Uh The clock's running out on December deal drops at lows, but there's still time to wrap up something they'll love. Shop great gifts under $50, like the DeWalt Elite Series 100-piece bit set. Plus, if you order by 2 p.m., you get same-day delivery by 8 p.m. Shop December deal drops while you can. Flows.
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It's his life mission to make bad decisions. Yeah. It's time for Florida man. Mm-hmm. All right, so first up.
A uh Florida man set his truck on fire to draw attention to other criminal matters, said a detective. Malicia County man is facing arson charges after deputies say that he set his truck on fire. To draw attention to something else in the neighborhood via for per the arrest affidavit, 43-year-old Michael Hudson used a torch lighter to set fire to a clothing basket in his truck. And he said at first that his truck was stolen and then he admitted to starting the fire. And then he said that he started the fire.
To draw attention to some other criminality that he didn't actually specify. Hmm. Yeah, okay.
So it sounds like he just was it sounds like he was trying to scheme insurance and it didn't work out for him. Oh I don't want this one. I don't want the fucking. This is a naked Florida man that ran into traffic and he got hit by a car, and it's all on video, of course. Oh my gosh.
For i I don't even want to think about the road rash.
So he um Not a stitch of clothes, not a stitch of clothing on him. Ran out in the middle of the street, gets hit. By a car as he ran through a busy intersection. Like, what did you think was going to happen? Oh man.
And then he popped right back up and he'd try to keep running. He was apprehended and placed under. uh Florida's Baker Act so they could evaluate him. Apparently, he was super high as a kite. Oh, no way.
And he kept running out into traffic, obviously, very dangerous. The driver of the car actually went to the police station because he hit him, but then the guy popped up and ran away. The driver was trying to do the right thing. And the driver of the car went to the police station to report it. And so that's how they were able.
And it was pretty easy to find him because he was a crazy looking naked guy running into traffic everywhere.
So it was very easy to find out who he was. And to take him into custody.
So, yeah, that didn't go that well for him. And deputies busted three people who are accused of giving kids counterfeit money to spend at Florida businesses. In Polk County, a kid, bless its little heart, three little kids had fake cash. They were buying stuff at businesses, and a child told the investigators that these adults gave them $20 bills and told them to go buy stuff at the store and bring them back the change.
So the two suspects were charged with the scheme to defraud, petty theft, uttering forged bills, conspiracy to commit fraud, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and then also a number of other charges.
So these I feel bad for these kids. That's so ignorant. Oh, but they said that the kids because the kids were asked, well, where did you get the money? And they said, oh, well, we got them from. One of the women's names is Beyonce Stanton.
Of course it is.
So she looks like a rug rats character. But yeah, they said that the other the adults were inside the vehicle and they'd send the kids in to go and make these purchases. They had five hundred or sorry, $400 in currency. Uh 500 total. Uh and They even use it at a Taco Bell, a couple of different stores, Dollar General.
And yeah, that's so sad. I wonder it doesn't say because apparently they got a toy. And it doesn't say whether or not they had to give those back. or something it doesn't say but I man can you imagine? I know, I bet they kind of thing that they probably did too.
We've got more on the way as we roll towards the third hour of the program. Stay with us. As we head into the holidays, it's not just about gifts. It's also about gratitude, reflection, and protecting what really matters, your family, your future, and your financial security.
So Colin Plume at Noble Gold Investments has explained how quickly things have changed this year, markets, inflation, even job security. Your money should be working for you, not fighting against you. And with gold on the rise and the dollar slipping, it's clear why generations have turned to gold and silver to help bring stability to their financial future. When you're sitting around the table with your family, it's only natural to think about protecting what you've built so it's still there for your kids and your grandkids. Before you check out for the holidays, though, do one smart thing for your future.
Visit noblegoldinvestments.com slash Dana and download their free gold and silver guide. When you open a qualified account, you'll receive 10 one-ounce commemorative silver holiday coins. Visit NobleGoldInvestments.com. This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturistos with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
Hey, Bowen, it's gift season. Oh, stressing me out. Why are all the people I love so hard to shop for? Like me? Exactly.
Honey, I'm easy. But you're right. Holiday gifting is stressful. And all the gift guides out there are boring and uninspired. Wait, what about the guide we made?
In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts mean incredible value? It's giving gifts! A series of guides filled with premium gifts at great value for everyone on your list. Yeah, because if I see one more for the dad who likes golf list, I'm out. Right?
How about something for the people who actually surprise you? With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, ps, she wants a pair of stilettos. Or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have. Dying to see what those are. And you won't believe their prices.
Just wait till you see what else is in there. It's basically a one-stop shop for everyone you know. I started bookmarking half the list for myself, honestly. This is the guide for the 2025 holiday gifting season. Check out the guide on marshalls.com.
It's giving gifts. Gift the good stuff at Marshalls. Uh The clock's running out on December deal drops at Lowe's, but there's still time to wrap up something they'll love. Shop great gifts under $50, like the DeWalt Elite Series 100-piece bit set. Plus, if you order by 2 p.m., you get same-day delivery by 8 p.m.
Shop December deal drops while you can. Flows. We help you save. This is kind of an older video, but it's been making the rounds. And it's uh Star Wars actor John Buega.
He's been, what was the other movie that he was in? It was right around the time that he did the Star Wars. It it was the one where they were fighting kaijus and he was in the big robot and all that. Oh yeah. I don't don't You don't need to tell me.
But anyway, uh He's been in a few films. He was in the, you know, obviously remember the Disney one with that date, what is her name? Daisy Ridley or whatever her name is. He was in with her, and yeah, The Force Awakens. He was, you know, he was pretty good in that.
Although I thought it got dirty, and it was the whole film just blew. It blew. It was really bad. I mean, all of it's been bad and horrific for a long time. I don't watch any of it anymore.
But what gets me about this and I wanted to play this real quick because I feel like he's complaining so much that he's ruining himself. And then he decides to kind of go after fans. The franchise. And like I said, I know this was a little older, but it's just now like really making the rounds. There's a perspective on this that I think some people lose.
Go ahead and play part of this. I hear what he says here. They're pandering. Let me tell you, Star Wars always had the vibe of being in the most whitest elite space. This is a franchise that's so white that it's like a black person existing in that was something.
And you can always tell it's something when some Star Wars fans try to say, well, you know, we had Lando Calvissi and then had Sammy L. Jackson. It's like telling me how many cookie chips are on the cookie dough. I'm like, bruv, it's just, they just scattered that in there, bro. They're okay with us playing the best friend, but once we touch their heroes, once we lead, once we trailblaze, it's like, oh my god, it's just a bit too much.
So he's like going after the fandom. This is what makes me mad. First off, I think this is just stupid for him to do, number one. Number two, When that movie came out, So China is notoriously racist. I know you guys remember some of these stories during COVID when there was a lot of racial animus during COVID over there with anyone who is.
was blackened in China. Um but they're notoriously racist. And in order to have access. to China's theaters. they had to make certain compromises.
They had to make certain compromises. I'm looking to see because I was trying to remember how many theater screens China has. They got I know they have a ton, over 90,000 cinema screens. Wow.
So that's a lot. That's a chunk of money that these Hollywood studios want to be able to access.
So they have over 90,000, almost 91,000 cinema screens. And The government has a target of having 100,000 cinema screens.
Now, in order to get a cinematic release in China, it has to actually go through the CCP. The CCP has to evaluate it. there has to be something. It cannot speak negatively of China. It can't you can't have discussions on Taiwan, nothing like that.
There's been two instances where this has really come to light when the last Top Gun that was made When that was being made, remember the hubbub over a Taiwanese flag patch on Maverick's jacket? And Tencent, which is a Chinese entity, they bought Blizzard, they're involved in COD now, they're really heavily invested into gaming now. Along with making a lot of films in Hollywood, when Tencent, they were a huge production partner for Top Gun. And they wanted that flag removed off the jacket.
So they digitally removed it from the jacket, and then some of those stills got out, and then people started calling it out. There was a ton of pushback.
So then they decided to include the flag patch back on the jacket, and China got mad and they pulled funding, and it was a disaster, and they were They told them they were going to allow them to have a cinematic release, a theatrical release in China, etc. When Quentin Tarantino did once upon a time in Hollywood. There was a scene when Brad Pitt was fighting uh Um Oh my gosh, I can't think of his name now, Bruce. Cain.
Well Are you listening? Who is. Karate. Bruce, Lee, thank you. Never mind, I'll answer myself.
Go back to scrolling, doom scrolling.
So the when Quentin Tarantino had that scene where Brad Pitt was fighting Bruce Lee China was mad about that because Bruce Lee was Chinese and they thought that it was making one of their. Cultural icons look weak, and they demanded the scene either be altered and reshot or cut entirely. And Tarantino told them to pound sand.
So, as a result, they did not allow them to have a cinematic release in China.
So, they're very strict about this stuff. Which brings me to the Star Wars story.
So Star Wars, when they came out with this film and they had all their marketing and John Boyga was on it, China demanded that John Boega be removed from all of the marketing. Juan has a side-by-side. This is just one of a ton of examples. This is one of the main posters. They literally took him out of all the marketing because China objected to a black actor.
Being in the marketing materials. They did not want to acknowledge that a black actor was in this film. And as part of the agreement to have access to those 90,000 cinema screens in China, They had Disney had to remove him from everything and Disney did. They acquiesced and they took him off of all of the promo materials in China. He didn't do any of the promo for it there, none of it.
They acted like he just wasn't even in existence. Do you know who defended John Boyga? When this happened, The fandom. defended John Boyga when that happened. The phantom was livid.
And they raised absolute hell. I wrote about it when it happened. I remember that. They people were apoplectic over this.
So to attack the fans. and act like they weren't the ones. Who who were defending him. His studio didn't even stand by him. But the fandom did.
But then to act as though They Have a problem with a black character, a fandom that was raised on Lando Calarizian? Really? I was at a Comic-Con once. And I walked in. And there was a line that was like a mile long.
And I'm like, what is this? Who's that? Thinking it's a. I'm not kidding you, I don't mean to say this to be diminishing. But it was Billy D.
Williams' son, not even Billy D. Williams, his son. The son of the actor who played Lando Calarazian had one of the longest lines. at the Comic-Con in Dallas several years ago when I was there. Hands to sky.
Looked at my husband and I'm like, that's not even Billy D. Williams. It's his son. That's how popular of a character Lando Calarizian was. He was an OG member of the Star Wars universe.
And there are others, but that's the one I just happened to see at Comic-Con. And he had one of the longest lines of anybody there. I could not believe it. His son, But that just goes to show you the loyalty of the fandom.
So John Boyega turning on them like this not only is incredibly disrespectful, but it's a betrayal of the very fandom that defended him when Disney dropped him. when Disney refused to even acknowledge his existence in the film so they could get access to those 90,000 Chinese theater screens. when they removed him from all the marketing materials. when they cut him out of all the press runs. And the the uh media avails.
The phantom stood by him.
So it's stupid for him to sit here and bitch and act like the fandom has the problem. Disney had the problem. The fandom defended him. He needs to check himself and remember that. And he needs to stop bitching all the time.
Oh my gosh. At some point, you do need to ask yourself: is it because? of race or you're just a bad actor. Because it's not an issue of race. You know, we Have, I mean, golly, if we're gonna sit here and run down the actors list, I mean, this is insane.
But I just thought that was really incredibly disrespectful because those fans were the only ones defending him. Disney was silent. They didn't they didn't want to rock the boat. They didn't want to upset China. Not at all.
They were trying to do everything in their power. And the fandom called them out. That's it's incredibly important to remember. Folks over at Keltech, they have a new program out called the Peacekeeper Program with Keltech. And what the Peacekeeper program is, is about security, it's about protection, things of that nature, with either churches or schools, things like that.
The Peacekeeper participants, the program, if you're involved in church security teams. You know, SROs. Usually, everybody has, you know, small concealable pistols. What the Peacekeeper program aims to do is make available folding rifles, so rifles that can fold up for discrete carry, but yet can deploy in seconds with full rifle capability. And it's an active program already.
A number of churches and some schools have already used it. And Keltech has been working with the Faith-Based Security Network on it. And they get access to peer training and security insights and also Peacekeepers pricing for budget-conscious organizations. If you want to learn more about the Keltech Peacekeepers program, you can use the contact form at keltechweapons.com/slash Dana. That's that Peacekeepers program.
Fill out that application: Keltechweapons.com/slash Dana. This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culturalistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture Eastas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey, Bowen, it's gift season. Oh, stressing me out.
Why are all the people I love so hard to shop for? Like me? Exactly. Honey, I'm easy. But you're right.
Holiday gifting is stressful. And all the gift guides out there are boring and uninspired. Wait, what about the guide we made? In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts mean incredible value? It's giving gifts!
A series of guides filled with premium gifts at great value for everyone on your list. Yeah, because if I see one more for the dad who likes golf list, I'm out. Right? How about something for the people who actually surprise you? With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, ps, she wants a pair of stilettos.
Or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful, I really shouldn't have. Dying to see what those are. And you won't believe their prices. Just wait till you see what else is in there. It's basically a one-stop shop for everyone you know.
I started bookmarking half the list for myself, honestly. This is the guide for the 2025 holiday gifting season. Check out the guide on marshalls.com. It's giving gifts. Gift the good stuff at Marshalls.
Uh The clock's running out on December deal drops at Lowe's, but there's still time to wrap up something they'll love. Shop great gifts under $50, like the DeWalt Elite Series 100-piece bit set. Plus, if you order by 2 p.m., you get same-day delivery by 8 p.m. Shop December deal drops while you can. Lows.
We help, you save. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. Oh, so a NATO chief is saying, Oh, we must prepare for the scale of war that our grandparents endured. Wait, what?
You want us to prepare? We're not the greatest generation, but you want us to fight like we are? What? NATO, stop it, NATO. NATO wants, some of these EU countries definitely want to get us into a war.
It's ridiculous. Oscar Meyer is opening applications to drive the Wiener Mobile. That time of year. Every year they do this. They do this every year.
Yeah, because they ramp up the spring and summer when they take the Wiener Mobile out everywhere. I wonder how difficult that is to drive. There's several of them out there. And what's all in there? What?
Well, what's all in the Wiener Mobile? I mean, it's the big vehicle. Yeah, it's just a big wiener-shaped vehicle. I I'm just curious. There's I mean, I'm looking at pictures of it.
How many people does it seat? Oh, it seats a lot. Oh, oh, Travel and Leisure has a whole thing 27 foot long wiener mobile. You can drive it. I just have a feeling it probably doesn't dry very well.
And the headlights are tiny. But do you drive it at night? Like, where do they store it? I've never seen it driven at night.
So I don't think so. It's like a bus. It's like a mini bus. They are large. They're enormous.
I've seen one in person. Have you seen one up close and in person? I've never seen one in person in my life. Yeah, no, they're pretty big. The original one looks ridiculous.
This one looks like a spaced. Yeah. I keep seeing these photos, and I just, I'm not gonna be able to finish the show today because this is ridiculous. We're just gonna make fun of this for the rest. Anyway, you can fit like a million people in this thing.
And it has like a little mustard and ketchup carpet on the inside. I mean, I hate the color combo, but it's you know, it's a hot dog. What are you gonna do? Also, we got hot. Anyway, the whole point of me bringing that up is you don't want Waymo.
Can you imagine a Waymo wiener mobile? No, no one can. No one can. Sneaky dogs. Let a horse and steer run amok in an Australian lawmaker's living room.
The pet cam. He checked in on his dogs. Only to find that they let in a horse and a steer in his actual living room. A steer and named Sue gingerly wandered into the home, followed by Cricket, the pet horse. And And then they hung out inside 'cause they had air conditioning.
And the dogs were nuzzling them and inviting them inside on the pet camp. What that is, but it doesn't say what kind of dogs they are. That's like probably a golden retriever. I was told golden retrievers. It kind of looked like a greyhound, that one dog.
Really? I was told golden retrievers, if somebody tries to break in your house, they will excitedly show the burglar where the vault is and help them load their backs. Yep, that is true. Yeah, that's what I've heard because they're so friendly. Google is going to deploy a second AI in Chrome to make sure the first AI doesn't sell you out to criminals.
Well, that sounds real encouraging. Google announced that they're going to add a second artificial intelligence system to their browser that's tasked with preventing the first one from doing what everybody said that it would do when Google added it three months ago. Which was to give all your stuff to criminals. We need the three branches of AI. I mean, keep everybody in check.
Yeah, who's going to keep this AI in check? And then you're going to need an AI overlord to keep that one in check. I don't know. A uh a shoe with a foot in it. Washed up on a beach.
This is, I don't know what beach this is. This is in K-I-R-O, Washington, Sequim, Washington, Sequine, Washington. a white sneaker with a foot in it washed up on the shores. of the beach.
Somebody's missing a foot and a shoe. The police responded. It had a presence of bones and human tissue inside the shoe. It was a puma and it had sharpie markings on the exterior. They are trying to figure out.
What? What that is. They said no other additional suspicious items were in the area, like another foot. Nobody's reporting that they're missing a foot. Yeah, how do you just miss a foot?
And foot. How do you miss one? I don't know. We got more on the way. Stick with us.
Welcome back to the program. A couple of odds and ends. You know there's a new monkey pox strain that they found, Kane? Of course. Monkey Pox.
Remember how that uh spread? Yeah, I do remember reading up about that. Do you know?
So the monkey pox it spreads by Uh whorish, uh gay whores. I mean, I don't know how else to put it. Accurate. It's accurate, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's scientific. It's like spreading through England.
So there's a Christmas, a little happy little Christmas story for you. People are like, what in the world? Oh my gosh. So, we're a couple things, I guess. The uh first um br b Supergirl trailer.
More horrible programming.
So they're ruining Star Trek, making it Glee in Space.
So they're ruining Star Trek. They are What's the other one that we talked about just the other day? Star Trek. The uh That was another one that they're. I can't even remember because I have no interest.
I'm not going to be. I don't really watch Netflix except for the great. British Baking Show. That's literally the only thing that I watch on Netflix. Anyone who's been paying attention to their list whenever they open up Netflix can see that there's a lot of LGBTQ programming pushed, there's a lot of social and medical narrative things pushed.
Um it's been going on for not just recently, but I would say at least a handful of years it's been trending that way.
So now we have Supergirl. I don't like Marvel, or not Marvel DC. I'm not a DC fan. I always thought Batman was whiny. I said it.
I said it. I said the unpopular thing. He was whiny. What did he whine about? And I hated everyone except for Michael Keat and Val Kilmer.
They were all horrible, except for those two. That's it. Christian Bale was okay, but he was so. Emo. in it.
But whiny, it's like, okay, Joker kills your dad. All right, move on. You know, I don't know. I just. It's quite a reduction.
It's just not a reduction, it's just an honest reaction. I mean, I grew up my whole life, Batman's whining. I, you know, come on, you're rich. You got a mansion, you got Alfred, you know, you got no shortage of women that would stay with you for the rest of their lives. What's there to complain about?
Get over it, right? It could be a lot worse. You have a Batmobile for crying out loud. You dress up like a synthetic furry. Stop.
So I never got into it. And Superman, I like Superman. You know. I like how Superman tries to pretend to be weak, like all the other people. That's his disguise.
So this new Supergirl trailer though is about Here's the headline from Not the Bee. It's an apathetic drunk girl boss whose dog urinates on a picture of Superman. Oh that's great. There's one phrase that I hate more. Actually nothing, no no, girl boss is the thing I hate the most.
That actually sounds like a final boss and like um First person, like a you know, COD map or something like that. You have to go up against the girl boss, and all she does is throw like explosive tampax at you or something. You have to fight the girl boss. It's meh. I'm not in, it's yet truth, justice, like, what of.
So I don't know. It's I did they really need to do one? No. Do they need to do another? Didn't they just do like a whole other Like, like, supergirl thing.
Did we talk about this like five years ago? I thought. Oh, I'm sure they did. Like I said, this has been going on for years. I'm sure they've redone it in some way.
She's Superman's cousin, now known as Supergirl. She Cara Dante. I've never liked the character. I never liked it. It's okay if some if women don't have a female version of a male superhero to represent them.
Right. If you can't recognize goodness in someone in the oppos b who is the opposite sex because they're the opposite sex, that's you being an emotional illiterate. That's not. It's not the fault of the creation of the character. I'm not watching this.
You know why? 'Cause I'd rather have uh bleach poured in my eyeballs than watch this. I'm not interested in any of this. Like they've got who what is the new flash? Like I'm not even look I don't even look at any of this.
This all looks awful. Is part of it because it's just everything is so oversaturated? The superhero genre just got wickedly oversaturated. Maybe that's, and we're all reacting resentfully to that. Is that maybe some of it?
Or is it because Netflix? just sucks out loud. No. Yeah. Your comparison to what we're seeing today with superhero remakes is nothing like what we had originally.
It's just it's a carbon copy of a carbon copy that got ate by the dog. None of this resembles anything entertaining. They inject everything they can, narrative-wise, society-wise. It's sick. It's sickness.
Well, I'm not going to be watching it. And There was the other one that, oh my gosh, all the bad stuff is on Netflix. Like, I have another story about some kids' show where they're promoting transing and all this stuff. And. on Netflix.
Why are they just so They got the baking show. I'll give him that. Even the, what was it, the Ken Burns American Revolution documentary? As soon as I saw Ken Burns did it, I was like, ugh. Back in the day, he did one on the Civil War.
It was actually all right. You know, he like pioneered the Burns effect, which is basically just rolling a camera over a still photograph. Let's not be it's not super complicated. Um but he did American Revolution and now because everybody's so tribal, his brain has just been, you know, reduced to cheese. And he tried to retcon the story of America in the American Revolution.
Which is unfortunate. Because now I was, you know, I love watching stuff like that.
Now I have no interest in watching it. It got bad reviews even from mostly apolitical people who just like history. Even they were saying, wow, it seems like some of this is really being contrived to. You know, not really so much explore America's founding, but to try to condemn America.
So I'm just, yeah, I'm not going to want. I'm just, you know what I'm going to do? I'm just going to stay on Amazon. I like this stuff on Amazon. They got Clarkson's Farm.
You know, they got older grantor, not the ones where they hired people and it sucked, but the older ones with Clarkson. Uh Richard, Hammond, Well the the older ones are okay. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturistos with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey, Boen, it's gift season. Ugh, stressing me out. Why are the people I love so hard to shop for? Probably because they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired.
Except for the guide we made. In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts meet incredible value, it's giving gifts! With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have. Check out the guide on marshalls.com and gift the good stuff at marshalls. This time of year, most of us are checking off our holiday gift lists.
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