ever discussed, I'm just not interested. I see basic bees on Instagram provide more compelling things.
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I've got my game day routine. coffee, jersey laid out, and my lucky playlist. But the real game changer? New morning uncrustables sandwiches. I've always loved uncrustable sandwiches, and now I'm all about the new flavors with 12 grams of protein.
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So, an official probe into a massive Venezuelan, or Venezuelan, Verizon, can you tell what's coming up next? Verizon outage uncovers a likely trigger that apparently cut service for thousands across the United States. They think that it was a network server in New Jersey that was the likely trigger of it. It was a day-long, I didn't notice, I didn't have any, I didn't notice anything. Of course, you know, we have Patriot Mobile, so they have coverage on all three major networks.
And I didn't notice anything, I gotta tell you, but they began looking at hours long. Isn't there, I read somewhere and I was trying to find it, isn't it true that they have to pay a fine because If you go down, you still have to be able to call emergency services. And if you can't, then it's an FCC issue. I have heard that actually. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's that.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
So that's something, I do think that that's something that they're going to have to deal with, the Verizing People, anyway.
So thankfully, that's been restored for everybody. People paying $99 a month to talk, they're paying $99 a month to talk to a Tony Robbins chat bot. Self-help guru. they started offering these little AI chatbot services. And it's like personalized.
It promises personal. I can't believe people pay $99 a month for that. It's not him. A month. Yeah.
A month. Not a year? A month. Man. A month.
I have to say it one more time. This is in the Wall Street Journal. It's a month. $99 a month to talk to a Tony Robbins AI chatbot. I'm sensing opportunities here, Kane.
A lot of them. Scientists are discovering a bizarre form of water that's both a solid and a liquid. Interesting. They said that it's simultaneously both of these, that oxygen atoms are locked into a crystal. while hydrogen flows freely, they found the They call it super ionic ice.
It has a jumbled structure that mixes two different crystal arrangements, and it exists on Uranus and Neptune. And they said that this Kind of, it might offer insight into why the planets have like these weirdly tilted magnetic fields. And they've had all of these contradictory experimental results over the years.
So now they're thinking that this, and apparently, this was something that's also affirmed by a quantum computer simulation. Kane says he calls it a slushy. I'm less scientific. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, I think it's a slushy.
It's just a giant slushy. Media Matters says it's ending its presence on X because they don't have a monopoly on the narrative. Media Matters, which is a cesspool of an organization that is staffed by people who lotion up George Soros at night and they don't accept advertising because they get privately funding from Nepo Babies, Nepo Rich Socialist. That's who funds Media Matters.
So I don't, and I hate the bulwark. That's where this came from, this headline. I can't stand the bulwark because it's the right version of Media Matters. And I say the right loosely, by the way. No, Media Matters is ending its presence on X because it's a giant pansy and it can't dominate the narrative and it can't lie about people.
Media Matters like actually libeled me. They try to get me fired from CNN. They try to get me fired from every job that I've ever had. They used to make up quotes and attribute them to me. And they stalked me relentlessly.
I had a reporter named Joe Strupp who stalked me every event. He actually was nice, and I would joke about why they couldn't unionize over there. The majority of Americans across the country regardless of political party, know that immigrants from all over the world, Somalia, India, wherever they're from, Latin America, Africa, that immigrants have built this country and make this country what it is today. Immigrants were part of it, but not those immigrants. That's just a flat-out lie from Premia Jayapal, a communist history reconnor, who apparently is a racist also.
Welcome back to the program, Bottom of the Second Hour, Dana Lash with you. No, it wasn't Somalis that built the country, and it wasn't Africans that built the country, and it wasn't Latinos that built the country. In fact, the dominant heritage of people who built the country were British. They were Scottish, they were Irish. They were English.
That was it. He had a lot of Germans, a lot of Dutch, a lot of French. All of those were the entities that actually built the United States of America. In fact, In my home state of Missouri, St. Genevieve, beautiful town.
That was a German and French uh settlement that grew.
So, this idea that it was all these people that came over and built this is stupid. That's not real history. That's retconning everything. The earliest settlements, the earliest permanent settlements were English. Jamestown.
Plymouth. All of it. They were all English. They all had their own core foundations. They were Christian.
Settlements. And then the diversity in the early days was between the English and the German. And then you had the Pennsylvania Dutch, and then you had the French Huguenots, and then you had the Scots and Irish, and all the other things. That's the diversity. Of the immigration system.
And they were people. By the way, do you know how we know all this? Do you know how we have records of all of this? Would you like to know? All of these people came here and they registered.
One might say they did it legally. That's how we are able to know. Pretty crazy, isn't it? They came here. legally.
Now half of my ancestry was already here. And then I had some ancestors that came in from Norway through Scotland, and then they ended up coming through the Carolinas, and they registered. And then I know that I had an ancestor with the last name of Sutton who was hung off the coast of the Carolinas for piracy. We know that because of records.
So when people are tracking THIS American History and the Heritages. It's because people came here legally and they registered, and you can track it.
So the English was they were dominant in the beginning. And then it started shifting into German and Dutch and Irish populations. I mean, that's ultimately that's what happened. That's what ended up happening.
So You can argue that the labor force later on when people want to make arguments. when they talk about slavery, etcetera. Which, by the way, Irish were also enslaved. I mean it's all horrible, but let's not let's not make it more horrible by pretending it only happened to one subgroup. The Arab world still employs slaves today.
Over 95% of Qatar is literally a slave population that they bring in. That's not an exaggeration. That's God's honest fact. That's a slave population.
So the Arab world. heavily. They still benefit from slavery. Today, Qatar is a slave nation built by slaves. That's a fact.
So This idea that, you know, yes, it's all it's all horrible, but you don't make it more horrible by pretending that it didn't happen or that it only happened to one subgroup in particular. Hell, Kane, how long was it before they had that yet an Irish president? It was Kennedy, right? Yeah. Right.
I mean for the he was Catholic too, and that was a big deal back then.
So This idea what she's saying here is just stupid DEI gibberish. That's Marxist critical race theory. And Marxist critical race theory, which was really popularized on campuses in the 60s and 70s by pseudo-academic Derek Bell. I've been writing about this since 2012. He wanted to popularize this in American colleges, and he went to various American universities to lecture on it.
And it replaces the variable of economic status in the Marxist formula with Heritage with that sort of unchosen, uncreated identity with which you were born. And it tries to divide people in that regard.
So, critical race theory, from that came DEI and everything else. That is where, that's how all of that was promoted into being. And the reason that it was promoted into being was because they wanted to go after the very construct of this republic. If you make the foundation weak, then maybe all of it can topple. It's like if you play Jenga and you take enough pillars away at the bottom, the whole thing will risk collapse.
And that's the purpose of these sorts of Marxist psychological attacks, the retconning of history. I mean, you could say Irish and Chinese immigrants, they actually performed the bulk of the backbreaking labor building the railroad system. That's a fact.
It wasn't Somalis, and it sure as it wasn't Somalis. wasn't Africans. It wasn't Latinos, it was the Irish and the Chinese that built the railroads. I mean, how far do you want to go with this? I don't think that immigrants like Premia Jayapal need to lecture Americans about our history.
I think perhaps maybe she should work a little bit harder at understanding the history of the nation that she purports to represent instead of trying to colonize us with the retconning of her version of our history. I don't appreciate that. I'm tired of tolerating it. I'm tired of treating it in any kind of courteous manner because it's a malicious, demonic lie, and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of people being told that they have to be ashamed of who they are or where they come from.
It's very interesting how racism is always applied by the left, but whenever they're held to account, they want to dodge it most vigorously. This is insane. I mean, how far do we want to go with this stuff? I mean this is This is, that's the history of this nation.
Now, we are E. pluribus unum, but here's one important fact that you need to remember with E. pluribus unum, and that is assimilation. Go back to any nation in history. I mean, again, I gave the example of Rome with the Goths and what happened when they stopped practicing the principle of e pluribusunum and stopped demanding assimilation and stopped accepting more than what their economic structure could actually withhold.
It's not cruel to deny entry when your structure, when your republic can't even accommodate it. That's actually being merciful to the people who have been there the longest and have paid the most into it and have done the most to promote and build it. You don't punish those people. by trying to assuage the vanity of those who want in.
So, no, Premier J. Apoll, I find that to be. Illiberal. anti-intellectual. and so stupid.
That it's offensive because of the sheer stupidity of the phrase.
So that's the truth about that. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Rewards programs are a lot like pop culture. They can be hard to keep up with, but with Venmo's new rewards program, Venmo Stash, rewards are so easy because the more you do, the more you get.
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Visit lifelock.com/slash iHeart. Terms apply. This is Julie Nettleman from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jules. Sunday mornings, I've got my game day ritual. Coffee.
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