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Marriage 101: Holding On

A New Beginning / Greg Laurie
The Truth Network Radio
February 16, 2022 3:00 am

Marriage 101: Holding On

A New Beginning / Greg Laurie

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February 16, 2022 3:00 am

Recipes are comprised of the ingredients and the instructions. Most of us know from personal experience that things can go sideways in either area, right? But it’s something special when everything works. Marriage is like that. When you combine two people who want to seek God, you fold in mercy, season with grace, and marinate in agape love, you’ve got the start of something beautiful. Today on A NEW BEGINNING, Pastor Greg Laurie helps us find God’s recipe and follow the instructions.

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A New Beginning is the daily half-hour program hosted by Greg Laurie, pastor of Harvest Christian Fellowship in Southern California. For over 30 years, Pastor Greg and Harvest Ministries have endeavored to know God and make Him known through media and large-scale evangelism. This podcast is supported by the generosity of our Harvest Partners.

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Today's episode of a new beginning is brought to you by harvest partners, helping people everywhere know God. Learn and while you're there, browse our library of free e-books designed to help you grow in your faith. In other words, it was because the way marriage to be vibrant and successful words are read more words from Genesis 224 a man shall leave his father and his mother leave his wife playing me doesn't mean you're stuck together holding on to one another Drive radiance the instruction was know from personal experience that things could go sideways.

But something special when everything works marriages like you can find two people want to seek God seen seasoned with grace and love the start of something beautiful today on a new beginning regularly helps us find God's recipe.

Let me take a quick begin. How many of you are single rate. You're a married quite a few very good by the way, just keep ahead of you that are single. Keep it up I'll look around so seriously look around you. What do I say do that because the best place to meet the right person is in church right that's what that's good, I met my wife and I saw her sitting out there is a look I was coping girls or something but I I sorry you know what I got to know we've been married 44 years. Okay so there you go. Five so.

Second question how many of your married Richard in your marriage. Quite a few of you are right. Okay now go look around. By the way, married, don't look around. Okay, now you who are single. Be honest. How many of you are single which you were married, Richard's okay November Cisco yeah okay how many of you are married, which were single again, but don't go to not do that. Just kidding. All right, so that's I love my messages. Marriage 101 marriage 101 were in Ephesians chapter 5 in there with me if you would look to say a few words to single so you don't feel left out. As you're looking around. Here's what you need to look for. Look for a godly person start their night and say look for a Christian because a lot of people will say there are Christians who are not Christians you know there might be some guys not a believer in the last few on you see why I will go out with an guy that is not a Christian all you Christian Road yeah hallelujah the way you said sounded icky. What's with you know I'm not alone glad whenever he will live through his teeth, and even some girls will try to look for some of the godly.

If you spent time with the person you'll know whether the rug godly person or not. One of the best places to go to church go to church and worship together and have a Bible study together and see if the render that all I don't really want to do that you know will okay you have a problem already.

Now let me take it a step further for someone who's even more godly than you more godly than you are.

So find contentment in your singleness before you go and try to find contentment as a married person but let me say that there is a certain flexibility in being a single give you a little homework assignment to look up later. First Corinthians 732 to 35. Paul talks about the mobility of a single in the session on unmarried man I can spend this time doing the Lords work, thinking about how to please him. But a married man can do that yes to think of how to please his wife.

That's not a criticism when you're married, you have to think about your wife you want to think about your husband. Then when you become parent, you have to think about your kids, you can't just run off and do whatever you want but when you're single you all the mobility to maybe two things, a married person could never do so if you're in that moment of singleness in your life. Embrace the moment be the godliness version of you that you can be serve the Lord to get free time you have and use it for his glory and I just but the Lord will just drop that person into your life and you may even know them right now. By the way son always someone you need is someone that you've known all the sudden the light goes on over your stupid head and you realize this is a great friend of mine that I have so much in common with and I enjoyed being with so much actually could potentially be my future spouse will start their all right so it's a good Ephesians now and this is a few words to married people for this reason a man will leave his father and mother, and in verse 31 be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and his church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular love his own wife as himself, and see that the wife respects her husband. So will stop right there.

And this is Paul talking about what happened in the book of Genesis, a husband and wife coming together leaving and cleaving just imagine for a moment what it would've been like to live in the Garden of Eden. I think sometimes we think of the Garden of Eden as is a place it's not real like Camelot toward Neverland or Atlanta, but the gardener beat was a real place in which God placed real people and they were brought together. It surpassed all the beautiful places on the planet today and was all alone and he gave names to all the animals but there was something missing and in fact it was someone who was missing and it was the civil Lord because the deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he woke up there was the says this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. He shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. So that is what is being talked about here others to operative words write these words down. If you would please to operative words and must constantly be in play for a marriage to be vibrant and successful and those words are leave and clean leave and clean verse five. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and Cleveland was life. The word clean means to glue or to cling so it's leave and clean. So what does that mean that means that first you leave father and mother, a son is still a son to his mom and dad, a daughter is still a daughter but when she marries a man a new home and started a new family is begun in our primary responsibility is to her husband's primary responsibility is to the wife to leave, but it's also clean. No, don't think of cleaver separating something that something coming together because the word clean means to adhere to or to stick or to be attached by some strong time. That doesn't mean you're stuck together major holding onto one another big difference by climbing up the side of a rock. I'm holding on why because I want to live.

That's why so in marriage is such a our stuck together whatever know someone said in a question that I read in the back room.

Should we stay together for the kids that you would expect me to say no. I'll tell you my answer absolutely, but I've a better reason stay together because God told you to stay together.

Number one, that's reason number two yeah kids is good reason number three. Your emotions will catch up with your commitment in time because in marriage you feel a lot of love at first and then it ebbs and flows ended up as an opposing the changes and you change and they change in life changes, but your honoring that commitment and then the love comes back emotionally stronger than it's ever been there. They don't feel it a day here or day there.

Whatever point is you keep that commitment throughout your life. So yes, just being together. Greg Laurie will augment counsel were receiving this message with the panel discussion on the issue of marriage.

Just a moment. Practical insight is just ahead. We really enjoy hearing when Pastor Greg's teaching and preaching touches lives faster. Greg and I came across your YouTube channel this past Friday I spent most of the weekend listening to your messages.

I'm now listening to your podcast and I can't tell you how great it is to have found you.

I love your messages and they are helping me daily with my understanding of Christ in the Bible.

I would say been a Christian for most my life, but I found it hard to let go of the world and my selfish desires 51 years of age. I'm finally understanding what it means to have a relationship with Christ.

I'm married. I have two children who just graduated from high school and I also desire for my wife and kids to dial into your messages because they needed to thank you so much for all your doing. It's a blessing to know that listeners are hearing these messages and God is using his word to touch individuals and families. However, Pastor Greg's studies impacted your life to let him know drop an email. Great that's great will recently Pastor Greg invited some friends up on stage with him to address questions from the congregation practical questions about marriage and the family discussion begun by Pastor Jason Powell okay there is a question that is really serious and it deals with affair.

I probably have at least 30 people of text and with an unfaithful spouse and this one says can I marriage of 25 years survive an affair.

Another of the same, says my spouse is continually cheating on me what should I do another one. My husband is constantly texting other girls and deleting them and lying about it.

I think he's having an affair.

Another one I just cut my husband having an affair over and over and over again and so what's the advice that you get to them. How do you affair proof your marriage is not easy. I think of a picture I saw years ago of the fire that hit the neighborhood in every home was burned to the ground except one, and so they went an interview. This guides that will widen your home burned on these is because I want beyond code when they said you put in this I put in the you know double insulation that I put in double glass like this other thing, and he did that you went beyond what was required when you're constantly feeding your marriage out working on your marriage loving your spouse that that's the best thing you can do. The best way to not go backwards is to go forward okay. But if there's a breakdown in communication. And if you get in the porn porn is like pouring gas on the fire okay yes it was a strong sexual desires. Because you're looking at pornography. Don't don't feedlots starve lust okay and the place to fulfill your sexual drive that is given you by God is in your marriage. The Bible says drink water from your own well so that that's what you need to do and keep it interesting.

Keep it vibrant. You know you're married, enjoy each other. Read the book of song of Solomon, for Pete's sake. I mean that's what it's about. It's it's in the safety of marriage that God will bless and yes God can bless sects, but okay coming back just for a moment on is jump in but on an affair, let me make a distinction between 21 question if there is been in faithfulness Cano marriage survive if the answer is yes.

Adultery is not just cause for divorce. It's also cause for forgiveness. You can forget. You should try to forgive but if he's a serial adulterer, let me change adopt that if she's a serial adulteress to a straight if they're doing it over and over. Okay, this is this is such a violation of the valves and actually Jesus himself. I'm never the guy to say get divorced but there are exceptions to that rule. And Jesus said that there is in faithfulness. You have grounds for divorce. So yes you can forgive them but you do have grounds and that there is serial adultery going on will you know that that person has sabotaged the marriage and you can forgive them. But there could come a point where you would just say I'm sorry that this is completely broken down so that does happen but you know the main thing the best way to affair proof your marriage is constantly be strengthening your marriage and doing things that keep your marriage strong and vibrant and then avoid influences like porn and stuff flirty. Don't be texting girls and guys.

You know you are to be very careful with that. In my wife is all my passwords to everything she will look at my taxi now. It should go work doing what tomorrow I associate you know should check my calendar so look at my meals I that's fine by me. I don't have anything to hide so if you have something to hide from your spouse. There's a problem right there. I would say so salient. Don't you have like this person who has been married for 25 years.

God can restore that Mary now takes forgiveness on the part of the person who was the victim and forgiveness. The choice is something that you have to do every day because the enemy will come and try to bring that years down the line, but you have to choose to forgive and I moment the Bible tells us to take our thoughts captive to the obedience of God. Now what is that mean, take our thoughts captive use Right then and there. Given over to God do the obedient thing which is forgive choose to forgive and this is a process and how to get through this and in the other person.

Don't rush the other person there, hurry up and get over this particular thing you got your the one who made the difference. You need to be as gracious as loving as possible. You need to give all access to this person and not only just talk about repentance, but you better show some fruits of repentance and get some accountability get some man if your man get some men in there that are that are holding you accountable your woman get some women that are holding you accountable and but we think you can get through this. You can get through this. We see many marriages at this particular church restored so I think we have done for me the MLS. More question and I've got a funny one was and let the girls answer. That's right, he says happy wife, happy life is not true. What makes a happy marriage tell us girls. I think that happiness is not what you're trying to gain back and just like the Bible tells us that if we lose our lives is when will find it in the same way marries if we give of ourselves to our spouses that when were able to find happiness. It's about serving each other you enter into a marriage and sometimes were disillusioned, thinking that marriage is about satisfying our needs but really, we are here to honor God and so as we walk in obedience to the Lord and we seek to serve our spouse automatically where we believe we are blessed by where benefited by hand naturally find satisfaction for filming and so happy wife and the wife denies herself some of the places it for tonight. The things we talk about when you talk about marriage are focusing on the negatives.

You know the divorce, the affairs, the hardship that being selfless and all of those things that the question lies happy wife happy life when he tell you there is no great God knew what he was doing when she brought she knew that it was not good to be alone. I think there's a great fear and hesitancy on the part of young people to make a commitment to marriage because we see so much in here so much destruction and devastation of divorce air true 50% are worse. There's 50% who are married and are currently married and are doing the right things and are enjoying the blessing of being married and Greg mentioned a few of the stats I read a few down and 75% of the data individuals who were married are healthier than the ones you are not on any also the fact that 23% of the marriages that are unhappy today stats action and they will wait five years and five years they will be happy. Just don't rush to divorce. Just be patient and sweet live in such an instant, culturally want instant gratification. We want everything perfect come into marriage with unrealistic expectations. We don't realize is like planting a garden in the first little queenly sprouting spelling wait 10 years right 15 years wait 25 years. Wait 40 years little sprout is going to bear fruit is going to be a beautiful tree you're going to be happier, healthier affect the statistics.

Are you be more financially stable and retire wealthy or stay married people interesting law, the perfect person you're going to find another person was flawed like you, but you have this opportunity. God brings people into our lives in order that we might grow in the struggle in the quarrels that we week turnaround we learn to forgive. We learn to love more deeply our life is 44 years of our marriage is cheaper and richer and more beautiful. We thought we had a good marriage. Five years at 15 years, the media is telling stay the course.

God is good. His word is true. Don't be afraid to make the commitment and enjoy your marriage expect God to bless the Lord, along with pastor Greg Laurie Pastor Jason Powell and Pastor Elijah Braggs and his wife Sarah roundtable discussion today on a new beginning is a part of pastor Greg presentation called marriage 101 great let me ask you what we do in those times when the bottom just absolutely falls out of our lives and we wonder if maybe God wasn't paying attention he was paying attention. How would he let that happen. Help us think through those moments of crisis right let's pull the camera back and get the big picture our life as a beginning, a middle and an end.

God created us to walk with him and did no ship and got is also preparing us for heaven because heaven is a prepared place for prepared people. Jesus said I go to prepare a place for you. So God's in the game if you will, is to make you more like Jesus, you know, we "Romans 828 in times of crisis, but we forget there's a verse that follows a Romans 828 says, for we know that all things work together for good to those that love God, another called according to his purpose. But then verse 29 says, for whom he called, he also did foreknow to be conformed into the image of his own dear son.

So sometimes when we isolate Romans 828 we come to the conclusion of oh well this is a bad thing. God will make it into a good thing. That's not what the promise says it says so because all things to work together for good. But what is the ultimate good. The removal of our problem know the ultimate good is to be more like Jesus. So God is either done what is happening in your life or he has allowed it for his purposes, so that is the moment we must learn to trust him. And speaking of trusting him. Here's a family who is trusted God through great difficulty not only losing many family members in the short period of time, but losing the real matriarch of their family, their mother and the wife of Tony Evans.

I'm talking about Lois Evans. I'm talking about the Evans family. Tony is the dad and we have crystal Priscilla Anthony and Jonathan, all of them walking with the Lord. That's a real tribute to not only Tony but especially to Lois and the title of this book is divine disruption which really unique about this book. Dave is the whole family chimed in and participated and contributed to it and this is a book that brings hope and encouragement and subtitled holding on debates when life breaks your heart. Maybe I'm talking to somebody right now who was a broken heart.

It makes no sense what is happened to you, and you're wondering as Dave mentioned earlier, is God paying attention. The answer is yes, yes, because as I've often said the word hoops is not in God's vocabulary God's work in your life. But let me share this book with you, which will offer you a biblical perspective and honest words of encouragement. I say honest because the Evans family as candid as he discussed what it's like to lose someone as important as their mother and Tony speaking of losing his wife, but really who we really lose someone we know where they are.

They all know that she's in heaven they know they'll see her again and that is the hope of the Christian. Let me send you this book divine disruption for your gift of any size and whatever you send will be used to help us continue to bring the gospel to people that need to hear it and to bring words of hope to those who are feeling hopeless in this right is such an important resource for those who were facing these kinds of emotional challenges right now, get this book for yourself or give it to someone you know who could use this biblical encouragement again is called divine disruption and will send a copy or way to say thank you for your donation to help us continue these daily studies here on a new beginning were completely listener supported and we so much appreciate those who partner with us, you can call us at 1-800-821-3300. That's a 24 seven phone number 1-800-821-3300 or write a new beginning. Box 4000, Riverside, CA 92514 or go online to harvest God or the next time pastor Greg brings us the conclusion of this message. Marriage 101 and more practical insight on keeping our marriage is harmonious so they can go to districts join us here on the new beginning pastor and Bible teacher Greg Laurie everybody.

Thanks for listening to this podcast to learn more about harvest ministries follow the show and consider supporting it. Just go to to find out how to know God personally go to and click on know God

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