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It's time for Florida Man. All right, so uh this Florida headline is pretty something. Naked man found hiding in tanning bed after trying to set Florida gym on fire.
So I guess he was doing the Jersey Shore GTL? Jim Tea and Laundry, Jim Tea and Laundry. Video shows deputies arresting a man who tried to set fire to a Florida gym before he was found laying naked in a tanning bed. Body camera footage released. By the Lee County Sheriff's Office shows them respond.
Oh, of course, it's a planet fitness. Do they have like those things? They have those tanning beds at Planet Fitness. That makes all the sense in the world. That makes so much sense now.
They got reports that a naked man was running through the gym, crawling into the ceiling, and trying to start a fire in the bathroom. Then they are searching. Oh, I guess it is. They do have them there. Really?
Well, they serve donuts there too at Planet of Fitness from what I heard. Yeah, you didn't know that? No. Yeah, so that makes sense that they do this too. It's like fitness but not.
So they are searching the gym with guns drawn and canine before they find the man naked in a teening bed. 25-year-old Henry with two R's for some reason, Avarado, was taken into custody and placed in a patrol car. They had to wrap him in a towel. The deputy goes, I'm going to wrap you up because you left cheek marks. Oh, God.
Yeah, so he ran around, he climbed into ceiling, knocked down ceiling tiles, he did all kinds of stuff.
So he's got a number of charges. I know. Uh, let's see. A Florida man gets a, he wins a DUI after he plays a game of drive a lawnmower into busy roads. Wow, what a fun game.
Don't do it.
So, a. Florida man got picked up by police because he drove his riding lawnmower down a busy toll road while he was drunk six ways to Sunday. Christopher Spain, thirty eight, he went out for a little drive or a mow. And uh when he failed to signal or It wasn't because he failed a signal or because he sped. They said he was driving erratically.
How do you drive erratically in a lawnmower? I mean, for whatever reason, when you give me small objects that have power, I can't drive them very well, but I could probably drive a lawnmower, like, better than this guy. And so he apparently drove the thing on a toll road. Witnesses called police and they declared that they were able to catch him and they took him into custody. He's got a DUI charge.
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That's K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. Hey, everyone, this is Carrie Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right, because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure.
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I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. Um I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said uh 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter, and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound529 from your cell phone. We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me. Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you. Gosh, this is one of the best songs, too. Oziah is born dead at age seventy six.
Well, mamma, I'm coming home. And this is one of my absolute favorite songs that anybody has ever done. I mean, No More Tears is amazing. Crazy Train. I mean, the catalog.
Of his music. is amazing. And it's like, man, this is... This is a bummer. Seventy six years old, that seems so young, right?
That seems so young. Steve, can we wait till at least it hits the chorus? I mean, it's going to take a little bit, but, you know, to get there. Those of you who are watching the stream, you're like, what? We're playing it for the radio, folks, in the background.
But it's such a great track. My mom coming home. That's such a great track. Dead at 76. And it was just uh announced.
uh by the family, they released a statement. But um goodness. Yeah, this song, this was uh Was this release in 90?
Something like 90, I think, 91, something like that. I just, I remember. When this song came out, I think I was in sixth or seventh grade. And I thought, man, this is like such a great song. And I remember.
Don't laugh at me. I had my Sony Discman. you know, I have some my Sony dismay that you had to hold like this. 'Cause if you bumped it at all, it'd skip. But we drive back from the Ozarks.
from my family and I'd have my little my little headphones on and I'd listen to this song. Leo. There's a chorus it kicks in. Ugh.
So good.
So good, dead at 76 years old. You guys know I'm I'm Kane and I are big. big music aficionados. I like All good music. It doesn't matter.
Like, I'll go in any genre. Love Black Sabbath. Love Ozzy Osborne. I've seen them live. I don't know how many times.
I've been to OzFest. In fact, one of the coolest moments of my life, it was backstage at something because we knew some mutual people and I was seven months pregnant with my second son. And it was something that members of Sabbath were doing, and Geezer Butler was backstage. And I found myself standing literally right next to Geezer Butler. Could not have been nicer.
He was incredibly nice. And he was very concerned because I was very pregnant. And he was just like, Are you all right? Would you like to sit down? And, you know, he was very nice.
But yeah, just he, man, Ozzie had a very. What how many comebacks did this guy have? I mean, he never really left, but think of it: how many, not comebacks, how many iterations in his career. did he have successfully? That's that is an accomplishment in and of itself.
I mean, after I think wh when did he start doing the Osbournes? When did they start doing the reality show? That's, I think, was one of the big moments for reality television. That is literally the only reality show I ever watched. Where's the Osbourne?
I'm not into like reality T V. I've never been into reality T V. They've you know he's That show is interesting, and he still toured, he still toured. Uh I liked his uh work that he did with Zach Wilde. Um I mean, you know, goodness.
Everything that he did was good. I loved the duet that he did with Lita Ford: Close My Eyes Forever. Gosh, do you remember Kane when that track hit? Yeah. It's still that's still Okay.
is a great track.
So 76 years of age, and we were talking on break.
So, uh,. Keith Richards is how old? Right? How old is Keith Richards? Yeah, he's like 110,000 years old.
He's still and he's yeah, he's still out there playing. But yeah, his first his Can you imagine your Ozzy Osborne and your first solo album, and the first track, the hit track off your debut solo album is Crazy Train? How many people. Strike gold like that. That's such a great track.
Such a great track. And then, of course, uh. Des Moines, Iowa is forever going to be famous be well, for a number of reasons, the least of which include the bat biting. He did think in his defense, he thought that that was a fake bath that someone threw on stage. He didn't think it was real until, and I read it, I watched an interview with him where he didn't actually know it was real until he bit into it.
He wasn't trying to like eat a bat. I mean, I don't know, unless he was pulling our leg and that. I don't know. But man, there's not a lot of. there's there's every now and then you get these uh pop culture events that happen, and I think it really kind of like sharpens perspective of everything.
And one of the things that really struck out really stuck out to me is How important I think live music is and rock and roll. It's not music today is different. It's very different. And do you see how big bands are that incorporate a lot of You know, the more old-school sound and old-school instrumentation. I have to say old-school instrumentation now because everything seems to be like computer generated.
Um, but man. Uh I don't know. I hope everybody's like blasting some. How is he today? That's just wild.
That, yeah, everyone's like, man, this hits hard. It does. It's crazy. He's so, I don't know. He's just one of those guys that you think is going to live forever, like Keith Richards.
Right? Like Keith Richards is the only thing that's going to be left on this planet in a hundred, like you know, several years, a hundred thousand years in the future. We'll have Nokia, old Nokia flip phones. Cockroaches and Keith Richards. Keith Richards.
He's his only good. And I don't say that as to be mean. That man figured out how to live through everything. And I thought Ozzie would be another one. I really did.
I thought he would be another one. Man, so he was able to go out though on his own terms. Man, he played a live show. I mean, that was just a couple of weeks ago. Craziness craziness So, uh man, I know I know everyone's asking me about my grandma's rule of three, Kane.
I can't keep. Lorraine goes, 76 is not young. Yes, it is, Lorraine. It is young in rock and roll. It's young.
In rock and roll it's actually not young. Stop it. Stop it, King. True. Is it mean that I thought Keith Richards would go first?
No, everyone's right. You all first, right? We've been thinking that since the 90s. Yeah, we've been thinking that since the 90s. Man.
So, yeah, if you're just joining us, Ozzy Osborne, absolutely legendary, has passed away, age 76 years old. And man. Just just pretty unbelievable. Pretty unbelievable. They said that, I mean, this is just weeks after his final show.
Didn't he go out sitting in a chair? He was out in a throne for his final show. And honestly, like his voice. His tone? And his pitch?
Sounded pretty dang good. You gotta give him credit. You know. I don't know. He's got he definitely.
Lived loudly. He snorted ants once, didn't he? Did he snort ants in front of Motley Crew? Isn't that the story that they were trying to like one-up each other, and then he snorted a bunch of ants, and they were like, oh my gosh. Yeah.
So, I don't know. He's got uh Uh I mean, he helped define and I think mainstay an entire genre And uh I think he likes really, they got a lot of, I think they got a lot of heat for being because they're like, oh, you're in the occult and you're into all of this. I mean, it was a stage performance, no less than Alice Cooper was a stage performance. And Alice Cooper is an absolute devout Christian. And I would put up his charitable work against anybody's any day of the week.
You know, Ozzy, maybe less so, but. Um it was it was about it was about theater. It was about theatrical performance. That's that's what it was. But um he was able to, I think, survive through so many different things, not just in music, but so many different controversies.
And he always came back because he always made good music. I just think that should be like a lesson for people, especially like when you have controversies in politics. You know, you can better weather controversy if you have a good body of work to stand on. And that's why a lot of the clickbait whoredom and influencing and all of that's just such trash. That's why there are a dime a dozen, and people come and go.
You got to be able to stand on your body of work. And that's one of the things, whether it's music or anything, you can see that. It's incredibly evident for him. He sold over 100 million records. Callie Golly.
A hundred million records. Just unbelievable. Yeah, he's um I don't know. He's always it just always seemed like he was a mainstay, that he was going to be a mainstay.
So, goodness. Anything to add, Kane? Anything to add? Really, I mean he's uh That sound was influential for rock as a whole. um for many decades and it still will be.
You know, out into the future, but definitely a very influential sound and Yeah, very much so. I would I would absolutely agree. Very, very much so.
So, wow, just craziness. Just craziness.
So, I know I'm happy I got to see him live. That's all I care about. I'm happy I got to see him perform live a couple of times. Uh and uh Enjoyed his music.
So just another one gone. I don't know. Everyone's like, Dana, grandma's rule of three, because now everybody's petrified. I literally got like a handful of emails just in the past like 20 minutes about this. I don't know.
Kane, you gotta keep track of this. Who's the third now? Or is that three? Are we safe for a while? What's up?
I mean, I think that's technically three because. I mean, if you think about it, this guy, um, Tom Troop, Who? Tom Troop. He was in Star Trek and Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. No, he doesn't count.
He doesn't count? No, he doesn't count. Okay, well, he would have made three then.
Well, I don't you have to know him. Theo constable. And then we've got Ozzy Osborne and Yeah, that's a good idea. But that was a while ago, right? Yeah, but it's like if it's in, so for the people who have no idea what I'm talking about.
God love her. God rest her soul. I don't want to get haunted. Uh but my grandmother had like some really crazy rules and really crazy uh like um superstitions.
So she had this rule of three. Deaths are always in threes, and it has to be somebody that you know of or that you know, like somebody famous of whom you know of them or. Uh, somebody that you actually personally know, and if there's a fourth, then it starts all over again, right? But it's always in threes. She's never been wrong, I'm just saying.
So, whenever we have a celebrity death or a political death or whatever it is, um, we have to go by the rule of three.
So, I can't remember who. I swear there was I thought there was like a third one, but You know, I hook me. I think Alan Bergman was one. I don't remember. I don't remember now.
My brain just got fried because of this news. I don't remember who the third one is. Anyway, I'll mull it over tonight. But a couple of other things. To get into Connie Francis.
Thank you, Steve. Vegas Larry, God love you, Vegas Larry. Vegas Larry's got the memory that's going to save us all. Connie Francis. Theo Huxtable, aka Malcolm Jamal Warner, and now Ozzie.
So that's three. It's over. That's three.
So it's starting to.
Okay.
So it's so we're mm.
Now if there's another one, then the rule of three starts again. That's I didn't make this rule. My granny boots and they called her boots 'cause she was mean. I don't know how that makes sense, but that's what they did. That's her role, and that's what we got to roll by.
So, man, alive. Oh, all right. What? This is the most depressing segment of radio ever. We can't go out.
We can't go into a break like this. I feel like Casey Kasem now. You can't go from an up-tempo song into a dog death. You can't do it. If you guys have no idea what I'm talking about, you need to Google Casey Kasum.
Dog. Just Google it. And there's going to be this video where he's pre-taping a program, and he's very upset. Because he has to go. from an up-tempo song, right?
From a song into. this dedication of a dog death. And he's like, he gets so mad. He gets so mad about it. And he just works himself up into a fit over it.
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Hey, everyone, this is Carrie Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground, and you'd be right. Because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With a twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along.
And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you. Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles. The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures, and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all new twenty twenty five Nissan Armada today.
Learn more at NissanUSA dot com. Intelligent four wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Mm-hmm. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.
Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan.
I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. Um I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said uh twenty billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter, and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound529 from your cell phone. We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me. Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five.
So, a new report claims that premature organ transplants are endangering donors. And there are several families that have gone on record stating that surgeons attempted to initiate organ retrievals while patients were still alive or improving, per a July 20th report from the New York Times. Amid a growing push for increased transplants, a number have endured premature or bungled attempts. And so, now the Health and Human, the Health Resources and Services Administration has been investigating. They said there were 70 canceled organ removals in Kentucky alone that should have been stopped sooner because patients showed signs of revival.
And so, now you have Health and Human Services looking to fix the transplant system. I'm going to tell you, there's a lot of questions to be asked about this, and there are a lot of people that want to bully you away from asking questions by portraying you ironically as heartless. Ironically. Yeah. Also, let's see here.
One in four Gen Z workers regrets going to college. I still have to meet I don't know. There's like a lot of people that think too that when they graduate college, that they immediately should be in line for like a CEO position and they don't want to do grunt work. They don't want to, they don't understand the concept of having to start like everybody else ever in the history of humankind and working your way up. But I also think that not everybody should be going to college either.
But they said now there's 23% of them. And I'm wondering if they're the 23% that also was demanded that Biden pay for their college. And then Biden promised free college and then he didn't fulfill free college and kind of pulled the rug out from everyone and something that no one ever could have saw coming. It's not like we talked about it for days. Ground squirrels, yes, squirrels are taking over in North Dakota City and officials are not amused.
They are displeased, you might say, squirrels are exasperating the people of Minneau, burrowing everywhere from vacant lots to the middle of town. They say that for the past couple of decades, the population control population has exploded. And it's fourth largest city in Dakota. They're trying to fight back, but they said it's an uphill battle because there's so many of them. It's a war.
It's like the Great Emu War, but now it's with squirrels. A delivery truck driver was struck by lightning outside of a house in a terrifying video. This is crazy. I'm going to tell you, lightning don't play, man. It does not play.
Their driver ducked and let out a shout. Thankfully, nobody was hurt, if you can believe it or not. But yeah, can you imagine? He made it out. He almost got zapped.
came out unscathed.
Now Hollywood's demanding an investigation because they said that they have bribery concerns. This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. Writers Guild of America, they're saying that, oh my gosh, there needs to be an investigation. WGA, Writers' Guild of America, wrote in his statement Quote. The Writers' Guild of America has significant concerns that De Leitscha's cancellation is a bribe, sacrificing free speech to curry favor with the Trump administration.
Wasn't he bragging about losing $50 million for the network already? It's all of this stuff is Achievements. All of this stuff is public. You can see how many people tune into his show. You can see that he's at the bottom of the heap for ratings.
You can see that I mean, they don't have a lot they can't move a lot of inventory. Not a lot of people are wanting to buy ad time in his day part. He is like at the bottom of the barrel. He's just not selling. He's just not appealing.
That didn't even even have anything to do with Trump. I mean, seriously, they're going to try to say that the 60 Minutes lawsuit and them having to settle with Trump, that he was like, yeah, you know what? Give me a Colbert. No, I would think that if Trump had the option to silence somebody over at CBS, I don't think that he would care about Stephen Colbert. Colbert doesn't move the needle.
The only time that we're talking about him right now is just because it's so ridiculously stupid. It's an avatar for the left's over reaction. He doesn't move the needle. He doesn't do anything. He doesn't do anything of note.
He just he does a very unfunny show. That's pretty much it. Trump was on with him once in 2015, but then that was up. I think when Colbert first started out before he got I don't know if he got jaded or if that's just how he always was. He was funnier when he was on Daily Show.
years ago. But this idea that it was done like there was a bribe or that It was done because At his request, that's a stupid accusation, but they're demanding. An investigation into it. I mean, these people are ignoring the settlement. That was because of the 60 minutes thing, remember?
That was And then Colbert was the one who said on his show, on July 15th. That the settlement was designed to sway the administration in this merger. It was a proposed. $8 billion merger. Between Paramount Global and then Skydance, which is under investigation in California.
So, I don't know. Now, the WGA wants Letitia James to get involved and they want her to investigate.
So, and they've called um I think what they've been joined by what Adam Schiff, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, they say, oh, the public. deserves to know, Kane. D like what? Like, what does the public deserve to know? This is so stupid.
What does the public deserve to know? Audio sound by 12. Adam Schiff thinks he has the answer. Listen, so stupid.
So what is behind the cancellation of the most popular show on late nights? Stephen Colbert would routinely get 2.5 million viewers for each show. That is the number one ranked show in that slot. Why would CBS cancel that show?
Now CBS issued a statement claiming that the cancellation of this show was for purely financial reasons and not having anything to do with other matters.
Now what are those other matters that contributed to this decision or may have contributed to this decision?
Well, for context. CBS is owned by Paramount and Paramount is merging with Skydance. in a transaction that has to be approved by the Trump administration. And while this merger has been pending, CBS decided to settle a frivolous lawsuit with Donald Trump. A lawsuit that Donald Trump brought for millions of dollars where he sued CBS because he didn't like the way CBS had edited an interview last year with Kamala Harris.
Well, because it was an in-kind contribution. And so let me just set some things up here for some of these drive-by idiots.
So before I even was allowed on air, I had to do, you have to do, because it's public airwaves. We had to learn about pay-for-play, and then you had to learn about all of the rules from the FEC that govern airtime specifically before elections. And depending on how close to the election day you are, if you're going to have on a political candidate, You have to give equal time to their opponent. And so the accus and I mean and It wasn't just something that Trump made an accusation of, and it was unfounded. I mean, there was agreement that what CBS did was violate this, this equal time consideration, because it had fallen within the time period of X amount of days before an election.
And there was no equal time that had been offered to Trump at all whatsoever. And even, and they did it at so late in the game that they weren't going to be able to accommodate equal time for him in the same manner.
So he absolutely did have a case. Anybody that has ever been on airwaves at all whatsoever has to undergo like an educational course or some kind of training or something on this to where you understand it because you can get seriously fined for violating it. When I did local radio, when I was first starting out, this was something that we had to really religiously adhere to. And the crazy thing is, is that different campaigns would try to trigger it because you would have campaigns that would wait and they would try to argue that so-and-so was within the scope of time when they weren't. And it was a big ordeal.
So networks have to be very careful of this. And I think that they just, CBS just thought that they could get away with it. I remember when I saw that interview that night, I was like, oh man, they're going to get their, it's handed to them for this because it was an absolute violation. You were within 30 days of the election. I mean, it was you, they had to offer equal time, and they hadn't, and that's why they got in trouble.
It wasn't because he was bribing them. Seriously, they need to make up their mind. If you're so in the right, then step two. But they knew that they weren't. That's why they settled.
This had nothing to do with it. Stephen Colbert's show was so incredibly low-rated. He was hemorrhaging, not just viewers. He had already lost like 4 million viewers, almost his entire audience that he had attracted when he first was kicking it in 2015. Their ad revenue was half of what it was in 2018.
So his ad revenue dropped. It was $439 million in 2018. It dropped to like 218. And it was continuing to hemorrhage. It was still on the decline.
So they were dropping viewers like flies. Uh I mean in one demo. One time they barely edged out Jimmy Kimmel, which is why he keeps running around acting like he's like somehow the undisputed king of late night. He beat Jimmy Kimmel one time in the 18 to 49 demo. And it was by fewer than a thousand viewers.
I have all of the the I have all of his his his ad I have everything here uh It was by, I mean, it literally was, this was late nighter. You have New York Post, Late Nighter, TMZ. I mean, this is so goofy. Ad Week. Which marked his ad revenue.
And Ad Week is a pretty left-leaning publication, by the way. The show's ratings and ad revenue have been on a disastrous downward trend. That was a quote. That was from weeks ago. They were comparing the late night shows.
They said The show's ratings and ad revenue are on a disastrous downward trend, particularly when compared to the show's peak viewership and when compared to every other late night show, shows like The Tonight Show. And then it gets into how The Tonight Show's ratings were better and their ad rates are more. I mean, you can substantiate them a little bit more.
So that's. That's all. That was what it was the ratings. Decline, the ratings decline and the ad revenue decline.
So this idea that he was He was told to go. Because you know what Schiff is what Schiff is saying here that it was somehow punitive because he was critical of Trump. That has nothing to do with it. This was in the works for a long time. This was in the works for a long time, even before the settlement.
He has been struggling since his show first started. These other late night shows were able to maintain, and even when they would have dips and dives, they would were able to actually regain. His show never was. It never, ever recaptured any of it. And you know when it really started nosediving per ad week?
It was actually during COVID. Who was really celebratory about locking everybody down? Stephen Colbert, nobody wanted to watch that. Nobody wanted to be stuck in their house by force of penalty, by threat of penalty, and have to watch a guy celebrating and telling and being in everyone's face and telling everyone like some jerk to stay home and not go to work and not have their kids go to school. He was not resonating with anybody.
He wasn't. I was talking real quick to a friend of mine because I said Craig Ferguson earlier a couple of days ago, and I should have said James Courten. Because the late night was Craig Ferguson was always a little bit more For the lack of a better way to say it, agnostic, a little more chaos neutral. James Corden is the one that was not.
So. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. You're great at protecting your own personal information. You probably even use things like two-factor authentication, strong passwords, and a VPN.
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