My Spouse Is Creating a Dreadful Family Environment. What Do I Do?

My spouse is creating a dreadful family environment.

What do I do? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of Core Christianity. Hi, it's Bill Meyer, along with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. You can also post your question on one of our social media sites, including YouTube.

In fact, you can watch Adriel right now live on YouTube. See what he's wearing. It's very sharp today. And you can always email us your question at questionsatcorechristianity.com. First up today, here's a voicemail from one of our listeners.

This is Steve. I've heard in the last few days he's talked about communion, and that his church apparently uses real wine. Ours doesn't. And I guess I've never heard anybody express it exactly that way. So what do you do when kids trust in the Lord and they have Jesus living in their life? They're Christians, and they're 12, 13, 14, up to age 20.

You're kind of asking them to break the law, I think, in most states, by serving them alcohol or not asking them, but it seems like we might even be breaking the law. So I'd love to hear an answer on that. Thank you very much.

Thanks for your radio show. Hey, Steve, thank you for that question. Excellent question, one that I've heard before. What about these kids who have made a profession of faith and they're taking the Lord's Supper?

I've never, you know, to be honest with you, I've never seen it as that big of a deal. I mean, in the context of Christian worship, we're not, you know, this little thimble of wine. We're drinking this as a sign and seal of God's gracious covenant with his people. This isn't, you know, us trying to get drunk or recreational drinking.

But believe it or not, you know, your question got me thinking about this more. There are a number of states that do make provision for, you know, minors drinking in the context of a religious ceremony. I'm getting this information from religiouslibertyinthestates.com.

They've got a helpful page where they sort of outline, you know, each of the states and kind of, you know, whether or not they allow consumption. Consumption is permitted in different circumstances, one of those circumstances being in the context of worship. And many states do make provision for something like a church service where, you know, young minors are going to be participating in the worship of the church and partaking of the Lord's Supper. Some don't, though. Like California, where I happen to be a pastor, where I happen to be a minister. And so that does raise this other question. Well, you know, what about Romans 13 and obeying the law of the land?

Those kinds of things. I don't think it's ever going to be a thing where the states that don't have this provision, it seems like an oversight for me. I don't think it's going to be a thing where, you know, they're requiring churches, pastors, priests to card people as they're coming forward to the Lord's table.

That would be pretty wild. But here, you know, I think this is one of those instances where I would want to say, you know, when it comes to worship, the worship of the church and how that should be conducted, this is where, you know, we have God's word that guides us. The word of God, God's revelation is what guides us, not first and foremost the government or the state. And so, you know, say the state is saying, well, you're not allowed to worship Jesus.

You're not allowed to say that Jesus is Lord. Well, we would say with the disciples in the book of Acts, you know, it's, you know, what do you think is more important for us to obey God, his voice, his commandments, or to obey man? And when there's a conflict there, we say, well, we need to obey the Lord. We need to obey God rather than man. Now, of course, I've said on the broadcast when we got this question before about grape juice or wine and the Lord's Supper, does that mean, do I think that, you know, churches that are using grape juice, they're not really taking the Lord's Supper? No, I don't believe that.

I wouldn't go that far. But certainly, Jesus did institute this sacrament, this ordinance with wine, and wine is a picture of that feast, that eschatological feast. He used a big word there, but that feast of heaven, we might say, right? That feast of heaven that we're looking forward to, that's described in places like Isaiah chapter 25. It's the food of God's kingdom, this celebration. And wine is this drink of celebration. You think of Jesus turning water into wine in Cana of Galilee.

And so there's something significant about that. This is why I think, you know, why I think we should have wine in the context of the Lord's Supper. But again, you raise a really good question, and I appreciate you bringing it to our attention. I think again here that we ought to do things in accordance with how Jesus told us to do them. And fortunately, it's not something where, you know, the state, the government is making a big deal about this, and they're, you know, dragging people off to jail for taking or serving the Lord's Supper to people who are under 21 who have made a profession of faith.

God bless. You know, I've shared this story before. My church, we use grape juice for communion, but we were visiting Adriel's church and brought my 15-year-old daughter with us. And so we're about to take communion. And so I know she doesn't realize this is going to be wine in this cup. So I lean over and I go, Honey, it's wine.

Because the last thing I wanted to happen was she takes the communion cup and goes, because she's not expecting it to be wine. But it worked out fine. It worked out fine. Yeah, there was no big scene. I was watching Bill to make sure that you guys behaved yourselves. Apart from falling asleep during the sermon. Oh, I did a pretty good job, Bill. Adriel was on fire that day by coming out of Revelation with the AC was not working.

All right. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. Our phone lines are open. If you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life, here's the number. 833-THE-CORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. Let's go to John in St. Louis. John, what's your question for Adriel? Hello, can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you, John. How are you doing?

Yeah, I'd like to ask you a question. Why is there the rise of crime and just all kind of evil that's being unleashed on the United States and other countries? Is that similar to the days of Noah where people just kept marrying and continuing buying and selling and just ignoring God's word? And also, is there more punishment for people that have already observed events like Noah's days of Noah's Ark? Will future generations be punished more because they already have evidence that they continue the evil? All right, thanks. Two questions there.

Let's start with the second one. Do some groups get a severe punishment because of what they've experienced, the ministry that they've experienced? And I think that we would have to say in line with the teaching of the Bible if the answer to that question is yes. In fact, there's this really interesting scene in the Gospel of Matthew, in Matthew chapter 11, and I'm turning there right now. Matthew chapter 11, where Jesus is pronouncing woes on the cities that did not repent. He says in verse 20, or we read in verse 20, And he began to denounce the cities where most of his mighty works had been done, because they did not repent. Woe to you, Corazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for Tyre and Sidon than for you. And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? Will you be brought down to Hades? For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I tell you that it will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom than for you.

And so there's the answer to your question. Yeah, you know, these places where Jesus has done these mighty miracles, these mighty works, and the people saw that, they knew it, they heard the preaching, and yet they chose to reject it, not to believe. They didn't repent. It's going to be more severe for them on the day of judgment, and I think a practical implication for each of us, we who know the word of God, who have heard it, and yet turn away from it, we discard it. Well, there's a severe judgment for us.

It's going to be worse than it would have been for those who didn't hear the word, and didn't experience, perhaps, the great works of the Lord, the presence of God's Spirit in ways that we had. And so this is a sobering truth, Jon, this is a sobering reality, and it should cause each of us to humble ourselves and say, Lord, help me to receive your word with meekness. Forgive me for those times I've closed my ears to the voice of your Spirit, to the conviction of your Holy Spirit. Don't let my heart grow hard.

Don't let me grow calloused to your word. Instead, allow me, strengthen me, enable me to respond to it as I should, and let your word bear fruit in my life. God help each of us with that. And with regard to the first question that you asked, Jon, about, well, what about all this evil that we're seeing in the world today?

Crime and injustice and sexual immorality. Well, of course, those things existed in the days of the apostles as well. I think it's easy for us to look around and say, man, we're living in the worst time in history.

And I think the more we know history, the more we realize, yeah, you know, it's been pretty bad at other points too, worse even. Which is not to minimize the evil that we see around us, but certainly Paul told Timothy in 1 Timothy 4 verse 1, the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and the teachings of demons through the insincerity of liars whose consciences have been seared. And, you know, he describes those latter days, you know, the end times as he's writing to Timothy as well. And he says, you know, people are going to be lovers of themselves.

It's not going to be all pretty. Understand this, this is 2 Timothy now chapter 3 verse 2, People will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unreasonable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people, Paul tells Timothy. And so there again is a warning for us, and again, you may say, Lord, help us, help us to receive your word as we should, and not to be swept away with the evil that is in the world, with the unbelief, with the immorality. Oh God, make us, make me into someone who loves you more than I love pleasure. Not to be a lover of pleasure rather than a lover of God, help us. So John, thank you for your question and for calling in, and Lord bless you.

Really well said. Thank you for that, Adriel. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez.

Love to hear from you if you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life. We'll be taking calls for the next 10 minutes or so. Here's our phone number. It's 833-THE-CORE.

That's 833-843-2673. I also want to mention a wonderful new resource that we have. This is something you can download from our website. It's on the names of God. Yeah, we love offering free resources here at Core Christianity, especially things that we believe will encourage you in your relationship with the Lord, give you insights into scripture, and so this one is called Five Names of God You Should Know. Diving into these five names or ways in which God reveals himself in scripture, get a hold of it over at corechristianity.com. Dive into names like Yahweh, Abba, Emmanuel, Jehovah-Jireh.

You'll learn more if you go to this particular resource. You can find it by going to corechristianity.com forward slash offers. Again, corechristianity.com forward slash offers, and look for Five Names of God That You Should Know. By the way, when you're at our website, check out some of our core Bible studies.

We have studies on books from both the New and the Old Testament, and if you lead a small group or a Sunday school class, we also have leader's guides for these Bible studies, so check that out at corechristianity.com. Well, we do receive emails here at Core Christianity. You can send us an email anytime with your question. Here's our email address.

It's questions at corechristianity.com. Here's one that came in from one of our listeners this week, and she says, My husband is very irate, and our home is a toxic environment, with his constant nagging, yelling, being angry, and demanding that things be done his way. My 22- and 19-year-old children don't respect him because of this, and he has gotten physical with one of them.

Now our 11-year-old daughter is developing anxiety. I'm sick of this. He insults me with vulgar words and calls us names when he loses his temper. I pray for him, but nothing is changing.

We've been married 24 years, but he's only getting worse. He says he's a Christian, but he's a hypocrite. Here's my question. Do we owe him blind respect just because he's the father like he says?

Well, sister, I'm so sorry to hear about this situation. And, of course, I mean, how do you respect someone who lives in such a way, who mistreats the people that he should love more than anyone else on the face of the planet? And so, you know, I don't know about a blind respect. I do think that we are called to be respectful in our behavior and pure in our conduct, even though clearly in this situation he's disobedient to the word. He's living as a hypocrite. He's not living as becomes the followers of Christ.

And, of course, here I'm referencing what Peter says in 1 Peter 3, and I'm about to read it. You did mention that he says he's a Christian. I do wonder if you guys are in a church together, if you are and he's putting on this show, this facade, that mask of hypocrisy, I do think it's important for you to confront that. And I think you can do that and still love him and be respectful and pure in all your conduct, but this is where the church also ought to step in and call this brother, this man, to account for his behavior. This is why the church has church discipline. And so I'm guessing that maybe you guys aren't going to church together.

Maybe he just says that he's a Christian, but I think even there, calling him to repentance and calling him to live as becomes the followers of Christ, pointing out, showing that his behavior is totally out of line. And may God give you grace and wisdom as you seek also to be a godly mother to your children and help them make sense of all of this, and may your example, may your godly example inspire them and encourage them. And so that text I was referring to in 1 Peter 3, Peter says, Likewise wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. When they see your respectful and pure conduct, do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry and the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which in God's sight is very precious. And so I think we're called to, you're called to respectful conduct. It doesn't mean that, you know, it's not like you're gaslighting yourself or saying, I respect this person when in reality it's so hard for you to respect him because he lives in such a way that's very opposite of the kind of man that you would respect, that I would respect, and yet you can still be respectful in your conduct.

And so I think that there are two different things there. And so it's that behavior together with prayers that God would intervene. But again, I don't think that that means that you can't confront this kind of behavior as well.

And if you're in a situation where he's threatening, or harming you or your children, I think you need to remove yourself from that situation, maybe separate. And again, this is where the Church is so important, the Church being there to encourage you to walk alongside of you in the midst of this. By the way, this scenario reminded me of that scene in 1 Samuel chapter 25 where David meets Abigail. And you remember Abigail's husband, Nabal.

He's described as a worthless fellow. And David sends a group of men to try to get some help from him, and he basically scorns them. And David gets really upset and he says, okay boys, saddle up, grab your swords, let's go deal with this guy. And Abigail, this wise and godly woman who's married to Nabal, again who's described as a worthless fellow, she intervenes.

When Abigail saw David, she hurried and got down from the donkey and fell before David on her face and bowed to the ground, and she fell at his feet and said, on me alone, my lord, be the guilt. Please let your servant speak in your ears and hear the words of your servant. Let not my lord regard this worthless fellow, Nabal, for as his name, so is he. Nabal is his name, and folly is with him. But I, your servant, did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent. Now then, my lord, as the lord lives and as your soul lives, because the lord has restrained you from blood guilt and from saving with your own hand.

Really interesting how she puts that there. Now then, let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be as Nabal. She's talking about her husband here. And now let this present that your servant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who follow my lord. Please forgive the trespass of your servant, for the lord will certainly make my lord a sure house because my lord is fighting the battles of the lord, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live. And what an interesting story, but here you see an example of this woman, this godly woman, Abigail, who had this dreadful family situation, environment. Her husband is a drunk, he's a scoffer, he's getting the family wrapped up in these problems, and she's trying to intervene, she's trying to be a godly influence, and to do the things that she knows God calls her to do. And I believe, sister, that's what you need to do as well.

Again, if you're in any danger, I would say, well, remove yourself from that situation. If it's a situation where your husband is, you know, he's not obedient to the word, he's acting foolish, you know, seeking by your respectful conduct, by your love, honorable behavior to win him and calling him to repentance. And I hope he does repent. Let's take a moment right now to pray for this family, for this sister in Christ, and that her husband would truly see the error of his ways and humble himself and receive the grace of the lord. Father, we come before you right now. Would you be with our sister and with her children, Lord?

Would you bring healing in this family where there's distrust, there's pain, there's hurt? It's volatile, Lord, we ask, Lord God, that you would intervene by the power of your Holy Spirit, that this man would not be like Nabal, but that, God, he would see his wife's godly conduct, her commitment to you, and that he would realize, I've been a fool in how I've been treating my family. May he come to repentance, Lord Jesus, would you humble him and help him, Lord, open his eyes to receive your grace, grant our sister wisdom, and through these circumstances, Lord, I pray that you would draw her, her children, and her husband closer to you. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. So well said, and we'll continue to pray for the sister in that whole situation. And by the way, that story you read didn't end well for Nabal.

No. God pretty much zapped him. So, yeah, we learn a lot from Scripture every day on this program, so thank you for that, sharing that story. What a great application. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. Let's go to Steve in Missouri. Steve, what's your question for Adriel?

Hello, I enjoy your show, so thank you for doing this. My question is about the power that we have through God or from God. I've got a friend that brings up that because we have God in us, we have God's power in us, and I get confused about, okay, how does that power show itself or how should it show itself? Am I not trusting enough in that I don't have some kind of power? And I read in Scripture, and it seems like it's God's power in people to heal, to do other miracles, the apostles, but I don't see too much of that around me today, and I get confused.

Okay, so it sounds to me like the real issue here is, am I missing something? What does it mean to have the power of God in my life? Because when I look at my life, I mean, I feel pretty weak at times. I'm not healing people, certainly.

I mean, maybe I need healing, personal healing, for one thing or another. And what I want to say to you, Steve, is if you believe in Jesus, if you trust in Him, you're sealed with the Holy Spirit, you're not missing something because you're not walking around on water and living the victorious, miraculous Christian life. Often the way in which the power of God manifests itself in our lives is not through our ability to perform miracles. Often the power of God is manifested in our weakness.

Do you hear that? God manifests His power in our weakness, and that's what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12. So you don't need to feel like, I'm missing something.

No, in our weakness, in our brokenness, God meets us by His Spirit and through the person of His Son, Jesus, so that we might be strengthened in faith and so that our sins might be forgiven. God bless. Copyright © 2017 Mooji Media Ltd. All Rights Reserved. No part of this recording may be reproduced