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It's time for Florida Man.
So a uh Okay. No. I don't really want to do this one. Oh, I don't want to do this one at all. A nurse found.
drugs in a Florida man's back door. during surgery for a stab wound. Just going to leave it like that. A Florida man involved in what police believe was a drug dispute. Ended up behind bars because during surgery, because he went in to seek medical attention, because he was stabbed.
It was at St. Petersburg's Bayfront Hospital last month. The injuries required surgery. 43-year-old Michael O'Neill was had. A nurse was.
Well, she found that he had been using His prison wallet, for the lack of a better phrase, to store drugs and drug paraphernalia. It was smoking gun piece, and they said while in surgery. She located it. and it was round tinfoil with cocaine, along with a glass crack pipe and a lighter. I can't even deal.
And he posted $5,500 bond was released from custody. He pled not guilty to the charges. I don't know how you can. plead not guilty to these charges. This was not his first arrest.
Either.
So, next story, moving on. Let's see here. We've got. A Florida man's cross necklace blocks the bullet from piercing his heart. This is coming from WFLA.
He was shot in the chest. He credits a cross necklace for saving his life. 20-year-old Aiden Perry told his friend he was showing off a firearm. He accidentally fired it because he's a moron. It ricocheted off his gold necklace and became lodged in the fatty tissue of his chest.
The doctors say that his necklace. saved his life.
So I think there's probably something to be said for wearing big gold chains maybe. But it ricocheted it had to adjust it perfectly. They said if he hadn't uh been wearing it, it would have pierced his lungs or his heart.
So maybe, maybe he got it as a Christmas gift last year from his dad.
So. Just saying, maybe that maybe that's a giant sign to this dude. Just FYI. Also, let's see here. I got drug trafficking, drug trafficking.
We also have a guy in Zephyrillis, Florida. An argument that began: a man opened fire on a garbage truck while chasing it through Zephyrillus. And this was early Friday morning that led to the guy chasing it while firing shots in a collision that sent two men to the hospital, another to jail, according to Zephyrlis PD. They went to Advent Helicephalis. The man showed up.
He had a gunshot wound to his right forearm. He was shot by, I don't really care about the backstory of this, but a guy just was running after a garbage truck and just firing all crazy. You had to know. His name is Quinson Croeson. You have too many sounds in your name, sir.
You got to give one of them up. Nobody's allowed to have that many consonants. I know it's America, but come on. A man in whitey tatties is pepper spraying his sleepy neighbor over noise complaints. Another one, it is shockingly not a villages story, it's Lauderhill.
They said that this man was arrested. He broke into his neighbor's upstairs apartment, pepper sprayed him in the face while he slept. Because apparently he was snoring so loud and being loud that the guy had lived like right below him. He could hear him.
So he couldn't startle him awake.
So he ended up climbing up into his apartment and he pepper sprayed him in the face. It just feels like maybe you could have used your phone. Instead, our partners over at All Family Pharmacy You want affordable medications and you don't want big pharma being the gatekeeper. This is where all family pharmacy comes in. They're offering a summer sale 20% off of your entire order.
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This is Carrie Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground and you'd be right. Because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With a twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along.
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Learn more at NissanUSA dot com. Intelligent four wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Whole issue with the WNBA. I don't know if you guys saw some of the scoring on this.
They had uh it was trending last night.
So they were ranking players in a WNBA. and Caitlin Clark's All-Star ranking. Got a lot of people talking about player bias. She was ranked ninth among guards by her peers. Which is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen.
The way that they. There that goes. She finished first in the fan vote. and in the players' vote she was ninth. Because they hate her, is why.
They that is pure jealousy. PURE JEALLUSY Uh Have you ever seen them? They how many players they send out? To guard the ninth? Best guard on the court.
They send out a million people to guard her. A million. She's the they actually they like go after her.
Someone said they got her like she's prime Jordan Yeah. I mean, I'm so tired of the hate from this. She's a once-in-a-generation player. I'm so tired of the hate that she's getting. It makes me.
There's rivalry and then there's this. There's rivalry and then there's just blind pettiness. You know, like even other players in the NBA, those men would give each other their due. Women are bitches. They will not give them, they will, I'm going to tell you, every place I've ever been.
I've only had one issue with the dude. Everything that I've ever seen in the workplace has been from women. It has been from women. They are nasty, they are petty, I don't like them. They're aggravating.
It's a no. Look at this. Like, they can't all celebrate that she's bringing all these eyeballs in.
So they got to rank her really low because they're jealous bees, is why. The ninth best guard. I just can't. Every time I've ever seen her on the court, they've got a million people around her. A million people.
And you would just think that they would, instead of wasting all this energy and all this time doing this, you think that they would be able to. To celebrate it, like, oh my gosh, we're getting eyeballs, we're getting, you know, we're getting this, we're getting chartered planes now, we have merch opportunities, you know, all of that. I mean, it is crazy. She's number so she's one in fan favorites and ninth amongst players. Ah.
I will you know, I wish they'd guard her like she was the ninth best guard in the league. They ought to. Guard her like she's the ninth best, then. If she's the ninth best, then don't send everybody to guard her. Just give her that ninth place treatment.
She's I think that the And WNBA allows this, and I think that part of the reason why they allow it is because why they allow it is because they want. They are misinterpreting this as getting the same kind of eyeballs that a regular rivalry would get. And it's not the same. This is just as nobody likes to see somebody getting beat up on just for the sake of getting beat up on. Like, they're mad at her because she's white and she's not a lesbian and she's not whatever.
I don't know, whatever these Marxist broads think, but they're mad at her because she's just good and she came in good and she's been. And the only time anybody pays attention is when she's on the court. This is not unlike policy in real life, by the way. Where the people who succeed and put in all the work are sidelined and knee-capped. overburdened and overregulated.
It's a lot of problems. A lot of problems with it.
So that's uh The latest, the ninth place. I feel like I need to be a male basketball player, though. Here's why. D'you see the payday this dude's getting? Payday.
Nobody's, everybody's talking about Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez. But they're not talking about Shia Alexander. He got a four year, two hundred eighty five million dollar super maximum contract extension. Steve, is that like a tech is that like an actual thing, a super maximum contract extension? Yeah, there's a difference between a max and a supermax, so essentially you get paid out for as long as you possibly can in your term deals and the selective bar.
It's a CBA thing, but th he can't get he can't get I mean, you can raise the amount of money because there's no salary cap, but he can get paid to, you know, that many times per that many years. Wow. Wow. That's pretty well see, I need to be a male basketball player then. I need to be able I need because I wanted to we could do that.
We could I could learn how to play ball. I won't be very good. I mean, I can play ball. I'm just never good. I couldn't even make varsity in school.
I did like soccer and track and everything else though. But yeah, 285. I will literally stretch my bones. And I will pretend to be a dude for that kind of money, man. I mean, just on the court anyway.
SGA put in one of the most impressive seasons in basketball history ever. He had the finals MVP, the regular season MVP. He took Oklahoma City to their first ever NBA title. I mean, it was impressive. Wow.
Wow. two hundred and eighty five million. with Oklahoma City Thunder all the way from 2030 to 31. That is the richest annual salary. for a player in the league's history.
Holy cow. I'd say so. I wouldn't even know how to spend all that money. I wouldn't even know.
So clearly, we are in the wrong industry. We need to be selling. We need to be like working in basketball. Our partners that help bring you the program. It's the folks over at Burnagun.
It's always good to have options. I mean, you have different calibers. You carry blades. You carry carbines. You carry pistols.
This is a great option for you if you are in one of these areas where you've got municipal restrictions. If you have private property restrictions, gun-free zone signs, whatever it is, or maybe you're a college student and you're going to be living on your own and you can't carry a pistol for self-defense, but you need something. This is where the Burner gun comes in. Look, I'm always going to tell you to carry and I'm always going to tell you to use lethal force. The other thing, use lethal force if your life is being threatened.
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So, if this is something that speaks to you, and I would highly encourage you again to diversify what you have in terms of weapons, check out the Burner gun, the SD and the CL. You can find them both at burna.com/slash Dana, B-Y-R-N-A.com/slash Dana. Burner, ready when you are. Hey, everyone, this is Carrie Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground, and you'd be right.
Because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With a twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for aid, your whole crew can join you. Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada.
In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles. The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all new twenty twenty five Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA dot com. Intelligent four wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions.
Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. And now, all of the news you would probably miss, it's time for Dana's Quick Five.
So apparently, China has a coffee chain now that is going to give Starbucks a run for its money. Starbucks is under fresh pressure. They're saying China's biggest coffee chain opened US locations with $2 drinks. It's called Luckin Coffee, and it has, apparently, they say super low prices and a no-fuel, no-frills menu. And in China, it's already very competitive with Starbucks.
Or you could just get a really nice coffee machine and make it at home. You know, there's also that option as well. This is a crazy story.
So, via CBS, a dad jumped overboard to save his daughter who fell overboard from a Disney cruise ship near Fort Lauderdale. And there's tons of video of it. He jumped in to save his young daughter after she fell overboard. It was on its way back to South Florida. They had to have a dramatic sea rescue.
And there's, again, like I said, tons of video about it online. It was on Sunday aboard the Disney Dream. It was sailing between the Bahamas and Fort Lauderdale, and a child went overboard during the final leg. Her father leapt in immediately after her. He treaded water for 10 minutes, for over 10 minutes.
They had the emergency alert sounded. The crew members launched a rescue boat and life preservers into the water. And they said that the ship was moving so quickly that it was crazy how tiny they became in the sea. And then you lose sight of them. And they said that they slowed the ship, turned it around, and deployed a tender with people on it to go rescue them.
And they were able to get them out of the water. But no idea how she fell overboard, though. No idea how that happened or the age of her, but thankfully, every Everybody's okay. They're trying to say now. That the GLP-1, the fat jabs, could actually treat migraines too.
Apparently, according, this is via Gizmodo. They're saying that people who have unresponsive chronic migraines received or experienced substantial relief after they started taking the GLP-1 drug, according to research from Italy. That's interesting. I read that there's a there apparently, I don't know how that reconciles with all of the side effects they say these things have, but that's uh, that's what this research says. A 92-year-old British man who was convicted of rape and murder in a 1967 uh cold case, finally got convicted.
Actually, can you imagine? Night since 1967, a cold case, and they finally figured it out. Uh, the individual, 92 years old now, Ryland Headley, he was found guilty by the Bristol Crown Court in southern England. He raped and murdered a woman, uh, and he was 75 years old when he killed her six decades ago. And they, the case was unsolved for 58 years.
He was told during sentencing that he committed a pitiless and cruel, pitiless and cruel act. Uh, the Dalai Lama is going to pick his successor, uh, and China's watching that one very closely. Kind of interesting. Uh, but they said he's addressing a three-day gathering. It's the uh Buddhist religious figures that are all ahead of his 90th birthday.
So, some international news there. And uh, additionally, scientists. reveal six attributes that mean you might be cool.
Well, what is cool? How do you define cool? Doesn't it change culturally? Like, doesn't it depend on like culture to culture? But they said there's a new study, international consensus, when it comes to what it means to be cool.
They conducted experiments with about 6,000 people from around the globe, and they found that people have surprisingly similar personalities. And they said that they rated them on their taste, their personalities. They said cool people are way more extroverted and autonomous and adventurous.
So that's some of the stuff that fits into it. His plan for the city-owned grocery stores, he wanted to tap in. to a $140 million. Bucket of subsidies for quote unquote corporate grocery stores, but that money doesn't exist. Oh.
Oh, yeah, it's not real. It doesn't exist.
So?
Okay. He, um thinks that It would cost $140 million. I mean, he would have. He would have to almost, and this is from Washington Examiner. It would require like 20 years for him to build a one government-run grocery store in each borough.
Washington Examiner has the whole story. His whole plan. Is based on a huge misunderstanding of the current grocery subsidies. The money that he plans to To use to pay for the city-owned grocery stores is actually money that the city doesn't have. He thinks that the city is spending, he actually thinks that the city is spending $140 million to subsidize.
Private grocery stores. And he talked about this before. In one of the videos that he had out, he said we're going to redirect city funds from corporate supermarkets to city-owned grocery stores whose mission is lower prices, not price gouging. And then he went and he did an interview This He said that this is how we're going to pay for the entire agenda. And he said that uh He said that that should be compared to the city's existing program called City Fresh, where they spend $140 million subsidizing corporate grocery stores.
So we would take less than half of the money the city is already set to spend and actually deliver results.
So the Fresh, the Fresh City Fresh, what New York has. It is the food retail expansion to support health.
So, F-R-E-S-H. Do you know what it means? It's um Literally just a bunch of tax breaks. And Regulatory, a suspension of certain regulations in certain areas that make it easier for grocery stores to open up. in what they call quote unquote food deserts.
It literally is not like a pot of money. It's a bunch of tax breaks. And r and suspension of regulation. He thinks That that means the amount of money that it regulates is the amount of money that they actually have in a pot somewhere. That he can just go stick his hand in.
I am not making this up. The subsidy includes tax breaks, building taxes, stay at pre-improvement levels for a few years, land taxes are abated. They have some tax breaks for building the store, some transfer taxes are cut. Et cetera, et cetera. Zoning relief, regulatory relief, all of that's included.
And they saved the grocery stores about a few million a year. Wow. And I don't know how his brain thought that that meant that that's $140 million in hard cash. What they said is the City's Economic Development Corporation estimated that grocery stores have of their own money invested. 140 million.
Thanks to that. City Fresh program. He is counting. The $140 million that grocery stores invested of their own money, private money, as government money. It's literally described quote the amount of money invested into New York City's economy threw fresh.
So the money was invested. by the quote unquote corporate grocery stores. and not by the city. He is one of the stupidest people. Who has ever lived?
Oh my gosh. He literally does not understand this, and he thinks. He thinks that he's, he just read that, oh, wait, $140 million? That's probably hard cash somewhere that I can get my hands on. But what he doesn't realize or what he misunderstood.
Is that this is the money, the amount of money that's been invested into New York City's economy by these stores through this program? It's not money for him to take. Like every other communist, this guy is also illiterate. Not just like in terms of reading comprehension, but mathematically illiterate as well. Oh my gosh.
But this is what happens when you're a Nepo baby who has never, ever, ever worked a job. And the closest thing to working a job that he's ever come Is when he was a failed rapper and mommy directed his rap videos. Not even kidding you. And they're so cringe, I could die. I don't understand how someone who is a millennial And should have a little bit better sense, is that cringe?
But here we are. I mean, he's 30-something years old and he's never, ever worked. Ever.
So I don't, it's like, I think the guys that in the movie Step Brothers, John C. Riley and Will Farrell, had like better ambition than this guy does.
So he had no idea what he was reading. And he literally went out in front of the nation and pitched this plan based on his inability to understand what he was reading on a government website. But what's more Is apparently he does not surround himself with anybody that corrected him. Nobody was like, dude, you're reading this wrong. That is not what that means.
There's not $140 cash sitting somewhere in a bucket for you to get.
Okay. That means that's how much money has been reinvested into the city. Through the City Fresh program by the stores. And he thought, oh my gosh, that's money I can take somewhere.
So Now we're back at square one. He's proposed big O government grocery stores. Where is that money going to come from? By the way. This is another reason why you don't hate the press enough.
of the press. Only one entity. Only one entity actually wrote about this. It was Washington Examiner. All of the New York press, nobody touched it.
No one in New York Looked at it, like, had the idea of going, wait a minute, this guy literally messed up and he does not know what he's saying.
So Are we all right about the story or not? No, no, shh. This is so embarrassing. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.
Hey everyone, this is Carrie Champion, the host of Naked Sports. The all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X provides freedom, freedom to explore, to go wherever you want, with your whole crew and all your toys. With a twin-turbo V6 engine, 8,500 pounds of towing capacity, and seating for eight, this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com.
Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. We all deserve some yay in our day.
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