Absurd Truth: No Kings

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Author, columnist, managing editor of LibertyNation.com, podcast host, and conservative policy advocate. We dismiss history at our peril. Liberty Nation with Mark Angelides. Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Keltech. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida Man. Hmm. Mm-mm. No, no, no, no. No, not this.

Unfortunately, yes. Um It's a smoking gun. A seven-year-old Florida man peed on spam and Vienna sausages. It's not the headline you were anticipating, is it? Cops charge that a witness spotted Patrick Mitchell relieving himself in aisle 18 at the Sam's Club in Lady Lake in Orlando.

The witness used her cell phone to take a picture of the defendant, reported the incident to the store employees per the probable cause affidavit. Sam's Club's managers reviewed the surveillance footage, spotted the dude walking up to the pallets and placing both hands in front of him below the belt line, and he stood there for several seconds. They said the, quote, behavior was consistent with urination. They confirmed that there was urine on two pallets containing 188 bulk units of UNIS sausages and 340. five units of eight count canned spam classic.

They said the whole thing had to be discarded because they were contaminated with grody bodily fluids from this old weirdo. I um and he apparently was a member. And he's been arrested before for disorderly conduct and mischief. And oh, uh, you know where he lives at, Steve, don't you? Yeah, if you had to guess where Mitchell lives It's Mm-hmm.

Is it Ryan with the billy? It does. That's right. the friendliest hometown in Florida.

So he's, yeah, he and his wife live in the villages. I. Don't understand what would motivate someone. I feel like that's a part of the story that really needs to be explored. Yeah.

Uh here we have another machete. A man was, a Florida man was stabbed with a machete and driven to the hospital by the guy who stabbed him with it. Angel Ramos. Arce. Arkey?

Arcee? I don't know. Got into a verbal altercation. Uh with the guy in a circle K. And apparently, they got an argument, and a machete was produced.

Someone got stabbed, and then the guy drove him to the hospital. But then he ran away apparently.

So they're asking for people to try to track him down. I'm sorry. I cannot believe the number of people who own a machete in Florida. And all my Florida friends are like, well, that's because it's a swamp and there's I'm like, you don't live in the jungle. I see your house on Facebook.

You live in a subdivision. You've got a nice mould lawn and beautiful landscaping. For Cran Out Loud, you've got an enclosed pool. There's windows all over it. Why do you need a machete?

I mean, I'm all for having machetes, but I'm just, I don't believe you all are out there whacking, you know, jungle planes every day. But iguanas are literally falling out of trees and landing on you. Yeah, do you just like bat them away with a machete? You feel like you're in somewhat of a video game. Like dark tide.

But it's just with a machete, and you're just protecting yourself all day long. You're just out there waylaying stuff, you're just surviving. Me and my friends were just waylaying things. Let's see. I got a couple of other.

Oh, I'm not going to. Nope. Definitely not.

Okay, well let's let me do this one real quick. This Florida woman Her last name. is fail. Not making this up. And she's smiling all pretty in her mug shot.

Uh 21 year old Miami I can't believe she's 21 21 year old Miami woman. She's facing multiple felony charges because she smashed a bunch of vehicles with a baseball bat. She made her own Beyoncé lemonade video. She struck her boyfriend. She apparently left a non-verbal child alone in a parked car and went to go beat up everybody's stuff.

She also got charged with a count of child neglect for leaving the child in the car. Apparently, all the people whose cars she destroyed were relatives of her boyfriend. Antoni Shafail. Oh my gosh, what a last name. One of the victims had a nephew that alerted police.

And she likes to busted off all the side mirrors. I mean, everything. She's on ring camera video footage doing it.

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Welcome to the Wealth Break Podcast, a real conversation about finance. Let's be honest. Building WEF doesn't look the same for everyone. I feel like sometimes being broke is a cycle and that we might have to revisit that. And we're not stopping at success stories.

What happens when it doesn't go right? How do you cope with it? Because wealth isn't just about money. It's about creating a life where you thrive and help others do the same. Listen to the Wealth Break podcast on the iHeartRadio app.

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So we have the no kings. Rallies or protest riots that are scheduled for June 14th. And they're trying to do them in a number of different states. They're trying to do it in Fort Worth here in Texas. They announced that they were going to do some in Florida.

This is what the Florida governor had to say about protesting people blocking roads. Listen. And we also have a policy that if you're driving on one of those streets and a mob comes and surrounds your vehicle and threatens you, you have a right to flee for your safety. And so, if you drive off and you hit one of these people, that's their fault for impinging on you. You don't have to sit there and just be a sitting duck and let the mob grab you out of your car and drag you through the streets.

You have a right to defend yourself. Amen. That's true. How many of these have you seen? I mean, we've seen a lot of this stuff over the years.

where people have been blocked in traffic. And they can't get out, and then people start beating up their cars, and they're just trying to leave and either get home or get to their. You know, their work or whatever it is. But these are coming up. I thought it was on Monday.

It's coming up on Saturday. It's these nationwide riots, the No Kings rallies. I'm so tired of this nonsense. They uh Have this all scheduled. They keep saying it's going to be peaceful.

You know what this means? It means news crews are going to be working overtime on Saturday. Everything's going to get watched. And They like Hillary Clinton was promoting it. And she's also promoting her little Fundraising pack.

Everybody's trying to grift off this thing. She goes, The right to peacefully protest is fundamental. No president can nullify it. It's in the Constitution.

Well, wait a minute, though. Is assault and arson? Is that considered is that in the Constitution? No. Hang on, let me control F it.

Let me just see. Uh The United States. We're going to Google, Google, Goodly Google, Googling right now.

Okay, let's control F arson. Oh, it's so weird. I'm not finding it in here. You know what? Maybe I used the wrong word.

Let's not control a fire. Let's control a fire. Mmm, no. Fires? Even the fire would have picked up the fires.

Hm nope. Let's see. Um destruction. Dook dook do nope. What about uh assault?

But brilliant. Do do Nope. What about throwing chunks? Let me put in throwing chunks of concrete at police. Throwing.

Let me see, you probably hear me type it. Uh throwing chunks of concrete at police. Oh no, that's also not in here, Kane. I'm having problems. Maybe there's something wrong with my browser.

Yeah. Not finding any of this in the Constitution, but Hillary. That elderly white woman who fell down in the street and lost her Tory Birch slipper, and then said everyone was racist for not voting for her in 2016, she maintains Kane. That this stuff is in the cut. This is peaceful protest.

I have no idea. It's in the cup, but I'm not finding. The arson.

Well, you know what? Let's look at looting. Louis. Nope. Stealing?

Mm. No theft. Nope. Taking. Nope.

None of it's in there. But I'm control fing it. I'm looking for this, Kane, and it's not coming up. None of these things are coming up in this, so what is happening? What the control F?

I don't even know. Oh my gosh, I'm looking I don't see it in here at all. Um I don't I don't see it.

Now, petition. The First Amendment says Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press or of the right of of the people to peaceably and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. Hmm, what do they mean, petitioning the government for a redress of grievances? What does that mean? Does that mean Would you consider taking a Giant Chunk of concrete.

And throwing it at a cop? That's it. That seems several stages past petitioning. Hmm. Yeah.

The phrase. Let's normalize. Oh, it's like the petitioning the government for redress of grievances. I mean Really, what that means is you are making a request by which you want to correct or somehow. A An injustice, a perceived wrong, or a perceived injustice.

And you're doing it. Through legal recourse. Huh. That kind of sounds, Kane. Like, that does not include taking giant chunks of concrete and throwing them down on cop cars from highway overpasses.

I didn't hear that. That kind of sounds like that does not include burning down businesses or looting. businesses. In fact, I would think that that would actually be an infringement upon someone else's right to be safe and secure in their own. Yeah.

Hmm. So. What is she talking about here? Goodness. Did she fall down again?

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Let's be honest. Building WEF doesn't look the same for everyone. I feel like sometimes being broke is a cycle and that we might have to revisit that. And we're not stopping at success stories. What happens when it doesn't go right?

How do you cope with it? Because wealth isn't just about money. It's about creating a life where you thrive and help others do the same. Listen to the Wealth Break podcast on the iHeartRadio app. Ryan Seacrest here.

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And now, all of the news you would probably miss: it's time for Dana's Quick Five. Panic in Ohio. That almost sounds like an album name. As a huge nitric acid spill grounds flights and sparks mass evacuations and creates an ominous dust cloud.

So, I first, when I read this, I just don't know why I thought citric acid in it. I was like, that's not a big deal. And then, no, I'm like, wait a minute, what's happening? Thousands of gallons of it. It was leaked from a tank at the Austin Powder Red Diamond Plant.

And they produce super fun industrial explosives that they use for construction and mining, like fun stuff, right? Stuff that goes biggity boom. Unclear how the leak started, but it happened. And that is. I mean it really I mean it's a It was only a hundred, what did they say?

It was 185 miles from the train derailment in East Palestine. That poor area, God love them. They're just dealing with some times right now, are they not? 200-pound wild pigs. Overtake California Parks.

These feral hogs, I'm telling you what, nobody, people who are I'll say it like my family would. Y'all some city folk. Y'all don't know how these wild hogs, these feral hogs, take over. They do so much damage and they are so dangerous. I mean, once you get these hogs going, I mean, they just destroy areas and they're so dangerous.

Nothing scares me more than a wild hog. Like, maybe a bear, but that's it. Like, wolf does not scare me like a wild hog does. Wild hogs terrify me. Maybe it has to do with what was it, old yeller?

Maybe. I don't know, old yellow. I can't even talk about that. But yeah, they said that locals up there, they're warning everyone. They said wild pigs live in 56 out of 58 counties in California.

And these are hybrids. They're part wild boar, part domesticate. I mean, really. That doesn't mean anything. They go wild.

It doesn't matter. They're not part domestic, part wild. They go wild. If you just stop feeding them grain and then you let them run out, they get all wild looking.

So there's that's weird to me, but they tear up all kinds of stuff, and people who have never dealt with it are freaking out in California. Can you imagine the Californians? What is this? Like these adorable little pegs. What is happening?

Food shortages at one of America's biggest grocery chains after a huge tech outage hits the supply chain. Hmm Oh my gosh, Kane just handed me a roll of tinfoil. It's the Whole Foods. They've issued a warning following a cyber attack on its main supplier. It's called United Natural Foods.

They were forced to shut down this stuff. And so that's, you know, that's unfortunate. Also, let's see, giant invasive lizards found loose in Bay Park area. And apparently, it is the. White Tegu, a predatory species from South America that can grow five feet?

And it eats small animals? It birds bird eggs. This thing eats us like a goat, like the animal, not the greatest of all time. Santa Clara County, they're looking for the, I mean, it's not going to be hard to miss, they're huge. It was identified as the Argentine black and white Tigu, and it's super predatory and it eats everything.

They said they're not going to harm people. Sure, sure, they won't. They look really weird. They look like crusty white things out. Look like Joe Biden out in the wild.

I want to switch gears here. 'Cause you guys know we have uh we have our rescue pup Wick, who's gonna be a year old soon. I'm interested in your feedback.

So, we're trying to make sense of his behavior. I think we have it figured out, but I've just never seen a dog do this like this. And we've had Frenchies before, and I've had a German shepherd before. Wick is he's like a combo of like a Belgian Malinoan, Rhodesian ridgeback, and he's he's a mutt. And we got him at the shelter when he was a puppy.

And so he um He's super sweet, and he's, you know, we've been training him. He's, you know, a combination of work, working breed, so he's kind of a handful. But he's been so good at training. He's one, I think he's like the smartest dog I've ever owned. And so he has these things, these beef cheeks, right?

And I get them at the store. It's beef collagen that's rolled in like a round. It looks like a dried-out pork roll. And it's rolled up and then like the dried out cheek meat covers it. and he gets those and he chews on them.

Lately, he has been taking his beef cheeks and he drops it in your lap and then stares at you. And at first we thought, He wants to play fetch or something with this oddly, but that's not what he wants. He wants you to eat it. Wick expects you, he's sharing, I was reading about this. Certain dogs, like sometimes breeds will, you know, sometimes dogs will, in their little pack, they'll share their toys and their treats, and he's sharing these.

But the problem is, is he won't leave you alone until he's thoroughly convinced that you are enjoying it.

So we literally have to pick this thing up. And we have to kind of obscure the fact that it's not exactly touching our mouth. 'Cause that's gross. And then we scratch where he can't see, and we have to make like noises. To make it seem like we're eating this thing, and then his tail starts wagging, and he gets super happy, and he'll just sit there and watch you enjoy it.

or he'll lay right by you and watch you enjoy it for a few minutes. And then if you put it down, He nudges it back to you. And then sits down and waits for you.

Now, if you don't do it, he looks at you like he's disappointed. His tail won't wag and he, like, stares at you and he'll sigh. Like waiting for you to eat it. And he. will not leave you alone.

This will go on until he is thoroughly convinced that you have shared it with him and you have enjoyed it. He's not going to leave you alone. Everybody gets a turn at the beef cheek. He's not going to leave. And then when he, you know, you've convinced him, he'll take it and he'll go chew on it in his what his place, his little, his little bed.

He'll go and he'll chew on it. I've never had a dog do that.

Now, Cain was like, oh, he hates Cain. Hates Cain. Wick does not like Cain. I don't, does he like Juan? I think he's warming up to Juan.

Barks just like that of Juan too. It's just that he doesn't see us during the we should have him as a studio dog. He should be in here in the morning hanging out while we're setting up. Are you kidding me? I think he would be.

He's still got that puffy energy. I think he'd eventually feel like it. That is a great idea with all the equipment and the cords and the cameras, the multiple thousand dollar cameras. We don't chew on anything. No, but he will get rambunctious and he will totally knock something down.

'Cause he's kind of bi he's a big dog. But you just want him to share speech eag with you. Kind of. Actually, that is most of it. It is hysterical.

Have you ever had a dog that did that? That would share, but like, not only like I mean, it's one thing if you're playing with it, but they expect he like wants you to know. I've had a black lab who was great at retrieving, too. You know what I mean? Like, it would go and bring you things, but.

This seems a little bit different than just bringing you things. It's like insisting that you enjoy the food. Mm-hmm. And, you know, kind of sad that you're not until you start enjoying it. And the reason I bring it up is: are we right in doing that?

Or is he looking at us like, you stupid morons? What are you doing? Or is he looking at it like, this is the craziest thing I've ever seen? I just wanted them to hold it. Maybe he's being grateful.

He's taken biblical passages. Oh, but he does. I mean, and he will go. Ephesians. He'll give it to like Chris.

And then when, you know, he's, and Chris is really good at convincing him. And then he takes the Nietzsche's on it a bit. And then he goes and brings it to one of my kids. And they have to go through the whole thing. And he's like, okay, yeah, that's right.

He's sharing to be grateful. It's super sweet. It's super sweet, but I just. I guess the reason I'm asking the radio audience is A, is that the right reaction to have? Is he like, you guys are nuts?

What are you doing? Now, I've had like Rocco would bury his stuff. Like, if we were anywhere, if we were sitting anywhere, if we ever had a blanket or anything, he would immediately give you one of his toys and he would bury it on you. Or he would sit by you to chew it just because he didn't want Louis to have it. And Louis would do the same thing.

Uh but I've never had it to where He expects you to actually enjoy it. And he will sit there and watch you, and then he'll literally walk to the side of you to make sure that your mouth is like, if you have to convince him. It is the craziest thing I've ever experienced with a dog.

So I'm just, I guess I'm like, is this? Are we, is this the right reaction? This is why we need to chat today. Is this the right reaction? Are we, or are we like not supposed to do that?

I don't know. Like, I've never had a dog do this. Like, here, chew this with me. I it's just, I don't know. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast.

If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, this is Carrie Champion, the host of Naked Sports. The all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X provides freedom, freedom to explore, to go wherever you want, with your whole crew and all your toys. With a twin-turbo V6 engine, 8,500 pounds of towing capacity, and seating for eight, this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today.

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