Hope for Those Who Have Lost Loved Ones: God's Message to Us

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It's been said that men can live 40 days without food, three days without water, eight minutes without air, and about one second without hope. So what is my hope in? My hope is in God. Coming up today on A New Beginning, Pastor Greg Laurie points out when we place our hope in our God, His hopes for us begin to take shape. I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord. They're thoughts of peace, not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

The old pop song by Bill Withers, called Lean on Me, talked about the value of leaning on a friend when we're weak. Today we'll see that's God's message to us. When our lives have been shredded by circumstances beyond our control, or even circumstances brought on by our own mistakes, God is our refuge. Today on A New Beginning, Pastor Greg Laurie points out after his son suddenly went to heaven, God's compassion was reconfirmed.

And he shares that reassurance today. Understand what I am going to be sharing with you is not from an ivory tower of theory. This is from the valley of the shadow of death where I have personally found the hope promised to us in Scripture. That is where we are going to find the hope that we need. We are going to find it in God's Word. Listen to Psalm 119 verse 114.

You are my refuge and my shield. Your Word is my only source of hope. Romans 15 says, such things were written in the Scripture long ago to teach us and they give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God's promises.

It has been said that men can live 40 days without food, three days without water, eight minutes without air, and about one second without hope. We all need hope in life to get through. But what does it mean to have hope? Is it just hope and hope? Oh I just know things will get better.

Well wait. You don't know it because things could actually get worse right. So what is my hope in? My hope is in God.

I have to look to Him. And here is what God says to us in one of my favorite verses. Jeremiah 29 and 11. The Lord says, I know the thoughts that I think toward you says the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you a future and a what?

A hope. That is what God is saying to us. Now contextually that statement was given to the Israelites when they were in Babylonian captivity. Because of their penchant for idolatry the Lord banished them to the land of idolatry Babylon for 70 long years. They were no longer worshipping.

They said they hung their harps on the willow tree which means that they sort of put the guitar away in the closet and unplugged the amps and there were no praise services happening because they felt like God had forgotten about them and God had abandoned them. So with that backdrop the Lord says, Hey everyone listen. I know the thoughts that I think toward you says the Lord. They are thoughts of peace not of evil to give you a future and a hope. God was saying, Israel listen to me. Your days are not over.

I have a future for you. And God is saying the same to us. I love how the Lord says, I know the thoughts that I think toward you. It would have been enough if God would have said, I know the single thought I once had toward you for a fleeting moment. Wouldn't you be happy to know that God Almighty the Creator of the universe had a single thought about you.

I would. But that is not what the Lord says. He says, I know the thoughts. Plural.

More than one. That I think not just past tense but present tense toward you. Thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you a future. So the thoughts of God are from what He has thought, what He is thinking, and what He still will think. They are good thoughts.

The Bible says in Psalm 45, many are your wonderful works which you have done and your thoughts toward us cannot be counted. And what does He mean when He says a future? It could better be translated an expected end. Or another translation would say a ground of hope or things hoped for. In other words there will be an outcome. There will be completion in your life.

God will tie up the loose ends because as a Christian I am a work in progress. You know when a loved one leaves this world, especially when it is unexpected, it tears us up inside. Even when it is expected it is very hard to deal with. There is a deep sense of loss because there was a deep love. You know sometimes people will say, well you shouldn't be crying. You shouldn't be mourning.

They are in heaven if they are a believer. But even the great apostle Paul talked about the deep sorrow he was feeling if a friend of his would die. In Philippians 2.25 he says, I thought I would send Epaphroditus back to you. He is a true brother, a faithful worker, a courageous soldier. He was your messenger to help me in my need. Now I am sending him home again for he has been longing to see you. And he was very distressed that you found out he was ill and he surely was ill. In fact he almost died but God had mercy on him.

Listen to this. Paul says, but also on me so I would not have such unbearable sorrow. This is Paul who has been to heaven and has come back again.

This is Paul who had more faith than anyone you can imagine and yet Paul himself is saying, if Epaphroditus had died I don't know if I could have borne it. You see. And that is how it can be. You wonder can I bear this. Can I get through this. When you lose someone you think can I survive this. And people will say, don't cry.

Get over it. But I want to say something to you that know someone that is mourning. The Bible says there is a time to weep and there is a time to mourn. And don't ever tell a person who has lost someone to get over it or to stop crying.

Who are you to say such a thing. Be patient with people who are mourning. But now let me say a word to you who are mourning. The loss of someone. You need perspective. You need perspective. Psalm 42 the Psalmist writes, day and night I have only had tears for food while my enemies continually tell me, saying, where is this God of yours?

My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be. I walked among crowds of worshipers leading a great procession to the house of God singing for joy and giving thanks. It was the sound of a great celebration. But then he corrects himself. And he says, why am I discouraged?

Why am I so sad? I will put my hope in God and will praise Him again my Savior and my God. I know what the Psalmist means when he says, I have only had tears for food. When you have a breakfast, lunch, and dinner of tears. And you lose your appetite. And you cry constantly. You know my wife said she had only seen me cry maybe two or three times in our life together.

And after the Lord took Christopher I cried every day for hours and in deep crying. And so I understand what he is talking about here. But there would be times where I would sort of go into like a black hole. Here is what happens. You are just going about your life and something triggers a memory. So many things can do it.

It is ridiculous. And you remember this time you were together. And then your first instinct is to call them or talk to them and you realize they are gone. And then you say, they are gone. They are gone. I will never see them on this earth again. And then you say, I will never see them again.

And why did this happen to me? And all these things go through your mind. I am just being honest with you.

You think preachers don't think these things. I am still just a guy. Ok. All these thoughts go through my mind. So here is what I do. I say, Greg you listen to me now. I start preaching to myself. Someone watching would think I am a lunatic. And maybe I am. But I am a hopeful lunatic.

I will say, Greg you listen to me. The Bible says you will see your son again. And he is in heaven. And the Bible says that Jesus is the resurrection and the life. And he that believes in Him will not die. And Greg, and I will remind myself of the promises of God. I will quote them out loud to myself. And you know what. It just sort of lifts me up from this pit I found myself in.

And we need to do this. That is what the psalmist is doing. Hey man all I do is cry day and night.

Why does this happen to me? I remember the good old days. And then he says, hey hope thou in God. What are you doing?

And he corrects his thinking. Grief is a lot like wiping out on a wave. How many of you surf? Raise your hand up. We don't have a lot of surfers here at Harvest. Ok. Let me restate the question. How many of you have ever been out in the ocean and you got caught in a set of waves and got pounded in white water?

Raise your hand. There we are. See that is more like me. I would like to say yes I am a great surfer but I am more like the guy floundering in white water. I went out surfing with Raul Rees a while back and Raul tells everyone how much he surfs. And as I recall we didn't do a lot of wave catching.

We did more floundering in white water the two of us together. But it sounds good when we say we are surfers. Right. But anyway what you want to avoid is getting caught in this impact zone. So when you are out surfing or body surfing or boogie boarding or whatever you are doing you see a set of waves coming in. You have to do the very thing you don't want to do which is go toward the wave.

Right. You want to run to the shore but you don't want to do that. So you go toward the wave. You swim. Try to go under the wave or over the top of the wave. But you are paddling out and the wave picks you up and the worst way to go is backwards, which I have done. And then you get so discombobulated you don't know which way is up and more than one person is drowned because they went the wrong direction. They went down when they should have gone up. They take water into their lungs.

They go unconscious. So here is what you need to remember. If you are out surfing and you have your surfboard or your boogie board and you have a leash on attached to your ankle, grab your leash and pull on it and go in the direction of the leash. Why?

Because it is attached to your board and your board is buoyant and will be on the surface so even if it goes against the logic in the moment follow your leash to the top. Right. Well that is very helpful. I just wanted to give you that little tip. Anyway.

No. It is a good tip though. Here is the analogy. The Word of God is like that leash that we pull on. And it takes us to the surface where we can get proper perspective on what is really happening because our emotions like white water will get the best of us and we will be overwhelmed but we hope in God and we believe the Word of God and it corrects us. And then we might get caught in another wave and then another.

But we keep hoping again and again and again. Pastor Greg Laurie will have the second half of his message in just a moment. It is such a blessing to hear from listeners who take time to express their appreciation. Pastor Greg I just wanted to thank you for your daily devotionals and also for your sermons.

I especially liked your series on heaven and what to expect when we get there. It has helped me accept my husband's death much easier knowing that for the year and a half of him being in the hospital suffering complications from a liver transplant and him not being able to eat any food now that he's in heaven he can eat anything he wants to. That somehow gave me great comfort in knowing this. Since my faith is in the Lord and Savior I know that he's not suffering any longer and I will see him again someday. But also learning of things that we can expect in heaven from your message just brought me a little more comfort in this very difficult time right now. Thank you so much for being a vessel for God. If you have a story to share why not call us and give us all the details. Here's the number 1-866-871-1144 866-871-1144. Well today Pastor Greg is presenting one of his most requested messages of the past year called hope for those who have lost loved ones.

Get a replay at harvest.org. Well let's look now at our text John chapter 11. This is a story of people who have lost hope. It is a story of the death of a loved one.

A man named Lazarus. And how his sisters Mary and Martha reacted. It is also a story of how Jesus reacts to such circumstances and how God can be glorified in such situations.

But it is a hopeful message. We see how the Lord deals with these people and how He deals with us. Before we read these verses let's just point out that Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were a tight knit family. They were three siblings that loved each other. And they had a great home.

Everyone knew Martha was a killer chef. And Jesus loved to come visit. Showing up with a bunch of His friends. Hey we are here. Brought 12 friends.

Is that ok? And Martha who was so hospitable would always make up a fantastic meal for the Lord. These guys Mary, Martha, and Lazarus could legitimately say that Jesus of Nazareth was their personal friend because He frequented their home, which was within striking distance from Jerusalem there in Bethany.

So now tragedy comes even to their home. And Lazarus is very very ill. That is where the story starts. John 11 verse 1. Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany. The town of Mary and her sister Martha. It was that Mary who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick. Therefore the sisters sent to him saying, Lord behold he whom you love is sick. So what do we learn from this story?

Number one. Life is filled with pain, sorrow, and the death of loved ones. Again life is filled with pain, sorrow, and the death of loved ones.

I don't know why but some of us may think we are going to get a pass. We are going to somehow make it through life unscathed. Never having a major tragedy. Never having any kind of illness.

Never losing a loved one. It is just all going to be great. But then when it comes our way we are shocked. Don't be shocked.

Peter said in 1 Peter 4.12, "'Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you as though some strange thing were happening to you.'" Don't be surprised. Like why is this happening? What do you mean why is it happening?

It happens to everyone. Jesus said, "'In this world you will have tribulation.'" So it is going to come your way. It is going to knock at your door. It will probably start with your grandparents dying. And then your parents. And eventually it could be your spouse. It might be a child. It could be a close friend that will remind you of your mortality.

But when it is someone close to you like a spouse or a child or a brother as it was for Mary and Martha it is a whole different thing. So that is number one. Life is filled with pain, sorrow, and the death of loved ones.

Number two. God loves us. God loves us. Don't rush over that and don't misunderstand it. Let it sink in. God loves you. Listen to this. Whatever He does or allows to happen in your life as His child is motivated by His everlasting love for you.

Let me repeat that. Whatever He does or allows to happen in your life as His child is motivated by His everlasting love for you. God says in His Word, "'I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you.'"

He loves you. And He loved them. I want you to notice what they said in verse 3. "'Lord, the one whom you love is sick.'"

They knew Jesus loved them. And by the way this word that is used here for the one you love is from the Greek word phileo. And phileo means brother love. Now that is where Philadelphia got their name. The city of brotherly love.

Phileo. "'Lord, your friend that you love like a brother is sick.'" That was the word that they sent to Jesus.

You know and that is the perfect thing to do when crisis hits. When you are in trouble bring it to Jesus. When the Israelites were criticizing and turning against Moses we read in Exodus 15 25, He cried unto the Lord. When you are criticized unfairly take it to the Lord. When Hezekiah received a threatening letter we read that he spread it out before the Lord.

Have you ever received a letter threatening you? When John the Baptist was beheaded the disciples went and told Jesus Matthew 14 12 says. So that is what we need to do when trouble comes. We need to go and tell Jesus.

Now I want you to notice the basis for their appeal. They didn't say, "'Hey Lord you owe us man. We fed you all the time and you and your friends crashed at our house.

How about showing a little love here and healing your buddy.'" They didn't say anything like that. Hey Mary could have said, "'Who was there at your feet anointing them?'" Huh.

That was me right. Martha could have said, "'Hey who makes your favorite meatloaf?'" They didn't do any of that. They just said, "'Lord the one that you love is sick.'" Verse three. They didn't even say, "'Lord we love you so much so do this for us.'" They did a baser appeal on their love for God but rather on His love for them.

That is just what we should do. Because guess what. My love. Your love. It is fickle.

It fluctuates. God's love for me is consistent and never changing. Lord the one that you love is sick and the time to act is now. And Jesus would act in His time and in His way. Look at verse four and five. When Jesus heard that He said, "'This sickness is not unto death but for the glory of God that the Son of God may be glorified through it.' Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Therefore when He heard that He was sick He stayed two more days in the place where He was." What. He did what. It seems like we would have read that when Jesus heard this.

Because He loved Mary, Martha, and Lazarus He found the fastest horse and ran full speed to get to his sick friend. Or we could read that Jesus just appeared there. Boom. Hello everyone. What is up?

How can I help? No. Because He loved them He delayed His arrival.

Interesting though. A different word is used here for love. Mary and Martha say the one you love.

Phileo. Brother love is sick. The word that is used here is the Greek word agape which speaks of God's all consuming love. And Jesus because He loved Him in this way did not come when they wanted Him to come. Remember His delays are not necessarily His denials. Just as surely as God has His will He has His timing.

Ecclesiastes 3.11 says, God has made everything beautiful in His time. So here is what is really happening. Jesus is trying to help Mary and Martha to get the big picture. Guys I know it seems like I should come there right now. But what I am going to do is better than what you are asking me to do.

I am going to go above and beyond your request. Pastor Greg Laurie with reassuring insights on the hope we can find in the Lord. And there is much more to come as Pastor Greg completes this study here on A New Beginning. Well, we are happy to have Pastor Levi Lusko with us today, lead pastor of Fresh Life Church in Montana, Utah, Oregon, and Wyoming. And he is the author of the new book, a 90-day devotional for kids called Roar Like a Lion.

Levi, if you would, explain that title for us. Well, it is an incredible thing to follow Jesus because He is the Lion of the tribe of Judah. And the book of Proverbs says if we follow Him in His footsteps, we can be as bold as a lion, as righteous followers of Christ. And so I love the idea of the strength and even the tension because that strength is exercised through humility. Because even though Jesus is the Lion, when we see Him, He is a Lamb who has been slain. And so there is that tension of majesty and meekness of strength that exercised through weakness. And I want kids to know that they do not have to feel afraid.

They are going to feel afraid lots, but that is where you have the occasion for true bravery. Now, you have a book also called Through the Eyes of a Lion. Are they connected?

Yes, they are. So our daughter, Lynia, who went home to be with Jesus in 2012, we nicknamed her Lynia Lion. And when she went to heaven, we were able to donate her corneas through an amazing organization called Sightlife to two blind people who received sight, and they see life through her eyes. And so we wrote the book Through the Eyes of a Lion to help people know that if they trust in Jesus, He can turn their pain into power. And that book, by God's grace, touched people.

I know, Pastor Greg, you guys had it on the show as a gift that you gave out to a lot of people who supported the ministry, A New Beginning. And this book is basically the kid version of Through the Eyes of a Lion so that we can now help kids understand the same principles. You know, Dave, we've known Levi and his family for years, and I can tell you that Levi and his wife, Jenny, they just love their family. Levi's a real family man, and his kids love to be with him, and he's so much a part of their lives. And Levi, I'm so appreciative that you want to take these truths and bring them to the children.

You know, we're told in Scripture that the role of a parent is to teach these things to our children when they rise up, when they lie down, when we walk on the way. And I think what you've done here in a fantastic way is starting with the graphics. You know, as an artist, I notice things like that. It's a super cool-looking book, great design, really fresh graphics, really engaging. And then the layout of the pages is very appealing and broken up, and so it's not just a barrage of type, and it's something that the kids themselves can read and participate in the process as they go through it.

And, you know, the great thing about doing devotions with your kid is, or your children, is, you know, you learn as they learn, right? So one of the cool things I like about your book is you have, like here's chapter one, Roar Like a Lion. So you talk about why you chose this picture and what it's like to roar in a lion.

Then there's this little side column, and you do these, and in each story you tell a little, a bunch of factoids, right? So here you talk about roaring like a lion, and then you tell us in the sidebar there, in the wild, lions roar for three reasons. Number one, to let other lions know where they are. Number two, to show how powerful they are.

And thirdly, to scare off an enemy. And then you say, your life should be the same for the same reasons, and then you expound on that. That's just so cool. It's bite-sized, it's appealing, it's colorful, it's engaging, and I think kids are going to like it, and I think adults are going to like it too. And this, by the way, is our gift to you this month for your gift of any size. What a great New Year's resolution to say, I want to study the Bible with my family and specifically with my kids. So whatever you can send to us here at A New Beginning, we'll send you your own copy of Roar Like a Lion by my friend Levi Lusko. Yeah, it's a great resource for your kids, your grandkids, neighbor kids, or even to donate to the children's ministry at your church. And we'll send it to thank you for your donation. That's an investment in changed lives through A New Beginning and through our large evangelistic events. So we hope you'll make a donation today, and you can donate securely online at harvest.org or write A New Beginning, Box 4000, Riverside, CA 92514. Or call anytime around the clock 1-800-821-3300.

That's 1-800-821-3300. Well, next time, Pastor Greg comes back to wrap up his message called Hope for Those Who Have Lost Loved Ones. Join us here on A New Beginning with pastor and Bible teacher, Greg Laurie. Here's some bonus content for our podcast listeners. As we were visiting with Pastor Levi Lusko, he had some good things to say to Pastor Greg about the importance of godly fatherhood.

Let's listen. Watching you as a dad over the years and watching you as a grandfather has just been such an inspiration to us, you and Kathy, the way you've prioritized your kids. And of course, walking through grief as you guys did through Christopher's homecoming. We had that as our, I've always called you our footsteps in the snow because we've been able to follow your footsteps and it helped us navigate our way through grief.

And I think it is just, like you said, so important. Your kids, you blink and they're, I mean, my oldest is 16. She's about to get her driver's license. And you just think how quickly that happens. And you know, so before you know it, everyone listening, your kids are going to be out of the house and you're going to be an empty nester.

And what did you do to get God's word in their heart? We all want to save up for college. We all want to save up for our daughters' weddings. But more than anything, the spiritual deposit we can make into them is what's going to last not only on earth, but into eternity. Very true. The preceding podcast was made possible by Harvest Partners, helping people everywhere know God. Learn how to become a Harvest Partner, sign up for daily devotions, and find resources to help you grow in your faith at harvest.org.