Today's message is about the power of words to shape our lives, but first I want to give the church an update on our response to the disaster that we are seeing in Western North Carolina. And you know this already, the tragedy is certainly not over. There are people who are out of communication right now and their condition is unknown.
The loss that some have suffered cannot ever be replaced. You know that and our prayers are much needed for the people of that area. But what you might not be as aware of is how our church and churches in the area have come together to respond and to be a demonstration of God's hope and love in a very difficult time.
Perhaps your campus pastor already mentioned this, but you know I think back to last weekend when Pastor Andrew put out the call, hey don't come to services empty handed, right? Like bring some water, bring some non-perishable food items, come with something that we will donate. I kind of just anticipated that people would maybe show up a family with like maybe a case of water, maybe if they were really going all out then each person in the family member would have like a bag of groceries of food to donate. But what we saw is people were coming in and opening up their trunks and their trunk was just filled with things that they were bringing to donate. Literally one guy went to a couple different stores and got pallets of water to bring. Our High Point campus, you guys would be so proud of your campus pastor, Pastor Travis, when he rode that U-Haul into Regional, pulled it in full of the supplies you had filled.
I mean that thing, the wheels were bent like this, the headlights were pointing up in the air, it was so weighed down with goods. Literally when the first truck driver came to pick up the trailer, he said, hey I can't get this on the road, it's too heavy, it's 20,000 pounds overweight. Well when you pack that thing full, 200 volunteers from Mercy Hills spent last Sunday and Monday packing these trailers full to go and deliver. We sent three tractor and trailers full of supplies to Western North Carolina last Monday. And then Tuesday we heard from our partnering organization, North Carolina Baptist on Mission.
We heard that there were still at that time 16 counties in North Carolina that did not have any relief organization present working among them. And so we said, we've got to mobilize. And so there were 30 guys within less than 24 hours that said, hey I am ready, I've got a truck, I've got a 4x4, I've got chainsaws and I am ready to go. And we mobilized them to go to some of the harder areas to kind of scope out. And I see some of you husbands now nudging your wife saying, see I know I need that chainsaw, right?
Put it to good use, I just love that culture. Over 100 volunteers have gone out to be on a disaster relief team, to go to the mountains, to the hard places to help those. I was talking this morning with one of our team leaders who's in Waynesville, from Mercy Hill went to Waynesville, went to partner with our church plant out that way. And I was like, hey, how's it going? And he said, yesterday we were at work at this lady's house and she has a two story house. And she was able to get some of her possessions up to the second floor and those were fine, but everything in the bottom floor is absolutely destroyed. And so we were just cleaning out, taking it out, ripping up the carpet. And we were working and she wasn't home when we started the work, but the homeowner came and when she saw our team, your team church, there working and helping, she just started weeping.
I mean, heavy emotions to see the loss of things that you have suffered, but also just to see the support of people. And she was crying for several minutes. And one of our team members, he went over and he put his arm around her and just kind of hugged her. And a few minutes later, she composed herself.
She looked up, she goes, I don't even know you. And so it's pretty funny, but just overwhelmed with gratitude. And so I am just so proud that that's who we are as a church. And that's who other churches, they said, hey, we're making collections. Can we consolidate? Can we send our supplies with you?
Yes, absolutely. It's just so encouraging to be a part of the faith family and to see how when there is a need, we step up and we step in. We go to the hurting and the hard places because we know that is what Christ has done for us.
And so I'm proud to be part of Mercy Hill and proud to be part of the way that you are responding to this effort. Well, we're going to continue in our series in the book of Proverbs called By God's Design. It's a series where we are learning how God's wisdom really helps us, leads us to live a life of flourishing. Some people say, you know, we have this phrase, this motto in our own culture that when we when we make mistakes, when we do something kind of silly, something, you know, just made a bad decision, whatever it was, we say, well, you live and learn.
Right. Sometimes you just you just live and learn. Well, the book of Proverbs offers us the opportunity to learn first and then live a flourishing life. Like I can remember my dad growing up telling me, hey, son, if you can just learn from my mistakes, you don't have to repeat them yourself, you'll be ahead of the game. And the book of Proverbs is like that. It's like giving us this wise counsel to say, hey, hey, learn and then go and live a flourishing life.
Learn God's design for life and live from that and your life will go so much better. Today, we're looking at how wise words lead to flourishing and words matter. You've probably heard some of the statistics around this stuff. They say that, hey, the average person speaks like 700 times a day. The average guy uses 7000 words and the average woman uses 20000 words in a day. I mean, who actually could count that right? Like, who knows if that's actually accurate? I have no idea how anyone could ever sit there and just count all those words.
So so let's just kind of imagine right that those words are those stats are inflated. And instead of us speaking 700 times a day, we speak half that right. Three hundred and fifty times.
Let's go conservative. I don't know many other things that I do. Three hundred and fifty times every day. So words matter. Words are important and words have the power to shape our lives. You know, words shape culture. Words create identity. We see that in things like the military, right?
The military hat. They have their own lingo, their own language, even the way they they talk about time. If you've ever been a baseball player around a baseball team, they have their own language and their own culture.
Businesses have their own language and culture. If you leave today and you go out, somebody opens the door for you and you say thank you. And they respond, my pleasure.
They've probably worked at Chick-fil-A. Right. Language creates culture. You know, I have the privilege and the joy of parenting our first middle schooler.
I have three boys and they're all that gen alpha generation. And we sit around the table and my wife and I are totally confused as to what's coming out of their mouths. I mean, middle school has its language of its own, right? Like they say things like Skibbity Rizzler, Ohio. I'm like, yeah, what? I'm like, OK, you took the name of a state and you made it a slang? Like what the sigma, right?
That's that's what they should be called the sigma generation. I hear all the time. I have no clue what they mean. I don't understand it. And I know you don't understand it. Don't even try because there's not definitions for these things. Look it up.
There are no definitions. And I know parents, we can get all bothered by how silly these words sound. But may I remind you that some of us were from the generation that said things like word. I mean, really, how uncreative and unintelligent is that to just say word. Right. Or we'd say things like duh. As if.
What up, dog? I mean, we couldn't even string together two syllables in our slang. Right. And that's kind of the point of slang is it's creating this generational identity. And the older generation is always looking at the younger generation saying like their words don't make sense. And but that's the point.
Right. They're shaping their identity. They're shaping their culture. Words shape a lot of things. You know, the biggest moments of our lives are shaped by words. How exciting it is for a parent to hear their child's first word.
Mama, dada. Right. One of our staff members swears that the first word their child uttered was weekender.
I don't know if that's true or not. But there's moments of our lives, moments of exhilaration that are marked by words like that time that you look someone in the eyes. And for the very first time, you said, I love you. Or standing before friends and family and saying, I do. Maybe it's words that you read on a page, maybe an email or a letter that said you've been accepted. Or we'd like to offer you the position of those words mark the big moments of our lives, even moments of sadness.
Like when we walk into a room and a loved one is lying on the bed completely silent. And we'll never hear those words from their mouth again. Our deepest memories are shaped by words. You want to be friends?
I'm so proud of you. Hey, I'm sorry. Maybe it's negative words that have shaped you.
Words like lazy or slacker. Or maybe it's the words that you never heard said they have left a mark that cannot be erased. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
I'm glad I don't hear that phrase said as much anymore, because it is so not true. Bones will heal a lot faster than the wounds created by words. Few years ago in L.A. County, there was a suicide note and the all that was written on the note was they said. Proverbs 18 21 says death and life are in the power of the tongue. See, words not only provide information, words are formational. Both the words we speak and the words we hear. And so the big idea of today's message is that words have the power to shape our lives. Words have the power to shape our lives. The Proverbs is all about how wisdom, life according to God's design, leads to flourishing and wise words lead to flourishing, whereas foolish words lead to destruction.
So if you want to live a flourishing life, let us consider the words we say and the words we hear. I want us to focus on Proverbs chapter 15. There's four short verses that give us a helpful picture to understand the power of words to shape our lives. Proverbs 15, beginning in verse one, reads this. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. So verse one shows us that our words either provoke or restore, right? A soft answer can de-escalate tension.
It can turn away wrath. This could be a calm tone. It could be a word of understanding. Hey, I see this is really important to you.
It could be a word of invitation. Hey, do you mind explaining your perspective? Help me see this from your point of view. Rather than responding to one passive aggressive, smart remark with another smart, sarcastic remark. I mean, how many times have I fallen into that cycle?
It's just a downward spiral of one verbal attack after another verbal counterattack. Isn't it amazing how just a word or phrase can take all of our emotions hostage? Have you ever received the message?
We need to talk. And from the moment you receive that message, you're like, you can't concentrate on anything else until you know what it is they want to talk to you about. When reading Proverbs, we soon feel like, OK, now Proverbs is reading us. I mean, we've all been in a tense situation, in a relationship, a tense conversation, perhaps. And if we could just change the way we respond, we know it would change our situation. But it's so hard, right? I think the point that Proverbs is trying to get us to see is that if you change your words, you can change your life, even more than just the momentary situation. Change your words, you change your life.
I know this from personal experience. So when I was in high school, I had some of just the wittiest friends on the planet. I was the least wittiest among them. And at that time in my life, I was pretty scared of girls, so I didn't talk to them. And so I just talked with my guy friends all the time. And we use such sarcastic language with one. And I don't know what it is about guys, but sarcasm is like a love language with guys, right? And so I became very proficient in my use of sarcasm. Well, then I get to college and I start dating Lindsay, who is now my wife. And for some reason, she did not appreciate my gift of sarcasm.
I don't know what it is. Well, then I learned that sarcasm literally means cutting flesh. Sarx is a Greek word for flesh and chasm, cut, divide, cutting flesh. And that's exactly what my words were doing to Lindsay. They were sharp, they cut, they hurt. Proverbs 12 18 describes rash words as sword thrust. Rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. You know, we could say, oh, I was just kidding, right? We could say, hey, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it. We can try to take our words back.
And you can also draw a sword out, but the wound is still going to be there. You know, if I had continued with my sarcastic words, it's likely it would have ended our relationship. So change your words, you change your life. Consider this, okay?
In this series, we have studied topics like sex, work, and money. And with every one of these, we've seen that the way you handle them, it puts you on a path towards a destination, right? Either a destination of flourishing or a destination of destruction. Over and over again, Proverbs uses this language of path. Wisdom is a path. Foolishness is a path. The choices that we make put us on a path that lead us in a direction. Well, our words put us on a path. We won't look at this topic through this series in Proverbs, but Proverbs does have a lot to say about friendship, and it's the same way with friendship, right? Our friends shape our direction. You've probably heard this saying before that, hey, show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. I think we could say words are the same way. Let me hear your words, and I'll show you, I'll tell you your future. If your words are characterized by negativity and complaining, you are on a path, and that path will not lead you to joy and contentment. When we think about how money will impact our future and the condition of our life all the time, we think about how work will impact our future and the condition of our life all the time, why do we not think about how words will impact our future and the condition of our life? In the book of Proverbs, there are 90 proverbs counseling us how to speak.
That's more than there are proverbs on sex, more than there are on money, and more than there are on work. You know, the more years that I've been married and the more that I've seen in other people's marriages, I really do think that the best advice my wife and I received before we got married was that a wise woman counseled my wife that once we were married to never speak down about me in front of others. And we've both tried to heed that advice.
We haven't gotten that perfect, but I trust that we've done it faithfully. We try not to speak down about each other in front of the presence of other people. Now trust me, there are days when my wife could go to work and she could say some very negative things that are also very true things about me. And if she did, I imagine that her coworkers would respond to her with great sympathy, right? But she chooses not to. I don't know how she does it, right? There's probably days where she goes to work and people say, how's Brian?
And she says, he's alive, right? That's about the only good thing she could say in the moment. But she restrains herself from saying bad things and it has been a tremendous blessing to our marriage because how we talk about our marriage shapes our marriage.
Now, caveat here, okay? This does not mean that you should never speak truthfully about concerns you have in your marriage, especially in the counsel of Christian friends. And certainly if your spouse is abusing you, you need to share that with someone.
You need to ask a friend, hey, will you sit with me while I call this number, get help? But don't make the topic at work about the annoyances of your spouse, about how they clip their toenails or whatever it is, right? If you think I'm over speaking about the power of words to shape your life because I know I'm using a lot of personal examples here. The book of James in the New Testament gives us two vivid illustrations to illustrate the same point. The first is of a horse, okay? So think of a horse, get a horse in your mind, right?
A mighty, powerful creature. Yet the book of James says that you can put a small bit in its mouth and you determine the destination of that horse. The other image is of a ship.
Think of a massive ship out on the vast ocean. Yet it is only the small part, the rudder of that ship that determines its destination. See, our tongues are small members of our bodies, but how we talk shape our lives. And so our words need to be guarded by wisdom. Proverbs 15 two says the mouths of fools pour out folly.
It's just this unrestrained flow, no filter, nothing guarding the words coming out of a fool. Now there's something very profound in this verse that Jesus also talked about and that is that what pours out of the mouth comes from inside, right? So the fool's mouth spews out folly because folly is inside the fool. The way that Jesus put it is he said that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. I want to read to you Jesus' own words in Luke chapter six verse 45. Jesus said the good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good.
And the evil person out of the evil treasure produces evil. For out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaks. Now, we don't like to admit that, that our words are a mirror, a reflection of our hearts. But I think we understand it intuitively because we have these phrases in our culture like, I'm going to give them a piece of my mind, right?
Now, we're not talking about lobbing off a brain lobe and handing it to someone. No, we're talking about using words that are just unfiltered, raw emotions and feelings. Another phrase is a sober man's thoughts are a drunk man's words because nothing comes out of a drunk person that wasn't already in them.
So this is critical. What I've been trying to explain is that words have the power to shape your life. And so if you change your words, you can change your life, but you can't change your words without changing your heart. I understand that, hey, with willpower and discipline, you can break a habit of saying certain words, you can, but true and lasting change has to start in the heart.
This is why when we're talking about the power of words, we're talking about more than just vocabulary. Okay, my kids are at the age where they are constantly asking me, hey, dad, is this a bad word? Hey, dad, is that a bad word? Is this a bad word? Words like stupid or something. And a lot of times I'm like, well, it's not exactly a bad word, but we still shouldn't say it, right? We have to consider what a word is trying to accomplish. We have to consider its aim.
You can say yes, sir, to show respect and honor, or you can say yes, sir, with an attitude, to show the exact opposite. It would be so easy if God just said, okay, here's a list of words you can say and here's a list of words you can't say. But it's not that simple because words come from the heart and there's intent behind them. And that's why we need wisdom. Our words carry moral weight to them. Verse 3 of Proverbs 15 says, The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. The Bible tells us that we will give an account to God for every word we say, even just the careless, offhand words. Everyone we will give an account for. And so we may think to ourselves, okay, well, if I'm going to give an account to God for my words and I know that God says don't lie and truth is a big deal to God, hey, I'm just going to speak the truth.
Well, it's a little more complex than that, right? Because we can say truthful things in a way that's meant to harm others, right? Our words can be true, but our heart is really to put them down. There's a great illustration of this in Scripture in Numbers 13 where Moses has just led the people of Israel out of Egypt and they're on the edge of the promised land. And Moses sends out 12 spies to go in and scope out the land and they come back and two of the spies, Joshua and Caleb, say, hey, let's get our boots on, it's good to go, let's go. But the other 10, because of fear in their heart, say this, Numbers 13, 32, so they brought to the people of Israel a bad, other translations say evil report about the land which they had spied out, saying the land through which we have gone to spy it out is a land that devours its inhabitants and all the people that we saw in it are of great height. They were not incorrect in what they said. What they said was true. There were giants in the land.
There were warriors in the land that were ready to protect their territory. Yet God called their report evil because their intent, motivated out of fear in their own heart, was to turn people away from trusting in God. And so truth needs to be spoken, right? No compromise on truth. And truth needs to be spoken with love. Proverbs 15, 4, I think helps unlock this complexity for us. Proverbs 15, 4 says, a gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. Words shape our lives for better or worse. And it says here that a gentle tongue is a tree of life. That phrase, tree of life, it's meant to remind us of the Garden of Eden, which was the perfect environment for human flourishing.
And so this verse is saying, hey, our words can either lead towards a destination of flourishing or they can crush others. I want you to imagine a husband comes home from work after a long day and his wife is there helping one of their children with homework. The husband sees on the counter a couple open boxes of cereal and the wife quickly explains, hey, sorry, it was a busy day at work for me and I wasn't able to get to the store and the kids just kept asking when they could eat. They were hungry. And so I just told them, hey, just go ahead and make yourself cereal for dinner. And I'm sorry, I haven't made us anything yet. The husband responds, that's fine, I'll just make myself something. And he mutters some words as he's going through the pantry. He picks up the box of cereal, pours my bowl, opens the fridge. Where's the milk? Oh, sorry, little Johnny spilled it when he was making his and we're all out. And then the husband vents.
I work all day providing for this family and I can't even get a decent meal in my own house. It's uncomfortable, isn't it? It's crushing. It makes the wife feel like a failure. It makes the children feel like they're the problem, like they're some intruders in dad's kingdom. Well, imagine that same scene, but this time the husband responds, hey, that's fine, you made a good call not making dinner. I'm so glad you didn't do that with everything else you've got. And he pulls his wife aside and he looks her in the eyes and he says, the fact that I get to come home to you is evidence of God's grace in my life.
I never could have wished for anything more in this life than this. At this moment we're uncomfortable because it just turned into a Hallmark movie, I get that. But you get the point, right? One response breaks the spirit, the other is life giving. It's a tree of life, right?
The one is going to create hostility and resentment in the home, the other is going to bring flourishing. So here's the question. Would those closest to you describe your words as a tree of life? I know often my family wouldn't describe my words that way. In fact, nothing shows my need for grace more than my words. I say mean, hurtful, selfish, evil things because my heart is selfish and evil and I'm in need of grace. So if changing our words can change our lives and lead to flourishing, and if we must change our heart to change our words, the question remains, how do we change our hearts? Well, we change our hearts by hearing more powerful words.
And the good news is that you can be shaped by a better word. See, God also uses words to shape and create. God created the world by speaking. Jesus performed most of his miracles by speaking. And God's greatest, most powerful word to shape our lives is Jesus. Jesus is God in our language. God made flesh so that we can understand what is the heart of God.
What is his mind, will, his love? We see God's true nature in Jesus. And Jesus stood in your place. He was condemned not for his words, but for your words. So yes, you and I will give an account to God for every word that we say.
But the final judgment does not have to rest on that. If we hear God's word in faith, and we say, I'm trusting in what Jesus did on my behalf. I want to read to you an extended quote from Martin Luther, Protestant reformer. He wrote these words. God looked into chaos and spoke the hopeful words of creation. He looked into the chaos of our sin and declared us righteous in Christ.
If he had declared us lost, he would have spoken truth. But he spoke a greater truth by recreating us with his words. Luther goes on to write that others might tell me I am a failure, an idiot, a clown, evil, incompetent, vicious, dangerous, pathetic.
These words are not just descriptive. They have a certain power to make me these things in the eyes of others and even in my own eyes. But God speaks louder and his word is more powerful. You may call me a liar and you speak truth for I have lied. But if God declares me righteous, then my lies and your insult are not the final word. I have peace in my soul because God's word is real reality. Only as God speaks his word to me, and as I hear that word in faith, is my reality transformed.
The words of my enemies, both external and internal, might be powerful for a moment like a firework exploding against the night sky. But the word of the Lord is stronger, brighter, and lasts forever. That's good news, church. There is tremendous value in reminding ourselves the truths of the gospel.
That when you place your faith in Jesus, trusting in the sacrifice that he made, God looks at you and he doesn't see failure. He doesn't see sinner. He sees beloved child. He sees forgiven.
He sees made new. We can remind ourselves these things. It's good for us to remind ourselves these things because, you know, you talk to no one more than you talk to yourself. And so filling your mind with scripture by reading it, meditating it, praying it, it's God's word and it will transform your mind and heart. It is a good thing to do.
But it's not a lone project, okay? God created us for community. And we have the opportunity and the privilege to be able to hear others speak wise words of the gospel. How?
How can we do this? Well, speaking God's word to one another. Wise words that can happen in the home. It can happen in community group. It happens when we sing. I love queuing up my favorite worship songs on Spotify, put it in my headphones, going out working in the yard, listening to worship music. I love doing that.
It's good to do. It stirs my soul. But it doesn't come close to stirring my affections the way my affections are stirred when we gather as a church and I'm singing beside someone that I know is going through a really hard time. I see someone across the room that I know life is not easy, but they are engaged in worship. They are giving God their offering of praise.
That stirs my heart more than any noise canceling headphones could ever do. Sitting under the preaching of God's word, it's a means of God's grace that's designed to shape us. And lastly, joining together at the communion table, we are shaped by the words of the gospel. So at every campus, your campus pastor is going to come, service host is going to come and lead us in a time of community.
Community is a time for us to pause, to take inventory, to reflect on the condition of our own hearts. It's also a time to remember Christ's sacrifice on our behalf, that He stood in your place, taking the judgment that your sin deserves so that you might have life. He is the word that is the tree of life for us. So with every head bowed and every eye closed, perhaps today you realize through your words that your heart needs God's grace. If you would trust the gospel, then you can hear these words, that the gospel says by grace you are chosen. The gospel says by grace you are beloved. The gospel says by grace nothing can ever separate you from the love of God. Dear God, I pray for every person in the sound of my voice.
God, as we are honest about the condition of our hearts, we see that it's uglier than we really want to admit. But God, as we now come to your table, we also see that we are more loved than we ever dare to dream, think, or imagine. And so God, I pray that you would increase our faith in this moment. Stir our affections. May we put our trust fully in you. In Christ's name we pray, amen.
