Absurd Truth: YETI YEETS

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Author, columnist, managing editor of LibertyNation.com, podcast host, and conservative policy advocate. We dismiss history at our peril. Liberty Nation with Mark Angelides. Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Keltech. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

Wait. It's time for Florida man. Don't do this. Yellowstone National Park, a Florida man was injured when he was gored by a bison. Said the National Park Service.

This is the first reported incident of a person injured by a bison in Yellowstone this year. And it only park ain't been open for two weeks. And immediately, somebody's out there getting gored. They said, and guess why? Do you think it was because he was minding a respectful distance from the bison?

No. No. No, he wanted to get up and close and personal with it.

So he got minor injuries, was treated by emergency medical personnel. You're told to keep, in fact, Yellowstone requires that you keep 25 yards away from the manimals up there. And 100 yards away from bears and wolves, 25 from all large animals, 100 yards from bears and wolves. And bison have injured more people in Yellowstone than any other animal. They're not aggressive, but when people get up in their faces, yeah, nobody likes that, not even me.

I'd gore you too if I had horns. And then in May 2024, a dude kicked a bison in the leg, and guess what? It kicked him back and injured him. And then he got arrested and jailed because he kicked a bison. Yeah, just don't be a moron and don't like try to go up and get a selfie with it, and everything's cool, right?

It's so simple. I mean, this is not hard. Uh if a kid tells you that there's somebody in their closet, maybe just don't disregard it. Like, if you're this kid, a Florida man was arrested because he was hiding in a kid's bedroom closet. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh, this Florida man. He ran away from law enforcement, fled into a home, and hid in a kid's bedroom closet. Liberty County Sheriff Robert Arnold deputies got a call on Tuesday about a suspicious person. The guy identified as Bobby McKenzie. He took off on a four-wheeler.

And ditched it and ran into a house. And they uh yeah, they found him hiding in a child's bedroom closet. And the individuals who called it in, they said thank you to them. The guy had worn out for aggravated assault. He also had, oh, gosh, he hid a bag containing a bunch of meth and all kinds of drug paraphernalia under the kid's bed.

Yeah. Man, oh man, I'm telling you. A Florida man got pulled over and then led police on a foot chase. After they caught him, they laughed and said, You thought you were Usain Bolt. Yeah, well, that's that's funny, it is.

They led him on a the he led cops on a foot chase through Daytona Beach. Xavier McCall. You don't need to have an apostrophe after the X, okay? There's literally no need because the name is, okay, I can't even do this story. The name is X-A-V-I-E-R.

The apostrophe is there to symbolize the absence of a vowel and yet connect the word. But it's X-A, Xavier, and that's how it's spelled. You don't need an apostrophe to make your cheap broke ass look fancy. Stop it. That's so stupid.

Who named you? Your mother ought to be arrested. Because she's dumb. They could not provide. Who does the name like this?

That's like having your name Amber and an apostrophe after the A in between the A and M. Shut up. They could not provide Daytona Xavier McCall with a apostrophe. Could not provide Daytona Beach officers with his license. He said he was in his grandma's vehicle.

They asked him to get off. He took off. And they were able to catch him, cornered him, and take him into custody. And he's in the pokey now.

So, yeah, they go, you're not supposed to be breathing like that from a short little run, dude.

So clearly, his cardio was bad. I love the body cam footage when they're chasing him, too. Watch Tony here. This guy was not getting far. And the cops were like, dude, you're younger than us.

You should be faster than this. And one of them said that the dude smoked too much, and that's why he didn't have good blood circulation or cardio. He also thought his grandma's car. All the way. Can I just keep this footage going?

Doesn't it look like the cop running? His arms are just crazy. He's like one of those blow-up dolls outside of a car dealership. Like, it just, his arms just look mad when he's running. Let's see here.

Oh, by the way, our bison story came from Florida Man Keith. Or, no, Listener Keith. Our Floridaman Bison story came from Listener Keith.

So, thank you from that. Let's see. Drunk Florida Man Crashes is Tesla. This is a village's story. It's a village's story.

A villages. A villager Meh Minecraft crashed his Tesla in a roundabout. Of course he did. And then when he when police came, he made up a fictional girlfriend And said, no, it's yeah, Stacy, my girlfriend, Stacy. He literally made up a whole woman.

and fabricated a name and told police that Stacey crashed his Tesla and ran away. JC. I know. And so the man, after he crashed the roundabout, he flooded the village of Hawkins. And they found 63-year-old Jeffrey Treadwell.

And match descriptions. He began blaming his girlfriend. He said, Stacy did it. Stacy ran away after she crashed into the roundabout. And he goes, it's a girl I met in Brownwood.

Stacy's her name. And uh he was drinking. I mean clearly. And they concluded that Stacy was completely made up.

So they booked him in Sumter County Detention Center and he was released on an $1,100 bond. Yeah, that's not. Can you imagine? Yeah, it was Stacy that did it. Yeah, I'm gonna start using that excuse.

I didn't do it. Stacy did it. Stacy also crashed that car in that roundabout down there in Florida. Did you hear about that? Did you hear about what Stacy did?

That floozy, but Stacy's mom's got fluzy. Yeah, man, she's a floozie. They're all floozies. Stacy Sr. and Stacy Jr., floozies.

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VGW Group, voidware prohibited by law. 21 plus. Terms and conditions apply. Everybody knows the Yeti people. They make those super expensive coolers.

And they got um I feel like they turned their back on the people that made them. I feel like they turned their back on hunters and gun owners and all of that because they decided to really get away. They and Under Armour sort of did. I know some people who work in the. who work in the hunting industry.

Uh, industry, like they, you know, products, things like actual legitimate hunters, and um, they had sponsorships with Under Armor, and they can't post stuff with guns and things like that. It's real weird. I'm not gonna say who because I don't wanna they're dear friends, and there's nothing bad meant about it from there and but they're just like, you know, this is what's happening. I bring this up. Because I saw this, or I reposted it the other day.

Claire. Uh booth loose. Center For conservative women. It's a ladies' organization. You know, they also voted for tremendous goodies.

I'm for the rest of the hour. They were getting ready. It's a Virginia-based organization, and they've done this before. And they order these um They're like, they're Yetis, but they're coffee mugs. They're not, which I don't understand, honestly, the point of it.

I'm like, I drink coffee too damn faster. It keeps it warmer longer.

Okay, I don't know. Is it dishwasher safe? Because Dana doesn't buy nothing unless it's dishwasher safe. The actual coffee cup ones are. I heard someone scream out there.

You said washer. I did. Dishwasher. This is exactly what the word is. There's no R.

Warsher. Tremendous goodies. Dishwasher. So They ordered these personalized, what do they call them, seafoam green, green? It's alm almost like a it's like next nearly almost a Tiffany blue.

Anyway.

So they ordered, you know, companies get these Tumblers and they put their company name on them and they send them out, and that's you know normal.

So they were buying. I don't know how many, but they had put in a reorder, is what they said. They've done this before. They put in a reorder. of these tumblers, this sea foam green Tumblers, And They noticed, like I said, they've done it before, same order, so it's a reorder.

They didn't order more.

So don't think that it wasn't 'cause they couldn't fulfill it. 'Cause they were, they just, they've done it before. They reordered them. And then all was going well. Until all of a sudden They heard back from the Yeti people.

And the Yeti people told them. that uh they could not do it. They said that uh Their logo includes the phrase quote unquote conservative women. And they After they sent all their cancellation emails, after they paid over $1,600. After all of that They had the Cancellation email From the Yeti people.

And it said, The order was canceled because the logo includes the phrase conservative women. That to me seems to be a problem here. Yeah. I I mean, I don't know why that's it's it's it's the Claire Booth Lewis uh it's it's like in their uh group name. And they've had them before because they you can throw it.

I know Juan just showed it to you, but the reason they have this mug is because they ordered it before. And they had no problem with it. There is no problem with us. I'm looking at the mug on my screen. There is no problem with it.

So what's the issue? What's see they had ordered it before? Simple enough, right?

Well, they got told, well, it's because they have conservative on it.

Now, technically, they're. uh tax structure they can't actually even be a Um uh a political group Because That's not how they're tax structured. They're not structured in that way.

So they called, someone from their group called Yeti to ask what prompted the cancellation, and that's they were also told verbatim that it was the phrase conservative women. It's on the pol they said it's on the political side, so the mug could not be made. They don't want to avoid any they want to avoid any kind of political affiliation because they're a bunch of pansies. And they said, well, they're uh Their policy prevents customizing products aligned with political affiliations or organizations or content that could be considered obscene, vulgar, profane, discriminatory, defamatory, or hateful. They said that the earlier transaction should not have been made.

It was a mistake that it went through.

So they can't. Say it because it's as conservative. Yes, K. How is that hateful? How is that defamatory?

Did they explain that the word conservative somehow violates? Their policy that they just outlined? No, they didn't explain it. The the last time they did this, Yeti Uh Yeti kind of Yeti betrayed uh gun owners. I haven't used Yadda in a long time.

I won't put my liquids in a yeti. Uh They um Made gun owners mad. This was like 2018. This was like right after Parkland, and it was just so stupid that they did it.

So Yeti got very... uh they got political by trying to not be political. You know what I mean? It's you're you make drinkware. Are they worried that they're going to get targeted by people who don't buy their products anyway?

And why can't you put a little tiny disclaimer? Like, if you're printing anything on there, put a little time disclaimer on it. This is stupid. This has nothing to do with. You everybody knows that if you order a product like that and you have a customized, like a bulk order.

That company is not. Sponsoring you, they're not endorsing your viewpoints. You know, you, if you purchase a pair of Nike sneakers. That's not Nike endorsing your viewpoint. You're purchasing a product.

That's what these people are doing. the fascistic left doesn't even want you to be able to have that option.

So they try to fabricate the stupid claim that, well, you if they're working with you, they're validating your existence by working with you. It's just a, I just don't like Eddie. I get, I, I just, it's infuriating that a company would react this way. And they're j because that sounds like it's discriminatory. against conservative women.

And again, I go back to the people who don't would not are not going to purchase these products anyway. They're worried about being targeted by those people. I mean, good heavens. This is a conservative women's organization. That's it.

That's it. Just a conservative women's organization.

So, why are they trying to Bud Light themselves again? I remember they we had a uh Like, uh, we have like uh these community fairs and stuff in our town square and all this stuff in the town where I live in. And after Yeti did that with firearm owners, this was back in 2018. My husband and I were walking around our town square. It was their art.

Fair or whatever. We just, you know, you walk around, you look at stuff, you enjoy the sunshine, it's nice. Talk to people. And we walked by a Yeti had a tent there. And they haven't had a tent after this, but they had a tent there yeti.

List a little, you know, tent at the fair with all the other booth vendors. And they were walking up to people and asking if they wanted a Yeti sticker, if they were interested in looking at the Yeti products, and they came up to us. We're like, no, thank you. No, thank you. And I don't even remember exactly what I said, but they said, oh, they're like, you know, do you not like, do you know who Yeti?

Do you not like him? I'm like, are you seriously going to press this with me right now in the middle of the town square? They had no idea who I was and I, you know, I wasn't. trying to be that way at all. But at first, I mean, and he was being a persistent sales guy, I guess, but he just wouldn't leave it alone.

And um You know, I'm trying to be the nice person. My husband's like, yeah, you know why? Because you guys screwed over gun owners.

So, no, we are not interested in looking at your stuff. We're not interested. You know, and I'm trying to be like, no, thanks, and just leave me the hell alone, right? Chris was like, nah, we're not interested in it because you're a bunch of. He didn't go that far, but he was like, no, you guys screwed over gun owners.

Why in the hell would we ever be interested in looking at these products? No. He's like, get out of my way. Which I also thought was nice. It wasn't that guy's problem.

He didn't set the company policy, but I do think that you got to be aware of that kind of stuff, especially when you're in one of the most conservative towns in America. It was just funny. But There are other companies that exist out there besides Yeti. There's one base in Texas called Bison Coolers. It's just, it's like they're like Yeti, but without all the nonsense.

So hopefully they're going to another one of these companies. To get their order filled. Because it's just stupid. I don't know why you would, you would, you know, I love what. Michael Jordan said when people were asking him to get political and he's trying to sell sneakers, and he's like, Republicans wear sneakers too.

That's exactly right. That's the attitude to have. This idea that Well, I have my political beliefs and everything, including my tennis shoe and my orange juice and my shaving cream and my paper clips. I don't even use those anymore. All everything has to.

Affirm. That is the obsession with the left. Everything that they do has got to be affirmed by something. Have you noticed this? It's got to be affirmed by a product, it's got to be affirmed by other people against your will.

Everything has to validate their choices. Are you so insecure that you have to have? You're in a butter? Affirm you? Or your mouthwash?

Have you seen like the rainbow mouthwash? Are we past the Gay Pride Month? Where it's all marketing, gay, everything. I think it's coming up. Oh no.

Did I speak too soon? Oh, no. For some reason I'm thinking. No, really? Why did I ask?

Where it's like, I can't even use this mouthwash unless it affirms the, you know, the way I like to get it on. I can't use this. I mean, it's just so stupid. Yeah, it's confirmed. June is widely recognized.

Why is it a whole month? It's Pride Month. I mean Memorial Day, uh veterans You know, people killed an accident. They get a day. Maybe a week.

You get a whole month because you choose to. How you choose to have sex. That's so stupid. Well, I don't like cilantro. I love cilantro, but there are people out there who are like, I think cilantro tastes like soap.

I need a whole month of recognition for me. It's the same thing. It's just so goofy. Why? We have more on the way.

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VGW Group, voidware prohibited by law. 21 plus. Terms and conditions apply. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five.

I didn't want to keep this in Florida, man, just because it seems sensitive. A nine-year-old girl would. Snorkeling off of the shore of Boca Grande and with her mom and siblings. This is yesterday. Her hand was bitten off by a shark.

all the way off. It is insane. It looked, they said it was, um, it looked like it was an eight-foot bull shark. It got her right hand and part of her wrist. and she emerged from the water on her own completely covered in blood.

The construction workers nearby, God loved them, they saw it and were like, whoa. They called 911 and they created a tourniquet on a beach towel with the family to stop the bleeding. She was airlifted 100 miles away, admitted for emergency surgery. They were hoping to reattach it. They said everybody was in shock.

They heard her scream. And some people were not aware that they had just witnessed a shark attack. It was a little confusing. But they said her whole hand was only. Hanging by like and tendon, one tendon.

And they said the bonds were complete. I mean, wow. Uh, so that's oh my gosh.

So, they had to get arteries from her leg to her hand to get the blood flow back. They had to install pins, so they're trying to reattach it. They said that they were able to get it to where she could move her fingers, but can you believe this? That is insane. I mean, that's you got to be so careful when you're in the water.

You got to be really careful. And I'm not saying she wasn't at all. It's just sometimes things like that can happen. It's oh. Let's see.

Uh apparently singing is good for your brain even if you're bad at it. Really? Really? Um They said that making music boosts brain and mental health according to a study coming from the behavioral sciences at Stanford. School of Medicine, and they focused, they were focusing on researching music-based treatments for mental health.

And they had said that, yeah, when you sing apparently releases dopamine and activates the brain's reward system. And that's one of the reasons why karaoke apparently is super popular and people are, you know, without liquor, people are, you know, happy with it. They studied, for instance, 8,000 Swedish twins and the one that played music more than the other. was had better emotional awareness. That's crazy.

Yeah. That's really interesting. That doesn't mean I'm gonna start singing regularly. I'm an alto, like I'm a hardcore alto, you know?

Sometimes I feel like that the princess from Spaceballs. Nobody knows the trouble, Epsy. I feel like her. Over $400,000 worth of cocaine found it hidden in shoes at an airport in Toronto. Why do people think they're gonna get this stuff through?

It blows the mind. But they, they, so apparently, you know, like somebody had a suitcase that they were gonna check and they had different, you know, pairs of shoes in it. And you might be like, oh, okay, they're going for an extended trip. They need, you know, they need options for footwear. But apparently, in the Souls, they had tons of cocaine in there.

And so they ended up, yeah, that gets like x-rayed. Like they're gonna see that stuff. Men with broken heart syndrome are more likely to die. No, not the men. They have been studying this.

They said that it's actually a whole health experience. In 2021, they did this whole study of it and they've continued it. And it's a broken heart syndrome. Apparently it affects men more. That's really sad.

I saw this over at Red State. This isn't this is funny. Headline: Archaeologists find a child sacrifice altar in Guatemala. And CBS really, really spun it. In a very special way.

So, archaeologists excavated this altar. That I mean around modern from a people From modern-day Mexico City. That showed that they really had traveled deep into Mayan territory. In the altar, apparently, they found the remains of three young children. And they said they were not older than four years.

Four years old, they were found on three sides of the altar. and apparently they were like a child sacrifice type of. People, and that was a child sacrifice altar. They said that they were used for sacrifices, especially of children. CBS, they could have stopped at that story.

At right at that. They could have stopped right there. That's enough. You got enough from that, right? From that story.

You're like, wow, that's really messed up. Wow, stuff that people believed in back then. Right. Move on with your life. Nope.

Nope. No, not if you're CBS.

So they had to go and find an expert.

Now here's this is how they put it. Quote. Maria Bele Menendez, an archaeologist who was not involved with the project, really has no idea what the hell is happening there. He's never been there, doesn't know anything about it. Anyway, she was involved with the project, said the discovery confirms that there had been an interconnection between both cultures and what their relationships with their gods and celestial bodies was like.

She said, We see how the issue of sacrifice exists in both cultures. It was a practice. It's not that they were violent, it was their way of collecting, connecting with celestial bodies. King. Is there any way to spin child sacrifices being nonviolent?

I don't see how. I mean They didn't succeed. If it has to do with like pushing some sort of left. leftist narrative. Then yes, it's not I mean, it's not violent.

The violent thing about killing kids on the altar, you know, to appease some gods. Apparently that's not that's not violent. Good night. Freedom of religion. It's this noble savage myth.

I so am so. Can we just disregard the noble savage? That's like a phrase. The ideology that everyone in South America and the United States was perfect until you damn dirty white Europeans came here, you horrible people.

So I have half of my ancestry that was totally fine here in the United States as indigenous people. And then my white European people came over and they intermingled and ruined everything. They ruined all of it. How did they mess up the child sacrifices and everything that we had good going on here, Cain? I'll be damned.

But that's the whole thing, right? Like Native Americans, American Indians, were completely peaceful people that just were super helpful and never engaged in any kind of warmonger. I mean, forget the fact that they would butcher each other.

So I always laugh when the Lakota are like, wow, you guys stole Mount Rushmore for us. Who the hell did y'all steal Mount Rushmore for? And from? And who did they steal Mount Rushmore from? Every nation exists on the back of the conquered today.

There were a people before them and a people before them and a people before them. And only and only, if you disregard that, are you an ahistorical, just absolutely a liberal moron?

So, this idea that it was all no, they could not just say, wow, that's pretty messed up. They were killing kids on altars and sacrificing four-year-olds. Crazy. How crazy is that? They have to go, no, no, no.

They have to go with the noble savage. Ideology. No, no, no, this mythology that that that leftists surround themselves with. No, no, no, they weren't violent because it was about connecting with celestial bodies. That's what it was about.

So, see, how dare you assume the worst of these people killing children on an altar of child sacrifice? It had to do, Cain, with connecting to celestial bodies. If your God requires you to cut up kids, multiple children, and fulfill that at the altar, don't cite Abraham because that was testing Abraham's faith and God intervened and nothing ever happened to his son.

So, disregard. anti-biblical illiberal snots, but If your God's like, nah, go ahead and bring all these babies up here and cut them up on the altar, your God sucks. If that's sorry, your God sucks. I'm not sorry about it. You just need to, you need to be made aware of this because apparently no one in your life loves you enough to tell you this.

Then that's weak, right? That's weakness.

So This idea that, no, it's all noble and it's all per until the Europeans came over.

Now, I'm not saying the Europeans did everything great, obviously. But this idea that there is like some perfect group of people that existed and never and were sinless and problemless, even up to the point that, no, their child's sacrifice was just about connecting the celestial entities. That is an that's absolute that's ahistorical. That's what's not based in science or history or reality. But CBS, they had to go through that.

See, they weren't when they took guys when they took kids and they were cutting off their bodies and ripping their hearts out on these slabs of stone. They were just trying to connect to their celestial bodies and you not understanding that is white privilege. Kane, if you don't understand that, that's your white part. You're being bigoted against yourself.

Sorry to hear that.

So mean, right? I mean, you know. I mean, why they were just like trying to connect to their pagan gods. It's like Planned Parenthood today. Planned Parenthood are their modern-day stone tablet, Mayan-Aztec sacrifices.

That's exactly what they are. Literally typing that just planned Parenthood is these buildings that exist in all different cities around the country. Planned Parenthood is nothing more than the modern-day child sacrifice altar of ancient Aztec and Mayan. peoples. It's exactly what it is today.

And people would like it more if or they would actually have less, they would have more of a problem with abortion if it was done with AR-15s than if it was done with people who said that they were there not to hurt, like nurses, physicians, things like that. This is the real reality of the life that we live. It's true. You guys know it is. I said it purposely 'cause you guys know it's true.

So this I just think it's that's how CBS they couldn't just report that CBS had to go, Oh my gosh, this sounds Mean, we've got to go figure out a way to make this more acceptable and palatable for our audiences. Let's bring in Rando expert who has no idea about any of this.

Well, they were just connecting, as you see, to celestial bodies. I mean uh the What what are the excuses over at Planned Parenthood? What celestial bodies are they trying to connect to? Say Sam Alter Just different purpose. It's the same thing every time.

So, I, how dare those Europeans come in and colonize that? Colonize that child sacrifice, write the hell out of culture. Just amazing, right?

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