Share This Episode
Building Relationships Dr. Gary Chapman Logo

Dear Gary - March

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman
The Truth Network Radio
March 27, 2021 4:00 am

Dear Gary - March

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman

On-Demand Podcasts NEW!

This broadcaster has 179 podcast archives available on-demand.

Broadcaster's Links

Keep up-to-date with this broadcaster on social media and their website.


March 27, 2021 4:00 am

The questions are in, your messages have been received, and it’s time for answers on today's edition of Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. Each month the New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages takes questions and comments from his listener line. He’ll talk with singles about dating and address the sex-less marriage.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
Our Daily Bread Ministries
Various Hosts
Running to Win
Erwin Lutzer
Running to Win
Erwin Lutzer
Connect with Skip Heitzig
Skip Heitzig
Our Daily Bread Ministries
Various Hosts
A Call to the Nation
Carter Conlon

This is Doug Hastings, VP of Moody radio and were thankful for support from our listeners, and businesses like United faith mortgage mortgage commercials are rarely exciting. So to make it slightly more interesting.

Here my nieces to do it for me.

Interest rates continue to drop like my sister's baby teeth, her uncle Larry and Stu last year it was rates are boring. Talk historically low and now this year is even more boring. Talk historically lower than the previous point talk historically low sounds boring for so many listeners who just wanted to deal at refinancing right now could see the amount of light faith in God and that love some borrowers could potentially save hundreds monthly and tens and tens of thousands over the life of the loan, and that he didn't put 20% down before somebody ends up having to pay PMI gave uncle Brian I sent we are United faith mortgage United faith mortgage is a DBA of United mortgage Corp. 25 Millville Park Rd., Millville, NY license mortgage backer for licensing information, go to an MLS consumer access.org corporate MLS number 1330. Equal housing lender not licensed in Alaska, Hawaii, Georgia, Massachusetts, North Dakota, South Dakota and Utah people are on "The 5 Love Languages" Gary Chapman, the successful five love languages you love your life is my wife and I read it together and we quickly realize like we are the exact opposite of the love language, scaled quizzes, with Lee Gary Chapman today. We'll find your questions on building relations ships with Dr. Gary Chapman, Gary L. Bestseller the five love one of the most conversation post questions, counselor and author Dr. Harry Chapman Ray questions today on our March is here. It's always our hope, when Gary deals with the topic that it might also help you or someone going through some similar situations like to call the question for an upcoming program numbers 186-6424 dear 186-6424 dear you leave your message will try to get it on a future broadcast featured resource today is by York Moran, Dr. Chapman. It's titled scene known love five truths about God and your love language York as such an interesting story. Gary what why do you think this book is important because I'm excited about this because it is for a generation that is experiencing loneliness and sense of discouragement in the sense that nobody never really knows me.

Nobody really cares about me. As you know, the suicide rate has gone up in the within the past year or so and is not all the pandemic. Is this the sense that nobody really cares. And so this book is really written to non-Christians and were saying you know you are known.

You are loved by God and were using "The 5 Love Languages" to demonstrate that it's a kind of book that you can do as a Christian can do to a non-Christian truck got slightly a few months ago severe about okay so those books after I read it to everybody I know said that her non-Christians and he so what I'm tell Ms. read this book until more to think about it. It's a small book in order to readable book. I think non-Christians will begin reading it will read it.

So yeah, I think God's going to use this book to bring some people into the family which is why we wrote scene known love that that's a good five truths about God and your love language you can find out more about it. Five love languages.calm right now. Since this is our March dear Gary program. Let's get your calls first up a new marriage with a blended family struggle Gary July 2009 blended family book that you wrote on dealing with a lot right now in my marriage, my wife and I agree on many, many, we are in a blended family on and we agree on downgrading him communication and a lot of counseling a couple times.

You may want to go over very well. She's had a dramatic path and I have not. So there's been a lot of difficulty in our marriage and I just want to reach out to you that Bernie help is any hope the little booklet at the moment I present everything personal prayers were in a blended family dynamics are very different than when neither of us have been married before and that's why wrongdoing I wrote the book that he alluded to. Building love together blended families. I mean let's face it, every married couple is going to have differences for one simple reason were human and humans don't think the same way.

We don't have the same ideas we don't have the same emotional response to things that happen so that that's just a part of being married that conflicts over various and sundry issues, but understand how you get to the place where you feel like there's no hope. It just seems like we disagree on everything and we all we do is argue about it and we don't sell things by arguing we saw things about listening and trying to hear what the other person is saying. Putting yourself in their shoes.

Looking at the world through their eyes and asking questions to clarify so that you really can't understand you may not agree with it but you can so you know, now that I've heard you can understand. You would think that I can see how that would make sense. Let me share my side.

If you learn to listen to each other and affirm each other and give them the freedom to disagree with you, then you can focus on how can we solve the problem. What are the possibilities here, but must let's talk about how we can solve this because marriage is a team we come to marriage with different ideas. We come with different abilities, but if we will listen to each other.

That's the key, listening and affirming each other and then say how can we solve this and there's three basic ways to solve a conflict. One is that one of you agrees to go with the others position and say okay I think in this case, I'm willing to go with you that what you're thinking. The other is I'll meet you in the middle that is. Let's find something between the two ideas will both compromise will both give a little something we can agree on and the other is we agree to disagree and some of those things you will come back and discuss them again in a month, but sometimes agreeing to disagree is okay. We can live for a lifetime like that.

If I give you a simple example, one of the arguments that couples often have is simply that we squeeze the toothpaste in the middle on the bottom. Well, let's just get to choose to do it my way. That'll last for a lifetime so I can understand the hopelessness that the caller is feeling very empathetic with that, but I would say yes there is hope in your looking in the right direction when you're reading a book on blended family like the one that we mentioned and and if she would read it with you. That would certainly be ideal. Each of you read a chapter week and this is what can we learn from this chapter that would be ideal. But even if not least, you can read it and begin to apply some of those things and then the other thing you're doing. I think it's very commendable is your reaching out for counseling. And even if she doesn't go with you sale.

You can process your own feelings and the counselor can help you think of different ways to approach her so that she might have a more open spirit to you so I don't give up.

Listen God can change hearts and minds and make sure first of all, that you're walking close to God and you're asking God to give you what Jesus demonstrated when he said I did not come to be served.

I came to serve and give my life a ransom for others. You don't have to give your life a ransom. Jesus did that already okay but we're here to follow his example and serve our wife speak. Her love language meet her needs and what we're doing that she's far more likely to be open to your ideas and listen to you.

You listen to her you meet her needs for love and see if God doesn't use that to change her heart and he mentioned trauma in her past, which is not part of his allotted grace and a lot of understanding that might be the best thing that comes from the counseling that he goes to is how do I love her when she has a lot of things that are coming up from the past that I don't understand absolutely Chris and we are all impacted by our past experience were not controlled by, but often we need help to process the emotions and thoughts. The memories of all of that and unite she got counseling just for herself to process some of that would be a positive step in the right direction. The book that was mentioned by our callers.

Building love together in blended families.

"The 5 Love Languages" and becoming stepfamily smart by Ron Diehl and Dr. Gary Chapman.

You can find out more at 5lovelanguages.com before we take a break. I want you to hear this single caller Gary who once your advice about his dating situation. Gary show every week.

The respite for my weary soul.

But anyway mine keeps telling IV validating and why aren't you pretty good if you really don't want to, not really. I'm not really interested in looking out stuck on the past and I just you know me, my eyes are open but I'm just not interested limited married single all life, and I don't quite respond, my friend, he just doesn't want to let out there now have a talk with my friend but I don't think I'm abnormal but not medically.

Websites really work for me so I know your take on that is thank you well today do not today. That sounds like the question I think your your friend is speaking from his own experience and how meaningful it's been a have a relationship with a gal. Maybe he's already married.

I don't know and he knows that you don't get married until you date so he's trying to encourage you along those lines.

God has a plan for each one of us and that though the plan for most people is marriage. It doesn't mean it's the plan for everyone and their biblical examples of folks that didn't get married so I think the key is your walk with God. Walk closely with God and then be involved in a church family were there other single adults so that you can interface with them and help them process line and let them help you process life. You know it's in the context of following God and living out your life for him that if it's God's plan for you to get married eventually the lady will surface somewhere along the line in that journey.

If you're following God and walking close with him involved in the local church and God has a person for you. He knows how to bring that person to you, so it I wouldn't put yourself down for not having real interest in that right now.

One of the questions I would ask if you are in my office is what are you interested in what what what you doing with your life you how are you investing your life because that's that that's the key issue.

God wants each of us is equipped us and he wants us to use what he's given us to serve his purposes and that means involving people reaching out and investing your life and people helping them come to know Christ, helping them to grow in Christ and walking alongside letting them encourage you and you encourage them if you're living that kind of walk with God and in is God's intention for you to marry at the right time. You will be interested okay so you talk with your friend. I share your heart with your friend, but mainly keep open what God has for you. I program is Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman and this is our dear Gary broadcast for March. If you have a relationship question, number 186-6424 Gary is not counseling line. We can call you back. But if you keep your question as brief as possible. Will try to address it here on the program.

Also, be sure to turn down any music or the radio in the background we get some great questions, but sometimes we can't use them because of all the background noise to call us today 186-6424 Gary featured resource today is our York Moors book written along with Dr. Chapman seen known love five truths about God and your love language you can find out more about it@ 5lovelanguages.com okay Gary. Next up is a husband who was honest with his wife that caused some problems and a note to parents.

This call does deal with the topic of pornography. So we want to give you fair warning about that. Here's our next call hi Gary unmarried eight years and I revealed my wife that I had been in with masturbation and pornography. For the past two months. I confess that a conviction and we are going to go see couples therapy in this process. We haven't been able to really talk much as no world communication, which I understand. I just want to know would like go from here far as next steps in the healing process for my wife. Thanks think that many of our listeners screw sick and die with this many of them of course have not confessed to their wife and their still walking the journey and I would say to this caller. You know it's great that you have been honest enough to turn away from that, you responded to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and you confess that to your wife. Secondly, I think you're moving in the right direction when you say we we are going to counseling or leisure getting ready to go to counseling. I think you have to acknowledge that what she her response is a very normal response. It is deeply painful for wife when she discovered whether she discovers it herself or whether he reveals it to her. It's deeply painful to her that he's been involved in pornography because in her heart.

She's asking why does he have to turn to some unreal world rather than in the real world and relate to me so very very painful and it will take time for her to process her emotions, but if she sees your heart is to follow God. You share this with her because you want to do what is right and she will, I think she will especially she's a believer and she will come to forgive you eventually don't press the issue. Don't preach to you don't say well you know you gotta forgive me. The Bible says you gotta forgive none on you let God work in the heart and bring her to forgiveness and in the time when she's ready to do that but accounts are can and likely will be very very helpful to both of you as you process this together. It will take time for healing that there is healing. There's healing. On the other side of what you've gone through so you keep your heart beating with God's heart and know that God has forgiven you already when we confess our sins, God is forgiving is because Christ is paid for all of our sins.

And so as a forgiven person ask him now to show you how to express love and understanding to your wife if she processes these emotions in your own heart and to let that run its course with let her process it in her in her own time. I think what you're saying is a lot of men and this goes the other way to.

There are women who have been hooked on pornography as well. But in this situation. Here's a husband. I think that the thing that I hear from callers on this program. Time and time again is I rushed my wife not let her feel everything it feels so bad when I don't feel you know that the acceptance and the love from her talk talk about that, what, how long should it take quote unquote Chris I don't think there's a specific time it is different with different people.

But I do think talking about it and this is why cancer can be helpful to her letting her share in his presence in the presence of a counselor. Her feelings her her her pain right now she's not talking to Lisa. Sounds like she's not talking Jesus withdrawn. She so hurt, but in the counseling office where it's safe she can begin to share and talk her way through that and that's the process you have to share the hurt and the pain and she she can do that more readily typically in the counselor's office with him.

Then with him alone so there's no specific time frame work Chris. It's a process.

But if you're in the process you're moving in the right direction. Well, let's take a call from a listener who responded to a previous program.

This is our March dear Gary broadcast and I want you to hear the emotion, the passion for the topic that caused her to call you will hear why right now all I am driving and I had to pull over because I just heard the conversation about women who are in abusive marriages. I have definite sensitivities to this not because I wouldn't because we can and I and our church want through with my sister a horrific abusive situation. Caregivers like you guys need to know that this isn't just I love you but I'm going to go live with my mom for a while until you get straightened out. Basically because many of them will damage the woman physically take away her children and I don't just mean legally man that departmental nation of all five children turned into poverty. He stalked her. It is not safe to just assume that a woman can say hey I love you but we need to separate while you get help because abusive narcissistic abuser will not get help because it destroys his ability to have benefits for himself and the saying that women don't go in for divorce.

A lot of times because they don't want to be the one that breaks the marriage. I'm sorry abusive man breaks the bow, you cannot have an abusive relationship work. He has not broken at least one of the valves made to this woman, a woman anything is not breaking the marriage. Marriage was already broken. Like I said, this is a really hot topic for me and we went through tragedy because of the abusiveness.

So thank you for taking my call. God bless you by Chris I am really grateful that this this lady took the time to stop driving to share what she just here because what she says is true, and apparently she interpreted what I said is that there's no place for wife to divorce her husband Mike, my comment was that you get to the place where you say to that of the that abusive husband.

I can't stay here and I'm not going to help you continue to do what you're doing to me and the children something to move out and I'm challenging you to get get help if you do not women to join you in marriage counseling. But what she's pointing out is that there are husbands who are not going to change. You do not change or do not get counseling and and therefore there comes a place where divorce is inevitable so that I fully agree with what she said a woman should not stay in a marriage where she is being physically and verbally abuse and the children are being heard and damaged by the whole thing is a loving act to move out of that situation. So, you know, divorce is never God's intention, but the divorce is sometimes inevitable because one person cannot keep the marriage together, and the skin of the lesser of the two situations is to get out of the situation. I'm sure that there there are many others who identify with what is.

The scholar has shared today and I'm certainly apathetic with what she's saying as well. Before we get to our midpoint break your Gary just a quick question about where you live in a caller call and ask a question I'll I'm living in the north and in the state.

My wife wants to live in the south it's a relatively new marriage.

How do you deal with a geography struggle like that she wants to live.

One place I want to live another you should always move to the south. I live in North Carolina okay well that that is that is sometimes question that arises in a marriage, especially in the early years of the marriage when you know maybe you lost a job and it's up now.

Okay, we could go anywhere with this. Where would like on the job.

Or maybe there's family in one place and not another place. So yeah, I think this is a common disagreement and I think it's process like any disagreement you listen to the other person.

You know what are their reasons for wanting to move to another place. What are your reasons for wanting to stay where you are somewhere else and be empathetic with each other rather than domineering and trying to demand will go do it my way and I think sometimes a husband because of the leadership thing you know that husbands the head of the wife he can pull that card out and so it will do what I say. You know how to submit to me well you know that's submission is is not a female word. It's a Christian word. We submit to each other what we want is what is God's plan for us. So I think it would involve praying about it and asking God for direction and also talking to other people who may have made a move in the direction that the in either direction or maybe a couple in the church is going through this themselves and struggle with it. Don't notice limited to the two of you find out everything you can about the other place in one of the possibles of jobs you know sometimes people move based on the job because I can't get a job where they are but they can get a job somewhere else. So a lot of factors there is no easy answer to it, but ultimately obviously you have to you have to make a decision so you know it's trying to be loving to each other. Understanding of each other and hearing each other's reasons, and if it's a family thing like the mother the mother of the bride or mother of the husband and father are elderly and another to be around much longer. It appears you really want to be closer to them so they can help them minister that that need that needs to have some weight because the Bible says we are to honor our parents and doesn't always mean we have to live close to them. To be sure there's nobody else there that can take care of them that that's a pretty heavy weight on that maybe we all do that, at least for these next few years while they're in the situation but hopefully if he if we generally love each other and were praying and asking God to bring us to a place of peace about. This would get there. This is Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, New York Times best-selling author of "The 5 Love Languages" . If you enjoy our program.

This website five love languages.com area find our featured resource. The book by York Moran Dr. Gary Chapman seen, known, loved five truths about God and your love language is got a five love languages.com to find out more.

You can also your podcast of today's program, download the love nudge app and a whole lot more just five love languages.com or Gary. Here's a question about sex in marriage and the disappointment of a wife for years and now not very disturbing. Owning can't count any better.

I turned do not make it Will Be Five Years without That.

I Want to Take Any Sheet on Your Credit, Woman ;-) Because We Are Sexual Themes Take and Not Needing Quite Well and You Did Not Address the Meet of a Woman in Your Book Very Well and Now.

Thank You.

Appreciate This Call and the Openness with Which She Shares This Is the Reality Is, of Course, God Made Us Male and Female God Instituted Marriage and Relating to Each Other in the Physical World and the Sexual World Is a Part of God's Plan since That Simple.

Yes, There Are Situations Where There Are Diseases That Would Hinder a Person from Having What Will Become What We Would Call Normal Sexual Relationships, but Apparently Here. That's Not a Problem. It's Something That's Going on inside of Him Now the Question If I Were His Counselor.

The Question I Will Be Looking for Is Why, Because This Is Not Natural. There's Something Going on, Physically, Emotionally, Something Going on Here inside of Him That Brings into This Decision Whether or Not He's Involved in with Other People Are Involved with Porn or Some Funding Sexual Release Somewhere Else and That's Always a Possibility, but Getting to the Root of That Would Be the First Day up in the Counseling Process As to Why He Has Made This Decision Why He Is Withdrawn from This Part of the Marriage and Not Knowing What That Is. Course I Can't Do Couldn't Deal with That but That That's the Key. And I'm Glad to Hear That Both of You Are in Counseling. Sounds like You Are in Counseling Individually and That's Probably What's Needed Right Now Because You Need Help Someone to Walk Alongside You While You're Dealing with This Reality and He Needs a Counselor That Will Help Him Discover What's Going on. What Brought Him to This Place Because It Certainly Not Not Natural, Let Alone Spiritual. This Decision Is Made. I Would Hope in the Process of Counseling. He Will Ultimately Reveal in the Country and Help Them Discover What's Going on There Bought into This Decision Because We Can Change Decisions We Made and We Can Choose to Make a Godly Decision in a Marriage Just As We May Choose to Make a Decision That's Not Pleasing with God.

So I'm Empathetic Don't Know That There's a Quick Answer to This but I Do Think You're Moving in the Right Direction, but Both of You Getting Counseling. You Know What I like about You Gary Because You Did Not Respond to Her Last Comment and Him and Make This about You.

Let Me Just Talk about This Ferment If She Had Said the Same Thing to Me Favor, You Wrote Something You and Saying about That Is Out Of the Well. On Page 34 Is That This and Get Defensive about It. But She Said from Her Perspective. You Really Have Addressed Women and and Sex and You and the Desire for It and I Get What She's Saying. I Don't Know She's Saying That Necessarily about Only about You, but the Church. The Church Really Hasn't Talked a Whole Lot about That Either.

Well, I Think You're Probably Right.

We Haven't Talked A Lot about the Whole Sexual Area Anyway in the Church except We Do Preach Fidelity in the Marriage. We Should Because That's the Biblical Pattern, but We Don't Always Talk about the Practical Issues in This Many Women Are Different Sexualities Different between Men and Women, but Women Have a Desire for Sex. Assuming That They Feel Loved and I Don't Feel Loved by Fees. If These Abusing Her and All That Sort of Thing. She's Not. She's She Doesn't Want to Be Intimate with Him Because Not Just a Physical Thing with the Wife Has Far More to Do with Her Emotions. She Feels Love Mother and Husband. She Wants to Be Intimate with Him Physically If She Doesn't Feel Loved by Him and Read Appeals Abused by Him and Then She She Doesn't Have the Desire with Him. Shiva Still Wants to Have That Kind of Intimate Relationship, but but Not If He's Going to Treat Me That Way. So Understanding Male and Female Differences. It's a Struggle That Many Couples Have before They Find What I Call Mutual Satisfaction in the Marriage and That's What God Wants Is That It Be a Mutually Loving, Supportive, Caring Relationship That's Expressed Physically As Well As Emotionally Appreciate All Your Calls and Your Questions to the Things That These Honest Open Authentic Questions Open up with the Conversation. It Is Just Really Really Good to Hear the of the Struggles That There Are Answers out There and That God Really Cares about What You're Going through.

If You Want to Call Is 866424 Gary, We'd Love to Entertain Your Question You Agree with Dr. Chapman Disagree or There's Just Something That's Bubbling up in Your Heart Today That You Want to Express 186-6424 Gary Back to Another Single Caller and Hear about Her Situation with Dating and Really I Doubt I Would Really like Lack of Taking Care Of Them Together but No Care. I Don't Know If It Right Me Dating in Our Culture Is for the Purpose of Getting to Know Each Other so That We Can Make a Wise Decision As to Whether We Would Be a Team Together in Marriage, and, Ultimately, Is This God's Plan for Us That We Should Be Married and Nothing Wrong with Breaking up a Dating Relationship for Any Number of Reasons Is Matter Fact, Most People Do Go through More Than One Dating Relationship before They Get Married and It Can Be Little Things Big Things. One of Course Is Spirituality.

Are We Marching to the Beat of the Same Driver and If Were Not in Once Following Jesus and Once Following Something Else.

That Alone May Lead Us to Break up the Relationship Because the Scriptures Pretty Clear about That. But This Is a Different Issue Here. This Is a Mental Dish Issue Bipolar Is Him Is Pretty Well Treated with Certain Medications. If He Were a Piece under a Doctor's Care or Not, but Medication Can Really Really Help with a Bipolar Person. If He's Not Willing, and That Attitude Is Use. I Reach out and Find That Kind of Help That May Certainly Be a Red Flag Saying This Is Not for Me. I Will Be with the Person Who's Not Willing to Deal with the Reality That That's in His Life. So I Think Obviously the Caller Is Expressing a Concern.

Should I Stay in This Relationship. Should I Back off until He Take Some Steps to Deal with This and Then Maybe Reengage, but I Think I Think You Can Ignore His. Apparently His Inactivity in Terms of Taking Care of Himself and Dealing Specifically with a Bipolar Situation. So Your Obvious No One Can Tell You What You Should Do the Breakup or Not Breakup but It Is a Decision. I Think That You Can You Will Come to As You Ask God for Direction about This. Obviously You Care about Them or You Would Not Even Be Dating You Have Some Interest in His You Said He's a Good Man. He Has a Good Heart yet, but I Do Think You May Be in a Position He May Be Willing to Listen to You When You Say to Him You Know You.

For Example, It Is Not All Medication and Hasn't Seen a Doctor with Regard to This to Really Emphasize and Push on That Issue.

If He's Unwilling to Do That Is Unwilling to Respond to Your Good Intentions of Helping Him.

That Again Is a Red Flag Saying Well He's Not Going to Listen to You Even When You're Trying to Help Them. And Certainly You Would Want to Be Linked up with Him for a Lifetime. So I Think Your Concern Is Legitimate, and I Think My My Suggestion Would Be to Press the Issue with Him and If He's Not Willing to Do That, Then It's Probably Time for You to Back off and the Thing That I Love about Her Call Is That She Didn't Spike This You Know She Didn't Say Well I'm Sure Will Get Better down the Road.

I'm Sure It's All Going to Work out Okay. No, As You Said the Red Flag When That Comes up. Listen to It, Address It, Deal with It Because It Doesn't Just Go Away down the Road. I Think She's Picking up Something Really Agree Gary, Let's Hear from One More Single Caller and Singles. Thank You for Asking Some Great Questions Here Today If You'd like to Join Us.

You're Single, You Have a Question, 186-6424 Gary Is Our Number. You Can Leave That for Future Broadcast 186-6424 Gary Now What Will Gary Say to This Question. I Want to Know How You Want Me I Owe Very Married My Way of Honoring God That I'm 38 Years Now and I Relationship and I'll Wait Everything. I Was a Teenager My Parents Recently Was That Want to Be in Relationship and What Time in My Life. Want Me to Believe That One Guy Had Don't Want to Hire My Life but I Don't Want to Become High High Standard and I Am Now Actually Go Want to Make Sure I Am Not Disregarding My Own Feelings and Balance My Question for You. How Can I Live My Life. I Am Actually Believing God Is More Than Enough and That Better Now the Temple of Pain down Here on the Know How I Know That When One Day Going past.

How Many Boyfriends I Have, However, Inherent Feel like Marriage May Never Company. I Don't Know What or How to Doubt My Greatly Appreciate Now That It Will Allow the Thinking Well You Can Chris with This Caller.

All of Us Can Because by Nature Most of Us Desire to Be Married and God Made Us That Way. And There's Nothing Wrong with It and When It Doesn't Happen over the First 38 Years and Then You're in a Dating Relationship and You Feel like Oh This Money.

This May Lead to Marriage. This Might Be the Person and Then They Reject You. It's Extremely Painful Because at That Age You're Thinking This This This This May Be It. You Know, and to Be Rejected by the Hope That Was There, the Light That You Saw in the Future for the Future and Then to Have That Light Turned off. It's a Pretty Dark Time for Her, but I Am Really Grateful to Hear the Positive Things She Said That She's Honoring. She Wants to Honor God and She She Wants God's Will. She's Acknowledging Her Pain and She Still Hoping That God Has Someone for Her out There in Her Life but She Also Recognizes That That's Not the Most Important Thing in Life and She's Committed to the Most Important Thing and That Is Following God and Serving God and Nothing. I Think What I Would Say Is Is Nothing Wrong with Feeling Hurt Feeling Pain Whatever Emotions That Come with Your Reject the Rejection You've Experienced. We Don't Choose Our Emotions, Our Emotions Come Based on the Circumstances around Us. The Things That We Encounter and We Don't We Don't Necessarily Change Our Emotions Are Just There, but We Don't Want to Let Those Emotions Control Us and Lead Us.

For Example, to Withdraw and Not to Participate with Other People Because We Feel Are so Hurt Is That We Control Our Behavior. So Even Though Your Your down You're Feeling Sad about What's Happened Don't Withdraw from Your Involvement with Other People in the Church Are at Your Job Wherever You Encounter People Continue to Stay Involved with Them Because It's in the Normal Flow of Life That We Normally Meet the Person That Were Going to Marry If Indeed God's Plan Is for Us to Marry. I Would Say This. Also, When Were down, and When We Are Alone and When We Feel Lonesome or Feel Maybe Feel Rejected. One of the Best Things We Can Do Is to Find a Place of Service to Other People, Life's Greatest Meaning Is Found in Serving Others. So If You're Not Already Involved in Some Local Ministry That Includes Serving Other People in Whatever Way I Would Encourage You to Seek out the Place of Service Because You're Going to Find Great Satisfaction in Serving Other People in the Name of Jesus. And in That Process of Following Him and Investing Your Life and Something That's Worthwhile When You Get Married or What You Don't Get Married, You Will Come to the End of the Journey and Say Man I'm Glad I Invested My Life That Way and If God's Plan Is for You to Get Married Somewhere in That Journey Alone. There, God Will Bring That Person in Your Life. I Really Believe That I'm Struck by the Second Caller to the Program Was the Rim of the Man Who Said I'm I'm Really Not Interested in Dating and I Have Had Things in the past and I I'm Just Moving on with My Life and My Okay and Here Is a Person Who Said I've I've Gone 38 Years I've Made This Commitment to God to Live in Purity and I'm Feeling I'm Really Struggling with This and You Know That the Differences in Those Two Different Calls. But Her Call. I Really Think What She's Asking Is How I Have Faith That God Really Is. For Me That He Really Doesn't See Me Nobody Love Me, Can I Believe. While I Have the Hurt in the Struggle inside and That's I Think Is Really the Definition of Faith Are You Going to Believe That God Really Is for You and Has Your Best Interests at Heart, and Chris, It's Not God's Plan for Every Single Person to Get Married. It Is the Plan for Most People to Get Married. But I Think This Singleness Is a Minister That Looks and There Are Many Missionaries Who Have Served Their Whole Life on the Mission Field in Another Country Who Never Got Married, but He Had a Tremendous Impact for God by Touching the Lives of People I Served and and That That's Far More Important to Be Married and Not to Be Married and Even Marriage.

We Find Our Greatest Would Find Our Greatest Satisfaction, Not Simply in Being Married, but in Helping Each Other Serve God You Have Do What God Has for Us in Our Lives and Were There to Encourage Each Other and Help Each Other in the Process so Whether Were Single or Married Life's Deepest Satisfaction Is Found in Walking with God and Serving Other People As God Leads Us Really Good Word for All of Our Listeners.

Single or Married Today.

Again, Thank You for Your Calls.

I Wonder Gary As We Are Hurtling Quickly toward Easter.

If You Have a Word for Those Who Are Listening Today, Especially with All the Pandemic and the Changes in the Struggles We've Gone through What You Looking Forward to Next Weekend. Chris Is Very Interesting That in the Midst of the Pandemic. Easter Celebrations Are Probably Going to Be Quite Different from What They Have Been in the past, by Which I Mean Normally It Is the Largest Attendance at a Church on Easter Sunday People to Go to Church Only Once a Year. He Will Go on Easter Sunday, and Christmas. Christmas Ended and I Think I Many Places. That's Not Only True This Year Because Churches Are Not Totally Open to Just Fill the Place Most of Them Can Accommodate Only a Minimal Crowd and and Still Keep the Social Distance and so Forth.

But You Know Whether We Whether We Are Able to Gather in a Meeting Place with Other Christians to Celebrate the Resurrection of Our Lord. Whether It's in Our Own Personal Journey of the Week We Kept of Easter We Will Use This Week to Reflect on the the Life of Jesus and How He Poured out His Life in Serving Others and Then the Greatest Sacrifice.

He Gave on the Cross When He Died for Our Sins so That God Could Forgive Us and Still Be a Holy God Because His Own Son. He Was Perfect Paid the Ultimate Sacrifice for Us and Then the Glorious Resurrection That He Is Not Simply I Did Religiously Is the Living God, Who Lived among Us Who Died of Physical Death.

He Was Raised with the Resurrection Body Similar to the Body.

We're Going to Have When We Are Resurrected with Him and so We Celebrate That Because There's Nothing More Satisfying Than to Know God in a Personal Way and to Know That When This Life Is over. Whatever We Have We Got to Spend Eternity with God. So Whether Were Able to Gather with Others, or Simply Perhaps What's on the Television or Own Line As Far As Far As the Celebration Part of Worship and Let Our Hearts Be Drawn to the Reality That This Life Is Not All and Then beyond That There Is Life and Not Simply Life, but Life That We Have Not Even Imagine How Great It and If That Stirs Something in You and You Have a Comment or a Question about the Program One More Time. 186-6424 Gary Is the Number If You'd like to Call Us Today Would Love to Hear from You. And Don't Forget Our Featured Resource Book but Asked Chapman in New York More Seen Known Love Five Truths about God and Your Love Language Find it@ 5lovelanguages.com and next week, author Dan Darling will take us on a guided tour of the people who populate the story of Easter. Don't miss that one day before Easter Sunday. While a big thank you to our production team Steve Weck and Janice Todd.

Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman is a production at Moody radio in Chicago in association with Moody publishers ministry at Moody Bible Institute. Thanks for listening


Get The Truth Mobile App and Listen to your Favorite Station Anytime