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Thursday, November 21st | Cultivating a Godly Family (ft. Nicole Shah)

Clearview Today / Abidan Shah
The Truth Network Radio
November 21, 2024 6:00 am

Thursday, November 21st | Cultivating a Godly Family (ft. Nicole Shah)

Clearview Today / Abidan Shah

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November 21, 2024 6:00 am

Raising children can be a challenging and unpredictable journey, but one family's story offers a powerful reminder of God's plan and blessings. Despite their own struggles and mistakes, Jacob's family is a testament to God's faithfulness and love, and a reminder that even in the midst of chaos, God is working everything out for our good.

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Where's my Mountain Dew? You're listening to Clear View Today with Dr. Abinon Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm Ryan Hill. I'm John Galantis. And you can find us online at ClearViewTodayShow.com. Or if you have any questions for Dr. Shah or suggestions for new topics, send us a text to 252-582-5028, or you can email us at contact at ClearViewTodayShow.com.

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We're going to leave a link in the description so you can do just that. Happy Thursday, my friend. Happy Thursday. Happy Thursday.

We are here in The Clear View Today studio. I got to tell you, I'm glad that I'm here because that means I'm not at home during the most chaotic period of my... It's going to be a nice moment between us, but no.

No. I mean, I'm glad to be here with you, but at the same time, I'm glad I'm not at home because my kids, I don't know what's going on, but they have transformed into gremlins. They have transformed into little monsters. No, what happened?

So they've just got this big... So Gavin was destructive as a kid, and then he sort of mellowed out. Now, Holden's really destructive as a kid, and Gavin's like, oh, I remember this. I remember... This was fun. This was fun. I could just break stuff. They've gotten really into putting toys into the toilet.

Oh, no. And then taking the toilet toys out and strew it, like slinging them all over the house. One of their favorite things is they love to take toothpaste and put it all over their hands and put handprints on the mirror. They love that. One of their favorite things is to get water in the bathtub and splash each other and soak the floor with it. And then they love to take entire toilet paper rolls and put it under the water in the bathtub. And then so it gets super, super soaked and soggy and ruined.

And then they love to strow it all over the bathroom. So two nights ago at play rehearsal, I think while people were coming on stage and interrupting you and asking you questions, I got a text from my wife. All caps...

I'm trying to find it. All caps, do not go to the gym. I'm livid with these boys. Oh, no. I said, what happened? Still all caps.

I'm so tired of my stuff and house getting destroyed and ruined. Again, I said, what happened? I said, we're doing notes now and then I'm coming home.

She starts sending me pictures. So there's my two sons, both in timeout. That's both boys in timeout.

Both boys in timeout at the same time. So there's the toilet paper roll. That's completely just soaked through. That's ruined.

That's not going anywhere. That's water drenched all over the sink. I think they've also got the hand soap and was squirting it into each other's faces and mouths. So that's like all of her makeup in the toilet. That's the child, the kid's body.

And I'll, I'll put these in the, in the stream as well. That's her attempting futilely to clean it up. So that's, yeah. Back to both boys and in timeout. Now here's Holden in timeout. Apparently she was talking to Gavin one-on-one and saying, Hey, you're the older brother.

You're supposed to set an example. While she did that, Holden was like, I guess I'm free to get out of timeout. He went, got out of timeout, went into the other bathroom and started doing the same thing.

Putting toys into the toilet. Oh, Holden. Such a little chaos gremlin.

Just sheer chaos. I'm getting what I deserve. Now I wasn't home.

So really Ellie's getting what I deserve. Oh my gosh. That's hilarious. It's not funny for you.

I know that's not funny. I've been there, but it's funny. It's funny on this side. It's sort of funny for me. Cause I'm here while it's happening, but it's definitely not funny for Ellie. She's she's livid.

She's fed up. We did not have any like play in the toilet kids. I mean, of our five, I don't recall. I might be wrong, but I don't recall any of them. Like, ha ha.

I'm going to play in the toilet. Right. Right.

We did have some that were more destructive than others. Okay. Our middle-est middle child. Yeah. That's Evie. Evie right in the dead center. We've got the twins Evie and the two younger ones. Right. Right.

Middle middle. We nicknamed her as a kid, hurricane Evie. I remember that because she would go through a room and just, I don't know how walking through a room, just leave a wake of destruction.

I mean, torn up, drawn on walls, ripped down, broken. I'm like, and she's not even wild. That's the thing.

It was like, she was just swinging from the walls, but she was just kind of like toddle through the room and then just leave destruction in her wake. I'm like, how, how does this crazy thing is you think when toddlers are destructive like that, they're wild and they're crazy. They're quiet and quiet is what you have to worry about. If they're wild, that you at least know where they are. If they're quiet, that's dangerous. I hear them horsing around and I hear them like play fighting and wrestling and boom, like the house is shaking. I don't even think about it.

But yeah, now when I don't hear anything for a while, I'm like, where are my kids? Right. I know I'm about to walk into a, who is drawing on who with a permanent marker? Why is there peanut butter on the ceiling? Right. Exactly.

I know for a fact that I'm about to walk into like ground zero of a nuclear disaster. I don't know what to do. Like it's at the point now where she can't correct one kid without the other kid being like, I guess I'm free to get up and put more toys in the toilet. This is a short sided bandaid for the problem. Have you thought about a toilet lock? What is that? I mean, it's like a clip that goes on the toilet, like childproofing the toilet.

I've never even heard of such a thing. It clips the lid closed. You can't, the kids can't open it. But I mean, the danger of that is like, I really have to go to the bathroom.

Now I have to fiddle with this plastic lock to try to get the lid open. I'll certainly, I'll certainly attempt it. Yeah.

I'll go for it. Maybe a shot. It would at least alleviate the play in the toilet. Yeah.

I think we did have one of those for the kids and it, maybe it stopped them or maybe they weren't ever interested. I don't know. You know, I know one of Dr. Shah's kids, maybe we can talk about it on the show, but I know one of Dr. Shah's kids practically lived in the toilet. One of them was. One of them was. The tidy bowl queen I think is what her name was. Maybe we'll get a special guest, Nicole, to elucidate us a little bit.

Yeah. Write in and let us know if you have had a tidy bowl kid, write in and let us know. No shame, no judgment. We've all been there.

2-5-2-5-8-2-5-0-2-8. Or you can visit us online at clearviewtodayshow.com. We'll be right back. Hey, hey you. Me?

No, not you. You listening to the Clearview Today Show. You're here right now because you love Christian talk radio and I'm a hundred percent down for that. But what if I told you that Clearview Church also produces original music?

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Amen. Let's hop back into the show. Welcome back to Clearview Today with Dr. Abbadan Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

You can visit us online at Clearviewtodayshow.com or if you have any questions or suggestions for new topics, send us a text to 252-582-5028. That's right. We're here once again in the Clearview Today studio with Dr. Abbadan Shah, who's a PhD in New Testament textual criticism, professor at Carolina University, author, full time pastor, and the host of today's video. I almost slipped because I was trying to say alongside perma gas. Drum roll, please.

I forget sometimes that Dr. Shah also has a soundboard now. Nicole, we can, we can give you some more. You can have the, let's see. You like Mario, right?

David, give him Mario right now, dude. Sorry. How's it going? Good. It's going really good to see you.

Very good to see you. So you guys are parents of four, four children. We talked about this on the intro a little bit, but my two have really devolved into what I can only describe as animal chaos.

My oldest, my four year old knows better, but now that my one year old is like actually walking and tiling around and he's getting into destructive like chaos. Gavin is seeing it and goes, oh wait, I remember this. This is fun. And now he's devolving. So now I showed, I showed Dr. Shah this. But he blames Holden for that. Yes, of course. So he's like, you're the oldest, you're the example.

And he wants to play like, like he's really, he's like, oh, got it. Got it. No, you knew that. That wasn't news to you. He's like, he's like, son, Holden is looking to you as an example. He's like, oh, that's why I shouldn't have put the toothpaste on the mirror. Got it, dad.

I got you. My question is, how many of your kids have ever, because now it's no, it's no strange sight to walk in and see two boys in timeout at one time. Before this point, I really had never seen that. How many kids do you think is the max that have ever been in trouble together? I don't remember two of them ever getting in trouble to get, I mean, now I will have now wait a minute. He said all four, not all four, but maybe.

Yes, we have. Abigail and Nick would get in trouble sometimes. And Abigail would get in trouble. Would they get in trouble like doing something like together, together, or would they be fighting, fighting, fighting?

Yes. Oh, fighting 100%. See, it's funny because I sent Dr. Shah a picture of Holden and Tom, Holden and Thomas, Holden and Gavin in timeout together. And he said, man, that takes me back to Nicholas and Thomas. Now, Nicholas and Thomas, they would, they could argue, but I could also see the Holden and the Gavin thing with the getting in the stuff. I mean, I don't remember crazy stuff.

Our kids ever doing things to get in trouble. That never really happened. Then they never really did that. They would just fight with each other. But like you wouldn't come home and like there's toothpaste all over the walls. There's like crayon all over the ground in the carpet. The one person by herself would. Abigail was alone.

The worst. I mean, I have, I remember cleaning like magic marker off the wall. So it happened, but it wasn't a thing like, Hey guys, let's all do this. I imagine like a little Abigail doing that. And then four of the kids be looking at just like, what is she doing? Well, when Abigail was doing that, it was just her and Rebecca because Nicholas was not there yet. By the time Nick came along, she was out of action. The biggest problem with them was fighting with each other.

Yeah. That was a, that was a, that was the thing. Or the girls upset with the boys because I'm listening.

So girls against the boys, most favorite memory of that. Now I don't even think Thomas, if Thomas was even here, he was a baby. But Nicholas, he didn't really start talking until he was like two and a half to three.

Cause he would just say words. And then it was like, he discovered I can say sentences. So he went from just saying single words to saying full sentences, Thomas, Nick, Nicholas. And so there was one day the girls were doing something and he went, he came and told on them. So I had all three of them in the kitchen and they, it was like stair steps and I was talking to the girls and I was saying, why, you know, why were you doing this? Or whatever they were doing, I don't know. And they both looked at Nicholas at the same time and they're, I mean, it's stair steps like, and they both looked at me and go, why did you ever learn how to talk? Wait, he told on them?

Yeah. He told on them. I didn't think, I didn't think, Nicholas, I didn't think you would be the tattletale man. Were you the tattletale?

Not always. That's probably the only time. Did you have a tattletale? Rebecca would tell on herself. Yeah, Rebecca would tell on herself, I do remember that. She would have a tattletale on her own self?

She'd be like, I hit Abigail. Like, why? Why did you do that?

I don't know. I was like, no, that's sweet. Like, no, you shouldn't hit him. Do you have a resident tattletale in your house?

I do have a tattletale, not one that tattles on themselves. How did it go with you guys where like there's a ring leader getting the other siblings into trouble? Cause I thought it would be Gavin being like, Hey, I'm the older brother. Let me show you the ropes on how to get, how to do this and get in trouble. But really it's the exact opposite. Holden's like, I'm just going and Gavin's like, that actually does look kind of fun.

I'm going to join in. Was it like that with y'all or did the older ones sort of mislead the other ones? Or did they all just have their own things? I think they had their own thing. I think the, the, the dynamics are different between your two boys and our four. Yeah. Our boys never really like did that. Let's get in trouble.

It did not happen. It was usually just fighting with each other. So, but, but in your case, it's kind of funny that Gavin, I think has your personality. Yeah, I think so too. It's like, he is like, huh, that's an easy route. I'll go along with this. This seems, this seems good.

I can, I can do this and it'll be fun. And what are they going to say? What are they going to say? Like, I don't see any immediate downsides.

So I guess there isn't one. But because, because he, this little chubby fella is leading the job. They may give me a lecture on that, you know, like how I need to be the leader. And other than that, I mean, it's all cool.

I think it's, I mean, I think I can weather this. Oh, but I can, I can, I was the oldest of four and I remember that, that lecture. Really? You're the oldest. You should know better. And I'm like, how does that, I mean, why should I know better? Why? You should take care. You should lead. You should. Absolutely.

My sister's four years younger than me. And I got that talking to many times. And it would, it would really make me a little angry because I'm just like, why? Why should I be the one? Yeah.

My, my, our, in our kids, among our kids, it was more like you are older. You don't need to get angry with them. They don't know any better. Talk to them, get on, you know, get on to them if you need to, but let us know. But you cannot, you know, just, just talk ugly to them. Right.

Right. That's, that's pretty much how it went. One of the, one of the favorite stories that you guys told me was you would hear the two boys bickering in the back seat and you'd see them hiding stuff in their pockets. You'd be like, hey, what is that? It'd be like a little toy. It's like, are you a problem with that? Leaving the house, we'd be like, hey, so we're going to go, you're going to go with me guys.

So, cause I got to go here, go there. And they would quickly run in and just kind of like stuff their pockets of the pockets. Like, Hey, what's that? I'm like expecting to find something like real, like a stolen money or something. It'd be a little, like a little tiny plastic animal, like a little bird and king toy or something.

Yeah. Well, they weren't allowed to bring toys like that to church because they would, you know, they would get lost or they would, you know, be distracted. And lo and behold, every time they, and I would be, I'd look over and I'd be like, I can't be without a toy. Just in case, just in case. That's true. We can just pull it out and have our thing.

That's funny. Our verse of the day today is coming to us from Proverbs chapter 11 verse 21. Though they join forces, the wicked will not go unpunished, but the pro the posterity of the righteous will be delivered. I think that's a, that's a great point.

You know, we're talking about kids and we're talking about, you know, raising up this next generation and I love, read it one more time. Though they join forces, the wicked will not go unpunished, but the posterity of the righteous will be delivered. I think I gave you the wrong verse. No, but I think it works great. Is it? Yeah.

Because that's exactly what we're talking about. Wicked will join forces thinking they're gonna, you know, do something life-changing or for the worst, but the posterity of the righteous, what does it say again? The posterity of the righteous will be delivered.

Well, yeah. What is posterity? It means the children after them. Children and grandchildren. Very cool. That is a great verse.

I love that. So no matter what your kids do, and maybe somebody listening today, maybe somebody is watching right now and your kids are not where they need to be, whether they are teenagers, little kids, or maybe adults and you're frustrated or you're wondering, you know, what's, what's going on. Just know that if you let them in the way of the Lord, that in God's timing, it'll be okay. What does it say again? The last line? But the posterity of the righteous will be delivered. Yeah.

It means no matter who has infiltrated their minds, their hearts or whatever, in time, God will deliver them. Great point. I think that's something I see with you guys a lot. And I think with, with a lot of people is they don't want their children to go down that path. And a lot of times I think people are so afraid. Maybe, maybe you can kind of speak to this. People are so afraid of making the wrong decision.

They don't make decisions and they sort of take a back seat in their parenting. Whereas with you guys, I've seen a very intentional, Hey guys, listen, I've been down this road. I don't want you to go down this road. I'm closing that road off.

You know what I mean? Whereas a lot of times other parents will be like, well, they got to learn from themselves. You know, they gotta, they just got to make those hard decisions. I really respect you being like, if I'm able to close that road for my kids, I'm going to, because I don't want, I don't, it's not going to do them good.

Right. Well, the key is I feel like with, um, letting them suffer their own consequences is to give them small decisions when they're, when they're young and let them, you know, say, okay, you have the choice, you have this choice to do this or to do this, or you can have this or can have this, you know, whatever. And the consequences of that decision, you know, it's like, okay, you know, you decided to do this. So now that you decide, you know, this is what you wanted.

So now this is the, this is the consequence of this. And it's not a hurtful one, but it teaches them, Oh, my decision, my decisions, you know, I have to think about that. So if you can start when they're small, you know, like little things, um, it might help as they get older to realize, wait a minute, you know, I might need to be a little bit more careful. Bottom line is do things God's way. Uh, people have lots and lots and lots of ideas and lessons and principles, and they'll, they'll come up with a lot of things, how they grew up or how they saw someone else grow up or some book they read or somebody they encountered who talked to them about parenting or, uh, or a podcast or, or a song or a movie.

I mean, these are places where people get their information on parenting. Absolutely zero guarantee that what you are talking about is actually going to work. Very true. Very true.

And the risk is so enormous because this is your children, you know. The only thing that you can 100%, a thousand percent, if I can even say that, count on is doing things the scripture way, doing things God's way. Fantastic point. When you do it that way, then even if, um, at the moment it's not working out in the end, in the long run, the posterity of the wicked will be delivered. Yeah. Means you will win. It will work out.

That's how you operate. So think with me for a moment, Jacob's family. Jacob is sitting in the promised land, in the promised land. Of course he's sitting in Canaan, right? This is the land that God had promised to his ancestor, his granddaddy, Abraham. They're supposed to be the light unto the world. Travel in time with me and let's go by their tent because they lived in tents at that time.

They didn't build homes because they were sort of, uh, not that they were nomadic people, but they were living that nomadic life so they could be a blessing to others. Right? Travel with me in time. Joseph has already been sold off into slavery. He is in Egypt somewhere. Haven't heard from him.

Not sure what's happening. Things are forgotten. At a typical dinner hour, how do you think things are around that dining table or that fire? Probably tents.

Yeah, I was going to say probably tents, very uncomfortable. Do you think it's just a one and done deal? Is it day after day, month after month, year after year? Oh, I'm sure that drags on. Yeah. How do you think the brothers talk to each other?

Probably very partially. Because they have secrets. And these are not good secrets. They're bad secrets.

These are secrets like, no, I told you not to do that and you didn't listen to me. And he's like, well, if you would just shut up your mouth and just know it's okay. It's fine.

It's fine. He's probably working somewhere in slavery. He's probably, no, you don't even know if he's alive. I mean, so this is kind of a conversation that is happening. And they're not like children of one mom.

What do we know about them? Yeah. I mean, there were four different mothers. Four different mothers, two sisters and then concubines.

I mean, there's already this weird hierarchy happening there. Now, how do you think Jacob is handling all of this as a father? Yeah, probably grief stricken.

I think part of him might suspect, you know, he's got to live with that suspicion and whether or not to voice it. Well, across the little field up in the hillside, on the other side is another tent. It's of the Canaanites. And man, I mean, Midianites, whoever, they also have a campfire. All the kids are there.

And none of this has happened. What kind of conversation is happening there? Probably more carefree. We're at family time.

Yeah. Everybody's doing happy. Everybody's great. Everybody's wonderful, cracking jokes, remembering the old, the past.

Man, life is great. And then let's say one day they decided to have a get together. Like, oh, you know, let's come together.

All the people in the valleys are going to come together. And so there is this Canaanite family's children and grandchildren. And then there's Jacob with his sons. How do you think Jacob feels right now when he sees that? Oh, yeah, probably terrible.

Yeah, probably, probably horrible. I've been faithful to you and I'm suffering with this. Why are they being blessed? Right. When we are the ones who did things the right way.

What's going on here? And some things he didn't do the wrong way. He was dealt in a wrongful manner by his own father-in-law. Right.

Gave him the wrong woman. Right. And he didn't ask for that. He didn't cause that. I mean, none of that was his fault. Right.

And then he does seven years and finally gets that. And then, of course, there's bickering and fussing and fighting and all this weird stuff happens. So I can imagine Jacob at that point doubting and feeling like everybody's talking about how great their family is, how wonderful things are.

And Jacob's going, our family is a wreck. And probably that weird thing that you do, especially when you're a parent where you're like, everybody knows, everybody knows what I'm going through. They can all know. And maybe they do. Maybe they do know.

Maybe the word is already out that these brothers sold their own brother into slavery and the daddy doesn't even know. Oh, man. Wow.

The dad is clueless. Gosh. But the murderers are sitting right there and they have his own house. Gosh. Man, wouldn't you say that the family of the Canaanites looked at Jacob and his family as what a disaster. Yeah, probably.

Probably. This is what a family that follows God looks like. That's a great point.

And we don't think about that. We think about this idealized painted picture of a family that follows God with the nice white picket house and the blue blazers and the khakis and the nice Sunday lunch. And that's what you see. And I think that's what you end up striving for. And so when you don't get it, you start to feel like a failure. Yeah.

You know, sometimes you do. But there's one thing though I feel like God is teaching me is to be thankful and to say, you know, thank you for what you are going to do. Yeah. Amen.

Thank you. That's a great point. Because you're saying, okay, I have faith that this will happen or I have faith that that will happen or, you know, whatever you're wanting. You know, because the Bible does say that if you delight in God, that he will give you the desires of your heart. And there was also if you put the kingdom of God first, then all these things will be added to you.

So there's so many verses that talk about putting God first and then God will give you the things that your heart desires. That's right. So the choice is if you were back then, which family would you choose the Canaanite or Jacob's family? Great. I guarantee it. None of us would say I want Jacob's family because you'd be like, no, that family is a disaster. Right.

I want this one here. Right. What you don't realize is the whole time God is nowhere near the Canaanites. He is with, that's right. He's with Jacob. Jacob. That's right.

Today. That's the family that is blessing the whole world and still has plans till the end of time. Amen. If it doesn't help anyone else, it definitely helps me. I think it's going to help a lot of people because I know those conversations are coming where I'm going to have to look at my boys in the face and be like, why would you make such a foolish decision? Why would you do something that's going to impact your life? Not just this afternoon and our plans for the day.

Why would you do something that's going to impact your life in this way? And I'll look back on these days and remember, I really wish my biggest problems right now was a little bit of toothpaste on the mirror. I really wish that I just my biggest problems with these two knuckleheaded boys was just stepping on some Legos.

I would trade anything just to have those problems back. That reminder that God, that God is with you and God is moving. And I love what you said, Nicole. God, I thank you for what you're going to do. That's right. I thank you for the ways that you are already working this together for our good and for your glory.

Yeah. Amen. So good. If you guys enjoyed today's episode, write in and let us know two five two five eight two five zero two eight or you can visit us online at clearviewtodayshow.com. Don't forget, you can partner with us financially on that same website. Scroll to the bottom, click that donate button and let us know it's coming from our clear read today show family. John, anything you want to plug as the show ends? Absolutely.

As always, want to plug Dr. Shaw and Nicole's book, 30 days of praying for America. I say that every week, but now we actually have the second author on the on the show. We see that right there. What's that name right there? What's this? Right there. That's Nicole.

Don't tell me, tell them. Nicole Shaw. That's Nicole Shaw.

30 days of praying for America, daily devotions to heal our nations. You can get it right now on Amazon.com. You can also pick up our debut album, Heaven Here and Now. Also, Nicole's did a couple of songs on there as well.

You can pick that up on Spotify, iTunes, Rhapsody, Amazon Music, anywhere digital music sold. So make sure you pick up your copy today. Lots of great content coming your way the rest of this week. Make sure you guys tune in. We love you guys.

We'll see you tomorrow on Clear View Today. Okay. I was about to say, nobody did the word. Go back to the, do the, hold on. Yes.

And make sure you pick up your copy today. I feel like we're missing something. Yeah. Shame on me. I did not get the secret word for the day. My word was pterodital. Pterodital. Pterodital.

I would have, I didn't even have a buzz. Pterodital means pretentious nonsense. A bunch of what comes out of Ryan's mouth is just pterodital. That's an example.

It's just an example. I feel like we've never had this happen, but I think the rule is, or the unspoken rule is if you don't get the secret word, if you don't even attempt it, then you just get shamed. Shame on me.

Shame music for you. Pterodital. That was the secret word. I didn't get it. We'll try to do better tomorrow. We love you guys. We'll see you tomorrow on Cleary Today.

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