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The Man You Were Made To Be | Anthony Delaney

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman
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September 17, 2022 1:00 am

The Man You Were Made To Be | Anthony Delaney

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman

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September 17, 2022 1:00 am

On this edition of Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, former cop-turned-minister, Anthony Delaney says there are two kinds of men. One is like coal, which is dirty and fragile. The other is a diamond. How do you become the man you were made to be? Don’t miss today's Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman.

Featured resource: The Man You Were Made To Be by Anthony Delaney

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So however we get lost. However, society might take us further and further involved in the father's home and helps he's waiting to bring closer only he can put together and feel this is welcome relationship with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the New York Times, "The 5 Love Languages" side.

He says demands tell us what your made up God says I know what I wore to hear more about that today. Dr. Chapman welcomes author and pastor Anthony Delaney, the program talking about the best marriage. What a couples.

But today, this former police officer will talk to men about becoming the man you were made to be the title of our featured resource today subtitled nothing to prove nothing to hide, everything to live. Find out more at Moody books.arch Gary with all the upheaval in the culture about toxic masculinity. Looking forward to what Anthony has said well so Chris, I remember our last conversation we talked about his medical marriage. So I think there's going be very helpful to her listeners and excited about our time together. Let me reintroduce Anthony Delaney. He served as a police officer in inner-city Manchester, England for 10 years before going into church leadership.

He now leads IV church, a church planting movement he founded launch church multiplication catalyst global community drawing together hundreds of church and network leaders to be inspired and commissioned the multiply disciples, leaders, churches and movements. He's an author. He speaks and teaches throughout Europe and Africa. He's married to Zoe. They have three adult children and six grandchildren. Featured resource is the book the man you were made to be you could find out more at welcome back to Building Relationships hey Dr. Gary thank you for the invitation is great to connect with you and Chris again, thank you. Now you are a police officer in Manchester, United Kingdom, and now you write in broadcast and lead churches in that city. How did you go from police officer to pastor well long story I'll try and cut it short.

I was really brought with her Christian faith. Specifically, just it's a general feeling like he was a Christian country. I have nine counts of Jesus Christ with dollars 21 years of age, but insisting the girl that I have now married. She was a Christian and she gave me a Bible on to start to read.some sunlight, so it seemed like Jesus walked off the pages of Scripture presented himself as the Savior of the world and is my personal Savior and laughed and said, Lord, L. I'll do whatever you want, I'll go wherever you want dangerous kind of crap to pray because a few years later still remember going into the bedroom of our new home and just really becoming consciousness sense of the presence of God filling the room and I just knelt by the side of the bed and prayed and felt like God was speaking to me in and grab the side of the bed. There's a book by Billy Graham not been reading called approaching beats and completely out of context is terrible way to get guidance by just knew I could not buckle back open the book and on page they just open to me and said he was to devote himself to the study of God's word, then God would show him what he wants to consider. That was it.

That was just about speaking to me and saying I don't want you to carry on study and to be a police inspector all superintendent on any of that. I will need to devote yourself like you would study the law to study the gospel on and so I said I would do that three or four years I left the police and went to Bible school and ministry full-time ministry. "But we're certainly glad that God directed you. Because the world many people in the world are being touched your ministry so God's plans are always better than our plans and so we're delighted that you are where you are now seems to me that men are living in a difficult time. It's a hard time to be man today. Would you agree with that. Yeah, I think in some ways we end up feeling a little bit apologetic, the time it's not you been this particular picture of the man seems to change all of the time and symptoms of what a good man looks like or what being a good man actually is is there's all kinds of stereotypes and none of them seem to fit so we might try and fit ourselves into their stereotypes, but I'm not sure anybody ever manages to do that and that you just can feel like you're always letting yourself down you don't have a kind of internal compressive. Where is that you're supposed to be heading in life as a man I don't think coaches get to give you anything like a clue as to what I could look like that isn't just can it be shifting sand down. That's one of the reasons why I think we need to come salute the one who made us, as Jesus said start to build our lives on something more substantial and the foundation of his word. We come to him as the one who made us, and without knowing whose we all we never going to know who we are an estimated major focus of this book for man to help them to be able to to look at who God made them on to become the man that God made you speak which is not like anybody else. Each one of us is unique announcing that is particular, no stereotype is good for everybody in the UK. Think also in the US there's a lot of skepticism about God and what relevance faith plays in a man's life.

Talk about that. Yeah what I mean here in the UK. A recent survey suggested that 54% of men consider themselves atheist or agnostic about the existence of God. Nearly 50% of men under 30 left the church in the last 25 years that was even before COBIT I think that many men written off should should but I'm not so sure that they necessarily written off Jesus Christ and I think that as we we present him as the one perfect man man who is God and I meet you guys are still interested in Jesus Christ and as we instantly introduce them to him. I think that was dying to see that all people now know everybody's been through seismic changes in these recent years and people what we thought was we could rely upon them for the future would look like just Changing and I Think Is Also Not People Are Reevaluating Life, the Universe and the Meaning of Everything and It's a Great Opportunity for Us to Be Able to Come with Some Truths of Scripture and to Be Able to Help People to Know That Male or Female. We Can Live Life in All Its Fullness. Only through Connecting with Jesus Christ. Let's Face It, It's Hard to Deny the Life of Jesus Christ and Even Those Whom I Say Will Believe in God and Jesus Came As a Man so It Can Be Ignored Right. We Begin to Explore That and Study That God You He Came to Reveal God and He Does When We Began to Study Right Absolutely Any Called Man. Specifically, First and Foremost, Just to Be with Him.

On the Other Women That He Also Relied upon in a Ministry to and with Jesus Came He Chose Some Humanity Said Come and Follow Me and We Could Become Fishers of Men Together. I May Help You to Be What You Could Not Be without Relationship to Make As They Spent Time in His Presence, They Would Change More and More to Be like Him, Which Is What Discipleship Is All about. For Anybody, This Is Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, New York Times Best-Selling Author of "The 5 Love Languages" . If You'd like to Take a Free Assessment of Your Love Language Website. Five Love There You Will Find More Ways to Strengthen Relationships Again Got a Five Love Anthony Delaney Is with This Author of the Book the Man You Were Made to Be Nothing to Prove Nothing to Hide, Everything to Live for You. Find out More about It at Moody's.O RG. The Book a Central Metaphor You Use Is the Diamond and How We Can Either Be Crushed or Formed by Life's Pressures Talk about That You Pick up the Pieces Whole See It's Made of Carbon, You Put It under Heat and Pressure. He Looks Pretty Chocolate Sumita Crumble, Not Just Beep and Salt Where Diamonds Fall by Heat and Pressure Deep Underground, and As a Result, Was Not They Shine and so My Question Man Is All We Can Just Be Good and so Can We Do Just so Quickly We Can Lose Everything You Hear Stories of so Many Men in the Name Get Posted an Area of Their Life by Maybes, Finances, Proxies Family, but These Different Pressures. If I Was to Push You in Those Areas. Would You Shine All Would You Just Crumble and Unfold and so We Look at Each One of These Sets of a Man's Life and We Say That I See. How Can We Have the Internal Strength. I Believe That Only Comes to Having God in the Sense Involved in Trying to Chip Away and Make Ourselves Look Presentable on the outside of the Internal Changes That Switchable Changes in All of Those Different Areas All Facts That Supply so That Week.

We Don't Crumble.

We Actually Shine What You Think of the Biggest Problems and Challenges That Men Are Facing Today. How How Do We Best Face Those Spent Lots I'm Thinking about This in Terms of the Different Facets of the Business Details of the of Them in the Book by Think This Right Now in in and Out Of Church. There's Two Kinds of People Who Just Feeling Pretty Lost in Both of These Tie Well with That Famous Stories of Jesus and Jesus Told in Luke Chapter 15 There Was One Guy He Went off and Got Lost in the World on before Long He Ends up Coming up Empty. And That's What Happens We Go Away from the Father and We Try and Live Lives of Our of Our Own and All about Olson and He Basically Says to His Father Wish You Were Dead. He Disappears He Squanders Everything He Loses Everything in the End, These Living with Pigs and Then He Decides Him to Come Back to the Father and He Takes Not to Walk Home When He Gets That the Father Is Waiting Not to Judge Him Not to Tell Them All Sports to Embrace Him to Caress Him Even on Then He Says in a Quake Solid Brightness of the Policy Is the Son Of Man Was Lost but Now He's Found He Was Dead and Now Is Alive and the Father Gives What Men Need When They Are Lost in the World. Maybe the Summer Listening Right Now and You Realize You Just Feeling Lost in the Things of the World, Not Satisfying, but You Come to the Father and He Tells You Again That Your He Saw and He Embraces You Father God Does. This Is Why Jesus Told the Story He Wants to Give You up.Prodigal Son Got You Receive the Ring Road and Sandals in the Ring for Me Denotes Authority on the Road Is All about Identity, Said That He Was Part of the Family and the Sandals with Destiny That from Now on. He's Got Places to Go and Things to Do for Again and with the Father Our Father in Heaven Is One Who Welcomes Those Who Wander like and No Matter How We Blown out Where We Belong.

He Welcomes Us Was Also Some People Are Lost in the House When I Was a Police Officer. If You Want to Go to Report Missing from Home Person. There Was a Space on the Forms That I Research the House, Nothing. This People in Churches Still Feel Pretty Lost and That I the Eldest Son, and They Don't Relate to the Father. I Will Be Anonymously Now and You Know for You like the Oldest, so He Got Angry Because for Him. He Said All These Years of Enslaving for You and You Never Even Gave Me a Young Goat, Celebrate, and I Think This Is a Man Who Can End up Feeling Bits and Twisted in Church Circles and They End up Needing to Know What the Fathers Got for That Something Different Because He Sets the Father Said to Him, My Son, Which Is Identity. You Are Always with Me, Which Is Belonging and Everything I Have Is Yours Which Is Permission. So However We Get Lost in. However, Society Might Help Might Take Us Further and Further Away from the Father's Love and the Father's Home in House.

He's Waiting to Bring Us Closer and Only He Can Put Back Together Again and Builders into the Man He Knows We May Today You Said Earlier, There Are Six Facets of a Man and All of Them Begin with the Letter. So Let's Go through the Six.

The First Is Fitness.

Why Is Being Healthy. One of the Keys to Being the Man You Were Made to Be Well for Me. Something of Note Is That Why Don't You Just Go Straight into the Spiritual Book, the Fact Is, God Made Us Physical Beings and Then Breathed Life into a Severely.That's How He Created and so We Don't Want to Be Balding Worshipers. As a Result Survival at the Sense That We Don't Want to Be People Who Are Neglectful of Our Bodies and I Think There's a Way That We Want to Honor God with Our Body and in Doing so We Made the Way He's Made Us in the Systems of Our Body Is and I Know That When When I Got Coated. My Body Was Minimal Was Not Reacting Well to That I Felt Low Emotionally and Spiritually.

It Was Hard for Me to Relate Well to the People around Me. It Just Brought Me down and so Whatever We Can Do at Different Stages in Our Lives to Be Able to Look after the Body That God Gave Us Affect All of Those Different Aspects. So for Me Right Now and This Morning I Spent Some Time Just Went out for a Very Long Walk with the Dog out in the Abusive Creation and Reconnected and at the Same Time.the Steps in to Be Able to to Feel Fits Fitness Means Ready Basically Means I'm Ready for Life and for the Opportunities and Challenges Cannot Meet the Challenges of Life That God Gives Me Because I'm Trying My Best to Look after My Body Will Be Jumping Here at the Infirmary Guy Who's Listening. Tell Me Your Regiment. Do You Have Something That You Do That You Reveal in the Book of Your Things That You Do Other Than Walking with the Dog in the in Nature. I Joined the Gym and I Regularly Go to the Gym and I Will Different Times in Different Seasons and on the Same Fitness Regime As I Did When I Was 20 and on My 50s and I Will Go to the Gym and I'll Do Some Body Weight Exercises.

Mostly I Recently Discovered This Damn Us That Which Is like Torture.

But in a Good Kind of Way That Enables Me Now to Be Able to Get out Mountains of Recently in the Last Couple of Years Taken up Climbing out Mountains in Great Britain. I Just Recently Went to Various Mountains in Scotland and That Is against Awful to Struggle When You Get of the Topless Views That You Would Not Believe. And As a Result I've Lost Way I'm Feeling for Soon Stronger and Push Myself a Little Bit but in Doing so Enables Me to Be Able to Handle the Pressures of Life and so Yeah I Will Have To Pack My Bag in the Morning to Enable Me to Be Able to Be Ready to Go. I Get Things Ready. I Put the Things in My Diary. This Is Why I'm Going to Do at This Time I'm Going to Get to Go to the Gym, so I Have Everything Ready to Be Able to Do That.

I If I Have To Book a Class.

I'll Make Sure I Do That I Make Commitments to Myself Sometimes I'll Go with the Training Partner so That I Got Somebody Else along with Me to Spare Me on and Help Me to Be a Will to Do It and That in All These Ways, Whether This Is Going for a Reasonably Gentle Wrong Are for a Long Walk All to Use the Weights in the Gym This Evening in the Gym I Go to Some Is like a Boxing Circuit Training Thing That Sometimes Go into the and in All Those Rights Are Left to Do Something Just for That. See the Faulty Minutes That Raise My Heart Rate Talk and Get My Muscles Strong Again and in Doing so I Just Keeps Me, It's A Lot Easier to Stay Fit to Get for Once You Get to That Point of View and Went to the Point Get the Endorphins You Get the Rush That You Only Get I Think from Looking after Your Body and Exercising Well for You. So You're in Your 50s and You're Still at It. That Sounds Good to Me. Why Is It That Some Man Actually Move Away from Fitness As They Get Older. I Think Again Maybe This Is to Do Something in Society Where We Track These Kind of Idolized Bodies of You Know Guys and That's When Caesar Got the Completely Flattened Sixpack and All and Are Slightly Distended and I Don't Think Men Are Immune System That Kind of Pressure in the Same Way As Is Women Have These Unrealistic Expectations Imposed upon Them by Magazines and Mediator and All of Those Kind of Things and so I Know I'm Not Aiming for the I'm Aiming to Be the Best I Can Be and to Do the Best I Can with What God Has Given Me. I Think Everybody Can Do Some Years Ago I Remember the Place Where You Lived. There Was A Lot Of Guys Treating Veterans Who Been in the Army and Had Various Disabilities. They Been Blown out There Been Shots up on the I See Them in the Local Pool and Oh. In Some, These Guys Didn't Have Legs and They Would Be Going up and down the Pool and I Just Realized I Got No Excuse.

I'm Good. I Gotta Do Something and so Yeah, I Think We Can Do. The Second Facet to Deal with His Finances. You're Hitting on Some Really Hard Issues Here, so Let's Just Jump into That Section.

What What It Why Is This so Important. Again, Nothing like This Is All about.

She Was Shaking His Recognizing Everything That Is Been Given to Me by God and One Day I'm Going to Be Accountable for Its Formats As Well. Right Now, Do My Best to Honor Him with What He's Given Me, Whether They Know and Also to Recognize from My Perspective in Some of the Six Some Very Poor Nations around the World to Recognize That You Will Chimes the Fact That I'm Talking to You Know on the Computer and Was Able to Do This Means That She Already Won the Lottery Will Change That and Went with Them in One of the Richest Nations in the World and I Think Will Be Able to Be Somebody Who Takes What God Has Given Me and Simply Contends to Be Grateful and Strong Not Crumbs Generosity and Less Worry about Money and He Doesn't Actually Take As Much As We Might Think to Be Able to Be Happy. It's a Choice That We Make an Exegesis That Is More Blessed to Give Than to Receive. So I Talk in the Book about Ways That We Can Achieve Financial Balance and to Have Some Aims from Money That Go beyond Just That Mina Financial Names That One Day I'll Have Enough to Retire. You All Know or Have a Certain Amount of Money in the Bank but Instead Know What to Make.

The Aim on the Called with What He's Given Me by Doing What He Says and Does Me Know. People Talk about Prosperity. Prosperity for Me Means That I Can Do What God Wants Me to Do with What He's Given Me to Do It and I Find That the World of the Generous Gets Larger and Larger. I'm Been Very Impacted by Ministries Even from Your Side of the Pond. Dave Ramsey Etc. Helping Me to Be Able to Avoid Debt to Be Able to Back Away from Those Kind of Things and to Pay Those Things off and to Save Some Money and Ties and Then Go over and above That to Be Able to Be Generous on on an Occasion Is Guided by the Lord Jesus Said It's Way Better to Give Than to Receive, and Disprove God in My Life over and over Again That I Love to Be Able to Be a Given, but the Only Way We Can Do That We Can Get Wrong to Say We Get Control of Our Finances. Now If We Let the Lord Have Control of Our Finances and Recognize I Am a Steward, He's the Master Wherever I Need This Plenty More Where That Came from. I Can Trust Him and That He'll Enable Me to Be Able to Do the Things He Calls Me Today What You Think Some Man Actually Base Their Worth on How Much Money They Have. Right.

Well, Maybe This Is to Do with Phrases That Are No Common Parlance, People Talk about Being a Self Made Man Is No Such Thing Know David and I Remember That in Scripture Went to Everything That God and Given Him His Life and yet Seen It Going to Be the Shepherd to Being the King of Israel Contained in L Had All These Conquests and and yet He Was.

He Just Sent to the Lord and Know Everything I Have Comes from You and I'm Only Giving Back When He Gave What What You Gave to Me. I Think That the Reason That We End up Basing Our Worth Comparing with the People, Etc. Based upon Income and Why so Many People Get Caught up in the Rat Race of That Comparison Is Again Lack of Consent in the Lobby Really Insidious Trying to Fill the Empty Hole inside with Normal Possessions, All Trying to Impress Other People Really Love It Comes down to That Lost Something That We Talked about before. Love Men. I Think a Lawson's Mom Waited All the Other and Is Forgetting Who Your Father Is. If You Don't. That Is You Not Going to Know Who You Are and Ultimately Regular Try and Prove Our Worth. When We Feel Worthless and Where Is If We Know I Am Eternally Loved. I Am Completely Accepted by My Heavenly Father and That He Wants to Let Me Know That I Don't Have To Worry about Anything Because They Look after the Birds of the Adhesive Look after Me and Then We We Can Have That Mindset in the Heart Change on the inside That Enables Us to Live More like Jesus, Who Himself Never Wanted for Anything and yet Gave an Unexpected Miraculous Provision and Saw It Happen All around Him so He Is Living like Jesus. Does God Really Care about How We Use Our Money We Have, Because Jesus Said Where Your Treasure Is a Sweetheart Canopy and so If I Don't Put Any Tenants Regiments of the Things of God into the Things of Kingdom into Inset Helping Other People. My Life Is Going to Be a Very Small Life That Just Revolves around Me and Sent to the Extent That I Can Demonstrate What Really Matters to Me Most by Looking through the Bank Statement. It's Really a Good Clear Indicator of What Is Really Important to Me Going on in My Life. Thanks for Joining Us Today for Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, Author of the New York Times Bestseller "The 5 Love Languages" You Can Find out More about Your Love Language by Going to Five Love You Can Listen to the Stream or Download the Podcast Right There and Discover More Ways to Strengthen Relationships Got a Five Love I Guess Is Anthony Delaney, Author of the Man You Were Made to Be Nothing to Prove Nothing to Hide, Everything to Live for.

You Can Find out More about that's moody book' length and we talked about fitness and finances. The third facet of his family.

A lot of men push this aspect of their lives down and you write about nearly losing your family. Tell us about that.

Yeah, I think this is something the family situation is different for everybody. Some people have got you know they may not know.

One parent was on the other. They may be in a blended family of some description, etc. the word the concept family is one which is is is quite difficult for us to be able to just quantify these days, but we know that Scripture says that said God is the father from him. Every family on earth derives its name and so we're only going to be able to and he says we come into his family and as we all leave fathered by him with Jesus as our older brother from that we can find out place we can know that were accepted and looked in the meantime, with people and then interweave whatever situation is that people listening in right now is all else, only blessings of come to my life it comes to my marriage to Zoe which have written about my previous book, the best marriage and extends through the family. Remember, I'm blessed to have strong connection with my children and we see the great-grandchildren regulate and all of things I just count his blessings from God.

But I'm also aware of the danger that can be in my life.

I'm a bit of a overachiever if I'm not careful and think some of that can want to come from myself.

Maybe even to myself and it is been Debbie's times in my life when drive to add the best I can be outsiders of just receiving the approval and acceptance of God is led me to see many late nights too much hard work.

Too much work at the expense of neglect of my family at different points and am so grateful I'm having a patient woman on the times we've ended up having to go into marriage counseling should be able to sit in that room and so look at those things in those times I realize so many men see this time and time again Paul of that best on the wrong goals. Maybe you feel like I'm not really succeeding well at home so I try and succeed at work again and they just make some vicious circle get worse and worse because you want to be the provider. Maybe that's what you saw is what your father did.

And you in some way you want to try and be the best you can be in an economist on why wife is not happy with that.

So you going to try harder.

But what isn't working on the exam and then end with you all the frustration that comes with out by think first of all is one. Except family is God's way.

One of God's chief ways to get his blessings through to us and what ever I invest in that is going to multiplier makes such a huge difference coming back to me in every way to the end of the dates you known are not to be remembered very much for the work I put in swallows different kinds of things, but what matters is to me is what you might want my grandchildren gonna say about me. While they can know about me was my wife going to think about me because when we get that kind of perspective we can live differently. You tell stories about man in the book tell us about someone you know who later real turnaround with her family while I'm grateful I keep getting stories of men even now is concept to me saying that the book is really help them in on various times about evil people in the end. Like serving in the Armed Forces of people imprisoned payment from those kind of things but most recent Montrose would be a guy here in my church called Galvin we we pull out like a lot of devotionals on our Facebook page and as a date we put something out this guy Galvin would buy me sharing the story.

He recently shared the story himself as somebody who he'd been a Christian when he was a young boy but then he walked away he talks about how his life. He believed he had a broken relationship with a previous marriage. They all fell flat and then he ended a bit depressed. You went into hospital without depression, and psychiatric problems, and came out try to rebuild his life but he didn't tell that he was in a worse position than that something just told him one day he said he is really sure how we met. It was somebody said just look at IV charge which is our church and he looked online and found in the newfound these faithless, I start to watch the one asking the other there only show 15 to 20 minutes. We spent all morning watching them one after the day came on the site Or checked out some of the teaching and his ex-wife to start. He's going up stairs and is that just miserable. And then he came downstairs any possible all of his life, his life was spent in that room just they think you know smoking. One of the great things he parceled all of his baking equipment needed for line play on the about secure all answer in the trash is washable you're doing and he said I'm done with that list forgot and she said what we can't just say the finish line.

He said no I'm not doing this, the Holy Spirit can help me and then since then Galvin didn't succumb to our church. You came along in the Sunday that same Sunday reading about his life to the Lord.

Now his wife, a son who comes to faith in Jesus Christ to the recently gave testimony about how how that's happened to Julie during the worst possible time as he was in that hard place doing covert and feeling isolated was was icy the time of the Lord methane and turned them around. Now he's is looking set potentially doing a different role in life is also looking to potentially study theology in Bible school and it's just wonderful to see that changing. When we turn our lives over to God. It's my own work the way we treat our families right is made such a difference in Galvin and his wife Lisa. The next facet W discusses failure. That must've been a hard chapter right well.

Ironically, when I just submitted the manuscript I realized I'd put the failure chapter in the wrong order. In the book, so not really how you can get it wrong that the chapter was so in the wrong place.

But yeah, I think that the issues all in the presence of everybody because nobody has a perfect record certainly not myself, and we we all make mistakes. Real surgery says that the book of James. We all make many mistakes and we have to recognize that we don't have to be defined by our failures but you say in the book that failure is an event, not a person. What are you my mother coming failure is what we do is what I do but it isn't who I am.

Somebody could say all I did this.

Now I'm a failure not. I did this I failed and I can learn from failure.

The something here in a while you down there pick something up and move on to the next thing so nobody's in a perfect track record. We just have to keep putting 1 foot in front of the other and the glorious thing I think is when somebody as we all do messes up that we and we go to God and gives us the grace to be able to time and time again. There's been times when I've struggled in the person who is referenced in that chapter in Scripture and in the bookcase is from Scripture is the apostle pizza who his life is one a catalog of paintings in many ways and keeps on making big promises. Lord, I'm going to do this law to do that, you know he even says he stepped out to walk on the water that he sunk were also without Jesus and the Lord reaches out and lifts him back up again and keep your eyes on me and every time Peter takes his eyes of Jesus and he fails, but whenever he looks again to Jesus is the author and the fates of our faith.

He's able to to keep on going and walk on water and in the end, he realizes that the one constant in his life has not been his own perfection as being the love of Jesus Christ that said so to me, and I'm certainly not a perfect man, I'm not writing this book as somebody says be like me but I fixed my eyes on Jesus, and know that every time I fall. He's there and he meets me in the failure, but doesn't leave me that and that he's come to lift us up and encourage us to keep on going. So those failures don't define us, but they can refine us. They can help us again is that diamond shapes and cords to be the man who made soupy example in your own life or you failed but through that failure to really learn something while supposed to go back to those times. Marriage counseling sessions which again anyway, ashamed to admit them. I think that if anything wrong than waiting for marriages to crash down his legs. Now I wish you were going to do some more regular sessions that help us to keep talking to get third-party advice and help in the Christian counselor is so good law than waiting until all construction down books and those times again. Very often I just found it was things like not listening to my wife and giving her lots of advice.

I'm not hearing her halt and and just to be able to learn that I speak the best thing I can do very often and just be that and no repeat back some of this, the things that on her half since I asked her about what's really going on that second question, and nobody prepared me for how to be a husband did not sense. Nobody yet another wasn't really any any any lessons for the I had to learn those things the hard way by making those mistakes and by failing again. I'm grateful for her forgiveness and patience with me to help to shape me.

I certainly couldn't be the man that God may be to be without Zoe is my partner by thing that I gather those up in the failures having once I remember is the talk about the love languages in the Heights. I made a very extravagant gift. One day, one month anniversary we I actually hired an airplane that we would fly around in a flying lesson for an hour's eye I saw will do the gifts book now realizes gifts is not her love language and she said all the time you are doing it.

She was saying how much is this costing easy going for a walk and her love language is quality time and she would've learned that way back to save myself some of money, and that yesterday that I could better my own marriage.

I'm sure would never have grown in the counseling if we had struggled in the early years of her own marriage.

This is Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the New York Times bestseller "The 5 Love Languages" were talking about the facets of a man with Anthony Delaney, the author of our featured resource titled the man you are made to be nothing to prove nothing to hide, everything to live for. Find out more at The fifth facet is friends but there are so many men who have no friends address that issue by thing that when I was a police officer, you realize that you build friendships by what you go through with people and going into some dangerous situations and are going through a door you don't know what's on the other side of it for some strong friendships with Mesa lights and my best friend right now just throw most of our lives. The uncle John. We both became Christians around the same time work to the same beach as we would say as police officers. He's at my church now.he's is the guy who knows everything there is to know about me and still loves me and he's my 2 AM 3 AM friend. He would be that if I was arrested in a Mexican prison he would come and find me and somehow get me out. But the question is not so much about. Well, how do I get from very often the best question is how can I be a friend like that and if you find somebody I'm defriend that person be a friend to that person, then I think that's the way that it is, where we have to go in and not just trying get something out of a relationship. We have to go through hard times with people and if you help somebody in that hard time fueled when naming the practice Mexican prison. It's a way I tell you that a friend for life and so looking for something that surely the people are looking for to so my question would be if you looking for a friend like that, you being your friend like that scriptures actually say they would have friends must show himself friendly. That's a good friend of the last of the six facets is the father father talk about in that section, but I recognize that for many men. The whole idea of father is one that puts them off guard props because their own father was abusive or absent.

All ingredients and so when you when Jesus comes along and says when you pray, say our father in heaven. They just see a bigger version of the father that I don't want anything to do with that can be problematic and so I think what we've got to do is is is recognize that our view of the father has to come from Scripture as is been revealed to us, not just from our own pictures or even from a good father somebody somebody in the I had a great daddy would love me unconditionally was that for me to get through tough times book. Jesus even said to the whole group of fathers. One day you are imperfect fathers everyone of you that I simply you know how to give good gifts to your children and the same not to say you have a heavenly father everybody every man woman and child into this right now has a heavenly father loves them and it's when we convinces Scripture we get to see who our father really is and everything changes when that happens, you talk about Jesus and how he embodies what you're talking about in this book. Yeah, in the great's absolute you know it. I think sometimes people may even listening to a show like this and cannot think of Jesus as the concepts always in Christianity is a list of rules and regulations and things to do and not to do, but in the end it all comes down to the Chiefs that we could never work out how good God is, we couldn't imagine how much he loves us so he stats from AT&T and sits on time and in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ revealed she was who God is and he is said that we could ever imagine auntie's rights and more loving and more kind and more forgiving than we deserved so yeah I think there's only ever be one perfect man and his name is Jesus Christ. And he wasn't in and he was tough without being renewed without being toxic.

He was kind without being a pushover and he know he knew what it was to be angry but to be able to be angry at the right things. He knew what he was to demonstrate love to speak love to be love to be compassionate to be tender and at the same time to be able to confirm evil and should be able to stand against injustice, and ultimately to be self-sacrificing to not think about himself puts it, to lay down his life rules and all those ways that I could talk about how much we admire the Lord Jesus and only scratch the surface so everything I can do is disappoint to him sure that it brings to mind my favorite hymn which says I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene, and wonder that he could love me center down so you're exactly right.

God loves us. Now there's a store in the New Testament about Zacchaeus and Jesus encounter with him. Zacchaeus was a tax collector or anything. Jesus chose him.

I think is he was the last man in town the last guy in town. Anybody might think that would be legally interested in Jesus, and Jesus will be on yet Jesus saw him out personally and he knew all about anyway and he called him by name on then he just looked at him and accepted him as he walls and not love and acceptance when he said to Zaki assembling to come to your house change Zacchaeus because that love and acceptance did want no pointing out from anybody else. No shaming would think for many minutes to say week trying keep your distance. Zacchaeus did when he climbed up a tree and he was try to observe Jesus from a distance, he wouldn't have any of that anybody listening right now you might be checking out garden checking on Jesus that can keep your distance pointless and he knows your name knows where you live, and he says I want to come to your house when you come see your house is not to judge is not to point out that things the wrong is to love you and Celeste and see about something happening. Zacchaeus, when he received that love and acceptance and when he saw who God really is. He said you know right now I'm in a change to change the way I admire I spend my money on minute change the way I treat people in all those changes that maybe it wanted to make all his life he couldn't make on a cell. But when Jesus came and came into his life.

Everything changed from the inside out that some is why he just one of my favorite characters in Scripture. As we come to the end of our time together today what your hope for man who will listen today or man who will read this book.

I think that they will not come to Jesus festival because Jesus said I am the way and the truth and the life is no other way you can figure out who you are.

You may debate lest you come to him but then he's gonna say to you this on the way and the truth and life and nobody comes to the father but by me in one of your experiences father walls, the hope of the world's first Tecumseh God is our father and should be changed by him to be all that he called us to be and do everything that he calls us to do, no matter what mistakes and failures.

We've all made along the way. When you come in San unifying because of Jesus Christ, acceptance and love and forgiveness and purpose and direction have hope where you have hopelessness and pasted the world cannot give that will be my hope for you that you will become everything God made you sick. You cannot break outside without relationship with him and that you enjoy that relationship because it really is the best way to plan for this earlier. Thank you for being with us today and I pray that God will use this book to touch the lives of many thanks again so to find out more about this. Excellent resource, click the radio microphone right there. The title is the man you were me to be nothing. Nothing to hide, everything to live. Go to Moody books and next week we open the phone lines for your questions and comments love languages or your relationships are September dear Gary is coming up in one week.

Thank you to our production team. The black and tan Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman at the production meeting radio casing with many publishers administering the Bible. Thanks for listening

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