Share This Episode
Building Relationships Dr. Gary Chapman Logo

Dear Gary

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman
The Truth Network Radio
January 25, 2020 7:03 am

Dear Gary

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman

On-Demand Podcasts NEW!

This broadcaster has 179 podcast archives available on-demand.

Broadcaster's Links

Keep up-to-date with this broadcaster on social media and their website.

January 25, 2020 7:03 am

​What would you say to a woman whose husband has said, “I’ve fallen out of love?” What would you say to a husband whose wife has cheated on him? Coming up on the next Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, it’s our January Dear Gary edition as the New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages takes questions and comments from his listener line. Hear some honest struggles shared on the next Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman.

See for privacy information.

Encouraging Prayer
James Banks
Renewing Your Mind
R.C. Sproul
Focus on the Family
Jim Daly
The Christian Car Guy
Robby Dilmore
Running to Win
Erwin Lutzer
Line of Fire
Dr. Michael Brown

People are on "The 5 Love Languages" language and the need to feel love. The significant your life is emotionally my wife and I read it together and we quickly realize like we are the exact opposite on the love language scale quizzes, with Lee Terry Chapman, to me, love I would just get ready is about marriage, family struggles, and the love languages all coming up today on Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman love anymore to get around well. Five love languages today are questions for this trusted author January edition of dear Gary, we always look forward to your questions and your feet program. In response to calls questions. Sometimes you might disagree with something: poses the question given the chance to clarify something.

Here's our number 86642 Gary? Can't call you back: 186-6424 dear, you might hear an answer on future broadcaster featured resource today is a book that was just released a little earlier this month, 52 uncommon ways to unwind together to find it@ Gary that's interesting that the concept of not just unwinding, but unwinding together is actually book on how to have a date, together with there would be really relaxing for both of you, something that at least one of you enjoys that the other enthusiastically joins in with that so that we are both enjoying it were relaxed were unwinding with each other really good ideas and of course certain of the ideas will appeal to some couples, and other ideas to others, but it's a great resource for couples that really would like to keep marriage exciting and have the sense that they were in this thing together.

One of the things I do for Andrea's driver places and she she could drive better than I can, but he just allows her to kinda sit back and relax and not have to worry about any of the traffic or how to get there. You know what roads to take all that and I find we have some really good conversations when something like that happened to Carol drive me around.

Sometimes Chris driving.turn right at the next intersection. Here are much better than the directions so yeah a long time. She drives about to sit back and relax. So I'm identifying with Israel, that one can find a resource@ it might be something they can give each other for Valentine's Day coming up 52 uncommon ways to unwind together again go to five love This is our dear Gary broadcast for right here at the end of January so let's begin the conversation with a question from a hurting wife who needs some wise counsel together over the course of several months. He has me not love our cares for me very much love her two children, but not want to be married any longer and filing for divorce course very devastating because I was 16 when a school event with each other.

Neither one of us ever been with anyone else that more than half my life from together. We have changed as individuals but I strongly believe and fighting for marriage. I would like a way to think that there is no reconciliation. He just keeps telling me that he's not happy so were still living together at life is going on as normal no idea he took off his wedding ring.

About a year ago something happened which led us to read the book together.

He said he would try the therapy one and did not want to pursue the therapy which was very frustrating for me because I really wanted to work on our marriage.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm really at a loss not ready to give up even though she had so much by this was the same kind of story ideas. This is just a guess is that her husband is already involved with someone else. Most not take off their wedding band and do not continue to cite to the spouse don't love you anymore, and I'm not happy and I'm probably for divorce. Most men do not do that unless there already involved with someone else that makes it much more difficult to reconcile because of a person is involved with someone else there in a very euphoric state with that other person click back to when you fell in love with somebody it is euphoric and so he's comparing that new relationship with the relationship in which he said and apparently he hasn't been happy in that relationship. For whatever reason, so I don't discourage this. This wife. In fact, I will encourage her. She said she didn't want to give up. I would say great. Don't give up. Pray there's not a whole lot you can actually do right at the moment because if you focus on speaking. His love language in his mind he sayings too late and that's 15 years ago. Whatever you do, that's positive, trying to reach out to him. He's going to disregard it. Especially if he is indeed involved with someone else. I think prayer that God would work in his life in his heart God with open his eyes to reality that God would help him make the work the right decision. Remember, God doesn't like people do right, but God does put roadblocks in front of people.

God does cause things to happen. Bring people into their lives. In the wake people up so don't underestimate the power prayer if he has a good friend and that you are aware of. I would talk to the friend and ask if he would be willing to talk with your husband you, I did write about this.

Call one more try what to do when your marriage is falling apart and I think it would be good for you to read that book because it may give you some ideas.

But what I'm suggesting is this is probably not good to be a quick fix. He's probably will have to run this run down this road for a while and maybe maybe he won't come back.

I don't know that we never know because one person cannot create a marriage cannot keep a marriage together and that's why I am often trouble when people just pitch divorce people into one category and have a negative attitude toward people are divorced. Listen one person cannot keep the other person from divorcing and when that happens, then they are divorce but divorces are not created equally. So I just want to encourage her to stick with God. Stick with your friends that you say the children don't know this yet.

That's another whole issue that you're going to have to deal with when the time comes, because you can't divorce you can't separate without it affecting the children. So you got a hard road in front of you. But don't give up. I would say give it at least two years in your mind.

If you can say I'm going to give this two years. I'm going to stick with him. I will be faithful to him. What he does leave me divorce me.

I'm not going to get involved with anybody else but a bit sick to be a mom to my children seek to be available to to reconciliation and I just see what God does in those two years. I think whatever happens at the end of the two years you will be stable. You will be with God you be able to make it. Let me encourage you with the attitude that you've already expressed that you don't want to give up feature resource today is the 52 uncommon ways to unwind together again, perfect for Valentine's Day. Find out more about it@ we just heard a conversation about a husband who says I'm not in love with you divorce is a controversial topic in the church. Of course, and I know that you don't advocate divorce Gary but here's a caller who wants some clarification about something that you said on a program a while ago your program and heard a caller and divorce to why married and divorced my head. Another woman, and he was saying something about being concerned about being proper first wife was still alive and you're saying that wasn't really stay to a second marriage to get around Romans chapter 7 verses 1 to 3 know you not, brother, and four. Speak to them that know the law, how that the law have to man over man as long as you live with having husband is bound by law to her husband along husband be dead husband while her husband liveth should be married to another man. She should be called an adulterous. Her husband be dead, she is free from that law so that she is no adulterous should be married to another man in this topic comes up another. Scriptures well that one thinks me pretty clear cut late response would be that thank you question that God hates divorce, but I was very clear about that and there's no question that the ideal is one man and one woman for a lifetime.

That's God's plan. Anything less than that is less than what God intended marriage to be effective. However, God doesn't allow people to do wrong and God does not give up on people and they do wrong. So in this particular example is a man who had been married twice to his first wife and then for whatever reason. He's now into another marriage and I'm certainly not suggest to him that he divorce the woman to whom is now married and go back to his first wife who knows she may are to be remarried. By now you know we are where we are. I guess that's one of the points I was trying to make for this first marriage or third or fourth marriage. We are where we are and when I try to say is wherever you are in your marriage.

Let's make this the kind of marriage that God intended us to have a loving, supportive, caring relationship, one in which the husband views his wife in the same way that Christ views the church and is willing to serve her and give himself for her, as Christ did the church when he does that. There are not many women that are run away from man who has that attitude toward her. So what I'm saying is we are where we are. Let's make the marriage were now in what God intended marriage to be next caller who has a struggle that I thing a lot of people are going to identify with.

Whether it is a friendship that you have or it's a romantic relationship hey Gary and then heading bouncing alone. How can I overcome my jealousy and right because it made because of the man that well might be frank with thank you.

Also, jealousy can be traced to our history. That is if you been in a relationship in the past a dating relationship and that they broke up the relationship and if this happens once or twice, then you do become concerned about the present relationship. If you see her in this case, her talking to someone else then that whole sentence is almost here. It's coming again so that may be that the history that is bringing you to feel jealousy toward her talking to other men. However, what we have to recognize is that every individual is an individual and we shouldn't judge them based on how somebody else treated us in the past, we acknowledge that we have a tendency to do that because of our experience but we want to be fair to them in any dating relationship. There's nothing wrong with either one of you talking to someone else of the opposite sex.

It may or may not have anything to do with romance but is simply being a human.

We interface with people on a daily basis. So I think if you can look at your own past and if you see something like that recognize words coming from and then say to yourself and to God. Lord, I want to treat this lady that I'm now dating with respect I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I don't want to read into her behavior something that's not there because if you do you'll destroy this relationship if you start accusing her, telling her she shouldn't talk to anyone else, then you're going to push her away and you'll go through another separation so I just think treating her with dignity and respect and asking God to help you do that in spite of the feelings that might surface from time to time is the road you want to walk. So are you saying.

Jealousy is a choice. I think the feeling of jealousy is not a choice the feeling the emotion that comes with that simply grabs us, but I do think that we can choose our attitude toward the other person in the attitude should be one of trust, as opposed to jealousy. I like and I wonder if you ever felt that way about you and Carol been married for how long, 58 years 53 credit 58 years. Okay, it's a did you ever experience jealousy about an old flame or vice versa. No Chris not really in Carolyn's best girlfriend was my girlfriend in high school, but later she was at our wedding and that we both known or through the years, but neither one of us Victor. But Carolyn ever since that I was going back like I told Karen before emeritus and don't worry about me going back to her. She broke my heart. Once she got to break it again. You have always given care of the freedom to talk to other people did I even even as adults and been married all these years. He talks a lot to me at a church you know and that she has a listening ears against Encouraging Word's available and how to treat their spouse feel like Dr. in the lobby.

She not a counselor but she's a listener and that she certainly advises the people that ask her questions about what they should do Does it never been apart. Then you have you've gained his trust after 50 years you gained his trust of her so as your trust has gone, the jealousy is just nonexistent. And maybe that will also help the caller you know the more you trust this relationship you with her, the more you feel confident about that. Then the less you will be jealous if she talks with somebody else and spend your time together focusing on enjoying each each other's company. Not criticizing them for something they may have done or something you think like they did in your time together make it pleasant. She want to come back and date you again. But if it's unpleasant, and why should she keep dating you. This is Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. You can find out more about him. "The 5 Love Languages" , at five love enter featured resource today is 52 uncommon ways to unwind together "The 5 Love Languages" .com husband and wife have a lot of conflict can Gary help. Here's our next caller Gary I have a career of trying to discover what I love languages we have that communicated clearly love each other want to be together. We not only want to get even over the road truck driver. So it's a little complicated asking bear yelled that he can listen to on his truck close to the paperback like a book or what do you suggest for us as a couple to come together and figure out on my language it how to communicate better. Thank you so very much and I hope all is well. Thank you thank you moving in the right direction and sounds like you have a good foundation which the build your marriage because you said you both love each other you want to be with each other. You want this marriage to be you want this marriage to be good and positive and learning each other's love language is I think one of the foundation stones in building a healthy marriage is not L everything but it's an important part of the relationship so the answer answered your question about an audio version of "The 5 Love Languages" is yes, there is an audio version of the five love linkages and I found that many people prefer listening to a book as opposed to reading a book, so I would say make every effort to get that in a sense so they can listen as his running down the road and then after he has been exposed to the concept of the five love linkages. I would encourage both of you to take the online quiz@ which are designed to help you discover your primary love language. His primary love language and then you speak it and as you speak it. Both of you begin to feel this is so good. I feel loved.

It's it's our deepest emotional need to feel loved by the significant people in our lives.

If you're married, the most important person is that you feel loved by your spouse, so I would say take time to work through it. Take time to discuss it. Take time then to speak each other's language. And I think you're going to be on a positive road and I have been privileged to read a lot of those audiobooks for Gary.

If you go there every time I do one of these.

"The 5 Love Languages" of teenagers or the military addition every time I come away with a new insight of something that I forgot the last thing I read this book so I hope you hear my voice on "The 5 Love Languages" and and that audio version. But let me ask you this Gary her significant other.

She said is a truck driver is a truck driver gone much of the week. If not, you know over driving over the road for a couple weeks and come up back and spending the weekend or few days and then going back again that's kind like a military marriage is an it is for Chris in the sense that they are part of a great deal of time and in the military addition as you know we talk about how to speak these love languages when you are deployed driving a truck across countries. Not exactly like being in another country. But that book would have some ideas on how to do that, but all the more important that you speak each other's love language when you are apart for long periods of time like that. One other question she mentioned conflict are going through a lot of conflict. I think many couples think that if you have a good marriage. You won't have conflict. He stated that every couple has conflict for one simple reason. Where human and humans don't think the same way about anything and they don't have the same emotions so pending.

Conflict is not the problem. The problem is we don't know how to solve conflicts without arguing. So we end up arguing because both of us think our idea is the best idea, and so we try to tell the other person like that won't work, and why.

Ours is the thing we ought to do and to people who are arguing and I don't have a healthy marriage because he wants to be yelled at you. Who wants to be told that their ideas are wrong. So I think we have to learn how to solve conflicts. I deal with that in a book called the marriage you've always wanted. How to solve conflicts without arguing and it involves learning how to listen putting yourself in the shoes of the other person and trying to see things from their perspective, rather than simply trying to make sure that they get your perspective so learning how to listen to each other and affirm each other's ideas and then say okay we disagree.

It's okay now how do we solve it and you spend your energy trying to solve it rather than spending your energy trying to win the argument. A huge factor in having a healthy marriage that's up to Gary Chapman. We have just a couple minutes before our next break, I want to read something a question from start marriage it's a great website to go to. If you've never been there. Start marriage Lori rights it might touch language is it to and my husbands is a 10 how can I get myself to speak his language is that also involves me wanting to be touched. What you say to Lori. Love is a choice and what I hear her saying is that if she doesn't get a lot out of physical touch. So how can she learn to speak his language of physical touch. Here's the good news. All of the love languages can be learned, even if they're not comfortable to you. And let's face it, if you didn't receive these growing up they will not be comfortable to you and they will not seem natural to you but you can learn how to speak these languages is physical touch as his language, you start with the little things you give them up pat on the shoulder rather than just walking by not touching it, you reach over when you're having dinner. Put your hand on his leg. Are you driving down the road you do the same thing.

Are you just reach over as you walk into a store and take it saying that this the simple things that do not come natural for you know you have to think about it, but as you do those things. Every time you give him an affirming touch you communicate love to him. Whatever your language is it that makes you feel when he speaks your love language. That's how he feels you touch him. So we go not by our feelings. We go because we know this is important to them. Love is something you do for someone else. Not something you do for yourself. If you enjoy our program. Be sure to visit our website. Five love area. Find out more about Dr. Gary Chapman in his New York Times bestseller, "The 5 Love Languages" and much more. We have a list of seminar locations coming up for Dr. Chapman.

You can hear podcasts of the program and find out about our featured resource all@ and that resources 52 uncommon ways to unwind together again go to five love If you have a question for us to cover call a number, leave a message. We can't call you back but you might hear an answer here on the program.

186-6424 Gary is the number 186-6424 Gary the love languages can help a lot of marriages, a lot of relationships, but what about when adultery and betrayal happen.

Here's her next question.

My life, but jaded on with her.Mark Mark that I give her the worst.

Don't know the adultery says she's cheated on him. I don't know if that was an event or if it's an ongoing thing.

Obviously you cannot have a good marriage.

If one of you is involved with someone else sexually and giving gifts, even if it is her love language is not going to help the relationship.

If she's involved with someone else if the relationship is ongoing. Then there has to be a confrontation essentially are saying to her, I love you too much to do nothing about what's happening you're having a relationship with someone else you're living in our house. I can go on like this. This is not marriage, and I can't go on like this. Now if you're willing to go for counseling. I'll go with you for counseling and will try to see if we can work this out, but I'm not simply going to go on providing everything for you here in the house while you're seeing someone else. It's that kind of tough love that brings things to ahead so she either makes the decision she's going with the other person or she's going to go with you for counseling, but simply thinking that the passing of time will make a difference or that you're giving her gifts is going to make a difference will not likely cause her to break off the relationship. She has to make a fundamental decision. Is she going to work with you on the marriage or is she going to leave and go with the other person. I do deal with this concept in my book. One more try what to do when your marriage is falling apart. I deal with the issue where one of them is having an affair. I think you'd find that to be helpful and there is no there is no magic thing that happens even if I just get the right gift, then everything is to be okay. I think you did that that tough love comes in here Gary that you cared too much to let things go on the way they're going that and he doesn't have any control over her response that no but I do think a Chris that tough love sometimes is the only love that the person will respond to in a positive way and I emphasize its love.

When you when you're forcing a person is being sexy unfaithful to you to face the issue because you care about them and you care about the marriage and you cannot simply sit here and let this continue to go on that it is an act of love, and often it does awaken the other person to realize who I'm about to lose something here. Is this really the route I want to walk so it can be a sincere act of love the website again is five love where you can find out more about that book one more try. Here is a single color.

Gary and there is so much emotion and struggle that's in here she's been told something quite devastating to go. I will not pay premarital I really struggle, why not start heart I alluded very very wonderful but I like and blurted out, she believed, because I won't engage in the sexual part of a relationship is very calling for encouragement five year relationship.

The other part of me couldn't commit rights for but she Dr. Gary with this color.

I think anyone listening can sense the pain and hurt that she's experiencing and having just come out of a five year relationship. Obviously that she anticipated was going to lead to marriage but did not it's it's it it's an intense moment in her life. It's unfortunate in my opinion that Christian would encourage her to have premarital sex and essentially be saying you're not get married unless you do, we never break God's commands in order to make something happen in the Bible is very clear that sexual intercourse is for a husband and a wife is in the context of marriage that were sexually integral with each other. So I think it's unfortunate that she receive that kind of advice. The first thingwhat you've already said you know you're not alone. God is with you.

It is God's plan for some people not to be married.

Jesus himself was not married and we've all known people who did not merit, but for most people it is God's plan for them to get married so I would say first belt don't give up much too young to give up okay. I would also say seek to find a person who has the same commitment you have two living a godly life and especially when it comes to the sexual part of the relationship. I don't know if you've gone aligned to some of the Christian dating services but I'm finding that a lot of people are finding someone online and those sites where they have a chance to talk and talk about these kind of things before they ever even get in the relationship. So what I'm saying I guess is maybe get out of your comfort zone.

In terms of looking for or exposing yourself to people who might have the potential of being a husband for you. It may be going to another church if they have a singles group for midlife singles but essentially you're asking God to guide your efforts. You're not simply sitting around waiting for someone to knock on your door. We have to be moving for God to guide us, so I would say begin moving in directions that maybe you haven't before. In terms of finding someone who has the same beliefs that you have an and thus would be a prospect for a husband would be a good idea to to bring in trusted friends and say hey here's what my prayer for this new year in 2020. This is my prayer that God would allow me to find this in a life mate, would you pray with me for that. Nothing up in the timetable and on God, but I think sometimes what we can we can be too timid to ask God things that we are the real desire of our hearts. I think you're right, Chris, and I think it's always good to bring friends into your life and then asked those friends to pray for you because this is a huge issue. Obviously this color. It's a huge issue and so to ask friends to pray with you that God would guide you and in this and bring someone in your life. If this is his plan for you. Yes, again the Scripture say we have not because we asked not and so having friends that if you were sick, you'd probably asked some friends to pray for you that God would heal you. So what out Ashley pray about this as well. It's interesting that she use that phrase old maid that that's what she's been cold.

You know, at 51. I just it boggles my mind that if you buddy would put her in that category, but but you haven't talked about contentment you know and and I don't I just bring that up to say there is a sense that there is a deep longing that I think God puts their and there is then this of you know, yeah. It's a contentment is a choice to so what what do you know should she just be content where she is. While she looks.

I think Chrissy should make the most of her life. While she's waiting to see if God is going to give her is if God is going to lead her into marriage I'm and 51. She says she's energetic jealousy has a lot going for her. She has a lot to give and she is investing in her nieces and nephews. She said I think she said she had 50 8/2 of a full-time job there. But yeah I would say make the most of your life as a single and if God then has someone for you there.

Coming to a lady who is doing something worthwhile with her life, not someone who sitting around praying that somebody come along and make her happy. She is happy in Christ, and she is happy in serving other people in this. After all, is the source of real satisfaction in life, giving ourselves and using our talents and abilities for God regularly. Our next call had some technical difficulties with the phone, but you've got to hear the question because it's I think it's an important one about the past, the present and the future. So here we go. Three. She found out that when her grandpa to uncle Frank have to check out wondering how my father tonight. My siblings and don't want to get it and I'm just wondering that something so private in their life and they're not no longer something that she should be pursuing how to handle them so concerned it's still pride in their lives. I don't know they wanted to come to light. This way, please give me your answer I think I appreciate your time because this is an interesting question with people looking into their ancestry is amazing what you might find some of it may not be too pleasant. I don't know that we should get involved so much in trying to trace down members of our family that were not aware of what the advantage of that would be taken off and stir up emotions and feelings in all sorts of things through your family members. Some of us are more inquisitive than others understand that and if you feel you must trace this down.

That's up to you. It's your choice. There some things however I feel it's just better to let them be. You know if somebody else brings them up or confronts a person with it. Then they come to you about it and you can try to help them work through their emotions. I don't know that I'd want to pursue. Trying to find someone that is in my ancestry line that I didn't know about that. Maybe work was born out of wedlock. I think I let that ride and let and let God handle that if he wants to really surface it let him handle it, but what you do with some family member who is more inquisitive, you know, do you do you confront the person D or do you just kind of let that be whatever it is with with them. I think in that case, if in this case I think the count. The cousin came to her about this thing she discovered about her father. I think I just share with the cousin your own feelings if you don't want to pursue it to say to her in. That's fine that you found this and shared it with me. I just choose not to pursue it, and I hope that you will pursue it.

That's my request of you. Obviously she can keep them from pursuing if I want to if I want to confront the father. It's up to them, but I think share with them your idea as to how you'd like to handle this and make a request of them and and I think her father had passed away, so they're dealing with.

You know this history that the past that gets into the present and will affect the future. How do you not have bad feelings for the cousin then you know how you not to hold this over them. The rest of their lives.

You brought this out and you the truth will set you free. Well yeah but the truth can really be hurtful at times to think for the person who's digging into their ancestry to be sensitive about what they discover and whether they will all to share it with family members or not share with family members, especially if there's nothing productive they could come out of it or anything that productive could come out of this thing is just a warning for us to think before we act on these issues. Well, I don't think we've ever gotten a question before and it's a really really good one.

If you want to leave the question for Dr. Gary Chapman call us at 866424 Gary 186-6424 Gary now when you have a spouse who is constantly negative. What do you do, here's our next caller will and how are no don't know what church with her personalities are different. Some folks are more jovial and everything is positive and they see the positive things in life and others are exactly the opposite of that.

No question about it.

One is better than the other and will make life easier for others to have lived together for 28 years and lived in this kind of live with this kind of person has been very difficult. I'm sure I am glad you're seeing a counselor I think that's helpful because you need someone outside of the setting to help you think about what steps you might take. I think it's positive that her husband is a Christian that he is going to church hopefully should be hearing some things from the Scriptures that would challenge him with his attitude in life, but it's very difficult when persons develop that kind of lifestyle where everything is negative. No matter what you say their perspective is this is something bad. Many times it's grown out of childhood experience where they were in a home where they were either abuse or they were disappointed again and again and again and so this kind became the mindset the way they approached all of life that everything was bad around them if they would go for counseling that would be the most positive thing if if the husband would agree to go for counseling so that someone can help him think through his life and how he became to be the person he is, because their dynamics in his life that brought him to be this kind of person, and we understand ourselves better and then have some encouragement to work with God in letting God change the negative parts of our personality and grow more and more like Christ. I mean this is the road to the real victory. I would tell them how much you're getting out of the counseling and I would encourage him to to get counseling. You might even at some juncture, talk to a good friend of his, or someone that you think he might respect and asked them if they would encourage him to get counseling and maybe provide information on accounts or they think would be helpful for him. Rather this and get counseling so you here's a counselor here's the phone number. This person is skilled in this area.

I think you'd really find it helpful if he would go for counseling that will be the best possibility that there could be change in his life.

There's one thing ever heard you say is that you cannot change your spouse but you can influence or any relationship you can't change the other person but you can influence. Is there any way that she can influencing influence him to not be so negative. Your negative all the time and you know hold up a sign when these negative or do you know stop is there any way she can influence him toward a more positive outlook. Chris what I suggest when I'm counseling people in a situation similar. This is you speak. His love language for six months.

Unconditionally, whatever is love language is even if he stays the way he is. You speak is love language six months once or twice a week so that he begins to feel loved that he may feel condemned by you if you brought this up to him. You're just so negative you're just so negative and he he feels condemned by you, but you speak is love language over six month.

And if nothing changes. You can so you know honey I don't how you feel about this but I feel like I've really been loving you. I do love you have been expressing love to you. It seems to me, however, you don't really care about us.

Maybe I'm wrong but it seems to me you don't really care so I don't know. I'm trying to decide what do I need to do you get your getting serious with him now because you been giving him what he really needs emotionally and he's not respond. He's not reciprocating so that kind of that kind of approach to me has the best possibility of your being a positive influence on him and many times I've seen that person respond back to the one whose loving them because they're feeling love now not condemn before we conclude today. Here's her number where you can leave a message for Dr. Chapman were question 186-6424 Gary maybe you want to comment on something that he said in today's broadcast 186-6424 Gary and would love to hear from you don't forget to check out our featured resource of the website. Five love it's 52 uncommon ways to unwind together again. Five love languages.coming up next week conversation about the vision we see in America politics society.

Even the church don't miss conversation looking forward to carrying a big thank you to our production team Janice time Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman action radio in Chicago with many publishers ministry and five

Get The Truth Mobile App and Listen to your Favorite Station Anytime