God's Will for Your Relationship (ft. Nicole Shah)

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Where's my Mountain Dew? Welcome to Clearview Today with Dr. Abhinav Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm Ryan Hill. And I'm John Galantis. And you can find us online at ClearviewTodayShow.com. Or if you have a question for Dr. Shah, anything you'd like to write in, just suggest that we talk about, you can send us a text at 252-582-5028, or you can email us at contact at ClearviewTodayShow.com.

Right you are, Ryan. And guys, you can help us keep the conversation going by supporting the show. You can share it online with your friends and family. Leave us a good review on iTunes or Spotify, anywhere you get your podcasting content from.

We're going to leave a couple of links right here in the description of the show, so you can do just that. And I do feel like this being a Christian show, I do feel the need to kind of come clean. That was a bit of pure theater. Ryan Hill has left the building. He's left the town. He's left the city. He's still in the same state. He's still in North Carolina, but he's not here today. And I felt like maybe impersonating him might would bring him back to me in kind of a cool way, but it didn't work out that way. Ryan's not here.

I'm doing the intro solo dolo. But hey, that's OK. I don't have any bitterness in my heart, no vitriol, nothing like that.

I do wish that he were here and hadn't left me all on my own in the stony lonesome of the Clearview Today studio. But that is what it is. The verse of the day is coming to us from the book of 2 Corinthians 7, verse 1. It says, Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. And Paul is referencing these promises that are possessed by people who are in Christ. He's referenced several Old Testament scriptures that connect God's promises to the Israelites, to the Jewish people. And it's all about their obedience.

It's separating themselves from the ungodly nations, from unclean things. And so some of God's promises to Israel, it depends on the Israelites' willingness. In fact, a lot of God's promises depend on the Israelites' willingness to obey him in that way.

And so there's nothing new under the sun. It's not like now all of a sudden we're under this new covenant and suddenly we don't have to obey God anymore because there's grace. Paul is saying, listen, you have to separate yourselves from that. Let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit and perfect holiness in the fear of God. It isn't that we're frightened of what God's going to do to us if we don't obey. It's this reverence of who he is.

He is so holy and he is so perfect that my compulsion really is to obey him. That is our verse of the day. We hope that these verses are helpful for you guys.

They're really helpful for us. A lot of you guys may notice that the dates that we give you, like 2 Corinthians 7-1, it actually matches up to the date that we're doing. And that's because of today's sponsor. It's the Date the Word app. A lot of these verses that we read to you guys, they're specially picked by the people over at Date the Word to match up what's going on on today's date.

There's a lot of things that are happening day to day. The Date the Word app is really specially designed to connect today's date to God's word with the hope of making it more memorable for you. They have lots of devotions on that app. They do lots of birthday verses. You can send someone their birthday verse.

Just a lot of ways to communicate, and more importantly than anything else, get people into the Word of God. We actually had someone write in, I save a lot of these, but we actually had someone write in for our Million Dollar Monday! Here comes the money!

Yeah! So, Million Dollar Monday, this is coming from Dallas P. from South Carolina. It's kind of crazy, someone from Dallas. I would have just lied and said I was from Texas. Million dollars, but every time you see a purple car, you have to get out of the car and do a Chinese fire drill.

I'm not going to lie to you, Dallas, I'll do it. I'm taking the money. Here's the thing. I have heard similar ones about every time you see an X-colored car, whatever, not a red car, blue car, but an out-there color, like a purple car, an orange car, even a lime green car.

Here's the thing. You think you never see them until you start looking for them, and you're going to find those cars. I've seen purple cars around our town. I've seen them around the Raleigh, Wake Forest area.

They're not as rare as you would think. That being said, I'm still doing this, 100%. If you don't know what a Chinese fire drill is, it's basically where you stop the car, get out, run around the car in the middle of traffic, and then get back in the car as if nothing were to happen. Sometimes you can change seats.

Yeah, 100%. I don't see any downside to doing that. If I was on a bridge, that would be kind of scary. Every time you see a car, you have to get out of the car and do a Chinese fire drill. I'm going to assume that I'm allowed to pull over.

I don't have to stop in the middle of the interstate. I tell you what, we're going to bring Dr. Shah and his wife Nicole in here in just a couple of seconds. I'm going to ask them about it. Dr. Shah's got a big truck, too. I don't know if he's jumping down out of a big Nissan truck right on the middle of the freeway to run around and do a Chinese fire drill.

But, hey, for $1 million, there's not a lot I wouldn't do. Certainly, we're going to ask Dr. Shah and Nicole the same thing. Thank you for writing into the show. You guys can text that number if you have any million dollar Mondays you want to hit us with, or just suggestions for things that you want to hear us talk about here on The Clearview Today Show.

Or, you can visit us online at ClearviewTodayShow.com. We'll be right back after this. Hey! Hey, you! Me?

No, not you. You, listening to The Clearview Today Show. You're here right now because you love Christian talk radio, and I'm 100% down for that. But what if I told you that Clearview Church also produces original music?

That's right. At Clearview, we're more than just a church. We're a vibrant family where everyone is encouraged to worship God right where they are. We wanted to make sure that your worship doesn't stop when you walk out the door on Sunday morning. Our music is more accessible than ever.

You can worship God in any situation. In the car, at home, in the gym, while cleaning your house. Wherever you are, we'll be right there with you. You can check us out on Apple Music or on Spotify.

Anywhere digital music is consumed. We've got a few singles out right now. We have an EP out as well. And right now, at this moment actually, we are working on our first ever full-length original album.

Hopefully, that's going to be out sometime this coming summer. Clearview Worship on iTunes and Spotify is your 24-7 place for inspiration and worship. Follow us today and let God's message of hope, love, and faith be a guiding light in your life.

Amen. Let's hop back into the show. Welcome back to Clearview today with Dr. Abidan Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. You can find us online at Clearviewtodayshow.com, or if you have a question, anything you want to ask Dr. Shah about, any topics that you'd like to hear us talk about on the show, write in, send us a text, 252-582-5028, or you can also email us at contact at Clearviewtodayshow.com.

We are here once again in the Clearview Today studio with Dr. Abidan Shah, who is a PhD in New Testament textual criticism, professor at Carolina University, author, full-time pastor, and the host of today's show, along with perma-guest Nicole Schott. Every time. I don't know why I thought it. I'm just going to let it be a bit.

Here, we're going to put it right. Air horns for Nicole. It's good to see you, Nicole. Good to see you, Dr. Shah. We are, we're running it solo this week.

Yes. A lot of our people. John is in charge. Well, John is really the mind behind the show and Ryan is the excellent host, but our staff, I would say half the staff is gone. They're gone on a mission trip and they're gone with Ryan and Elizabeth, who are our student leaders as well. And they're helping them as chaperones, as Bible study leaders. David is leading the worship as always and helping the songwriting.

They come back with a song and they do a phenomenal job every time. And Nick is gone. Nick, who is our, I guess, what, sound manager?

Sound engineer, video switcher, video engineer. And he's gone there too because he is leading their recreation. So he's doing that. He's game time director. Nobody who can play games like Nick. Nick has really, Nick has really revolutionized game time.

I will say Nick is a, that was a hidden talent of his that I didn't know he had until I actually saw him in action. He learned that being at Camp Living Water in Bryson City. I saw him in action last year, I believe it was. Yeah.

Last year. Right. I was there and I was like, wow, he's really doing good with this. Yeah. So he's doing that. Adam Painter, who's also gone. He's, he and his wife are helping out as well. So, and Melissa Jones. Yeah.

Melissa's there. Yeah. Big staff is gone.

Yeah. Big staff, big. We got Katie.

We held on to Katie and we held on to Nicole. So that was good. That's why, that's why if you notice this episode is not going to sound any different, but it will look a little bit different. We got the super source going. Don't at me. That's what it's going to be.

If y'all, if y'all don't like it, just look, y'all just got to wait a week. It is what it is. We got super source. That's what it is. That's what we look like. I like the super source because we look like little newscasters just kind of talking boxes, talking to each other. Like we said, don't at me.

But Dr. Shaw, Nicole, I did want to ask this because somebody wrote in for Million Dollar Monday today and they said that anytime you get a million dollars right off the bat, that's good money, easy money. But anytime you see a purple car out in the wild, out in the wilderness, you got to stop your car and do a Chinese fire drill wherever you're at. Every time we see a purple car, like somebody's purple car and we do this.

Yeah. You like driving on the highway, you're like driving on the interstate, a purple car passes you. You got to stop, get out, Chinese fire drill. Now we can get off on the south road, correct? You got to do it immediately. But yeah, yeah, you can't do it. You can't be like, I'll do it at the next couple of exits. Like you got to pull over. You got to stop in the interstate.

You can pull over on the shoulder. You don't even get to spend the million dollars. Hold on. Let me see who wrote in. They didn't specify. It was Dallas P. Price Dallas Howard. I don't know. But it was Dallas P from North Carolina.

But he or she, I guess, did not specify. So I'm assuming you can. Dr. Shaw, would you do it? Of course. Oh yeah. Chinese fire drill?

For a million dollars, of course. Here's the thing. You don't realize how many purple cars are out there. You would think, oh, it's not that common. But once you start thinking about it, you start seeing them.

Because someone posed a similar question to me. It was like every time you see an orange car, you have to blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, I never see orange cars. You start seeing them.

I don't know what it is. Whatever you're looking for, you start seeing them. Well, it's like you buy a new car and you think, well, nobody, not many people have this car. I've got kind of not really one of a kind, but.

And then all of a sudden you're driving around and you're like, wait a minute, there's a lot of people that drive in my car. Does vehicle color matter to you guys at all? Yeah. Yeah. Really?

Yeah. So like when you went to get your truck and they showed you trucks, were you like, I like it, but I want it in silver or I want it in black? Well, I'm friends with some of the car dealership owners and they're really, really friendly and good and they help so many people. So when I went to them, I said, look, I need this. I need a nice Nissan truck.

And so Alan's like, sure. Can I interest you in a Ford? I was like, I know Ford's great. I would like a Nissan. And then somebody else said, you know, try the Chevy. Chevy's good.

It's like, I feel like something's getting lost in translation. I hear you. I'm going to try it for the third time. I would love a Nissan. And then I said, okay, so we have a silver one.

It's one of our program cars, trucks and it's fantastic. I wasn't expecting a silver one because it's hard to find. I was like, I'll take it. I'll take it.

I'll take it. Same with you? Well, it's, mine's a little bit different. You have to think about the fact that my very first car was a 1973 Beetle Volkswagen with a crank sunroof and it was race car orange. Nicole? Yeah. How old were you?

I was 16. Ellie had a red Firebird with teatops. So I mean, as far as obstinate, what is it?

Obstinate cars or whatever. So I, I mean, so not that I didn't like my car, but if I could have chosen a different color, I definitely would have. Oh, you didn't choose the orange. No, it was just the way it came. Did it at least look good? What was it called? Tell me what it was called again.

It was a 1973 Beetle Volkswagen in race car orange. That's funny. I'm looking for it. Yeah.

I'm looking for it too. I have a car. I have a picture of it somewhere. My goodness, Nicole, tell me that was not your car. It was, yeah, it was. Was it as orange? It was brighter than that. It was a brighter orange. That's more yellow. That's yellow. But it was that type. Golly.

Yes. And you drove it around on purpose? Who got it for you?

That was the only car I had. Who got it for you? My dad. Well, let me show respect. I'll show respect. Wow.

19. I'm going to drop that in the show notes. 1973. In the show notes, yeah.

1973 Volkswagen Beetle. I'll have to find the picture. I'm actually sitting in front of my car and I'll have to send it to you.

Yeah, send it to me before the episode airs and we'll drop it in there. Well, you know, we're talking about marriage. We're talking about relations.

Let's see if I can do this as good as Ryan does. You know, we're talking about God's will for your life. A lot of people struggle to discern God's will for your life because we don't really know what it is.

You know, we don't know how to find it, how to look for it. And we've talked about it as far as just these three different wills or these three different views on God's will. We talked about it as far as life decisions, career, but we wanted to talk about it as far as marriages go.

Yeah. But just a quick recap on those three wills is coming from a book that was edited back, I think it's 2008. It's called How Then Should We Choose Three Views on God's Will. And decision making. And they identified three wills or three views.

The first one is a specific will view. And again, using the GPS analogy, it's like the turn by turn view. Like God gives you turn by turn directions on what career, what school, what spouse or marriage partner, what house, where do you move?

I mean, it's turn by turn God gives you directions. Then there is the wisdom view. Again, using the GPS analogy, we call this the best option view, right?

It means there is no perfect will of God for you, but God gives you wisdom in his word. Just use that wisdom and figure out the best one for you. That's the wisdom view. And then of course, the last one is the relationship view. Using the GPS analogy, we call this the local guide is with you. Yeah. Now let me ask you this, because this is, we're talking about marriage, right?

Talking about relationships. Nicole, are you a good local guide? Do you do, do you good on directions?

I think I am, but women, I'm just speaking generically. We don't do like a lot of street names. We do landmarks.

So I will tell you, go until you see, you know, a landmark or whatever and turn right. Because women look for stuff like that. Generally speaking, there are women who are, you know, just kind of like men, they have street names and all that. But then there are men who, like me, I can also go by site.

I can do that. Or there are women who are like, they're like, they're in the passenger seat and they're looking at the GPS and they're like, you're going to turn now. No, I just missed it. I'm more like in half a mile, you're going to be turning right. Half a mile. So you would pass the relationship view test as far as these wills are concerned, I guess. So which one is the right one? And our answer, if you remember in the past couple of shows is there is no right or wrong one.

It's just depends on several things. Number one, your personality sometimes is you need the turn by turn. Sometimes there are people who are more, I don't think I need the turn by turn.

Just show me the best option, God. And as they study the word of God, they see this is the best will that God has for me. Based on my gifts and talents, I'm supposed to be this, not that. So that's how the wisdom view. And then there are times that God just says, put all that away and just look to me. And as you grow in me, you're going to have what you're looking for.

And I think all three are valid. It's encouraging because there's lots of people who look at life differently and life kind of happens differently. And knowing that it's like, well, golly, that really doesn't fit me. I guess I have to change rather than look at each situation and wisely think like, which one is God talking to me in this situation?

Which one is which? Yeah. So when it comes to relationship, life would be so much easier if we would just know who is that person, right?

That would be great. I mean, I remember our dating years and, you know, you're out there looking for that person. You're praying for that person. Sometimes you're like sick of that and say, I don't want to even worry about it. I'm just going to focus on my career or my health or just just be with a bunch of friends and have a good time or go on a mission trip.

I'm just not going to worry about this. And then if that's what God has called you to a single life, then, of course, don't worry about it. But then if it's not, then you come right back to the same place and go, I wish I had somebody. Well, one of the first things that I think of, um, because Avidan always talks about this, that he fell in love with my family before he fell in love with me. It's that how, what is their, what is their family like? Um, does that, and that means like, uh, do you have this, do, does their family have the same values that maybe your family has?

Um, and it doesn't have to be exactly, but is it really close? Yeah. That's a huge thing. That's true. That's true. Of course we talked about salvation, but also family values. Those are, those are the top things that I tell people.

If those things line up, there's a very good chance other things will work out. And I know it's kind of a, it's kind of an age old joke, but I think there's some truth to it too. You can really see it even in the reaction. Cause like I remember when I was immature when Ellie was like, you know, Hey, I want you to meet my mom and dad or I want you to meet my dad. When I was, when Ellie and I were dating, I was still like immature. I was like 1920 and she was like, you know, I want you to meet my dad.

That's really important. And I was like, well, this was fun. Go on ahead and call it. Look, it was nice.

And now I'll see you soon. But I remember being like, Oh gosh, I don't, I don't want to ask him about that story. You can tell if you want. No, I mean it was, I was scared to meet her dad. Not that I was doing anything wrong, but I was like, he won't like me or he'll be judgmental or whatever.

But in the end it turned out he was very kind and gentle and Christ-like and it was, it was a life, life changing moment. I would say, let's, there are people out there listening and I know there are people who are maybe young adult who's listening to the show and thinking, yeah, I'm the one, what do I need to do? Or there may be parents out there who are listening to the show or grandparents who are concerned about some young person in their life. Or when I say young, I'm not saying they have to be like 21. Young could be 37.

Young could be 42, 44. I mean, it just depends on your perspective. I would back up a little bit and spend the rest of the time just discussing or talking about, um, you know, what is it that makes relationships special? Okay. Um, how should we choose a relationship that would be according to God's will? To start out, understand why you're choosing a relationship. You're choosing a relationship, not just to hang out or go date or have someone to go places with. You're choosing it ultimately for marriage. Right. That's true. Cause if it's not, and if you're just hanging out, you're wasting someone's time.

You're wasting your own time. Our world has lost sight of that. And it was, it was very common at one point for it to be like, well, that's not the Christian view, but now even Christians are falling into that view where it's like, yeah, we'll get it.

We'll get there. Let's just, let's just have fun. Why ruin this? But do understand that the end goal is marriage. So Genesis 1 27 says, so God created man in his own image in the image of God. He created him male and female.

He created them. Right. It's, it's about reflecting God's image, right? Because even let's take the relationship part out of it.

You should be doing that anyway. You should be moving towards that end goal of reflecting God's image. So when we talk about how this male and female reflecting God's image, don't misunderstand. It does not mean that God is a little bit of a man and a little bit of a woman, right?

That's not true, right? God is spirit, but he has chosen to relate with us in the masculine. Okay. And, and you heard me talk about this and you heard us talk about it because the man is supposed to lead in a relationship. He's supposed to be the initiator in the relationship. So God has chosen to relate with us in the masculine. So how do male and female reflect God's image?

Think about it for a moment. God created the man and the woman to be same in essence, but distinct in persons. It's crazy because in any other time period, this would be completely normal and understood, but in 2024, not the case. Because we were dealing with the whole idea of, well, there's been so much litigation and everything over same sex marriages. And it's one of those things that it's okay now. It is, it's supposed to be normal that a woman can marry a woman, a man can marry a man, but that, how does that, how can that reflect God's image? Right.

It cannot. It's, it's, it's an affront. And when we talk about God's image, who is God? God is Trinity, father, son, spirit, three who have the same essence and yet they are different persons. Marriage, it's not three.

Well, in a sense it is three. You have God in the marriage as well, but really we're talking about male and female, same essence, different persons. Right.

But the reason, and correct me if I'm, if I'm saying this wrong or wording it incorrectly, but the reason that homosexuality is such an affront to God is because there doesn't, there's not three fathers, there's not three sons, there's not three Holy spirits. They're different. And so when he created Eve, he did it to create something different. That's right. It's a beautiful, he is the, he is the main image. We are the copy. So if we're going to distort the copy, what we're saying is that the image is wrong and the image can never be wrong.

That's right. Secondly, marriage is God's gift for companionship. So if you're heading into a dating relationship or if you're looking for someone to date, think about it.

Also, not only is God's image reflected, but are you looking for a companion? What I've told my kids too is like, you know, what you know of that person as you begin to date and you're, usually you start dating because you like, you like to be around the person. I mean, there's, I don't believe in love at first sight. I believe that you gradually fall in love.

How do you explain a West Side story? It's not love at first sight. Maria! But, um, so as you get to know this person, I remember my dad asking me after our first or second date, he was like, well, what, what you know of him, can you see yourself married to this man?

Well, that wasn't even on my radar. But if you're looking for a spouse and you go out with a person, even if you've only gone out with him for one time and you've spent a couple of hours, you know, what you know of that person, do you think, or can you see yourself married to that person? That should be, that should be in the back of your mind as you get to know this person. The more I get to know this person... Can they make a good companion? Yeah.

Can I see myself married to this person? One of the ways that Ellie has helped me, and I think working at Clearview has helped me too, is that it's helped me realize that people and companionship is good for me because I'm not that well, like naturally I want to be by myself. I want to isolate. That's what makes me happy, but it's not good for me. You know what I mean?

It is a big difference. That's what satisfies me on the exterior, but to isolate, to be by yourself and to be apart from everybody else is not good for me. And I like what God says here, where he's like, this is good. It is not good for man to be alone. Of course.

Of course. Also, it is not good for a woman to be alone as well. Then also marriage fulfills a great mystery. And Paul expounds on this in Ephesians chapter 5, 23. He says, for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, just as a church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.

Verse 31, for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. So marriage fulfills a great mystery. And the mystery is the relationship between Christ and the church. So I'm assuming that most of our listeners are coming from a Christian background, whether you are that person looking for a relationship or you're a parent who is guiding and just you're kind of frustrated, not knowing how you can encourage your young person if they are disappointed or they are, you know, feeling anxiety over time running out or you're the grandparent and you're trying to be the matchmaker for your granddaughter or grandson or some nephew or niece, you're trying to help them find somebody.

Just understand what we're doing over here. We're helping you see marriage reflects God's image. Marriage is God's gift of companionship, as Nicole just mentioned. This is when you date.

This is a good time to figure out, is this the person that I can see myself with? But then for a Christian, it goes much further. And the further is it reflects a mystery.

And the mystery is the relationship with Christ, between Christ and the church. That's a great point. That's where dating relationships should be headed. That's what they should see on the horizon. Now, I'll be honest, when Nicole and I started dating, I didn't see all those things up front.

I doubt you saw. No, not at all. Like, I'm looking for how does this reflect God's image? Okay.

I think, I think it's like, I really like her, but how does this contribute to the mystery of Christ? Like, no, not at all. Yeah. Let's be realistic. We're not, but I'm hoping this conversation is helping somebody who may be struggling, who may be struggling with broken relationships or their heart's been broken, or they just can't seem to find that person or where they are located in the church context or work context.

It's like, there's nobody, there's nobody. I'm hoping today's little discussion is helping them kind of see that there are some open doors and a change of perspective. Absolutely. Yeah. And we'll be talking about this tomorrow too, because God is not the only one with a design for marriage.

The enemy has a design for your marriage as well. So we're going to talk about that tomorrow. Nicole, thank you for being with us.

We'll see you tomorrow on tomorrow's episode. If you guys liked this episode, you want to hear more, or if you want to contribute some topics for us to talk about, make sure you send us a text to five two five eight two five zero two eight. You can always visit us online at clearviewtodayshow.com and you can always donate financially to that. You can support us in that way. We really appreciate you guys giving and supporting the show. We wouldn't be able to do it without your generosity and without God working and moving through you. So thank you for supporting us in that way. We'll see you tomorrow on Clearview Today.