Absurd Truth: Black Dandyism

Liberty Nation with Mark Angelides. From training the swamp to challenges through the courts, Donald Trump has his work cut out. But does he have the motivation to finish the job?

You'll find out on Liberty Nation Radio. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. A Florida man was sentenced for assaulting a DFW gate agent. 53 year old Florida man was sentenced to four months in federal prison for assaulting the DFW gate agent in October of last year. He pled guilty to interference with security screening personnel.

He faced 10 years for the crime. He was at the gate. Security footage showed him repeatedly punching the gate agent in the head.

Now there have all been times when we felt like doing that. But you don't do it because assault is illegal. And he admitted that he did it.

I mean obviously because he's on camera doing it. But they removed him from the jet bridge and you can't do stuff like that. Some people are special other than you. You can't do that kind of stuff. I'm just saying. Find a different way to resolve.

Am I supposed to feel super sad? We've all been in a bad. We all have bad stories. But you can't do that with them because they're particularly protected.

Let's see. Florida Man speared feces in jail cell after his DUI arrest at Santa Rosa Beach. That's kind of gross. I'm not doing the one where the guy had three wives in three different counties because for the fourth day it keeps appearing in these headlines. So this guy, he was in jail, Santa Rosa Beach. He was taken in Walton County. He was driving under the influence. There was all these disruptive incidents. And they arrested 47-year-old Jason Buchanan. And he was harassing people, confrontational.

When they got him, he went to the bathroom in his cell and made a giant mess. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash here at the bottom of this first hour. We're in a Brit, pop Brit rock, like late 90s early aughts mood because of the rain and the storm here in Texas. It's not helping the mood.

We're really more cynical and gothy than we are normally. So it's good to be with you. Channel 347 is the stream over at DirectTV. You can also catch us, X, Rumble, where the chat is.

I'm not responsible for what those people do. Facebook, YouTube, all that good stuff. I could sit here and we could just talk forever all three hours about Tara. There's other stuff happening.

So we're going to circle back. One of the things that I do, it's like a guilty pleasure, is I love people watching. I read the Daily Mail, which is a garbage paper because I like to people watch. Just like if you go out and you have a glass of wine, it's nice enough.

You're sitting outside talking with your friends, your spouse, whatever, and you're just people watching outside. So the Met Gala, which I normally don't pay attention to and haven't for like ever, because it's usually a bunch of stuffy people that wear overpriced stuff and they try to be very extravagant. And it's all for the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Anna Wintour, who helms Vogue, she organizes it and she's like notoriously steely about whoever gets in and you know what the theme is. So the theme last night, and I thought it was kind of odd, because it seemed like it was very, well, it seemed like it was very racially charged. So there's a style, it's called dandyism, right? And dandyism was black or white. It was all, you know, all manner of everything.

And it was basically, how do I put it? Like you're dressed into the nines, like when you step out with accessories on point, like you've got the hat, you've got the fascinator if you're a lady, you've got, you know, everything is like perfectly tailored. You look sharp, it's pressed, you look like you just hopped out of a band box.

You look nice. Now, it's always, and I love tailoring in proper dress because I think it's a sign of a healthy society. I am super old school and I go into rabbit holes with this stuff. What they did yesterday is they wanted to focus specifically on black dandyism with an emphasis on structure with clothing. Now you might be like, what does that mean?

Really? I don't know. It's up for interpretation. If you look at some of the people who arrived at the Met Gala. Now the Met Gala is this big fundraiser thing that they do for the Metropolitan Museum of Art. They're one big thing a year. Everybody goes to it.

Well, not everybody. It's a very like Anna Wintour specifically selects each guest. So they wanted to explore black dandyism specifically, which I thought, okay, it's Anna Wintour.

She's super far left. Of course, it's going to be racially charged, whatever. So it just basically means you're going to dress to the nines.

You could pay homage to like, you know, I guess like black iconic members of art or whatever. And then your outfits are supposed to be a little structured. Usually this is where people get weird with their stuff. They get experimental. Experimental, I guess makes sense in some sense. I am one of those people that believes that form follows function.

But I also think you don't have to rob at a flare. So some of them might like the dude who had a fake piano strapped to his back yesterday. I just didn't get it. And, you know, I was looking at this and my first thought when I watched all these people first, I first thought the guest list was kind of a downgrade. There, apparently there was like an OnlyFans person that got invited.

How does that even happen? Now wait, don't show up. We'll get to the Pam Anderson thing in a minute because that's a whole other topic. So the first thing I thought was, I guess they're just inviting anybody and everybody here.

Kamala Harris attended last night and she was in a Cruella de Vil gown that was half black and half white. And the way British, I think it was British folk, they said, Oh, she looks stunning. That is an overused word. Like I see people all the time go, that's gorgeous or that's stunning. I'm like, no, it's not.

That's like mid. Stop. She's not stunning. It was, it looked like a jersey dress from, you know, like a wrap dress from the 90s. Juan's getting ready to show you what she. Okay, so this is her outfit.

First off, if you're going to wear a neck scarf, you don't need dangly earrings because there's too much happening there in the neck area, particularly with the pleats going around the shoulder. I get very weird about this stuff. Also, I don't understand what's happening with the sleeves. Like one of the sleeves is blousy and the other one's more structured. There's no structure in this dress. And if it's satin, it's such an unflattering material and it just drapes across her pitifully highlighting all of her worst areas. Why would you wear this?

I don't like asymmetrical necklines with neck scarves like this and then completely out of place dangly like quasi chandelier earrings. Stop it. I am my grandmother. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. That just hit me.

I'm 90. So you see what I mean? I just don't like it. When you wear a dress like that, you shouldn't have two humps, the bust in the belly. Okay, you can't. You got to, you know, you got to pick one over the other. You can't, you can't have something that drapes like that. I know guys don't care about this, but guys, I'm giving you an insight into the female psyche.

So just bank it. Okay. So I was looking at this. I'm like, well, damn, they just invited anybody and everybody. I was waiting to see like, what's his face?

Billy Ray Cyrus show up, although he's dating Elizabeth Hurley right now. So that's a whole go dude. Google that. Google it. Cano don't have a heart attack.

Billy Ray Cyrus is dating Elizabeth Hurley, who was the punk queen in her day before she got with Hugh Grant. Google that. I was highly, I was like waiting to see him step on the red carpet. And then I can't remember who this guy was with the piano on his back. But okay, I don't know what's the red bean. Okay, you know, I don't know.

He looks like he just got, you know, like a, an achievement in dark tide and he's wearing it on his back. I don't understand what's happening, but okay. It's accurate.

So here's my thing. You have all these people, they have the structured dress. Some, some, some look nice.

98% look like trash. I thought Zendaya looked really good. I thought her outfit was nice. I love her headwear. Make headwear great again.

Hats on women need to become a thing again. But can we talk about Pam Anderson for a moment? Because there are a lot of people that were questioning her. Now, if you don't follow Pam Anderson, I mean, clearly she was married to Tommy Lee. Everybody knows that she was the Baywatch babe.

She was like the 90s icon. So she shows up, she got her hair cut. And she's been in a thing where she doesn't wear makeup. And she did it for health reasons.

If you follow her, she explained why she doesn't wear makeup. She wants to be healthy. She cooks organically. She even has a cooking show that Meghan Markle totally ripped off poorly because Pam Anderson actually cooks. She makes all her own food. She grows her own vegetables. I mean, she's super healthy and fit.

That takes a lot of effort. So she's been going to these events with no makeup on. So she showed up at the Met Gala last night and a lot of people were going, can you believe how dowdy and frumpy she looks? I need a full stop with these people because most of the people that I see criticizing her looks would not be given a second glance from a one or two out of 10 at the bar.

Okay? The people who are criticizing her, they're like ones and twos. I need them to take a million seats right now because ugly people don't get to comment on Pam Anderson's outfit.

So first off, let's start with us. She's 57 years old. Her skin is flawless. She puts a lot of effort into taking care of herself. For the people who think that effort is only manifest by wearing a butt ton of makeup on your face, right? I hate makeup. I don't even have eye makeup on right now.

I have mascara and that's it because I can't stand makeup and it's humid here. So she has amazing skin, 57 years old. She has not had plastic surgery. She is naturally fit. She is wearing a completely appropriate, perfectly tailored, structured dress befitting the theme. Her haircut is on point.

The bangs may not be my taste, but they're well executed. She's 57. I know 20 year olds who could not go on the red carpet barefaced because their skin looks like asphalt, right?

They look like it's like pockmarked. I know 30 year olds who do not have this woman's figure. So she shows up naturally looking better than 95% of the people there. That's a win. She looks amazing and there is no shame.

News flash. Women don't have to be boobs out with caked on makeup, spider leg lashes, hair extensions out the ass. You know with full everything, acrylic everything. They don't have to look like a wrung out, try hard, OnlyFans wannabe sex pot. They can also look like this and have some natural beauty. So mega props to Pam Anderson for flying the one finger salute in the face of society and restating what true feminine beauty looks like. Mega props to her and for all the ones and twos and mids that are criticizing her.

Let's wait until you're 57 years old and let's parade you on the red carpet with your natural skin and your figure and let's see if you can even remotely compare. So I thought she was the one of the winners of this and I, you know, I told Kane on break, I look at things like this, like events like this as a kind of like a temperature check on society, right? And I was looking at the people that were on the red carpet and it just looked like it was nothing.

It just looked like it fell off. It looked like a symptom of a sick, sad, broken society, right? Broken fashion.

Just, you know, people who tried too hard. Oh, wands getting Zendaya. I thought her outfit was perfect. Perfectly tailored suit. Perfect hat.

She was a winner. This is what, you know, feminine beauty. You don't have to be like OnlyFans. You don't have to, you know, with the Jasmine Crockett eyelashes and the extensions, you know, out to there.

You don't have to have all that. But otherwise, I thought it looked like just a sick, sad society. I did. And I love that Payne Anderson, her face was so shining. I mean, she just like was light. She just, I loved it. And I'm not like a big fan.

I'm not like a major fan. Like I haven't followed her all her life. I just saw, you know, some of the things that she said. Good on her.

Good on her, right? Isn't that what we want? Or no, we want fake stuff, right? We want fake engagement. We want fake everything. We want fake news. We want fake lives.

We want curated carousels that only show off our best moments. Fake, fake, fake. I mean, that's literally part of the digital sickness. And we expect it to translate to real life events like this. And when it doesn't, we're like, Oh, my gosh, that's so unlike what I'm used to seeing on Instagram where everybody looks like they're made of marzipan.

They're all flawless. Everyone, you know, uses a filter. I don't even post pictures of myself when I'm in bad light. Admittedly, I totally don't. Everybody uses something just so you know. But no one wants to be honest about it because everybody's supposed to be perfect.

That is a digital sickness. And it's something that we who are all about conserving individual power. And I think being who you are is part of that individual power should be pushing back against. So good Pam Anderson, good on all these people for like looking nice and all this stuff.

Otherwise, oh, my gosh, there was some absolute misses. Men do not need to be in skirts. I don't care unless you're Scottish. Don't do it. And it's not a skirt.

It's a kilt. But don't do it. You know, don't do it.

I don't want to see it. Some of the men look like fruitcakes. They just did.

I'm like, some of y'all look a little bit light in them loafers and not in a fashionable way. I have to say. So you can't even pay any attention to any of this. That's the biggest dose of estrogen some of them are listening to will get for this year. It's just that right there. But I do think it's like a sign of a sick society. It is, isn't it not?

Like you look at some of the stuff and you're like, oh, my gosh, this is supposed to be the best. Steve DJ Fonicle said that Sabrina Carpenter looked like an M&M. I barely know who she is. She has way too many extensions. Like you should not look like Aslan.

Like Kristi Noem needs to stop with the extensions that look like she skinned Aslan and put it on her head. Quit. Stop it.

Your natural hair is pretty. Stop doing that stuff. Stop it. And also platform shoes. It makes you look like Clydesdales. Oh, if you think I'm even remotely done, I'm not because we have the New Yorker magazine spread that looked at all of these dirty hippies and leftists.

If you get my newsletter at Substax. So that's Sabrina Carpenter. Those are Clydesdale hooves. Those aren't feet. Those aren't heels. Those are Clydesdale hooves. Every time I see them, I think, clop, clop, clop, clop, clop, clop. That's all I hear.

That's all I hear. Ladies, you're supposed to be like elegant and and not like and most women can't even walk in heels anyway. It's like watching toddler stomps to stop.

Anyway, so if you think I'm even remotely done, stick around. I feel like, you know, somebody's got to be Joan Rivers. God love that woman.

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Subscribe to the Miracle Files wherever you get your podcasts and join us on this thrilling journey of faith and miracles. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. Alrighty. So a Georgia camper kills a rabid bobcat with his bare hands. He said it was either him or me. Georgia man was left fighting for his life. A rabid bobcat attacked him while he was out camping. Okay, can I just say this is another reason like why? I mean, I'm all for going out in nature, but I ain't gonna sleep out in it because we invented the house as a people.

You know, as humans we invented the house. But this feller, Midway, Georgia, Hunter Hudson, he's out camping and a bobcat struck without warning. And he says it was me or him. It was me or him.

And I got two little boys, 12 and 5, and daddy's coming home. He said he was enjoying a quiet campfire when a sound in the dark just shattered the night. I heard a crazy noise.

You know, I never heard it before, he said. And then that bobcat came out of nowhere. His friend apparently got the video without even helping him. I'm like, help him.

His friend's recording the video like, ah. He says, I walked out of my camper and got attacked by a bobcat. He goes, I wasn't looking for the bobcat.

The bobcat found me and jumped on my shoulder. He said his gun was out of reach, so he had to rely on pure instinct. He said he grabbed him, pulled him as hard as he could, took his thumbs and put him in his nose, hurt his nose so he couldn't breathe. He had blood running at the end of his fingertips.

He said I had to call the ambulance. And then the bobcat tested positive for rabies, so he had 40 shots. And they're about a half an inch to an inch needles. They're real painful shots. I mean, modern medicine had not improved on them. They are real painful. You gotta get that medicine deep in there. But his friend had the footage of it, and I'm like, did he stop to hand you the gun at any point? Or, you know, where you could have at least shot it in the head, something?

I don't know. In Massachusetts, if you smell cucumbers in your home, get out. Now, wait a minute.

This is not right. I grew up with copperheads. I don't think they smell like cucumbers, but they say that it mimics the scent of cucumbers. It has a musk, but I don't think it's like cucumbers.

Kane, you grew up around copperheads too. I mean, how we'd be out in the woods all the time. I don't remember this cucumber smell, but they say whenever they get bothered or threatened, that that's the scent they give off.

There is a musk that you can smell. But cucumbers? I almost stepped on one one time. I had a dog that attacked by it.

We got in a nest of them. How you say cucumber? How you say cucumber? If you wanted to be Hillary, what's her face?

Baldwin. How you say you get the hair away from the copperhead snake? How you say cucumber? That woman. I've never heard of that before.

Cucumber. Men are shaving off their eyelashes because they said that it makes them look feminine. Stop it. Stop doing that, men. A famous gorilla hurls a rock into a crowded zoo and hit a man on the head. I feel like doing that some days.

Some days I feel just like that Harambee wannabe right there. I do. As we move, our partners that will bring you the program. It's our friends over at Kel-Tec. Finally, the Gen 3 Sub 2K. I've been waiting for this for a very, very long time. I love the PR 57, but the Sub 2K, I've been waiting for 10 millimeter and now it is here.

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K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com. Tell them. Dana sent you. Can we also discuss how CNN thinks that Mexicans are too afraid to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with Audio Sunbite 5? Because I'm. We've got to talk about some media malpractice. Go ahead and hit us with this one. Today is May 5th, and that means Cinco de Mayo Wolf, a holiday that celebrates Mexico's victory over France. But some in the Battle of Puebla, I should say, but some communities have canceled or scaled back cultural events because of President Trump's crackdown on illegal immigration and the fear among many Latinos that they could be arrested. Why thank you, white blonde woman and the man whose name is Wolf.

Thank you. So one of my friends and so I'm going to ask, why did Jason Cain and Juan here? So even though it's like a Mexican thing, one of my friends who is Mexican says that no real Mexican actually celebrates Cinco de Mayo. Is that true? It's actually true. I mean, we may have some Mexican food that day, but what is there to celebrate?

Honestly, what is there to do? My friend, she goes, look, the only people who celebrate this are the suburban people who go out to like, you know, TGI Fridays and they have some margaritas. Those are the only people who celebrate it. Is it true?

Well, and the businesses that sell those things. Well, yeah, but it's not like a giant. It's not a giant Hispanic celebration, is what she was saying. No, it is not. Because I was like, wait, you've never celebrated.

She was like, no. Nope. Interesting. There's nothing like, like every year, you know, we do the Fourth of July, we have like the barbecue and the fireworks and there's a whole buh buh buh. You've got to cook out, yeah. Yeah. For Cinco de Mayo, it's not. It's like, wow, grab one of the, let's get an avocado on that taco today.

Put an extra lime on the mark. It's not a big deal. Yeah. I was just dying laughing at it because I thought it was hysterical. But leave it to the, I mean, you know, she is the lady on CNN, the blonde white savior there.

Oh, my goodness. How racist is that? Oh, there's security to even celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Well, it's the white people that they're serving that are celebrating Cinco de Mayo. And they're not celebrating Cinco de Mayo for the same reason that they all pretend to be Irish on St. Patty's Day. They're not celebrating St. Patty. They're drinking. That's what it is.

It's exactly. It's a drinking day. It's a day where you can drink and it's like, oh, you're drunk and it's two o'clock. Well, it is St. Patty's Day.

Oh, you're drunk and it's two o'clock in the afternoon. Oh, well, it is Cinco de Mayo. That's acceptable.

Same thing. Maybe I'm being too, so am I, I was raised, it wasn't, it's not a written, formally written rule, but it's like, you don't get drunk when the sun's up, is the rule. Unless it's Fourth of July. Right. Maybe St. Patty's Day. But, but, you know, then that's acceptable. You're at a cookout. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, otherwise, nah, not for a minor thing.

You don't, you don't do that stuff. But Cinco de Mayo is like the St. Patty's Day. It is. It's the Mexican St. Patty's Day. It's like America's excuse to day drink. Yeah, it is.

That's right. It's, it's the, they're, they're one, like Halloween is the chance to walk around in slutty stuff for like a lot of women. Exactly. This is, yeah, exactly. Excuse to day drink. I just, I was laughing hysterically over that because, you know, then you, then it looks even more ridiculous when you see that CNN soundbite, when you hear it.

Oh my gosh, Wolf, me, a blonde haired, blue-eyed white woman. All the Mexicans are so scared to celebrate Cinco de Mayo because they're going to get totes arrested. I can't believe this is an actual CNN thing.

And he sat there like, you know, again, this is my favorite thing to say right now, a cigar store, Andy, and just blinking, you know. So they, they're canceling this. They're afraid of being deported by ICE. I don't think, could you be any more racist there? Could you be more racist?

You see, I don't even know who that was. They just rotate these people to sit in by Wolf. But. By the way, they can self deport.

They don't have to be at the mercy of ICE. Okay, can we talk about that coming up? Because I don't want to pay anybody to self deport. GTFO.

What? I'm not paying you $1,000. I do. You can self deport or I will drag you out by your ankles. I disagree with you 100%.

And I will yeet you the hell over the Rio. I completely disagree with you 100%. I am not paying, where's the money coming from, Cain? What, what do you mean? It's coming from the saving.

Why is the carpet wet, Todd? Did you see the per person, did you see the per person of the cost it does per person to deport using ICE? No. And then what it costs, the cost, the suggested cost for self-deporting. No, no. And do this with your hands all you want to when you talk.

More than $10,000 per person savings by doing the self-deportation. Cain thinks that if he makes, if he emphasizes doing the chef kiss hand, that it makes it more accurate. I do. It doesn't. So, no.

Sometimes talk with my hands. No, no. Why, why is it, that's first off, that's a, that's a false argument and here's why.

It's not. Why do we have to give them any money? You can deport or you can get yeeted the hell over the Rio. I'm sure Daddy Holman's got some arm strength. Do you think it's free to get yeeted?

That he can just lob you over by your ankle. Do you think it's free to get yeeted? Is that what you think? I would yeet someone over for free.

Yes, of course, you and I would totally do that for free. No, hear me out, hear me out, hear me out. My dream, I want to make a trebuchet.

I don't know why, it's a fascinated medieval weaponry in the balance of which, you know, I think it's amazing. I'm still with you. We could just put a bunch of them in there and just beep boop. I am 100% for that idea. It's still not free. The trebuchet costs money. I would pay for its construction.

Yes, but it still costs money. You would have a bowl big enough to fit 20 illegal immigrants in and then just beep boop right over. This is a great idea.

The cartels can lay some pillows down on the other side. Crapping on the idea, I just, there's a money savings here. The money savings is to yeet them over.

And there are a lot of people who would do it, like myself, who would love nothing more than a weekend warrior trip. It turns out that self-yeeting is cheaper. That's not self-yeeting if you're paying them. It's self-yeeting.

If you're incentivizing illegal crossing and then they're going to come back because then you're leaving the door for them to come back. To a tune that's much cheaper. Oh my gosh. Oh no, no. I am not going for less money. I'm going for no money spent. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.