Is Remarrying After a Divorce Considered Adultery?

Is remarrying after a divorce considered adultery? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of CORE Christianity. Well, hi, this is Bill Meyer, along with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. Our phone lines are open, and you can call us for the next 25 minutes or so. Here's the phone number. 1-833-THE-CORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. By the way, we have a YouTube channel, and you can go on YouTube right now, watch Adriel live in the studio, and send him your question that way. And of course, you're always welcome to email us anytime at questionsatcorechristianity.com. First up today, here's a voicemail from one of our listeners. This is Stacey. I'd like to ask a question to how to pray for my daughter, who has now decided that she is gay and not sure about her faith anymore.

Thanks so much. Well, we can pray with you, and what I would say the prayer is, there's two things here. There's questioning her faith, where she stands, what she believes even. But there's also questions about her sexuality, or at least maybe there aren't anymore for her. She's come out and said, I'm gay.

And so, two things there. I think, as a mother, you want to pray that the Lord grabs a hold of her heart. The Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 6 says, so don't be deceived.

I mean, homosexuality is a sin. And so, prayerfully, I think, going to the Lord and saying, God, deliver my daughter and save her. We were praying for the grace of God to extend into her life. And we're surrounded, and I know Bill, you and I have spoken about this before. We're surrounded by so much deception. There's a strong delusion that the New Testament talks about that's out there.

And one of the ways it's permeated society is with the way so many think about sexuality and identity. And so, praying that the Lord would deliver her from that deception. That doesn't mean that she doesn't experience real disordered desires, and I think you can have conversations about that, but recognizing that those are things to be confessed, and that there's grace and mercy, and that Jesus calls her to himself, just as he calls each and every one of us to lay down our sins, to turn from our sins, and to turn to him.

It's no different for her in this situation. And so, praying that she would realize that and that the Spirit of God would be at work in her life, drawing her back and giving her that sense of clarity. And so, let's take a moment to pray in line with this as well, to pray for Stacey's daughter. We come before you right now, and Lord, we want to see your grace at work in this family, and we pray that you would draw this young woman to yourself. We pray, Lord God, that as she wrestles with questions and desires, feelings, God, that she would not reject your word, but that she would bring all of those desires, all of those feelings, all of those questions to you, and Lord, that she would submit to you. I pray that you would give this mother wisdom and grace, love, and boldness to speak the truth in love. And so, Lord, we know that it's the work of your Spirit. We pray that you would intervene in this situation, and we pray that there would be healing and restoration.

And true confession, in that confession, this woman would experience, Lord, that grace of forgiveness in the communion that comes through Jesus when we confess our sins. And it's in Christ's name we pray. Amen. Amen.

And Stacey, we will continue to pray for you in that whole situation. You know, Adriel, I'm struck every day by the number of churches' denominations that appear to be really compromising biblically on a variety of issues, but particularly when it comes to sexuality. Well, and I think in this case, someone that you love dearly is wrestling with this, and so I think it's affirming the fact that there is a battle. We can talk about the real battle that people experience, the disordered desires, the disordered sexual desires that people have, and we would attribute that to sin, to the fall. You know, there are a lot of people who say, well, I just have always felt this way. Does that mean that God made me this way or that I'm supposed to be gay or lesbian or whatnot? And what we would say is, you know, because of the fall into sin, that each and every one of us, you know, has inherited this sin nature, that we have these disordered desires from birth, even. And so in one sense, they can feel very natural to us, and I mean, there's a lot more there, but just being able to say, no, that's real.

Those feelings are real. The question is, should you just say, okay, I'm going to just give in and accept this, and I guess this is who I am, or do you take those feelings to God and to Christ and to say, Lord, I know that this is contrary to your word, and this is my struggle. Help me have mercy upon me. And when we confess our sins, and we all have sins, when we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. That doesn't mean that we won't struggle. But for too many churches, Bill, as you've said, the route has been, well, let's just affirm people in whatever it is that they're struggling with.

It's not a big deal. And especially with regard to sexuality and homosexuality, that's one area where there are churches that have really compromised, and that's not the right approach. So well said. Thanks for that, Adriel. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. Our phone lines are open if you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life, doctrine, theology, or maybe something going on in your personal life that you're struggling with. Here's the phone number. It's 833-THE-CORE. That's 1-833-843-2673. Let's go to Jared calling in from Texas.

Jared, what's your question for Adriel? So my question has to do with conscience. So to keep it relatively short, I've really got a number on my conscience, and now it misfires when maybe it shouldn't. When I first started reading the Bible, I basically took the Sermon on the Mount as a challenge, and that was what the Lord initially used to convict me of my sin and draw me to Himself. But I went very legalistic, and it progressively got worse and worse, and now I've gotten to a point where just an example of a personal struggle I was having was with feeling guilt over eating food and its relation to fasting and spirituality. And on the face of it, I'm able to take certain scriptures like, you know, nothings to be rejected if it's received with thanksgiving.

Even just the creation account, you know, God gave all of these things for food, you know, so there's a biblical precedent. But then I notice I also start to treasure other things above God, or I get greedy, unthankful, or I'm fearing and or loving creation over God. And lately my conscience has been just condemning me all the time and just wondering how can one move forward with that, seeing their sin, and also being able to follow the Lord, but not silence their conscience, but also, I mean, I don't know if I'm wording that right. Well, I think, right, because the danger, which you're aware of, very much aware of, and there's almost a hypersensitivity to it, is you don't want to harden your heart against the Lord. You don't want to sear your conscience because the Bible talks about that, and so that's a concern, and that's a good concern to have. There are people who do that, and what that looks like is when we're genuinely convicted over sin, and, you know, we're doing something that's contrary to the Word of God, the Spirit of God is convicting us. What we do in that situation is we silence the voice of God's Spirit, if you will, or we close our ears to the Word of God, and we keep going down that path that we know we shouldn't go down. And you do that repeatedly over and over again, and it becomes harder and harder to hear the voice of God.

Now, let me just share some good news. People do that and come to their senses and recognize what has happened and say, Lord, I have been sinning against you. I've been silencing the voice of your Spirit in my life. Have mercy upon me.

Forgive me. And so there's the hope of repentance. There's the grace of God that's still there, that river that doesn't run dry. And I think for many of us, there's that struggle of wondering, well, does it run dry for me? I just feel so bad.

I've done so many things terribly. But so long as we go to the Lord, I mean, we have that promise of the Word of God that if we confess our sins, He's faithful and just to forgive us. And I think also of what John says in 1 John 3, verse 20. You're talking about that constant sense of condemnation that you have. And John says, For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything. So even, right, the real issue is not does our heart condemn us? It's where do we stand before God? And it's God's judgment that is more important even than my own judgment of myself. Paul says, I don't judge myself in anything.

I'm not going to go there because I'm not even aware of it. God knows me better. And that's where you have to trust, Jared, in God's judgment of you through His Son, Jesus. And His judgment of you through Christ, and you've confessed your sins, is justified, one of my own. Now, with regard to, you know, those feelings of condemnation that you have, I think that's where you have to say, you have to try to take a step back and weigh, you know, okay, am I convicted because I'm doing something that's sinful?

Or is there that hypersensitivity there where I'm adding this extra burden on myself saying, Well, I can't really even enjoy food, even though I know that that's not true. I know that God's Word says nothing is to be forbidden so long as it's received by the Word of God or with the Word of God in prayer. We're giving thanks for all things. And so you begin to try to differentiate between what does the Word of God say and my feelings, which when we're talking about those disordered feelings that we can have sometimes, my feelings, which are disordered and sometimes, you know, add extra condemnation where there doesn't need to be condemnation. It's separating those two things and saying, Okay, I know I feel this way, but God, I'm going to trust in your Word and what you've said. And you've said that these are good gifts to be received with faith, and so I don't have to feel bad about this.

And in fact, as I enjoy these things, I can give you thanks for your goodness. It's recognizing, Jared, that God is not trying to withhold good from you. God is not cruel. I mean, think of what Jesus said. Jesus said, If you, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Heavenly Father give good gifts, the Holy Spirit, to those who ask Him? God is a good God, and He's merciful and gracious, and He's exhibited that goodness to you in sending Christ into the world to pay for your sins.

And if He's done that, man, everything, there's not any good gift that He will withhold from you. And so receive everything with joy and with thanksgiving. And when you feel those feelings of condemnation beginning to creep in over matters of things that are indifferent, you know, Well, is it okay for me to enjoy this food or whatnot?

That's where you have to say, No. Okay, this is what the Word of God says, and I'm going to bring my feelings, my conscience here in alignment with God's Word. Lord, help me to trust in that Word and in Your promise, not in my feelings, which oftentimes lead me astray. And so let's pray for Jared, and for all of us in that, we need God's help here. And so, Lord, we lift our dear brother Jared up to You, and we ask that You would help him, Lord, as he's wrestling through his feelings, and he's wanting to bring his feelings in alignment with what You've revealed in Your Word. Grant him faith, Lord God. Grant him confidence, and help him, Lord God, to trust in the promises that are found in Scripture, to go to Your revealed will. And, Lord, when he's convicted, truly convicted over sin, that You would grant him the grace to confess and to turn to You, but when he's feeling conviction over things that he doesn't need to feel condemned over or convicted about, Lord, would You grant him the grace to see that there, Lord, and to cling to the truth of Your Word? In Jesus' name, amen.

Amen. Jared, thanks so much for your call, and Adriel, thanks for that good word. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. We'd love to hear from you if you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life. You can leave us a voicemail 24 hours a day at 833-THE-CORE, or you can email us at questionsatcorechristianity.com. And, by the way, if you go to our website at corechristianity.com, you'll find lots of great resources, many of them free.

In fact, we want to tell you about one of those today. This is a perfect resource if you are a parent or a grandparent with kids, and you want to teach your kids Scripture and write Scripture on their hearts through a very creative way. Yeah, the resource is called Ten Songs to Sing as a Family. Head over to corechristianity.com forward slash radio. It's a free download, and it's really a devotional resource, something that you can use to learn a little bit more about the great hymns of the faith. But even beyond that, even beyond just learning about these songs, it's our hope that this would be something that you would incorporate maybe into your family time, family worship, to sing together the great truth of God's Word and to be nourished by those truths. Again, head over to corechristianity.com forward slash radio to get your free download of our offer, Ten Songs to Sing as a Family. Well, let's go to the phones. We have a voicemail that came in from one of our listeners.

This is Dan. I saw a billboard yesterday that said if you have divorced and remarried, you are committing adultery. What's your take on that?

Wow. Well, I don't know that that's the most helpful billboard in part because in one sense, right, I'm assuming, right, quoting from what Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapter 5. And so it could be the case that if you're divorced or if you illegitimately got a divorce and then you went with somebody else, yes, you're committing adultery. But there's more to the story than that. I mean, in the context of the Gospels, Jesus says that there are certain grounds for divorce, I think. One of them that he mentions is adultery, infidelity. And so there are things that really can dissolve a marriage so that an individual, you know, if that happens and they went and got married, again, that it wouldn't be adulterous. But what Jesus is highlighting in the Sermon on the Mount, let me just read this, is Matthew chapter 5 verse 31.

There's a lot of interesting takeaways here. He says, It was said that whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the ground of sexual immorality makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Now, what was happening at that time is just a really low view of the marriage covenant. There were people that were getting divorces for just about any reason.

It was a tragic thing. And there were actually a couple schools of thought in Jesus's day with regard to divorce and what allowed for, you know, what kind of permission you could get for divorce. There was a more conservative view. And then there was a more, we might say, liberal view, which was adopted by many. It was the majority position, which was essentially you could just divorce your wife for just about any reason. And there were priests and religious leaders that were doing this at that time. And so Jesus is challenging that idea, and he's saying, Look, if you go and get a certificate of divorce just because, essentially what you're doing is you're putting your wife out on the street. In that culture, that would have been a very bad thing. You're no longer providing for her, so inevitably she's going to go marry someone else. But Jesus is saying, you might have gotten the certificate of divorce, but your marriage wasn't legitimately dissolved.

I'm sure you got that piece of paper. But in God's eyes, that covenant still stands. I mean, what God has joined together, let no man separate. And so Jesus is highlighting the sinfulness of the people in that day who were just sort of, you know, willy-nilly, you know, breaking off their marriages. And as a result, he's really laying it on heavy to the men here in particular. He's saying, Look, you're causing your spouse to commit adultery. You're essentially, you know, pushing her out of the house for whatever reason, your excuse, your giving. And as a result, you know, when she goes and marries another man, someone to take care of her in that society, she's essentially committing adultery because you guys are still married. And so some of the big takeaways there is it's not just the little certificate, you know, the affirmation of the state, if you will, that makes a marriage.

It's more than that. It's rooted in God's Word and truth. And so that's what Jesus is highlighting. So are there instances where, you know, a person gets divorced illegitimately and then they just go on with somebody else and it is adultery? The answer is yes, and that's what Jesus is highlighting there. But is it the case that every single person who's divorced and remarries is committing adultery? No, because there are, again, legitimate grounds for divorce. And the one that Jesus mentions there is adultery.

I think another one is abandonment, you know, when somebody just abandons the marriage altogether. And Paul mentions this in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. And so, yeah, that's why I don't think that the billboard is very helpful because it doesn't provide any of those clarifications.

It just sort of makes that statement out of context, which can be confusing. I appreciate your question, and God bless. Got to be careful what we put on billboards, huh? Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's the most helpful thing that you said. I wonder, I mean, that sounds kind of like a personal thing, you know, like somebody was, that happened to someone and they just wanted to let everybody know, so I'm going to put that on a billboard, you know.

So, I mean, who knows? But, I mean, another point there is just the importance of understanding Scripture in context and using it in context as well, not just sort of throwing one-liners out there and saying things that are sort of true, but we're not really providing the background, and so it's not super helpful. Well said. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. Let's go to Dave calling in from New York. Dave, what's your question for Adriel?

Yes, thanks for taking my call. I know before the fall that man had total dominion over all the animals, and he never had to worry, you know, back then about going up to a lion and petting it because they weren't aggressive, and I know we really can't call animals evil because I don't think they have souls or spirits, but what do you make of this Leviathan, and not only Leviathan, this behemoth? Now, I've read about him, he's in the Bible quite a bit, he's in Isaiah 27, 1, and it seems like this Leviathan seems to be more of a hassle and a headache to the people back then than anything. However, however, Pastor, and I'll close it on this, I get totally confused when I go to Psalm 104 because it says in Psalm 104, verse 26, there the ships sail about, there is that Leviathan which you have made to play there. So it sounds to me like he's a playful creature, got to put him in the ocean to play there, whatever that means, and then when you go to verse 30 it says you send forth your spirit, they are created, but, I mean, animals don't have spirits, so can you shed some light on this Leviathan and everything I asked? Yeah.

Hey, Dave, thank you for that question. So we see this creature in a number of places, you mentioned Isaiah, you mentioned the Psalms, also in the book of Job, Leviathan and behemoth there. So, one, God did create everything, and he created everything for his glory. This creature in particular, you know, there's some people who have said, well, I think that's referring to some sort of ancient dinosaur, Leviathan or behemoth, so that's one take that people have, but often you had this language in the ancient world, sometimes it's referred to as mythopoetic language, of these great and terrible beasts, these monsters, these dragons, and this war essentially between the serpent, which of course we know is very biblical, going all the way back to the early chapters of Genesis, and then culminating in the book of Revelation, the great and terrible dragon that comes against the church and against God's people. So I see this more as this picture of, or this creaturely personification of evil and the forces of evil which God tames and conquers, and you have that kind of terminology, again, in the ancient world. So I think that's really what we're getting at, and especially when you look at the book of Revelation and you see that Leviathan-type language as it pertains to the serpent, the evil one, and the serpent being crushed, being conquered by the Lord, that's often the context in which you get the conversations about Leviathan in Scripture. Even that passage you brought up in Isaiah 27, verse 1, And that day with his hard and great and strong sword, the Lord with his hard and great and strong sword will punish Leviathan, the fleeing serpent, Leviathan, the twisting serpent, and he will slay the dragon that is in the sea. It's this picture of God in his sovereignty conquering the forces of evil that come against the people of God, the dark monsters, spiritual monsters that lurk in the shadows. And of course, how did God do that? Again, going way back to that promise in Genesis 3, verse 15, that the seed of the woman, Jesus Christ, was going to crush the head of the serpent. That Leviathan, that great and terrible beast, that sea monster, that sea snake, was going to be put to rest by the work of our Lord Jesus Christ, and indeed, he has been and we rejoice in that. God bless. .