Absurd Truth: The Slap Heard 'Round The World

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See Lowes.com slash paint for more details. Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Well this comes by way of Fox 13. This is kind of a crazy story. So apparently Polk County deputies, they shot and killed an armed man who was attacked by an alligator while he was swimming across the lake. And then he charged at the deputies with a pair of garden shears. And then tried to grab a gun from one of the patrol vehicles.

And I mean I know there's a lot here. So it was in Lakeland, Florida. And he was armed with garden shears.

He, 42 year old Timothy Sholes. And this was Monday morning. He swam across a lake right before deputies arrived. And then he charged at them with garden shears after trying to take them. And they tried to take a gun from a patrol vehicle. They were searching for him just before 6 a.m. after he was reported, after they got called in by a convenience store clerk that reported on him. And they, residents of a nearby neighborhood, they called the sheriff's office.

This was the second report on the guy. They said there's a man out here swimming in an alligator infested lake. And they tried to throw him a life preserver and he was said to have growled at the neighbors when they tried to help him. And apparently witnesses, several witnesses told deputies that there was an alligator that was spotted swimming towards him as he was swimming across the lake. And he emerged from the lake. He apparently got bit by a gator while he was in the lake.

He was walking between houses holding a pair of garden shears. And then he tried to use a, tried to use a brick to break into another resident's truck. And they, they said that, this is what Grady Judd said, he said, quote, the fact that he was bitten by an alligator significantly and still continued his rampage is shocking.

But if you're on enough meth, the person you see is not the person that's attacking. So apparently he was methed up out of his mind. They did finally take him into custody. Well, they were going to get him into custody. They were trying to and he charged at them with shears and tried to break into a car and they had to shoot. So he, wow. I mean, can you imagine? First off, he got bit by a gator in an alligator infested lake and still swam out.

I don't even know. So, oh, can we, a Florida man who shot and poisoned dolphins was sentenced to one month. Yeah, a Florida man who shot dolphins and poisoned them.

He was sentenced to just 30 days in prison in a year of supervised release. The 31 year old Zachary Barfield shot the bottlenose dolphins and then used poisoned bait. They got mad, he got mad because they were eating from his charter fishing clients. And the, he shot at five of them killing one of them and then used poisoned bait on dozens more during outings from Panama City. And they said that he fed about 24 to 70 dolphins poisoned laden bait fish. Yeah.

And they said that he, there were all kinds of tips going in on him that he was killing wildlife. So what a jerk. Dude, take his license. Yeah, I wouldn't want him operating a charter. No way. Absolutely not.

I wouldn't want to go on any boat. That guy's driving. Good heavens. Let's see this. This is in Oakland Park.

I'm gonna pull this up. A Wendy's restaurant in South Florida. It was badly damaged by a vehicle. Vehicle ran right into the Wendy's and apparently it was a Wendy's employee who was behind the wheel of the vehicle that ran into the Wendy's.

No injuries were reported. They go, it's unclear what caused the employee to crash into the restaurant. Is it though? Is it unclear? I mean, it's early, early or late at night or early in the morning, depending on how you look at it and they drive into a Wendy's.

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Subject to change. This is very interesting. And I'm gonna wait for Juan to get this video up because he was arriving in Vietnam. And he was getting ready. He was waiting for the door, they were opening the door, and then he was going to deplane going down the steps.

And as they open the door, his wife shoves him in the face. And he just looked stunned. It was like watching a Jacques Tati film. I felt like I was watching like, some ironic French deep dive film where they mock politicians. And then he's like, Oh, my gosh, the door's open. I feel like he didn't know that. And he turned and looked and went, Oh, oh, oui. Bonjour. Slap, slap.

It's, I mean, I totally did get some Pepe Le Pew vibes. But that was kind of, now everybody has been Zapruder analyze, analyzing these moves. So his wife, that was his wife, Brigitte Macron, who did this, right? So she slaps him. Is that a slap or a shove? They were trying to say that it was a playful moment. And I'm like, No, sorry, it's not. I mean, her fingers were in his mouth.

In his dirty socialist mouth. That's, does that look like playful to you? It seems like she would have followed through and the smiles, you know, I mean, then you would have seen both of them in that shot. But instead, he's like, Oh, wait, let me wave at the camera here.

Hey, guys. Yeah, it Yeah, he was surprised. He was completely surprised that they that everybody saw it. And they were trying to say, Oh, well, it was, you know, it was just they were they were joking around. That's what his people said officially, that it shows that they were joking around.

I don't know. So she was 40 when he was 15. And she was a teacher and he was a student. He in fact, he was in the same grade as her daughter. He was a classmate of her daughter. And she divorced her husband in 2006 and married McCrone in 2007. And they've been married for a little while now.

But I, it's right, Kane. Dude. It's weird. That's some uncomfortable math. That was in high school. They met in high school. Now, reverse the sexes for a moment.

This is why I bring this up. She also was the wrong shade of foundation for her skin tone. She looks orange and her ears look pale. You can't do that. You can't you know, especially when you know, it's like a warm tone and you have a cool blonde. Why are you doing this?

Sorry, I just had to do it. I just thought they married in 2007. And I don't know, I just I'm just analyzing all of this stuff.

I feel like she's the power in this relationship. Well, I mean, that's, it's his, that's her daughter's classmate. And she again, she was 40. He was 15. And the his parents, I mean, McCrone's parents thought he was seeing Brigitte McCrone's daughter. And then when they found out that he actually had hots for teacher, they sent him to a boarding school. So what that suggests to me is if they're kind of suggest there was something happening in school.

That's what I think. They've never said as much, but it does definitely raise some issues there. And the she they've done a couple of interviews about it.

They've been very tight with how much information that they give out. But I mean, I don't know, they ended up getting married. And they've, you know, but that my whole point in bringing that up is to see her shove him in the face like that, even if they were joking. I don't I don't know, I don't to me, that doesn't look like joking around. That looks like her being a joke.

joking around. That looks like her being very forceful and bossy. I feel like she has the control in that relationship. And she kind of pushes him around, whether or not he would ever admit it. Maybe he likes being pushed around. I think people define happiness and strength differently from others. But that's not joking. I mean, if I were him, I don't know. I mean, I don't believe in hidden women. But I mean, I would give a little credence to Ike Turner here in this response to saying, Don't be hitting people if you don't want to get hit.

That's the size look at it. So he's like, Oh, hello. Oh, that's he just had a little little schmutz right about there. That's all she was getting that off his face. If you were joking around with your wife who was 25 years older than you came and cougared you while you were in high school, would you think that was a joking move right there? She probably couldn't reach my face.

But the joking thing would be like slapping somebody in the arm or hitting them in the chest or whatever. Stop it, you're, you know, playful, but putting your hands in their face like I don't think she's a dude. And I'm not going to pretend for Yeah, I don't think she's. No, I'm just saying out loud. I was thinking, okay, while you were telling me that I was like, hmm. And then it made me think she was pretty forceful. Yeah. So I don't in the face. That's not a playful move, like slapping the arm, the back. Her fingers were in his mouth. I don't know what I don't know, man. It and and so that immediately exploded.

Can you imagine touching down in Vietnam for like a state for state business? And this happens. And that happens. Don't do that stuff by the door. How do you not know the doors being open? Also, like just be a little bit more aware.

Good heavens. But they've been having to deal with us for the past like two days now. So they're like, Oh, my gosh, it's snow. It's we were just joking around. And, oh, the office downplays it. They're joking around someone, they had a body language expert, a couple different.

So the British publications love getting body language experts. And they said, Well, this, this shove tells you about the power play in the marriage. And he was mad. They said he made a fist like Arthur, that anteater from PBS. Like he made a fist like after, you know, like down by his side, like, Oh, he was mad.

And yeah, so they that's, they said that he was angry about it. But that wasn't a slap. Apparently, we have another angle of this slap.

Let's take a look at this. It's another angle. Is it? Is it? Oh, there it is. Yeah, she's a total.

It looks brutal. The McCrongos push in the face by wife was joke not domestic dispute. That's the BBC horsing around USA Today. Their scandal leave it to the New York Post, their scandal plagued relationship from student teacher affair to this shocking physical altercation. I mean, I just think it gives some insight into the power play into their relationship.

That's how I look at this. So I, I don't know, like he, but he apparently was, you know, he's all about Hunt and Cougar when he was in high school, man. He enjoyed spending time with his teachers, who knew, you know, he's such, and he enjoyed spending time with his teachers. He was at the Catholic Lycee La Providence. And her oldest daughter, they were, he was a classmate of her.

And he liked hanging out with his teachers. And they have all these videos and photos of them back when, like he was 15. It's really weird. It's just weird, man. And I don't know.

I don't know. But apparently, he had relationships. This is why I think that something inappropriate was happening earlier. So one book said that Brigitte's family found out about the, she apparently had affairs. And the accusation was that she was having an affair with him in high school, and that they got caught sunbathing in 1994, at the home of her parents. And that it was, it caused a lot of drama in the families when the affair was discovered, and then he was sent to boarding school.

Regardless, he was sent away at one point because of this. So just saying, I mean, reverse the sexes. Why is it that women always are like, oh, you can't be a predator because you're a woman? Have you ever met a woman? Women are natural predators, and men don't even know it half the time.

That's the thing. Like men are all out there and they do everything above board. Women are below board. Women, women are sneaky. So why don't why don't they act like she's a predator? Kane, this would have been, this would be scandalous if you had a leader in the United States today who had dated his teacher when he was 15, and then married her.

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Subscribe to the Miracle Files wherever you get your podcasts and join us on this thrilling journey of faith and miracles. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. Well, the patriarch of the Robertson family, Phil Robertson, has passed away at age 79. He was battling Alzheimer's in his final months. Everybody knows Phil Robertson and what the Robertson family did.

I really enjoyed the Babylon Beast headline. They said, oh, no, Phil Robertson, greeted in heaven by 12 million angry ducks. But he was very honest about it. He had a real rough life in the beginning.

He lived rough and then he cleaned himself up and found Jesus. And then, well, Robertson said, it's all history. But his family announced on Sunday on social media that he had passed or prayers are with the family there. Also, we see here, scientists have discovered a mysterious sphere in Colombia sparking UFO speculation. Now, don't get excited to see people. It's a mysterious metallic sphere and it was recovered after flying through the air in Colombia. And scientists are baffled because it was just flying through the air. They think they think it's a UFO.

It was over the western part of the country in March. It landed and was confiscated. It weighs four and a half pounds and it was cold to the touch. And I don't know, I don't think I think it was just I don't think it's an alien in origin. It looks pretty.

You think it does? It's an unidentified flying object. Well, I can throw a shoe in the air and it could be captured on radar. I identify that as a shoe.

What is that? I identified it as a shoe. It's not a UFO. Well, for a moment, it's unidentified. This is a big silver ball. It honestly looks like something you'd get at home goods and you'd put in a wooden bowl on your coffee table.

That's like apparently the big thing, says Instagram, is to put balls in a bowl on your coffee table. Yeah, so that would be, you know, just that's what it looks like. Let's see.

The FBI has announced new probes into the Dobbs Supreme Court leak and the White House cocaine in the Cubby incident. Oh, really? I think we're finally going to get to the end of it. Dana, why are we wasting our time on this stuff? Why can't we just do other? I want to waste time being petty. If you're being petty, it's not wasting time. That's a treat yourself, OK?

Treat yourself. Let's investigate the Cubby cocaine. All about that, right? I do wonder whose it is, though.

Their name probably couldn't rhyme with schmuntermeiden. I'm positive. And people are trying to buy 100% made in America, but it's really, really hard. We're going to talk about some of this coming up. It's a Wall Street Journal piece.

Stick with us. But in this moment, this moment, this morning, our sacred rule of law is under attack. Journalism is under attack. Universities are under attack. Freedom of speech is under attack. And insidious fear is reaching through our schools, our businesses, our homes, and into our private thoughts. The fear to speak in America.

Power can... I'm already falling asleep with this guy. Jiminy Christmas.

I can play this and just fall asleep at night. Welcome back to the program, Dana Lash with you. That's what's-his-face, Scott Pelley with 60 minutes, whatever, I don't care. Can you just give a commencement address where you're not a jack wagon and you don't have to, you know, turn your own crank about your political beef?

Is that possible? Oh, my gosh. Can't even have a graduation. Can't have a graduate.

Can't even have a commencement address without people being dumb about it. He, um, and I don't know what university that was at, but it wasn't just him. You also had Kermit the Frog. Yes, the puppet. Now, is it really too far off, though, for progressives, a felt animal with a hand up its backside to maneuver its mouth?

Is that really? I mean, we literally we just underwent four years of that ended in an administration. So is it beyond the realm of belief that we saw it with a commencement address? But apparently there was some upset over the puppet that delivered a woke commencement address. And this was SCCU.

So is the University of Maryland. Listen, I used to have a fun in the swamp playing leapfrog. It was our favorite game, kind of our only game. But we loved it. Except for my cousin, Albert.

He never actually left. He just stepped on your back and used your head like a lily pad. I'm sure he got ahead, but it was only by stepping on you. We've been told that that's how you succeed.

And some choose to believe it. But I know their step on that frog right now. So as you prepare to take this big leap into real life, I'm going to be like Naboo from the Nabootique. Mighty Bush. I don't like this frog. I'm going to give him a squeeze.

That was a deep dive. So it's a puppet, Kane. It's a puppet at it. I'm done.

I'm just going to throw things now and we'll finish the show that way. You deserved, you people who had a puppet for your speaker, you deserve it. I don't feel bad for you.

People said that it was way off base. And he said, quote, rather than jumping over someone to get what you want, consider reaching your hand out and taking a leap side by side. Step the hell off.

No, no. What you do and the choices you make are your choices. And that is your direction in life.

You do not owe it to anybody. This is not do not conflate those with being a good with good stewardship. It's not the same thing. And life isn't better when you leap together. What if you change yourself to somebody like Mike Brown? Hands up, don't shoot. Oh, wait. What?

I mean, you got to think about who you're leaping with. I might just just do it. Just just give a commencement address, make it about the grads and shut up. Take a little honorary whatever and shut up and get off this stupid stage with your shut up mouth.

Nobody cares. But it's a puppet. I would have gone out there and slapped it.

Just pop it. It doesn't reflect how I thought the Muppets were. They were I thought they were a little rebellious. I thought the Muppets remember the Muppet movie. I mean, is this a kid thing? You're a grown ass adult and you're standing there at your commencement address. You're in your 20s.

You're getting a college degree and you have a child's show puppet who's giving you your commencement address. Really? OK. I mean, I just to me, that's like you couldn't get anybody better.

You couldn't get anybody better. You're just kind of talking down to the college kids. I don't know. I don't know. But to even to to make it a wokery thing, the way that they did is I don't know. I just kind of take a breath whenever we have these commencement addresses.

I just kind of, oh, what's it going to be like? I just I just noticed the older I get, the less tolerance I have for any of this to the point where it needs to be vocalized. Right. And not just on my radio program.

I can't imagine I have a puppet. But that's how seriously they take this. Apparently, if you wanted to know how seriously they take your kids.

If you're a young adult, you're in your early 20s and you wanted to know how seriously they take you. Then that's there's the private. There's the example right there. So we had a 15 minute speech and they had a sing along.

And how wait. So you had somebody walk up and kneel down underneath the podium and then stick their hand up this frog's backside and hold their arm up there. So you saw the person walk up there. It's not like you saw Kermit the Frog walk up. Right. It's not.

It was somebody. And they had to get down there and then do the frog. So no suspension of disbelief. No, no.

I just that's just as cheesy and it's goofy. All of it's just just give your just give the commencement colleges just do right by the students for once in your god awful lives. Just do right by the students and have like a decent commencement speaker, please. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Hamas releases its last American hostage just hours before Trump's trip to the Middle East. Lefties in the media now insist they didn't hide Joe Biden's decline. It was their sources who lied and Homeland Security is investigating whether Los Angeles County gave our Social Security benefits to illegals. I'm Greg Kourambas inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the three martini lunch podcast. We'll give you the good, bad and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs, too. Follow the three martini lunch on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.