Classic Car Guy Humor - Matter Jokes

You know, you might guess that since the name of your movie is a matter of life, there's some good jokes that have to do with the idea of matter. Did you know that, Doug? I did not. Okay, so here you go.

Do you know it doesn't matter how hard you push the envelope? Do you know why, Carmen? No, I'm not sure. Robbie, let us know.

Because it's stationary. I would have never thought of that. That was so good. You can laugh too, Tracy. It's okay. You may not know this, but no matter, and again using the word matter, no matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele. You know why, Doug? I can only imagine. If anybody asks me if I play an instrument, I can say I play a little guitar. Nice.

Yeah, there you go. And it doesn't matter if you're tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor, poor. Because at the end of the day, you know why? Why?

At the end of the day, it's night. Oh, I'm stealing some of these. Nice. So yeah, there you go. And no matter what I've tried and tried, no matter what I do, you know, I can't seem to master the entire alphabet, Carmen. I don't know why. You saw that one coming, Doug. Did you hear this? Yeah. So why doesn't it matter if you can spell Armageddon? Why doesn't it matter if you can spell Armageddon if you know the answer to that and Robbie's punishing way?