Being Around People—While Still Being Sane!

You can't run away from people. You might feel hurt in life and you just say, those people, man, I'm just going to get away from people. And I suppose you could become a recluse and buy a house in the middle of nowhere and not deal with any people, live off Amazon Prime your whole life. But I got to guarantee at some point you're going to be staring another human in the eyes and have to have a conversation where you gel together.

So let me throw this out at you as we read through our verses and we consider these things together. Imagine this, what if you were to decide to become really good at interpersonal relationship? What if you thought I'm going to become an expert at getting along with people?

It is possible, you know. Your relationships with others have a profound impact on your life. So how can you build strong, healthy relationships? Today on Connect with Skip Heitzig, Skip gives you insight from Paul's life about how you can have truly great relationships. Right now, we want to tell you about a resource that will take you into Skip's catalog of works and grow your understanding of scripture even more. Skip often has the privilege of hosting guest speakers, guests like Franklin Graham and Lee Strobel, who've become great friends to Pastor Skip Heitzig in this Bible teaching ministry.

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Science points to the existence of God utterly dramatically in a way that it is as open and shut as any open and shut question ever could be, and we're talking about science. Get your copy of Skip and Friends when you give online securely at connectwithskip.com slash offer or call 800-922-1888. Now we're in Philippians chapter two as we join Skip Heitzen for today's teaching. I want to begin by asking you a question as you look up at the screen. Do you ever feel like this? I love mankind.

It's people I can't stand. So this comes from a Peanuts cartoon where Lucy says to Linus, you a doctor? Ha! That's a big laugh.

You could never be a doctor. You know why? Because you don't love mankind.

That's why. To which he replies, I love mankind. It's people I can't stand. So the reason I think that that was a successful cartoon and why people resonate with that is because we've had our own frustrations in life from time to time with people. We'll even say things like those people or you people. We understand that people can be hurtful. They can be prideful. They can be spiteful. We understand that people can be careless. They can be heartless. They can be thoughtless.

They can be tactless. And we discover that many of our problems in life come from our interaction with people. So that it's a threat to our joy. People can rob us of joy. And we have discovered that the book of Philippians is about joy. It's dubbed the Epistle of Joy. Paul uses a joyful tone throughout the entire book. Even though he's in jail, he says circumstances cannot rob me of joy.

Even though people talk smack about Paul and try to ruin his reputation, he has said they can't steal my joy. But he also knows that people can be the biggest challenge to our joy. Having said that, we must also quickly turn the page and realize that we're part of the problem because we're people too. So we might say those people, these people, you people, people rob my joy. We're a people. We're a person. And have you ever thought that you might be the person robbing somebody else of their joy?

So we all have to realize we are all fallen creatures and we are part of the greater problem. You may have heard of the psychiatrist who walked into his patient's room doing morning rounds. The psychiatrist found two of his patients in the room. Patient number one was sitting down on the ground pretending to saw a board in half and patient number two was hanging from the ceiling by his feet and he said to patient number one, what are you doing? Patient number one said, well, can't you tell?

I'm sawing this board in half. And then he said, well, what's he doing? Referring to patient number two. And patient number one said, oh, well, he's my friend. He's a little crazy.

He thinks he's a light bulb. And so the doctor looked at patient number two hanging upside down, noticed his face is getting redder and redder. And he said to patient number one, well, if he's your friend, you better tell him to get down soon because he's going to hurt himself. And patient number one looked up and said, what?

And work in the dark? So it's not like he had the problem. They both had some issues. So what's a person to do with problem people? In fact, what is a Christian to do? And the reason I ask that question is because sometimes we think, well, I thought Christians should be different than just people. Christian people are different than just people. Christian people should be much better at getting along with others than outsiders. And they should be, but often we are not.

And here's why. Because a Christian is somebody who is going through an internal struggle with the flesh. That's what a Christian is. He's going through, she's going through an internal struggle with the flesh. Remember, Paul said that the flesh wars against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh. And you remember that Paul said, I know that I should be doing things, but I'm not always doing them.

And there's other things I shouldn't do, but I find myself doing those things. So we're in this battle with the flesh and sometimes the flesh wins. And when the flesh wins, relationships get strained. Now, Philippi, the church at Philippi. It's a good church, a growing church, a loving church, a mature church. Paul had a very close intimate relationship with the Philippians, perhaps greater than any other church. However, there were tensions within this church, as we will see going through the letter. And it's not the first time that there are tensions among God's people.

You remember the 12 apostles? Did they always get along with each other? Did they not argue from time to time more than once as to who would be the greatest in the kingdom? Didn't they have a disagreement as when the Messiah sits in the kingdom in his glory, who's going to be at his right hand?

Who's going to be at his left hand? And then Paul and Peter, they had a disagreement about the law. And then the Council of Jerusalem didn't agree on the requirements for salvation. There was a disagreement between them. So pretty quickly, when we read the New Testament, we discover that the church is not a perfect people.

They are a redeemed people working through all of their imperfections that are a part of their fallen human nature. The Bible recognizes that this can sometimes be tough. In Romans 12, Paul writes, and I love how he writes it, if it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. I'm glad he said, if it's possible, because frankly, sometimes it's impossible. There are some people who just don't want to be gotten along with.

They make it impossible. But as much as is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. So sometimes we feel like Linus in that cartoon. And that's why I've given this message title, Being Around People While Still Being Still. While Still Being Sane. Being around people while still being sane.

Because you know what? You can't run away from people. You might feel hurt in life and you just say, those people, man, I'm just going to get away from people.

And I suppose you could become a recluse and buy a house in the middle of nowhere and not deal with any people, live off Amazon Prime your whole life. But I got to guarantee at some point, you're going to be staring another human in the eyes and have to have a conversation where you gel together. So let me throw this out at you as we read through our verses and we consider these things together. Imagine this, what if you were to decide to become really good at interpersonal relationship?

What if you thought I'm going to become an expert at getting along with people? It is possible, you know. Now, as we consider our text and we're going to look at Philippians 2, verses one through four, you may want to just glance at them. This paragraph versus one through four of Philippians 2 has several sentences in English.

But here's what's interesting. It's one single long, complex sentence in Greek. In fact, if you have a literature background, you will recognize this. It is written in a literary format called prothesis and apothesis, where you have a conditional clause followed by a main clause. And if, then relationship.

If this is true and if that is true and if the other is true, then this ought to be the result. That's how it's written. It's a very long, complex sentence that forms the basics of relationships and the basis for good relationships. So let's look at Philippians 2 and read verses one through four before we jump in. Therefore, verse one, if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself.

Let each of you look out, let each of you look out, not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Now what I'm going to do, and every text sort of demands its own approach, its own outline. I'm going to look at this by beginning with verse three and four, because that's the main clause.

And then I'm going to go back to verse one and two. So I want to begin with the basics. Here's the basics of getting along with people, the basics of great relationships. Think of it as the do's and don'ts. And we're going to begin with the don'ts and then go to the do's. And there are two don'ts and there are two do's, things you ought to do. We're going to begin with the negative. These are things not to do.

And you make an interesting discovery right off the bat. The two things he says we shouldn't do are the same two reasons why Satan got kicked out of heaven. The very reasons Satan didn't get along with God was because of selfish ambition and conceit. You remember perhaps in Isaiah 14, it tells us that the devil, Satan, Lucifer said, said, I will ascend into heaven. I will exalt my throne above the stars of God.

I will be like the Most High. That's selfish ambition and conceit. So think of it this way. You are never more like the devil than when you display the first two negative characteristics we cover. And you are never more like Jesus than when you display the second two positive characteristics. So the first two will ruin relationships. The second two will remedy relationships.

So let's look at what not to do. Number one, don't be selfish. Don't be selfish.

Verse three, let nothing be done through selfish ambition. Or you could just translate that selfishness. Now, I think everybody understands what selfishness is. And if you don't, it's because you're really selfish. But I think everybody here understands what if you have kids, you understand what selfishness is. Or if you have parents, you understand what selfishness is.

If you know any other human being, you understand what selfishness is. Interesting quip I found from Newsweek magazine. They said, and I quote, if Americans could have their wildest dreams come true, 38% would choose to win the lottery, and only 1% would pick world peace.

That's part of our nature. We want our lives comfortable and laden with good things. Oh yeah, world peace.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Selfishness. Don't be selfish.

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition. You know, a popular form of photography these days is the selfie. 24 billion selfies were taken and uploaded to Google last year.

24 billion of them. Did you know that in 2015, death by selfie was greater than death by shark attack worldwide? You know how we have shark week every year? They could have selfie week every year. It would be just as dramatic, if not more so. So the idea is that people are taking selfies and they're not always aware of their environment. They might get too close to the edge of something and fall down. Death by selfie, greater than death by selfie.

Greater than death by shark attack. You see, selfishness is at the very heart of our fallen human nature, and it's the root of every other sin. Satan placed his will above God's will.

That's where it all started. Selfishness. And then Adam placed his will above God's will. Selfishness.

Then Eve placed her will above God's will. Selfishness. And every time you and I place our will above God's will, guess what that is? It's selfishness. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition.

Selfishness is the me first philosophy. That seed is implanted in every single child who is ever born. And it grows with that child until one day that child becomes a full-fledged adult who, unless checked or redeemed, that adult will be very, very self-centered.

It's in every person. There was a mom, she was driving her five-year-old son to McDonald's, and there was a traffic accident as they were getting closer to McDonald's. And mom always taught the kids and the family, whenever we see an incident or an accident by the side of the road, let's just stop and pray for those people. In the very least, let's just pray that God would send somebody, protect them, et cetera. So she sees the accident and she says, we ought to pray.

So from the back seat, the little five-year-old boy could be heard praying, please God, don't let those cars block the entrance to the McDonald's. Amen. We understand that. That's human nature. And yet Paul says on the don't list, don't be selfish.

It's the second thing we shouldn't do if you want a great relationship. Don't be prideful. You'll notice the word conceit in verse three, let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit. Now, if you happen to have brought with you an old King James version, the original King James, probably few of you have it, if any, but if you have one, it's a different word. It's translated vain glory. And I remember I was weaned on that translation. And so I remember reading this text, let nothing be done through. And it said vain glory. And I remember going, what is that?

Well, they've updated it since then. And now it's translated here conceit. But I discovered that vain glory is actually a better and more accurate translation because the original Greek word kenadoxia comes from putting two Greek words together, kenos, which means empty and doxa, which is glory. So conceit means empty glory or vain glory. And it was a word that was used to describe a person who had exaggerated ideas of his or her own importance. They puffed themselves up.

I'm awesome. That's conceit. That's kenadoxia.

That's vain glory, empty glory, exaggerated ideas of one's own importance. If you've ever gone fishing in the ocean, you know what a blowfish is, a puffer fish. So in its unexcited state, it's just sort of a blobby little thing, very unattractive with a big mouth. But if you get close to this fish, if it gets threatened, it will puff itself up.

It fills itself up. And it becomes really this empty but round spiked creature. And the idea is size is important.

I am going to ward off any creature who wants to get me with my size and my spikes. Well, there are people who, like that puffer fish, blow themselves up with pride. They are conceited.

That is vain glory. This is why Paul writes in Romans 12, 3, that we should not think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think, but soberly. I said before that there's always two ways to enter a room. Way number one is to come in a room with the attitude that says, well, here I am, that swagger of self-importance. The other way to enter a room is with the attitude, ah, there you are. Question, how did Paul enter the room? The second way.

He introduces himself in chapter 1, verse 1, Paul, a bond slave of Jesus Christ. I'm a servant of Christ, thus your servant. So on the negative side, don't be selfish, don't be prideful.

Now let's flip the coin. On the positive side, the do's, the things we ought to do in a relationship is this. First of all, do be humble, for he says, let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit. Now he turns the coin to the positive side, but in lowliness of mind, stop right there, lowliness of mind, that's humility. One translation says, with low thoughts of yourself, with low thoughts of yourself. I don't like that translation because I don't think humility is having low thoughts of yourself. I think humility is having no thoughts of yourself. You see, humility isn't thinking badly about yourself or thinking poorly about yourself or thinking meanly about yourself. Humility is not thinking about yourself.

about yourself. You come humbly. So the secret to having joy in spite of people who are problems around us is humility. So he talks about unity, but he talks about humility. You know why? Because unity is always born out of humility.

That's the secret. Do be humble. You want to know something? Pride will make God your enemy.

I want you to think about that statement. The quickest way to get God against you is to puff yourself up with pride. You will have God set against you quicker than any other way. And if you want to get God on your side, quickest way to do that, humility. You say, preacher, can you prove that?

Yes, twice in the New Testament, once in the book of James, once in the book of Peter, they write this. God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. So if you want the resistance of God in your life, be prideful. If you want the favor of God in your life, grace of God in your life, be humble.

Lowliness of mind, lowliness of mind. That wraps up Skip Heisig's message from the series Technicolor Joy. Find the full message as well as books, booklets, and full teaching series at connectwithskip.com. Now, we want to let you know about a special opportunity you have to pursue biblical studies in a way that works with your schedule. Personal or small group Bible study is a great way to learn God's word. But what if you want to learn more?

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Thank you. Tune in tomorrow as Skip Heitzig shares why it's vital to treat others with the same love and compassion Christ showed you. Make a connection. Make a connection at the foot of the crossing. Cast all burdens on His word. Make a connection. A connection. Connect with Skip Heitzig is a presentation of Connection Communications, connecting you to God's never changing truth in ever changing times.